Meditation on Great Compassion

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A virtual Dharma talk by Tenshin Roshi for an online gathering of the No Abode community

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today i i
i'm here to continue
the practice
oh great compassion
to continue
the meditation
of great compassion
buddhist compassion bodhisattva compassion
so again i situate our practice
at the center
of all suffering beaks
for each of us to take our seat there
our take our seed here
at the center of all suffering beings
pay homage
two great compassion
two praised great compassion
to practice great compassion

great compassion protects
and liberates all living beings
it's the ongoing process of protecting
respecting caring for
liberating living beings
it is the practice of the body sought for precepts

great compassion is being intimate
with all living bags
that's what it is

in this intimacy this compassion
that self and other are the same
it listens to the cries of the world
it observes all living beings and understands that all beings are the same as self
this understanding helps people
this compassion which understands
others are ourself
no separation
this liberates beings
listening in this way observing in this way
observing the such many kinds of suffering in this world in this way

compassion responds appropriately
each living being

at the center of the world of suffering
freedom from suffering freedom with suffering
and harmony i realized
this is nirvana to realize intimacy with all beings
nirvana is to realize that
and to be at peace with it and harmonize with it and liberate all

of course it is a great great challenge
to be intimate with all suffering beings
with all of our personal pain
and with all the pain we see in the world
to be intimate with all harm
to be intimate with all cruelty
and through this intimacy
respond appropriately

i am at the center and you're at the center
and i am responding and you are responding
to all living beings
and recently someone said to me
i don't see you sang that in some situations we need to intervene to stop harm
you seem to avoid boy sang
that we should intervene to stop harm
and i thought oh and i and i think you do that because you're trying to teach great compassion and i would say yes
i don't hear myself saying
you need to intervene in order to stop harm i don't hear myself saying that
i also don't hear myself saying you need not to intervene
in order to stop evil to stop harm
i don't hear myself saying that you should are you need to practice
great compassion
i do not find myself
feeling the need to tell people what they need to do
i more find myself trying to practice my understanding of bodhisattva of compassion and to praise it and to share my understanding with others to see if they would like to practice great compassion to
i don't i generally speaking i do not hear myself almost ever telling living beings what they need to do what they should do what they must do
they sometimes asked me what do i need to do what should i do what must i do can i want to support them to find out
if they want to practice compassion bodhisattva compassion and help them do that
not tell them that they should
and is possible that as i try to help people
practice great compassion someone might think that i'm intervening it's possible someone might think that i'm intervening
i might it's possible i might intervene
but that's different from telling you that you should intervene or not interview
or i might not intervene
that's different from telling you that you should not intervene

there's a scripture in the old
pali canon and is called i think prince a buyer
and the boot is having a conversation with this prince this prince or buyer has invited the buddha to come and have lunch at his palace and the buddha accepted the invitation and i guess after the prince serve
during the buddha with her own hands the prince served the buddha with her own hands and after the buddha had enough to eat
the prince asked the buddha
does the blessed one
in a in an unwelcome and disagreeable way to others
does the gentle compassionate buddha sometimes speak and unwelcome and disagreeable ways to others and the buddha said
there's not a one sided answered of that question
and at that time of the king and the prince had a baby in his lap
and the buddhist said to the prince
ah now prince
if that child
sure but should put a pebble or a stick in his mouth and it gets stuck there
what would you do
and the prince said i would take it up right away
and if i couldn't get it out right away i would take the baby's head and my left hand and with my right hand and a crypt finger i would reach in pole the stick or the pebble out of the mouth
even if it drew blood i would do this to get that stick out as a out of the baby's mouth
and why would i do this because of my compassion
for the child
that's what the prince said to the buddha
and then the buddha said
if something is
not true
and not beneficial
and not welcome or are agreeable to others
did you get that if something's untrue
not beneficial and disagreeable the buddha will not speak it
if something is true
and beneficial
because me if something's true but not beneficial and agreeable and welcome the buddha will not speak it
if something is untrue
and beneficial
and it's agreeable
and welcome the buddha will not speak it
if something is
true true
and beneficial
an unwelcome
and disagreeable
the putin knows when to say it
the buddha knows the right time
if something is true and beneficial
welcome an agreeable the buddha knows the right time
once again if something is true and beneficial but unwelcome
the buddha knows the right time

the buddha will only speak what is true and beneficial
whether it's welcome or not they'll only speak those things but it doesn't mean that the buddha will speak everything that is true and beneficial
if the buddha knows when to speak it
even if it's unwelcome
and the buddha did speak some things that were unwelcome on some occasions
disagreeable things were said by the border to living beings because they were true and beneficial
not because they were welcome or unwelcome but because they were true and beneficial and it was the right time
this is great compassion makes the appropriate response it knows when and how

when we are intimate
with living beings
they are liberated
when we are with all kinds of suffering
and we embrace the suffering
and practice the six perfections
of generosity
ethical discipline
then we can practice
concentration and wisdom with
suffering bags
and today i offer up something has offer before which is six not to six perfections but six
ah six aspects of developing intimacy
and liberating bags
the first step is again
the first step is practicing generosity
with suffering bags with our internal suffering beings and with so-called other suffering bags
we practice compassion we in the form of giving

this is the first body sought for practice
and it's a first step and becoming intimate with suffering

we welcome it
we open ourselves to
we are respectful of it
and then
we practice being very careful with it

not killing the suffering not trying to get some other thing than was being given to us
beholding nothing other than what is here

and then we practice patience with the suffer which again is to be in the present
with this suffering

if we can do this
we do not in the least bit overlook or disregard or avoid the suffering
we're completely with it
and if we're completely with it there is the possibility of relaxing with it this is the second stage the first stage is to respected and settle with it
and the first sign that we've really subtle is that we allow ourselves to be with it and relaxed with it
so this is a key point here i'm suggesting that to be intimate with the suffer and the intimacy with suffering is the liberation of the suffering
that the intimacy requires not keep running away from it not turning away from it not touching it but just being completely with it and a sign that were completely with it is that we can relax with the pain
the tensing up
separatists somewhat from the pain or being somewhat separated from the pain there's attention there
and it's we cannot actually relax with the pain unless for close to it
and we are close to it we are all day long close to it
i'm close to it i'm close to it i'm close to it and i'm close to your close to it you're close to it you're surrounded by it
all the suffering
are you ready to relax with it

the realization of intimacy with the suffering
which is great compassion and liberation
requires that we relax with it
we soften with it
if we can be relaxed than we can enter the next aspect
of intimacy
we can be playful with the suffering
it's still suffer
but were relaxed with it and we can play with it

and this plays it could save is serious
but it's not so serious that we aren't relaxed and playful
a serious our sincere i sincere play
and if we can be close

which means generous
patient if we can be close with these practices and we can relax and be playful with the pan
we can be creative with it or we can enter into the creativity of self and other we can enter into hall self and other is a creative process
and if week and when we enter this creative process we will understand what suffering is
and in this understanding of what it is
suffering beings are liberated

embracing all suffering beings as much as we can
feel that were really they're giving ourselves to the embrace of all living beings
and then check it out
am i relaxed with it
am i who am i trying to be in the future a little bit or when it's over the in the past how it used to be and my really here and i my relaxed with this with these terrible things
great compassion relaxes with them in order to benefit bags
in a relaxed way it responds to them in a playful creative way in a way that is understanding and expresses understanding and liberates

i was inspired to bring this up
by reading a old new yorker
article about
the poet
wallace stevens
a person who's suffered greatly
and yet in the midst of his great suffering
his great depression
there there emerged somehow
a great creative mind and a great creative heart
and the person who wrote the article said that
the story of
wallace stevens demonstrates ts eliot's principle of the separation
of the suffering person
and the creative person
and i thought well that's a good opportunity for me to say it differently
it demonstrates how the creative person is living at the center of the suffering person
and there's no real creative person who's not situated at the center of suffered they're not separate they are mutually including
we've all got to suffering person and suffering people now at the center of it we will discuss will discover the creative person who understand the suffering and liberates it together with all the beings that she lives
lt's with

so while is stevens says
one must have the mind of winter i'm not a mind of winter one must have a mind of winter
and then it later he says
speaking of the wind
for the listener
who listens
in this know
who nothing in themselves
beholds nothing that is not here
nothing that is not here
and nothing that is
in the midst of suffering
we listen
we listen to it all
and we behold nothing that is not here
and we discover the nothing that is
we discover
reality of suffering
so now i welcome the great assembly to bring forth
you're great compassion
and that includes everything
bring it on
great assembly
the first offering is from l and him

my first question is
a man one thing that i have learned previously about right speech and and when you were telling the story about the buddha and what he was saying about speech that made me think of us so
i remembered those three things that you mentioned that i'm beneficial and shrill and timely and then i remembered a was one ah which is kind and actually beneficial and kind
yeah and can you said so then when question came up for me because in some way the question was about
you were saying you even if it's unwelcome and even if it's disagreeable in some way whichever uttered those are indifferent you know so it certainly a kind of brought up this question for me what what is buddies kind speech because i understand sometimes it has to be you know strong were fairer and more you
no difficult for someone to receive router the others may question at first
yeah so like the finger reaching into the mouth it if it can get to stick out easily fine but maybe it can't and it might seem that it might seem harsh or rough
but it's kind it's it's it's an expression of compassion but it might look fierce or intense or rough
and so the as many sad stories about this anew people acting not like sakyamuni buddha did but some the once in awhile shakyamuni buddha was kind of little bit harsh
in i disagree with people sometimes but as always it's always beneficial if he's not can be beneficial he doesn't do it or she doesn't do it
in this place at the center when you have realized creativity and understood you know what has been if not you know this this compassion knows what's beneficial
even if it takes a rough form
it can see that this is a creative a mutual creative process of liberation but it may it may be part of becoming free maybe you may be receiving something that disagreeable
so are you saying that beneficial in kind
are are meant to be the same thing or that kind brings an additional i know intention know i think i think excursions i think it actually says beneficial and kind in some translations beneficial and kind but beneficial doesn't always look agreeable is not always welcome
something of beneficial speech is not people may think it's not not kind
but let's talk to knows
that it is beneficial and will say it at the right time but other people when they first
when they see it before the benefit is manifested they might think that doesn't look kind
and so if if i think somebody's beneficial but i feel like it will be welcome
part knowing the right time might be for me to think about it on contemplate isn't really beneficial i may have to work on that for a while before the right time
the buddha may be gets to that place more quickly but even the buddha who has arrived at clarity this has been official still has to wait so i think it's beneficial but i'm not sure so i met part of my timing issue might be to question whether it really is beneficial
so this questioning of isn't beneficial his part is part of the process of of being careful of ethics questioning whether i i have something to say i i think it's beneficial but i i'm i'm i'm what i mean
when i questioned myself and also i might ask a friend
where do you think of this you think would be beneficial
to to question what i think it's beneficial to question where and also i think is true to question him
so part of settling in with suffering is to question whether we're settled in with suffer
like someone might say to you yeah you know doubt will like i'm completely settled with my suffering and you might say oh really
it's amazing and then they might realize that they weren't
the questioning of them made them realize oh yeah i don't want to hear that i'm not you know
are you being sarcastic archer and i don't like that so but if i keep it to myself than you you can't say all good congratulations
and again there's many stories of i'm doing great and the teacher says oh congratulations in the student realizes what they are overlooking
but if they hadn't the of their hand put put that forth and allowed themselves to be questioned in a perhaps ironic way they wouldn't realize that the hand really arrived with you know fully with their suffering
they're still resisting the first noble truth so they don't understand it
the don't they don't yet understand suffering the truth of suffer because of resisting it and they didn't notice they were not relaxed with it until somebody said good work
yeah been
so something that i've been suffering about recently years i had gotten this job and the time and m and they work permits and then i just recently got notice that the government is cracking down on foreign workers and a particular way and so
and then job doesn't seem like it's going to be possible since it was sort of thrown into some i know
disappointment and uncertainty and third this feeling a made like oh i'm i really want to contribute and i thought this was this was my car in our you know i don't know and there's some kind of despair and concern and you know dreams that seem to
be saying i wanna be my authentic self but i don't know if i can do it i don't know it you know and one thing i've noticed in this process to it as i've been trying to bring bring compassion is theirs
sometimes it a little voice saying well but
but years so privileged like how can you
listen you know sort of invalidating like you're suffering is not something that is real suffering like a few where if you are that are buddhist you just you know and accept that things are uncertain and you know this is this is your ego being attached to something
and and you know it's not like somebody tie
i can hear this voice and there's another part of me that sort of way trying to bring compassion to that that be that seems you know clay
judgmental and and
yeah i kind of the is to the file ends in a way am
but the yeah i just that the that something that i started to notice is a challenge that comes out yeah
hmm that being as important as just as important as as the other beings you want to help

and helping that being will help you help the people you want to the other people you want to help if you skip over that those judgmental thoughts you be less able to help others who have different kind of suffering
or put it positively if you can take care of your thoughts about how how you're doing in your practice if you can take care of them you'll be a better able to do the practice you'd like to do
but the practiced is really to take care of dollars to don't skip over your own self judgments does a perfectly good sentient beings
please take care of them

our next offering is in peter
go rob lowe peter it's such a blessing to be here with you and with a great assembly i feel very much buoyed by it
i've missed tattered your head
ah i have been without your head
i have been practicing with trying to be present with pain and relaxed with pain and to various degrees of a success i wanted to ask if maybe you could give an example of being playful with pain
initially with one's own bit of course if it becomes insignificant to be able to do it with others as oneself but ah so how how would we go about being playful with one's pain well to to things popped in my consciousness when you said that i didn't put him there
but when you said that to them they popped in my contests and two things were
i'm rather that i don't i personally do not try to be relaxed
i know it's important
and i want to practice it but i don't try to be i more check to see if i am and if i if i noticed that i'm not then i play with it
i play with the lack of relaxation
in order to realize it and one way to play with it is to notice where am i where am i resisting where am i tense so actually we need to relax in order to play but also were you know we can find our relaxation by playing with our lack of relaxation my being
by being generous towards it and being present with it and then check out to sea
where am i where am i clinging where am i when they uptight where am i self righteous so in a way exploring the lack the tensions is kind of playful and in the process you might discover the relaxation without making it you it's right there and you'd
discover it the or thing i i i thought of was an example a wonderful example of a child psychologist actually just a psychologist who is working with children
and he was working with this
this youngest lou they're almost an infant but anyway maybe two years older one year old ah who was really having a hard time having seizures and rashes just suffering terribly and the child was brought to him and am
he he let the shall sit on his lap and on the child's are actually bid him a few times and he he dealt with that you know
but somehow he kindly ah it isn't and
and then ah he was relaxed with her
with her i'm biting him
he was relaxed with her suffering he was embracing her suffering she would she did it she was not relaxed with her suffering when she met him but she's after while she relaxed enough with their suffering that
again she she may be continue to bite him i'm not sure but he's her biting became more playful
and ah he had these tongue depressor is in his
breast pocket and she pulled a tongue depressor out and start playing with them
and so she was still suffering
and he was relaxed with her and he was he was supporting her being playful with him biting and and pulling the tongue depressor precious out and throwing them around the room
and then on
how was it
oh so then she started to play with your feet
and she's doing all this play in his lap right and she's relaxed enough to feel like she can sit on his lap pool is time to presses are bite his hand a little bit and play with her feet and so then she pulls your socks off
and then she tries to pull her toes off
and she noticed as it or toes don't come off and she's just like totally surprised by this wonderful thing of discovering the toe stocks come off and toes don't
so this kind of a realization that came to her while he was playing with her she was playing with him
there was enough relaxation and situation so that she could she could enter into some play and discovered this and be creative with it and pull off her socks and then even tried to pull her toes off and then in that process she had this great realization that toes don't come off
she was released from the hospital their next day
and her service seizures stopped
maybe not the next day but the next day her seizures stopped and within two weeks she was released from the hospital because she found a way to be with her suffering
and with him he showed her how to be with it he was wizard he was relaxed with it he was playful with it so she could relax with that she could play with it she can be creative with him and that she could understand and be free
did you ask for a story or example yeah yeah that's what that's an example know
thank you peter
we're next offering is from enrique

a poem that here
talked about it the and it's on m
her meaningful to me
ah for a long time i am
i grew up in a very cold place
for the call scrawled the snowman so i feel like i've lived a good part of my life like a snowman
an irish
you might collect your understanding or the our way what brought you to and wrote that poem for this talk
i thought that occurred to me by the first line and talked about
one must have a mind of winter and i've spent a lot of time actually thinking about what kind of mine that is
but i'm just wondering how you could just expand on that if what you bought seeds the connection with
the poem and a sitting in the midst of suffering
so sitting in the midst of suffering listening
in the listening in the snow
listening to the suffering
not adding anything to it not subtracting anything from it
lending it be what it is
and also nothing in myself i am just there's just listening
there's just observing the suffer
beholding nothing that's not there
i thought that that was
where the suffering person wallace stevens
found his creativity and freedom was in being with his suffering that way

at being was with are suffering in that way he calls the mind of because at the mind of winter
in being with are suffering in that way we can relax be playful and creative in the world of suffering and liberate all beings

your next offering me is from green

good morning
and thank you for your talk this morning rab and i wanted to ask you about
i guess my experience and more about it maybe you could comment on it am
i i've had i'm an idea that am
when i'm experiencing stuff fraying or i'm aware of pain and i've had an idea
i've meeting it i think that's the language i've been using as like meeting it i'm i'm gonna have an image in my mind of sitting upright with it like have heard you describe an
but that meeting still has like a feeling of edge and it still has a feeling that like is defining like self and other
i'm and then when i heard you speak and say an
when you were describing i think this morning and compassion in the form of generosity i think i heard you say not killing suffering not trying to get something other than what's been given to us and i can't have that shot this morning when i was sitting because i was realizing
i'm i'm meeting the suffering but i'm still wanting it to be something else i'm still like i'm trying to meet it but i'm still thinking maybe if i meet it right it will change and
and then i had this experience were just for a moment when i remembered not to kill it
i felt that it entered my body and like actually entered my heart and it was kind of like
in some ways it was like a and alive kind of warming sensation but in some ways it was a little scary it was a little disturbing because i felt like an actual pain entering my heart and am anyway that was just a little bit of the experience i was going through this morning and say i will
under if you can speak to any of that and help me

if you scuse expression good job
the gear he or
this this morning you
you do something even though you didn't miss i think it i think you opened and welcomed the suffering
i mean there was an open and welcoming of the suffering
and up
the buddha doesn't exactly experience our pain but the buddha experiences the pay a pain the buddha feels pain for our pay because the buddha because a buddhist compassion buddha feels a pain
when of are suffering and this pain is book as is a great joy at the border
and the sense of an edge between us
is another thing another sentient being to be open to so there's you and me and there may be a sense of separation as another thought
to be open to and to be generous towards that thought
and maybe to feel the pain of that thought
the thought that were separate
and then
can you welcome that that thought and that pain and can you be careful of it
an and just we said not kill it but another way to say it is
don't look at anything other than that thought at that moment
and if you're trying to be some place else
or some other time or wished for something else that's also a lack of patience patience is with the pain
of the separation it's not thinking about when the pains gonna end it gives up the thought of when it's gonna end it's with the present suffering
so being with the present suffering is patience
not leaning into the past suffer
his patience not leaning into future suffering is patients not leaning into future no suffering or blending into the past no suffer being present with this one
is like
the holding nothing that's not here and that patients sets up the possibility of being more thoroughly present with the suffering and relaxing with it an opening to it even more
and calming down with it
and being playful with it
to some extent the very fact that you can relate the story is a kind of creative act
in response to the suffer
there's some relaxation and some playfulness in the way you have been working with suffering today
which entailed feeling some pain
working with suffering is not in this way it's not trying to avoid pain
trying to avoid the pain is another suffering
which we want to
a present with
patient were
and then we can be present with it in a relaxed way

good job

when suffering is from isabel and tillman

hello rep
allowed to man
five a question does yeah of more to the last
talk you gave were discussion we had a month ago
and that i heard you say that because the bodhisattvas are on compassionate with beings that they also feel pain when there's mundane joy
they perceived monday enjoy or something like that no i i would i take that back
okay ah nick i think body surface can accept i don't think it's so painful when people at monday enjoy it's essentially like a child you know like the good liked a little girl who ah
took off her socks or through the tongue depressor across the room
that does all successes she had ah i don't think that's not too painful was painful is
that because i care for her and she's suffering i feel the pain of that and that pain is
transcendent joy
the pain that i feel for you
for your suffering that's the greatest joy for me
but i also might feel mundane joy if i hear that you know you just a high jumped six feet or something
you know our or if you fixed your toaster or you fixed your car and you are just so happy to fix it i might have the odds that noise
i don't i'm not monday joy is wonderful is just nothing compared to
the joy of compassion
which is painful
i don't feel pain when i see a chart child succeed at something and really enjoy it
it's a joy to me do it a monday enjoy for me to see the child's is joy
but there's another but that comes and goes
you know and i might feel on monday night but then if the child is unsuccessful in his suffering if i care for her i feel pain
and that pain is my great joy and that doesn't come her go
thank you for clarifying that because i think that for me i was sort of
the i couldn't get clear how how that would have some thought but i wasn't really clear whole with if there would be a pain about me to the temporality of the mundane joy or
this is of sip on the mundane job that is potentially came to the bodhisattva that's that's another kind of yeah so
when we have a mundane joy and we realized it's temporary camp temporarily temporality we realize his temporality when you realize is impermanent that might be painful for us that's not that's a kind of pain has called the pain of joy when you paying a pleasure them
as the pain of pleasure
this is a pain of light
you not falling down on the ground and breaking your face that's one that's a pain of pain if you don't accept a completely but also joy when you realize it's impermanence or that's painful
that's that's not enjoy it but if if i see myself or someone else feeling suffering because of the pain of the temporality of mundane joy
and then i feel a pain for their pain he lets audi surface joy
the body surface can also have the joy of a warm shower the buddha can add the joy of eating rice it gets a job a monday enjoy
to have the blood sugar come up it's a joy we're not against that which is not addicted to it
and we're not addicted to our compassion either
so if i'm not trying to get the joy that comes because i care for suffering beings and not try on i'm not trying to get the pain that i feel when someone i love is in pain
i'm not trying to get that
and i'm not addicted to it
but it it's it but it's the most wonderful thing when it's there
so you don't need to keep suffering to feed my addiction to the spiritual joy of your suffering
it's good to hear
thank you very much more

our next offering is french early

the web at large charlie
i'm thank you thank you first or instruction and i
i've i've contemplated this sort of three point
faster rubric ah before opening my mouth after many years
and i but actually your year it's presented as as a story of
of how to do that does it
and i've tried i've realized that were not buddha and so i affected i found i have to practice it right lisa quit different words on it in in in our day-to-day lives
for example is it true i don't know
gouda maybe has that wisdom but i try using am
is it honest because maybe that's the best i can answer you know is i i think it's true like based on on my what i know and feel now
i'm and i i guess what i'm doing i'm asking me i use these quests is it honest is it helpful ah and is it is it time
all three those that i feel i like we don't
we don't know and we're we're guessing you know it's spam so i find a real i offended humbling to try to ask those questions and try to i answer those and and ah ah but i think humbling as good before helping our
do you have any other words that you use their to substitute as since we don't know the truth and we don't know the perfect time like how do you
quickly assessed that when you're trying to respond to people like me right now

i'm not i'm not telling you haim responding right but i am responding to you right now right
yeah but i'm not tell you how do this
and so here's my recent years compares more response
the appropriate response
and the appropriate response comes at in the creative process
but the creative process depends on being generous with what's going on with us and being careful with what's going on with us
so if youth if you have some thought
part of being careful with your thought is to wonder it to to wonder if it's true but also just a question to question is this true what i think i feel that that
i feel that this is i feel i feel uncomfortable i feel uncomfortable right now
i don't know if it's true but i i do feel uncomfortable but i also am i'm opened but i'm i'm i'm open to being questioned about my discomfort i'm not absolutely sure i'm just uncomfortable but honestly speaking i feel too uncomfortable
but it also i'm somewhat humble about my even my own feelings might even my own feelings are questionable
so but honestly or i think it's true that i feel uncomfortable but it's not a truth like it is can't be questioned
so practicing ethics with my feelings
allowing them to be here my generosity
the patient with the discomfort
and then think would it be beneficial to share this discomfort with somebody
but again that question too
questioning that are being open to that big question is again being ethical with my sense of what's beneficial or helpful
eventually buy this kind of brown work we can enter into the creative process where the creativity is making the appropriate response
it's not excluding my own
analysis and questioning myself it includes my humility and my honesty
but it's really a creative process
i the creative process is doing the work not me
but i'm there with it and i get to be there in the middle of it by taking care of
big being generous with my my offer my words being careful of them questioning them being patient with them and being patient with the situation in which there are rising
and then checking am i in our i think this would be beneficial but i am i relaxed
and working with that in if i'm not
again working with that so okay now i have something to say i'm relaxed and now i can not just can you could say playful but you could also say experiment i'm a do an experiment now
i've got something i wanna say and i wanted to be helpful but also i'm not sure about it can i tell you something i'm not sure if it's helpful or not but i'd like to do a little experiment with you
as up saying something just to see if in a explored truth and explore it's beneficial miss with you
so in this way we might together enter into a space where neither one of us are really in control of the situation but we're being creative together that's where i think the real that's where the buddha's living

and this conversation we're having right now
where it really is that is how were co-creating the conversation when neither one of us is really in charge
where i'm speaking you know for you and your speaking for me
that's where i trust is them is the real
life of the buddha's real appropriate response
but it doesn't exclude any of our questions and
in examinations and
dialogue it includes all them

are you send it you don't really think about these things when you're when you're when you're responding to somebody that you giving you thinking more about
i'm i'm more i'm more violent your eye opener permit you're checking if you're being creative
every time i'm just a servant of creativity at that time and the other person is too because they're they're in a sense i am what i am because of them
sometimes though i really find it helpful to think of these things to it to to use this little three point check especially when i was the feeling that's coming up is like what feel a little off right now like that's the whole name included and that's totally included
but it's possible that those that thinking is part of up in sunsets a more comprehensive process of creativity
it's it's like the colors in a painting
but the process is not just as colors as those paints or those brushes are the canvas the process is not just the instruments in the music
like one time i was listening to yoma in-person and it really struck me that i couldn't tell whether he was a good musician or not
imagine had this thought or he's he's really good
the universe at the beginning in all this is yo-yo ma's is going to be really good right and then he started and i got the that sort of was not an issue anymore that was something else my album which i don't know what that was but it wasn't me figuring out how good he was are being are thinking he was great although that could that was there for
part of the thing but what really struck me was when there was no thoughts of how good he was anymore
there was something i on it wasn't me judging him
even if i judged him has as a great cellist
that wasn't going on anymore there was something else
the host was going on and i met another i'm talking to you i don't think he was sitting there thinking i'm a good jealous
i don't think he was sitting there thinking this is really good music
right or a i don't think he was even thinking this is music and i don't think i was thinking this is music i got we we the whole audience and him got beyond thinking this is music
but you know when we went to the concert will probably stop for going to go listen to music now but that's kind of ridiculous because the music's already there before we entered the auditorium
that when he practiced for the concert he probably checked in was that good should i shall we got have more he probably did for many years
and then we get to a place
that's free of all all human judgment that's free of
but what's going on
but it doesn't you don't get there by excluding anything you get there by include you include everything and then when you include everything there's nothing by what's going on
everything's already included and there we find freedom together with everything that's included
yeah i'll try to get beyond my judgments
but you very much
thank you
our next offering is sylvia

hello sylvia

i've been waiting a long time to
raise my hand
and so i'm i'm kind of or how did i do it
and it's good as new and
i thank you very much for the stock
it's been it's it's like right on for these
for these last month am
where it failed i'm gonna go right into it is that okay
me it felt like have been in situations for les cons like in iraq in successive wrong
with intimate people friend sam very close people where i am
deep anger and deep i'm and stubby instability was last in my presence and almost like towards me like
fire dragon am
i am and what strikes me is the succession of it
then they can have come in at it like in a successive time and my response and my thinking about it am my helpful how my creating how is this dependent core rising how my part of these what is my pie
art in it ah ways this
almost like i'm my trying to be with the by trying to be with it a my good to myself
am i am allow in this
how did i put myself here
i'm so the question is about the dependent arising of an event
ah the intimacy of wanting to be helpful but at the same time they're naughty seen that of course there is judgment of course there is this is not okay this is inappropriate this is not the way i'm
i welcome
m difficult
mine brain heart
ah but also how am i creating this how am i part of this how what what is my part in his in these am

and how in the way can have whatever it is it's a hum i know eats
i'm asking me to be kind relax i'm compassionate bad also not not too judgmental but something about the boundary something about
this is not okay
i am
i'm another aspect of it something about the animal nature of i'm like the predator and their prey type of mind like them you are a threat for me i'm going to attack ah
this arising of such raul i'm content in a human being
thank you for listening
i have
miss being in your presence and also all these people that i have not totally looked up yet

so the the feeling
and maybe also the thought
this is not okay
so there's a situation that's you said raw
our art
is that situation
and that situation is calling for compassion
that raw situation but also the thought this is not okay that thought this is not okay that's calling for compassion to

and when you have this
it's fiery situation that's calling for compassion
i hear that there's a questioning arises
which is how how how do i contribute to this what is my responsibility
you didn't say it but the one could also say i am responsible for this situation
yeah and i wonder in i wonder what is my responsibility in this
intense raw difficult moment
you had those questions and those questions are part of compassion
those crushes i didn't hear i didn't feel when you asked said when you ask those questions i didn't feel you are pushing the pain away
i felt that those questions have the potential to help you be more intimate with this very difficult experience with this great pain with disc rawness and tenderness
the questions i think could help you be intimate with them
and then the question than this in they're also the other situation this is not okay
i don't think i should not be pushed away either
and again how do i contribute to the situation of the thought this is not okay was my responsibility to
this is not okay
when the thought this is not okay arises the bodhisattva is responsible in that situation of this is not okay
and she doesn't as she's wondering what is my responsibility in this is not okay
and we're living in a world now where many people think this is not okay
what is our responsibility here
what do we want to contribute to the world of this is not okay
and great compassion embraces this is not okay
it listens to this is not okay
is generous towards this is not okay
it questions this is not okay it's patient with this is not okay
and finally it relaxes with this is not okay
and plays with this is not okay

and makes a great artwork out of this is not okay
like i often bring up marcel proust to know that name
he wrote a very big book which is called remembrance of this is not okay
remembrance of all the time i wasted kiss artwork
taking care of this is not okay can be a great work of art
we don't push it away we wonder about what is this this is not okay
the world is suffering it's easy to say this is not okay
okay let's work with this is not okay
do you want to work with this is not okay do you want a practice compassion with this is not okay
i'm not telling you you should but there's an opportunity here

yes i'm something that comes up also is that
i'm any thought i may have of what the world or the other person has to work on it's not under my my responsibility totally
ah night i can only take care of i can think oh i see here there is something to work on a something unresolved that i see
but it's not been in the seat of them i mean been a friend i'd add this is why would you say com it's like is the person ready to hear what i think perhaps not so any said
that's where would your point in a becomes a little more clear like
when it's time to speak about and clarify things
to wait to the right moment

thank you so much a drink much

next offering lovey from josh

hey rob
i judge
hey you talked about arm
feeling the bodhisattva feels the pain of others suffering and that pain is a great joy know the bodhisattva sees as his suffering
he and seeing their suffering seeing the suffering of those i love
i feel suffering
i feel the suffering of my love i don't feel their suffering
i feel that suffering because i care for them
i have my own suffer
so i got usa like reason you don't feel the suffering of a little girl
in on tearing her party dress you don't feel that but because you love her you feel a great pain but the pain you feel because your lover is a joy
that's the bit i don't get and i've been wondering since i raised my hand for off the question i've been wondering if sometimes i get it in sometimes i don't get it but in a particular moment earlier when you were saying it i just thought or the thought came up well when i see others suffering i feel pain and that's not a great joy
it is so you have nothing you haven't found that the you haven't found that the pain which is a joy
this is a special peyton
this is the bodhisattva them and that pain is the greatest joy and you're telling us that you haven't discovered that particular type of suffering okay but i have discovered a kind of vert about it you heard about the head about it and when i heard word about it i thought this is one of
the most amazing things i've ever heard
that they're saying that this kind of suffering is the greatest joy but it's not a mundane joy
like the mundane joy of you love the little girl and her dress gets fixed and she's happy and you feel happy for her
that's that's a nice joy as a monday joy
the thing either the kind of sympathetic suffering or something which isn't the same as what you're talking about
yeah emphases a little different light
you might not know what it you know
you might not know at the you could have empathy and compassion
like somebody could be suffering something and you understand how they feel hot with the suffering they feel you understand you understand it that's empathy compassion is the different though it's more like you're with them
whether you understand how they feel that way or not you're with them your intimate with them and your intimacy with them hurts
hmm so there is empathy but because of compassion
there's pain
but the pain that's because of compassion is a joy
okay the empathy is more like the empathy mars in some ways
yes you can feel both empty empathy empathic pain and you can feel compassionate been
if i could possibly feel and both of the same time but maybe i'm not you can feel them both and of discerning that clearly yeah i'm not spotting the pain that for joy and sometimes you might you might feel compassionate pain
not really understand why the widest situations bothering them you don't come you don't get it
he's don't get it
in some odd that you don't you just can't put yourself in their shoes however even though you can't you love them and you see their suffering and you feel pain because you love them even though you don't understand why they're feeling that way
and that's a joy
and that joy helps you not run away from being with them
so i think i do experience and have experienced fear of being with someone for being really intimate with like one person who's suffering and listening to them for example summer might want to talk to me about their suffering and i can listen and there's some joy in that but i thought or think it seems like the joy comes back
i feel like i'm being helpful some kind of feeling good because i feel like i'm being helpful yeah and that that's a mundane that's a monday enjoy yeah yeah no offense i think i feel like i'm being helpful and maybe the person says josh you're being really helpful and that's layer yeah and josh you fixed me on great
a monday enjoy
which goes away which is you know it's fine but that monday joy doesn't necessarily help you go into the suffering with them
what helps you going to suffering with his compassion where she'd gone to the suffering and you feel suffering for them not their suffering and it's a joy so you can see you can keep working with them as a so joyful but it's painful to the joy of joshua
really aren't very health person
when that goes away and they said josh you really unhelpful
and then you feel that pain that pain you may not that may not make you feel like oh i can stay here with them forever insulting me
but the pain that comes because you care about is a joy so you can stay with their pain for you can stay with them
with no break which is what we want we don't want to run away from the suffering of the world because in the center of that suffering is where beings are saved
and we need a great joy to be in the center
meantime there's there is mundane pain and monday enjoy their know all part of it they're not they're completely included a completely included no thank you i feel like a gif there's a lotta something hit me in a place where that a lotta kind of contemplate and look at yeah
great thank you you're like to see you're welcome lovely to see you
our next offering will be from susan

hey i read can you hear me
it was wonderful and wonderful to see you again i missed you
put you talked about it hit me in my heart that i needed some let's just looking at english just
thank you
he has been a lot that's going on i think on just to start and then go into where i i
yeah so i saw my doctor everything is okay but the saying how you doing says will tell i am doing physically which is basically just small things i said that mentally i pissed off i'm okay an angry i don't wanna be around anybody and i'm okay
again then i realized that you know hey you know read by the else is doing this and then i can't stand it and was he supposed to to of this and i said that's about how i am and i am i'm okay with all of it i had to work with it because you know how like it but getting used to a new
way of being in the world is not an easy thing and everything is changing all the time more noticeably than i'm used to then what happened so that worked out i mean i got into you know when i get home i daven a attacks which i was not used to getting texas way toffee
about a man that i know that a had his coverage shots and he ended up in the hospital and on
the for a couple of weeks and he died and i was mortified i was very sad to hear that strand curses was yesterday and it
ice is needed share that with everybody ate what i did his arm and that was to getting a text usually i get a text from my family saying call me or somebody would call on the phone and said please call and so what i did as i called my cousin
we were like ten eleven years old we would talk about grandmother dying or this one diet so i called laney and we talked about it and i talked about the sharks are giving something like that on the on of attacks that it got very impersonal and was farge me to hear about this man
and so we talked about it and then as we kept talking we we time he got off the subject in and out we were talking about things that were watching and i got into talking about loop in which is wonderful on a netflix's funny and wonderful and magical
and i was happy and then
i had to do some errands and they came back and i read the email the tax again and i won't buy back there
filming just very very sad as that happen
it was a surprise so thank you for hearing that this important thank you so much

next we have time for one more offering
hello deborah ann and
atrophy check and about my understanding on
so as i feel the most pain when my son suffers
and recently had he had a big disappointment and we are in the car and i just tried to be with him know before i might have been a little more intrusive same trend going to talk about just with him just been with him and and then a distraction happened
me past him a sheep farm with a lot of fat sheep so we stopped and lupton he had to again that i guess my and then i thought and then we cannot let it go and now i'm feeling like a need to address that
and i heard what you said i think to charlie which was very helpful of just on you know asking if it's okay to talk about it you know just the i can negotiate bad but my question is
the joy that comes with that body thought for love and compassion i mean i find it
when i'm really with them like my son's peanuts the most painful and ethel is the joy the intimacy is that the joy of really been with
being interconnected of just having that i'm intimacy you put your intimacy is basically a synonym for great compassion
there's a surprise me there's some kinds of compassion which really are not intimate but great compassion is intimacy with beings and intimacy it could say is an unsurpassed joy
but intimacy also means
it's a suffering
because because he's suffering
you're suffering
that's intimacy
years because he's suffering and you love him you can cure your suffering i you're you're not suffering because you hate his suffering
you're not suffering because you hate his suffering
if you hate his suffering that's mundane suffer
bodhi sought for suffering is
you're suffering because you love you
or body sought for intimacy is your suffering because your intimate with him
so please enjoy this
unsurpassed joy
of suffering because you love you
and he's gonna continue to suffer from now on as
and you're gonna continue to be compassionate and you're going to continue to feel pain because you because you're intimate with him and that's the buddhists and that's where the bodhisattvas sustained sustaining joyous
the suffering and the joy or the fame in a sense
either together or bogey sought for suffering enjoy our the same thank you
you're welcome

thank you great assembly
may our intention equally extend to every being and place where the true murder buddha's way and may we together with all beings realize unsurpassed awakening for the welfare of this way
gangs are numberless we vow to save them
afflictions are inexhaustible we vow to cut through dharma gates are boundless we've out to enter them buddha ways unsurpassable we vow to become it
thank you make your everybody