We have an hour and a half for this class, so I would recommend that you come here early, if you can, and go into Zendo and sit for about half an hour before the class, if you can. Or if you eat dinner, don't eat too much and then go sit. I think it's good to sit before you have this class. I like, when I come to class and I hear you talking, I think it's really good that you have kind of a sangha and friends here, that's really good, but I think it's also good to get quiet before this class. Unfortunately, I don't think it works for you to stay after class for half an hour, because I could ask, maybe you could ask the the practice committee, how they feel about people going to sit afterwards if anybody wanted to. But then it gets late, you know, and stuff like that.

[01:01]

But I do a class in Berkeley, and we start the class with a half-an-hour sitting and end with a half-an-hour sitting. Then that makes a class two or two-and-a-half hours long. But it seems to be quite helpful. Okay, so in the tradition of the Buddhist Sangha, let's get to know each other. This is Mark. I couldn't decide where we should start. The people in this class have all kinds of different experience with this book. I couldn't tell exactly where to start, so I thought maybe it'd be good to start with case number 18.

[02:05]

Cynthia, could you sit up here, please, Cynthia, in mind? If I was completely blind, then it wouldn't do any good for you to come a little closer, but I can see a little bit. So if you're closer, I can see you better. All the better to see you, my dear. You have the chair there, Cynthia. This is Cynthia. Thank you. How many of you have studied this case thoroughly? Okay. So, not too many of you, so it's maybe okay to study it. The reason why I chose this one was because I feel like it's a good one to start with.

[03:18]

And this story goes like this. It has two parts, which I'd like you to memorize. OK? The first part is a story about the great Zen master, Zhaozhou. That's easy to say, isn't it? Say Zhaozhou. Zhaozhou. A monk came to him and said, does a dog have Buddha nature? And Zhao Zhou said, in this book, Zhao Zhou said, yes. And then the monk said, well, dog has Buddha nature, how come a dog comes into such a skin bag?

[04:28]

And Zhao Zhao said, because it knowingly and willingly transgresses. So could you say that story? Everybody got that story down there? Anybody not have that story down? This dog's body? a living dog. Of course, this is an analogy for how come it comes into a human body. So in one sense, there's a teaching, right? There's a sutra that says all living beings have or are the Buddha nature. Chinese people didn't like dogs very much during that period of history. So people have some doubt about whether human beings have the Buddha nature.

[05:33]

Some people do. But even those who might think that maybe human beings have it, they might think, no, but it doesn't probably reach into dogs, or there's some form that doesn't reach into, say, a dog. So if it has Buddha nature, how come it comes into dog's body or in the body or even why would he why would Buddha nature limit itself to this form why would it come into this form because it willingly and knowingly transgresses it is kind of transgression of Buddha nature in a sense to take a form because it's limitless and infinite and so why limit itself why would Buddha nature limit itself but it knowingly does so and willingly does so. We can discuss why, you know, why that's the case.

[06:40]

But for now, anyway, that's the story. So do you all have that story? Can you repeat that story? Can you say that story, Stephen? Okay, well, if you can't say it, then say it after me, okay? A monk asked Zhao Zhou. Does a dog have buddha nature? Jaojo said, yes. Or actually, Jaojo says, yes it has. Or it has. Whichever way you want. Which way do you want? Okay. Well, if it has buddha nature, or if it has, or if yes, how come it comes into this skin bag? Well, because it knowingly and willingly transgresses. Okay, now can you do it? Well, could you do it anyway?

[07:52]

Is it alright? You want to have a little break? Isabella, try it. Take a break. You ready, Isabella? No, no, just general. If you get too far off, I'll probably make some suggestion, but... A monk. A monk. A monk. Jow Jow. That's cute though, Choo Choo. Or not. Or not. Or not. Does a dog have Buddha nature or not? Or not, yeah. He gives them two choices. He says, does a dog have Buddha nature? or not. Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao...Jiao

[09:01]

because it transgresses. Transgress means like, you know, like to go against something, like it would be like violate, you know, like to go over a border that you shouldn't go over, to transgress. Because he knowingly, you know, in other words, consciously knowingly knowingly transgresses, and willingly transgresses. Okay? That's the reason. Can you say it now? I'll get a lot. Ask. Jarjo. Jarjo. The love I have for my nature. Got it.

[10:29]

So, anybody else not have it that wants to do it? Anybody that doesn't have it? Do you have it, Baron? Okay. So please memorize this part, okay? And then the next part is... Another monk says, same question, does the dog have Buddha nature or not? And Giaojo says, not, or no, or doesn't have, whichever you like. No is nice, it's the shortest. So yes and no are simpler, but you can also say doesn't have or ain't got none or whatever. No. Does a dog have the Buddha nature? Yes or no?

[11:33]

No. Well, if all living beings have the Buddha nature, how come a dog doesn't? And Zhao Zhao says, because it has active consciousness or karmic consciousness. This is case 18. The second part of this case is the first case of what's called the Mumon Khan. gateless gate. So I guess I'd like to just use that word. That word no. Also you can use the word yes too. Just as a word to start this class. Just have a point.

[12:38]

In this class, I'd like you to have a point. Everybody to have a point. You can choose whatever point you want, but you could use this point. No. All right? Now, I guess I'd like to say that I'd like you to concentrate on this point. or ask you if you can concentrate on this point. Somewhere in between asking you if you can, or asking if you are concentrated on this point, or asking you to be concentrated on this point. This is a four-week class. I'm just asking you to do this for four weeks. So what does Jiao Jiao mean by no?

[13:46]

What does he mean by no? Right. What does that mean? Does it mean the question is not good? No. Well, here's one thing I think it means for four weeks. It means settle into your experience. And the stories are the first sprouts of philosophy about the reason for settling into your experience.

[15:08]

But before we get into the stories, which I'd like you to memorize too, both as these stories are expressions coming out of this central point and also ways to get back into the central point. But basically I'd like you to take this central point and for four weeks, just four weeks, commit yourself to 24 hours a day Be settled in your experience. 24 hours a day, don't turn away from what's happening to you. To settle down into your pain. To settle down into your sadness. Anything else, anything that comes up from being with what's happening to you.

[16:12]

Any and that happens, just cut it, say no, and stay with where you are. And you can use this no as a word to remind you to not run away. Also, if you try to get a hold, settling with your experience does not mean to get a hold of your experience or try to control it. Don't grab your pain. Don't grab your sadness. Don't talk about your pain or talk about your sadness. If possible, don't say anything about what's happening to you. Just settle with it. Don't talk yourself into it. Don't tell yourself it's a good thing. Don't do any of that. As much as possible, radically just use this one point. When you're walking, when you're sitting, when you're standing, when you're lying down, try to use this point all the time for four weeks.

[17:25]

Starting now. When you're talking particularly, Try to stay with the experience of talking. Listen to yourself talk while you're talking. Feel your body resonate with your breath as you speak. And don't get behind or ahead of feeling yourself speak. If you can do this, if you can give yourself to this, we can really understand this story and all the other stories. We can then apply this concentration to. That's why I'd like you to start by sitting the class by starting. But I hope you don't.

[18:30]

I hope you're already sitting all day before this class starts. And I want to talk in this class, and I want you to tell me and tell us where you're at. I want you to learn how to express yourself while you're doing this practice. I don't want you just to be able to do this when you're quiet. I want you to demonstrate your concentration practice in action in this class around whatever, but particularly around this case. I'd like you to be able to stay right with the feelings of being intimidated and just be able to settle with that and be completely settled in that feeling and feel our support to feel intimidated or whatever. And I think you may have some questions about how to do this practice tonight and in succeeding nights.

[19:57]

This is kind of like a basic focus or a basic pivot to concentrate on during this whole class. You may have questions about how to do this or what this instruction means, and you can ask questions about it in class or between classes, that's fine. But when you ask questions, try to do the practice as you understand it while you're asking the question, if possible. And I ask your permission now that while you're talking in this class and while you're asking questions about how to do this practice that I'd be allowed to bring you back to the practice and ask you to test to see if you're doing the practice while you're talking. And this, I can imagine, you might not be up for because this is going to put a lot of focus on you. That, you know, if you speak, there's going to be a lot of focus.

[21:02]

But you can do it to me, too. You can ask me if I'm doing the practice. And if I'm not, I hope I'll tell you the truth. I'm not saying I'm going to do it all the time, but if I... Sometimes I might wonder if you're doing a practice while you're talking, so I may want to ask you if you're present with yourself as you're speaking. And your language may reveal to me or to others that you're getting away from yourself, and that is an opportunity to be brought back to yourself, which you might want to have help with, but might also be a little embarrassing. So if you don't want me to do that, I won't. And so maybe what I'll do, well, one possibility is I can ask you before I do it if it's okay if I do it in each case.

[22:09]

But some of you may not even want me to ask you that. But does anybody not want me to be this intimate with you in this class? Well, if you're afraid even to say that, you can write me a note. Let me know. And I'll leave you alone if you don't want me to really be kind to you and help you learn how to do this. I'll leave you alone. Maybe. So any questions about what I'm talking about so far? About the basic meditation of this no? Yes? No, no, mu is fine.

[23:13]

Yeah, you can say mu. Chinese in Chinese is wu. In Chinese is wu is yes or has and doesn't have. Wu is no. And yes is you. You and wo. Wu and you in Chinese. In Japanese it's mu and you. You means you got it. Mu means you don't got it. It's beautiful. Mu is a beautiful character. I like this. Yes. You look great. It's also sometimes meaning, meaning not meaning, meaning like a Taoist, not meaning.

[24:40]

It's not the character for Hemptiness. The character for Hemptiness is a neat character, too. I don't know. Like the body, the shoulders, the pelvis, the body. The days that this body, you know, that the form has no inherent existence is different from there isn't there. Or no. It doesn't mean no. So emptiness depends on a form. But this is a move here. So you see Chinese and Japanese is a move.

[25:42]

And some monks, some yogis, when they're meditating sort of under their breath, they say, as they're exhaling, they say, also go. Oh. Just to remind yourself, just to sort of not go away. Not go away from your experience. Just settle into your experience. It doesn't mean to push yourself into your experience either. Just be still and not run away. Don't dive into it. Don't turn away. Like it says in the Jewel Mirror Samadhi. Turning away, touching are both wrong. So this move is an initiation into the Jewel Mirror Samadhi. So I'd like you to have the Jewel Mirror Samadhi to study these koans.

[26:46]

The Jewel Mirror Awareness. Beverly? What I'm doing is I'm saying that we're... I'm not exactly attaching mu to anything. I'm just saying the meaning of mu is don't run away from what's happening. So whatever is happening, don't run away. That's the first import of the mu. There's further imports, but to get into those,

[27:51]

I want those further discussions to be based on you being present. So the first layer of this word is be with yourself. Then as you're with yourself, if you use this word to help you remember to be with yourself, then gradually this word will get more and more unified with you. So you may feel like the mu gets... gets associated or attached or unified with you. But first of all, it's basically, the instruction is saying, become unified. And whenever you feel like something's extraneous to you, let go of that and just be with yourself. But you could use this as basically whatever kind of concentration in your practice you're doing, it's about, you know, I shouldn't say this.

[28:57]

I was going to say any kind of concentration in practice you're doing is about being with your experience, but that's not necessarily so. You could concentrate on being spaced out. You can concentrate on thinking about something other than your direct experience. That would be possible. You could concentrate on being angry at somebody. You can concentrate about thinking of someone else as though they were not you. That's a possible concentration. But I'm recommending a concentration which is having a feeling that there's nothing external. That there's no other. So if you have a feeling of something other than yourself, drop it and just stay with your own experience. And So no means don't turn away from your own experience right now. It also means there is nothing other than you. Okay, now do you have further questions at this point?

[30:04]

You do? Go ahead. Yes. You could. You could also take red and have red be something to remind you to stay with your experience, yes. However, we don't use red the way we use have and not have. We don't say, does a dog read Buddha nature or not read Buddha nature. We don't use the word red as a categorical marker, except for colors. But we use have and not have, or existence and non-existence, we think in those terms. Like Beverly does exist or doesn't exist.

[31:06]

She is or is not. She's enlightened or she's not. So this word, you can use any word to remind you to settle, like you can use the word settle. But using the word Mu or no has further uses and also has the use that any other word that reminds you to concentrate would have. But you're right, you could use any word and you could also use no word to remind you to do this. But the nice thing about this word is it happens to be the word in the middle of this story. So this word reminds you how to settle and also will bring you into this story, which is about whether you're enlightened or not. And this word can be a place, other words could be this way too, but this is a word for you to watch where delusion and enlightenment dance.

[32:13]

where the presence or absence of enlightenment is considered, where the presence or absence of delusion is considered. But this isn't the only word you could use for that. However, emptiness, I think, would not be as good. Emptiness is not a word that you focus on. I have never heard anybody focusing on that word. If you focus on a form, you will realize emptiness. Once you realize emptiness, then, if you focus on emptiness, you realize form. But most people already realize form. In other words, they're attached to it, they think it's real. If you watch the way you believe in the reality of form thoroughly, you will realize emptiness. That's another possible meditation, and it's basically included in this one because whatever experience you have is a form, or a feeling, you know, or an impulse, a mental formation, or a perception, or a kind of consciousness.

[33:33]

So the mu, will help you stay with what's happening and if you stay with what's happening you'll realize the emptiness of what you're experiencing whereas if you talk about emptiness of what you're experiencing right away you're skipping to the conclusion of your meditation rather than dealing with the ground of your meditation Mu is telling you stay where you are without grabbing it because it's not something to be grabbed, and don't run away from it. Any other questions? Parent? Yes. Great.

[34:40]

That's right. Can you hear him? So what is the import of what you're saying? Could you condense it a little bit? You're puzzled by the directness of my instruction.

[35:58]

Could you tell me more about your puzzlement? And what is your conception? Okay, so stop there. You just said, I think I heard you say something like, to stay in the present means to stay with yes and no. Is that what you said? Okay, so I'm saying the word no, forget about the word no then, the word mu means to stay with the present where there's yes and no. where there is, okay? If you live in the present and there's yes and no there, okay? So, yes and no, until I say so, do not necessarily mean stay with the present yes and no, where there's yes and no.

[37:11]

So I'm basically saying, before I said mu, I said stay with your experience. Settle with your experience, okay? I'm just saying you might want to use this word in this story has a reminder to do that. But you could also use, as Beverly pointed out, you could also use yes to stay with the present where there's yes and no. So if you don't want to use yes or no, you could also use there isn't any. You can use whatever you want. You can also use nothing. I'm just saying, please settle with your experience. And if you don't want to use a word to help you do it, Fine. Then don't use Mu to help you do it. All right? Okay? In that case, then, I would say, once you're settled, then I'll give you Mu, and I won't be giving you Mu to help you stay in the present. I will give you Mu to study.

[38:12]

Okay? So now you're in the present, you're completely settled in the present, then I'm going to ask you, there's a yes in the present and a no in the present? Are there? Okay? Let's look at no first. And then we'll look at yes. Okay, but if you're not settled yet and you don't want to use no, then don't. Then just settle. And when you're settled, let me know. Well, even if you don't, let me know. In this class, I'm going to bring up this word move. I'm going to bring this up as something for you to deal with. because I want to put something out there for us to work with so I can see what you do with it, and so you can see what you do with it. And you could use the thing that helps you settle to be the same thing that we're going to study. Like the breath, you know, you can use the breath to help you settle, and then you can use the breath to be what we study. So we can concentrate by means of the breath, and then I can ask you once you're concentrated, what is the breath?

[39:16]

Or you can use the breath to concentrate, and I can ask you, What is Buddha, or who are you, instead? But we can also use the topic that you use to concentrate as the topic which you will examine to see what it is. Both are okay. Is that okay? Following that? Okay. So I give you the... plenty of space. As you know, you have plenty of space. For example, you know that you don't have to do anything what I just suggested. You can spend the whole week and never pay any attention to what you're experiencing. However, I'm asking you to do that. And I'm also telling you that I will try to do this too. So I will be making the same effort all day long with you. And I will also forget sometimes So if you forget, I'm with you in your forgetfulness, too. But basically, I'm asking you to do this, and I really think it would be good for everybody if you would do it.

[40:22]

I won't get into yet how bad it would be if you don't. Later. With the, what do you call it? Fire and brimstone later. Maybe not later. What's the week of paying attention? Pardon? What do you mean, say, you could not do any of this and have a week where you're paying no attention to what you're expecting? What would that be like? Yeah. Do you want to dial that in? Well, I'm just curious. Maybe I've missed something. Can we do that? I mean, there's a channel available. I think some people have managed to get in that channel that spend one week Totally not being in their experience. Some people, what they do is, for example, they sit in a chair, they have well-padded bodies, and they sit in a chair and they eat constantly watching TV.

[41:27]

There may be no time in the whole week when they stop and see how they feel. They may never notice how they feel the whole week. They're never aware of any sadness or any pain the whole week. Never once during the week did it occur to them, I am in pain. My heart hurts. My heart hurts. I have a dead feeling here. They don't think that the whole week. But if you walk into the room and you turn the TV off and you ask them how they felt, and they didn't tell you to leave, and you kept asking them, they might break into tears in not too long when they started to check out how they felt. So I'm asking you, not necessarily break into tears, but I'm asking you to go in here and feel the pain. There is pain here. It is basically constant. And I'm asking you to settle into your pain and sadness and grief and shame and all your pleasure, too. But I know that some of you in this world, and I don't know if I've ever been able to do it for a week, but I know people are capable to check out for long periods of time with the aid of, you know, some of the things that come to us in affluent society.

[42:45]

Now some people... who live in poverty don't spend... Fortunately, they're lucky they can't spend a week without feeling pain. So they are present in their body. But we have these special situations now where people can like... I know a great person who couldn't feel his feet for the last several years of his life. He did not feel the ground with his feet. Some people cannot tell whether they're inhaling or exhaling, who are on decent health. It is possible to be spaced out and to not be in touch with your experience. We have learned how to do that. It is possible to talk to somebody and not notice what you're saying to them. It is possible to speak to someone and not hear the tone of your voice. And when they start crying, to not know why they started crying. And not even ask them why they started crying. And they're crying because you're yelling at them and you didn't even notice that you were yelling at them. Now, if you're yelling at somebody and you notice it, I'm not saying you should stop yelling.

[43:48]

I'm saying just notice what it feels like to yell at somebody and see if that's really, see what that feels like. For me, the issue in there is for looking at my stage managing my experience as opposed to my not having, not trying not to have experience. Stage managing is one of the ways to turn away from your experience. That's one of the ways to turn away from your experience. I was talking to someone a little while ago, and she was in a lot of pain. And I asked her what she does in that situation, and she reached for her purse to get a book that she reads when she was that way. And I said, but could you just stop for a second here? And without reaching for the book, how would you deal with this?

[44:51]

Now, it's okay to reach for a book which reminds you to come back to pay attention to your pain. Fine. But what if somebody takes your book away? It's better, I think, more practical to just stay here and not reach for any aids. You can also reach for aid and stay with your reaching. I personally can tell the difference in myself between being with my pain and being with what I'm saying and just being carried away by my karma. They're really different worlds. One I trust completely, the other I'm just, no, it doesn't work. And it's basically dangerous and harmful to myself and others, and basically I'm missing my life. And I spend a lot of time missing my life like that. And I'm just kind of like saying, would you please help me not miss my life?

[45:56]

And if you all do this, I'm going to feel more encouragement to not waste my life too. And if I ask you to do this, maybe you will do it. And that will help me and it will help all your friends, and then we can study these cases in some place other than our head. And this case I'm choosing just happens to be based on getting down into your body and mind for starters, and then let's discuss the subtle philosophy that is very simply put forth in these few lines. In this case, the story can be a resource for you, for your life, and a basis upon which you can study a lot of other Zen stories. But since we don't have a lot of time in this class, I feel we have to get right down to practical application of mindfulness and bodhisattva vows

[47:00]

and opening up to our own pain and sadness and joys and blah, blah, blah, right away. And we can help each other check out whether we're doing this work. I have an experience, sometimes I'm upset about something in my life. Yes. Right. And then I'll start cooking dinner or something. Yeah. Next thing I know, I'm making a cheerful. Yeah. And I go, wait a minute, am I unhappy or am I happy? Yeah. I get confused. Uh-huh. Five minutes ago, I was like really sad. Yeah. You know, next thing I know, I just stopped cooking and I'm not thinking about it anymore. All of a sudden, I'm like cheerful. Yeah. So, that's fine. Yeah. That's fine. Am I happy or am I unhappy? I actually don't know. I have to reach a point where at that moment I stop and say, wait a minute.

[48:03]

When you're happy, you know, when you're happy, you're happy. What? You really are. Like right now, you really are happy. Right. And when you're sad, you actually are sad. That's all there is to have sadness, is that when you're sad, that's it. You're sad when you're sad. All I'm saying is that when you're sad, I'd like you, for this four weeks, to be there and be sad. And if you want to get into trying to figure out whether that's so or not, I would say wait a little while before you do that. First of all, settle into and become really, you know, thoroughly intimate with your sadness as a kind of kind of like price of admission to the question, am I really sad? What is sadness anyway? And the same thing if you start cooking, what is cooking? What is the experience of cooking? What is the smell? Be present with the smell of the garlic.

[49:03]

Be present with the feeling of your knives. I have a big problem with vacuuming, one of my most difficult practices. And if I say this enough, I'll probably eventually learn how to vacuum. Vacuum, I often vacuum, I usually vacuum when the rug's dirty. I don't just like get the vacuum cleaner off, start cleaning a clean rug, or just turn it on. I should probably do that just to sort of get into it, like, just like, no, I'll probably do that tomorrow. I'll just stand, I'll put the vacuum in one place, turn it on, just stand there with the vacuum. But I tend to get into cleaning the rug, and I lean into the vacuuming, and I forget about my body. And I get into cleaning the rug and looking at picking up those things. I get leaning. It's built for leaning. So I actually lose track of my body, which is doing the vacuuming, and I get into this vacuuming thing. So what I would like to do myself, and you can ask me next week how I did, I would like to stay here when I'm vacuuming, when I'm doing this activity which tends to draw me forward

[50:14]

you know, and away from my body, just by the very physicality of it, it seems to be going someplace. I would like to try to stay present with myself while I'm back, you know. It's very hard for me. And I think each of us has certain activities we do which draw us away from our, you know, which draw us leaning backwards or forward from what we're doing. And I'm talking about being upright, okay, in... Huh? What? Not canister. Eric. Cassandra? Well, first of all, I think it might have been the same monk.

[51:45]

It's one possibility at different times. And I think this monk, in both cases, this monk was a knowledgeable monk who knew the teaching that all sentient beings have included in nature. That's in the background of both of these questions, I feel. They both act like they know that. So they're both coming from pretty much the same place. So whichever one he chose was maybe, I assume he chose it to balance the monk's bias. If one monk was saying it kind of on the side of, okay, all sentient beings have the Buddha nature, so how come a dog? Then he gave one answer, yes. Yes. If he's leaning over to the other side, all sentient beings have the Buddha nature, so shouldn't it be in a dog? Those are two kind of leanings. The middle is very difficult to express.

[52:48]

And in both cases, the monks played out the leaning side. By what they said further, they played out those inclinations, which I assume that they were demonstrating in the way they were talking, that they were leaning to one side or the other. Usually we lean towards existence or non-existence of something, like we either have Buddha-nature or we don't. But our real relationship with Buddha-nature is not dualistic. We don't have it or not have it. And so they say in the story, obviously by answering in both ways, he didn't mean either one of those things. He didn't mean that dogs do or do not have Buddha-nature. We don't have or not have Buddha-nature. It's not the kind of thing. It's not a thing we possess. We are by nature Buddha-nature. We are Buddha-nature. And when we settle into our suffering completely, we realize Buddha nature. If we have suffering, we are really still completely Buddha.

[53:54]

However, if we don't settle, we don't realize it. Sure. What's a valuable experience? No, no, that's not what I mean. That's not what I mean. That's what I like. I want to be vacuuming. But I'm not into being vacuuming. I'm into getting it done. I'm into getting the rug cleaned. That's what I mean. That's what I don't like. I want to be there vacuuming. That's what I want to do. I want to step back and vacuum rather than being into accomplishing the clean rug.

[54:56]

That's what I tend to do. So yeah, Mu means just vacuum when you're vacuuming. It means don't do anything else. That's what it means. That's the way I would interpret it. But I lean forward. In my heart, my heart's like the head of my heart. I want to bring my heart back into my body and vacuum. In other words, when I vacuum ahead of myself, I get away from my suffering. So I actually have a good time running away from my suffering when I'm vacuumed. But I feel bad about running away from my suffering too. So I'd like to stay with my suffering and become free of my suffering rather than run away from my suffering and then feel guilty and like I'm wasting my time.

[55:58]

I usually feel regretful and ashamed when I spend time away from myself, away from my poor suffering human nature. But when I stay with myself, I almost always feel rewarded and liberated. Do you want to watch a movie? Depends on how I watch it. Watch the movie? Yeah. What's the way? Or maybe we should go to a movie. Let's go to a movie. We can have one of these classes and go to a movie. I like all movies. Yes? I've tried that. Okay, yeah.

[57:04]

Yeah. Yeah. I haven't done it a second time. I just generally try to do it as fast as I can. But that's okay. If I would be upright as I'm doing that, I have no problem with that. But I think you can go as fast as you can without trying to get the job done. More concentrated on speed rather than cleaning the room. That would be lots of fun. Yeah. And certain people complain when I do it that way. but I can still be upright or not upright when I'm doing it that way. And so some people do things very slowly to get into mindfulness. That's the way some people interpret mindfulness practices, do it really slowly to get into it. Other people do it really fast to get into it. Those are both okay, but they're both just kind of like warm-ups to the actual practice. which are fine, but ultimately... Ultimately, Buddhist practice does not use anything.

[58:14]

It just uses what's happening. It doesn't have any extraneous things, because Buddha doesn't need to use anything to be Buddha. You don't need to use anything to be yourself. You're fully equipped. So in that way, you don't need to do any techniques to be present. However, when you do things, they can turn into techniques and then they become separate from you and then you're two pieces. My dissatisfaction is only with my not being present with my vacuum. Otherwise, basically, and that's another thing, I'm usually very happy when I'm vacuuming. I feel blessed for the opportunity of vacuuming. I have a very nice thing to vacuum. Nice house to vacuum in. And usually when I'm vacuuming, nobody's like jumping in my back. And I have a nice vacuum cleaner. So it's basically a happy situation for me, like you're cooking. So here I am having a nice chance to cook or vacuum, and I waste it.

[59:22]

You know? I waste it. I waste a great opportunity. I'm happy while I'm wasting it, but then, you know, I blow my happiness by my laziness. Victoria? Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. Actually, Buddha sent those machines to the world to test the highest levels of meditation. It's very difficult. Thank you. We got an excited guy back there. I also lawnmower. I do the same thing with the lawnmower. Oh, my God, I love it. I love the lawnmower. Cars like Suzuki Roshi. He never drove.

[60:25]

He made me drive. I said, how come you don't drive? You said it's too dualistic. He couldn't handle it, you know? His practice would be shot. So he shot my practice, and he sat there, you know, perfectly unified. Huh? I never saw him vacuum, but we did have a vacuum cleaner back at SoCoG. He did play, but he did play go, yes? Try to play chess, a non-dualistic video. I did that one time pretty well. I played with Gregory Bateson, and I didn't try to win. I just tried to be beautiful. Great. The buffer is it?

[61:25]

The buffer. Yeah, right. It doesn't take you forward. Right. Any other? So I'm asking you to do this practice and I'm asking you to memorize the story. And we can unfold the story gradually, see where it goes and what it implies. There's a tremendous amount of teaching in these two little stories about Buddha and how Buddha had to come into the world and all that. All the vows of compassion and so on are in this story. But I don't want this to be intellectual.

[62:27]

I want you people to be in harness to really be Zen monks in this class, not pedestrians. You can be pedestrians, but be in a harness. Be pulling the universal vehicle behind you. And you know, it's not easy to pull the universal vehicle, but all you've got to do to pull it is to be in your own body, and you'll pull it. Ken? I'd like to wander. Yeah? No. That's a week. Fine. No. Yeah. So what I'm asking you to do is keep up with yourself when you go wandering. Not leave yourself behind or get ahead of yourself.

[63:32]

You can wander wherever you want, but keep up with yourself. Don't get ahead of where you're wandering. Don't get behind of where you're wandering. But you can go wherever you want, but you be there with yourself as you go. That's what I'm asking you to do. And if you wander over here and you're suffering, I'd like you to be there with that person that you are there and not be back And that's not easy. I know it's not easy. I didn't say it was easy. I'm asking you to do a hard thing. But I'm asking you to do something you can do. It is possible. This is a possible thing. I'm not asking you to do something impossible. Yes, Wendy? Yes. Yeah.

[64:51]

Mm hmm. Yeah. Or I could even say, instead of saying experience your suffering, I could say, suffer your experience. Suffer your pleasure. Undergo your pleasure. Suffer your pleasure. Suffer your joy. Suffer your experience of light and dark. And you suffer that way. I don't want you to direct yourself more toward your suffering than toward your joy. I want you to suffer all your experience as it comes. That's what I'd like you to do. That's what I have to do Peter? No. It only requires that you're aware of your body when you're aware of your body. When you're aware of mental experiences, then you shouldn't be aware of your body, you should be aware of your mental experience.

[65:54]

When you're thinking of no, then that's what you think of. But you do have physical experiences. When Henry's cooking, he touches the knife, he feels the knife. I want him to be there feeling the knife. When I'm doing the vacuuming, I want to be feeling the vacuum cleaner and feeling my posture at that time that I feel it. But then sometimes I think of something, and at that time I'm not having a physical sensation, so I want to be aware of it. mental image I have at that time. Of yourself having the experience? No, not necessarily, but you sometimes are. I'm just saying, be with what's happening, that's all. I'm not directing you towards any type of experience other than what's happening. I'm talking about being with what is. If you're totally absorbed in anything, you can still be awake at that time.

[67:17]

You can be totally absorbed in something and still be ahead of it or behind it. We are always capable of being ahead or behind our experience, wherever it is. I think he brought up the movies because he thought maybe you're always unmindful in the movies. So, I would say, no matter what the experience is, you can be unmindful. But also, no matter what the experience is, you can be mindful. Some experiences are more difficult to be mindful than others, Some experiences are easier to be mindful than others. Like most people sort of don't get spaced out when they're leaning over the edge of a railing on a tall building. Most people sort of like feel their body at that time, you know, and they don't start thinking, you know, gee, I wonder what I'm going to get on my algebra test.

[68:28]

You know what I mean? But even then you can be a little bit ahead of where you are, a little bit behind of where you are. You can be a little bit into, I wonder what would happen if I fell, or I wonder what would happen if I got out of here. Rather than just feel what it's like to hang over the edge of the railing. Does that make sense? It looks like it doesn't. No way. Well, Keith, your questions, everyone can use your questions, so... Well, let's just take... Can I stop you for a second? Are you right now aware of where you are? And do you feel yourself in the chair? Okay, so what's your problem? From here. Why not? Okay. Okay. So I'm asking you for four weeks to try to be like you are right now in the movie theater. And also, as you approach the movie theater,

[69:32]

Now, it may be that you won't get into the movie theater if you're with yourself as you approach it. You might stop and say, now, what is the point of this? So you might not wind up in the movies if you do this, if you do the practice on the way to the movies. It might stop you. But... If you don't do this, you might be able to walk into various many movies and also watch various TV shows. And then once you get into the situation, having not thought, been present when you got there, then of course it's easy to continue not being present and it's hard to recover. Once you enter a vortex of mindlessness, then sometimes it's very difficult to turn around until it just ejects you and tries to get more money out of you later. They want to watch this show again, well go out and come back in. So, maybe the easiest way to get into the movie and do the practice would be to do it before you get to the movie theater.

[70:44]

Do this also when you buy ice cream cones. Try to do it on the way to the place. Enjoy yourself on the way to the store, on the way to the movie theater, and then see what happens. What do you do if you can do it up to the door? Maybe just for the next four weeks, you could do that. Try to see, make the price of admission to the movie theater that you're mindful up until you buy the ticket. And if you lose your mindfulness as you approach the ticket, then don't go to the movie. Just for four weeks. Theory? Renunciation? What I'm asking you to do is practice renunciation. I'm asking you to renounce everything but being present. But I'm also saying that I trust what you will do if you are present.

[71:45]

I think you'll do good things from that present place. I usually do when I'm present. Most of the stupid things I do, I'm not present. Oh, anxiety. Anxiety is a natural state of human beings. You know what anxiety is? Do you? Are you anxious now? Anxiety is a natural thing for human beings. Our founder, Shakyamuni Buddha, was an anxious fellow. He was anxious. He was really anxious, and he was totally settled in his anxiety. and he got big-time liberated from his anxiety.

[72:51]

But he got liberated from anxiety. He didn't skip over it or around it or get exempt from it. He was anxious, and he had a lot of reasons for it, because he was powerful. Powerful people are anxious, and human beings are powerful. Therefore, we're anxious. I was talking to someone one time about anxiety, and he said something about anxiety is when you try to make the unknown familiar. Human beings try to make the unknown familiar. Like another person is actually, you'll never know who anybody is, we try to make them familiar. Then we get anxious, because we've made a mystery into a, what is, a house bed. So then we get nervous because we know this is not really a house bed. We know at any minute this house bed is going to start acting beyond the bonds that they've agreed to.

[73:54]

How long is this going to go on? Any minute the heart's going to burst open and we're going to have some big-time unexpected activity. So, anxiety? Who asked about that? You? Anxiety? So for four weeks I'd like you to settle in your anxiety. And if you don't have any anxiety, I say, I say, old chap, I say something like you're in denial. You're spaced out if you don't have any anxiety. You should be able to get in touch with some anxiety. If you are in touch with it, good. And if you're in touch with it a good share of the day, good. That's like Buddha. Buddha was anxious a lot. But Buddha, like you, had the capacity to completely absorb herself in that anxiety and become completely liberated from it.

[75:05]

That's about anxiety. That's part of what I'd like you to settle into on the way to the movie theater. And if you can settle into it all the way, then you can go in the movie theater and space out if you want to. but you probably won't go in except to politically correct movies. Like, I don't know, which ones are those? Suzuki Roshi's Sandokai lectures? They'll get all worn out this month. Hey, there's a movie I heard about that maybe would satisfy this requirement. It's called, Why Did Bodhidharma Conquer in the West? So could somebody get that for this class? It's in video, I heard. Yeah, and I heard it's... Huh? Oh, sorry. Anyway, and then we could show that movie here as one of our classes, a kind of graduation class, and then everybody that would come to the movie would say whether they had been mindful all the way to the movie.

[76:12]

If they hadn't, they'd have to go home. Yeah. Or also, if people came and were unmindful, they could walk around the block mindfully and we'd let them in. And then when they got here, we'd stop the movie and go back to the beginning. But would someone find that movie, get that cassette for us? Thank you. Well, it's time to stop and go home. And if you have questions about how to do the practice, this is Zen practice I've been talking about. This is how to be concentrated and present, and then use that presence as a basis for studying stories about how to be present. Then we can enter into the dynamic.

[77:14]

This story will open up into more dynamic meditation, but we have to be grounded first, because if we get into the dynamic before we're grounded, it's just too up in the head. Right? So, let's do this basic work, and then we can get into the... stir things up a little bit. So, everybody got that story? If you don't, Do you know where to get it? Anybody not have access to that story? Huh? Well, would somebody help her get that story? Would somebody write, give her a copy? Here, you can copy it. Here, you can copy it down. After class, come up and copy the story down here. Anybody on the paper? You can copy the story down. So get the story, but I just want you to read the story now.

[78:15]

I don't want you to read the commentary on the story. Just the story. If you want to read the commentary, it's okay, but I'm not asking you to do that. Just the story for now. Okay? Memorize it. Work on this basic practice, and then next week we'll have another class. And I'll come even if you don't do your homework. I'll also come if I don't do it. And you can ask me how I did with vacuuming. I'll vacuum tomorrow. Ready? May our intention

[78:58]

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