No Abode Dharma Talk - July 31st, 2021

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A virtual Dharma talk by Tenshin Roshi for an online gathering of the No Abode community

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we have haven't
a series of meetings
through the young
the venue called the yoga when and we've been discussing
we've been meditating in contemplating and discussing
great compassion and and many forms of compassion
do i just saw a new person did i see june joined did she welcomed june
and his jacket welcome jack
so we've been talking about compassion and own in particular towards the end of the last session
which talking i was talking about the difference the relationship between
loving kindness
and compassion
we can also say great loving kindness and great compassion
so i
i would start by saying that
there can be bought my car
loving kindness and compassion that is not yet completely what's the word
completely intimate
and that kind of loving kindness and compassion are very important we we have them in the world and they're wonderful
and loving kindness in that form is basically to wish
yourself and others
an ease
and lightness
and freedom from anxiety and pain wishing wishing wish you well yourself and others
and that practice is
when we get
mature in that practiced it is a great joy
and then there's a compassion which we've also spoken about of having different types but again the immature compassion
it's a compassion with has objects and i would say the immature loving kindness is also a loving kindness which has objects where we wish people well where we wish beings well but we still see them as objects
and in compassion that that has compassion for suffering beings and sees them as objects this is what we might call sentimental compassion
great loving kindness and great compassion is to wish others well and to practice compassion with them
where there are no objects we practice loving kindness we wish well we wish all beings well we practice compassion we are intimate with all suffering beings but we are free of seeing them as separate we are can
plete lee intimate with those we wish well
and those with whom we are intimately practicing together in the world of suffering
and one of the issues that came up again is there is a difference between wishing people well

and wanting them to be different
soon as a difference between being compassionate toward suffering beings
and wishing they weren't the suffering beings they are

ah just the other day someone said to me that they came to practice zen to reduce suffering
and i think that the part of the practice or the exercise or the skills of reducing suffering are really wonderful and if i'm in great pain and some medical person gives me
help and i my pain is reduced
i feel grateful to them and grateful to their skill
loving kindness and compassion are not so much about reducing for me they're not about reducing
suffering they're not about reducing pain
there are about wishing people who are in pain wishing them well wishing them freedom
they are about practicing compassion towards being so are suffering
practicing compassion with beings who are trying to reduce their suffering
being with them and protecting them from suffering
protecting them from their wish
to reduce suffering
can be with them and protect them
to be their friend
to be their support to be their companion
to be their refuge
being this ways with suffering beings
this is what i mean by compassion
if they're suffering is reduced
we all might feel a joy
and here's the part which i i say very gently because it may be shocking
but although we feel joy when are suffering decreases or when the suffering of someone we love decreases
that kind of joy of a decrease in suffering is what we might call monday joy
practicing compassion with beings and suffering is not about reducing suffering it's about protecting beings who are suffering it's about liberating beings who are suffering
when we i feel compassion for beings who are suffering
even if we don't see them as objects
we've feel pain

and in that pain that we feel for those
whom we love
in that pain there is a joy which is not a monday enjoy
it is the joy of the buddha's
who are with us as we are and who are our friend as we are and our friends who are friend with our suffering as it is and they understand it as it is and they protect us while we're suffering
and they liberate us while we're suffering this kind of compassion protects and liberates it doesn't increase or decrease suffering this kind of compassion protects and liberates it doesn't reduce or increase some
there are things which seemed to reduce an increase suffering and the things that reduce it most of us would appreciate
and again
i feel a happiness or joy if my pain is decreased
but that is again mundane
happiness and that does not protect me from suffering and that does not liberate me from suffering
what liberate me from suffering is to feel joy not just in any old suffering but in a special suffering
the suffering of the bodhisattva which is a pain or suffering because of loving beings
and wishing them well

yesterday i had am very clear
experience of mundane ah happiness monday enjoy
i'm taking care of up
have an electric hot water pot
hot water kettle
and this hot water kettle stopped working
you could say it became broken
and i
i endeavored to repair
or we might say to fix the hot water kettle
and in in money and trying to do so i looked at the bottom of the catalan it had three screws holding the bottom on but they were very unusual scroll screws they weren't
they weren't what he called each other
pentagon's which are usually what allen wrenches fit into and they weren't phillips screws and they weren't regular screw heads the screw heads were not the the usual three types of female part than i'm used to
it had a rectangular head
and i went to the green gulch maintenance people and asked if the had a rectangular screwdriver and they didn't anyway we found something else and with great effort managed to get the screws out so i got the screws out and took the bottom off and looked at it and played with
cleans it up and
but i couldn't see anything wrong i just kept turning the switch which didn't work made the thing that was broken as a switch didn't work i kept working the switch back and forth back and forth and 'em anyway i couldn't see what the problem was and i didn't feel like i fixed it
but i thought well i'll just put it back together and see what happens so i put it back together
and the switched worked
and it was really young
a got a mundane joy came
from this experience of not only did it work but i fixed it so this is a mundane joy which i did experience and i don't mind saying so a little bit embarrassed but anyway
that's a monday enjoy
it does happen to us and it's fine
but there's another job which i am bringing up
which is that when we love things that are broken and sick
and we feel
pain because we love them and we feel compassion for them and we want them to be free
and we want to protect them and we want to be their friend
we feel pain
we feel pain in being friends with suffering beings and that pain is the pain of the buddha the pain of the body sartre and that pain is a another kind of joy
that pain doesn't go away when the pot breaks
that pain doesn't come when the part is fixed
that pain doesn't go away when your friend who you love
becomes healthy
that pray that pain comes because you love
it comes because you love people and if people who you love
are in pain or if they're happy either way
you feel pain in the suffering that they feel when they're happy and when they're in agony in both cases they are suffering and not hurt you
you may have questions about this later

so again i am
i do sometimes appreciate ah
he broken things being repaired
oh i'm some of you know i've about a month ago a little over a month ago are a great wave of pain came over my left knee and i could barely walk for several days and now i can walk on almost normally the pain has been reduced quite
a bit and i i as the pain went down
it was kind of money call it i felt some
i guess i felt happiness about the reduced pain but at the same time
i also missed in a way
not so much the great pain but how present i was with every step i took when the pain was really strong
that was a a benefit
that came with me being kind of forced we could say strongly encourage to pay attention with every step i took i was very mindful of every step for about a month i was so attentive
to my legs and feet it was wonderful now i'm still quite careful because i have to i still have to be careful otherwise the pain may come back
but the pain is reduced the pain has quieted down
i still can't walk downstairs without pain but on
my great joy is not
the joy of my reduced pain or fixing broken things
or even my dear friends having less pain
which i am happy about if you have less pain my great joy is the suffering i feel because i care for bearings
that is my great joy
and that keeps me going
in the ocean of suffering that keeps me from running away to the land of reduced pain why not to deal with people who are not whose pain is not been reduced
i came to zen center not to reduce pain i came to learn how to be with pain
stories of people who knew how to be with pain
in creative and liberating ways was what attracted me not stories about people who could touch someone and take away their pain
not that not i wasn't attracted to miracles of pain reduction or pain elimination i was attracted to miracles of being with
are my own and other people's suffering and i'm still attracted to that and this is what own
i call
body side for compassion
and even if i still see people as
i can still
be friends with their pain and be friends with my pain
i can still
be with them and work to protect them from pain
protect them with what from whatever pain they have and also i think for me there's a difference between reducing pain and healing it i can imagine that healing pain does not necessarily reduce it
and one of my favorite healers
is a
a person who exemplifies what we call the wounded healer
he was a crippled person named milton erickson and he was a wonderful healer
who help people be with their illness
d with their pain he was with his pain and he showed them how to be with their pain
so higher paying you a pain and if we can become good at being with our pain we can be with others and help them become good become good means be good friends with our pain be good friends with our pain and then be good friends with our pay
our own pain and other people's pain is going to keep coming to us and we had the opportunity to welcome it and embrace it and be with it and feel pain for it and feel the joy of that pain
so maybe that's enough and we could open up now for
feedback to
this teaching
an entire first offering years from justin
i read good morning justin
my question is you we're talking about
not trying to change someone or take away their pain and also talking about trying to liberate them from suffering
is a liberation from suffering offering the example of being with their pain without trying to change them in the and hope that they can be with their own pain without trying to change it
what maybe i when i i used the word hope seldom the word i would use his wishing i wish for them to be free and liberated
without it with accepting the way they are now
what do you see as the difference between hoping and wishing i think hope hoping the english word hope has some expectation at it
it's not just wishing is wishing together with with an expectation in that part
that part of the word i have a problem with because expectation is a little bit was disrespectful
and region
it's it's a danger in the compassion business so if we go if for practicing compassion with suffering beings expectation is kind of up a drain
you can work for people without expect if you have this joy of compassion you can work for people without expecting that they're gonna get better you can wish that they'll be free
and this joy can help you not get into expecting that they will
and if they don't the expectation isn't isn't a it is not having the expectation will protect you from being disappointed and giving up on them
so the awakened one looks at the world sees a lot of people are not yet buddha's but the buddha does not give up on people the border wants everyone to become buddha wishes that they will but doesn't expect that they will
and our wish is that
the person with whom were contemplated compassion
well also out the same which we hope that they will develop compassion and we don't expect that they will so if they don't we don't abandon them for being you know not very good students of compassion
and and they can feel if we if we expected of the neck and feel that that's not that's defiled compassion if we expected here i am coming to help you and i expect you to be better i expect you to feel free i expect you to be protected
i want to liberate but i don't expect it and you can feel that too if i don't you can feel you know if i don't listen to him and follow his instructions or if i don't get with the compassion program he still will stay with me i can i know he will but i'm in a test him just as make sure and i'm not going to get better just to see if if you'll stay with me if i keep being sick
and sure enough he stays with me even though i've been sick all these years he never left me but i had to keep testing him to make sure that he wouldn't leave me if i didn't get better
and he didn't so now finally i can accept

our next offering will be from angela

morning assembly
oh and good evening assembly i could additionally guess that those around the world
i i thought i heard you say protecting blows from pole yeah
from pain and suffering
and this mind
i noticed when i hear the word protecting em
i associated with
at eliminating are taking away
so can you speak yeah it's not protecting from beings is not eliminating the suffering yes like for example somebody has cancer
you can put you to at the wait for them to be healed of cat and to for the cancer to be in remission you can practice compassion for them now while they have compassion rather have cancer you can protect them from the suffering of cancer while they have it
mainly you know the first thing that comes to mind is practicing the power meters
sooner you start with welcoming this condition to skillness you practice being careful of it being tender with it being respectful of it and you practice patients with patients protects us from suffering but patient does not eliminate suffering
it is if you take away the suffering there's no computers no patience
patience is protects us from widths from know protects us with suffering
protects us in suffering just as generosity protects us in suffering and being ethnically discipline and careful being honest
and and
gentle and careful protects us in suffering
and it also in addition to protecting us it's being friendly with the suffering being friendly with suffering protects us from suffering so if i wished to protect others who are suffering i want to practice friendliness towards them in their suffering so that they can learn
learn to be friendly with their suffer if they can be friendly with or something they will be protected in their suffering
and this friendship will eventually
open the doors of liberation
so the first i protect them
by doing these practices and letting them learn to do these practices and then these practices lead deliberation so it is protecting and liberating it's not eliminating suffering and all along hopefully i feel joy because it's painful for me to see them suffer
i know this did this pain
as a joy and that joy can take me in to hell
and out
you're welcome
next offering i will be from patrick
bad question i have the question i have a is about the joy yes is that a recognize a recognizable joy is that a joy that can be how would you how do you identify that joy how do you well it is a bodily is there any bodily experience
of it is there were how is that yeah how does it manifest because to thank you for your question
i'm see you said something like a no one in one your questions was is it recognizable
i would say you could recognize it it is possible to recognize however
the recognition of it is not it
so if you it's like god and a what it's like your blood blood sugar level it is physical it's a physical joy and it makes it possible for you to walk into hell to help people to end you know joyfully not cut like all i asked one hell again to help
you joyfully entered but you don't necessarily think on my god i'm joyful about entering
you enter joyfully and you might recognize it and somebody else might recognize it and somebody might say pattern looks like he's actually happy to go help those people
but you might not notice that you're in that happiness but it would sustain you
so again the recognition the recognition that you're a human is not being a human you don't have to recognize your a human to be a human you ought to recognize that your body sought for to be a bodhisattva but you could but recognizing that your body sought for is not the same as being a bodhisattva and this
joy can can be recognized but but you don't need to recognize it if you've got the proper blood sugar level you don't have to need to recognize you haven't you got it you can go to work if you got this joy it's the stage you in this
this work of wading through the ocean of suffering of all beings is sustains you and it's it completely fills it fills your it fills your body
it fills your mind it lifts you up and care of it carries you through
the great work
as you maybe you've heard the expression the boat of compassion is not road over pure or smooth water it's on my rock sioux found iraq as you say you've heard and this this joy makes it so you can row you know put your whole body into the rowing
like those olympic rowers you know you're really get into rowing this boat but you don't need to so you think why i got a lot of energy you your work and roland a boat much you get up and say hey i was up really working here this is where to camelot a joy you may or may not think that
but but but i might notice it i might say look at that guy work at them throwing that he's doing it's amazing yeah but you may be to into it to be noted to recognize that you're into it like again those those rowers in the olympics i don't think they're thinking why of lot of energy
they're just like
their whole bodies doing it they're not they are judging themselves and they know from experience that's a waste of energy
to be recognizing that there you know so i would say it can be recognized but the joy is not the recognition that recognition is optional
so so so what what comes up as i'm as i'm listening to talk and i'm hearing hearing myself in this conversation ah
the joys in a sense simultaneously with the pain and and the a deep the be with the suffering though there are those are simultaneous they're not they're not separate and in my in my what i noticed in my own experience to whatever extent i've actually ah
ah been fortunate enough to manifest ah this or the the pain the pain and suffering can be overwhelming and that's why i'm asking about the joy because and and so within that overwhelm them even if i'm if i'm invested if i'm fully and all
oh heartedly with
if it will be with being with a myself with another
i could you i'm trust that is the joy itself that's what i'm hearing you say yeah and if if the name of the games is called overwhelming misery
and this is the joy you want to have because otherwise you'll run away yeah with this joy we can be in overwhelming suffering
somebody hester
wyoming area
this joy of makes it possible to enter their yeah now i wouldn't rate it's a razor's edge like i can feel how yeah it's a razor's edge yeah
thank you

our next offering is from tracy

since our class on tuesday and today
someone who's very very close to me asked that i joined her and an intervention
in another city for a member from family
it was a horrible experience for everybody then it went bad
i am
and then
i did i i did have in my head from time to time remembering that the point was not to rub leave the suffering which was all around in every person in the room and i couldn't
tune into that sporadically and in myself and ah
but i guess it feels so abstract on a gotten back and class and tuesday it felt like all that's really interesting and today is really interesting a kind of in a moment
it's m
so excruciating and and i do share patrick's question i did share it and and okay felt the blood sugar up that i was the and i was of use and i was have used to my friend and i will be for the rest of this long journey but i guess maybe that that's joy
i mean certainly not what i ever thought joy was that feeling and
yeah i am so i guess i'm
letting you know how much i appreciate the timeliness exactly in this moment of this teaching and i am an paying so much attention and after spending a day in hell
yeah and you said it's not what i thought joy was
this is not what i thought joy was
i thought i was something else but this joy is the joy that lifts you up
so you can actually go into terrible situations
other people may be going to terrible situations to
but are they going from this joy
are they going to to be friends with the situation

and if after this terrible thing happens you feel like
well i'll do that again rather than well i'll never do that again
so with this joy you can say yet well i'll do that again i'll do it again i'll keep visiting this person even though the in the keeping sick or keep visiting them no matter how long they're sick or and something sustaining me to want to be willing to do that
and that's not what i thought joy was
what would i thought happiness was but now i have a new happiness which is the happiness of i will i will continue
i hope i will go into all kinds of terrible situations that will come to me with my own body dying with other people's bodies dying with people with people who love each other fighting each other i will i will be friends
to those situations because it's do something in me that says i will go here and i will be friends with that situation i will be a refuge in a terror
and this is not what i thought happiness was this is not the happiness of
a fixing the disease the disease going away
different different happiness
this is the happiness sustains
protecting beings
this is a happiness which doesn't go away when beings feel worse
it also doesn't get stronger when they feel worse it just comes from the pain of caring for them
and it sustains you to continue your work of being with all your suffering friends to continue to be your friend with your suffering friends

thank you

next offering will be from maggie

oh rabbit
hello good evening at evening yes
i'm very nice to see you yes they're nice to see your here
i'm glad that today's topic is compassion because i have been working on this for several years and years ahead of
maybe more
more never ending i've but quite intensive this year's on there is another form of compassion that is so hard for me to practice is to say no to my family and
it is it is the kind of balance that i'm always trying to find that i every time i'm not sure whether i should say no or yes yes or no has no
sometimes i said yes because because i have a fear
that's the family relationship and will be cut if i say no so because of that fear i said yes but then the other times and when i'm ready when i'm
i think i'm ready to say no then i said no and then after the know there was there will be there was consequence that
that that really good family relationship was cut because i said no i'm
so a things like a sitting in a on the unknown volcano and this volcano can
explode any time i don't know when but every time when it to pick a it explode
i always have to decide to say yes or no
it's so hard to learn to say no
and then to live with it i mean to live with the consequence of the up the no one
and i'm always not sure whether i did it right or wrong i mean they should i say know yourself
i question is will maybe more about an
aykroyd and or something like upright a compassion and
maybe it's more about the skiers and that i'm lacking and to be clear and to be fun and when when i say yes or no and this is always a question for me an
story is not that not and not ended but and i'm still like every day i'm practicing and
and try to prepare myself for the next m break out of the volcano and so i have always have this question did i do it right or wrong or hear you you have to was i too heart or what was i sound too hard and i was certainly nothing
we heard that question and you're not sure that and you're not sure yeah yeah
so many people are like you they wondered did i do it right to to do it wrong and in some of them what are like you and they not sure
some actually are not like you there sure they're sure they did it right
and then some other people are sure they did it wrong so he had these different situations
but but these situations they're not really compassion
their situations they're painful situations you've just told us about
compassion is being with those situations
compassion is
being patient with the pain that you're in
from which you say yes or from which you say no so you're in some painful situation and you sometimes say yes and you sometimes say you know also you're in the painful situation of not being sure about what you did as another pay
for situation these are painful situations the compassion is to be with them
is to be generous towards the situation
and from that generosity
and from that carefulness and patience you will say yes or you will say no
and then you had the consequences
which is more painful situations
and then you practice compassion with the consequences and if you practice compassion with the consequences then your
doing the practice of compassion from which you might say yes and no again
and then you have consequences
and then you practice compassion with the consequences and then you say yes and no again and then you have consequences and you practice compassion with the consequences
compassion doesn't eliminate the consequences
compassion doesn't eliminate
not knowing if you did right or wrong
compassion deals with not knowing whether you did right or wrong compassion also deals with thinking that you did do right
so whether you if you think you did right there suffering if you think you did wrong they're suffering if you're not sure if you did right or wrong they're suffering
and all of these situations are suffering
and then
you're being called to be compassionate towards these situations
if you practice compassion then from that compassion comes you're offering
and then there's consequences and around your go again
so i'm i'm not wishing that you will stop
not being sure
and i'm not wishing that you was that you will stop thinking you're right or stop thinking you're wrong when i wish for is that you practice compassion with not being sure with being sure and would being sure you're wrong and being sure you're right i am not
thanks all that i all the situations i pray that you'll be compassionate with them and then from that compassion you will act
and there will be consequences and i pray that you practice compassion towards the consequences
but i don't pray that there will be an end to your uncertainty
as an unrealistic prayer
there's an ocean of uncertainty in which you live in which you live together with us i don't pray the ocean disappears i pray that we practice compassion with the ocean of uncertainty
with the ocean of consequences that's what i'm praying for i'm praying that you practice compassion with that ocean
and you will say yes or you will say no or you'll be quiet
and no matter what you say
our don't say there will be consequences for you to deal with there will be consequences for you to be compassionate with and i pray that you are compassionate
with all the consequences
and also the consequences of acting from compassion
are are just as challenging as the consequences from not being compassionate
both consequences are challenger it just at the consequences of compassion are consequences that lead to protection and liberation of beings and the consequence of not compassion
just keep the cycle of suffering going but still the consequences of not being compassionate if they're dealt with compassionately lead to protection and liberation
that's where the joy comes on
now did you know a joy comes from caring for people who are suffering that's was a joy comes from and then there's another joy which comes from people feeling better are things getting fixed
which is in this is not a bad joy is just that joy is not undependable
with the josh the joy that comes for caring for suffering beings that joy is indestructible

next offering will be from barbara jean and jeff

so i'm wondering whether
we might be able to call when dean joy reid week because when when my pay like my back pain subsides and i don't feel excruciating pain i can move freely way i feel
relieved and but having had the paying for many many cycles so having had this
unfortunate great teaching of my own body and working hard in my life with myself and to accept that i was going that i will have pain whether whether it's my diaper from not and that likely it will go
where he also that this is just how my body responds to certain stresses and movements
i feel root leaf and i think and i was just wondering if you could speak to
the i felt like the wording of mundane joy felt more to me like we've than the joy of just having the experience with being in my body whether i'm in pain or not like when i'm not in pain i get to dance
and that makes me happy because it appears more endorphins so i feel elation and a kind of light and and gratitude grazed am and when i'm in pain it it does bring my focus in and had different
way and and as i've aged with it i've become more gracious toward it so
can you help me with that language in just i want to hear what you would say
the i think relief is very closely related to ah
well not not record on some forms of monday enjoy aren't really relief like for example if you're watching a sporting event and your team wins you don't necessarily feel relief you feel joy that the
yeah roof or someone or if your ear or if someone you care about does something really skillful and you appreciate it is not really relieved but you you feel joy and that's that's in this wonderful go so and when i and when the pain of my knees subsided i felt relief and it was quite pleasant to feel that
relief yeah that joy
is you know that's gone
the relief has gone
and the and that or if that if the joy of relief
if if now the pain would come charging back
that the relief joy would be gone
so that that is a it's a good joy and it it's it's nothing it's it's part of our body endorphins are part of our body and endorphins are kind and helpful
however they're not dependable
joy is dependable it's there when it's was there when you're in pain it's there when you experience relief and it's there after the release subsides and your back to sort of like maybe not excruciating pain but you're not feeling the joy of relief you are relieved you know a few hours or few
days ago and you get over it now you're back to the ordinary life but this other joy is there a through the whole process through all these different times the other joyous there
it's with the joy of the coming and going of the relief
it's sustains us before relieved why we're relieved and after the relief and know evaporates and it's there for the next onslaught and it's a joy that we don't have to that we are getting pushed around anymore
by the pain
the other kind of joy it's a little bit it can be addictive and we can get pushed around by it
opiate addiction is relief addiction and orphan so
this kind of joy helps us protects us from addiction to pain relief
from pain reduction but it doesn't mean pain reduction isn't sometimes really helpful for example if you haven't if you have open heart surgery and then you and afterwards if you don't breathe deeply your to your lungs are going to filled with fluids and
that's not good but it's so painful to breathe deeply that you might not wanna do it but you need a free pretty deeply otherwise here too if you're gonna get in trouble so they give you some pain medication so you can breathe deeply however
they want to be careful because if the pain medication they give you so you can breathe deeply and clear your lungs if you're not careful you get addicted to the pain medication which the inner but
but this pain the pain of compassion
which is a joy we don't get addicted to
i haven't seen people addicted to it it's not that kind of joy is the joy which encourages us to not run away from pain
included encourages is not to not run away from relief it's not like oh here comes some relief i gotta get outta here
okay relief i can handle read i can hear relief can we take you the real evil way i'll be i'll stay with you if you take the relief away i'll stay with you if you bring the relief on
i'll stay with you in pain i'll say with you and happiness
in sickness and in health
so as to difference but it doesn't mean that pain reduction isn't sometimes really helpful
it's just we gotta be careful not to get addicted to it
thank you you're welcome thank you
next offering will be from leslie
hey good morning good morning
i because i've been doing all go also attending the tuesday stay a two-state hawks and
if some of it for me i'm really trying to grasp the difference between
protecting from pain and trying to get rid of pain and am sometimes wondering what that looks like and reality for instance this morning i woke up overwhelmingly sad not even sure why and i don't know what it looks like to try to show the same kind
awareness as you wouldn't your knee like i can imagine if i woke up with a terrible like pain
somehow having compassion for that because maybe it almost seems like a thing
but when it you're just feeling inside of yourself sad how do you
do the same thing
even if i don't have the kind of joy that i'm talking about
but but especially if i did have the joy that i'm talking about the joy of
pain which comes from caring about somebody
if i had that joy and i walked in i wake up and i am have a very deep sadness than that joyce stays me in the outrageous activity of compassion which means that i would welcome that suffering that morning suffering
the joy would lift
lift me up so that i could say welcome sadness
it would lift me up so i could listen to the sadness joyfully listened to it i'm sad
i'm sad
but the sadness is calling me to listen and because of that joy i say okay i will listen to you darling
i will listen to you wholeheartedly sadness that whole heartedly listening
his compassion
and the joy of of this compassion makes it possible to do that really hard work of listening to deep deep sadness but that's what deep sadness wanted wants us to listen to it deeply wants us to feel it
an opening to the sadness
what is it do it freezes from something we're holding onto that we don't know
that we can't let go but when we open to the sadness we let go of the thing
which were holding onto that the sadness comes to heal us of

and the difference between trying to get rid of the sadness and protecting us in the sadness is this kind of welcoming and patients with it patience is not getting rid of the sadness
it's being right there with it
but again we need we need some joy to enthusiasm about being with the sadness and enthusiasm about giving ourselves to it if we completely give ourselves to the sadness we will be protected from it
oh i should say we will be protected in it
and it will do as in in that way of being with it
will do will heal us
which is what the sadness came to help us do
the sad is didn't come and say run away from me
the sun has didn't come into gossip go away it came as said be with me feel me feel me early in the morning and i didn't even say i know it's hard to female feel me early in the morning but would you do so anyway
but that's what it wants it wants us to feel it
and we need joy to do that hard work and there is joy available and it's right there
in the pain we feel because we love bags
but at the same mama your favorite joy and sadness we are you feeling joy in the sadness and joy makes it possible for you to be with sadness because the sadness does isn't just it's not just sitting there it wants to be met
but but without that joy we may feel like i know i don't want to be said and we run away from better we do something to reduce the sadness just getting really active sometimes is enough
we're like you know some people wake up sad and they go running in the endorphins common that's i'm not criticizing that
but they don't actually feel the sadness and then go running while they're running why bother feeling sad they run and endorphins come and push the sadness away they never really feel it so the sadness comes back the next day so will you feel me today nine going go running
as a nice if that's the nice singer them difficult thing about sitting if you sit still the sadness comes and you don't run away
and you feel it
and this that's what the sadness wants it wants us to feel it i'm not saying you shouldn't get your exercise when you're feeling sad i'm not saying that
would give our sadness it's do we should give it its day in court we should give it you know our wholehearted listening but it's okay to take a walk it's okay to ah
get exercise but if you sit still that is really get you then you're going to listen to it
and that's what it wants it wants us to sad responses to listen to it i'd tell you i've learned that i've learned that sadness comes in when i just sit there and listened to it it says thank you very much and it drops away cause it it got me to do it i needed to do which was to
be still and listened to it and when i was still and listen to it some part of my body and mind was released
from something he was holding onto
and the sadness came to help me let go
now i'm refreshed and i can go on to some other difficulty
thank you very much a welcome thank you
the next offering witness from pam
good morning good morning i've had about a half a dozen different questions and they keep changing so i'll just go with the current to you
am i i have the experience this is my practice where you're talking about of of being with at the sadness or pain or anger fear whatever present and and are listening to it am a
a you know my therapist so i i where i work with clients by work or worked at the same thing and sometimes and people get a little bit confused are listening to it because you know there's all the thoughts that come with the emotions like all my life is horrible i'll never you know yeah so i tom this let go of the fall
awesome just be with the feelings okay go ahead
there with the feelings yes you want you that right yes then thoughts come up yes
then do it with the thoughts
but there is list so there is listening to the thoughts and then there is believing the thoughts why won't the you know watch him do that so they have a feeling and you're trying to help them be with the feeling yeah and then it and then they start many judging and commenting on their feeling which you do
didn't ask him to do right
it it's kind of a distraction from feeling the feeling
right yeah so you got the feeling that you're trying to get them to be there with it right wanna do it they think about it or they comment on it will then turn do the same thing with that
so just been so when i would think he said that means noticing the thoughts yeah just been noticing the thought of same as noticing the feeling yeah being compassionate towards the arts he thought yeah the thought may not you know they missed that she maybe they missed the chance of
thing with the feeling it would have been good
but even if they did
the present and whole hearted and really felt the feeling still a thought might come up like that was good
well then practice with that the same way or i can't be present with it that's not the film that's not a judgement or i wasn't very good at being present destiny own judgment or i shouldn't be feeling this way that then do the same with that practice compassion with the thoughts it's not like
you're trying to help people be with a feeling in then they get rid of the thoughts not they're gonna have them here but don't just don't just let them haven't
save that to that to that to i was tried to not miss a beat
even though you started with feelings
apply compassion towards feelings towards thoughts towards opinions
you whatever i think that confusing part is if you tell people turtle like less you don't want to tongue i mean if you say listen to the thoughts it's hard for people distinguish between listening to the thoughts and believing that thoughts what will tell him that okay
tell him that or or ask him as they're listening than you can ask him did did you believe that i did you think the thought was true
so once once your with the thought and being kind to it than you could start as questions about it if you want
and you may notice that some people say i think this
and then some other people say this is this way
so i think this is a thought but it shows some self reflection
like i think you're a good therapist
and you are a good therapist
so you are surface mabus said you could you could ask did you actually believe what you just said about me
and they might have said while yeah i did say okay
and then you might discuss the difference between i think you're good therapist and you are a good therapist and see what's right what's the difference in those two ways of talking me i wanna see you know you're having a thought versus just believing it that yeah but you can be equally compassionate to you are good there
twist and i think you're good therapist right you can be present and patient with both of us even though one may sound
you know more awake than the other but you're not more friendly to awake people's and sleepy people are you
what when you listen to the sadness or fear pain or whatever it is do you do you like hear things like does it say something or is it more like listening and just as a as as a way of just read
receiving and welcoming and being present when it starts was receiving and welcoming and being present with
and then from there things may move on but was there something else besides that you talked about well sometimes you know an internal family systems we we you know the the pain sadness whatever isn't being and you talk to it and it tells you things
yeah oh yeah so sometimes you might be listening to the pain
might be listening to the pain and you're welcoming it an open to it and then in the middle of the pain you may hear another little whisper right you know you may hear i'm just kidding
or guess what i'm really saying and right and the murder you need to be stronger or or your neither yeah you might hear some other kind of some some some other voices that you didn't originally here might happen but that's like a gift
and you weren't trying to get the gif you are just open but it opened as you may get a bunch of gifts
that may happen but not necessarily and partly not necessarily because partly the cry
who wants to see if you'll listen even if you don't get any gifts any treats we use we've will give give listening if if i don't give you any treats now oh you just keep listening i keep get if i keep feeding your ego right
and young and
the person calling so yeah you do keep listening on a feed your ego the i see that
do a to so let's just keep that up shall we
but some people say actually i i want to see if anybody will care for me if i don't give them what they want
i'd like to see if somebody could list you may even though i'd give him no present no bright blue listening for this was not like that when you teach me how to listen like that yeah am
thank you rep
right on your other questions for future reference i still gotta good good i used to carry a notebook with questions for suzuki roshi that i didn't ask them all the questions at once i sit i saved him for other tournaments my my dog's got a question do is like when you gonna take me
for a walk at that money actually going to digging your walk
your next offering as from homer
good morning everybody
good evening yes i'm good evening ah
i would like to offer
this question which is more other quest for me
and that is fear
fear of anything
fear of birth fear of death fear of all the investments that i can see myself a nice i can hear when everybody is speaking how invested we are in are suffering in our emotions in our feelings in everything
question is
the possibility questioning if there is a possibility that we talk about freedom if there is an actual possibility of not being invested in our investments
i would say yes
and if that possibility is true why are we after all these years still invest because i see these people that they're coming these people who have been practicing they're very intelligent people they're not like stupid people that
are they don't go deep so why after all these years i still see investment
oh it's the us is it possible and i said yes and then there's another possibility which is the possibility that if you are completely invested you will be free of investment
and it and even if you are completely in invested in your investments and free then that's great for the moment but then another one may come and you have to do it again and if you don't do it with the next one then you'll be stuck in her okay hold on hold on homer
the fullness of investment
then the question is what then the fullness of investment is not investment no nights it it's it's freedom you become free of investment by total investment but total investment is a you know most people don't get to total investment in their investments
for example if you're if you're totally invested you have no expectation yes by question was that you said when you are totally invested then it's free your free and then the next thing comes why is that i'm just saying that this is this is not a permanent state
so an investment comes up if you're totally invested you'll be free but that is for the moment
and then another situation comes up and yeah you have to do it again with the next situation
so you asked why are these people still after all these years big is because of inconsistency in their practice
so they probably have had some freedom along the way okay but then they pretend they they're inconsistent so than the another investment comes up and they aren't whole hearted about it and then they get stuck in it
but if they would be wholeheartedly about all then they would be free pathetic than the next moment comes up we had to do it again
but it works in this is the way reality works is that more totally something were free of it gets so obviously probably everything at every moment yes you being totally everything and be totally nothing and everything in in the moment arms and some people do that and that's great and then they take a break for
for a week or year and then they suffered because you're not practicing again but the practices this is the possibility and say haku investment is freedom from investment okay when you speak then comes my next question you say take a break when you totally in the moment you
totally free you're totally in the moment you totally free what's this break about i don't understand the break the break is everything changes
then if if you're totally the change yeah if you're totally changed and than than can be practiced the same way with the next the next offering the next investment okay so when so that that the asked the question to my answer is that not being too i'm not being totally i'm not i'm
not the totality of what is there i suffer my discovery out each moment is a kind of investment yes every moment is yes gets yes thank you thank you open

our next offering his from linda
oh yeah marty
ah i'm beginning to understand something of what you mean by great compassion
and i would like to clarify the relation of that too mundane compassion
cause i i don't think your discouraging us from practicing acts of men mundane compassion but just not to be fooled by them to think that that's loosely not to be fooled by them yeah not that is there's so many examples that i've thought a while you are talking to people for
providing oxygen cylinders to people in india who are dying because they don't have it so you know that kind of mundane compassion i want them to
be saved
or giving a pillow to somebody who needs to be sitting up that are also many food or all these things i want to take away that
pain saw that monday and compassion and you but i just want this to be clear for myself and possibly others you are not seeing oh what a fool your just practicing mundane compassion years you're letting us know giving us a glimpse of great compassion
so that we don't keep making mistakes with monday and compassion is that correct
great compassion liberate you from mundane compassion but it doesn't stop you from doing it now it just let you do it with are getting hung up on it now
you you get you adjust somebody's pillow and then somebody tells you that you adjusted it wrong and then you get angry
you got caught by i'm this helpful person has a great compassion lets you adjust the pillow and then when people criticize you for the way you adjusted you say thank you
yeah i'm actually i'm going to the course on jeff pillow adjustment and everybody you know everybody's free of this good person this good pillow adjuster
everybody's free of her and she mentions that can i just below again
and she just joyfully adjust the pillar but she's not hung up on it
rob is it like i i've been digging as you discuss this of the story of yeah casual in the fox
his wrong answer is yes the buddha is free of cause and effect
better answer turned out five hundred years later to be a good it does not ignore cause and effect room so like that we we can be moved to relieve suffering or to takeaway pain
that's that part of it is it well
you can be moved to relieve suffering or to adjust a pillow you do that and you don't fall into that was free of cause and effect or i fell into cause and effect you don't do either of those that was right or that was wrong you're just
watching and you're ready and then people say you move that pillow perfectly are you move that pillow in a very cruel way and again you don't fall into well i did i fell into cause and effect your i didn't if you into hey hey look this this is wonderful it's like the
story which i tell over and over about people accusing the zen monk of being a terrible person and he says oh yeah and he looks he has this he doesn't fall into well i'm a zen master i couldn't have done that or oh i fell into caused if he watches as is that so i saw desk
is that what's happening okay
joyfully looking at cause and effect still involved in the world of people insulting us and trying to help in all that
but great impact great compassion embraces a situation and now we're like meditating on it and not hung up on it but we're still were like active participants and to stay away from being an active participant would be another kind of mundane compassion which again
we can be with that and not hung up on that
you they iraq them thank you
oh by the way you can i just say one more thing linda you know the case eighty nine i think of the blue cliff record i think it's called
who is it
anyway the questions about great compassion so somebody has to zen teacher you know what are the thousand hands and thousand eyes for he says it's like reaching for a pillow in the middle of the night so that way of moving the pillow you know
to be in that state and meanwhile you'd let don't know do your best
well maybe maybe the darkness of the night is in or is our mind right so to reach for can reach for the pillow and in are confused mind
great compassion is doing that all the time it's reaching for pillows in the darkness
what a wonderful opportunity
our next offering
his friend g ran

thank you for taking my question
can you hear me yes you're welcome
i i really appreciate your taking the time in the care to unfold great compassion and transmitted i feel like i don't have a question exactly about what you're explaining i find it to be it feels wise
but i do have a question about chapter twenty five in the lotus sutra which i afraid here i read it every night and you know i'm just gonna read a number of well thank you yeah i'm gonna read a couple of lines because i want you to answer to the way this describes compassion because it sounds like
there is a getting rid of element and i have experienced that this kind of litany has helped do that like if it just says something like if someone with harmful intent should push you into a fiery pit by mindfully invoking of lucky touch far as power which i believe is great compassion the pit
of fire will turn into a pool the billowing waves another cannot drown you if someone were to throw you down like the sign you would stand firm in the sky if pursued by evil doers they could not a single him
thanks it's enough to read the whole job thanks so
i don't necessarily hear that that ah if you if you are mindful of of a lucky touch for the something's eliminated
i don't hear it that way how do you hear it i hear it as this great blessing arises
and the and the blessing changes the reality of the pain so so like if i a hair the blessing to realize the reality of the pain the blessing is to realize the reality of the pain
but if something is fire and then it's water is not that it was fire and then is water i don't read it that way i'm saying in the fire if we're mindful of this compassion this great compassion a great blessing will come
and rather than just say blessing we can make it cool clear for refreshing water
but we could just say blessing so another way to write that chapter which is not so poetic but also maybe not so shocking is for all these problems that are example if you remember great compassion
great blessing comes
but great blessing doesn't eliminate all these problems
i saw at the end of the chip okay let's stop there
all this suffering
remembering great compassion
great blessing comes but it doesn't eliminate the ocean of suffering
it doesn't get rid of the suffering it just brings a great blessing
it frees beings in the midst of the fire
it frees beings in the midst of the pain
it doesn't eliminate the pain it doesn't eliminate the suffering that's what i'm saying and i think some people think that buddhism eliminate suffering but i don't think so i think the buddha the buddha way protects beings and liberates beings in suffering of a low-key touch borrow
great compassion is living in the middle of suffering is not living in some other place it's living in a pure land in the middle of suffering
it's living in a joyful peaceful place in the midst of war
it's practicing compassion with the flames and torment it doesn't get rid of them the flames and torment though i would say
it's so again at the end of the chapter it says eyes of compassion observe sentient beings which means our of jai translators eyes of compassion observe an ocean of some sentient beings and observing the ocean of
suffering beatings gives rise to an ocean of blessing
so an ocean of suffering observed with great compassion brings and oceans of of a blessing so the ocean of blessing in the ocean of suffering or together
the compassion does not eliminate the ocean of suffering
it gives rise to the ocean a blessing without touching or manipulating the ocean a blessing in this way it heals the ocean of suffering but it heals the ocean of suffering it does not eliminate the ocean of suffering
it heals the the the flames of pain it does not eliminate the flames of pain okay
yeah i think i think what you're describing about the healing i see this in people when they when when there is great compassion that when people can sort of face their own death there is great joy and it does but it does change the tone and a pain so it may not get rid of it but i think a kind of
xylitol i don't know if it changes anything you say it does i would say the situation changes but this kind of thing doesn't really change anything it awake in it awakens to the truth and the situation
and can you may see some changes but the awakening it doesn't really change the situation it just sees the truth i mean i think how it changes as it that in our hearts what we really want is to have indestructible compassion and that if that if we feel like you
can do anything to me but this compassion will not falter then i feel courageous and that in itself is everything i want anyway so it does heal in a way that's profoundly yeah i agree
thank you you're welcome
next offering is from breck
i wrapped can you hurry
good evening breck i rub
can you hear me i can see that i'm near you i mostly i mostly see each your that you look funny it can be requested a green
so my my question is pretty straightforward and i know i think it was linda mentioned as story of someone and the fox and i'm not familiar with that story is already could tell that story please
so it's some it's a story of the of the
grade teacher by john and
ah he gave talks to his assembly and whenever he gave a talk there was an old man at the back of the room
but one day after many talks the old man came forward and said i'm not actually a human i'm a fox
and a long time ago i used to be the head monk of this of this monastery where you're living and someone asked me if a highly cultivated person still falls into karmic cause and effect
or as blue as linda said does buddha fall into cause and effect and i said no
and then i and then and then i live five hundred lives as a fox in other words because i denied
that highly cultivated person like me would fall into cause and effect i really fell into cause and effect
so if you deny that a great person calls and cause and effect you seem to fall in and cause and effect
and if you would say that they do fall a cause and effect he also might fall into cause and effect
but he didn't say that they do he said they don't and he and so then he went through
i've got a karmic spanking five hundred years of year in karma you feel you feel you feel you fell and then he says please teacher give me a turning phrase so the teacher took the expression and turned it from does not fall
in does not obscure or does not ignore and then he was liberated
if you take a position of falling in are not falling in then you stand you act out the drama of falling and not falling
but the buddha way is the drama of compassionately observing sentient beings in karmic causation
the ocean of sentient beings is the ocean of karmic causation and we compassionately observe all that
that's the path of liberation we don't avoid falling or not falling
we don't get into falling or not fall we don't avoid we don't get into either one of those alternatives we packed as the middle way of contemplating
all suffering bags with great compassion
the name of the name of it is you can look it up called by johns wild fox
i will be a i j h a n g by johns wild fox

the next offering is from russia

there are a drab and the friends in the assembly great to see you all
the nice to do this again
so i wanted to share some ideas of gates and stumbling blocks to great compassion in my practice if i noticed for me the turning point that was really important in kennett
falling into something that might be great compassion and discovering at is when i in moments of difficulty and life has been keeping me all kinds of difficulty in personal relationships for the last so many years now
and some of them are very challenging and my instant reaction was like i'd have to do something i got to fix it this is not right did you say that some of the difficulties are challenging asia or them at that very challenging and when i when i was do
doing it a i finally started to notice that i was creating a lot of suffering by that creating that
by creating
by creating that split that i have to do something it's like you know going back to darwin who says if was fish tries to jump out of the water it will die at once if a bird wants to cut jump out of the air it would that so that's what i was creating i was creating the state of and
anguish that i want to jump out of my environment so when i find a recognize that i was creating my suffering and anguish pain in real in on top of whatever it was going on i stopped and when i finally stopped it was just as
incredible joy that wow it's okay now i'm dealing with the situation and then i started to gradually sink into this recognition that
this is my life and i'm here to just respond to live as it needs to be and i l l it will i will know what to do and things will be okay just started to really open to to to these things and the and the more i
practice that the more i was discovering the joy of just knowing that i'm in where i need to be in my in my place this is my place in life
and but of course stumbling blocks arise all the time right
my husband will do something totally out of the left corner of the field and the urge arises to do something to fix it and else and then if i quickly noticed this to just let go of that urge i will find so gradually i fell into this too
trust that it's all good i don't have to of course there are bigger surprises still but you know like you said they were still meet i think it's just endless fact it's right or even on the death but some something will piss me off and whatever as
and there will be more opportunity to practice but that that that that sense of knowing my place and that all is good was incredibly joyful
thank you for sharing that with us
thank you for listening this is my life

an eye final offering for this morning will be a bike from karen yuki
good morning good morning
i would like throw back to the question about protecting beings man in that has sort of progress in my mind time's gone on this morning
and i i kind of understand it as becoming a refuge
but in my mind when i imagine that there's a note there's sort of an image of getting between beings and harm or providing shelter sheltering beings
as part of being a refuge and i just i think the that's
maybe a little bit off i wondered if you could say something about what what it means to be a refuge
well it's it's kind of like that is kind of like getting in between like in a way it's kinda like patients is in between misery and us we have the if we have this patients practice which we put up to meet the suffering is kind of in between but really it
raise a way to be with it it's an inbuilt it's a it's an between that helps us it's a type of in between which actually collapses into intimacy
it's not intimate it it is not like a protection that you know pushing the thing away it's a protection of helping us be intimate
so patients and generosity and being carefully and respectful these are in a way they're in between in the sense that we have a sense that we're here and then here's this practice on here which were going to use to deal with his pain
kind of seems like it's in between but really it's about helping us to be with it
in in up in a way that protects us so it doesn't harm us
death doesn't have to harmless
birth doesn't have to harmless fear and confusion don't have to harmless if we meet them with these practices
and we can be that for others as well and from if different view if you're practicing these practices in a sense than they see it and then you you are kind of in the mix
of them in their suffering they see all here's paid they they get the patients in their you teach them patients by practicing patience yourself the pick it up
your patients with their difficulty they sensed you're not trying to get him to stop being a sick person so then they learn how does that how to give up trying to stop being a sick person and then they get to be a sick person and say all this is my life
if somebody has to teach him that
and if you can practice that way that gets transmitted to them
even if they can't see you
so as long as as any subject object it could see my these practices are in between yeah so if if i seem like i'm a subject you're an object and if i'm practicing patience with you is kind of like patience is between us but really patience is a way for us to get over subject objects separation
but in the mid in in the meantime it can maybe seem kind of it's facilitating our subject object relationship
so it appears to be in between but it's it's really not in between
and that's how we are a refuge
natalia refuge
and that's how we are friend
and that's how we are buddha
thank you everybody for another wonderful morning and another wonderful afternoon and another wonderful evening we had people from all over the united states from the west coast these cause do we have people in
england sweden germany and switzerland and maybe other places in and under
canada and also i think of columbia
thank you everybody
may or june an equally extend to every being and