No Abode Virtual Gathering

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A virtual Dharma talk by Tenshin Roshi for an online gathering of the No Abode Community via Zoom.

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i usually had know abode we begin with a ritual
for each person says their name and then everyone says their name
but i don't think that will work with this present situation
ah so i can see your names and your faces and
yeah i see people
england and
germany and the united states
and italy
and sweden
and denmark
all over the united states

and i haven't seen any of you for quite awhile and i haven't seen some of you for years
so yeah this is a great a great moment

ah so i'm i'm not at know abode ah monastery or not a not a know about hermitage i'm at green gulch
zen center

alas policy on the may second i gave a talk
to a very small group of you
and yesterday i was asked to give a title for the talk
in the title i suggested was

caring for everything

as awakening
and so i talked about i'm on the last time
for example
take care of a garden
as awakening or as taking care of awakening
take care of a sick friend
as taken care of awakening

one time the buddha was
moving around
on the surface of the earth with his attendant
and as they walked they came upon
ah one of the buddhist students
a monk
i believe was lying near the road and he he was very sick and
hod uncared for dirty and
ah yeah with various kinds of signs of illness on his skin
and i found this story because i was looking for examples of where buddha touch somebody
and here's an example where buddha actually together with a nanda
picked up this human body with their hands and
put it on a clean surface and washed it
and cared for it
but a denude does not usually much notice in the scriptures about buddha touching people but occasionally the buddha does touch people when it's appropriate
and later the buddha met with a large group
have students and told them about in finding this monk and he said he had never told them before so they weren't they didn't take care of the mock and he told them
when one of you sick or ah i it would be appropriate for you to take care of that that member of the sanga
i'm bringing this up because and he said when you take care of that person it's like taking care of me
and so what i mentioned last time as if we're taking care of the budo if we're taking care of
unsurpassed complete authentic awakening we probably wouldn't be thinking about improving it
we would be
thrilled to have the opportunity to take care of the buddha to
to take care of the buddha to give the buddha seat
to give the buddhism water
to get the buddha a question
we'd probably very happy to do that but we'd probably wouldn't think oh let's go and prove the buddha
some students might actually think i'm gonna go and prove the border but are summer sun was might not think that just like let's go meet the buddha and look at the border and served the border and
he i care for the buddha right and what i'm suggesting now is to take care of everything like that to take care of all your feelings like that to take care of the cups in your sink like that to take care of yourself
and to take care of all living beings with no exception like you take care of the buddha
joyfully diligently
and again if you got a chance to meet the buddha or are buddha
or somebody who is more or less a buddha you probably also would not try to control them
like if they're gonna sit ah
in that chair you might actually just helped him sit in a chair and in town
some of or chair or you might say you might give him a question like excuse me excuse me world under one do you really want to sit in that seat
because maybe you know that seat is isn't
kind of
an old chair and the it might not support the buddha's weight and say might want to at to set on and not another seat but you probably wouldn't be thinking that you're controlling the buddha you're serving the blue and see might say excuse me i think that share might not be strong enough to supply
art the entire universe
would you please sit over here and am i say ah thank you for the suggestion i think i'll sit in this chair and then the boot of my pseudonym and the fall through the chair
but that that would be a wonderful teacher for you
for us so that's what i was talking about last time and also emphasized that in the practice of taking care
of everything and also in particularly in the practice of taking care of buddha and taking care of unsurpassed awakening
it's essential
unavoidable indispensable to take care of the bodhisattva precepts
but there to in taking care of the bodhisattva precepts
we treat them like were taking care of buddha so we don't try to control the bodhisattva precepts
we don't try to improve the bodhisattva precepts
of course we don't
ignore them
but also we don't
depend on them
we take care of them like we take care of the buddha we take care of the buddha but we don't depend on the border we take care of the bootable we don't abide in the buddha
taken care of the buddha means not abiding and anything including buddha
and not abiding in anything including buddha is buddha

not abiding in the bodhisattva precepts is the way the buddha takes care of the bodhisattva precepts so the buddha gives us the bodhisattva precepts
that's the were one of the waves the buddha's take care of the bodhisattva precepts is by giving them to us
but they don't own the precepts
they don't claim to the precepts they take care of them and if we take care of them like buddha take care of them than we wholeheartedly practice them without abiding in them depending on them trying to control them are improving them
the way to be wholehearted in the practice of the precepts and thus
an aspect of taking care of everything
you could also say taken care of the precepts is taken care of everything

and you can also say taken care of everything is taken care of the bodhisattva precepts

i was talking to one of you
who was you who are here today a couple days ago
and then and they mentioned
that i think that they had been practicing something they thought i
we're thought i was teaching
which is the practice
i think the way they put it was the practice ah up
taking our seat

sometimes also the product called the practice of taking our dharma position
taking our true position
and i i think i have talked about that in many of you probably heard me talk about that
the practice of taking our seat but today i'd like it instead of a taking our an addition to same taking our sweet i would say the practice of receiving our seat
i'm accepting our seat
again ah it is suggested in some scriptures when someone comes to visit you give them a seat
give them a water
give them your attention
rather than when they come to see you let them take a seat
ha or take the water so again idiomatic lee take a seat doesn't necessarily mean you take something that's not given by to i like to emphasize the practice of receiving the seat that's given to us
accepting the seat that's given to us
and today and maybe tomorrow but certainly today each of us has been given a seat
and the cease we've been given are you could say are all over the world
but i didn't take the seat i didn't know
no i was gone given the seat to be here at this on this place in the world and each of us has our seat which has been given to us
and egypt and each of our seats this seed i'm sitting in and seat you're sitting at each of our seats are at the center of all living beings each of us is surrounded by all living beings
all beings who have realized the way
are all around us and with us all beings who have not yet completely realize the way they are also all around us and they are suffering
an our particular position in the midst of all suffering beings we did not take it was given to us
and we have the opportunity to
receive it and accept it

i'd like to talk to a little bit about receiving our seat
and sitting on our suit are sitting at our seat
and i was really suzuki roshi a day or so ago and he said moment after moment and actually i think it's more like moment by moment
receiving our seat accepting our see mama
by moment and ceiling
at our seat or standing at our place
abiding in anything
caring for everything
had our seat
without abiding in anything or depending on anything

we call this sometimes just sitting
just sitting in our true place right here each moment
without any elaboration
without trying to improve anything
without trying to control anything
without abiding are clinging to anything
this is to sit in our position right here
as a buddhist sits and this is to care for buddha's by sitting like buddhas and standing like boys

now the person who brought up this practice to me
after telling me that the time to do this practice they said but it's so hard
it's so hard what's so hard it's hard to be at the place
and be surrounded by all this suffering is hard to keep accepting that position
because part of what surrounding us is
beings taking the form of it's so hard
it's so hard is a living being

it's hard to care for
it may be hot it may be hard
and and it being hard is another living being and thinking that it's hard as another living being these are living beings to take care of
so we don't try to improve this living being called this is so hard
the i just feel like giving up i can't go on that's another living being
we listened to and take care of all these beings
and taking care of them without abiding in on depending on anything we practice
and realize
the boot away
taking care of
everything at our place right now
we practice unsurpassed awakening
and again the way of taking care of it is the way onto pass awakening take care takes care of everything
it gives wholehearted attention to everything
without abiding in anything
without trying to control anything

and ah i think about
a question asked in chapter seven
a sanskrit originally sanskrit root text
called the some dinner much on a sutra
and the question at the beginning of chapter seven is asked by the bodhisattva of loving kindness manjushri i'm here my trail
asked the boot a world honored one depending on what an abiding and what do body surface

and the buddha says something like depending on an abiding in
the teachings
and an unshakable vow
to realize
unsurpassed awakening
so today i'm bringing up a new another aspect of this is that it
we actually need we actually depend on and abide in something in order to practice like a buddha
we depend on and abide and something in order to practice non depending and non abiding
if we try to practice abiding and depending we won't have a hard time it's easy for us to depend on things and abide in them and cling to them and try to control them and try to approve them that's not difficult it's suffering but we know how
ah to do it
all of us are good enough at that
all of us are good enough at trying to control people nobody needs to be better at that but i know of
some people think that some other people should be better at it and they try to control those people
like control your children control your dog control yourself
so some people can't control themselves from trying each from can't control themselves and get themselves to stop trying to control others
cause they're so good at it they liked to use their
their muscles they're controlling muscles they're improving muscles but i think everybody's good enough at it or almost everybody
if any of you know somebody who not good i try to control things let me know i'd like to meet that person well
i just saw somebody might think or suzuki roshi wasn't very good at it
he wasn't very good at controlling his students
that's my view of him and i didn't feel like roshi usually do should you should get your students that more under control i never felt that about him
i noticed that he that is students were not under his control i noticed that and one of them was me
i wasn't under his control and he didn't really try to get me under his control
and i noticed that some of his other students were not under his control and he was not trying to get them under his control but he was devoted to them
and he appreciated than being around
in his life

now he might have had some impulses to try to control us but ah i think he was very good at not falling into those impulses and i might sometimes have some impulses to try to control some of you
but i'm trying to be upright
and not lean into any impulse to control you or improve you
who's that guy probably a good news to you it
or to somebody you want me to try to control you
raise your hands if you want me to try to control you
nobody raised her hand okay i won't
i won't try
in the early days of zen center a lot we had a lot of enthusiastic
almost fanatical send students and remember one time they said to suzuki roshi
give us some way to be more strict give a be more strict with us and one of the things he said was when i asked that he said well when you put the brooms away you could put them with the head of the broom up that's about as strict as he can get with us
and even now's it's to we're still working out that at zen center i sometimes find brooms with the head down and then i usually pick him up and put head up
i'm not trying to control the people or the brooms i'm just putting a broom head up and obviously i do not have control of the broom broom workers
he also said roy ashton dream more strict and other words get us under control he also said
if i was strict with you you'd all leave
maybe not immediately but
history said and so he was
ah maybe some people think he was some one of my my brother said to me maybe rushes to kind to us
our do you think russia's to kind to us
so some people might have thought that about him
does anybody think you're being too kind
is anybody think you should get your friends and neighbors and spouses and more under control
anyway abiding in what
and depending on what
can we give up abiding and depending abiding in what and depending on what can we give up trying to control been beings and instead take care of them
without abiding in them
are trying to control them by biting in what we abide in vows
a bodhisattvas and the great vehicle a in vows
in aspirations
and by living with an abiding in these vows
they had the energy and courage to do this really hard thing which is not the really hard thing i've tried to control people that's pretty hard
it's easy to try but it's almost impossible to succeed
but doesn't we're talking about we're talking about something that in a waves even harder
giving up trying to improve people under control them
we need a lotta energy to give up trying to control
to care for without trying to improve
a lot of people do try to do take care of people and they want to improve them and they try and the people don't improve and they try and and people don't improve and then eventually some of those people they just give up trying to helping people
over and over and the people do not improve and do not come under control
and because the to holding onto improvement they quit
it's so hard on them
so in order to do this practice of sitting at our seat
with no elaboration
without depending on anything we need to depend on vows
that's where you get the energy and the courage to do this hard work it is hard but it's it's again it's like climbing a mountain
an order to climb the mountain some people need to have the vow to climb the mountain

at the beginning of this talk
i recited a vow written by a thirteenth century
sought for named a hey dog that was his vow he wrote i don't know how often he recited that vow but that was his vow and when i recite his bow
it encourages me
it inspires me
i thought of some other people's vows like suzuki roshi is vowed the one to one that came to mind was he vowed to come to the united states and give american people something good from japan
he can't united states ah
shortly after or even still during a time when japan was recovering from the war and they had industry but their industry had been crushed by the war so most all they could do is make kind of like little tinker toys they weren't sending over there nash
national treasures to a united states they were sending over cheap
not very well made
not very skillfully made
however they gradually recovered and suzuki where she wanted to break something really good he wanted to bring
the practice
of the body sought for
and give it to the american people
he wanted to bring the practice of sitting at your seat right where you are moment by moment
you have to bring the practice of sheltering in place
and caring for all beings without trying to including improve
our control them but rather show them
great compassionate care so the day can also practice great compassionate care
he vowed to do that and he came and he tried
for twelve years
and then he died
but here it is his bow
to give american people something really good and sides seek speaking to the europeans and asians he didn't say that he's gonna go to america to get people in europe a gift
but his disciples wanted to go to europe and asia to give a really good gift
the gift
of sitting at our place and encouraging other people to sit at their place

and another vow is the one will do at the end of this session
you call the the for great vows
or the universal vows
living beings are numberless i vowed to save them living beings are numberless i vowed to care for them without trying to control them and thereby saved them
show them that i'll care for them
not until they're under my control
but until they're free from their own impulse to try to control
and then they're saved
afflictions delusions greed hate and delusion are inexhaustible i vowed to cut through it
the dharma gates are boundless everything's that opportunity
for care
everything's an opportunity to take care as taking care of buddha i vowed to endure the door of all those opportunities and the buddha way is unsurpassable about to become it
this is another wow
sustained by that vow
we can do this difficult practice
the body sought fuck to shiki garba
which means earth womb
in japanese and chinese the other that kishi keep a garbage translated into det som
which again means earth womb or gisele which means earth earthworm this bodhisattva vow is
from the time of shakyamuni buddha
i will
teach the dharma
until all beings are free trade
and the last few talks i've given this year i emphasized the bows of some entendre
ten valves up some of hydra
which again relying on those vows
we will receive
great energy and inspiration to do the difficult practice
without abiding in these vows and a buyer and and up
and relying on these vows we will not have enough energy and enthusiasm inspiration to really respect everybody
and take care of them without in the sense discouraging them by trying to control them
including ourselves
and then the the buddha amitabha
amida buddha
was born
by a monk practicing forty eight vows
the add to the sisters of the great vehicle the buddhas and bodhisattvas ancestors they all got their courage and energy and inspiration
to do this
very challenging practice i relying on
by going back to by refreshing and recreating and renewing their vows that's where our energy and courage comes from

and it's a circle
the practice is the realization and the realization gives rise to the vows and the vows fuel the practice which is the realization which gives rise to more violence which gives rise to more heroic practice and more realizations so
round and round we go
can start any place on the wheel
wow practice realization bow practice realization
but ah
yeah a lot of people
they can't remember the practice or they remember the realization but they forget the wow
and saw their practice ah
yeah so
i don't know how often but every moments a good a good such a good time to remember your vows
or if you don't if you can't remember them just ask yourself what valve do you want what's most important in life and then are you ready to commit to that
and if not
ask yourself again and again until you get clear enough so as you're ready to commit
and that was the energy to do this practice comes from

even under ordinaries cut or scares me even under what we might consider to be ordinary circumstances
even then
we may feel
and when things get really tough
then to of course we might feel oh it just so hard i just
i just can't practice
well that feeling is again a sentient being who's calling for compassion
and do you wanna give the person who says i can't do this practice i don't feel the name inspiration do you want to give that person
compassionate care
and if you do keep looking at that wish until you feel the energy to commit to it

if you want to i'm not telling you to do that i don't mean to tell you that doing and i'm not trying to control you into doing that

if all of you disagree with everything i said today my vow is to keep caring for you without trying to get you to agree with me if none of you want to sign up for this
arduous path of sitting in the middle of all beings and caring for them all if none of you want to commit to it i still
aspire to care for you anyway and no less
if you don't want to do this practice and know more if you do want to do this practice that's my vow and that vow is
enlivening and encouraging

please excuse this fall at what the following
looking out on the modern rain i used to feel so on and spy her

looking out on modern rain i used to feel so on inspire you
and when i thought i had to face another day
oh it made me feel so tired

before i met you life was so unkind
you are the key to my peace of mind
cause you make me feel you make me feel you let me feel like a natural human
you let me see
how does sit at my seat

i don't know who that you is but

well i'm amazed how long i've been talking and maybe you are two christmases
but yeah that's what we need to get we need to take care of our vows we need to find them we need to find them and we need to take care of them if we want to sit at our seat and turn the wheel of dharma for the welfare of this world if you want to
do that for the welfare of the world if you want a free all beings
you need to keep in touch with your vows and in order to keep touch with him you have to
ask what they are and listened to the answer and when you find it than you have done yet something to take care of not something to control not something to improve
something to take care of and if you take care of your vows you will have the energy you will be inspired
to take care of the morning rain
looking out upon the morning rain
now i feel so inspired
by my vows
no matter where i am
the sit at my place
my seat with all beings
and turn the wheel of dharma
okay if a let's see
yeah let's if anybody wants to bring anything up we can do that for a while
but in some of your gonna go away ah now if you don't want to come to the question and answer session
i just wanna say i recognize you and i ah
yeah i'm very happy to see your faces
and i pray for your health
and whether you want it or not i pray that you take care of all sentient bags and that you serve all buddhas i pray that you do that and i'm not trying to control you to do that

so by the way i just as could you believe on to believe i'm not trying to control you
right did someone say something
so if anybody wants to participate go to participants in at the bottom it you should see raise your paypal

so if you i don't know if you hurt me the first time if you want to participate go to participants and then at the bottom it should say raise your hand okay we got tracy
okay we got we got tracy you
you got tracy oh i'm sorry
the ahead i say
doesn't sound like tracy to me
tracy go ahead i won't touch anything is okay you have to add yeah i was confused there
i was actually typing out a a attack a text chat but i'm so glad to be able to say it
rob you you said just a little while ago you said
have you like you can't practice knows inspiration
that is is a suffering sentient being that needs to be taken care of
and it's what you said next they've got just a little sketchy in my mind of
something along the lines of and then
try to remember what your vow is would that be something like what you said
well even if it wasn't as sounds good to me
whatever whatever it is it's a sentient being or a buddha calling for your compassion
he's using a sentient being calling for your compassion or a buddha calling that you practice it
our demonstrates it's a buddha demonstrated and then you need some energy to respond to that you will remember your vow
like if somebody insult you if a sentient being an insult you that insulting sentient being as calling for compassion and might be good for you to go back to your bow before you respond to them
and not just go back to remember that you want to respond to this insult with compassion
but you have you get the energy to do so and the courage to do so
i want to respond with i want to respond to that lack of inspiration yes lack of inspiration so a lack of inspiration respond to that by remembering what your vow is yes
now sometimes against against when i think i have to face another day that makes me feel so tire
so i feel tired i don't have energy okay that's a sentient being
what are always my vow again i don't have the energy to face another day where does the energy going to come from there's a vow and me where is that that's the that's my life find the bow and in the bow
you find the well of courage to face another day with energy and enthusiasm but you may have to hang around in a met in that well for a while
may have to go over it quite a few times
but if you hang out there year energy will the the its energy
not yours is energy will come and make you it's servant
so again i feel uninspired my lack of inspiration is calling from my compassion but i don't feel inspired even to take up my leg cake care my lack of inspiration
so what's my bow again oh yeah right
i didn't i do remember my vow but still i feel tired yeah
oh i go back to the all again yeah i that is my vow but i still feel that i go back again yeah that is my vulva but actually i feel a little less tired now
i still not enough to go to work will go back to again or now i feel enough energy to actually i'm ready to go back i'm ready to go id i feel enough energy to do date to go to work
as one of the advantages of getting up and sitting in the morning is that if you sit
if you may not feel really that inspired when you first get up but if you sit
you may be able to discover and
and be fed by your vow before you try to go to work fuel up on your vow
nobody can do this practice without the energy of our vow
and sometimes you have enough left over from the day before but on a regular basis
like every morning
yet the the people of islam do it six times a day or five times a day they refuel who gets a good and in many my on a checks and other buddhist texts and talk about six times a day refuel
go back to your vow and look at it and receive up i see a little rabbit outside which would be happy
that makes sense to you now that makes perfect sense and in in i can add that in just the recollection or the the recollection
of the of of the desire to remember the vow there's a little energy there yep that's right was a little energy that they
thank you so much you're welcome and thing else anybody else and we got laurie
j laurie jabal in learning rip
so i have difficulty while hope many the precepts that one in particular but i did not say and i look at it from different angles i try to work with it and then i end up there's a part of me that really doesn't want to do it but i don't like this precept i don't want to do it but i know as sure
could do it
let's you know what what a just referring to the last person i was talking with he ah
so you have this sentient being and the sentient being is i don't want to do it
at a sentient being
some accenture you yes so that sent him being as i'm not telling you to be compassionate to that ascension pet
the expression marching orders comes to mind
these are marching instructions but they're not marching orders
do you want to take care of the person who says i don't want to take care of the this precept
yes there is there's a there's a wish do you wish to take care of the person who does not want to practice
yes yeah
and do you feel ready to commit to take care of the person who doesn't want to practice
it needs work yeah that what's a big that a big next step to go from wishing to do something to committing to do something is a big step
ah of course i i run into i'm not run into i walk into and the end it runs into me all our time people saying i want to practice the bodhisattva precepts
but they're not yet ready to commit
so the step from wanting to do something to committing to do it is a big step
at aren't to take the step from wanted to do something
two on
what's the word
tubing to think that you're ready to commit is a step to go from wanting to do to feel i'm ready to commit is a step and then there's another step which is i'm ready to commit and now i am committed
so that process is the process we go through to commit to the practice first of all do you want your next do you want to commit
that may take awhile to say yes to if the answer's yes or now the to at you want to commit are you ready to kidnap and if you want to commit you still might say i want to commit but i'm not ready okay let's take care of that person
and maybe even know you're not ready to commit
you feel like you couldn't take care of the person who's not ready to commit again i
i guess i have this opportunity all the time people wanna do something but they're not ready to commit to it and i take care of the person who wants to the person who is ready to and the person who does and that it they do i take care of the person who does not follow through on our commitment
so but we have to split
start from the beginning over and over
so if you have committed to take care of everything
like you take care of the buddha's if you've made that commitment that doesn't mean you don't have to go back again and ask yourself what do i wanna do
it's like you know like like the flower at the end of the plant is like okay i'm committed to take care of everything as awakening
that's great
but you have to go back to the roots of that plan otherwise that flower will come to fruit
so even though you have committed you have to say i do commit now and you have said that learn you have to go back to what do i want what do i want and and do i want to commit and am i ready to commit and am i am bmi committed and now that i've committed again started a new moment
if you go round and round
find your wish find your commitment make your commitment practice it and then again don't just keep practicing and practicing practically without going back to the basic root wish to keep going back to it
otherwise the practice with we lose our inspiration
under ordinary circumstances that will happen not to mention specially challenging situations
thinking must have at work for your lorry it it gives me a lot to work with but he has effectively you're welcome
hello birds
i am
i just wanted to say the lyrics that follow those lines are you saying our before the day i met you life seems so unkind your love was the key to my peace of mind
cause you made me feel
you made me feel you made me feel like a natural human
and there's another languages before i met you might i think my soul was in the lost and found and you came along to claim it yeah
so every morning in a way our soul is in the lost and found
you know our bodhisattva soul every morning we wake up where gov martin the sun's not shining
i'm souls in the lost and found will go to the lost and found and claim it
it's it's in the cost and found you said gotta go get it it's in there
and then you claim it as they want my god i want to practice i want to practice caring for everything okay
and you the energy know i want to go back to bed okay
get up again
go get your soul go get yours go get your wow
but again before your vow is is a wish
the bow in the wish or not the same thing you can wish for something but not be ready to commit
you have to find something that so important that you'll commit to it
that was an energy to keep going on this practice is coming from and also that where she's coming from the practice so the practice leads to the realization leads to the wish leads to the vow leads to the energy needs to the practice round and round
every morning
now if you wake up and you'd and your souls not in the lost and found that's okay if it's right in your first
go to work but you made it to look for a little while to find it
that's good work looking around the lost and found

and he is that isn't enough bert for now oh yes as fine the cast has jewelry day he he's good great he is dharma splitting wood a slippery word now jail
ah yes begun that we have some more people here is halima hama
hello rad hama hama hama
thank you for offering us again and again the teachings
you're welcome thank you for listening again and again
i love it my question is i was i was picturing the vow and then the realization
and then please
don't skip the practice yes sounded that that thou practice realization or isn't the vow realization practice so i see like in the whole foods now you can switch him if you want to but usually is usually we say practice realization but you could say realization practice to
bow practice realization bow practice realization but you could also do bow realization practice because realization and practice or really one thing
six him thank you and i need help here because ice when i i i experiment realization that realization actually gives me energy to renew my vow and then the practice without the realization i become
dark i'd become like like a mesh we all kind of doing doing doing but with the realization actually it makes it the whole whole circle wholeness of it yup that's right now okay then are you also mentioned about a dollar if you if you're realization
isn't functioning fully enough to be pumping out lots of vows then you probably should go back to the vow again and practice more so your realization will produce more vows so they're actually then it's a cycle right now really happening at the same time yes so thank you because you're rich
xpand was the respond to my next on a question that i was an iv couldn't understand still unclear now thank you
you're welcome
ah next we have joss
i'm so i just not the sorry long time listen yeah hundred like a couple of years
the part of what you said about the beginning has struck me and i'm i'm just trying to reformulate my question because i was listening to the other people in between
you will talk about caring for everything like we will care for buddha and on
yeah it's about so i can see the practice or though i find it difficult of caring for whatever i'm doing you mentioned the garden i can see out my window right now a bed that needs weeding so caring for that weeding
as awakening i can see that and then often as i'm in my everyday life caring for my everyday life there's also something that's in me that needs caring for that once a different everyday life and so my question is about caring for my everyday life and caring for the a part of me that once
something different and how i care for both of those
yeah do they seem mom often in conflict and yeah i can see they both me caring for i yeah
okay so we got a garden in you're caring for the garden near than we have this special plant called
i want i want my like to be different yeah that's another garden yeah and then we have another garden or another flower which says taken care of the garden and taking care of my wish to have things be different does turned god
yes another sentient big and m i t i would want to take care of my garden
my wish are thinking that things need to be different and also thinking that those two are in conflict
i want to eat care of each one of those
in it both as take had to taking care be
take care of them as
awakening and take care of them as i would take care of awakening
so of course i would be very kind to awakening right so i'll be don't shoot my garden that way now we have this thought i want things to be different i'll treat them like i would treat awakening
i would be a servant to that to that thought
i would be devoted to the thought i want things to be different
here's another one i don't want things to be the way they are as another one
i would want to serve that thought the way i would serve my beloved teacher the buddha
again i don't try to improve the buddha then i don't try to improve my garden and i don't try to improve the thought i want things to be different i don't try to improve that i i tried to take care of it and by taking care of that god i want to
to be different
i realized that that thought i want things to be different is neat is not the slightest bit different from awakening
it's not suffer from awakening and it's not conjoined to awakening
it's totally not different not separate
they don't take care
of my thoughts like i don't want to practice i don't want to do this practice i want to better practice i'm a different practice if i don't take care of them and i'm just missing an opportunity is not the end of the story is just a missed opportunity and also if you don't take care your garden it's a missed opportunity if you don't take care of
other people's nastiness or your own it's a missed opportunity to do what to take care of that illness and so he i'd just like you would take care of buddha like buddha said
when josh is sick taken care of josh
if i take care of me when when joss is uninspired when josh is resistance when josh is not accepting what's going on taking care of josh is taking care of buddha as a buddha said
anna josh's i don't believe that taking care of that josh is taking care of buddha
he care while everybody the way you would take care of buddha unless by alicia had you wouldn't take her buddha compassionate wish and don't take care of people that way
what's coming up for me and i'm hearing a lot if i can only do that when you said moment by moment if i can only do that moment by moment because otherwise the idea i've got about my life as it is on the idea i've got about how i wanted to be different
i can be with all that in one moment or otherwise the ideas are taking be a charcoal in different directions or sunday i saw the yeah yeah so part of what i said also was
set of your seat right now yeah without any elaboration
an elaboration in terms of elaborating now and to past and future
but again that's a hard practice so you need inspiration and energy to do the hard practice of being in this moment and taken care of what you already have been given
he needed his spirit that takes energy
thank you
the next was linda eight
old age like as a house i ah can hear me get me out okay with you ah yeah oh harriet on
the moment in your talk that flows the most moving to me
grant made my lower lip start trembling
and it was a thought it's it felt so deep that i kind of can't remember it so i'm gonna ask you if you would say it again and it was about the ah
maitreya asked the first year kept saying the buddha doesn't abide in anything we were saying that right okay then the my trail asks what does the buddha abidin right
what does the bodhisattva yeah in the great vehicle
abidin and depend upon yes order to practice
yeah association of the buddha
and then the buddha answers
abiding in the teaching and of diagram abiding in the teaching and vow and then you said something you said something like an impossible thing that's what made me start to tremble and ah it it was the good and that's how the boot
a abides know wasn't abide in anything by abiding in the valley is that what you said yeah so we abide in the vow yeah to practice like buddha which is to a practice not abiding
the buddha or bodhisattva in the buddha's they have a mind which doesn't cling to anything doesn't abide to anything it cares for everything without abiding in anything that's the buddha's mind in order to practice that mind of the buddha's we need to have
abide in the bows
thank you and there's two translations of that little conversation
not to translate to basic versions ones from we don't have the sanskrit anymore
so we have to button and chinese so the tibetan says
that the bodhisattva buys in and depends upon
the vow
to teach the dharma
and realized authentic awakening
so in the tibetan the vow applies to both the the realization of authentic awakening and the teaching of the dharma
with that awakening
the chinese does it slightly differently it says abiding in and depending upon the teaching and wow
so one way to look at it is in order to have this mind buddha
this difficult to attain that mind a buddha which doesn't abide in anything which takes care of all beings free of discrimination
an order to do that we need of we need teachings
and we need a vow to to apply those teachings to this to this bournemouth the other way is we need a vow to attain awakening and then we and then also the vow to teach once we have awakening so both ways are true
but the key thing is that we need this this great vibe this unshakable vow
this really strong bot which had to take care of and keep it in greeley good shape in order to use is very difficult thing which is called the buddha mind
but and yet the buddha says you guys can learn this
i residence like we said before buddha's were booed as they were just like us
they had before they were before they learn how to do this they had a hard time not abiding anything so we need a lot of energy and and an inspiration and courage to like take care of things
really wholeheartedly
without leaning into improving them
or controlling them
or you know having opinions about them whatever
but again if we do any of that leaning nose or other sentient beings to take care of
and again how do you take care of him
wholehearted devotion without abiding enough
so rent there are four more questions
is a korea
thank you so much i'm not alone anymore so i'll do my best sorry am so it's a question of cam for me a few weeks ago about compassion that i worked with people and south and they share things with the child nurgle kind of challenging things they've gone through in the war
and very extreme and i don't feel any sadness it's means i hear that levels and emotions but i
i don't feel any in our sadness i see the something bigger and exceed their way out i heard that you know is and others then talk something about it the last the grief and i don't feel it
i wonder and the question came to with me nissan
okay so this is an example it's an example here in this case is
miss glickman is you so now we have somebody who's not sad all right
right so the practice is to take care of the not sad person
take care of the not sad person and don't try to improve her into a sad person
don't try to make her a sad person take care of the and the sad person now we have somebody who doesn't feel anything now the practices to take wholeheartedly care for the person who doesn't feel anything
without trying to improve or into a feeler
but that's hard that's why we need energy to take care of even an unfeeling person even an unsaid person
and of course to take care of sad people
and depressed people and to take care a happy people
to take people who are clinging to their happiness and to take care of people who pushing away their happiness
sentient beings that you meet who seem to be somebody other yes and take your your own sadness and your own lack of sadness
grieving has its own life it doesn't it again some people try to control their sadness and control their grieving
greeting is a wonderful thing to take care of
but don't try to control that don't try to make it a lot of people feel like they're supposed to grieve now
so if somebody dies and people feel like now is the time to cry i notice a suzuki roshi died people his students were taught well enough so they didn't feel like they all had to cry the same time

some did some when he died some cried right away but some didn't cry right away some like me i cried before he died
and i was and i was looking in a mirror was crying and see what are you crying about
i was crying about him dying and he hadn't died yet
i didn't think i would be crying van but i was
the sadness comes according to a living process and if it's not coming take care of that person
and let her be the way she is
when my father died ah he was in minneapolis minnesota and i was in san francisco in the bath
and the phone was brought to me my brother told me and my father died
and i had been with my father before that
quite a bit and i felt like
every breath he took i thought was going to be his last breath and i was ready for it
but he didn't die then i went back to san francisco and again to phone was brought to me and my brother said dad died and i said okay i'm coming i didn't cry i didn't feel sad i was ready for it
and now my dad my sweet dad was dead
i didn't cry i didn't i didn't feel sad
i didn't really feel much anything i didn't feel i didn't feel like or darn i have to go to minneapolis i just thought ok here we go and i went and he was in mortuary a funeral home as they say i went ended his walked into his big room and his casket was up to and i walked up and looked in the casket and
i saw my dear sweet father and he looks so sweet and so handsome although he had makeup on still with my dad
and i burst into ah
amazing crying
just sobbing sobbing sobbing sobbing totally surprised me
but before i was crying i felt ok not drive
and when i was crying i felt so good to this unexpected
eruption of tears i was so joyful and what a wonderful father i had
and then my uncle came over and tried to control me
you hit everybody was kind of getting upset i guess scared how much i was grown in try just so as i stopped this joyful crime i stopped his joyful sobbing i stopped as great sadness and great joy from for the sake of my uncle
but before that i wasn't i wasn't sad that's who i was
cause you make me feel you make me feel you make me feel like a natural human
where natural humans but we need help to let ourselves be who we are and let others be who they are
which is not different from good

you're welcome anybody else
yes saw carolina
carolina carolina
hello that can you hear me i can hear you
it's so nice the ceo
new and to hear your teachings and to be reminded of vous i've got i've got two questions if i could have one about because i was little bit late and i didn't hear the first vow
are the one i read it the beginning yes
who i ask you to
i dunno if it's very long one but if they are belong could keep can be
can people flash that mao up in the screen for her to read so possible
and then everybody can read it again to or should i read it
what's best
this law is written by a hey dogan zen master who founded soto zen and china in japan
he wrote it it's his own personal wealth and i've said it before let me say again you all can write your own first of all you can read it we can all read it i guess i've got it a wreck i have a copy of that thanks you must that's the are ready to begin thank you
very much to i would i will find it and another another question that i have an inquiry is and then i i i lost my dog in january and tim and i sit with the vow i sustain
all life and ten my dog was ill and ended up with that and that insisted that she needs to be put down and and i wanted to look after her at home and wanted to attend to her like a buddha
and look after her and in the end of her life
but i doubt something happened and there i i couldn't follow that through as i responded to vets wish to
when euthanized my dog as is common practice but i feel weight in my heart that i did something wrong
and that i didn't follow that vow of sustaining
oh life
and then and i think this is would then
what do i do with that and i
i i i hit your teaching to invite me to sit and to attend to the weight of my heart and
and to look after it and
cut it's hard to know what what is right what is the right action

i often say and i've heard this from ah many ancient
buddhist practitioners
use this is this good what i've heard and when i often say you said quite a bit there
your you have thoughts in your mind and feelings in your heart right now is that right yes
so and one of the thought you have is did i do right
is that right yeah or maybe you have did i do wrong
is that right yeah yeah so such thoughts do occur in our minds right yeah and you have feelings of pain right yeah no

another song is maybe i'm right and maybe i'm wrong maybe i'm weak and maybe i'm strong i only know i'm in love with you
so i'm not saying maybe you are right or maybe you are wrong but you might think maybe i was right
maybe i was wrong is that right
the important thing is that you love this person who thinks maybe i was right
you love this person who thinks maybe i was wrong
you take care of maybe amirite maybe i'm wrong maybe i'm weak maybe i'm strong maybe i'm good maybe i'm bad
we're living in the middle of all this stuff
the thing is to love at all not like it love at all
and as hard he also said it's hard it's hard to love maybe i'm wrong
but love doesn't mean like love means
you don't abide in it you take good care of it you don't claim to it you take good care of so you have maybe i'm right maybe i'm wrong did i do right due to do wrong what should i do i'm in pain all these things he's are more examples
and these examples will never end
hmm will keep getting more and more examples our own thoughts about others like we might think did she do right did she do wrong did the vet to write to the vet do wrong
did my dog new right did my dog do wrong
where's my dog good with my dog bad
such thoughts can occur in this world right and they're all calling for compassion
but it's hard to be compassionate to all of these thoughts
that's when i hear over and over it's hard
and again when you wake up in the morning you look out on all that hardness you feel so uninspired you have to go back to what inspires you
which is to practice like a buddha with
dogs dying and dogs being born and buddhist dying and buddhists being born
that's dying and thought being born all this stuff
we need to be kind to den with their kindness and with that inspiration to practice kindness and nine abiding
will be able to practice that way
and that will be free of good and bad it will just be peace
and freedom
for all beings
but we didn't say it easy okay not if it's easy okay we can deal with that too
we can have sometimes thought may arise you might pay practices easy today wow
but often it's hard
often and now it's and now it's really hard right it's really hard for so many of us in a lot of people they have the the pain of not being sick
if they feel bad that they get to be healthy and got a dharma talks and other people are so sick
so that's the pain that they have they have food other people don't
so does their pain the people who don't have food that's their pay the people who do a poo food were all challenged the boot are challenged the body sought for their challenge that's how they proceed on the path is by
she's being challenged in this practice

also one of the people who are we face i see right now i want embarrassed or by telling by saying her name but i was looking at a piece of paper yesterday that had her name on it and on that piece of paper she wrote her vows
part of me wants to go find a piece of paper and reading her vows to you
but she wrote out that might be a good exercise for if all to do just sit down and write down the your vow or your vows just write it down and if you want to send me a copy i'd be happy to see it
so i want i want you to know those of you who've given me your boss in the past i still sometimes read them and i'm inspired to read your vows
and dog in x-files
and meters vow since amount of hodgepodge when i read these vows i just feel so uplifted and inspire
and i i really wish everybody could read these vows and be inspired by them so i'd share them
i don't inspire myself these the vows inspire me
they do
anything else any other questions today we have one more person a hearing yes
karen go ahead good morning i'm really first i i want to say thank you to you and everyone for creating this opportunity to come together this morning
you're welcome i'm sure they all say you're welcome
and it also a great i want to say i'm grateful to you for that you don't try to control as with you don't try to control me and i've heard for that too yeah
that's kind of an unusual situation so i'm wondering if you might have a story about how you came to realize that if that wasn't the way to go
when people wasn't a way to go
well i have quite a few but one of the most accessible ones many of you've already heard so i'm sorry if this bothers you can retell it again but this is one of them was one of the stories which really helped me i mean one of the things that really helped me
i had a dog a dog was given to me
i'm not some he says you want to start and i said yes this dog was a
a terrier golden labrador mix
so it was not a it was a small on labrador looking dog with a terrier energy
and she live with me and
you know her name was laura
i i received her around the time that the movie doctor zhivago was being shown and julie christie
name in that movie was lara
so here's my dog lara and we lived together an apartment and i had really nice apartment and up i kept it nice and clean and i kept her clean and everything was going really well and then ah
and she had never had puppies as far as i know but then i spy with my limited veterinarians training i i saw that she was apparently coming into heat
somehow that i got them i figured that out and one of the reasons i think one of the ways i figured out is because outside of our house there were lots of dogs and they're all males and they were very agitated and excited and she also wanted to go
woodside to hang out with these male dogs but i didn't want her to go outside
you know the story card
that's that's the story should i go on are you had enough
i i i think it's fun it's a good story if you'd like to tell the rest of it so i'm
so are you can tell it and i couldn't
i could give you are hit of assistance so anyway she wanted to go out and they and and the male dogs outside wandered or to come out and that was the situation but guess what i didn't want her to go out
i wanted to control her and my life i did not want her to have puppies i did not want to take care of the puppies and i tried to control my dog into
being celibate
even though her heart wasn't into it
anyway one day when the one day it happened that somehow she got off the door and those guys were waiting for her
and still i didn't give up
i called her back in the house trying to control her
and she was obedient to me and she started to come back in the house but on our way back into the house one of the dogs managed to
and without getting into too graphic details ah
once dogs enters it it's hard for them to disconnect
there are various equipment that makes it so that once they connect until they're done that it's very hard to pull apart so i called into the house and she'd also obedient to me and she was dragging this other dog up the stairs behind her
and i saw how ugly it was that i was trying to control her and i said okay go ahead
i gave up trying to controller i realized i got a little dose of seeing how ugly it is to try to control
a living being
and so that not event concluded and i didn't know but i gradually found out that not only did she have intercourse with each other dog but she became pregnant
so now and but i wasn't going to like take her to have that and have her had an abortion so anyway she proceeded in her pregnancy and as time went on she came to a place in a pregnancy where she was getting ready to deliver and her rear
iran started to ooze and secrete lots of what looked like to be blood but thicker than blood and it was dripping all over the house not all over the house all over her bed and then so i kept her in the kitchen
so that this blood wouldn't get all over my bed where she liked to go i did not want her blood on my bed
so i tried to controller and keep her in the kitchen and she stayed in the kitchen and used her own bed and when she got blood on the floor i cleaned it up
but i asked although i had seen something of the ugliness of trying to control living beings i was i slipped back into trying to control her again
it's hard not to try to control people sometimes
even when you get lessons how so silly it is
so do one day i came home and and came into the apartment and she wasn't in her bed and i went into my room and she was on my bed
and she was up on my bed and she's on top of my pillows my pillows were white
and she was on top of them
and again i'd tried to control her and i said get in the kitchen and she
and she was obedient
i tried to control her i didn't control her in the first case i didn't control and the second case and this final case i also still tried to control her and i didn't control her what she did go in the kitchen
and then i went over to my pillows to clean up getting ready to clean up the blood
and i saw these four puppies
and again i saw how foolish i was
to put my clean pillows above this obedient
beautiful creature
when i said you know going to the kitchen she didn't snarl at me so you can't do that to me and got my babies she went into the kitchen
and then i lurk okay you can come back here so she taught me and that over and over she taught me
but what i should do with her is take care of her and respect her not try to control her even library and every time i tried to control her not every time but when i tried to control her she repeatedly showed me that she would be compassionate to me so i could see how foolish i was
and ah yeah in any sense students i tried to control over the years they also show me how ugly that was
i've never been successful at controlling as and students
and whenever i try they show me how foolish i am
and then with lots of lessons and seeing how foolish i am i pretty much given up trying to controls and students
but i haven't given up trying to take care of them
i haven't given up trying to be no devoted to them but i'm not trying to control them
or improve them
hi cause
so is that it for the questions oh one more we have your own

yes road below
you're on your own thank you well said
so that the content of what you say is the and a clear understand it is a pretty inclusive white whereas the description is oftentimes or first to sentient beings are or living beings
where there's taking care or helping or a wishing well for the phrase oftentimes limits instead of all beings saying or living beings are all sentient beings can you elaborate on that phrase because he also said day care of the that the cup in the sink which is
know your lips ascension so yeah so am
sometimes we say take care of living beings and i think living things are good to take care of yes but i said at the beginning take care of everything
gay everything
living beings buddha's such why everything works better for me because i think the way some people take you can imagine taking care of buddha they can imagine okay with buddhists i don't have to control the buddha or with my kids i gotta control so i would like to take care of everything the way i take her a boot
so my own doubts and pains my children's behavior my dog my garden my friends all beings
treat them all like i would treat buddha
cups saucers
pencils pens rocks everything take care of it the way you would take care of a buddha if you're a rock worker and all day long you work with rocks and you don't take care of them the way you would take her a buddha when you get in the habit of trying to control where they go
then you switch back to people and you're your a shape your out of you're not in the flow of it so take care of everything the way you would take her a buddha so that when rocks and people show up your already taken care of things that way so you take her with no exceptions
yeah that's the message i get from you in a year and i both iraq and resonate with it however when i read euro sutras oftentimes will say ah work for the liberation of all be over all living beings often times it'll be limited like this and i was wondering why
why in scriptures it'll be limited like that a well you know ah buddhism is evolving
is evolving you know there's some wonderful sutures where they talk about women in ways that don't seem to work these days
are they talk about animals in ways that don't seem to work these days
the world's evolving and buddhism is evolving with it the buddha dharma is evolving with it and i'm not saying that i'm correcting the old the old ways
i'm not improving them
i'm taking care of the old ways and taking care of the old ways i offer new ways
thank you
in one more story is that i was working at tassajara with suzuki roshi movie rocks with him me and another young man removing these large rocks he of i think at certain points in his life he actually moved the big rocks himself and his broken finger you know if you ever seen as bro
chicken finger
one of his fingers never straightened out he broke that by moving rocks in iraq fell on his hand and broke his finger and never got straightened so what he was young he actually move the rocks but in the last year or two of his life he got his young students to move the rocks so we move in these data
rocks he would say moved the rock over here so we'd move the rock over there and then he said now move it over there and remove it over there are now move it over there and remove it over there and she now move it over there remove it now move it over there and remove it over there and one day we moved this big rock like that and we wound up right back where we started
so he was he was not into controlling his students are of his rocks but we did go through this process together right and it was hard work but it was a great joy
so he liked to work with rocks and show us how to treat rocks like buddhists

okay thank you all so much for a wonderful
meeting face to face
may our intention