I think I said something this morning, like, if we try to help other beings with a sense of separation between helping and helped, helping and helped, or helper and helped, that leads to getting really tired, I think you might have said, or leads to, gives rise to what are called... And I thought, well, maybe tired isn't the right word. Maybe discouragement is a better word. there might be some need to rest because of the work of benefiting beings might include resting.

[01:19]

The stories I've heard about the Buddha, the Buddha Shakyamuni, is that there was rest periods in the evening. He rested. The body that was made available to give teachings, in the process of moving around and eating and so on and talking, that included rest periods, often in the evening time. But even while resting, the Buddha still was doing the Buddha work. So the story I have is that although the Buddha was interacting with other living beings, the Buddha did not believe that there was a separation between or between the teacher and the student. And some of the students understood that and then became teachers.

[02:32]

So, although the Buddha's body needed to rest and eat, because of not believing in the separation between, for example, self and other, or student and teacher, there was no outflows. The Buddha's understanding, the Buddha's wisdom has no outflows. So the body needs to be at rest, but outflows actually disturb the wisdom process. and could even lead to, for example, thinking, well, actually, I don't want to practice anymore, or I don't want to help people. It's killing me. Thoughts like that could arise due to outflows, due to believing in the appearance of separation. So the beings who have ended outflows

[03:37]

They still had a body, and they would have a body if it was helpful to have a body for people to look at and relate to. That's one of the kind of bodies Buddhas have, is a body that people can see and touch and speak. in a way that people can make into words. But the liberation from the belief in separation and duality ends outflows, and ending outflows discouraged in the work. of benefiting beings. But with outflows, some beings who are trying to help beings because of the outflows might become so disoriented that they think, well, not only hard and challenging to benefit beings, but I don't want to do it anymore, or something like that, or I'm not suited for it, and so I should give up.

[04:53]

practicing. So that's why I point out the difference. Because I don't think that there's... In other words, I think it's possible to rest as part of helping people. As a matter of fact, show people how to rest. Some people actually ask me to teach them how to rest. Literally. I take care of named FrankieLing.com. She actually doesn't say to me, would you teach me how to rest? But in fact, I do sometimes teach her how to rest. And the way I teach her is by putting her in a pack in front of me, and then we take a walk. And by walking with me, finds a way to rest quite quickly usually, unless she's not tired, but particularly when she's starting to get kind of uncomfortable and wiggly and kind of struggling for comfort, it's often when she's fatigued and resting would be good.

[06:11]

She, however, her outflows are not disturbing her Her vow to benefit all beings is not yet, as far as I can tell, I don't see that it's manifested in her karmic consciousness yet. It may someday, but I don't see her thinking about giving up benefiting beings, committing to benefiting beings. But that may happen someday. But she does seem to be struggling for rest frequently. So I show her how. And so far it's been 100% successful in getting the rest she needs. And then after she rests for half an hour, 40 minutes, hour, she wakes up and she's ready to enjoy life.

[07:14]

Any feedback on today's teachings or today's meditation, I should say, the meditation I gave you? Have you been contemplating it? Have you been enjoying contemplating these teachings? Oh, yes. Based on what you just said... Are you a heavenly being? Based on what you just said, I think the moral state of humans as they are born to have elbows and have to train to not do so. That's my understanding, that as beings start to discriminate objects, it appears as though they're out there separate from themselves.

[08:37]

And the children that were here today are 15 months old. And frankieling.com is about 12 months old. And she now is able to, you know, I hold out a little piece of banana and she reaches up and takes it and takes it into her mouth. And then just last time I held the banana, she wanted to take the banana. And then she was holding it and I reached to take off a little piece for her and she pulled it away from me. Like, I'm taking care of this banana. This is going to be over here. And so it looks like she thinks I'm separate from her. Like, you're over there, and sometimes you help me eat bananas, but sometimes I have them and I don't need your help. And I'm not talking to myself. It looks like she thinks, you're not me. However, little babies often think that the thing they're looking at, which they think is separate from them, that they own it.

[09:47]

So, although they have a sense of separation, you also think that a lot of things are separate from them. They own. So that's what some people, I think, say that the baby identifies with the world, but I would say more like they think they own it. especially certain parts of it, like they're caregivers. So I think it's when it manifests, I'm not sure. But, like, yeah, I'm not sure. They start discriminating objects. But I think more or less by the time they're born, they just about do it. But I think the objects are so foggy or diffuse that it's hard to, like, it's hard to say that that diffuseness is separate from me. It's hard to see how articulated that is for them. And I've often told the story here of the Zen master Guishan teaching his younger brother and student, Xiang Yan, you have to learn from before you were born, from before you could distinguish objects.

[11:06]

And I think one translation says, before you can distinguish East and West. So I'm not sure at what point this ability comes up, but it is innate, I think, and pre-verbal, I would say. there is a kind of, I think, sentimental view of children that they're perfectly enlightened Buddhas, because they're so beautiful, one might think that, and they do sometimes act like Buddhas, but also Buddhas act like children. So, like, If somebody says, hello, and you say, hello, you're just acting like a Buddha, probably. Usually it would answer the question. So I think children maybe look like Buddhas, but right after they look like Buddhas, then a moment later they act like somebody who's really frightened of somebody.

[12:18]

really unable to cope with their process and really possessive and things like that. So I don't really think that even Shakyamuni Buddha wasn't born a Buddha. He had to do a little bit more work to become a Buddha, but not much, just 29 years of work. And then he served as Buddha for the next 35 years. He had to work for 35 years to enter Buddhahood, to finish his evolution to Buddhahood. And before that, he manifested some of the characteristics of sentient beings in his life, in the same lifetime. he showed some separation, like he felt some uneasiness with old sick people, he said.

[13:30]

I'm not sure it was in that lifetime, but maybe it was. There was some sense of separation from beings, which he recognized as silly, But it was still, that illusion was still there. And I'm not absolutely sure that he was referring to his present life, but it seems like he was. OK, thank you. Yes? We were talking about cultivating energy. Yes. I didn't ask you how to cultivate energy. Yes. And I was wondering if we could ask you now. Sure. So among the basic six principles of bodhisattva practice, the fourth one is called energy or effort. or enthusiasm.

[14:37]

It's effort, but it's kind of like, it's an effort and it includes a cultivation of the energy. It's an effort to cultivate energy for effort. And the root of that, the root of the energy and the root of the cultivation and generation growing of the energy is aspiration. So if you aspire to, for example, be upright or calm or generous, that aspiration, if you look at that aspiration and think about that aspiration over and over, energy starts to develop.

[15:40]

Just by thinking about, yeah, I actually would like to do that. And think about it in a way that's possible because you've just practiced generosity, ethics, and patience with your life situation. So you think about that, but not in a, like, I'm not forcing myself to to do this, I actually aspire to it. And think about it, think about it, and the aspiration gets stronger, and the energy starts to develop. And you get more and more enthusiastic the more you think about doing good things, and you start thinking about how good those good things would be. And the energy can become quite intense, and you can also think about the aspiration to now, after practicing these first four, now to practice concentration. Concentrate on many meditations.

[16:44]

One basic meditation is meditating on benefiting others. In other words, developing a concentrated mindfulness and steadiness and flexibility meditation topic. But since our mind is a karmic consciousness, even bodhisattvas have karmic consciousness too, karmic consciousness, one of its characteristics is, you may have heard me say, giddy. Karmic consciousness is very alive, but it's alive to such a point that it's giddy, that it tends to be excited to the point of disorientation. So you have the aspiration to benefit beings, and you also know that even this aspiration to benefit beings occurs in karmic consciousness.

[17:46]

So the aspiration occurs in a situation where being disoriented from that aspiration is quite possible. So then you might say, well, to protect against the disorienting power of this consciousness? And the answer is, after practicing generosity and ethical discipline and patience, now you can generate the aspiration. If you have the aspiration to develop something that will protect it further, the thing that will protect it further is to be concentrated, to be focused, and also a focus that's flexible, because a rigid focus will get pushed around by the giddiness. But an open, flexible focus you can get spun around by the turbulence of karmic consciousness and still stay upright.

[18:49]

Or you can get flipped around and lie on your feet again. So I often use the image of surfing. You can get so that this board can be rapidly changing, and things are flying all around you, and you can be open to all that information and relating to it, because you're open and flexible, and still be upright. And we need energy to... We have to really want to do that because it's very challenging to be tranquil, focused, flexible, open, in the midst of the turbulence of our mind. And how good that would be, you might think, I really aspire to that. And as you aspire to it, you think, yeah, it really would be good. And then you feel better and better about it, and then you give yourself to that cultivation.

[19:53]

But then again, after you have been doing the, for example, practice, and now that you're doing concentration, that energy doesn't go on forever. You actually have to kind of, on a daily basis, or almost like a period of meditation basis, you have to sort of, not to say, the bell rang for meditation, What was my aspiration again? Because, you know, you sat the last period, but then maybe you forgot your aspiration. If you forget your aspiration, maybe your enthusiasm for practice is not so strong. So you say, Oh, yeah, just a couple of hours ago I really thought it would be a good idea to sit in meditation. So some of you maybe come to Noah's board and you think, it'll be nice to go to Noah's board and sit quietly.

[20:56]

And then sometimes you're in Noah's board, you sit quietly. Good, I actually like this. This is great. And I think I'd like to do the rest of this period, actually. And if there's another one, I think I'd be up for it. And then it ends, and the bell rings, you're doing walking meditation, and you say, oh yeah, and I also like to practice meditation. But if you don't remind yourself, sometimes you can, because of the karmic consciousness, you kind of, how did, sometimes people get in these meditation retreats and they say, how did I get here? What am I, you know, and some young people say, what am I, I got a life. Just sitting here. And some old people say, I don't know how much time left, what am I doing sitting here? You know, people, their karmic consciousness can kind of like question any kind of good by basically reorienting the whole setup. And I have often thought,

[21:59]

Looking back, I thought, it's amazing that a man in his early 20s would want to spend his time sitting with all the other things that a young man can do, or a young woman. It's just amazing that I would do that. And how did that happen? I wasn't really forcing myself. And then oftentimes after I was sitting, I thought, oh, that happened, wow, another period. And I actually kind of wanted to do another one. But sometimes when the bell rang, I kind of thought, well, I don't know. I wasn't working on my aspiration when the bell rang. So when the bell rang, I thought, well, maybe later, maybe not. I have other things to do. But if you're working on your aspiration, the bell rings, you say, oh, yeah, it's time to do what I want to do. Now I have a chance to do this. like I recently retold the story of going swimming to Ocean Beach in 1968.

[23:03]

I went swimming and then I had trouble getting back and I tried to get back and I tried to get back and finally I realized that trying to get back was just going to kill me. I was just going to probably drown if I kept fighting to try to get in. I wasn't getting in, so I kind of gave up somehow. I don't know how that happened, but I think that's what happened. And I got moved down the beach and brought in. And then at some point I felt my body hit the sand. I was getting turned around. And somehow I wasn't drinking water much, I guess. Somehow I was doing that without inhaling water. but I was getting put under the water and hitting the... Some body intelligence protected me from swallowing salt water or inhaling it. And when my body hit the sand under the water, I kind of woke up.

[24:05]

Oh, sand, you know. And then I thought, if that happens again, if I hit the sand again, I didn't think... I didn't go immediately from sand, my body hit the sand, oh, I'm going to try to get... I didn't think that. I just thought, well, that was kind of a gift, some sand, you know. Where I was before, there was no sand that I knew about. It was just this big ocean. I thought, if my body hits the sand again, I'm going to push with my legs. I didn't even, I forgot about swimming. I'm just going to push with my legs. And then I did hit the sand again and I pushed. And I did that several times, but the aspiration arose. I lost it. And it was in some ways good that I lost the aspiration to swim, but then I got the aspiration to push with my legs. And I kept doing that and got in shallow water. My aspiration was rediscovered. But in the turbulence of life, we sometimes forget our aspirations. And then suddenly we get a gift, a little touch, and we go,

[25:14]

Where am I? Oh, yeah, right, I'm in the water. And I remember before I went into this kind of, not exactly unconscious, but very relaxed kind of surrender to the ocean, before I went into it, I had the thought, of course, maybe I'm going to die and I can't really do anything about it. But I have a feeling like, probably, maybe I have something more to do in this. Hit the sand, I thought, oh, yeah, well, maybe I'll make the effort. So I did, and I rediscovered my interest to try to live, to do something, which I couldn't remember what it was, but I felt that there was something. I didn't think... I did think about my funeral ceremony. I thought, you know, what are they going to say about me at my funeral ceremony? I guess I thought, probably I should have lived long enough for them to have something to say, because right now there wouldn't be much point in having a ceremony. And I still feel like that, so I'm sand.

[26:21]

When it's available. So I actually do go back and check my aspiration. And when I do, I always feel like, yeah, that's a good idea. And then I feel I'd like to make some effort in that regard. And then sometimes I do it quite a bit and get really worked up. And it's almost as worked up as karmic consciousness is worked up. And then you can practice. You need to do it over and over. You need to recreate it. And the way you create it is by contemplating your aspiration. Now, if you lose your aspiration, then you do what I do. You sort of say, I had an aspiration once. I remember I had one, but I don't remember what it was. Then you just, you know, be patient with that and say, hmm.

[27:25]

Yeah, it would probably be good if I remembered it. What would be good about it? Oh, because then I would have some energy to, and also remember what I want to use my energy for. If I don't remember it, probably I'll be kind of disoriented, I'll just be disoriented, and that probably wouldn't be so good. Actually, I think what I aspire to is to find some orientation in this disorienting mind. Oh yeah, there it is. I wish to be present and upright. I do, yeah. I actually would like to. Oh yeah, I A while ago, I thought that many times, and every time I practiced that way, I really felt good about it and never regretted it. I'm back on board. The being upright, the being upright ship, the happy ship of concentration and focus on the aspiration to be upright with all beings. And then, and forget it again. What was it? And then maybe sometimes you remember really quickly. And when your energy is really strong, at that point you don't forget so easily.

[28:35]

When it's weak, you lose it, but you can replenish it. So it's an ongoing practice in the bodhisattva repertoire. We shouldn't expect that we're going to be enthusiastic without reigniting that flame. It doesn't mean it went all the way out, it just means a little bit of it's kind of flickering in the wind almost blown out. Sometimes you get blown out and you have to wait quite a while to find it again. But when it gets really strong sometimes just your life circumstances make it keep flaring up. So, you know, some situations like very talented people calling for help, you know, sometimes that makes it really easy to be present. Like people sometimes say in these situations where somebody's... Like, I just read that what's his name, Walt Whitman, when he was in the hospital in the Civil War with all the guys, he said he was never so present as that time.

[29:45]

He said it was really easy to really be totally present with all that suffering around him. And that became a resource for the rest of his life, he said. And the poems he wrote about when he was working I heard were the only poems he didn't revise. They were so bright and clear that he couldn't, after he got out of the hospital, he couldn't do any better than he. So I think he was in a state of really great concentration. So the poetry he wrote, caregiving, the caregiving was calling so strongly that he didn't get distracted. But sometimes we don't hear the caregiving clear enough and we get kind of disoriented again. Sometimes the karmic conscience doesn't say, please, please, please be upright, we need you to do this. But you can imagine if people were standing around you all the time saying, please be upright, and saying, you know, you'd say, oh, okay.

[30:52]

And then again people say, When I'm in this place around me saying, please be upright, or silently saying, please be upright, by then trying to sit upright, I can remember being upright. And then when the people go away, I sometimes have trouble remembering. But I think when he was in the hospital, really the call was very clear and he was very concentrated. And when you're giving birth to children, also that's a case where if they don't take any or don't take much pain medication, they usually don't get real distracted, especially during the, what's it called, don't tell me, during that time particularly, they're not daydreaming too much usually. And so during that time, some of them experience the clearest, most concentrated time of their life. They're very painful, but the pain is also not letting them get to .

[31:59]

They really are concentrated. And also, you could say they're flexible. Some part of them has been extremely flexible. And that's why it's so painful, because they're stretching. And that stretch is bringing their attention to that. And birth and death are right there. So they're like really paying attention to karmic consciousness. And that's a great moment in their life, even though it's very difficult. And sometimes afterwards they don't really feel like, can we do that again? But then, I guess after a certain period of time, they think, oh, that baby's so cute, I want another one. So we have to work on energy cultivation is a very important aspect of the path to Buddhahood. Thank you for your question.

[33:02]

Thank you all for taking care of this practice place and for using it to contemplate various meditations. May we meet again on the path to freedom and peace.

[33:21]

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