Fear, as a noun, is a feeling of alarm or disquiet caused by expectation of danger, expectation of pain, expectation of disaster, a dread. As a verb it is to be afraid or frightened of something, to be anxious or apprehensive about something, to be in awe of something or to revere something or to suspect. So part of fear, again, is It's about something, something over there.

[01:05]

And also it's about the future, expectation. It's not about, like if somebody's, if you're in pain, it's not about the pain you have, it's about the future of the pain. It's about how much longer is this going to last. So one of the things that happens when you practice sitting meditation a lot is that if you get uncomfortable and you think about how much longer is this going to happen? How much longer is this period going to be? Or if you're doing multiple days, If this day is hard, how about seven days or ten days? And you learn, most people learn from this kind of experience, that if you're having difficulty and you think about how much longer it's going to go on, the difficulty flares up.

[02:10]

So you kind of learn that the easiest way to be with your difficulty is to be with it now, just the present moment of difficulty. is much easier to deal with than thinking about how long it's been going on or wondering how long will it go on. Thinking about how long it goes on is not as much usually like fear as thinking how much longer is it going to go on. So part of the way to work with fear is to see if you can come to the present, see if you can be afraid in the present. And so in a sense I feel like fear is very much about the future, but anxiety I think you might be able to feel even if you don't think of the future. And anxiety is a state of uneasiness.

[03:16]

Actually one definition of anxiety is a state of uneasiness or distress about future uncertainties. or the cause of such a state. In psychiatry they sometimes refer to an intense state of fear or dread lacking an unambiguous cause or a specific threat. To be anxious about something vague, something unknown. Another meaning of anxious is to be eager for something and anxiously awaiting the arrival of my Christmas presents. The root of the word anxiety is to be tormented or choked or supplicated.

[04:24]

The root of the word for fear is an old English word which means danger. Anxiety is a little bit more emphasizing being choked, and fear a little bit more about some other power. So one's a kind of feeling of being constricted and the other's about some other power. A little bit more like that. Slightly different state of discomfort. And in a way, anxiety's the more, I don't know, the more basic in a way. And as I mentioned, in traditional Buddhist literature, it speaks of often five fears. And they're often put in terms of loss. fear of loss of livelihood, loss of good reputation, loss of control, loss of life, and speaking in front of large groups.

[05:43]

So these fears arise from thinking of the future. I'm going to lose my job I have, I'm going to lose the reputation I have, I'm going to lose the mind I have, I'm going to lose the life I have, or I'm going to lose all of them if I talk in front of a big group. And so they're also all related to other. Now you could say, well, I might also fear of losing my mind. That's not other, is it? In a way it is. Because I feel like I have to have my mind in order to deal with other. It might be okay to lose my mind if everybody would take care of me.

[06:52]

If I keep getting my livelihoods to have a good reputation in my life, I wouldn't necessarily have to have this mind. I could have a different mind. I often wonder how would I practice if I got this condition called Alzheimer's, where I kind of lose my mind, lose the mind I have now. So in a sense, you know, people might still take care of me even if I had, if I lost this mind, people might still take care of me if I had so-called Alzheimer's.

[07:59]

What would my practice be? How would I practice the Buddha way if I lose my mind? What is the Buddha way again, basically? What is it? Realizing that we're ignorant. Well, not just realizing it, but understanding that we're ignorant. And not just understanding it like, okay, I understand, I'm ignorant, but understanding ignorance. That would be the Buddha way. And understanding ignorance, to understand ignorance, is the same as the immutable knowledge of Buddhas. So when you understand that, that would be the Buddha's way. What else is the Buddha way? What's another way of putting it? Being present in reality. Being present to reality. Yeah. Well, we are present to reality, and then when you're present to reality, what happens? Separate from others.

[09:03]

Well, that's reality, because you're present with the reality that you're not separate from others. And then when you're present with that, what happens? Changes. Yes. You forget the self. You're present with reality, you forget the self, and then what happens? Hmm? You're able to be in the pivot. You're able to be with pivot. You start leaping. You start turning. You can turn. You can dance. It isn't just that you're present with reality. You can live freely then. You can interact with people in this free way. So if you lose your mind, If your practice is turning and leaping, you can continue to leap and turn even if you lose your mind. If your practice is turning and leaping, you don't need a mind, a particular mind to turn and leap.

[10:13]

As a matter of fact, very smart people have trouble turning and leaping because they're holding on to their excellent mind. And they're afraid to lose their mind because their job depends on it. And they think that if they lose their mind, they'll lose their job. You know, like a lot of people, if they lose their mind, they would lose their job, the job they have, probably. A lot of jobs, people will not keep paying you if you lose your mind. But if in your job you become present to reality and you enter into the turning in your job, then even if you get fired from your job or lose your job, you can continue turning. The Buddha way is not about holding on to your job. It's not about keeping your job and it's not about losing your job. What's it about?

[11:13]

It's about not being afraid to lose your job. And it's also about not being afraid to have a job. It's not about having or not having a job. It's about not being afraid to lose a job or get a job. Or I guess it'd be not about not afraid to lose your job, or if you're unemployed, not being afraid of employment. In other words, it's not being afraid of change. It's not being afraid. And when you're not afraid, then you can turn. The Buddha way is basically turning. The spiritual work turns, or the spiritual work is turning. The spiritual work is leaping. Leap, leap, leap. And so, if you tune into leaping, you can have the mind that you have now go away, and the leaping practice can continue because You don't do the leaping.

[12:17]

I don't do the leaping. You don't do it. It happens. Actually, you are leaping right now. You are turning right now. You're not making it happen. I'm not making it happen. But us being together, it happens. So I'm looking for the practice of turning so I don't have to worry about keeping my mind, which is going pretty simple. But the turning, you know, whatever happens there's turning. One of the places where I found the list of these five different types of fears is in a section of the scripture where they're discussing the practice of giving. or the main practice of discussion in that section is the discussion of giving. So I suggest that in the practice of giving is where you overcome

[13:22]

these fears. These fears are listed but then they're also said to be overcome. They're overcome in the extreme joy of giving. In the extreme joy of the practice of giving, the fear cannot live in the Fire. In the fire. In the fire of giving. In the fire of the joy of giving. In the fire of leaping. The fears cannot live there. One of the things I wrote down here a while ago was, in the practice of being upright, I wrote that we give our body, we surrender our body, we relinquish our body and mind.

[14:46]

We're sitting, we sit, and then give our body away, give our mind away. An example of that would be, you know, I could say that being upright and being balanced, I could say that the masculine will give up its power and the feminine will give up its nurturing. I wrote, actually, that women will give up, will surrender nurturing, and men will surrender power. But, you know, we can say, not make it so sexist, and just say that the feminine will give up its nurturing and the masculine will give up its power. We'll give it away, we'll surrender it. And the feminine, giving up its nurturing,

[15:50]

will also open to power and authority. And again, the word danger has the root of power and authority. And the masculine will give up power and open to nurturing. And if you have some power and you think of giving it up, you might become afraid will happen if I don't hold on to the power. Or if you're nurturing, you might be afraid to surrender it. Like if you're a mother or a father and you're nurturing a child, you might be afraid to give away your nurturing, give away your nurturing. Who will take care of your children if you give away your nurture? Relinquish it. Give it away. What was the point of that again?

[16:53]

Why would I be giving away my nurturing? Isn't nurturing a good thing? Yeah, it is. Fine. Now give it away. And what's the point of giving it away? Pardon? So you can leap. Yeah, so you can leap clear. And also so you can move towards power. I heard this woman say one time, who studies, you know, domestic, well, studies incest and sexual abuse in the family, and she said that men need to become more nurturing and women need to become more powerful in order to protect. If men are nurturing a baby soon after they're born, it tends to reduce the level of the incidence of incest by a great deal. When you nurture something from early on, the nurturing seems to naturally make you feel somehow that it's inappropriate to have sex with them when they're children.

[18:05]

That's why when you bring a stepfather into the situation who didn't know their child when they were a baby, is much more likely to see them as a sexual partner. But if you are there right from the beginning and enter into a nurturing relationship, incest is less likely. But also, the females, the mothers, or the fathers, but anyway, the mothers in particular, need to also move more on the power side in order to protect against incest. And I say protect against, yes, but also be liberated from it. But not just themselves, but also to protect their children, because some women, because they feel no power, don't dare to stand up to the men who are into power and not into nurturing, or men or possibly other women that are abusive also.

[19:13]

Leap free of your nurturing and open to power. Leap free of your power and open to nurturing. And then leap free of the nurturing and open to power. Round and round, everybody should be turning. But at the interface of turning, of surrendering what you're familiar with, like surrendering, nurturing, you get scared. What will happen to my children if I give up nurturing? It doesn't mean you'll stop being nurturing. It just means you give it away. Just surrender it. Just drop it. And then if you think of dropping this nurturing, then you get scared. But then there's the interface. That's the place to work. Can you surrender? In the surrendering, you will get over the fear. Surrendering doesn't mean throw out the window. It means give it away. Give it away. And feel the joy of giving away what's most important to you.

[20:20]

And notice that that cures your fear and sets you turning. It's reminding me of the yin-yang symbol. Uh-huh, yeah. Turning, turning, and out of the black part comes the white light. It becomes then, you know. Yes, it's like the yin-yang symbol. And the yin-yang symbol is the symbol of what? What's it a symbol of? Life and death. What? Doubt, no? Did you say doubt? No, doubt. Oh, it's a symbol of the doubt, yeah. It's a symbol of the way things work. What did you say? Interdependence. It's a symbol of interdependence. What did you say? Life and death. It's a symbol of life and death. Love and hatred. Love and hatred, yeah. It's a symbol of the way things work. It's a symbol of the Tao. It's a symbol of the way that things are, turning on each other independently. But how do we enter?

[21:26]

Well, one of the main ways to enter is enter by giving. You enter this process by giving, by surrendering, by relinquishing. And if you can't relinquish what's most important to you, like if nurturing is very important to you, if you're really into it, you don't have to start with that. You start with something else, just to get a feeling for the joy of giving. And then in the joy of giving, practice it until you can feel how giving develops fearlessness. Yes?

[22:46]

Could you say something about being unilateral versus bilateral versus fearless? Not versus fearless. How does fearlessness develop in... Yeah, I think unilateral means, you know, one-sided, acting one-sidedly. And bilateral means acting on two sides, right? So I think that when we're afraid, we often, I guess, when I'm afraid, I might think, well, I have to act unilaterally because I'm afraid of what it would be like to act bilaterally. People might not, if I check with you about things, that might make my life more complicated. You might disagree with me Or you might not like me if I tell you certain things I'm considering doing.

[23:51]

Does that make sense? If I check with you so much. Pardon? If I check with you too much. If you check with me too much, then what? That sort of thing, like who I am to... You're okaying who I am. Did you say if you check with me too much, you give over who you are to what? Kind of you're approving who I am. Oh, to me approving. Yeah, okay, that's a good point to bring up. No, I'm not talking about checking with people to get them to approve of you. That's not being bilateral. That's being unilateral on the other side. You know, getting them to approve you. The approval's over on the other side. Practicing bilateral wouldn't be to get the person's approval.

[24:55]

That's not bilateral. That's unilateral. On this side, I want to get your side, approval from your side. It hurts you. But bilateral means to do things together with people, to do things together with people, not to get approval. Over on this side now. For me to check with you about what I'm doing so that you can get approval, that's very unusual, right? For me to check with you about what I'm thinking of doing so that you can get approval is not very common, right? It's not very common, right? It's like, you never even thought of that before, did you? It's like people don't think that way very often. Huh? Well, it's going to be convoluted, but there's no point. People are not going around concerned that they would check about what they're doing so that the people they check with get approval.

[26:02]

What if you're buttering up your boss and, you know, You butter up your boss. Well, if you check everything with your boss, then you make them feel important and powerful, because they're indecision for who they actually are. I see. But you're really what you're doing that for. When we say butter up, we mean to get them to like you, right? But we're talking about checking with people with the idea that they would actually get approval, not that you would be acting like you respect them or something, but you're actually checking with them so that they would feel approved of, that they would get approval. I think it's a good exercise to try that. But the point is anyway that... Checking with people so that you actually are entering into doing things together with them, relinquishing doing things on your side alone, giving that up, does not mean you're doing that to get their approval.

[27:16]

Matter of fact, you would be giving up trying to get their approval. in this process of you be checking as part of the process of giving up trying to get their approval. Because usually we check with people about things that we, you know, if we want their approval, we check with them about things that we think they would approve of. Or we tell them about things we're doing to get their approval, like, I'm thinking of doing this good thing. for you or somebody else. And we tell them that even before we do it to get some approval from them. That's not giving, that's trying to get approval. You look like you don't quite get this. It's hard, I think.

[28:20]

It's only a fine distinction, but you've got to start turning to get this. So you started to turn into the idea of checking things with people, but then you kind of got stuck when you thought of, well, I'm checking with them, but I'm trying to get approval. If you're turning, if it's giving, you're not trying to get anything. You're giving. Doing things bilaterally, again, is plighting your troth to the other person. You think something would be good to do, so then you tell this other person this thing you think is good, but you don't do it to get their approval. You do it to endanger your idea. Yes. Yes. But if you keep telling someone, I'm going to step off the cliff now, do you think I should step off the cliff?

[29:24]

Yeah. But sort of bad-assing is the scary part. Well, you could talk to somebody about something scary that you're thinking of doing, like Rowan. Is that the name? Rowan. So Rowan used the example of jumping horses. So you could talk to somebody about something that you see that's dangerous, that you're somewhat a little bit afraid of doing. And then in addition, you could check it out with them, and then that would be dangerous too because they might not agree, and you may not like them not to agree. That may be difficult for you if you're talking about something that you're a little bit afraid to do, but you may be a certain amount afraid to do something, but you may be equally afraid of them not liking you to do it. So although you're not trying to get somebody's approval, you still may be somewhat afraid of getting their disapproval.

[30:33]

So I'm saying to jump horses bilaterally would mean, whether you're afraid of doing it or not, but anyway, it is dangerous to jump horses. But to do it bilateral means, first of all, you do it bilaterally with the horse. And you talk it over with the horse. And also talking it over with the horse is something which some people will be afraid of that too. But you might also talk it over with your spouse or with your children or with your parents. You might talk it over with them. But that's dangerous because they might not agree with you and then it makes it more complicated. And if you don't ask them and then you do it and they don't like it, at least that you didn't ask them and then tell you they didn't want you to do it. But if you ask them and they say, we don't want you to do it, and then you go ahead anyway, that makes it more difficult.

[31:45]

Maybe. But being bilateral, you actually ask people who you think might not agree with you about something. You want to do something, And you actually talk to them knowing that they might not agree with you. You don't talk to them to get approval. You talk to them to endanger your truth to them. The bilateral is to endanger your line to them. Talk to the line and show them your line and say, what do you think? And do that. What's the reason for doing that again? Hmm? To realize we're not separate. What else? Yeah, overcome fear. You know, overcome fear that if you tell them you might not be able to do what you want to do because they might not like it or they might try to stop you.

[32:50]

Or fear that they won't like you even bringing it up. That they might hate you even for suggesting it. What about hearing from others possibilities that you haven't thought of? Well, that would happen, too, if you put your truth out there. Would I be fearful? Why would one be fearful of that? Why would one be fearful of it? Yeah. Because you think that you want to do this thing, and then if you hear other possibilities, you won't be able to do it anymore. That's the way people think sometimes. They want to have an ice cream cone, and they talk to somebody, and then the person tells them possibilities, like, you're going to get cancer if you eat an ice cream cone. You know? So, you know, giving you more information.

[33:52]

Sugar's not good for you. Don't eat that ice cream cone. It's bad for your health. You know, wouldn't you want to know more? Wouldn't you want to have more information? Well, no. Then I won't be able to enjoy that. And also, it's got a tremendous amount of cholesterol in it. It's going to bad your veins. You're going to have a heart attack. I just kind of wanted to have an ice cream cone. Now, because I shared it with you, now I can't enjoy it anymore. I'm still going to have it, but now I'm going to be having it, but it's not going to be as much fun because I know I might get cancer and have heart failure. It did. It did. So just if I want to do something, don't talk to anybody about it because it's going to cut into my phone. This is a sort of depressing idea of what people can come up with. I mean, you know... Yeah, a depressing idea. I mean, people can come up with also very good possibilities you haven't thought about.

[34:54]

Well, I just... That was a good possibility. We just used that. We went through that already. You want to have ice cream cone, they're telling you good possibilities. Like don't eat the ice cream cone is a good possibility. You didn't think of not having the ice cream cone. They said, I have a good idea for you. Don't eat it. You never thought of that. It's a very good thing. Not eating ice cream cones is very good. It's a very good possibility. I would never ask anybody. Huh? I wouldn't ask. Yeah, right. You wouldn't ask. But not asking again is like curling up in a ball. Opening yourself to life means being willing to ask everybody about everything you do, but not to get their approval, but to open. Open to something, open to what is most obnoxious. Because if you... Huh?

[35:55]

Yeah. Open to what's most obnoxious. If you open to what's most obnoxious, you also open to what's most wonderful. If you close to what's most obnoxious, not to mention closing to what's a little bit obnoxious, if you close to what is a little bit obnoxious, that will be sufficient to close you to what's most wonderful. But most people, a lot of people don't close to what's a little bit obnoxious. They're open to what's a little bit obnoxious because they realize that being open to what's a little bit obnoxious lets some life in. What is it? What's the root of the word anxiety? To be suffocated, to be choked. Because we don't want to feel this, because we don't want to have these obnoxious people in our life, because we don't want obnoxious people in our life, we contract and we start feeling suffocated because we don't want obnoxious people in our life. What we want is to have not, we want to get rid of the obnoxious people without feeling suffocated.

[36:58]

But closing to obnoxious people suffocates us. Opening to obnoxious people, you can breathe People who are open to obnoxious people and also open to beautiful, very attractive, unobnoxious, delicious people, opening to everybody, then you can breathe. Closing to some people, you start to be choked. But opening to obnoxious people, if you think about it, it's kind of scary. Like, you know, opening to them is fine, but to let them take over my life entirely? Yeah, open to that. Doesn't mean they're going to. Just open to it. Open to obnoxious people totally inundating you. Be surrounded by the most obnoxious people. Just open to that. And then, all the obnoxious people, all the most obnoxious people are still in the world with you. You're not afraid anymore.

[38:01]

That's the only difference. They've all been there. I mean, not They're always there, and then they go away, and then they come back. They're constantly changing, you're constantly changing, but the most obnoxious people is always the most obnoxious people in every moment. Sometimes they change places. Sometimes somebody who thinks really great then becomes the most obnoxious. But anyway, the most obnoxious situation is always the most obnoxious situation, and if you open to it, you will be fearless. If you close to it, you'll be somewhat fearful and anxious. So, if you're thinking of doing something, you want to do it unilaterally, then don't open to anybody, don't open to nice people, don't open to obnoxious people, don't talk to anybody about it. But if you want to, like, when you do something, open up, just say, I'm thinking of doing this, everybody, what do you think? and then you get all this obnoxiousness.

[39:03]

Yes? Yes? Back there. What's your name again? I think I might figure it out, but... Yeah, you look like I did. She's going... I've been trying to think of this all day, practically how to... about this way of teaching that work, where you could not... where I perceived a lot of obnoxiousness. And so... I mean, I could be fearless, but I still have to deal with all the hurt and pain. That's what feels hard to do. That's all right. You're open to it, but you still don't want to deal with it, really. I mean, you're still annoyed by it. I mean, it just feels like repetitive pain, you know. Repetitive pain. Right. Could it be open? It hurts. oh then they hurt me i mean you know people have traits that they're embedded in that are going to necessarily change yeah yeah so i don't know if i can just like feeling the pain now like you were saying earlier it's going to be um you know strong enough to maybe you know face it again repeatedly okay so what i'm proposing to you is that you are

[40:19]

you are open to pain. You are not fully defended. That's the way you are. And I'm just sort of saying, since you are vulnerable, why not be friends with it? It's not going to make you get hit more, hurt more, or hit more. Okay? And I have no idea that it's going to make you hurt less. What it's going to do, if you open to it, is it's going to open the doors of fearlessness. If you close to your vulnerability, then you're going to be vulnerable and afraid. But you are vulnerable. People at work can hurt you. I'm not talking about you going and asking people to hurt you. I'm talking about open to the fact that they can. When they are hurting you, then I would suggest you open to the fact that they are hurting you.

[41:26]

Being hurt is not quite the same as vulnerable. It's that you can be hurt, that you're not defended against hurt, that we mean by vulnerable. When you're actually being hurt, that's just called pain. Well, I feel like I recognize when I'm being hurt, but maybe what I'm not doing is accepting it in advance. Or being fearless about it or something, so that it always becomes another, like a jab instead of a scene. Yeah, right. Exactly. So, you know, it's like, it's like that you're always in a battle. You're always being attacked. You're always being hurt. And if that's the mode you're in, then you're not going to be afraid. A peaceful battle.

[42:34]

Pardon? A peaceful battle. A peaceful battle. Yeah, right. A peaceful battle. Because if you're being hurt and you're closing to it, Then you're going to be afraid. You're going to be getting hurt. You're going to be in a battle. You're going to be hurt. You're going to be in a battle. You're going to be resisting it. And you're going to be afraid. And then if you're afraid, then you're going to hurt people. You're going to be violent. Not all the time, but you'll always be at risk of violence. So we're always at risk of being hurt. But if we're fearless, we're also at risk of violence. However, if we are fearless, we can be nonviolent. Now, I just said if you're fearless, you're at risk of violence. But in a way, when you're fearless, even if you're at risk of violence, you still will be nonviolent, even though you're at risk of being violent.

[43:43]

Part of being fearless is to be at risk of fear. Part of being really well-established and nonviolent is to be fearless. But again, if you're fearless, you're also willing to open to the fact you may slip at any time. You may slip at any time. You may slip at any time. You may make a mistake. You may become violent. You don't need to be afraid of flipping. Again, if I'm in pain, then I suggest that I heal the pain, I open to the pain. If I'm in danger of being hurt, I suggest I open to the danger of being hurt. I don't say go have people hurt you. By the way, this Chinese character, the one that means danger, if this is the one that means danger, it's actually originally, this is like a cliff here, this part here, this is a person standing at the edge of a cliff.

[45:01]

So you're always, we're always standing on the edge of a cliff at work. Whenever we go to work, we're always standing at the edge of a cliff. Whenever we go into our own house with our own family, we're standing at the edge of a cliff. We can always get hurt, and we can always hurt them. It can always happen. There's always that danger at the edge of the cliff. And that's not the whole story. The other story is if you can be there, there's an opportunity. What about if we cannot be perfect? I mean, there is the possibility of being perhaps hurting somebody. No doubt. Okay. I'm thinking of hitting somebody who is persecuting you so that he stops. Okay? So, I mean, obviously... I have a problem. I'm thinking of something that's making it hard for me to concentrate.

[46:05]

And I'll let you start talking after I say something. May I? Yeah. I'd like you to raise your hand before you talk. Would you mind? No. Okay. Go ahead, raise your hand. I raise my hand now? Yeah. What would you like to say? Because I kind of didn't hear what you said. Start over, please. What? Start over, please. I was thinking of how one could be not being... So perfect, that is, in dealing with fear, to overcome one's fear about a person who is intimidating you with their power, you may hurt them, not profoundly, not killing them, but you might hurt them by hitting them so that they stop intimidating others, not just you. Is that a possibility? Because it would be very hard for me not to do something.

[47:07]

So I think I need some help as to, you know, what measure of not hurting is possible for us? I don't know what measure of not hurting is possible, but it is possible to actually 100%. in a given moment, not want to hurt. That is possible. One hundred percent. One hundred percent. Wish, want to not hurt. That is possible. But even while I wish not to hurt anybody, I still could be sitting here really sincerely wishing not to hurt people, but still people find me obnoxious, you know, and it just hurts them. You know, like I could have bad breath or have bad body order, That could happen, and I could be full of love for all beings. People just could find me painful to smell. Just, you know, it really hurts them. The smell of me hurts them. I could have a disease, you know, that I can't do anything about at this time anyway, and I'm full of love and don't want to hurt anybody, but I do hurt people.

[48:15]

But your example is an example of somebody's being intimidating to you, So they're being intimidating you, and you say you want to do something to them so they won't intimidate others. No, first of all, in order to overcome my fear of them intimidating me, I think, or not think, I hit them to prevent them from continuing to arousing fear in me, and so I stop them. Yeah, so to hit somebody, to get them to stop arousing fear in me, I don't think works very well. I think it would be better for me to find a way to... But, you know, you could do that. You could try to hit somebody as a technique to help you overcome your fear of them. That might work. But then what are you going to do when a bigger person comes? Well, this person was bigger. No, what are you going to do when a bigger person than that comes? You know, eventually you're going to get somebody that's so big you're not going to be able to hit them.

[49:20]

So hitting people could help you not be afraid of them. Well, I give that as an example. Well, it's a good example. But it might be better to say to someone, would you please stop intimidating me? And they might say, I'm not intimidated. I'm just being myself and you're intimidated by me. And you might say, that's a good point. So I don't think it's... If somebody's acting in a way that I find intimidating, But if somebody follows you with a knife and shows you the knife, would you think that that is fantasy? Or are they trying to, are they doing something? Some people see a person with a knife who says, I'm going to try to stick you with the knife now. And some people do not become afraid of that. Yeah, but I do. I'm just saying it is possible not to be afraid of a real danger.

[50:21]

I'm not saying there's no dangers. I'm just saying that in some cases you see a danger and you don't become afraid. In other cases you see a danger and you do become afraid. So you're saying you have a person here who for whatever reason you feel afraid of. I'm not saying the person isn't dangerous. Let's say most people say, I think this person is dangerous. This person can hurt you. This person can step on your foot. This person can spill hot water on you. This person can accidentally or on purpose dropped that sharp knife on your foot. This is a dangerous person. Everybody's dangerous. So your example, I would just say, is usually the case that people are dangerous. You didn't say dangerous. You said intimidating. But I don't say that people are intimidating. People aren't intimidating. People are dangerous, not intimidating. We are vulnerable to other people. they can hurt us. That's not the same as if they're intimidating.

[51:23]

The intimidation comes from my way of seeing them. And if I am closed to danger, then people are intimidating to me. If I'm closed to obnoxiousness, then people, obnoxious people, are intimidating. It's my closeness to the pain, to the obnoxiousness, to the irritation, to the danger, my closeness makes them intimidating. But they're not really intimidating, they're only intimidating because I'm closed to them. When I become open to them, they're no longer intimidating. When I become open to them, they are dance partners, dangerous dance partners. So to hit somebody because I'm closed to the danger of them doesn't make me fearless. Usually, what makes me fearless is to say, there's a dangerous person, and open my heart and my mind and my body to them.

[52:33]

Then I become fearless. That's what I'm proposing. A big person coming at me with whatever that can hurt me. Now, how can I open to that danger? That's what I'm talking about. Okay? Yes? Can you give some examples of open behavior? Open behavior? To someone that is dangerous. I am aware of my close behavior. Okay, so let's take bad breath. Somebody comes near you and you maybe feel like they might have bad breath or you actually got a whiff of bad breath. And when you smelled it, you felt kind of like... It's painful to smell it. Something in your body says, get away from it. Okay? When you actually smelled it, that was uncomfortable.

[53:38]

Now, without necessarily moving your nose near to them so you can smell it again, but just try to get in place and be open to smelling them again. That would be open behavior. You're opening to it. You're not necessarily asking them to come close and breathe this difficult-to-smell breath on you. So are you friendly to them? Yes. But not friendly to get them to come and breathe on you. But you're friendly to them because you're not afraid of them because you're open to them. And you say, I don't really want them to come and breathe on me, but I'm going to try, if they do, to be open to it. And if you're open to it, I would suggest to you that you also can move away from it. If you're open to danger, you can move away from it.

[54:42]

But not because you're afraid, but because you want to not slip into what the danger is. Again, if you open to it, there's all these opportunities to spin and leap. If you close to it, you become afraid, and when you become afraid, your possibilities start to close in, and then you may or may not survive well. I can't say what the likelihood of things going well for you, but even if you survive, you're surviving in fear. And again, when you're in fear, then you're not only having fear and some difficulty, but you're also now more likely to slip into violence. to hurt the person, to hurt people around, even to hurt people who aren't even related to the present problem. The violence can spread all over the place because of closing to what's happening.

[55:45]

Did we take care of your thing yet? I think I understand, but that's the case. How do you relate that to people being pretty jacked? How do I relate to it? I mean, is that an aggressive act by society to people? I mean, when we talk about stopping things and that we're not being open, if we could stop things. I can't really say about society. I just would talk about myself. Could I ever put anybody into jail having that come from and have that be nonviolent? And I think it might be possible to put someone in jail as an act of nonviolence. It might be possible. So somebody's being whatever, they're doing something, and it seems like it would be good for them to be restrained or confined. You might have that thought. But today the question is, is this person doing this thing which you think would be good for them to be confined so that they couldn't do it,

[56:54]

Is your view of them that they should be confined coming from fearlessness, or is it coming from fear? Is it kind of like, you know, I'm not afraid of this person who's doing this, and I think it would be good to tie him up. But I'm not afraid of him. And I do not feel violent towards him. Like with my grandson. So we're in Chinatown in San Francisco. and we're walking down the street, you know, and he wants to go into the street. And I don't want him to go in the street because it's so dangerous there. But it is dangerous there, and it's going to continue to be dangerous there no matter what, but I don't want him to go in there and get hurt. This guy can be hurt very easily, very easily to hurt this guy. I mean, you think like, Cut a banana in half and he'd just totally get crushed.

[57:57]

Very easy to hurt him. Can't avoid hurting this guy. But I particularly don't want him to get hurt by trucks in the street. So if he wants to go in the street, I want to somehow have him not go in the street, even though he wants to. I want to interact with him in such a way that he doesn't go in the street, but I don't want to just overpower him, which I, in a sense, can do. I want to nurture him I want to nurture him. But I have power, too. So I have power and I have a nurturing, protective thing and I have power. How do I work with that? And how do I not let my fear of him getting hurt turn into violence towards him? You know? You can be so afraid of your kid getting hurt that you get violent with your kid. And then, of course, you hurt your kid. Worse, in a way, than getting hit by a truck. Because it's you that did it. out of violence. At least the truck didn't mean to hurt them, probably.

[59:02]

So I was really having a hard time finding a place there where the real-life situation of danger and a real-life situation of power and nurturing. I wanted to protect him, and at the same time I could just overpower him. So to find a place where I was giving up my power and also giving up my nurturing. And dancing with him in that place was very challenging. And he didn't go in the streets. And I didn't overpower him. Touch and go. It's very easy to overpower him because he's a lot smaller than me. But soon he's going to be bigger than me. So I'm trying to develop a way that won't need power to interact with him and find a way But in a sense, sometimes it's good to tie that guy up. It might be good to tie that guy up. But I might tie him up not to be violent. And, yes?

[60:03]

You were talking about working bilaterally. You talked about before you're doing something, you ask someone to talk to them. Does it matter what you actually do, though? Because when I think about it... It matters, but there's tremendous opportunities in what you do. One of the opportunities is that you will do, you check things with them and you will do sometimes what they don't want you to do. So when I'm training people as priests, I work closely with them and I ask them to talk to me about what they're doing and they sometimes say they're thinking of doing something and I sometimes say, I don't agree with that. But that doesn't mean that they can't do it. If someone, if they're in training and they do something good but don't talk to me about it, that's not appropriate. Because they're supposed to discuss with me the things they're doing. But if they are thinking of doing something and they talk to me about it and I don't agree and they do it, they're still in training because they discussed it with me.

[61:09]

they put their truth in plate to me, and in fact, I didn't agree. And they said, okay, I'm still going to go ahead with what I think is good. And I say, okay. Not okay to the thing, I don't agree with the thing, but okay, you're doing the practice. You're doing the practice of becoming fearless. Part of becoming fearless is to go to your teacher and tell your teacher you're thinking you're wanting to do something, knowing the teacher might not agree and have the courage to go and have someone who's who's a power in your life say no and have the courage to go and get that no and say thank you very much for that no that really has helped me and i'm going to go ahead and do it and a teacher might even say no but the teacher doesn't say no the teacher doesn't say no to get you to stop they do it to help you even become more fearless really nice, nice strong no, can you stand up in that no and say, thank you, that's great.

[62:18]

I can feel the danger. And then the opportunity is the opportunity of actually training with someone in the Buddha way. But whether you do the thing or not, The important point is it doesn't come from fearlessness. And if you stay away from someone who might disagree with you, then if you do the thing, even if it's a good thing, it's coming from fear. So then this person feels bad about you doing this from fear. But if you come and they disagree and you do it from fearlessness, even though they still disagree with the thing, they're very happy you did it from fearlessness. where does sacrifice and compromise fit in? And, for example, how do you make an intention? Supposing you did compromise and didn't do something because it is a discreet belief, or fear, or because you actually cared about and wanted to compromise or sacrifice?

[63:23]

Yeah. Well, one time, one of the first strong examples I had of this was someone came to me and told me that he was being given an all-expense-paid trip to Switzerland. And I said, thank you for telling me. Let me think about this. I immediately didn't feel good about it because I'll tell you why. But I didn't say no right away. I just said, let me think about it. What I really meant was, let me see if later I feel against it the way I do now. But actually during the time between when he first told me and later in the day, I clarified the reasons why I didn't like it. So this was a person who had a certain responsibility in the temple. And he was chronically complaining that he was behind in his work, you know, too much work.

[64:24]

And also, coming up quite soon was this big training thing that was going to happen, and he had a lot of work to do to prepare for it. Now the person who he was going to go on this trip with happened to be his partner. So the setup was that she was going to go on this trip and somebody else was going to pay for his trip. So what was going to happen was if he stayed and she went, he would have a lot of free time to catch up on his work. Not to mention the fact that even though she didn't take up all his time, if he went to Switzerland, that would take up all his time. He would not be doing any work for six weeks. So he was behind, plus he would get six weeks behind, plus a huge bunch of work would be waiting, would be coming up right after he got back.

[65:25]

So he would get way far more far behind, plus a new wave of work would come, so he would come back and be inundated and totally miserable. On the other hand, if she left, not only would he be there for six weeks to be able to work, but he would be able to catch up on his work And then when this big wave came, he would be able to meet it. So I saw him later in the day, and I said, you know, I still feel, I still feel, I thought about it, and I don't feel good about you going. And he actually got kind of angry at me, even though he asked me. And I told him the reason. And then later he came to me and said, I'm not going to go. And I was afraid that the reason why he was not going was because I didn't agree, rather than he saw the reason I had and agreed with me. But later I found out that it really was that he came to the same conclusion.

[66:30]

But it's tricky this, especially with somebody who has a lot of influence in your life. In some sense, you don't dare even open to them because you're afraid that if they don't agree, you'll lose sight of what you think is appropriate. So that's part of the trickiness, is can you actually, like, go there knowing that that's one of the dangers, is that their disagreement will, like, influence you so strongly you won't be able to see anymore how you feel about the situation. That would be one of the dangers that you'd have to, like, come and face. And then you have to look to see, now, did I just slip into, like, closing my eyes to what I want to do because they didn't agree. So it's a very tricky thing. And so the other person on the side of the relationship has to look to see, did I just overwhelm them? Did I just make them confused about what they felt? So that person can also, when somebody brings you something,

[67:33]

They're being bilateral, but you can also be bilateral in the way you answer them. You can say, how was that when I said I don't agree? Does that make it hard for you to see what you want? Coming back, you also do the same thing. You say, I would like to say this to you now. How do you feel about that? So it isn't like just one side's being bilateral. But it's tricky. This is something to learn how to do. But you're not going to learn how to do it unless you practice it. And when you're beginning to practice it, you'll probably be a little awkward. It's a new dance. Endlessly, it's a new improvisational dance. And you can get better at it the more you practice it. But at the beginning, it's going to be awkward, probably. Unless you have beginner's luck. Neil. So it sounds like anytime you endanger yourself to someone else, you endanger that person to yourself.

[68:45]

Yes, but also when you don't endanger yourself to other people, you endanger the other person too. When you're defensive against people and treat them as though... If I meet you and I close to how you endanger me, if I close to that, that's a new type of danger you have to deal with. Even if you don't close to other people, you're still a danger to them. But if you do close to them, that's a new danger. Because if you close to them, you become afraid of them. If you become afraid of them, you're now potentially You're going to be violent with them. Danger, danger, danger. Power. All around is power. And you're part of the power, too. You're a power in other people's lives. They're a power in your life. And closing to the power, closing to the danger, just closes down our opportunities.

[69:56]

But not really. Just it feels like that. And the way it feels when you start closing down, or the way it feels when you start feeling like you can push things away, is it feels like fear. It feels like being stuck, it feels like being paralyzed. It feels like not spinning, and it feels like not dancing, and it feels like not leaping. Really you are leaping, but because you feel like you're closing, you feel like you're not leaping. You're not really closing, So somehow we have to find a way to dramatize what's really happening rather than what's not really happening. Dramatize light rather than death. Dramatize giving rather than taking. We don't really take. We don't really take. So stealing things is enacting the misunderstanding of the taking thing. So we say don't steal because stealing is like dramatizing ignorance.

[71:00]

So don't steal. Give. Because giving is true and stealing is false. Stealing is not true. You do not take things that people don't give you. The universe can stop giving you something if it doesn't want you to have it. When you give something, it's actually because it's being given. So don't ruin that by taking it. Don't destroy something that's coming to you by stealing it. So when you steal, you're overlooking how that thing was given to you. And if you can't see how it's being given to you, practice giving. And if you practice giving, you can see how things are coming to you. But this is scary. I have a question about the feeling of guilt. Yes. And because in my own life, this seems to be something I've been working with.

[72:08]

It seems that sometimes I lose sleep at night over feeling like I maybe hurt somebody. Yes. And not intentionally. And maybe I, you know, ask for the forgiveness or try to connect. Either they refuse it. Can I ask you a question? Yeah. Do you ever lose sleep over hurting somebody when you did intend it? Yeah. Yeah. Well, this is the example of when we didn't intend it. But yes, also when I hadn't intended it. And I've just been kind of contemplating it today with the discussion. It seems like it only has something to do with fear of loss of reputation. Very likely. Say something more about that? So you, like, I don't know what, you're You're interacting with people, and you feel like you hurt them. And you could be afraid that since I didn't mean to hurt them, but since they do feel hurt by me, they might go and tell a bunch of other people that I hurt them.

[73:14]

And then those other people might hurt me in revenge for what they heard of me hurting that person, especially if those other people really love that person. That person comes and says, Jennifer really hurt me. And maybe they don't know you didn't intentionally hurt them. She really hurt me. How did she hurt me? Well, she went out to the movies with somebody else instead of me. But it really hurt. And you did go out to the movies with someone else instead of them. You didn't mean it to hurt them, but it did hurt them. It hurt them terribly. Can you imagine that people feel terribly hurt by somebody going out to the movies with somebody else instead of them? People do. Children feel that way. You have two children. The father and mother take out one of the children and leave the other one at home. Could the one left at home feel terribly hurt? They could. And I'm not denying they're hurt.

[74:18]

They do feel hurt. It's a real hurt. We are vulnerable to being hurt like that. Of somebody... I kept talking that song... You give your hand to me and then you say goodbye. I watch you walk away besides the lucky guy. You know? She doesn't mean to hurt me. She gave me her hand and said goodbye. That was nice, but then she walked away with him and I'm really hurt. And then I tell people, Jennifer really hurt me. I tell you, that really hurt. So you may get in big trouble, and I'm going to tell some other people that you weren't nice to me. There's a lot of things. Loss of reputation, loss of life, many get killed for it. Loss of your job, you might get fired. People sometimes get fired for not going out with somebody.

[75:18]

These are dangers. These are real dangers. Real ways we get hurt. But also, if you open to the danger, then you also open to an opportunity. And what's the opportunity? The opportunity is to realize that that pain, that hurt that came when somebody else went out with somebody else, that that pain that came itself is the immutable knowledge of all Buddhas. you realize the opportunity of life in relationship to that pain because you're not afraid. You realize the opportunity of becoming completely free right in that pain. Pain, complete freedom. Women sometimes, when they're having the pain of childbirth, it's pain, but there's moments when they're not afraid of it, when they don't think of how long it's going to go on.

[76:25]

They just open to that pain fearlessly. And they realize this leaping. You know, ordinary women who don't have high level of yogic training, they realize a moment of fearlessness right in the middle of the pain. They're not afraid of it. And then they realize what life can be. And it's maybe the greatest moment of their life. And then it's gone. And then there's other opportunities because there's other fears. Always you can be hurt. And then if you hurt someone, if you feel like you hurt someone, and then there's a danger of what's going to happen because you hurt them, then now this is an opportunity to, like, even though it's late at night, can you Open to the danger of what's going to happen, of what can happen in relationship to your hurting them. Be open to that.

[77:27]

And then there's an opportunity of going to sleep. And there's an opportunity of staying up all night. There's many, many opportunities that open when you open to the danger of having hurt someone, even unintentionally. And if you hurt someone intentionally, then there's a danger, similar dangers, plus there's a danger of you feeling bad about doing it. In one case, you feel bad that they're hurt, but you don't feel bad about what you did. In another case, you feel bad about them being hurt, and you feel bad about what you did. And you open to that pain. That's usually my scenario. I find it hard to stay there. What do you mean? That I have both going on at the same time. I feel bad that I hurt somebody, and I'm mad at myself for doing it. And so I have both going on at the same time.

[78:29]

Yeah. So what do we do with those two? Open to them. Open to both of them. If possible. I feel sometimes like I have to work with forgiveness, too, through that. Yep, forgiveness, definitely. Forgiveness is very similar to opening. Forgiving danger. Sometimes people get angry at danger. Just when they get exposed to anger, when they get a little glimpse of anger, they sometimes, when they get a little glimpse of danger, they get angry. Because anger is easier for people to deal with than fear. Actually, there might be a little flash of fear when you see the danger, and then anger. So when we see our own unskillfulness, the fear might actually come first, and then there's anger at ourselves for being unskillful.

[79:36]

But if you see the fear... and open to the fear, or see the danger of unskillfulness and open to the danger, then you can skip both the fear and the anger. You just see, oh, that's really dangerous doing that. That can cause all these kinds of harm. Then you're there. You can also say, I'm sorry I did it. But saying I'm sorry and feeling I'm sorry, I did it. I'm really sorry. I did that thing, it wasn't skillful, and I feel sorry. But that's not fear. That's repentance. Just, that was not skillful, and I don't feel good about it. But the not feeling good of repentance, the sorrow of repentance, is different from the not feeling good of being afraid. If you do something unskillful, there's dangers when you do things unskillful. That's right. If you do things skillfully, there's danger of doing them skillfully.

[80:47]

So skillful or unskillful, there's danger in both cases. But skillful, you feel good about the skillful and you feel open to the danger. And part of being skillful is that it helps you be open to the dangers of being skillful. And also being skillful helps you open to the dangers of being unskillful. And if you're unskillful because you've been skillful before, when you are unskillful, you have the ability to open to the unskillfulness. Opening to unskillfulness is skillful. And you open to the unskillfulness and you see, oh, that causes this kind of harm. And I feel bad about causing that kind of harm. When you do skillful things, there's still danger, but it's not harmful. But even in doing things that aren't harmful, there's still danger. It doesn't take away the danger. We're still vulnerable to being harmed, even when we're doing something that isn't harmful. But when it is harmful, then open to that.

[81:50]

And you feel bad about it, but the bad feeling, the pain, is not fear. It's just you don't feel good about being unskillful. If you can catch it there, then you don't have to go into the fear, and then you don't have to go into the anger. Anger, just more unskillfulness on top of the other unskillfulness. Usually skipping the fear. But again, it's easier to be angry at ourselves than to be afraid of the consequences of our unskillfulness. But being afraid of the consequences is closer to just seeing the consequences. The best is to see, okay, unskillfulness, so now I'm in danger. And just feel the danger. I can get in big trouble for this now. That's true. You just stop there. I won't necessarily get in trouble, but I could, because that was really stupid. I'm in danger. I'm in danger here. But I'm not afraid. So when the danger comes, and when the results manifest, maybe I can do something good with it.

[82:55]

rather than, I'm in danger. Oh, no. I did something unskillful. I'm not going to look at the danger. I'm afraid and I'm going to get angry. And then start attacking somebody else because of your unskillfulness. The mind works that way, that you're going to hurt somebody, again, who you hurt before because you didn't face the danger of what's going to happen to you for hurting them, and the fear you have about that is going to anger and then attack them. Yeah? What would it be if you repeatedly opened yourself up to the danger, whatever it might be, and you were hoping to open yourself to it. And you started to anesthetize yourself to the fear. You were open to it so much repeatedly that you stopped being fearful of it, and then you just went right into it.

[84:01]

You got too close to the danger. That's not fearlessness. That would be what we call that. Because there was a point where you were, you did deal with fear, but you opened to it. Are you saying if you're in a normal situation where there's danger all around and you start opening to the danger and then you don't get afraid anymore when you're in dangerous situations? Right, whether it's a normal situation or not. I'm suggesting, and you may not agree with me, but I'm suggesting that normal situation is that you're in danger. You're normally in danger of getting sick, of dying, of losing your reputation, of losing your job, of losing your mind. You're normally in a state of losing your youth, of getting old. You're normally in that danger.

[85:02]

People think, it's only certain situations that I'm in danger of dying. But you can die any time, any place. Nobody knows when they're going to die. And you'd say, yes, right, okay. But people don't believe that. But I'm suggesting that we're normally in danger. Now, are some situations more dangerous than others? I would say, seems like it. But the ones that are less dangerous are still dangerous enough. Like, even the situations that don't look dangerous are situations where people suddenly die. They didn't look dangerous. So even though it doesn't look dangerous, it still is. If it looks dangerous, that's right. So the situations you think are really dangerous, I'd say, yes, you're right. The ones that don't look dangerous, I would say, you're not seeing clearly. So anyway, when you're in danger and you face the danger, then you kind of short-circuit fear, right?

[86:05]

And then you're saying, without fear, won't you like get kind of anesthetized? And then kind of like drift into the dangerous situation that you're saying? It's possible. That's one of the dangers. One of the dangers is that even if you become fearless, you're still... Becoming fearless doesn't take away the danger. It just takes away the fear. And they say, well, but then, won't I be less likely to slip into realizing the dangerous possibility if I'm afraid? And I don't see that that's the case. I don't see that being afraid helps humans not get in trouble. Matter of fact, I think being afraid guarantees that you're in trouble. You definitely are going to be in trouble if you're afraid, because you're going to close down and be miserable, plus be violent. But the other side is, will you be more likely to get into some kinds of trouble if you're not afraid some danger manifests? And I would say it's possible.

[87:07]

However, although if there's dangers there and I'm not afraid, although I might slip into it, more likely, perhaps, than if I was afraid, it's possible. But I don't know that that's the case. But it is possible. The thing about not being afraid is that Not that you're not going to ever get hurt, but that you start opening to all kinds of other possibilities in life. You get to breathe, for example. You get to love everybody you meet, which is dangerous. The other way is you don't get to love really almost anybody because you're afraid to. However, you're not anesthetized, you're scared stiff. So you're not anesthetized, but you will tend to seek out anesthetics because you're afraid. And one of the anesthetics is to get angry. That pushes the fear away. And violent, that pushes the fear away. And run around in circles real fast, that pushes the fear away.

[88:12]

And, of course, then taking drugs, that pushes it away. But there's problems with those things, right? and there aren't very loving activities. But it might be that, you know, the thing about danger is that the more you open to it, the more you see how limitless the danger is, the more fearless you become and the more alive you become. But in your aliveness, it doesn't mean that, oh, now you're alive, so now you're not going to get hurt. But it also doesn't mean, well, now you're alive, so you're going to get hurt more. I don't really know that the people who fully realize their life, I don't know that they get hurt more than other people. I don't know that. But they're more aware of danger than most people. The people who are most alive are the people who are most aware of danger. It's like they breathe it.

[89:14]

And before they were aware of danger, they were aware of fear. And they face their fear, and then by facing their fear, they open to the danger. They open to the fear, then they open to the danger, and then they live with the danger indefinitely. They just, you know, they know, I'm in danger of getting old, I'm in danger of getting sick, I'm in danger of dying, I'm in danger of losing my reputation. I'm in danger of some people hating me, I'm in danger of some people loving me, I'm just like in danger. the fearless people are the ones who are very aware of being in danger, most aware of being in danger. Plus they're aware of how other people are in danger. Plus they're aware of how other people are afraid. And they're also aware of how other people's fear is making it hard for people to be alive. They see all that. Because open to the danger, you're open to the other stuff. And opening... So that's...

[90:18]

That's the opportunity. The opportunity is to be fully alive without doing anything special, you know. You stand around on the planet talking to people, looking at trees, shaking hands, saying goodbye, saying hello, same old stuff, but you're doing it in a fully alive way because you're not afraid of the dangers that surround ordinary life. But the reason why you're not afraid is because you're facing them. You're facing the dangers. If you don't face the dangers, you're in denial, and you're going to be afraid. Of course, the reason why we don't face them is because we're afraid, and we're afraid because we don't face them. It's a vicious circle. The other way is open to the danger, open to fearlessness. Then you dare to live. And you don't have to do special things to live. Just walk down streets in Cleveland, Ohio, and you can live fully alive.

[91:22]

You don't have to go to San Francisco or Hawaii. Wherever you are in this world, if you open to the danger of where you are, and Cleveland's dangerous too. It's not just San Francisco that's dangerous. It's not just Hawaii that's dangerous. It's not just Iraq that's dangerous. Cleveland's dangerous. Everywhere we go, That's the case on this planet. If you go to the sun, it's also dangerous. It's very hot there. You get burned up. Problem. You're in danger of getting a tremendous sunburn if you get near the sun. But if you open to the danger, you can open to the whole living wherever you are. That doesn't mean you're not going to get hurt. The Buddha even got hurt. So if Buddha got hurt, you'll probably get hurt. But could you get hurt and feel fully alive when you get hurt and not afraid of more hurt?

[92:26]

I say, yes. I say you can be hurt and somebody say, excuse me, but we need to turn up the hurt a little bit here. Can you deal with that? You're kind of like, No, I cannot. I can't deal with any more pain. That's the most I can deal with. You say, okay, we'll just leave it at this then. Thanks, I appreciate it. You know? But you're not afraid. And you can say, you know, you don't have to talk to her to tell her, yeah, I can take more. You can be who you are. And then tomorrow I will talk about the practice of being who you are as a way to become fearless. But I'm not saying there's no danger of becoming numb and falling into a pit.

[93:28]

There's always that danger probably. But first of all let's get to fearlessness and see how it is. And when we get there we'll say, okay now we're all fearless, are there still some dangers around? Yes. Do we have any new dangers? Probably Are some of the old ones gone? Yeah Might they come back? Yes Might the new ones go? Yes Are we up for danger? Yes Are we begging for danger? No But are we open to it? Yes. We're open to it. Are we fearless? Yes. Do we dare to breathe? Yes. Do we dare to meet anybody? Yes. Do we dare to go help anybody in whatever situation they're in? Yes. If somebody calls us, can we say yes? Yes. If somebody calls us, can we say no? Yes. Are we free?

[94:33]

Yes. Can you prove it? Yes. Are you afraid? No. Are you in danger of becoming afraid? Yes. Might you become terribly afraid? Are you in danger of being terribly afraid? Yes. Are you facing the fear that you'll become a coward? Yes. Are you a coward? No. Could you be a coward? Yes. Are you in danger of being a liar? Yes. Are you in danger of being unfaithful? Yes. Are you in danger of making mistakes? Yes. Are you afraid of making mistakes? No. I'm open to the possibility that I'll do something really stupid. Does that make it less likely that I'll do something stupid? I don't know. Can you be open to not knowing? Yes. Can you be fearless that you don't know?

[95:36]

Yes. Is it dangerous not knowing? Yes. And so on. Like that. Meditating on danger, meditating on vulnerability. It's our normal situation. It's not unusual. But we live in a society that says, you're an American, therefore you should not be in danger. Right after 9-11, the Secretary of Defense said, now Americans go out of their house and they look right and left because they think, you know, they're not sure, they're not sure, I'm not sure they're safe. And I thought, good. He said, it's not American. In America, you should be able to go out of your house and not have to look right and left and fall down the stairs. In America, the stairs don't.

[96:37]

We never had collapsing stairs in America. You're safe. You can walk out the door not needing to look around. Just close your eyes and walk out and nothing will happen. Well, to a certain extent that's true, because even if you fall down the stairs, you will be supported by all beings. The whole universe will support you as you fall down and break your neck. But there is a danger that you'll break your neck in America. So walking out and looking at the danger all around is part of seeing how everybody's supporting you. It's part of not resisting receiving. You're being given dangerous situations every moment. That's a gift. And you're a dangerous person and you give yourself to everybody. And if you realize you're a dangerous person, that's good that you realize that, because you are. You can hurt people. So be careful of yourself, your dangerous self.

[97:40]

But don't be afraid of it, because that will make it harder for you to be careful of it. Does that make sense? Carrying some dangerous material is you. You're a dangerous item. So be careful of it. But being fearful will just make you shiver and shake and fall onto somebody and hurt them. So try to relax with and be at ease and fearless with how dangerous you are. Doesn't mean you still won't hurt people, but I think it will go better that way. Try it for the rest of your life. Let me know how it works out. I think it's a good idea myself, but I don't think it's easy to remember to do it all the time. Because we actually do like to be anesthetized and kind of feel safe.

[98:48]

Because when we feel safe, we can relax. And I'd have no problem with relaxing. It's just that I'd rather have you relax with not being safe. I'd like you to be able to relax in danger. We need more people who can relax in danger, because danger is the actual situation. People can relax in vulnerability rather than relax in invulnerability. You mean I'm completely defended and nothing can hurt me? Oh, then I can relax. Okay, that's fine. Now, would you come with me now that you're relaxed? Let's go someplace where you're in danger. Come on. Okay. Let's go. And we go in there and say, you're still relaxed? You're still open to this? Yeah. See the danger? Yeah. This is great. I've extended my relaxation and my feeling of ease into an unsafe situation. So if somebody can't stand to see danger, I would say, well, let's bring them someplace that they think is safe.

[99:53]

And now they can relax. Okay, now would you come with us to a more dangerous situation? Yeah. Yeah. and open, you know, let them see the reality. But if they're just unable to face it, then do it later. And little kids sometimes can't face danger. They just go into, you know, they have a fit. So I said, okay, that's all right, you're safe. Okay. So hush, little baby, don't you cry. Because daddy and mommy are standing by. And then, OK, now let's open up to the real world.

[100:58]

Now that you're more relaxed. That's why we have sitting meditation in between these scary talks. Would you like to have a little bit more sitting and walking again today? Yes? No? Okay, let's have some walking meditation and some sitting meditation. Start with the walking. Oh, boy.

[101:39]

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