I begin by saying something which is kind of fundamental, take away kind of, and kind of take away kind of simple. Zen practice, Zen enlightenment, has two basic parts. Zen practice enlightenment has two basic parts. One part is going to a teacher and listening to the teaching or going to a teacher and asking about the teaching or going to a teacher and listening to the truth or asking about the truth.

[01:02]

The other part of Zen practice is to just sit upright. Or the other part of Zen practice is called sitting meditation. Those are the two aspects of Zen practice enlightenment in this school. By this school I mean this is my understanding of the family tradition from which I am born. I don't know if you meant to come here today to listen to the teacher and ask about the truth, but in a sense that's what this ceremony here is about, is I'm playing the role of the teacher and I'm offering you teachings.

[02:26]

And especially today I would like to offer you teachings about the other part of practice which is called just sitting. And another simple kind of presentation is about the just sitting. And in a way it has two parts. One part is sometimes called cleaning the temple. And the other part is just sitting per se. One part of the practice of just sitting is cleaning, tidying up body and mind. The practice place. The physical temple, which is, you know, the valley, the zendo, is our body.

[03:37]

And then there's a body which has skin around it. Tidying up the whole valley, tidying up the body and mind. Putting it in a nice tidy posture, on a nice black cushion. sitting it up nice and erect and relaxed and open, washing your hands and feet before you come and do that, taking care of your mind and body and breath so it's all kind of tidy and clean and clear. part of the practice of just sitting. And human beings seem to be able to do it. They have problems with it but they actually seem to be able to sit.

[04:39]

They seem to be able to wash their hands and feet and brush their teeth, put on their robes, sit upright, and again tidy up their body and mind at the sitting place. Human beings seem to be able to do this. This is a human activity. And this human activity gets us ready for the actual practice, which is not separate from human activity, but which human activity does not reach The actual practice is not something human beings can do. But it is something, fortunately, that human beings can leap into

[05:51]

They can dive into it. They can walk into it. They can wade into it. They can dive into it. They can vow into it. They can be devoted to it. They can be dedicated to it. We can be dedicated to the actual practice, which we call in this school, just sitting, zazen, and so on. And we call it just sitting partly because it makes a connection between the human activity of tidying up the body and mind in the sitting posture and the actual practice of Buddha. We give the name of the actual practice of Buddha the same name in a way that we give to our human activity. Because they're not separate. One week we can dream we do, like a lot of other things.

[06:56]

The other we can dream we can do too, but I'm here to say today it's a dream, a big dream, it's a big mistake to think that you can do the practice of the Buddha. But it's not a mistake to think that you can donate your life to it. It's not a mistake, as a matter of fact, That's a wonderful understanding. We can give our life, we can donate our life, our body and mind to the Buddha way. This sitting practice, this just sitting in this school is the Buddha way. It is the Buddha. It is the Dharma. It is the Sangha. It is the triple treasure. Our sitting practice is the triple treasure. It is Buddhahood. It is the supreme truth.

[07:59]

It is the community in peace and harmony. That's our actual, that's the practice of this school, which I cannot do, which is beyond anything I can do. But I can dive into it, and so can you. It is not something, it's more like a realm. It's more like a world of peace and harmony that you can dive into. However, speaking for myself, sometimes I don't feel ready to dive into things if I haven't checked to see if I turned the gas off in the stove. Some people can't sit and leap into the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha, unless they've tidied up a bit. Some people are wonderfully, they don't need to tidy up much. They can be drooling and have, you know, not actually having washed their hands and feet.

[09:04]

Their robes cannot be, their robes are not loosely bound and arranged in order. And yet they just leap. It's wonderful. Most of us have to get a little bit tidied up. Otherwise, our untidiness may distract us from, what was it again that we were going to do? Oh, I was going to practice Zazen. But I can't right now. I have to think about airplane reservations at the end of the practice period. I have to think of tonight and tomorrow and my uncle. And I really do have to think of that stuff. Well, tidy up. And when you can set your uncle on the shelf and the plane reservations on the table, then maybe you'll be ready to, okay, one, two, three, enter. Enter the practice, the practice which fills the entire universe.

[10:10]

The practice which is helping all beings. The practice which is in the context of helping all beings. One, two, three, leap. If you're not ready, well, tidy up a little more. It's the practice which is filled by the whole universe. Buddha Dharma Sangha is the practice enlightenment which is filled by the whole universe and fills the whole universe. It's the practice which is the same practice and the same enlightenment as all beings and you. That's the practice in this school. That's what we call Zazen in this school. But we do need to clean up sometimes before we're ready to leap. we need to ask our husband and wife and children, I'm going to go to the Zen Center now, is it okay with you while I'm there if I leap into the Triple Treasure, if I enter the practice of all beings, would that be alright if I come back this evening?

[11:23]

And they say, yeah. So okay, I feel ready. The practice of the school is beyond all human action. But we, practically speaking, we need to do some human actions to get ready to leap beyond human action. So we have this nice day today where you can tidy up your body and mind moment by moment and then if you feel present and ready you can enter the practice which is beyond all human agency. Again we have this limited ritual form of sitting and walking and bowing and chanting and serving and being served. We have these limited forms, limited human forms to enact

[12:34]

what is not human action. We have limited human forms to embody and enact the activity of the Buddha, which is not reached by these forms. But these forms realize it. And there's no other way for us to realize it than this form. these forms. Any form, actually. But sometimes it helps to do a form where you have some comrades who can feel invited to help you remember that what you're doing is not reaching what's important to you, but is realizing it. So I'm offering you this teaching about what the sitting practice is.

[13:38]

Clean in the temple, enter the triple treasure. Was that simple? This morning we chanted the Lotus Sutra chapter 16 verses, the verse section, and there's a part of it where the Buddha says, although I'm always close, they don't see me. This is Zazen talking. This is the Buddha part of Zazen talking. Zazen can talk. And it says, this Zazen beyond human agency can speak. No words reach this Zazen.

[14:47]

You can talk to it, but the words don't reach it. And the Zazen says, although I'm always close to all these Zen students, they don't see me. But if they want to see me, if they want this Zazen to be realized in this world, and they really give themselves totally, they will realize me, they will see me. This Zazen is always close. These Buddhas are always close to each of us. That's the word from the Buddhas. They don't say, I'm always far from you. They say, no, I'm always close to you. I'm never any place else but with each of you. That's what Buddha is. That's what Zazen is. It's what's always close. But we don't see it. But once again, if we want to, if we're ready, if we've tidied up enough, and I'm actually somebody who needs to tidy up quite a bit before I'm ready.

[16:02]

And the tidying up I really enjoy. I don't feel like it's like I'm wasting my time and I'm in a hurry to enter. Because the tidying up also is a way that I realize where I'm going. Or I should say, the way where I'm going is realized. So when we're sitting actually, tidying ourselves up in this posture, taking care of our body, taking care of our mind and our breath, that actually is completely close to what we want to realize, very close. It is realizing it. So while we sit today, you may be able to give yourself to the teaching that the zazen of all the Buddhas, the zazen of all beings, the helping of all beings is close if you can just open yourself, let it in, and let yourself fill it, and let it fill you.

[17:26]

This is a good day to do it, since it's today. So again, in this school, the Lotus Sutra is teaching us what Zazen is. And when we say the Lotus Sutra, when human beings say the Lotus Sutra or tell the stories of the Lotus Sutra, when they say it, this is a limited human action. which readies us and enacts the Lotus Sutra which is beyond human action, the Lotus Sutra which is the eternal universal truth of the world. When we say Lotus Sutra, that enacts and embodies the Lotus Sutra.

[18:30]

I just thought someone might say, Lotus Sutra. That's the case, Lotus Sutra. Wow. So was that simple? Nobody's saying yes. Was it simple? Was it simple, Joe? Not really. Not really? Not really? with the simple Haley? Not so simple? I failed. I failed at simplicity yet again. So maybe some of you came here today and listened to the teacher. I don't know, maybe you did. It's part of the practice.

[19:38]

You might have done it. You can do it. And maybe some of you came here to ask the teacher or a teacher a question about the truth. If you did, you're welcome to do so. And you can do it. And we'll help you. But if whatever you've got to do doesn't work with that practice, it's a lovely day anyway. Thank you.

[21:24]

So the Buddha and the Lotus Sutra talk to us? Could I ask something? Yes. Can the people in back hear Stephen? I guess they can. Okay. The Buddha in the Lotus Sutra spoke to us about lots of things, like expedient means, about how he sometimes uses expedient means and says things like he's dead and he's really not, and things like that. Is there ever a time when the Buddha speaks to us that he doesn't use expedient means? No sugar coating. Right. No sugar coating, right.

[22:27]

You just got some. in the state of being close, yet still not seeing who could not believe in understanding of non-understanding by wholeheartedness. What does that mean? It means you can believe in understanding and you can believe in beyond understanding.

[23:44]

Is that wholeheartedness? As a matter of fact, yes. And this state of being close yet not seeing, is that always and forever the way things are? Being close yet not seeing, still not seeing? No, it's not always and forever the way things are. There's also being in the realm where we are practicing together in the same way as the whole universe, there's also that. And that's not separate from this constantly changing world of being close and not seeing. We do not need to be hindered

[25:00]

by not seeing. And we do not need to be hindered by being close. But that's not the whole story. There's also that which we're close to and do not see. And that's always so. I think the seeing part, thinking that I'm supposed to be seeing something is getting in the way. Yeah, and it doesn't need to. That, what do you call it, that thinking that you need to see and that feeling that it's in the way, that's what's close. Okay, thank you very much. You're welcome. Your story, or what we read today, chapter 16, I felt very close to it.

[26:41]

I was in Vulture Peak earlier this year. I thought you were going to say I was in Vulture Peak earlier today. Well, I was there, too, today. the horizon, the valleys, the sun. It was the only place in India that I really felt I went to many places that Buddha had been. But it was the only place where my eyes touched this horizon. And I felt him. Made the trip worthwhile, huh? Yes. That's wonderful. I'm so happy to hear that. And I felt really close to him. He says that he's always close to you.

[27:54]

That's the word from him. In the context of this morning's Dharma Talk, could you please define... Could you speak up, please? Yes. In the context of this morning's Dharma Talk, could you please define the words see and the word realize? Define see. Well, see can be with your eyes, your sensory eyes, and see could mean that you actually think that you see the Buddha and that you actually think you see

[29:00]

how we're all practicing together and helping each other and living joyfully and fearlessly in harmony. That you would actually think you see that. And realize would be that you understand beyond your thinking. and that your body, that your actions are coming from that understanding, that your actual bodily activity is enacting what you're close to. So if I may rephrase it, the word realize as opposed to the word see or perceive is not a function of the mind, but rather something more inexpressible, inconceivable.

[30:03]

You can express it. When you say Lotus Sutra, you express the understanding. You express the realization. That is the realization. But the way it is, is inconceivable. Just like, you know, you're in this valley and the way you're in this valley includes everything in the valley. But the way you're in the valley and the way I'm in the valley with you, neither one of us can conceive of in a way that reaches it. But we can enact being in this valley, and we are. And it's very simple then. Yes, it's very simple. Thank you. You're welcome. I just want to tell a little story. It's not actually a little story, it's a big story. May I? Is that okay? This person said that he was looking for an old man to help him in his practice.

[31:10]

He'd been searching for a long time and he somehow came to Green Gulch on a Sunday and he saw me and he thought, oh there's an old man that can help me. And then he went up into the Sierras where he lives the Sierra Nevada, and he opened his mail, and the mail was a picture of me, a flyer that had a picture of my face. And so he went to the retreat, which this flyer was an advertisement for, and he came to talk to me because he wanted to tell me something that happened. And I wanted to tell you what he told me. it kind of related to Haley's question. So he's living up in the foothills of the mountains and he's cleaning up the land where he lives and he's collecting, I guess it's debris on the ground to clear the land somewhat and he's bringing it over and burning it.

[32:20]

And while he's carrying a arm full of ground debris, he looks down and sees a little bird, which seems to be dead. But the bird catches his eye, and around that time, when he sees the bird, he hears in his mind, in his mind he hears the words, do a memorial service for this bird. And then he has a little conversation with these words in his mind, and he says, actually, I'm kind of busy clearing the land here. Maybe I'll do it later. And the voice, the words in the head say, the words in the mind say, no, do it now. and they go back and forth for a while like this. But he feels this is very unusual to be giving, that something's telling him. He's unusually aware of the conversation in his mind and it seems to be a real conversation.

[33:28]

And he feels like maybe, okay, I'll do the memorial ceremony. So he stops his work and he goes to pick up the little bird. It's a, I think a wren maybe that has a red, yellow breast. He thought it was a wren. He did have a yellow breast, but he thought it was a wren, quite a small bird. And then he heard, get a rock. So he's carrying the bird, and he knows a place where there's some good rocks. So he's looking across a lot of rocks, and one rock just really comes to him very strongly, which also surprises him. He said he never had the experience of a rock sort of like just coming at him like that. So he thought, okay, this is the rock. And he gets this rock and he brings it to an attractive spot on his property. And he puts it on the ground. And he puts a little bird on the ground. And then he sits down cross-legged in upright posture.

[34:34]

And then out of the woods around, birds start coming out of the woods. little birds with yellow breasts start coming down out of the forest and surround him and the little bird. Come and sit on the ground and surround them. And then a lot of them. And then they start singing. And when they finish singing, they go away. This is, I would say, this is a bird ceremony, a human and bird ceremony. And he says to me, where did that come from? Where did the words come from and where did the ceremony, what's the meaning of this? And I said, what you just told me was the meaning of it.

[35:39]

The Buddha Dharma was enacted there. I feel. And the meaning of the Buddha Dharma is beyond human stories. He wanted the old man to tell him the story about what the old man says. That ceremony is the embodiment, the enactment of the meaning that is the meaning. So what we're doing here is the meaning and what we're going to do later today is the meaning. And what we do tomorrow is the meaning, if we are ready to plunge into this triple treasure and donate our activity to it, sitting on the ground with the birds or without the birds. It's simple, but not so simple, I guess, too. I just thought, you know, we do that.

[37:00]

We sit in a circle and sing here. And we're doing memorial services at the same time. How do we know when we can stop tidying? How do we know we can stop what? When we can stop tidying in preparation. Well, we have this special setup for you here, which is like the bell rings so you can stop tidying your room. And then you come and sit here and then you think, I didn't tidy my room enough, so I have to start thinking about how I'm going to... I can't... I'm in the room here, but I can't leap because I think my room should be tidier before I leap. So you don't feel you've done enough. So you have to sit through the period and then, you know, maybe during kini, run out and clean your room.

[38:02]

But you're not supposed to do that. But maybe... But again, some people, it can be quite... From other people's perspective, the room can be quite messy and they think, it's tidy enough, I'm ready to leap. I don't have to get more organized. So it's basically when you feel like, okay, I'm ready... you've done enough. And if you feel like, no, I've got to get more calm before I dare to leap. My mind has to get more clear. I have to be more concentrated. I have to get to a deeper level of concentration. Then I can leap. And in fact, people get there and they say, okay, I'm really concentrated. Okay. All right. I'm ready. Oops, wait a minute. I don't know if I am. I'm tidy enough, but yikes, look at that. Look at that vast realm of all. Maybe I... It's not that I need to tidy up more, it's that I'm scared. But now you're right on the edge. You're ready to commit. But no longer do you feel like you need to be more tidy.

[39:07]

I'm concentrated enough to see what I'm getting into here. And I'm not sure I actually want to make this donation. After all, it's me. But you're getting really close to it. You're really feeling the closeness. You can kind of, mmm, it's almost there, you know. Another word is that human beings cannot do this, but they can eat it. You can eat this triple treasure. So you can also set the table to eat it. Okay, the table's set, the meal's there. But, of course, eat it means also be eaten by it, to consume it and be consumed. But when you're right there, you're no longer saying, okay, I have to make a few more airplane reservations before I can give myself to this practice. No, I'm ready, but I'm holding back. There's no excuse anymore other than I just, I'm scared, I'm,

[40:09]

But it's really close then. So maybe what I have to do now is just to relax. So that's the tidying I have to do is relax more and more so that there's no resistance. Or maybe actually relax with the resistance. The resistance can stay. So you negotiate. until you actually feel like, okay, here we go. And at that point, you know, you don't do that either, but there's leaping, there's diving. Another way, of course, also, besides leaping and so, it's also remembering, remembering the teaching. I'm always close, yet they do not see me. I'm always close, but do not see. I'm always close. Remember that teaching. Be mindful of that. Why ever forget it? The Buddha's always thinking that. Why don't we? There's plenty of room in our mind to play that story constantly.

[41:16]

We can do that while we make reservations. We can do that while we're resisting. So I appreciate that you are tidying up and looking to see if you're ready. You're welcome. I appreciate that you're all tidying up and we have a nice, tidy, clean zendo here, that you're helping everybody else be ready to leap and enter. It's ready.

[42:42]

It's ready. It's ready when it's red? Yes, right. Learn something every day, huh? Can I make it green and see what happens? Yes, you may. Thank you. I guess it doesn't want to be green anymore. It changed to red. How did that happen? Okay. This is the miracle right now. This is the miracle. This is it. Maybe I don't need to say anything. Yeah, maybe not. Ah, thank you. I like an explanation. Well, here she is. I wonder how long it will last. Okay. I came forward because I wanted to say that... I was receiving a lot of noisy complaint in my mind this morning, or not complaint, but observation of the kind that says, this is a mistake, like in various ways over and over.

[43:55]

This might vary, you know, from time to time, but the idea that whatever it is that I've devoted myself to is a mistake, often it's not unfamiliar to me over time in my life, and it seems to get more acute at a certain, like after seven or eight years. That's when it gets really, starting to get really loud. So... And I didn't find it particularly easy to relax with. But I, you know, I let it be there and I knew it was familiar and I knew it wasn't necessarily true. But I think there's still this sneaking, well not sneaking suspicion, there's some thread of old confidence in myself, in that voice that knows when to say, oh, this was a mistake, and, you know, pack up her kit bag. There's a thread of confidence. There's a tiny seed. In that this is a mistake.

[45:05]

Yeah, like that voice said, somehow we're supposed to listen to that voice. That's some part of me that I need to listen to, because in the past it's gotten me It's been a wise voice. I think that that confidence that you should listen to that voice that says it's a mistake is a good confidence. And then the question is how to have a conversation with that voice, maybe. Like the conversation the man with the birds had. Yes. I've had those kind of conversations sometimes. So like, well, what do you really want to tell me? when you tell me, what's the real story here? Maybe that's a good question to ask. It's a perfectly good question. And then the voice says, get a rock. A rock? And then you can converse about that too. But eventually anyway... You make your peace with this, what is it?

[46:05]

Oh, it's a mistake. This recurring voice. You make your peace with it and you sit down with it and you relax with it. And then the voice changes into song. And the birds come. Well, the birds come and they sing and it's the same voice. It's the same voice. and you realized that that voice was the same voice as the birds, but you had to have this conversation with it till you could realize it was singing to you all along. I see. So the confidence you had to listen to this... It's a mistake. It's a mistake. ...will help you realize that that's actually the Dharma talking to you. The Dharma is not hindered by, this is a mistake, this is a mistake. Right. But you maybe have to talk with it for a while before you realize it's telling you, okay, now relax with me. Yes, because I have a tendency to either believe it and act on it or just exile it, neither of which is helpful.

[47:09]

It's part of the process, though. Yeah. It's part of the conversation. Okay. Thank you very much. You're welcome. Thank you, Arlene. This morning, as some of you, most of you witnessed when we were singing, we got to a point where Meg graciously offered us a chance to sing the Lotus Sutra. And I thought, oh, we didn't have a dedication at that point. And I asked the Eno if the Eno asked Meg to go directly into the Lotus Sutra. And she said, no.

[48:13]

So then I asked Meg for a dedication of merit. And she gave it to me and gave it to you. And then after that, she gave us the Lotus Sutra. And someone could have said, that's a mistake. I bought something. I don't know what. They thought I made a mistake, too. Do you make mistakes? If you need them, I'll make them. So, you know, for me that was that thing, that whole thing of having one or two or fifteen mistakes this morning was a wonderful dance I could do with Eno, the chant leader, and all of you. Did you enjoy it? Did you see it? Hmm? He didn't even see it. Well, it's okay. We were dancing up there.

[49:15]

We were having a little, what do you call it, a little ritual dance. So for me, I thought, this is, you know, here we are enacting enacting the Dharma. And because we have ways of doing these things, we have these forms to play with. And can we realize that when someone does them in an unusual way, that offers us an opportunity to interact and relax with something that might be seen as a mistake and relax with that apparent mistake. And still she came up afterwards, Meg came up to me and said something like, I apologize, or something like that. Did you say I apologize? And I said, thank you. And actually that's part of the form too. And if she hadn't, I might have said, Meg, could you please give me something? I might have asked for one. But I really saw the whole thing and still do see the whole thing as our Zen dance.

[50:19]

This is our Zen dance, traditional Zen dance, which some people don't see as a dance. But I do. Do you? Do you, Meg? Yeah. You're slightly butting in front of the gentleman there, but maybe he'll let you go. What do you say? What? Okay, you can go afterwards. Hello. Hello. I just wanted to say there was something really wonderful this morning about making such a spectacular mistake that didn't really harm anyone.

[51:27]

It was spectacular because there's a lot of spectators. Yeah, there's no way to kind of gloss over it or maybe nobody will notice that one. And it wasn't like not being mindful when you're driving a car and you crash and it has a lot of danger to it. So maybe it disrupted the flow, but it seems like the damage wasn't too bad. It was a lovely flow. But for me personally, the amazing thing for me personally was I was able to keep going. And I felt like, oh, well, I'm not quite sure how that happened. I came last night and went over the chant book like I thought I was supposed to, and the brain circuits just kind of misfired, and that is what happened. And I was able to keep going. I didn't flip out. Yeah, because you've done that ceremony so many times that I can walk up to you and say, do it backwards, and you might be able to continue. Yeah. And then there's also this fear, you know, one of the main fears is loss of reputation.

[52:30]

So it's like, oh, well, okay, people will think, well, let's don't ask her for a while to be Kokyo. Or, oh, it's clear she hasn't been coming to the Zendo enough. Or all these kind of stories, right? Yeah, the stories could arise. That was kind of fun, too. She's out of practice. That was kind of fun, too. Oh, here those come. Okay, am I going to play with those for a while or not? And I thought, well, maybe it's helpful for other people to see that you can make just a spectacular mistake and keep going, and it's okay. Maybe. Yeah. Maybe. Maybe. Yeah. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe not. Yeah. That's the birdies singing away there. So anyhow, thank you for dancing this morning. You're welcome. Thank you for coming to the dance. Okay. It was nice observing how my heart started throbbing when I understood there was a question and answer.

[54:02]

But I didn't know what the question was. I knew there was a question. MRK in the back? The question arrived. Not too late. I was wondering I feel fairly, what I would say perhaps, equanimous when I sit many times, like the last sitting. And things come and go. There's no dislike, there's no like. But then... Pretty tidy. Yeah, pretty tidy. Pretty tidy, yeah. Are you ready to enter? There's no clear answer. But there's a kind of a little peeking.

[55:10]

Ready to peek? Yeah. Well, today is a good day to peek. sit there in equanimity and peek at the triple treasure. But what I was trying to find a little confusing... Hello, triple treasure. Hello. It's that when I sit there, I'm not quite sure if when I'm observing things coming and going like that, if I'm actually seeing them as a gift. You're not sure? No. No, but I feel that I'm not attached to them, but it doesn't feel like a gift. Okay. Well, it is a gift, regardless of what you think. All the things that are coming to you are gifts, and your attention to them is a gift. But your inattention to them, which is also a gift, makes it pretty hard for you to see that your inattention is a gift.

[56:18]

So if you pay attention to these things, that's definitely, according to certain people, a gift. When you pay attention to the experiences that arise, that's a wonderful gift. If you don't pay attention to them, it's a wonderful gift, but you won't see it. But if you do pay attention, now you know it's a wonderful gift and you might remember that and see that your attention to your experience is a wonderful gift. It is. And the things you're paying attention to are wonderful gifts. And all of you is a wonderful gift. But particularly when you feel and intend to make yourself and your attention gifts to all beings, you will, of course, let that in more. So this is very simple, but hard to remember, because we have habits of thinking, well, this isn't a gift.

[57:23]

That's not a gift. Yeah, exactly. But those are gifts, too. Those thoughts are gifts, too. This is a mistake. That's a gift, too. Everything is a gift, but we have to practice attending to the giving, otherwise we miss it. If you pay attention to this, you will understand. Thank you for the gift. You're welcome. And I hope you enjoy peeking at the triple treasure today. I hope I will. Yeah, that would be great. Thank you for letting Meg go first. It was very gentlemanly of you. What if you tidy up and you have a lot of trouble tidying up?

[58:38]

It takes you a long time to tidy up. Yes. And you're anxious about tidying up, but you finally tidy up. Yeah. And then you leap. Yes. Then you get scared and you go back to tidying up again. Yeah, that happens many, many, many times to many people who try to practice the way. And so when you... A lot of what we're tidying up is like, what do you call it, is confessing and repenting our karma. That's part of the tidying up. And then the root of that melts away and you're ready to leap and then you leap and then you, again, you... you know, you don't want to practice. So then, then confess that. So start tidying up again. Around and around we go. That's the practice. Does the second tidying up get easier because you leaped once?

[59:41]

It doesn't necessarily get easier, but you get more skillful. At tidying up? Yeah. But you also get more and more subtle sneakiness and stuff comes up. more and more subtle trickiness and more and more subtle turning away. So you get more skillful and your reward for getting more skillful is to get more and more new challenges that you didn't have before. People who have been practicing a long time have different challenges than the people who have been practicing shorter times. They both have challenges. Otherwise, as soon as the challenges stop, we stop growing. All these challenges are beings who are coming to us to see if we can welcome them. So it's like relaxing with the challenges. Yeah, learning to relax with hopefully ever new beings, ever new challenges, ever new mistakes. And you do get more skillful at relaxing and your reward for being more skillful at relaxing, for being able to relax with things you couldn't relax with before,

[60:44]

is that you get some other things which you have not yet been able to relax with. But you weren't even given those because they were too advanced. And now you've handled one thing which you couldn't do before. Now you're given another thing. And part of the practice is to not take on these things that are too advanced and get some feedback from your teacher about whether that you should even be facing certain situations. Or go back and tidy up, maybe. Yeah. So that's a normal part of the process. Thank you. You're welcome. Would you wear your pants more full length, please?

[61:53]

I would do that. Thank you. Hi. Hi. So I've been thinking about leaping. Yeah? I mean, I've been thinking about leaping. Yeah? Maybe, maybe about actually leaping. You can start by thinking about other people leaping. That might be easier. And other people leaping, too. People have leapt. That's the story. Yeah. That's our history, that people have leapt. And then they come back to encourage us to do the same. So, leaping involves like kind of maybe fearlessness, but maybe there's still fear, but facing that with fearlessness. So I was kind of thinking about that and like entering too. So I was thinking, is there, is there actually anything that, is there something that I entered like, like as if I hadn't already entered, you know, this, like I'm actually going from one place to another or leaping, like am I actually leaping off anything?

[63:09]

And what came to mind was, you know, You know, Indiana Jones, the Temple of Doom, the third one, when he comes to this, where there's this gap, there's a number of different obstacles, and one is this large gap. And I forget what the little saying is, but basically he has to just step off of the cliff. And he just thinks it's totally crazy, and you know, Indy is totally fearless. You know, he's completely afraid of nothing. That's not true. Or, oh, what is he? Snakes. He hates snakes. Right, well, yeah. Yeah. He really hates snakes. Yeah, for sure. But he ends up, you know, he's like, all right, this is crazy. And he steps off and then he's like supported by this invisible bridge. And that's what it is. We leap and then realize that we're not leaping off anything at all.

[64:11]

And we like land with both feet and then we can trust and, yeah, that's it. For me, that's what I think it is. And if you want to say a couple words, you know, it would be nice to. A couple words. Or maybe a couple sentences. A couple sentences. Yeah. Thank you. If you need an explanation, Arlene will give it to you. Arlene? Yeah, she'll give it to you. If you want an explanation of what I did, you can get an explanation from her. From what you did? Yeah. Right now? Yeah. No, you don't pick that by yourself.

[65:36]

You don't do anything by yourself. Thank you. I actually came to just offer a couple of gifts. Thank you. If I may. Yes, you may. Jacob, it's called the leap of faith. And also for Catherine. It's called the leap of faith in the movie? In the movie, yeah. And for Catherine and maybe anybody else, this is a gift I've received and have realized. If it were true, you wouldn't need to convince yourself. Thank you for the gifts. So I need to tidy up something.

[67:01]

Okay. So far I've heard teachings quite relaxing about attainment of something during the practice. You received teachings which help you to relax around attainment? Yes. So I used to sit without trying to leap anywhere. So this morning I received a different teaching, my perception, and I was energized by this when you said so. So it was really touching for me hearing you saying enter, leap, like an invitation. But at the same time, now I'm feeling nervous not to be able to do that. And so... Yeah, so it's not something you do, but it happens. But it's not one of your human activities to enter.

[68:03]

So you need to tidy up all your human activities so you can enter, but not as an action that you do. So the only concern for me is to tidy up. Yeah. And know that... that when the opportunity for entering comes, to accept it, to accept the gift of entering. When you hear the words, leap, receive it, and let it happen. So you have to wait. Yeah, when the fundraiser comes and says, please give me your body, When the fundraiser, when the beggar comes and says, please give me your life. Or when the Buddha comes, this is hard, and says, would you please donate your life to the Buddha way? That's the space for my action. Yeah. It's not really your action, though.

[69:05]

You just say, yes, you didn't really do it, though. You couldn't, you know, it just pops out, yes, I will. But you didn't really do it. You couldn't have done it if they didn't ask. They say, would you please give your life to the Buddha way? Would you please enter? You say, yes. You already did. You don't have to do anything else. You did it, but it really wasn't an action like, you did it. It just arose with the support of the request and you being ready. Like, actually, if somebody asks me, I'm ready. And I'll wait till the conditions are right. When they're right, probably it'll happen. And it will. You will be asked to enter and you'll say yes. Or leaping will happen. Just making it clear for you. And tidying up is like you feel like, well, I'm ready now. I've got myself into this posture. I'm ready. I'm ready.

[70:06]

I'm ready for the giving of this body and mind to the way. And then maybe you feel like, oh, it was given. Wow. It was leaping. Teachers are good for something.

[71:15]

Most things. And I wasn't expecting it. Thank you. The flies are undone. It shouldn't be a secret. So this room of mine is expanding quite rapidly and the tidying up is sort of... Could you speak up, please? Yeah, the tidying up is a bit haphazard. which I can understand totally and I don't have a problem with it being haphazard.

[72:17]

But one of the things I just sort of had come to me is that See, it's just gone. That's one of the things that happens a lot. I'm glad that you're cleaning the temple. Thank you. Thank you. So I don't know if I've ever got to the point where there's this emptiness that I can leap with.

[73:20]

You are at that point now. Probably. It's close to you right now. And what I notice is the untidy pain. Untidy pain? Yeah, yeah. Comes rushing in. And as much as I try and play with it, it sort of... It sort of just brings... It brings back things that I don't really want to be playing with. I sort of don't really want to be doing that. And I'm just wondering... What don't you want to play with? What don't you want to relax with? I don't want to relax with people kicking me, and I don't want to relax with people making me

[74:30]

Well, I appreciate you telling me that you don't want to relax with people kicking you. I appreciate you telling me that you don't want to relax with people kicking you. I appreciate that. But Buddha recommends that you relax with people kicking you. That's his teaching to us. He learned to relax when he was being kicked. The Buddhas are here, male and female Buddhas are here to encourage us to relax with attacks. And also relax with people who say they don't want to relax with attacks. And it's not easy to learn to relax when attacked. but it's very clear, the Buddha's very emphatic, that if you get angry when people attack you, you're not on his, in his program.

[75:32]

But he also says, you know, be patient. He says, it took me a long time to learn how to do that, but I did learn it finally, so that when people were being very cruel to me, I relaxed and did not hate them. And he says, if you practice this, you will learn this someday. Okay. But it's not easy. No, and I'm confused. Can I just clear one thing up? Yeah. I feel I can be relaxed when people are kicking me at the time. Excuse me, you said you feel you can relax when people are kicking you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And before you said you couldn't? No, oh right, so that's why I haven't been clear. I can't be relaxed about the fact that people have kicked me. You can't be relaxed with that they have kicked you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Things that people have done in the past to me, which come up.

[76:36]

In the past, when those things about people kicking you in the past come up, I have a suggestion right now, and I can give you other suggestions later. The suggestion I give you now is you ask yourself, when they were kicking me, What could anyone have done to help me at that time? Ask yourself that. Okay. Let me know if you think of something helpful someone could have done for you. Excuse me. How can one leap without being absolutely terrified?

[78:14]

Do you mean... Oh, I see. Are you saying can one leap if one is absolutely terrified? Are you asking that? Or are you saying that one would always be terrified when one leaps? What are you saying? I'm really confused in this, and it seems to be they go together. Well, maybe sometimes they go together, that when you're absolutely terrified, you leap. Is that what you mean? In the process of leaping. In the process of leaping, you're absolutely terrified? Yeah. I mean, you can do both. I think it can happen that way, but I don't think that you always have to be terrified when there's leaping. But I do think that if you're terrified... And when you're terrified, you're absolutely terrified that then there can be leaping. But really, in the absolute terrifying, in a sense, the leaping's there. Most of us are 99% or 35% terrified.

[79:26]

We're terrified, but we're not going to be completely terrified. So if you're terrified and you're 100% terrified, there's leaping. That's what I'm talking about. But there's other places to leap besides terror. But terror is a big part of the landscape of leaping. Yes. So when the terror comes, relaxing with it is what helps us. Relaxing and being playful with terror helps us be 100% terrified. And in that 100%, there's leaping. And you realize it in that 100%. The 100% realizes it. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you for your question. Thank you for all your questions.

[80:30]

May the rest of the day be wonderfully fruitful for our practice.

[80:39]

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