looking at anxiety and grief and pain and pleasure and so on. We've been talking about how to bring compassion to them. When we bring compassion to grief, I would call that grieving. So grief, you can have grief but not be compassionate to it. And I wouldn't call rejecting grief, grieving. Grieving is when you start to open to the grief. So we have the word grief and we also have grieving. So grieving is like, I would use that word for opening to and being kind to the grief. We don't have a word for sadness. We don't have a word called saddening.

[01:03]

We don't have a word for that. Like when you bring compassion to sadness, we don't have a special word for that. But I... Of course, I'm here to recommend and support bringing compassion to sadness. Also, I don't know of a word for bringing compassion to joy or bringing compassion to pleasure. And then also, we don't have a word for bringing compassion to anxiety. But I'm sort of starting to take that back because as we come into the energizing, encouraging phase, when we bring that kind of compassion, the encouraging compassion, the encouragement of compassion towards anxiety, it's called courage or courageous engagement with anxiety.

[02:15]

So I am wanting to encourage courageous engagement with anxiety, courageous engagement with fear, courageous engagement with grief, courageous engagement with pain, and courageous engagement with prosperity and pleasure. In all these cases, if we can bring compassion, courageous engagement, courageous, compassionate engagement with everything, that gets us ready to not be attached to these things. To not be attached to grief, to not be attached to fear, to not be attached to anxiety, to not be attached to pleasure, to not be attached to prosperity, to not be attached to pain. most people don't like pain, but most people, when the pain comes up, they attach to it.

[03:28]

Most people. Okay? That's the usual situation. Pain and attachment, and then, therefore, more pain. Pleasure and attachment, therefore, pain. Anxiety and attachment, therefore, pain. Grief and attachment is exactly what grief comes for, is to help us not attach to... Grief is a special gift which saying, grief comes and says, okay, let go. Let go. Welcome me. Be compassionate to me. I'll help you let go. If we can be compassionate to grief, if we can be compassionate to pain, if we can be compassionate to fear, then we are getting close to being ready to calm down with them. To be absorbed in them.

[04:32]

To make this kindness, to make our compassion concentrated. To concentrate our kindness. And I also wrote sentient and insentient. Some people are actually quite good at being compassionate towards colors and sounds. Great musicians are very good at being compassionate to sounds and to their hands as they touch instruments and to their throat as they breathe. They actually are quite good at being compassionate and they also are quite good at being relaxed and concentrated with colors, sounds. Cooks are good at being compassionate with their sense of touch, their sense of sight, their sense of smell, their sense of taste. They actually can bring compassion to these material things.

[05:36]

And out of that compassion and patience, because cooking can be quite frustrating, and pain can arise while you're cooking, by being compassionate to the difficulties and anxieties about cooking, like when is it going to get done, is it going to be good, blah, blah, blah. By being compassionate with the physicality, with these physical beings, we then can be concentrated and relaxed, and then move into being not just cooking, but creating, and then we make this great artwork and we're liberated in the process of cooking. It's the same thing. The same thing would be done with, hopefully, with our fear and our pain. A lot of people may be surprised to hear

[06:40]

relaxation as part of concentration. A lot of people think of concentration as being focused, and it is. The concentration I'm talking about, the concentration which sets up the possibility of wisdom, it's a concentration that is focused, it is an absorption on some topic, for example, It could be on the topic of the welfare of someone. And as we see from many stories from parents who are quite concerned and quite focused on the welfare of their children, we also hear that in that focus there could be more relaxation. In the focus on the welfare of the children, there's also anxiety. So caring for beings, especially caring for anxious beings, which means caring for almost all beings, all living beings, are anxious.

[07:49]

So we're caring for anxious beings so we often feel anxiety. We're absorbed in caring for them and we're now possibly absorbed in caring for our own anxiety. So we're focused on that, we're absorbed on that, but the actual absorption, real absorption, includes that you're, it's a relaxed focus. Not blurry, relaxed. So with the focus goes some restlessness. Focus and restlessness. Not a rigid, fixed focus. but a focus now. Now I'm focusing on Angela. Now I'm focusing on Carol. Now I'm focusing on John. But I haven't lost my focus. I'm just restless. I'm just moving from one thing to another, but I'm not losing my focus of compassion. I also used the example the other night

[08:59]

I often think of Michelangelo struggling with probably a 17 or 18 foot slab of marble, out of which he made a statue called David. And he worked on that for quite a while, as you might imagine. So he's focused on part of the statue, like as the statue starts to form, he's focusing on David's butt. He's focused there. He's absorbed in sculpting the butt of this young... of this man, the statue of a man. But he's not fixed on the butt. He moves around. He's restless. He comes around to the front and works on the stomach. He's not fixed on the stomach. He moves down to the thighs. He moves up to the chest. He moves to the arms. He moves to the face. He's moving all around this thing, but he's totally absorbed in the work. He's totally absorbed his relationship with this piece of marble.

[10:04]

And he's flexible. And he's dancing around the statue day after day, hour after hour, moment after moment, month after month. He's focused. He's compassionate. He's patient. He's careful. Of course he's generous. Of course he welcomes this thing and he's having a hard time with it. This thing is resisting him. He's pounding on it in a generous way. He's careful. He's patient. Right? Does that make sense that he's patient? Does it make sense he's having a hard time? Ah. he worked so hard that he never took his boots off and actually his skin fused with the boots. Because he kept them on and he was also working in a shower because he had water spraying on him all the time to wash away the dust.

[11:10]

So he's walking, he's slugging away at this thing, slugging away generously, carefully. patiently. He's slugging away gently, wholeheartedly whacking this thing gently. He doesn't want to hit it too hard, because then he'll go deeper than he meant to. He has to hit hard, but not too hard. So he actually has to hit firmly, but gently. And then if he misses, he has to be patient with his mistake and adjust. Can you see the compassion of this artist with this marble? And can you see how this marble resisting him and being strong, he needs that in order to create this artwork. He needs that resistance, and he's not angry at this statue. I heard this example of somebody who was training a dog, you know, and they said to the dog something like, fetch, and the dog didn't fetch, and the person said...

[12:18]

uttered some obscenity to the dog. But the obscenity is not the instruction. The instruction is fetch. But the obscenity just confused the dog. It doesn't help. So maybe Michelangelo sometimes lost his patience. I don't know how often that happened. He had a hard time. He was in pain. But he was compassionate to his pain. And this statue, he was compassionate towards it, so he was absorbed. But his absorption, his tremendous focus and concentration was relaxed, relaxed, relaxed. So he could move up and down and all around, hour after hour, in ecstasy. and agony, as, where is it, Stone's book, The Ecstasy and the Agony. The ecstasy, and it hurts to work that hard, but in that compassion, he could continue and continue.

[13:27]

He was concentrated on the stone, and we can be concentrated on the stone too, and we can be concentrated on a living being, on a little boy, on a big boy, on a little girl, on a big girl. We can do this with grief, anxiety, pain, and pleasure. And if we do, if we can be compassionate, we can be concentrated. If we're not compassionate with these things, our lack of compassion will disturb our concentration. so again I use the example of if you try to concentrate on something like for example your posture if you're sitting in meditation try to concentrate on your posture or concentrate on your breathing or concentrate on your thinking and you didn't and you weren't careful when you left your house and you didn't carefully pay attention to whether you closed the door

[14:36]

or whether you turned the fire off on the stove, or whether you put out the food for the dog, or if you called the babysitter, if you weren't careful, if you weren't compassionate to your house and your children and your dog, then when you try to concentrate, you have trouble doing it because you're distracted by the things you didn't take care of. If somebody asked you when you're walking to the meditation hall for some help and you weren't generous then when you sit down that lack of generosity will bother you. Plus you also in order to concentrate you have to be generous towards what you're concentrating on. And so on. If you don't do these compassion practices you're not really ready to concentrate. So if you're trying to concentrate and you notice you can't Go back and check out those early compassion practices and you may find that one of them hasn't been taken care of and take care of that and then you come back to the concentration.

[15:45]

So again, one surprising, I think, for people teaching is that concentrating on something in order to get ready to understand it Because it's hard to understand things if you're not really absorbed in them. Like, again, the image comes of... Joseph Conrad was known to be a very concentrated artist. And he would spend days locked in his room. And by the way, he could spend days locked in his room... because he checked out with his wife if that would be okay and she said yes he married a woman who supported his concentration on his work so a lot of literary artists kind of lock themselves in their room and they get the support of their family who says yes you can go in there and you can stay there for a while

[16:57]

And they go in and Joseph Conrad would go in and he would look at a blank piece of paper hour after hour, day after day, just focused on it. But he was focused on it and he was also restless with it. And eventually the novel would come out onto the page. But he had to be patient and careful and get support to do this, and then he could concentrate on it. And because he was so patient, he could be so concentrated. So again, that's a kind of surprising thing, because I think a lot of people think concentration means fixed and rigid. It's not. It's relaxed and flexible.

[18:02]

In Buddhist meditation one of the primary criterion for a state of concentration and calm calm concentration is called the flexibility or pliancy of body and mind. If you're focusing on something but you're not yet physically and mentally pliant And you say, is such a person concentrated? The answer is no. They're making an effort like concentration, it's conducive to concentration, but it's not really concentration until their body and mind are flexible. And another thing about a state of absorption, like for example, to be absorbed in anxiety, doesn't mean again that you're fixated on it you're sticking your head into it it means you're completely present with it so another aspect of it is combination of great accomplishments go with concentration people who accomplish a great deal in this world are concentrated people

[19:23]

But what goes with concentration that accomplishes great works is a kind of laziness or indolence or spaciousness. And the word indolence, I looked up the etymology of recently, and it comes from the word indolent, which is actually Latin, indolent, which means in, not, and dolent means, it's related like to Dolores. It means, dolent means to suffer or to cause pain. So indolent means not causing pain. So concentration has this quality of, part of it is a kind of not causing pain, not pushing yourself.

[20:30]

And not pushing yourself goes with accomplishing the great works of concentration. Concentration is focused, and when you're focused in a relaxed way, you're also open. When you're focused, you're actually vulnerable to all the things you're not looking at. So again, concentration goes with being willing or being courageous enough to be vulnerable. If you're not willing to be vulnerable, you can't really be concentrated. That's why it takes courage to be concentrated. You have to have an aspiration to concentrate, taking into account that when you concentrate you're going to actually be vulnerable.

[21:37]

However, If you think about this, it's not like if you concentrate you're vulnerable and if you don't concentrate you're not vulnerable. It's that when you concentrate, you open to your vulnerability. People who are not concentrated are rejecting their vulnerability usually. They're looking around all the time because they think if they look around that they won't be vulnerable. That's why you have to have courage to concentrate, because when you have courage to concentrate, you also have the courage to accept that you can be attacked from any direction, which is always the case, but you're now open to that. When you're centered and balanced, you're open to harm and attack from all directions. and you're relaxed with that.

[22:47]

I have quite a bit more to say about concentration. and I want to say one more time before I pause and that is that this concentration this concentration, this absorption in anything sets up the wisdom processes and the wisdom processes set up the liberation processes And the wisdom processes, when we're concentrated, we're ready to go into the wisdom processes, and the wisdom processes involve play and creativity. So maybe you can see how the concentration sets up the ability to be flexible and to be playful.

[24:20]

And the courage to be playful. The courage to, yeah, to be playful. To take a chance on being playful in a situation of anxiety. A lot of times, again, when people are anxious, they tense up and close down. We're talking about Being kind to that anxiety so you start to open to it and then be relaxed with it and then be absorbed in it and then like say, okay, not only was I anxious before, but now I'm even opening to more vulnerability than before. I'm like totally, I'm like totally anxious. And I'm relaxed. I'm ready to play. And this is the beginning of creativity, which is the beginning of wisdom. So it's the beginning of being playful with fear, anxiety, grief, pain and pleasure.

[25:26]

So that in that creativity we will become free of pleasure and pain and fear and grief and anxiety. And then, again, when we're free, We go back to compassionate care. But now compassionate care is an expression of freedom. So it's more completely realized. So now I'll take a pause here on the discussion of concentration and see if you have any responses to this discussion of compassionate care and concentration. Yes, surely. Sometimes I'll start out.

[26:32]

an idea but then i relax and sometimes it ends up totally better than i would have created it if i concentrated it stressed up so i mean that really fits in perfectly what do you call this a testament a testimonial yeah he said how did i do it but anyway how did i let go and let it happen how did i let myself be a servant of the art yeah Somehow you were kind enough to the oils and the canvas and your body and your mind that you dared to open to the situation and relax and in the relaxation. I just thought of, you know, what just popped in my mind was when I was a freshman in college, I joined a judo club and the first thing they teach you in judo is how to fall. Fortunately, it's water.

[27:36]

So they teach you to fall so you're not afraid to fall. So if you're not afraid to fall, then when you're playing with people, they call it judo, they call it playing. When you're playing, you can relax. Because if somebody throws you, it's not the end of the world. Because they have mats. and you know how to fall. So falling is not so bad. As a matter of fact, it's not bad at all. And some people are quite rigid, the way they're playing, and they don't learn anything. Because you try something on, and if they're strong enough, you can't do anything, but they don't learn anything. So to really learn, if somebody's moving you, go with them. They say that the founder of judo said when you were playing with him, it was like moving a towel. You just go with you wherever you were, and then suddenly you'd be someplace else.

[28:47]

And he was a little guy, but he knew how to sense people's direction and just help them go that way with a little bit of an additional comment. And then they would just go flying through the air by their own great strength. Thank you, Paul. You're welcome. And one time I was playing with the teacher, the master of the class, and so we were playing and I thought, well, she's going to show a throw on me, so I will soon be thrown. So we were playing and I was relaxed because I just thought I was just going to be thrown someplace. And suddenly, he moved in such a way, I just sort of went like this, threw him. And it was like that, you know. I had no idea I was going to do the throw. But I was relaxed, and then this beautiful throw happened on the teacher. And the teacher actually didn't seem to appreciate it that much.

[29:51]

I even imagined he thought, well, that will never happen again. Your name is Melissa? Melissa? Allison, that's Melissa. Allison, please come. This is a question in the moment. Okay. Given... That's the best kind. That example you just gave of the judo and the playing and so forth, where is the concentration? The concentration is... We have a hold of the person. I'm focusing on you. And I'm also kind of like not rigid. And yeah, I'm right here. So the concentration is... I'm concentrating on my own body, which I'm aware of which foot I... where my weight is. And I'm aware... And also, it's like dancing too, like in tango when you're dancing. So you're aware of, you know, like... Like, I feel like Alison's weight is on her, I think her weight is on her right foot.

[31:00]

Correct. And now I feel like your weight's on your left foot. So you're concentrating... And now your weight's on your right foot. On the bubble. So essentially... The bubble? The space. You're not concentrating on a thing. But my problem is... I'm concentrating on something. Right. Like, for example, I'm concentrating on your hand and your back and the feeling of my hand. I'm also concentrating on which foot I have my weight on. So my weight is now on my left foot, and I think her weight is on her right foot. So if that's the case, if I'm right, if I step forward with my right, she can step back with her left. But I was wrong. Let's try it again. Okay. So now... Just a minute. Yeah, so you... Okay. You sense now which foot am I putting your weight onto? On my right. Okay. Now which weight am I putting my foot on? On my left. Okay. So now she's followed my invitation for her to put her foot on her... Put her weight on her left foot.

[32:06]

So now her right foot is somewhat free... To move. To move. So I can step and she can step. So when I move forward, you sense I'm moving forward, so that's an invitation for you to move back. Now, again, I'm inviting you to go over onto your right foot. So now I feel like she can step with her left foot. So now I'm going to invite her to step forward. Got it. Yeah. And judo, it's the same thing, except it's not so much that you're the leader and the follower, but more like I sense which leg she has her weight on. Now, since she doesn't have as much weight on her left foot, I could sweep this foot. Yeah, and then I would go down. See? And in tango, too, you actually do sweeps. Right. but in judo you do sweeps and then you take the person's body, the rest is away. So I'm focusing on my, first of all I'm focusing on my body, then I sense your body and where your weight is. So I'm focusing on one thing and then I'm shifting to another thing.

[33:07]

So what you're giving up, which when I hear concentration, I go to outcome. And as long as my perception has been of my own life is as long as I'm, when I start going in this way, I'm too far out that direction. And therefore I lose my flexibility and become focused on Very good in your body posture is reflecting that because you're leaning forward. So again, particularly in tango you're supposed to be standing upright. If you're upright, you can go in a lot of different directions. If you're leaning this way, if you're leaning forward, it's hard for you to go forward, actually. So we're talking about... It's easier to go forward if you're upright. But also if you're upright, it's easier to go backwards. So we're talking about concentration in exactly this moment. Exactly, in this moment and also concentrating with this flexibility means that you're not thinking of the next moment because if you're thinking of the next moment you're going in some direction rather than all the different directions you can go.

[34:16]

Right. And we're also thinking about balance. And when you're balanced you can fall in more or less an infinite number of directions. when you're off balance you're kind of going to fall in the direction that you're leaning. Now that I'm leaning over to the left it's pretty hard for me to fall to the right. Now that I'm upright it's easy for me to fall to the right. And if I'm standing on one foot it's easy for me to fall in almost any direction. And when I'm really focused I'm vulnerable to falling. When I'm focused and upright, I'm vulnerable to falling in lots of directions. So another part of concentration is that I'm willing to be vulnerable to all kinds of mistakes. When you're concentrated, you're actually more vulnerable to many kinds of mistakes. When you're distracted, you're distracted from that center place

[35:22]

You're actually saying, I don't want to be vulnerable to lots of different possibilities. I want to be this way. Anything else about concentration you'd like to raise? Yes? Well, just to be clear, when you're concentrated, your peripheral vision is active as well. Yeah, I'm saying when you're concentrated, your peripheral vision is activated. So you're like I'm looking at Robert right now, but I'm also aware of you. I can see you. I'm not really focused on him, but he is right in front of me. I'm more like aware of everybody, but in fact, he's like most in the center of my vision, but I could see you at the same time. And actually, that's normal.

[36:26]

I mean, it's just normal that I could. But if I tense up, it's like I kind of ignore the things that I'm actually looking at. Like right now, I'm looking at Gary, but I saw Susan lift her arm up, and I saw... Who was that? Lael? Yeah, I saw Lael scratching her face, even though I was looking at Gary. Okay. I saw her, she's wearing a black sweater, and she scratched her face. I saw that even though she was in my peripheral vision. So, in fact, we do have peripheral vision, but sometimes if we focus in a tense way, we lose our peripheral vision. Focusing in a tense way, you lose your openness. So a focus with relaxation, a focus with flexibility, you are focused, like you're focused on anxiety, but you're also aware of joy.

[37:28]

There might be joy all around you. Like some people are in a situation where there's joy all around them, and they're feeling anxious that they're not enjoying it. What am I missing out? How come I'm the only one that's not having a good time? What's wrong with me? So you're aware of that, that feeling of anxiety or being left out, but you're also aware of a lot of other things going on. So now you're ready to start playing when you feel that way. But also, you could also say, what's wrong with me? Why am I the only one left out? And be calm with that. Can you imagine? To be calm with such a thought. So, I'm self-concerned, I'm worried, I'm frightened, and I'm relaxed, and I'm calm. And other people are more or less anxious, more or less self-concerned, more or less in pain, and I have compassion for them, and I am open to them, and I am flexible with them, and I am calm with them, and I'm not that way for myself, I'm that way for all of us, because I want to

[38:45]

I want to initiate play with these people so we can start being creative together and be free together. I think concentration allows for the not created. Concentration allows for the not created, right. Concentration is open. So it's open to the created. And when you're open to the created, you're open to the not created. When you're concentrated, you're open to X. And when you're really open to X, you're starting to open to not X. Because not X is always right there next to X. Not X is not a little bit away from X. It's right there. There's no X of walking around with not a X. There's no me walking around with not me, without not me.

[39:51]

And not me is all of you. All of you are not me, but I'm not the least bit separate from any of the not mes, because all the not mes make me. If I open to me and my anxiety and my fear, I'm opening to not me. And not me, together with me, is liberation from me and not me. That's the wisdom part. And that's where the liberation comes. But not me is not a rejection of me. Not me is what is realized or not anxiety is not a rejection of anxiety. Not anxiety is realized by the one who is truly compassionate truly absorbed in anxiety totally taken care of it with relaxation and openness with it, and relaxation of openness with not it.

[40:53]

So by being compassionate, we're ready to be concentrated with the created. When we're ready to be concentrated with the created, we can start playing with the created, being creative with the created, and realize the not created, which is freedom from the created. Then we can practice the same way with the not created and be free of the not created, and go back to the created. Want to come up, Joe? More water to spill. Thank you. Would you like to? You a little bit? Well, go right ahead. Paul, would you? If you want to kick it over, go ahead, Joe. And this time I'll fall this way. I was thinking about absorption and For some reason there's a quality to absorption that reminds me of taste like

[42:14]

Like my whole soul is a tongue. There's such a sensitivity. There's an openness. And I'm tasting my experience in this really full way. And I recognize the difference between that experience and when I'm making a gesture in that direction, but there's an agenda to get through it. So I notice a real difference in the quality of being with an experience when I'm really allowing myself to feel how scared I am or to feel how deeply sad I am. And it sort of becomes a somatic experience, like the whole body is involved. I was just thinking about absorption. I hadn't used that word before. Yeah, the creative process depends on opening to those feelings that you said and being absorbed in them.

[43:29]

And then you can be creative with them. I think a lot of artwork is coming from absorption in anxiety. And then from the absorption in the joy that comes from absorption in anxiety. Hearing you say that just reminded me of singing the blues. Going into that pain and the pleasure of that. Singing the blues, yeah. To be able to Be compassionate to the blues, be absorbed in the blues, and then sing the blues. Yes, Angela.

[44:46]

I don't want to say I prefer. I would just say you are invited to come here. And if you don't want to come, it's fine. Now that I'm so close to you. Ana, is it Ana? When you were speaking of the milkman and that pain or that sense of loss. And Reb, I don't know how often, but there's a new assistant. And I experience... Oh, the loss of the older sisters? Yes, I do. But it's wonderful to experience you. The river of assistance.

[45:51]

Thank you. Um, so I was wondering if, um, maybe you could say something about, I thought I heard you say with concentration, um, not, well, I don't think you said not to, but these are my words, um, pushing, pushing maybe was the word, um, it's important not to push. That's what I have in my mind right now. And then the thought that arose when you were speaking about that was coming to your edge. So like, and I was wondering if this is making sense to you and what I'm saying and if you have something to say about that. And... I have some feedback. Are you ready for it? Yes. Number one, I think I was talking about how concentration isn't pushing. Okay.

[46:54]

And now the thing about the edge, I wasn't clear about that. Okay, so I feel, and my experience has been, say in meditation, that... I don't want to say, you know, I have mindfulness about not being attached to an outcome. When you're meditating? When I'm meditating. Okay. So you may have some outcomes that are flying by, but you're trying to relax with those outcomes. Yes. And not attach to them. Yes. For example, you might want a concentrated mind. You might want to sit down and have great concentration come. You might want that. Right? Wouldn't that be good? For great concentration to come here and great relaxation and openness and focus and the ability... In concentration, you can do great work. Wouldn't that be great if that came? So you might want... You might actually welcome that.

[47:57]

So you sit down, but you're not attached to it. Yes. Okay. That would be appropriate. If you want those things, not being attached to them will be conducive to realizing them. Yes. So I come to what I call an edge. where my edge would be defined as I'm starting to feel very uncomfortable physically, maybe. Okay. So then a thought arises, be compassionate here, be compassionate to this discomfort. But there's also a thought, a thought arises that if you stay with this or, well, okay, so now in talking about it. A thought arises if you stay with it and then bring compassion to that thought. Okay, okay.

[48:57]

But I guess my ego or there's a thought that occurs like, push yourself, you know, stay here, push yourself, don't move. Yeah, that thought can arise. It can be pain. And then you could say, and then you could bring compassionate care to the pain. Okay. And the next moment, there can be push yourself. Yeah. And then you can be compassionate care to push yourself. And the push yourself, when it feels that compassion, may go, if you'd like, push yourself. Do you want to push yourself? Go ahead, push yourself. And be compassionate to that, too. When you're practicing compassionate care of anxiety or compassionate care of sitting still and quiet that does not mean that a thought like push yourself will not come. When you're practicing concentration any thought can come. When you're practicing concentration you're opening your mind and letting anything come.

[49:59]

That will set up the possibility of playfulness and creativity. So, you can get macho about concentration. Okay? And when the macho comes, or macha comes, you practice kindness towards it, and you practice relaxation with it, if you're trying to develop concentration. So it is okay to push yourself, just as long as you're practicing compassion with that. Pushing is okay. if you're pushing yourself and you practice compassion with the pushing, if you're generous and careful and patient with the pushing, then you can be concentrated with the pushing. Like, you've seen weightlifters, right? They are pushing. And if they're really good, they're also relaxed.

[51:04]

Somehow in the middle of the push, they're relaxed. And there are Not tense, even though they're really tensing. In the middle of the tension, oh, that was a guy, Michael Phelps, the swimmer, who won eight gold medals or something. He's kind of making a big effort. He's pushing. He's pushing the water. He's pushing his hands through the water. But people watching him say, he's the most relaxed one. He's the most relaxed. They're all pushing, but he's the most relaxed. In other words, he's the most concentrated. They're all strong. They're all pushing. And he's the most relaxed. He's the most at ease. And therefore, even he could be the most playful and and free but for starting anyway concentration he's pushing and he's relaxed so you can push you can think of pushing and you can actually push when you sit actually oftentimes you are pushing your spine upright in a sense so when you're sitting in meditation or walking in meditation you actually are making an effort to be upright there's kind of an erection there

[52:22]

which is an effort. So it's an erection or an uprightness with relaxation, though. It should be. So I sometimes say it's like an upright swoon, the concentration. You're making an effort. You're not just collapsed, but you can collapse and also practice concentration, but when you're sitting upright, you are making an effort, considerable effort. and then relax. So there's a kind of pushing against the earth, and the earth is pushing back, and this mutual support makes it possible for you to have this upright sitting posture like the Buddha's. The Buddha there is sitting upright, making an effort, and the Buddha is... Does that guy look relaxed or what? Yeah. Thank you. You're welcome. A lot of Buddhist meditators or Zen meditators make a big effort sitting, it's a big part of the practice, and they make a big effort.

[53:52]

But sometimes their effort is actually not so compassionate towards themselves and towards their body. And sometimes they are attached to some outcome, like becoming concentrated or becoming enlightened. They are actually attached to some excellent results. the results are excellent but the attachment to it is contraindicated like they're attached to becoming not attached quite common and when I first started practicing concentration I was doing this practice of following the breath and I got very aggressive towards myself about following the breath I threatened to punish myself if I lost my focus on my breath. So I was focused, I was trying to focus on my breath, I was somewhat focused on my breath, but I was not allowing any restlessness. I was not allowing any flexibility around this focus on the breath.

[55:02]

If there was any flexibility, you know, like not focusing on the breath, I promised to punish myself. So I coerced myself into focus with no restlessness, and I was not relaxed. But I finally got myself under complete control and totally fixated on the focus of the breath with no variation. And when I got there, I realized this was not what I wanted in my life and I stopped that way of practice about 42 years ago I do not force myself to concentrate however I do focus on things quite frequently not every moment but a lot of the time I'm focusing on something I'm absorbed on something and I'm enjoying that, and I'm also attending to whether I'm flexible about it, and whether there is relaxation, and whether there is a kind of spaciousness about it, an openness about it.

[56:19]

All these qualities are characteristic of a concentrated mind, the mind of the beings who accomplish great works. who both are wise and use that wisdom to make great effort for the welfare of beings. Could you say it again? Yeah. Yeah, so I'm saying that absorbed in the work, like an artist absorbed in her work, I'm saying that actual absorption has these qualities, that beings who are absorbed in a rigid way, people, again, people often think of absorption as rigid. Yeah, people often think of absorbed as obsessive.

[57:22]

Yeah, absorbed is leaving other things out. And I'm saying that if you're really going to be successfully absorbed, you'll be more successfully absorbed if you're open. If I push away other things, the things I push away will disturb my absorption because I'm connected to them. If I push them away, they'll stress my absorption and my absorption will break. if I include everything in my absorption the absorption cannot be disturbed the absorption is constantly changing and again if I'm rigid in my absorption when things change I'll lose my absorption but if my absorption is flexible if my concentration is flexible it can adjust to change and be absorbed in this and this and now this and this and if you come and push me, I can welcome that push into the absorption.

[58:30]

So again, rather than not use the word absorption or concentration or focus, I use these words and explain what it's like when you actually have the kind of concentration, the kind of absorption, that basically cannot be disturbed because it's already including any possible disturbance. That's the kind of absorption which sets up the possibility of Buddha's wisdom. An absorption which excludes things is not ready to play. An absorption which excludes things is not ready to be creative. The kind of absorption I'm talking about is absorption which is setting up wisdom and understanding and freedom. Not just being rigidly focused on my own self-concern. People are actually rigidly focused on their own self-concern, but that's not concentration, that's just called attachment.

[59:33]

Again, watch a little baby. Baby monkey, baby girl. You know, this little granddaughter of mine is very good at sucking. We want them to be able to do that. They are good at attaching. They aren't open to the whole environment. They're attached to their mother and their food source and so on. That is attachment. It looks like concentration, but it's not concentration. It's attachment. It's focused, but it's not concentrated. It's attachment. So again, I think a lot of people think of concentration very close to attachment, and absorption is close to attachment. I'm trying to open this up for you. Please come, Karen. Please come, Amanda. Please come. You don't want to come? Oh, okay. I can't hear you. A sponge. [...]

[60:38]

Yeah. My daughter's, one of her best friends is SpongeBob's wife. Yes. Yeah, please. You don't have to stop. That's okay. I didn't stop. You stopped. Okay. So I have thought in the past of concentration as concentration on an object to the exclusion of all others. okay that's what concentration object to the exclusion of all others that's the way you thought about it yeah that's what most people think about it like i'm concentrating on you and excluding the rest of the people yeah and i'm saying that's not concentration in in the you know in terms of spiritual meditation concentration is paying attention to what you're paying attention to and open to everything else

[61:50]

Now I'm looking at Francois, and even though I'm looking at her, I can notice the way she's stroking her chin. I don't have some fixed idea of some aspect of her. Now I'm looking at Melissa, now I'm looking at Gary, now I'm looking back to Karen. That's concentration. You can be totally with what you're aware of and ready to include everything else. Concentration is open. It's focused on something and open. So if I said in a way that... It's good stuff. Yeah, it is. It's really good stuff. I mean, there's a couple of things. I think of if I'm concentrated in that other way and I look at you, I only see you and I know you and I'm comfortable in a way with that more open concentration. I'm aware of people that I don't know. So that's going to create some other kinds of feelings and they're all there. The other kind of concentration, the kind of concentration I'm trying to instruct you in is a concentration where you open to being vulnerable.

[62:58]

Yeah. So I'm looking at you, but I know a lot of other things might happen any moment, and I'm okay with that. So now I'm focused on you, but I'm relaxed and at ease because I'm not afraid of being vulnerable. I accept that I'm vulnerable. When I accept that I'm vulnerable, that's a key ingredient in concentration. When I'm concentrated, I accept that I'm vulnerable to losing my concentration. When you accept that you're vulnerable to losing your concentration, you're more concentrated. When you're concentrated and you're open to losing your concentration, you're ready to perfect your concentration. So the basic instruction for perfecting, once you're concentrated, the basic instruction for perfecting it is to give it away. Not lose it. When you're concentrated, you're aware that you're vulnerable to losing it, which means you're vulnerable to misinterpreting giving it away.

[64:01]

Rather than lose concentration, give it away, and when you give it away, it gets deeper. If you hold on to concentration, it gets more superficial or you're just playing lose it. A lot of people are concentrating and they're just fine, they're relaxing and they grab it and they lose it. And then they spend lots of time looking for it again, running all over the place trying to find it and getting more and more hysterical or obsessive-compulsive. So if I said that in this case, the concentration that you're talking about, in a way, the object of concentration is the quality of your consciousness, would that be wrong? Did you say the object of your concentration could be the quality of your consciousness? Yeah. That's a perfectly good object of concentration. And one of the qualities of your consciousness could be... Anxiety. This is an anxious state of consciousness. And I'm concentrating on the anxiety which is presenting.

[65:06]

Another quality of your consciousness could be grief. Another quality could be pleasure. Another quality could be pain. Another quality could be confusion. So you've got a state of consciousness. What's it like? Oh, it's confused. Okay, now let's pay attention to that. let's be kind to that and now let's calm down with it and be relaxed with it and focused on it and take care of it and now in this open focus I'm ready getting ready for the wisdom process now I can start to play with this because I'm not I'm not closed to this thing changing so I'm open to playing with it I'm open to it doing all kinds of amazing things The state of consciousness. I'm aware of all six senses. It's all six senses, yes. Like I said, it's sentient and insentient.

[66:09]

The insentient is the sense consciousnesses which are related to material things. That's pretty interesting. Thank you for the shoulder rub. That was, I needed that. You're welcome. Thank you. You're welcome. Nancy, yes? Yes, Nancy? So Nancy and Gail? Nancy and Gail are sisters. And Nancy's going to ask a question now, which her sister said she was going to ask. Well, first of all, I'm quite anxious.

[67:11]

And I'm happy that you're aware of that. And I think I am aware of that. Great. Yesterday you mentioned grief and then the steps that would follow to be free of grief or sadness or fear or whatever, you know, your... And in that progression is playfulness. And I am looking for how one can be playful with grief or sadness or fear. Although when you were talking about cooking and being creative with that, I can actually see one being playful with their cooking. So that was a wonderful example. So you could see how being playful with cooking, can you see how when you're cooking, you might experience some anxiety?

[68:17]

Yes. Absolutely. And that if you can be open to that anxiety in your cooking, that would facilitate you continuing to cook. Yeah. But I still can't see a situation, I guess, or an example that if I was... fearful and I was accepting and appreciating that I was fearful and opening to being fearful How do I play with that? Yeah, well, did you hear her question? If she was fearful, how would she play with being fearful? Okay, that's the question, right? And you also said that you were feeling fear now. Okay, so now we can talk about right now, right? Yeah. Yeah. This is the situation you're wondering about. And you just answered my question.

[69:19]

And what did I say? You just showed me that you are playing with me. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. We just did it. How did that happen? Serendipity. She said serendipity, okay, it was serendipitous, but it also, because you offered me this opportunity, and you invited me to play with you, and you asked me a question. That was already playful. And I was about to explain, but she got it before I said anything. She actually started playing. But it was because you generously offered, you know, you showed yourself, you were aware of yourself and you showed yourself, and then you invited me to show you this, and in that openness, you actually, there was some flexibility and you immediately started noticing there was play. Now, I could go into detail about what you went through, but anyway,

[70:23]

In other cases where you can't immediately go to where she's talking about, which she did, the first step in becoming playful with grief or anxiety is to welcome it. And a lot of people, when they're feeling grief and anxiety, they say, how can you welcome grief? I say, well, you could just say, welcome. How could you become a hostess or a host to difficult guests? Well, by having a lot of guests. And notice that, you notice, I wasn't very welcoming to that guest. I wasn't very welcoming to that. I'm practicing guesting, but I'm not really welcoming my guests. But I'm trying to learn it. And eventually you say, oh, finally I welcomed it. Finally I welcomed grief. Wow. Then you start practicing carefulness with it because you can trip up on it. Then you start practicing patience with it. Then you're ready to start relaxing with it and playing with it. But you went very fast through the whole process.

[71:26]

You hardly even noticed it. Because when she said, how can you play with it, I was going to go back and set it up. She just jumped ahead and did it. I say she just jumped ahead and did it, but really... We did it together. I was supporting you. I was thinking of all the steps you had to go through and you went through them very quickly before I had a chance to say them. It's amazing, yeah. It's unbelievable. It's a miracle. And she was anxious. She was playful while she was anxious. She didn't wait for anxiety to go away before she started playing. Are you still anxious? Yeah, she's still anxious. Okay, so I'm very happy with how well you're learning to be creative.

[72:32]

and facing difficult things there's lots of difficulties in our hearts that we have here and thank you very much and now we have a little break actually kind of a big break where you can enjoy being compassionate to whatever comes and see if you can be generous practice everything you see See if you can look at everything you see with eyes of compassion. And see if you can listen with ears of compassion. And then see if you feel ready to relax with whatever you're seeing. And then we come back at, I guess, three o'clock and continue here. Okay? Anything else before we have a little break? Thank you very much.

[73:34]

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