Thank you all for another lovely day at No Abode. I enjoyed pouring liquid asphalt into cracks on the road. I hope you enjoyed taking care of this place during the work period, and I hope you enjoyed wholeheartedly sitting and walking here today. Is there anything you'd like to tell me or each other? Any feedback on the process of the day? I would like to hear the verse again that you said this morning about sitting meditation, sitting Buddha. So the teacher of Master Ma asked Master Ma,

[01:18]

actually said to him, you know, if you're driving a cart and the cart doesn't go, do you beat the cart or do you beat the ox? And the student, Master Ma, did not reply. And then the teacher said, are you learning about meditation, seated meditation, or are you learning about seated Buddha? If you're learning about seated meditation, meditation is not sitting still. If you're learning about seated Buddha, Buddha is no fixed characteristics. Buddha is no fixed characteristics. In the non-abiding Dharma, there should be no grasping or rejecting. If you're learning seated Buddha, this is killing Buddha.

[02:26]

If you grasp characteristics of sitting you're not reaching its principle. So there's a simple instruction for us to cherish and care for as we move through the world, and that is that the non-abiding, the no abode, the non-abiding Dharma, in the non-abiding Dharma, there is no grasping or rejecting. No grasping or rejecting. Okay?

[03:29]

Could you say a little bit more about the other part, the Buddha, the seated Buddha, and that's really interesting, and the meditation is not sitting still, and the... Yeah, if you're trying to learn seated meditation, then the meditation is not sitting still. So one way to understand that is, If you're learning seated meditation, seated meditation has nothing to do with sitting still. But another way to understand it would be if you're trying to learn seated meditation, the meditation is not still. It's wobbling because you're trying to learn it. It could be both those things. The second part, if you're trying to learn seated Buddha, then you kill the Buddha.

[04:32]

Well, he's not telling you not to do it. He's not telling you not to do it. He's just saying, if when you're practicing seated meditation, or if when you're practicing you're trying to learn dash make a Buddha, you kill the Buddha. Doesn't tell you not to kill the Buddha, just telling you that that does kill the Buddha. Just like the Buddha doesn't necessarily tell you don't be half-hearted, he's just telling you that when you are half-hearted, there are certain consequences. This is the law, just hearing the law. The law is if you're trying to study Buddha, you kill the Buddha. Trying to learn the Buddha, you kill the Buddha. Trying to make a Buddha, you kill the Buddha. And if when you're practicing sitting meditation, you're trying to learn sitting meditation, then the meditation is not sitting still.

[05:44]

If you're sitting still, trying to learn meditation, then the meditation is not sitting still. And there's two meanings there. What does it mean? One meaning is that if you're sitting still, if you're practicing meditation, and usually we do seated meditation, usually when you're doing seated meditation you're sitting still. So if when you're sitting still in meditation you're trying to learn meditation, then the meditation is not sitting still. And one meaning is then the meditation is not still, and the other one is the meditation of sitting still is not sitting still. So one is saying, yeah, one is saying that there's movement in your sitting still if you're trying to learn sitting still.

[06:46]

When you're sitting still, you're not trying to learn sitting still. So if you try to learn sitting still when you're sitting still, you miss sitting still. But the other thing is that sitting still is not sitting still. Because sitting still also doesn't have any characteristics. Yes? Would you say there's merit in doing these practices and being aware that they're not sitting still? Is there merit in doing practices in what? You mean is there merit in noticing that you're grasping and rejecting? Is there? Yes, there is. There is merit in noticing that you're not practicing the non-abiding Dharma. It's good to notice that you're not and confess it.

[07:51]

A lot of merit in that. especially if you confess it in the presence of the great Sangha, including all your comrades and all the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas. I am not practicing the non-defiled Dharma. I am into rejection and grasping. Do you have to say it like that? That's all right. No, you do not need to say it that way, my boy. You can say it any way you want as long as no grasping or rejecting. Now you, Max. Now, Max? Yes.

[08:58]

I think it's a big gift to be here, and I thank you very much. And your words have been very kind and helpful. And I very much love the story that you tell about how we're all – I don't know how to say it – connected or doing the same activity within the same conversation and And I also have to say that about 15 years ago, I drew this image, this self-portrait of this ocean coming up, and there's a person coming up, reaching up to the sun. And when I hear your words, sometimes I feel lost in my life, or right on, or off, or on. And so at least when I hear your words, I feel like I'm on, or at least going in a good direction. And that makes me feel better.

[10:02]

Thank you. Yes, John. Is there grasping there? There can be, but it doesn't have to be. And you can confess like I was confessing a little while ago. Maybe, you know, excuse me for saying so, but there might not have been. I was just, did you see me confessing? Now you say, well, you weren't really confessing, though. Well, I don't know if I was or not. But if you're looking at me and saying, well, you weren't really confessing, you were just dramatizing, you were just dramatically demonstrating a confession, but you weren't really confessing that you were

[11:11]

rejecting and grasping. So then you would say, my confession didn't fulfill the requirements of the characteristics of confession. Does that make sense? But I don't know if it did. I just went ahead and did that confession. I thought it might be helpful. So me doing that confession could be similar to me doing a confession of something I thought I did. with the same spirit of, I don't really know if I'm doing confession. But I also could say, this is a confession of something I really did do, and this is a real confession because it follows those characteristics. And so I could be grasping that I'm in accord with the characteristics of confession while I'm confessing. I could. That doesn't nullify the virtue of the confession, though. like Carolyn was saying, is there any merit in being aware that you're rejecting and grasping? So even while you confess that you're, for example, grasping the characteristics of confession, there's still some merit in that.

[12:22]

But sometimes you might get so wholeheartedly into the confession that you lose track of whether you're even meeting the requirements of confession. In other words, you don't grasp in your wholehearted confession, you stop grasping. At the conclusion, at the ultimate point of your confession, there's no grasping of the characteristics of confession. But as you enter into the confession, you may say, well, I've got to find the form of confession to start. So at the beginning, you may have a little bit of grasping of the form of confession. And then as you get more and more into it, in the wholeheartedness, you can't find anything to grasp. even though you entered the door of confession, now you don't know if you're confessing or you're a falcon or you're a great song. You don't... What was it again? What was I doing here? Was there some boundary on this? I think sometime in my past there was like a nice little confession that started here and now the whole universe is in on this deal, in that wholeheartedness.

[13:27]

Does that make... Does that... Yeah. No, I wonder if it seems like the... The immediate moment of confession comes with an awareness that you are grasping, rejecting. Just that immediate awareness seems not to be wholehearted, the awareness itself. Yes, and then you can say, or you can skip the grasping and the rejecting and just say, I'm confessing a lack of wholeheartedness. And I really feel like I'm opening up to this wholeheartedness. I mean, I'm opening up to this lack of wholeheartedness. I'm making a lot of space here for this lack of wholeheartedness. And it just feels really good. I'm just like, you know, my skin is like dropping away, making room for this lack of wholeheartedness. And it's wonderful. And I kind of feel like I'm heading towards wholeheartedness in my admission.

[14:27]

of my half-heartedness. In my admission of my limit, my boundary, I'm feeling more and more that it's huge, it's connected to everybody else's half-heartedness and so on. You know, open to the huge truth, the great song of the Dharma. True, and you can start with, I'm grasping, I'm rejecting, or anyway, I'm half-hearted. I'm half-hearted. Boy, am I half-hearted. I am like... This is... It's not even mine anymore. It's our whole... It's our half... Maybe it's not even... It's getting big, this half-heartedness. It's getting really big. It's wonderful. The whole universe is participating and manifesting as half-heartedness. The entire universe is manifested as half-heartedness.

[15:29]

But I start by saying half-heartedness or death or birth. And then work with that. Work it. Play it. And part of this story is that we can work the thing about, you know, the form of sitting, you know. If you grasp the form of sitting or the characteristics of sitting, you don't reach the sitting. But you can't reach the sitting without grasping the form of sitting. So you have to grasp the form of sitting and not reach the principle of sitting in order to realize that you're not reaching the principle of the sitting. But we can't have any sitting without the form of sitting. But if you grasp the form of sitting, you don't reach the essence. But then you say, well, I'm not going to grasp the sitting, I'm not going to like sit cross-legged upright in a zendo, because if I do, in order to do that I've got to grasp the sitting to get my seat, I've got to grasp my seat

[16:43]

my assigned seat, this is my assigned seat, I gotta grasp it, gotta grasp my zafu and hold on to it and sit on it and put my butt on top. I gotta do all that stuff in order to get in my seat. And then, like, Okay, now I'm here by grasping. And now I'm not going to shift to rejecting. I'm just going to remember that now I've got this form of sitting, it doesn't reach the sitting that I wanted to practice. And then this kind of effort is called opening to wholeheartedness. But again, a lot of people would avoid a practice that has a form because they kind of know that if they get the form, they'll hold on to the form and then they'll miss the point. So they stay away from a form. And the other people don't. They come and say, okay, I'll embrace the form, and then they embrace the form, and then they lose the essence. The other people think, maybe I'll be able to keep the essence if I don't grasp the form. Well, no, it doesn't work that way. You're just postponing your grasping.

[17:50]

You have to grasp in order to realize the essence, but when you grasp, you don't. But if you're open to that, then you open to the essence. That's the key point in the practice. Take the form, miss the essence, realize that, Open to the essence. Open to that you don't have the essence. Open to the essence. Hold on to that you do have the essence. Close to the essence. Do you have some feedback, Kate? You have a question about pain? Yes? Yes?

[18:54]

A question about pain that arises in physical sitting. And could I say something to Karen? And Karen, is your head touching that thing? The screw? It's tilting over towards you. It's coming towards you. Okay, thanks. I'm glad you're careful. Yes? Yes? If you could just say something about kind of the right attitude. The right attitude towards pain? Yes, a helpful attitude. Pain is in my left arm. Yeah, okay. So I'm going to ask you if you can guess what I'm going to say. Yeah, what else? Not reject it. Right. What else? Not grasp. Right. What else? Right.

[20:00]

Right. What else? Opening. Not grasping or rejecting. Being upright with it. Don't lean into it. Don't lean away from it. And from this uprightness, you might say, I think I'm going to uncross my legs. I think I'm going to stand up and take a little walk. I think I'm going to keep sitting with this pain in my shoulder a little longer. And this thinking is coming from being upright with the thinking that I'm in pain. I think I'm in pain. And I'm honest about that I'm not grasping or rejecting it. I'm open to it. I'm tender with it. I'm flexible with it. Like somebody come up to you and say, Kate, you're not actually in pain. You say, you're so right.

[21:03]

I'm just in pain. But not, you know, in a defiant way, but just like, hey, I was flexible and now I'm flexing back to the pain again. See you later. This is called the correct attitude towards anything. By me. And if you tell me this is not my attitude, I would try to be flexible with that. Okay? Pain, mommy, daddy, baby, girlfriend, boyfriend, crazy, pleasure, big waves, grasping rejection, Zen Buddhism, all that stuff, whatever it is, meet it with no mind, is another way to say it, more of a Zen way to say it.

[22:08]

But no mind means be upright. Don't hold on to it. This is the mind, this is the attitude that I'm going to relate to this to. Yeah, right, but then give that away now. Meet it with no mind, which again is this way. Being upright means you're not holding on to the mind of how to meet this. Proper attitude is don't hold on to your attitude of the proper attitude. Got a good attitude? Anybody got a good attitude? Hand it over. Leave all your good attitudes here. Of course, if you have any bad attitudes, they're also welcome. So, not grasping, not seeking is also welcome pain. Welcome pain.

[23:09]

Not, I like pain. That's masochism. Not, I hate pain. I don't know what that is. But anyway, not I like or dislike pain. It's pain, welcome, welcome, yeah, welcome. Welcome pain, but only when it comes. Not come on pain, come on, where are you? Come on pain, I'm not in pain, this is weird. Where are you, come pain. No, it's like welcome pleasure, because it's happening. Welcome Kate, welcome Elena, Welcome, Ali. Welcome, Shoho. Welcome, Charlie. You know? Welcome. Just because you're here. But when you go, welcome going. Going, going, going beyond, going entirely beyond.

[24:09]

Welcome pain. Okay? Welcome enlightenment. Not hold on to enlightenment. Not hold on to pain. Not like enlightenment. Not enlightenment is better than pain. No. Not the Buddha way is better than the demon way. No. The Buddha way better than the demon way is the demon way. Which apparently quite a few are familiar with. You know that way, right? The Buddha way is better than the demon way. You know that one. That's the demon way. No kidding. That's the demon way. But that's not worse than the Buddha way. So it's fine that you prefer the Buddha way over the demon way. No problem. The Buddha way is not to prefer the Buddha way over the demon way. It just is the Buddha way of not preferring the Buddha way. But you knew that already, right? Right? What you didn't know is that preferring the Buddha way and the Buddha way being better than the demon way, you didn't know that that was a demon way.

[25:18]

But now you do, right? So, when the demon way comes, welcome. Welcome, demon way. Hi. What's that? Oh, yeah. The Buddha way is better. The whole heart is better than half-hearted. That's the demon way. Right? Is that clear? So, wholeheartedness is the Buddha way. And the Buddha way isn't that poor-heartedness, which is the Buddha way, is better than half-heartedness, which isn't the Buddha way. It's not that. It's just, that's what it is. Everything else is not that. And it embraces everything that's not that, too. That's the kind of guy the Buddha way is. It's not a guy. But you already knew that, right? But you forgot. A long time ago you forgot. And now you remember. So you want to say anything, Paul, before you leave today?

[26:29]

Paul thanks you for allowing him to be here. You're welcome. You're welcome. Stephen, is there anything you'd like to tell us before you stay here? Where did Christine go? Is she okay? Yes. Good. Did you want to tell us something, Lynn? May I ask a question? Okay. Okay. Taking one of the phrases of the Four Foundations of Mindfulness. Four Foundations of Mindfulness, yes. What about them? The phrase that says, in and of itself, putting aside greed and distress with reference to the world. Could you comment on how this can be practiced in the way that you're talking about now? Okay, so there's a practice called mindfulness of, for example, your body.

[27:39]

So it says, be mindful of the body in the body, or be mindful of the body just as the body, without grief and distress. Greed. Oh, greed or distress. Without greed or grief. Without grief or distress. Does grief and distress sound familiar to any of the answers we were saying earlier today? Greed and distress, does that remind you of anything else we were talking about earlier? Grasping and aversion? Yeah, grasping and rejecting. So it's a practice of being mindful of your body without grasping or rejecting. Be mindful of your body as your body without grasping and rejection. In other words, be open to your body. When the body comes, when bodily experience comes, open to it. Be upright with it. No grasping or rejecting of it. No greed or distress.

[28:43]

No kind of like, oh, this is a good body, we're going to hold on to this one a little longer, please. Or this is a bad body, let's get rid of it. No. So you can stop before saying greed and distress or rejecting and rejecting and grasping. You can stop before you say that and just say, body, wholehearted, or body, completely body. That's enough. But just to make it clear, wholehearted means not grasping it or rejecting it. And does it mean rangeful? Does it mean mindful? Yeah, well, you have to be aware that there's body there in order to have that form which you're now not going to grasp or reject. Because some people say, no problem, I have no problem with not grasping or rejecting. And then you say, here's a body, and they go, oh, wow.

[29:48]

So, yeah. give you this precious body and then say, now that you got it, now let's see if you can not reject it. Here, his body has a real bad case of whatever. Now let's see if you can not reject it. Here, here you go. And here's one that's like healthy and happy and flexible and pain-free. Here it is. Now let's see if you got it. Now let's see if you can have it without grasping it. Do you test your, in other words, test your what? your non-abiding Dharma. Test your wholeheartedness. If you're wholehearted with your body, you won't grasp or reject it. So now you've got one, see if you can be so wholehearted with it you can't hold on to it or get rid of it. Be mindful of it. There it is, oh God, it's got this front and a back and got armpits and Yeah, you can wash it.

[30:53]

Here it is. Got a body. Okay, now let's do it. Let's wholeheartedly have a body. Does it get bigger? It kind of gets bigger. It gets huge. You start getting really obese. Being mindful of it in this way. It gets huge. It gets huge. It gets so huge. And it also gets so little. It gets extremely little. It gets to be very, very limited. And you're open to that limitedness and then you realize the whole universe is manifesting in this little thing. So it's like we say, in its, I think we say, in its greatness it is utterly beyond location. In its smallness It fits into spacelessness. It's so tiny. It's so huge. What is it in that case?

[31:58]

We're talking about bodies now. You can use that phrase. We're talking about bodies, but also feelings, whatever, anything. When you deal with this way, it becomes vast and it becomes limited. Is the vastness the absolute and the limited that can bend here? Are you wholehearted? Yes. What? Yes. Yes? A wholehearted question. Are you wholehearted? I don't know how to answer that question. Are you wholehearted? I think so. And? Are you going to continue to walk the path of wholeheartedness? Step by step.

[32:59]

Wholeheartedly step? Wholeheartedly by step? That's not going to be your way now? Yes. Great. And you're not trying to get anything anymore, right? on this path of wholeheartedness? I'm not trying to get wholeheartedness. You're not trying to get wholeheartedness, right? Right? On the path of wholeheartedness, you're not trying to get wholeheartedness, right? Right? Right. Right? Right? I didn't talk you into this, did I? I hope you did. That's good. Yes, Kim. Speaking of bodies and bodhis and siddhis.

[34:04]

Speaking of bodies and bodhis. In England they call the body a bodhi. My bodhi hurts, yes? Is there any virtue in being able to sit like that according to the Soto tradition? So, you know, my body, the limitation I reach is that... Do you say is there any virtue in sitting wholeheartedly? No posture. There's virtues in all postures. Yeah. But the virtues in some postures... the posture of wholeheartedness is inconceivably great. Like we say, every moment of sitting meditation is equally wholeness of practice, equally wholeness of enlightenment. And the merit of that sitting, if all the Buddhas got together and tried to measure it, they would not be able to.

[35:05]

So the merit of the wholehearted practice is inconceivable. And everything's like that when it's wholehearted. And by the way, this posture, the cross-legged position, you just do it one moment at a time. One moment. You can't do one moment. You mean you can't get your legs crossed? Well, then what we usually do is you break the legs. So, yeah, just before you die, we can break your legs. Just the last minute there. In the meantime, whatever position you're in, whatever position you're in,

[36:06]

Give your posture to wholeheartedness. Donate your body to wholeheartedness. And the virtues of that are infinite. But whatever posture you're in has some virtue. But the great virtue is when your posture is wholehearted. When your posture isn't used for grasping or rejecting life. Okay? That's the real merit. That's the thing that we...that's really what the practice is about. But the shape of the body, whatever shape it is, it's an opportunity for this practice. Okay? That's what I say. That's my story. Better than knowing the body is knowing the mind of peace. Pardon? Better than knowing the body is knowing the mind of peace. Better than knowing the body is knowing the mind of peace?

[37:09]

Yeah. And I would say that knowing the body and knowing the mind are knowing the body and knowing the mind. Knowing the mind of peace is knowing the mind of peace. And so let's know wholeheartedly which will be the mind of peace and the body of peace. it'll be the, actually, the true mind of peace and the true body of peace. And the pure mind of peace and the pure body of peace. And the mind of no abode? And the mind of no abode? Yeah. Yeah. Yes? You're assuming that mindlessness is the opposite of no mind. Is that true? Mindlessness is the opposite of no mind? No, not necessarily. No mind is mindless in the sense that it's not the ordinary mind which is trying to grasp things.

[38:15]

So no mind means no mind which is uptight and closed down. When we say no mind, we mean no grasping, seeking mind. Yeah, well, you're right when you thought that. That's a correct thought. Now let go of that one. What? Mindlessness is grasping and seeking. Mindlessness? I think mindlessness can be grasping and seeking, but also you could also be mindful and be grasping and seeking too. There's infinite possibilities here. But maybe, can you not be mindless in the sense of just distracted and spaced out without grasping and seeking? What?

[39:19]

She said, say it again. Please say it again. mindless in the sense of distracted and spaced out, is there any way to be that way without grasping and ceasing, seeking, grasping and rejecting? It doesn't... It feels like it sometimes, but I don't think so. You mean you think maybe it's not possible to be that way without grasping and seeking? That's my... That's your current theory? My theory. Yeah. And what do you think, Elena? Elena? What do you think? I need to consider it further. Okay. I think that I agree with your theory and I think we should test it. See if anybody can come up with being mindless and distracted without any grasping.

[40:24]

Like one way to test it is while being mindless and distracted, somebody asks you to change. Yeah, or somebody asks you to be generous and see if you can open to that. And immediately respond wholeheartedly. Anything else tonight? So the days are getting shorter and they're going to get shorter some more. So one more time before the days get super short, we can have another really dark day at no abode on the 15th of December. It'll be nice and dark. Will the demons come? And so the question is, will the demons come? And they will come

[41:27]

if somebody here will be their companion. And I'm willing to be a companion to demons, so I think they will come. And they really are welcome. Also Buddhas are welcome, so you guys can come too. May our great bodhisattva intention

[41:55]

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