My understanding of his understanding, Rohini by Zaza. The founder of Zen Center, Suzuki Roshi, said on at least one occasion, our practice is just to sit, or we say our practice is just to sit. Shikantaza. But just sitting is rather difficult to understand. So I'm trying to help you and me understand what our practice of just sitting is. So I already talked to you before about this poem, these two poems, one written by an ancient Chinese teacher, and another one written by an ancient Japanese teacher.

[01:07]

And they're both called Zazen Shin, or the Needle of Zazen. And at the beginning of both poems, It says, Pivotal activity of all Buddhas. So the point, the needle of zazen, is this pivotal activity. Which again, I will keep talking to you about this until we all enter it. And then, maybe I'll show them. I wrote the Chinese characters for pivotal activity over there, which, again, the first 40 years or so that I practiced, I saw that translated as essential activity.

[02:17]

of all Buddhas. So zazen is the pivotal activity of all Buddhas, which is also, zazen is the essential activity of all Buddhas. Zazen is the necessary activity of all Buddhas. You know, If there were a Buddha living with us now, and there was a baseball game, a Buddha might go to a baseball game. It's possible. Asanga said, teacher, we'd like to take you to a baseball game. Buddha might go. I could... Maybe Buddha would say, no thanks, but he might go, or she might go. If there's a fashion show, he might go. One time when I was in Eno, the city center, Suzuki Roshi was still alive, and he walked by my room one night and said to me, because I was in Eno, I guess, I was a student, but he informed Eno that he was going up to a movie.

[03:39]

And he kind of said, I have to go because these people asked me to. So, I don't know if he was a Buddha, but anyway, our great founder went to the movies one night. But I kind of feel cute for saying so. This is how I feel. Going to movies is not the essential activity of all Buddhas. But they might do it. Also, Being vegetarian is not an essential activity for Buddhists, but they might be vegetarian. There's lots of optional activities for Buddhists. Taking a bath is not an essential activity for a Buddha. Jump rope is not an essential activity. Speaking English or Japanese is not necessary. But this pivotal activity, there is a pivotal activity that is essential and is necessary.

[04:47]

This pivotal activity, I think, if you excuse me for saying, it is kind of like, it's the integration of all beings. It's personal integration and the integration of all beings. It is the source. And in the Hokkyo Zonmai, the Precious Near Samadhi, it says, it includes integration and it includes a row. In our place it says, communing with the source and communing with the process. I'm mentioning that because That samadhi, the precious mirror samadhi, is another name for zazen. And zazen includes integration, oneness, everything together at once, all past, present, and future, all beings together at once.

[05:56]

And it includes a road. So our Monday night class is about the road. It's about this process. that this integration goes through. But at the center of every moment of the process of evolution of the bodhisattvas, there is this source practice. And this source practice evolves. We can enter this source practice right now at our present level of development, and that will then naturally overflow into the next level of our practice. Tonight I want to emphasize more the source. I want to talk about the pivotal activity. And I've also been saying to you over and over, enlightenment is living in stillness.

[07:01]

And the character for stillness that I have in mind, the Chinese character, The character means still and silent. I think in Germany you have the word stillen, which means still and silent. Right? In English we have the two different words. Also in the... And we have a number of texts about Zazen by Dogen. We have... Shogo Genzo, which is many, many essays. And many people say all these essays are Zazen. Then we have other texts like Fukan Zazengi and Bendowa. which in the section of Vendor War that we chant is called Self-Receiving and Employing Samadhi.

[08:05]

So those are also about zazen. Are we doing the Fulkan Zazengi tomorrow morning? Yes. Tomorrow morning we're going to chant it? Yes. So in the Fulkan Zazengi it says, at one point, Think not thinking. How do you think not thinking? Non-thinking. And it says, this is the essential art of zazen. And at that point in the text, it has this character, which also means pivotal, and then a character which means art. It's the pivotal art. What's the pivotal art? Well, he's taking the example of thinking, and thinking is normally... I'll just flat out say it.

[09:18]

It is always going on in consciousness. When consciousness is activated, The overall pattern is in Sanskrit called cetana, and the Chinese character for that is translated into English, thinking. Thinking is an ever-present quality of consciousness. There's also always feeling. There's also some emotions. There's also consciousness, of course. And there's perception or conception in all states of consciousness. Thinking is the overall pattern of all the different dynamic elements of a moment of consciousness.

[10:23]

I said, enlightenment is living in stillness and silence. Zazen is living in stillness. A pivotal activity lives in stillness. Also in the stillness, not always, But sometimes, when there's consciousness, consciousness isn't always there, but when there's consciousness, in the stillness, there is thinking. Zazen, in the consciousness, in the stillness, in the consciousness, in the stillness, there is thinking. Zazen is not the thinking that's going on in consciousness.

[11:29]

Zazen is not no thinking. That's not zazen either. So zazen is neither thinking, nor is it no thinking, nor is it not thinking. What is zazen? Zazen is thinking, not thinking. Now, zazen is the pivotal activity of thinking, which is that thinking is not thinking. Zazen does not get rid of thinking and have no thinking, Zazen is how thinking is not thinking. But zazen is not not thinking. Zazen is how not thinking is thinking. Zazen is how thinking and not thinking are always depending on each other and pivoting on each other.

[12:40]

Zazen is not abiding in anything. Not abiding in thinking or not thinking. The way that thinking is not thinking, if thinking is not thinking, that is pivotal activity of awakening. That is the liberation from thinking and not thinking. And if there were no thinking, it would also be the pivotal activity of no thinking, which would be thinking again. I'll just comment briefly here Case number 19 of the Gitless Git is also about this. I'll tell you that story later. It's the story where Zhao Zhou asked Nan Xuan, What is the way? And Nan Xuan says, Ordinary mind is the way. And Gyalgyo said, well, should I aim towards it?

[13:50]

Or should I direct myself towards that ordinary mind? And Nantuan says, I think he said, if you direct yourself towards it, you turn away from it. And then, The japa just said, how would I know it? And Nantuan says, if you know it, that's delusion. And not knowing it is blind consciousness. So neither one of those are the ordinary mind. The ordinary mind is a consciousness that is pivoting. And Dogen chooses thinking. as the overall element of consciousness, which is pivoting. But also in consciousness, there's always feeling, and the feeling in consciousness is also pivoting. He didn't say that, but he could have said. He didn't say that because the story goes like this.

[14:57]

This statement comes from a story. A monk asked the ancestor, Yakuza Iga, Who was sitting still? He said, when you're still like this, what kind of thinking? And the ancestor says, thinking, not thinking. And the monk says, how do you think, not thinking? And the ancestor said, beyond thinking. And Dogen says, what did Dogen say about that? Huh? Not thinking. No, Dogen says, this is the essential art of zazen. This story tells the essential art of zazen. So, the reason why Nan Chuan said thinking, not thinking, was because the monk asked him what kind of thinking. I have another story where the Zen master is sitting and the monk comes to him and says, what kind of feeling is going on in your stillness?

[15:57]

And the Zen master would say, feeling, not feeling. How do you feel, not feeling? Beyond feeling. This is the essential art of Zazen. What kind of perceiving is going on in this stillness? Perceiving, not perceiving. On your perceiving, not perceiving. Beyond perceiving. It's not getting rid of. It's not perception. And it's not not perception. It's perception pivoting on not perception. You can pick anything. All phenomena. Everything's pivoting with not-themselves. Everything's not abiding in its position. Everything has a position that it doesn't abide in. So, that's the essential art, that's the pivotal art of zazen.

[17:06]

And recently, recently, you come to me and you say, talk to me about mindfulness of breathing. Some people have Vipassana in the background where they practice mindfulness of breathing. See? Mindfulness of breathing. I wrote it down. And I drew a line between mindfulness of breathing and thinking. Thinking. It seems to me that when I practice mindfulness of breathing, which I have done, and I could do any old time, I just did it. I inhaled and I would monitor what I inhaled. I inhaled again and I was mindful. I was practicing mindfulness of breathing. You saw me do it. I did it. I was doing it. It didn't kill me. mindfulness of breathing, some people have been practicing before they came to Zen, and some people after they came to Zen, and some people in our introductory zazen instruction teach mindfulness of breathing to the beginners when they come here.

[18:23]

So anyway, some people say to me, is it okay to practice mindfulness of breathing in Zen? And I say, yes. What makes mindfulness of breathing Zen? I'm going to wait for a while. Tell me how mindfulness of breathing is Zen. Or, you know, since you didn't say anything, I'll give you a hint. How is mindfulness of breathing the pivotal activity of all Buddhas? if you're not attached to it. Yeah. But that's just one aspect of it.

[19:27]

Not attached to mindfulness of breathing. Yes. That would be good. Beyond mindfulness of breathing? Yeah. To be practicing mindfulness of breathing, not attached to it, and beyond while doing it. Or, another way to say it is, you're practicing mindfulness of breathing and at the same time you're realizing mindfulness of breathing is not mindfulness of breathing. If you just practice mindfulness of breathing and you abide in practicing mindfulness of breathing, then you're doing something which is quite wholesome, and you might become concentrated by doing it, which is good. But to take that concentration practice into the Buddha practice, then that practice

[20:35]

has to become not that practice. Or that practice has to not abide in that practice, which it never did. But if you don't realize that you're not abiding in mindfulness of breathing, then you're a little bit separating yourself, that attitude separates yourself from the pivotal activity of all Buddhas. In stillness, Mindfulness of breathing is pivoting with not-mindfulness of breathing. Mindfulness is pivoting with not-mindfulness is pivoting with mindfulness. You cannot have not-mindfulness without mindfulness. You never do. You cannot have not-mindfulness of the bodhisattva path which I hear from some of you, you don't have.

[21:37]

I don't want to be mindful of the body psychopath. Okay, fine. But not wanting to be mindful of the body psychopath is being mindful of the body psychopath. You can't get away from it. Okay, so people say, how about following the... Is it okay to follow the breathing in a Zen temple, in a Zen zendo? Yes, it is. And if you do totally exert following your breathing, in stillness, your breathing will become not breathing. Your mindfulness of breathing will become not mindfulness of breathing. Then you're doing the practice which the zendo is set up for. But if you're not ready for that practice, you can still stay in a zendo and just follow your breathing. And abide in it and cling to it.

[22:40]

And if you ever notice that, you might apologize for it. I'm sorry I was abiding in my mindfulness of breathing. I'm sorry. I really do want to practice the bodhisattva way, which is a practice that doesn't abide in itself. See? How does body and mind fall away, fit into all this? It's another way of talking about it. It's beyond... It's beyond abiding in some activity? It's the same as not abiding. Again, it comes from a story. So, Dogen Zenji was sitting in a zendo in China, and his teacher, Ru Jing, yelled at the monks, you people should drop off body and mind. And Dogen's body and mind dropped off. Did I say it?

[23:42]

You people should drop off body and mind. Anybody decide to do that? So again, once Sladoga uses that term, and I would say he uses it for the pivotal activity of all Buddhism. The pivotal activity of the body drops off the body. The pivotal activity of the mind drops off the mind. The pivotal activity of the mind doesn't abide in the mind. and doesn't abide in not-benign. The pivotal activity of not-body drops off not-body. He's a creator, Dogi Zenji and other ancestors, very creative, so they talk in different ways. Maybe so the monks wouldn't get too bored and run away. Yes? But it's not so like you get very concentrated and more concentrated and finally body and mind drop off as a result of the concentration?

[24:49]

It's more something... No, they don't drop off as a result of the concentration. They drop off all the time. Anyway, no matter what you do, No matter what you do, even though some of you are trying to hold on to your body and mind, you are not successful. You can't hold on to your body and mind. And when you're concentrated, you open up to that reality. You join it. But it's not necessary. To be concentrated? Yeah, it is necessary. It is? Yeah, because you are concentrated. You actually are. As Albert Einstein pointed out, Matter is an extremely concentrated form of energy. Our bodies are tremendously concentrated. And not only that, but we're not the slightest bit anyplace else from the place we are. And the whole universe is included in each person. We are just inconceivably concentrated.

[25:52]

But if you don't practice concentration, you'll miss it. You'll miss what you are. You are you, but if you don't practice being you, you'll miss that you're you. The funny thing is that although you are dropping off body and mind, you have to practice it. You're making faces like you're trying to get a hold of something. But trust me, it's just good. You're kind of getting from there, I can't get a hold of it. Before I go, I just want to finish a little story. So another example, people come to me and they say, I'm asking in the background, is it okay to practice metta? And then some people say, who don't even have a Vipassana background. He said, well, metta's good, it seems to be good. I said, yeah, it is. So, can you practice metta in the pivotal activity of all Buddhas? Yes! Metta is loving-kindness.

[26:57]

Can you practice loving-kindness when you're sitting in silence? In fact, in silence and stillness there is great loving kindness, and there is great compassion. So it's fine to practice metta. And if you do it with total concentration, if you totally exert your metta practice, and you let everything be included in that, then that practice will reveal Metta practice is not metta practice. And then metta practice will be transcended, and then you have the perpetual activity while practicing metta, or while following breathing, or while thinking. And again, mindfulness of breathing is a form of thinking. Metta practice is a form of thinking.

[28:01]

May all beings... May all beings be free. May all beings be free of anxiety. Those are thoughts. Those are good thoughts. And when you totally exert them, you realize that that metta practice is not metta practice. And that beings are not beings. And so on. So all these practices can be included And they are included, because we do... Some people, they can't help but think of metta. I'm not going to think of metta. I'm thinking right now, but I'm going to stop any minute. You are a living creature, you have a consciousness, it could be any Buddhist practice, but the Bodhisattva is not supposed to abide in any thinking, not supposed to abide in any Buddhist practice. And that non-abiding in whatever phenomena you're dealing with, that's the perfect way to do it.

[29:17]

And if anybody has any other practices they want to do, please tell me about them, and I will probably accept them and support them. But I want you to do them totally. You know, fully exert them to the point where they go beyond themselves. Again, as the Guruji said, Buddhism is not one of those religions like Judaism, Catholicism, and Buddhism. Buddhism is when Judaism goes beyond Judaism, and Buddhism goes beyond Buddhism, and Catholicism goes beyond Catholicism, and Muslimism goes beyond Muslimism. It's when everything goes beyond itself. That's the Buddha way. It's when zazen leaps beyond zazen.

[30:20]

Again, as Gendro Cohen said, the Buddha way is basically leaping beyond gain and loss, abundance and lack. It's leaping beyond abundance, thinking, and lack, not wishing. It's leaping, leaping, leaping, freeing. That's what Buddhism basically is, and it can use whatever we've got, and we've always got something to totally exert. And this exertion, is something you don't do by yourself. There's one more point I want to make tonight. Earlier today, Aksan, I think, asked me something like, Do you think Zazen is practicing by myself or practicing with many people? Is that how you said it? Today you asked me, is Zazen practicing by myself or practicing with many people? I said, I've seen many people.

[31:26]

By yourself. So, in the Precious Mirror Samadhi, I mean, in the Self-Receiving and Employing Samadhi, towards the end it says, each moment of Zazen is equally wholeness of practice, equally wholeness of enlightenment. Remember that part? You haven't chanted it that many times, maybe it's not so familiar to you. The wholeness of zazen is my zazen and all of your zazen. That's the wholeness of zazen. Another translation is each moment of zazen is equally the same practice and the same enlightenment as the person sitting and all beings. That's the sasana. So I cannot totally exert my thinking by myself.

[32:38]

My thinking can be exerted together with all of you in dialogue. So again, in the story that's the origin of this teaching, The teacher and the student are talking. The student's helping the teacher show the student how to totally exert thinking. And the student's helping the teacher totally exert thinking and come up with this amazing statement. Think not thinking. He was able to say that because he had such a great student. And the student was able to hear that because he had such a great teacher. So, again, that's another dimension here, is that this process of totally exerting your thinking, your feeling, your breathing, your loving kindness, Whatever you are, you're able to do that because everybody's supporting you to totally exert it.

[33:44]

You don't do it by yourself. Even if you're up in the mountains and nobody's around, everybody's there supporting you. I rest my case and open to reply. What does it mean to fully exert doing something? What does it mean to fully exert it? You're talking about doing something? Like, for example, holding up some cushions. It means that you hold them up as a gift. You hold them up not to get anything.

[34:46]

You hold them up not to hold them up, but to give the action away. It means that you're careful of how you hold them up. For example, you're careful not to think that holding them up is a waste of time, or that you're better at holding them up than other people. You hold them up without trying to deceive people that you're holding them up. You hold them up with the aid of all the bodhisattva precepts. You hold them up as an act of patience. You hold them up not trying to get anywhere. You hold them up in the present. You hold them up with a mind that's flexible and open, which includes past and future, but is not turning towards the past or the future. You hold them up with the aid of all sentient beings.

[35:52]

You hold them up without abiding in holding them up. This is total exertion. And you could also say, what do those practices mean? They mean this. So I often use examples of like some transcendent physical act like a figure skater doing a triple axel. You ever heard of that? So when the figure skater goes up and dubs a triple axel at that time, they're not trying to get anything. They can't afford to be trying to get a good high score. If they do, they might be able to do the triple axel, but probably not. The first hundred thousand times they tried, all the things they did, the millions of trainings that they did to be able to do that, Their teacher was saying to them, you know, don't try to get anything out of this move.

[36:59]

You've got to just do this. But it takes a lot of training to do anything without trying to get something. But when you can do something without trying to get something, you're coming into the realm of total exertion. And we can tell when we're trying to get something out of what we're doing. Or we can tell when we're afraid of doing something not to get something and holding back. We can tell when we're overdoing it because we're afraid that somebody might think we're underdoing it. Or we're underdoing it because somebody might think we're overdoing it. We're trying to be good because we're afraid that someone would think we're bad. Or we're trying to do good because we're trying to avoid the harm of someone thinking we're doing bad.

[38:07]

So again, this pivotal activity is total exertion. So total exertion, you enter the pivotal activity, and in the pivotal activity your vision opens up and you can see but danger all around you. You realize you're in a pivot. You realize you're in crisis. When you're totally exerting, you see the crisis. You see the dangers all around you. You're open to all that. And you're fine. You're fine. You're where you want to be, which is here. Not even here. Which is you're not abiding here. You're here and not abiding here. And you realize, and also another thing you don't get into is saying, I did it, yeah, I did it. You're not arrogant, you're not possessive of this great performance. You realize that this performance of total exertion is given to you.

[39:11]

But again, you realize it by also demonstrating, I did this with everybody's support. Okay, so let's see. I saw Alex and I see Andreas again. Yes. So I'm wondering what you were just saying about you have to exert for a while or train before you can do something without trying or without trying to get something. Well, people do, yeah. Maybe the first time you do it, like beginner's luck, the piano teacher says, press that key and you press it. Or here's another example. It's on page 37 of the Book of Serenity. The great teacher Guishan says to Yangshan, how would you test this teaching that sentient beings just have karmic consciousness, like I just told you?

[40:16]

which is unclear and giddy and has no basis. How would you demonstrate that? And he said, if I see a monk, I say, hey, you. If he turns his head, I say, what is it? But what he doesn't mention in that is when you say, hey, you, and somebody turns their head, actually, most people, when you say, hey, you, and they turn their head, most people, when they do that, are not trying to get anything. And they turn their head wholeheartedly. And they're pivoting. They're fine. They're like a Buddha. What do you say? You say, hey, you're a Buddha. Buddha turns their head. Buddha will say, how dare they talk to me like that and turn the other way or hesitate. I'm not going to turn if they're going to talk to me with such disrespect. Hey, man. And then he says, what is it?

[41:22]

And then the person hesitates. You say, what is it? Then they think, what's the right answer? I've got to get the right answer. The teacher's asking me. The great Yangshan's saying, what is it? So we do actually, there are times in the day when we act just like a Buddha. And we're not trying to get anything. which is great. Now we have to do things which we haven't even learned how to do yet, which aren't like, hey you, and turn the head, but more like, what is Buddha? And to answer that, like turning your head. But usually when you start getting questions like that, you think, let me see now, what is Buddhism saying? Got a good answer, people are watching me. And then we get into trying to get something, like get it right. And then there's so many Zen stories about the teacher asking the student trying to get it right, and the teacher basically pointing out, no, that's not it.

[42:28]

You know, you gotta relax to answer this question. So I was wondering, Given that there's generally some need for training with exertion in some sort of direction before going beyond, wondering in the context of Shikantasa, it seems there's general discouragement towards exertion in any particular direction. No, there's no discouragement. I would say in this practice, there's no discouragement of exertion unless it's harmful. But it's not, as you pointed out, it's not mindfulness of breathing, right? It could be, though. Again, it could be mindfulness of breathing.

[43:32]

That could be the way you practice Shikantaza, is by following mindfulness of your breath. It's just that if you are practicing mindfulness of breath, then you have to do it wholeheartedly, which means you're not trying to get anything. Whereas most people, like me when I was young, they try to follow their breathing, but they try to get some consistency in following it. Which seems reasonable, right? But they're trying to get it. They're not just following their breathing. Like I just showed you, I was talking about it, and I noticed I was following my breathing. I wasn't trying to get it. following my breathing, it was given to me. It just popped up when I was mindful of it. So if I'm following my breathing to try to get something called following the breathing, then the teacher will point out, and that's not quite right. But you have to try. And then another story, the famous story of, you know the story of pulling a bow back? You know that story?

[44:33]

I'll tell you that later. Did you have more to say about this? You haven't quite got it there? I just wanted to clarify, so then I guess... Yeah, go ahead and try to clarify. See if you can do it without trying to get clarity. Go ahead. I'm going to be watching that. That was pretty good. Laughing is good. Usually you're not trying to get anything when you're laughing. Not abiding is a product of, or going beyond, rather, is sort of no gaining mind with full exertion, with no gaining mind. Right. So it isn't just like, there's various things which I haven't even tried yet, which I don't have any gaining idea about. Like I've never, I haven't even tried the tuba.

[45:35]

So I'm not, you know, I have never tried to get anything from tuba playing. But if I was in a tuba playing class, I probably would, you know, that would be a challenge to me, like blow that big thing without trying to get a sound to come out of it. And nothing happens. This is really fun. And also, I'm building up my biceps too. Great. But I can also slip into, after a while, you know, beginner's luck, I start that way, is playing the tuba without trying to become, get a sound out of it. Not to mention to be a great tuba player. Does anybody know a great tuba player? And not even be worried that there are no great tuba players today. I'm playing an instrument that there's no masters of. I probably won't be either. Nope, that's no problem. That's the instrument that they gave me in school.

[46:39]

So I'm going to blow on this thing. But after a while I say, I'm going to get good at this. And the teacher says, you're trying too hard. You're not trying, you're blowing too hard. You're not blowing hard enough. And then finally you blow the right way and And you weren't trying to get anything. And this beautiful sound comes out, and you say, I'm going to retire now. I see you. Anybody besides Andreas that hasn't asked a question yet? Ryan? What's the relationship between the phrase mind like water and Zada? Mind like water. Yeah, I'm thinking about the translation. It's an English translation from a Japanese-traveling phrase, I believe. Well, I don't know what text you're referring to. I think at the beginning of the Book of Tea, it opens up with it. But it's a phrase that came to mind when you're describing... The mind like water.

[47:41]

Zazen, yeah. So maybe the Japanese is essential for that, right? Well, maybe it's like mind has a function, you know? It makes things wet, but maybe the water is not trying to make things wet. But it does make them wet, maybe. Unless they're... But I guess even a metal dish, the water doesn't sink in much, but if you pour the water out of the dish, there's probably a little bit of wetness to it. So even something hard like a like a metal dish or a metal cup, even that can get wet. But the water isn't trying to wet the dish. But it does. And you're not trying to save the world, but you are. I mean, you might be trying to save the world. And to try to get something from that. But you might just be saving the world without trying to get anything. That would be Zaza.

[48:42]

Very relaxing. Sounds very relaxing. Yes, zazen is relaxing and zazen is... Csikszentmihalyi used to say, zazen is the great tenderizer. Okay, well, if nobody else, Andreas gets another one. Joining to Stephen's question, how much effort is in that whole exertion? How much? Total. if all your energy is in it. That's always my problem. I don't know yet. For a long time I thought, for example, with mindfulness of breathing, trying to be really good at it, and really trying to make some progress. Again, you can try to be really good at it, you can try to make progress, And if you totally try to make progress, you'll realize that this effort of trying to make progress is not trying to make progress.

[49:54]

Yeah. Okay. You relax. Yes? How does pivotal activity relate with stillness? It occurs in stillness. So when stillness happens, that supports... Stillness doesn't really happen. Stillness is the way we are. And the way we are is not really something that happens. And it's also not something that doesn't happen. So, right now you're the way you are, and you're not moving to be another way. And you cannot, if you move, if you move, you still are not another way, then you become stuck in the way you are. In your stillness, you naturally transcend the way you are. So again, it says, in stillness,

[51:03]

all this tremendous activity of liberating beings occurs. The pivotal activity isn't by turning people into being not the way they are. It's realizing that the way they are is not the way they are. And the way they aren't is the way they are. But you don't have to move anything to realize that that's the way things are. Things are not abiding, but each thing is not abiding in its own particular way. You're not abiding this way. Vanessa's not abiding in her way. Astra's not abiding in her way. And then each of you change, and now you're not abiding in the new version with the same name. But in the present moment, you're pivoting. Or you're pivotal. And you're not abiding. Without moving. If you move, you miss it.

[52:05]

When you say, for example, thinking is not thinking, it sounds to be different to saying thinking is pivoting on not thinking. One sounds more like the sentence thinking is not thinking. Take away the is. Because that's what he said. He didn't say thinking is not thinking. He said thinking is not thinking. That sounds like a big process, but often it is used like, beings are not beings, or mindfulness of breathing is not mindfulness of breathing. Maybe take away the... It's called a copula. Take away the is or are, and just say, thinking not... That's what he said. He said, what kind of thinking are you doing in stillness? The kind of thinking that's doing in stillness is thinking, not thinking.

[53:17]

So maybe I'm the one who introduced the word is. It's true, though, that thinking is not thinking. But you didn't say that. You said the pivotal activity is more like thinking, not thinking, thinking. Putting the copula in is dangerous. But we can try and... Yes and yes. Non-thinking to me sounds very spacious. Sounds like it holds. Another translation of non-thinking is beyond thinking. So some people translate non as beyond. So it's beyond spacious? No, beyond thinking. Right. If you want to go beyond spacious, that's fine too. And also, and then to articulate some more aspects of making effort with your thinking.

[54:22]

So if we're talking about thinking, then we practice hospitality with our thinking. Like we have a welcome center with our thinking. We welcome it. And then we're careful of it. We're not possessive of it. That's more about... Skimming in space. We let it be. We let the thinking be. We let the mindfulness breathe. We let the metta practice be. We welcome it. We let it be. We're careful of it. We don't try to manipulate it. And of course we don't hate it. We think we're better than it. We're patient with it. These are kind of like let it be practices. And if you let it be, suddenly it gets up and starts dancing. It does the me, not me, me dance. Or the thinking, not thinking, thinking dance.

[55:26]

If you let thinking be, it does its great show. It demonstrates the Buddha Dharma. And it's a lot of work to let things be. But we are hardworking creatures, so it's no problem. And you can work hard when you're tired or when you're rested. Yes? So thinking, not thinking. Is thinking a verb or a noun? I would say it's a verb. And so is not thinking also a verb? Who was it? Who was it? Yes. The precepts, are those guidelines for zazen?

[56:33]

Are they guidelines? For zazen. No. You can use them that way. I can use them. You can use them as guidelines, but they're also telling you what zazen is. They're teachings about zazen, or they're the reality of zazen. Zazen is not possessive of anything, including itself. Zazen is not above anything. It doesn't kill. It doesn't lie. It doesn't take anything that's not given to it. Everything is given to it, and it doesn't take any of that. Zazen does not intoxicate it. Zazen does not misuse of sexual energy. That's the way Zazen is. Zazen has all the stuff going for him. And then we need to be careful to enjoy these teachings about zazen.

[57:37]

That's part of zazen, is to enjoy these teachings. To practice zazen is to enjoy and put into practice the teachings. Any new people? Yes? What might make me... Exert all my effort. This is a very deceitful question. If I want to do something, I'll put that in scare quotes. What would make me want to exert all my effort to that thing? Or am I exerting my effort already? You are exerting all your effort. So what would make you practice in a way that you realize it? Did you say thank you? Did you say thank you? I didn't say thank you. What did you say? I was basically just, like, mumbling, like... So that's the other thing, is that... What would make me make this tremendous, wholehearted effort? Realize.

[58:38]

Realize a conversation. a face-to-face meeting. Partly in a pre-conceptual way, I'm having a conversation with the pivotal activity. So again, that takes us back to the ox. Me is the ox herder and the ox. The ox is this thing I'm having this conversation with. The ox is what's helping me be a totally wholehearted ox herder. It's not like I'm going to work myself into total effort. I got it. It's going to be like the ox and me are going to be talking and in the conversation I'm going to become wholehearted.

[59:40]

The conversation, the communication... the reality of the precepts, the reality of zazen, the pivotal activity, is calling me. I am calling you. It's calling me. Zazen is calling, the whole, the true zazen is calling me. And I respond. And it calls me again. And then I call it. And it responds. It calls me and I respond by saying, where are you, Sanzen? Where are you? Where are you, wholehearted practice? Where are you, total exertion? This conversation is how it's going to happen. And sometimes we seem to hear the conversation saying, you're overdoing it. You're trying to get something. Oh, and then you talk. No, I'm not.

[60:42]

Yes, you are. Yes, you are. No, I'm not. Who's talking? I don't know. I don't know. We cannot do this alone. We do it face to face. Sometimes we can see the face, sometimes we can't. Sometimes we see a face, we're looking at it, and then we realize there's another face that we can't see that's really big, and it's talking to us too, and somehow we just feel uplifted into this total effort. And then we get a little, oh my gosh, thinking is not thinking, wow. Maybe there's some total effort here. Where did that come from? I don't know, but thank you very much.

[61:23]

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