This morning we gathered together here and sat silent and still. By practicing the ritual of being silent and still, we may enter into silence and stillness. Entering into silence and stillness and its unconstructed heart is what I'd like to talk about this morning and for the rest of my life.

[01:08]

During morning service we recited a meditation and the meditation starts out in this translation Now all Buddhas and all ancestors who uphold Buddha Dharma have made it the true path of enlightenment to sit upright practicing in the midst of self-fulfilling samadhi. The proposal here is that the true path of enlightenment is to be upright and to live and practice in the midst of the samadhi of the self.

[02:23]

to practice our life, whatever we're doing, in a one-pointed awareness of self. As we say often, to study the Buddha way is to study the Self. The true path of enlightenment is to study the Self. To be focused, to be concentrated on the study of the Self is the path of enlightenment. We also said this morning, in stillness mind and object merge in realization and go beyond enlightenment.

[04:02]

In stillness mind and object join and enter enlightenment together and leave enlightenment together. In stillness, mind and object come together, enter enlightenment and leave enlightenment and enter enlightenment and leave enlightenment. Enter enlightenment without attaching to it. Leave enlightenment without attaching to it and re-enter in stillness and silence. This samadhi of the self, this samadhi of the self is to perform every action for the welfare of all beings.

[05:29]

To perform every action for the benefit of all beings is to study the self. When speaking or walking or serving whatever we're doing for the benefit of others is the way to study the self. In other words, if you're trying to help others It should be done while simultaneously studying yourself. If you try to help others, if you wish to help others, and you get distracted and dispersed away from studying yourself, this is not the way to help others, which the Buddhas teach.

[06:40]

The way to help others is to wish to help them, to vow to help them while studying the self. Many people try to help others. They make great effort to do so, and this is good. However, if they do not simultaneously watch their own mind and body, pay attention to their own karmic consciousness, that lack of focus on the self will undermine the benefit which they wish to realize. This samadhi of the self in which we can practice in silence and stillness is also the place of deep faith in cause and effect.

[08:01]

The samadhi of the self is to study cause and effect. especially karmic cause and effect. Studying the self could also be said studying our karmic consciousness, which is all we have. The true path of enlightenment is to study the self, is to study karmic consciousness. The true path of enlightenment is to sit upright, practicing in the midst of focused attention on vanity,

[09:10]

There is vanity in the karmic consciousness of sentient beings. There is narcissism in the karmic consciousness of sentient beings. Being focused on it is the true path of enlightenment. In silence and stillness, mind and object in the common consciousness join and enter realization and go beyond it. When Practicing the true path of enlightenment, all actions are for the sake of all beings, all sentient beings, all Buddhas.

[10:37]

All of our actions of sitting, walking, eating, following our breathing, counting our breathing, taking care of our posture, All of our actions are for the benefit of all beings. Sitting in this room, following your breathing, taking care of your posture, sitting upright, sitting upright, sitting upright, moment by moment, aware of your body and mind, good, and all of this, each moment, for the welfare of all beings. All of this, moment by moment, is a gift, is an offering to the Buddhas and bodhisattvas. All of this is a gift to all sentient beings.

[11:40]

Moment by moment, enjoy your breathing. wonderful exhale, marvelous, precious breath. Inhale. How fortunate we are to be able to breathe in an upright posture. We are so fortunate to be able to breathe in silence and stillness. What a joy. And to breathe on the path of the Buddhas is to breathe for the welfare of all beings. How wonderful to breathe and how even more wonderful to be aware that you're breathing.

[12:44]

To not be distracted from this vitality and make this a gift. It's so wonderful, all the more wonderful to let go of and give it away. Then it becomes the samadhi of the self. If I hold on to the precious breath that's flowing in this body, that interferes with the path of the practice of the samadhi of the self. In studying the self, we are also studying dependent core rising.

[14:31]

We study the self, we study the dependent core rising of the self. We study the dependent core rising of karmic consciousness. Karmic consciousness is presenting itself to our awareness moment by moment. Karmic consciousness is given to us to take care of, to love, to be mindful of. And it's also ready to show you, to show us its dependent core arising.

[15:36]

it's ready to show the Buddha's teaching. It's not disguising itself. Only our inattention disguises it. But it's hard to pay attention to it because Karmic consciousness also, while it presents itself to us, it says, look away from here. Look someplace else. So the very thing which we need to study on the true path says to us, don't study me, study them. Like, hey granddaddy, look over there. When karmic consciousness is telling you, don't look at me, look at the world, look at those people.

[16:50]

You hear him, but you keep your eye on him. Maybe you pretend to look away just for fun, but really you keep your eye on the one who tells you to look someplace else from here. So watching ourself is difficult because ourself says, don't watch me. You don't have time to watch me. You've got to get some work done here. You've got some people to straighten out. You've got some people who are not acting properly that, you know, that are, you know, you have to pay attention to them. You don't have time. The luxury of turning around and studying your own mind, your own story, no, no. You can't. And when you get that message, you just stay focused on that message.

[17:57]

Don't go where the message is telling you. Listen to the story that you shouldn't be paying attention to this story. And the message to not pay attention here, which the self presents, is exactly revealing itself for what it is. an illusion. But this illusion, which is, don't look at me, there's more important things than me to look at, I'm fine. But I want to tell you more about myself because I don't want to distract you from what you should be doing. Just go away from here. This delusion is the dance partner of enlightenment. Enlightenment stays with this karmic consciousness which says, let's get something done here. Let's go someplace.

[18:59]

Let's get something. That's the close friend, the close bosom friend of enlightenment. Enlightenment isn't fooled by karmic consciousness. It studies it. It isn't fooled by the self-delusion. It loves it always. This work in silence and stillness is the true path of enlightenment. according to some people. But even the people who highly recommend it often say that they still have a hard time remembering it. Still, even though I have a hard time remembering it, I still recommend it.

[20:04]

I recommend something I'm having a hard time doing, and every time I recommend it, it reminds me to do it. So I keep recommending it. Thank you for letting me remind myself to practice the samadhi of the self. I'll try to continue This is the supreme practice of the Buddhas I just mentioned to you today. And some of you may feel like, I just started practicing Zen. I'm just trying to sit still and follow my breathing. Give me a break. And if you want a break, I would totally support you to take a break from whatever you want to take a break from.

[21:10]

Take a rest. I just wanted to mention to you the supreme path to complete enlightenment, which can be practiced while you're sitting still in this zendo. All you got to do is just study yourself while you're doing whatever you're doing. And when that's completely wholehearted, that study of the self is completely wholehearted, body and mind drop away. and mind and object enter realization and go beyond it. That actually will be happening here today in this room. In silence and stillness in this room today, in the silence and stillness in this room today, mind and body will be joining, entering realization, and going beyond it.

[22:14]

That will be going on here. You're welcome to join. Did you have a question, young lady? Thank you for calling me a lady. Well, compared to me, you're young. And compared to me, you're a lady. Thank you. So when you're studying the self... When you're studying the self, yeah. There's often... When you're studying the self... When you're studying the self, there's often the other involved. Always. There's always an other when there's a self. So what role does the other play? What role does the other play?

[23:15]

The other is the benefactor of your study of yourself. You study yourself for the benefit of us, others. I hope you're studying yourself to help us So I don't study myself just to help myself, although it does. I study myself because it helps others. That's the real way of studying the self, is not to study the self to improve myself or to get something for myself, but to study myself for the benefit of others. And when I'm trying to benefit others, if I really want to help them, don't forget to keep track of this karmic consciousness here. Is it selfish not to be thinking about benefiting others when you're learning about who you are?

[24:24]

Is it selfish to what? I mean, when I'm studying what's coming up for me, I'm not always thinking, am I benefiting others at the same moment? Well, it's kind of like there's a house on fire and you're going into the house to help these people in the house. And when you go into the house, you start paying attention to where you put your feet so that you'll be able to get to them. And when you find them, you pay attention to how you embrace them and how you carry them out of the building. So you're watching yourself so that you can help them. If you don't pay attention to yourself, you may fall down and just burn up in the house with them. When you go into the burning house, you notice, oh, I'm afraid, I'm sweating, I'm trembling. If I take care of my own fear, I can go in there and help them. The reason I'm going in there, the reason why I'm in this mess, is I choose to be here to help beings.

[25:31]

But now I have to pay attention to myself in order to do so. You have to be mindful of your own karmic consciousness first. But you need to, before you start paying attention to yourself, do it for the welfare of others. They're very closely related. And the other way around is, if we're not paying attention to our karmic consciousness, we really get distracted from helping others. Because karmic consciousness is just saying, be distracted, don't look here. Go here, go there. We have to take care of that monkey. Please come. I could put it like this, maybe.

[26:32]

Can I have that, please? Thank you very much. Is that working? I'm not clear at all as to what the object is when you talk about mind and object. Is that body? Does it mean something else? Is it concrete? Well, particularly I recommend that the object be your karmic consciousness, the story about what's going on here, which includes perhaps, if you're in this room, it could be the story that you have a body, and that you're holding it upright and still. So, like in the nzendo, right, you're sitting in this object called the posture, and you're paying attention to the posture, it's breathing.

[27:38]

So your story about your posture is not your posture, it's your story about your posture, based on your posture. So you're kind of aware of your posture, plus you have a story about your posture, You're thinking about your posture, like you think, this is pretty straight. I'm sitting upright. So that's your object, is that story about your posture. And I also sense and have a story that I'm breathing out. So I'm studying, you could say studying body-mind, but actually you're also studying your story about your body and mind. That's the object. And when you're silent and still with the story about your body and mind at the moment, body and mind as objects, merge with the awareness of them, and enter realization. Totally nifty. Cool. Yeah, but you have to, you know, really give yourself completely, which is what we're training at.

[28:47]

Was that clear, by the way? But I have another question related to that. Often when I'm sitting still, I have many, many stories going on. Yeah. Are they part of the object? Right. When you see a story, you say many stories, but it's story, [...] right? So the story, when you're aware of it, the story is the object of your awareness. When you're not aware of it, It's there, but you're not aware, you're not mindful of it. And then things change, you have a new story. Things change, you have a new story. It's related to the past story, you know, and you're watching the arising of these stories, the arising of these intentions, these motivations are coming and going. You're hopefully silent and still with that. In the silence and stillness with that, the revelation of these delusions, of this self-illusion is possible.

[29:58]

So the other stories are also the object? Other stories? Well, many stories that I have about my life that are coming and going. Hopefully all the stories will become objects of your awareness of your, actually, you'll be consciously aware of your ongoing karmic consciousness. The more faith you have in the teaching that it's important to pay attention to our karma, which is karma of mind and body and speech, the more you attend to that, the more you're joining the practice of the Buddhas. The Buddhas are constantly attending and clarifying karmic consciousness. We do it sometimes. The more we can do it, the more we're aligned. Each moment we do it, we're aligning ourself with the work of the Buddhas. The work of the Buddhas is to study the stories that arise in sentient beings.

[31:03]

Buddhists study the stories arising in sentient beings. When we study our own stories, we can then study other people's stories. This is the work of the Buddhas, clarifying karmic causation. Does it follow then that if I practice while I'm sitting still in zazen to become aware of my karmic consciousness, so when I'm out in the world and putting cans of tomatoes on the shelf, becoming aware in that activity? That's what we want. We want this practice in this hall to pervade throughout the universe. So another important part of this practice is that in the whole we are conscious that the practice here fills the whole universe and the whole universe fills this practice.

[32:09]

Just like this samadhi, this self receiving and employing samadhi, the samadhi of the self has the quality like other Mahayana samadhis that all the other samadhis, like the Jilmir samadhi, for example, all the samadhis come here, enter here, and this samadhi fills all other samadhis. So the study of the self should fill all the other samadhis, the kitchen samadhi, the driving samadhi, wherever we are, we're putting a can on the shelf, a can of tomatoes on the shelf, we're doing that for the welfare of all beings. We're taking a can off the shelf for the welfare of all beings. We're dropping a can on our toe accidentally for the welfare of all beings.

[33:12]

We feel the pain in our foot and we have a response to that for the welfare of all beings. then this samadhi is pervading that activity. And that activity pervades all other samadhis. But we have a strong habit, karmic consciousness has a strong habit of sending us away from our great aspiration, saying, do this, do that, go away from here, forget about Forget about yourself before you've studied it, rather than forget about it because you're studying it. If you study yourself completely, you will no longer be troubled by yourself. If you study karmic consciousness, karmic consciousness is the main problem in human life. we study it thoroughly, it stops being a problem and turns into a wondrous, a wondrous, inconceivable joy.

[34:23]

But we have to pay attention to it in this hall and in the kitchen hall and on the street and in our room. That's what we're here to train for, to get more and more consistent at being focused on ourself. More and more consistent in being focused on this karmic consciousness, this delusion is for the welfare of all beings. It's a delusion, but I offer it for the welfare of all beings. The delusion that I'm sitting on this seat separate from your seats, that delusion. I pay attention to it, to the welfare of all beings, and I make it a gift to all beings. And I hope I can remember to do it outside this room. And I hope I can remember to practice it inside this room.

[35:30]

And if I can't, if I can't, in other words, if I have a story that I can't, I want to take care of that one too. Thank you very much. You're welcome. Would you like this hot sweaty? I'd like a hot sweaty, yeah. I'll put it here. I'll let it cool. I'm going to let it cool. Hot sweaty, cool. Thank you very much. It seems like when we say for the welfare of all beings.

[36:43]

Could you hear that? If our true nature is such that we are not separate from all beings. Yes. Well, when I used to hear for the welfare of all beings, I would think all those beings out there. But if we're not separate from all beings, then saying for the nature of all beings is like saying, it's like a statement of emptiness. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's another way of saying I'm insubstantially here. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Right. And we can substantiate that, what you just said. But, in other words, we can substantiate living for the welfare of all beings.

[37:46]

We can substantiate that and attach to that. Even that we can attach to. However, we need that in order to stop attaching to that. if we keep doing things for the welfare of all beings, we will eventually stop substantiating them, us, and the devotion. So others are out there, but they're not out there on their own. They're out there depending on us. And we're in here, but we're not in here separate from them. We're in here because they're out there. So the more we meditate on it, the closer we get, the deeper we get into the realization of the vitality of our relationships. And because they're insubstantial, because they're ungraspable, they're totally alive. But we have to be careful not to substantiate the instructions too.

[38:49]

I think that's all. I just want to say while you're here that I don't want to, what do you call it, steal the Shusso's thunder, but the samadhi of the self, the study of karmic causation, is related to what she's going to be talking about. And in her discussion of zazen she's going to talk about thinking of not thinking. How do you think of not thinking? Unless my talk changes before I give it. Unless your talk changes before she gives it. But that instruction is another way, another approach.

[39:52]

This samadhi, this true path, is a boundless jewel. There's unlimited ways of looking at it. Deep faith in cause and effect, studying karmic consciousness, thinking of not thinking, non-thinking, jewel mirror samadhi, helping all beings, studying delusion, being filled by the whole universe, filling the whole universe. These are all different ways to try to describe the stillness in which you and I join, enter enlightenment, and go beyond it. Mind and object, self and other, out there and in here, in here and out there, and enter and go beyond, out in here and out there, merge in enlightenment and go beyond it.

[40:55]

Infinite ways to talk about this. So we'll see which way you do, which ways you do. Welcome. Is your name Frederick? Yes. Frederick, we've been waiting for you. So I just want to clarify your teaching for myself. Would you say that when I feel that I'm living my life from inside my body, is that just a story? Yeah. Or does it have some reality? Stories have some reality. Okay, so what would the reality part be? The reality part? Yeah. Is that the story depends on various causes and conditions that come together to create it.

[41:59]

It's not coming from nowhere. There's no reality to your being a separate, substantial being from all of creation. There's no reality to that. But your story about being inside yourself, there's reasons for that. Some reality to it. Yeah. So that is a story, and the true path of enlightenment is for you to clarify that story by kindly observing it when it comes. Yeah. Because from time to time I get this feeling that it is a story instead of being concrete. Like it feels kind of concrete now. You said it is a story instead of being concrete. In other words, it's insubstantial instead of being concrete. Yeah. Yeah. And sometimes you get a glimpse that maybe it's... Well, I've been sitting here during satsang and it happens. During satsang here, it happens like...

[43:01]

Not just that, you know, my pain feels like a story, but that my whole body kind of feels like a story. Yeah, your pain, your whole body. Yeah. So your pain isn't a story and your body isn't a story, but you have the story of your pain and you have the story of your body. That's what you know. Yeah. You don't have direct, at this point, you relate to your body and your pain through a story of them. And so are you saying that in Zazen sometimes you have a glimpse that the story of your body is insubstantial? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So the more you study the story of your body, the story of your life, the more chance you have to see that it's insubstantial. Yeah, but when the bell rings and I walk out. Pardon? When the bell rings. Yes. And I walk up. Yeah. Do you say, do you walk up? Walk out of the sendo, and it's back to feeling concrete again.

[44:04]

Yeah, right. So how, is there a trick? Is there a trick? Yeah, the trick is continue to study the stories. Yeah. So if you, when you notice, like you did notice, you notice, oh, it became substantial again. It became concrete again. So if you notice that, then study it then. Okay. And then maybe outside this end, it's possible to also have these moments of glimpsing or being released from the belief that our stories are substantial, that our body is substantial, that our relationships are substantial. It's possible inside and outside to have those releases from this delusion. Yeah. Just like in the midst of the dance, you get released from the illusion that you're separate from your partner.

[45:08]

And then a moment later you feel, oh, we're separate again. That's normal. So we need to be kind to the glimpses, let them go, and we need to be kind to the return of concrete delusion. Even, you know, welcome it. Okay. Thank you. You're welcome. I always remembered this article that I read in the Wind Bell. Can you hear her? A little louder.

[46:10]

I'm thinking of this, the title of this article I read by Blanche Hartman in the Wind Bell some years ago called, she said, everybody else can see who you are, you may as well see yourself. So I'm thinking like, well, because what you've been talking about really hits home. My habitual... Can you hear her? Oh, sorry. If you hold it like this. Oh, okay. What you've been talking about... Hits home? Hits home, yeah. Good. My habit of seeing everybody else and going away from myself. Yeah. But I'm wondering... how, you know, what skillful means to help each other see ourselves since it seems easier to see other people. Well, one skillful means is to tell your friends that you invite them to occasionally ask you, are you studying yourself, Delfina?

[47:13]

You can do that with some of your friends when you come to. Are you studying yourself? You can say, oh, Thank you. So actually, you know, we kind of do that in the Sangha. We kind of say to each other, are you studying yourself now? Or how's your self-study going? Just like that, yeah. Yeah, or one Zen master got up in the morning and he looked at himself in the mirror and he said, well, I'll change it for you. He said, Delfina? And then he would say, yes. Are you awake? Yes. All day long, don't let anyone distract you from studying yourself. I won't. That's called the master koan.

[48:16]

So just look in the mirror in the morning and say, Daphne, are you awake? Are you studying yourself? Yes. One, two, three. I am. Keep it up all day. I will. I mean, I vow to. I might not, but I vow to. And then at the end of the day, or even during the day, then later in the day you can say, well, how have you been doing? I forgot a lot of times. So when you're doing this kind of practice, it is sometimes recommended three times during the day and three times at night, kneel on the ground, join your palms, and confess if you have forgotten to do the practice you wish to do. I forgot to take the can of tomatoes off the shelf for the welfare of all beings.

[49:22]

I forgot. I wasn't studying myself when I reached up there. Three times a day, stop and see how you're doing. Three times at night. It doesn't have to be in the middle of the night. It could be like at 8, 8, and at 9. And then maybe you could count when you first get up in the morning as to what kind of night. So during the day, stop and check on yourself. How's my self-study going? Yeah, not too good, I'm sorry. Sometimes you might say, well, not too bad. including that I'm aware that I said not too bad. Yeah, it's going pretty well. So maybe sometimes there's not much to confess and repent in terms of forgetting what you're intending your life to be. But it's good to check several times during the day. How's it going? Like now I'm talking to you. Am I aware of myself while I'm talking to you?

[50:23]

I am talking to you. I am aware of you. And I'm also aware of me and my story about you and what's going on here. We can join these worlds by mindfulness. Of course, we can forget. But then we can have a practice of checking throughout the day and inviting our friends to check. So you can assign some of your friends the privilege of assisting you in being aware of yourself, of checking with you on your vows, on your bodhisattva vows. Dauphine, did you do that for my welfare? Was that your intention there? And you might say, yeah. You say, OK, just checking. Or, no, I forgot. Thank you. Or, I'm really sorry. I didn't want that to be for your welfare.

[51:24]

I'm really sorry. Thank you. You're welcome.

[51:33]

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