This series of Dharma meetings was titled something like having to do with the Blue Cliff Record, like exploring it and realizing it or something like that. What? Studying the Blue Cliff Record. And there's like maybe six classes, perhaps something like that. Is that right? It seems that it's very important to set the stage for this study. As you may have heard before, the teachings of the Buddhas, the Buddha Dharma, has been said to be primarily addressed to living beings, and in particular to the suffering of living beings.

[01:24]

I just realized, I just recognized you, Gideon. I met him when he was a little baby. I met him in Santa Fe when he was about two or something. How old are you now? Thirty-seven. Welcome back. So that's a basic contextual comment that the teachings of the Buddhas are addressed to the suffering of sentient beings. And Zen centers like this one propose to support the practice of the great vehicle, the practice of those who wish to learn this teaching of the Buddhas and become

[02:54]

enlightened in order to help other people learn it, in order to help other people be benefited and liberated. And part of what often is said is that although these bodhisattvas are aware of and listen to the suffering of many beings, and are devoted to not abandon suffering beings. They actually want to be with suffering beings and listen to them and help them and care for them. They are also cheerful about it. They are not intending to be depressed about helping living beings. Although there is a danger that bodhisattvas will become depressed. as they open to the suffering of all beings, including opening to their own emotional pain.

[04:05]

It's also possible bodhisattvas will become attached to the beings that they're caring for. But their intention is not to be attached to the beings they're serving and not to get depressed about the suffering of the beings they are serving, but to be cheerful and really enthusiastic about this great job of helping beings. In The Great Vehicle, one way to talk about it is that The Great Vehicle is an offering to sentient beings, to living beings. It's an offering of images to the imagination of living beings.

[05:11]

with the understanding, receiving the teaching from the Buddhas that living beings suffer primarily because of their imagination. Living beings have imaginations which create kind of a prison of images. For example, there's a world where they seem to be separate from other beings. And they tend to believe this image and suffer because they believe the image that they're separate from other beings. And they suffer partly because they're afraid of the beings they feel separate from. They get concerned about the separation and and stressed by it. So the teaching of the great vehicle is expressed in a way to stimulate living beings to create images which will help them encounter their imagination in a way to liberate them from their imagination.

[06:38]

The teaching isn't really images but when the teaching when the teaching of the buddhas touches living beings they convert this teaching into what into into the what do you call it the coin of the realm of sentient beings the coin of the realm of sentient beings is the realm of imagination so they convert the dharma into imagination but this can this dharma that they're working with now is primarily intended to liberate them from their imagination. It stimulates beings to work with their imagination in such a way that the imagination liberates the imagination. With the Buddha's guidance, our imagination can liberate itself. Not by itself, but by the Buddha's guidance. The Buddha stimulates us to imagine in different ways than our imagination could think up without this

[07:41]

without this communication from those who had become free of their imagination. Another way to say it is living beings are imprisoned by stories. And Buddha's seeing them and hearing their cries teach Dharma, and when they teach Dharma, the Dharma is converted into the coin of the realm of sentient beings. In other words, the Dharma is converted into stories. So, in the Zen tradition particularly, we have these stories that we use to meditate on in such a way as to become free of those stories.

[08:45]

and then to extend that way of working with these stories to all of our stories, not just the stories that are used in the formal training, but to extend them to the stories of daily life. Now, tonight, tonight, as usual, is a historic night. Or you could say her-storic night. Tonight is a story in the minds of men and women. Here's a story. Here's a story. And again, it's a historical or historical story.

[09:47]

In this room, for 10 or maybe 14 years, we gathered together here and studied a collection of 100 stories. And that collection is called the Book of Serenity. So I don't know if 10 or 14 years we studied it. That's a story. And I hope that story encourages us to study our stories. Now, oh, by the way, here's another story, is that before we started gathering here to study those stories, we gathered in San Francisco to study those stories. And we started at the beginning of this book, which has 100 stories. And we would study the first few stories.

[10:52]

And then the first session of classes, six or seven classes, would end. And then we'd have another session to study the same collection. But I noticed that the people who came to the second session were often not the people who were in the first session. Except for me. I wasn't the same person either. I just noticed that. So then I thought, well, let's start over again. So I kept starting over because there was no continuity. And then finally, after several years of that, I said to myself and I said to the people gathering, I said, from now on, even if none of you come back, if I come back, we're just going to keep going straight through it. And I will keep going through it until we get to the 100th case.

[11:53]

And some people hung in there for 40 cases, 50 cases, 60 cases. Some people did 30 cases and took several years off and came back for 30 more and took some years off and came back for 10 more. A lot of different patterns. But I just kept... marching forward through the text, and we reached the end, finally here, and had a party with a cake. And the cake was probably decorated with a story. I don't remember. Does anybody remember what the cake looked like? Did it have a picture of Bodhidharma on it or something? It had dragons on it. Hmm? It had what? Dragons. It had dragons on it. Whoa. So now we're starting this again, and I haven't yet said I am going to continue until we finish, but I'm considering it. Now, if we do keep going, I also have this story that I am quite a bit older than I was when we started the Book of Serenity.

[13:06]

So if we start now, I will be like in my 80s when we finish. Isn't that amazing? And so if someone will bring me in here and put me someplace in the room and then the people can watch me see if I can remember what the class is. It's the Blue Cliff Record. Oh, that sounds good. This is a historical event. We're starting to study the Blue Cliff record tonight. Let's see what happens. So I want to tell you some things about the way we usually have been practicing with these stories. One thing is that I'm willing for you to ask me questions as soon as I walk in the door.

[14:11]

It's fine with me. It really is. But if that happens, many people have said, would you please talk a little while before people start asking questions because I get very confused if the questions start right away. So you're welcome to, you're really welcome to express yourself, ask questions, make statements, sing songs, dance, you know, all your expressions are really welcomed by me. But for the sake of some other people who want to sort of have some sense of the context of what we're doing, maybe wait for a while until the class gets going a little bit. like 20 minutes or half an hour or something like that. Also, if you're going to be in the class, if you're going to be a regular member, tonight you're just coming to see what's going on. If you want to keep coming to the class, then say so.

[15:14]

And then if you're not going to come because you're sick or whatever, tired, would you please convey it, tell me by sending me a note or tell Timo or Anna that you're going to miss so I'm not wondering what's going on with you so I know that, you know, so we have a sense of that we're doing this together because that's what this is about is to study these stories together. That's a story. Another point I'd like to say, which it's kind of a turning of what I just said. In the introduction to case 18 of the Book of Serenity, and case 18 of the Book of Serenity is about the question that a monk asks

[16:20]

the great teacher Zhaozhou. The question is, does a doggy have Buddha nature? You've heard that, right? And in that case 18, there's two parts. The first part is, the monk says, does dog have Buddha nature? And Zhaozhou says, mu, or no. or doesn't have. And then the monk asks again, or another monk asks, does the dog have Buddha nature? And Zhaozhou says, yo, or yes. And then there's a follow-up in both cases about, well, how come blah, blah. But I'm not going to talk about that right now. I'm just going to tell you the introduction. The introduction to this is something like this. A gourd is floating in the water. Push it down and it turns.

[17:24]

A jewel in the sunlight has no definite shape. Even greatly cultivated beings are still turned around, spun around in the stream of words. Can anyone escape? Living beings live in the stream of words. They live in karmic consciousness. And karmic consciousness is words and phrases. And they're being spun around by these words and phrases. Even a greatly cultivated bodhisattva is still spinning around. It isn't like they're holding still, you know, and they're immune to the turning of words, which is their mind.

[18:35]

They also are spinning around. You push on them and they bounce around. You look at them in the light and you can't see what their shape is. And they can't see... But even though they're getting spun around, they're trained at spinning. They're trained at watching how words turn them. And they can stay present and upright even though they're being spun around. So that's part of what this study is about, is to learn how to stay present as you're getting flipped around by your karmic consciousness in the stream of words. If you can stay upright or be upright as you're getting spun around, you can become liberated from the spinning. If you resist the spinning, you're going to get spun. If you hold on to the spinning, you'll get spun. But if you learn how to be upright, you can turn with it like a ballerina and not get dizzy and see.

[19:40]

the liberation in the karmic consciousness. Without eliminating it, there is freedom in it, but we have to learn how to be present with the language, with the story. The abbess, Linda Ruth, was thinking about maybe offering a continuation of her studies of the mountains and rivers scripture for this practice period. But she thought maybe that it may be too much for the new people coming to the practice period. So she wanted to offer something more basic about the Bodhisattva precepts. Is that what her class is about, the Bodhisattva precepts? And I supported her to do that, and I'm happy that she's offering that because that class, we should be practicing what's being taught in that class in order to be able to study the stories of our mind and the stories of the Blue Cliff record.

[20:57]

by practicing the Bodhisattva precepts, you have a chance to now stay upright with the spinning, including the stories you have of the precepts. But we do need to be grounded in Bodhisattva precepts in order to be able to study these stories in a liberating way. So it's very nice to have the two classes together And if some of you aren't in the precept class, please understand, which I think many of you do, and many of you already have been initiated into the Bodhisattva precepts, that that practice is the basis of this wisdom study of these stories. So in the blue cliff, oh, and one other thing I wanted to say to you, which I'm not sure exactly what to do about it, but I heard from a wonderful practitioner named Nyogen Senzaki, who came to America and lived in San Francisco, California, I believe.

[22:35]

Correct me if I'm wrong. and then when the second world war started he got put into a camp with other japanese americans and while he was in the camps he continued to practice bodhisattva precepts he continued to be cheerful in those camps and to help his fellow sentient beings, and to do Buddha's enlightenment ceremonies, Buddha's birthday ceremonies, and Zazen ceremonies in the camp, cheerfully. Maybe he complained, but I didn't hear him complain. He seemed to just continue the practice he did before there. And when he got out, he continued the practice, but he moved to Los Angeles. And I believe, correct me if you've got a different story, I believe he washed dishes for a living.

[23:37]

He washed dishes and taught Zen. And he said about the Blue Cliff record, and we often think this way, that there's these stories, and these stories, these hundred stories were collected by a Chinese Zen teacher named Sui Du, or Sui Do, which is it? Sui Do. A wonderful poet collected these Zen stories and wrote poems. Often we think of, we have the story and then we have the poem about the story. But he suggests, rather than say it's the blue cliff collection of stories and poems, he suggests to think of it as the blue cliff collection of poems and their background stories.

[24:41]

This is a very nice spin turning. Because, well not because, the stories are oftentimes not seen as poetry. And the poetry is oftentimes not seen as a story. But really, it's wonderful that he made this collection, and the collection is a wonderful collection, but his real, not his real, but he made this amazing contribution of these beautiful poems, which we don't necessarily understand how beautiful they are because we don't know so much about Chinese. Even if we study Chinese, to realize the beauty of them is hard for us. But even in English translation, we have a chance. And I'm not sure... I'm not quite sure yet. If I want to start with the poem, I think probably we should do that sometime, start with the poem and then look at the story behind the poem rather than the other way around.

[25:51]

So the history of the text is this teacher collected these poems, these stories, and wrote poems on them And then that was the collection of his poems and their background stories. And then another teacher, another noted teacher, who was the teacher of another noted teacher, the other teacher, his name is... It wasn't a... What was it? It was... His name is... Is it... Engo? Is that his name? Engo? Which I think means round or complete enlightenment. He is the teacher of this other famous, very important master named Dahweh, who is the teacher who set up the koan system in the Rinzai school.

[27:07]

So this Engle wrote introductions to the cases and wrote commentary on the cases, and then he wrote commentary on the poems. So the Blue Cliff Record is the collection of stories and their poems by Sway Du, and then the introduction and the commentary on the case by Engle and the commentary on the poem by Engle. And also Engle made an interlinear comments on each line of the story. So you say one sentence of the story and then you make a comment, another sentence of the story and you make a comment. So you can read the story and you can also go back and read the story with Engle's comments after each line. The same with the poem.

[28:09]

You write a line in the poem and then write a comment on the line. Quote the poem and comment on the line and so on. Sometimes you can read it without looking at the interlinear comments and you can read it with the interlinear comments. You can try both ways. So the text has these layers, which I don't know if you understood them, but it has these layers, historical layers, and then linear layers. And as you've heard in some of the chants you do in morning service, you've heard two things. One is, just to depict it in literary form is to relegate it to defilement. So the Dharma has been depicted in literary form in these stories and these poems and these comments.

[29:17]

The Dharma has been depicted in literary form. Now, it says just to do that is to relegate it to defilement. That's one way to understand it. And the other way to understand it is, if you don't just do that, then you don't exactly relegate it to defilement. You sort of just dip it in defilement for a little while, and then you can pull out again. But again, the coin of the realm of sentient beings is the realm of defilement, is the realm of linguistic consciousness. So this dharma allows itself to be put into the realm of linguistic defilement so sentient beings can relate to it. But remember that we're dealing with a confined, enclosed, stained version of something that is not linguistic the Dharma is not linguistic but we are so the Dharma says okay make me linguistic fine and now please be kind to me and spin with me and be liberated with me the Dharma is liberated

[30:34]

And it is allowing itself to be confined so that we can be liberated with it. And we have to be intimate with the confinement of language in order to experience that which is willing to be confined, which is not confined. So that's one teaching to remember. We're studying the Dharma, which is for the sake of living beings, so therefore the Dharma allows itself to be bent into our world. It's not, this is not the Dharma that we're looking at. It's our version of it. But still, the message gets through, be kind to your version of it, and remember your version of it is not it. But it allows itself to be made into whatever you want it to be made into and whatever you need to be made into. And still the message gets through. And another message which you chant regularly is the meaning is not in the words.

[31:42]

The meaning is not in the words of the poetry. The meaning is not in the words of the story. The meaning is not in the words of the commentary. but the meaning responds to the inquiring impulse. The actual Chinese character is that the meaning responds, like here's the meaning, and if you send this thing, if you say hello to the meaning, with your energy. If you bring your energy to the word, you can bring your energy to the word, the meaning responds to your energy. And it's translated as inquiring energy, But actually, just the character actually is just energy, like in my name, the key of my name. It's just energy. It's the arrival of energy. You and I have energy. And if we bring our energy to these words, we can see the words.

[32:50]

The words are a defiled version of the Dharma. We bring our energy to it, and there's a response there where the meaning arises. And now the first question has arisen, and I think I've talked long enough to welcome some questions. Please come up here. Please come up here. That's another thing. I invite you to come up here for a couple of reasons. One is so everybody can see you. And also, yeah, right here. And also so that I can hear you. All the better to hear you. Do you have that story in England? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Was that an English story originally? I don't think so. It's German, isn't it? Probably German. Do you have that story in Germany? All the better to hear you. All the better to hear you. Your ears are so big. My ears are little, so please come up.

[33:51]

Welcome. Thank you. You look like a movie star. You told me that one of the first times I met you, like Claire Dane. You still do. But Janine Lentine in the city, she now thinks I look like Liv Ullman. So I've matured. Welcome. Thank you. Did something you want to express? Well, I wonder if language is not actually the problem. I wonder if it's that we dip language in defilement, and if language does not inherently actually contain the energy that you're speaking of, but we have a reductive relationship with language. I have a response.

[34:56]

Do you want to hear it? I would suggest a reductive relationship with language. And the reductive relationship I would suggest is to practice the Bodhisattva precepts with it. So I think a reductive relationship is okay. Dogen says, discriminating consciousness is words and phrases. Actually, the consciousness that relates to language is words and phrases. Words and phrases relate to discriminating consciousness. Discriminating consciousness is words and phrases. And that the words and phrases liberate discriminating consciousness. So our discriminating consciousness is words and phrases and working with words and phrases in perhaps a reductive way liberates the discriminating consciousness.

[35:59]

It isn't just that we liberate words and we're all great poets. we also liberate consciousness, but in the same process. So it's not so much that words are the problem, but discriminating consciousness is the problem. But discriminating consciousness is words and phrases. And all of our problems exist in that realm. There's no other realm that exists. And there's no outside of that realm because outside that realm is just another cognitive enclosure. There's no outside or inside except that those are ways to talk about it. Right. So the thing is, to practice the Bodhisattva precepts, which is a kind of reduction of the possible ways... of relating to these words and phrases. And if we relate to these words and phrases that way, these words and phrases will be the exact things that will liberate us.

[37:03]

So they aren't really the problem, except in the sense that... That we think we know what they mean. In that we grasp them. So we need to use words and phrases to find a non-grasping way to relate to the words which we tend to grasp. And then we have a non-grasping way to... discriminating consciousness, which is the liberation of discriminating consciousness. Okay. I lost you a little bit on the last part. You lost me or I lost you? Either way. We lost each other? Yeah. But I'm okay with that. I am too. Okay, thanks. So that's the story. We lost each other. Once upon a time we met and then we lost each other and we were okay. And we decided to practice together forever. Being lost together.

[38:07]

We should be lost together. That's the fundamental thing. To be lost together with all beings. Then we will be free of lost and found. So, the first case does not have to be discussed literally, but it is written down on a piece of paper inside this lovely package. the first case or the first poem is written down in the Blue Cliff Record inside this book. And again, it's kind of auspicious that the first case, for those of you in the practice period, is probably the case that will be brought up in a ceremony at the end of the practice period if

[39:16]

Albert accepts the job, if she's so, and comes to the survey. So if he makes it to the end of the practice period as your perfect student, then he might bring up the first case in this book. Isn't that auspicious? And by that time, you will have become totally liberated with this story and be able to interact with him in a liberated way about the story and it will be quite an affair. Can you imagine what it will be like when all of you are liberated with this story and then you demonstrate it at the end of the practice period together? Some of you may be so liberated you won't even talk about the story and he won't either. So, any other questions? Please come, Austin. I've told Austin before, he looks like this baseball player named Barry Zito.

[40:29]

Who did, the last I heard, he was doing this historic performance. But you're like celebrity one. I didn't thank you for pointing that out. Claire Danes, Liv Ullman, and now Barry Zito. Hail Barry Zito. Wow. Welcome. Thank you. I was wondering what being cheerful has to do with saving all beings. Well, you're wondering, yeah, so I'm wondering too. So I have not heard that bodhisattvas are depressed in their work of saving beings. I think they want to show...

[41:33]

that you can be completely joyful living in hell for the sake of beings. They want to show that they can really be happy. But they're not necessarily happy like, you know, I don't know what. They have like a mild smile-ish. A mild smile. You know, it's like a smile that you might see in someone who is really serene and concentrated. But they speak cheerfully and they smile when they give the teaching. They show not that suffering is fun, but being generous and patient and ethical and concentrated in the midst of suffering is a great joy. It's a supreme joy to practice giving to sentient beings in suffering. And they give beings, they show beings their giving, but sometimes beings don't notice their giving, but they do sometimes easier to notice their smile.

[42:43]

And Suzuki Roshi's son, who some of you know, has visited here, his name is Hoitsu Suzuki Roshi, he particularly appreciates when people smile. Like he really appreciated that Catherine Thanos, who had just passed away, smiled. And he really appreciates Galen Godwin's smile. And he really appreciates the smile. So the smile is kind of like, it's really a joy to be here with you. And it's really a joy to be with all these suffering beings and to be devoted to them. And I'm not happy that you're suffering, but I am happy I can be here with you. and support you to find happiness in the midst of suffering. Because I am, I, Bodhisattva, am totally in the midst of suffering and I am really happy. Not because of the suffering, but that I can stand to be here and that I want to be here for a long time with other suffering beings.

[43:51]

I'm really happy to give myself to the practice And to show people, and people go, how can you be so happy here? Well, because I do these practices. And if you do them, you will be happy too. And it isn't that they smile just to show people that they're happy, but a little bit for that reason. Like, you know, how are you feeling? Well, it hurts. I'm... I have a headache. But sometimes I have a headache and I can't remember to smile. And I just can't remember the idea. You know, I just like mostly caught up with headache. But then sometimes I remember how hard it is to remember and then maybe a little smile comes. So being cheerful and encouraging beings to do the practice, smiling does seem to help. And again, although it doesn't say, I haven't heard... Well, actually, just this morning in the priest meeting, we did hear about bodhisattvas thinking about all the beings.

[45:00]

So bodhisattvas are living in suffering, right? That's where they live. They live among all suffering beings. They listen to all their suffering. But while they're listening to all the suffering, they also think... in innumerable lands throughout the universe, beings are attaining supreme enlightenment right now. Unlimited beings are attaining enlightenment right now in many places where they're surrounded by suffering beings. And they think that and they don't get depressed or despairing or downcast. But bodhisattvas have to think of how wonderful the practice is and how successful it is. They have to think of that sometimes so that they don't get depressed. And then when they think of that, they get really cheerful about the possibilities for everybody. And they really feel the pain. And they have practices that help them be able to stand the pain.

[46:06]

So, Bodhisattva's aren't exactly told to smile but it's mentioned to them that bodhisattvas do smile and then bodhisattvas think well maybe I should it's mentioned that when bodhisattvas teach they smile so then bodhisattvas think well maybe I but I haven't actually tried to smile tonight but have I I haven't actually tried to but when I start talking about the dharma do I start smiling but if I want sometimes when I'm not talking about the dharma I look pretty depressed or serious right But when I start talking about the Dharma, somehow it makes me smile a little bit. And also I talk silly and people laugh at me. Not all the time. So bodhisattvas hear that teaching that they smile when they teach. They hear the teaching that when bodhisattvas think about this stuff, they don't get depressed, downcast, and despairing.

[47:11]

So they don't exactly try to stop themselves from being downcast or despairing. They more like, oh, if I think this way, I will be able to be an uplifting spirit in this world of misery. many bodhisattvas I haven't heard of bodhisattvas saying there isn't enough depression we need more depression people are too manic we need the manic people to be more depressed I haven't heard that. They say, well, these people are manic, and I'm happy to be with them, and the depressed people, I'm happy to be with them, but they aren't trying to make more depression by them becoming depressed and adding their depression to it. They're trying to uplift beings, and not just to uplift their spirit to uplift it, but uplift it so that they'll practice, and not just be uplifted, but liberated, and then be able to uplift others. So does that speak to your question at all? Yeah, so if a bodhisattva finds himself in hell, is it better to, and you're just not being successful at being cheerful or smiling, should you try to turn it around and become cheerful, or should you leave?

[48:25]

Usually... You don't so often hear bodhisattvas leaving hell, but I haven't heard that one so much, but sometimes before a bodhisattva goes to hell, if they ask their teacher, their teacher may say, do you think once you get there and it gets tough, do you think you'll change your mind? Because it will get tough. And not only change your mind, but try to get out. That's called trying something that's too advanced. So before you go to hell, if you have a choice, do it. You should check with your teacher and see if your teacher feels like this is just about right for you. And then when you get there, remember, don't try to get out. Because that would nullify your gift, and that's not good to nullify your gift. So once they get there, they usually don't try to get out. It's not recommended to try to get out.

[49:28]

Same with, like, if you give a gift, It's good to think about, as I give it, will I actually be able to really follow through and let it be a gift, even though it gets difficult afterwards? Because to regret the gift after you give it is worse in a lot of ways than not giving it at all. It's better to say, okay, I'm sorry, I'm stingy, which at least you're giving the gift of honesty, rather than give something which is too advanced and then try to take it back. So the famous story of Nagarjuna... telling his great student, would you please go to northern India? There's a debate going on and the Buddha Sangha needs you to go and lead the debate. And on the way, you will be asked for a gift. And if you give it and don't regret, you'll get it back. But if you regret it, you won't get it back. So he's on the trip and he meets a blind man.

[50:30]

The blind man asks him for one of his eyes. and he gives a gift, and then the blind man smashes the eye because he doesn't know how to implant it in his head. And the disciple of Nagarjuna, whose name was at that time Aryadeva, which means, you know, really fine spirit or fine deity, regretted that he gave the gift, and he didn't get the eye back, and his name got changed to One-Eyed Deity. And so we chant her name in the morning. We say Nagarjuna Dayosho Kanadeva. Kanadeva means One-Eyed Deva. Because he wasn't careful when she gave the gift and thought, will I really be able to give this and not regret no matter what's done with the gift?

[51:31]

So before you go to hell, think about, it's probably going to get tough there, and I think when it gets tough, I might regret it. Don't go. I would say, if you ask me, say, wait. The same with practice periods. If you're going to start the practice period, if you would ask me, I would say, you know, it might get hard. In the middle of the practice period, you might think, this was a big mistake. And I might say, I know you might feel that way, but really now that you've started, it wouldn't be good to try to get out. That's not good. It's better not to enter at all than to undermine your wonderful intention. But you probably are going to make it. Now that you're here, we're going to help you get through this. Even though some of you in a week or two may think, This was a ridiculous thing I got into. Albert's already done several practice periods, so he knows that that happens.

[52:36]

But you completed them all, right? Yeah. He didn't let the thought, this is a big mistake, I'm getting out of here. That didn't take over. It kept going. So don't try to get out of hell, but before you go, check with your teacher. And if a teacher says, you know, it's going to be really tough, but I think you're going to be able to hang in there. And if you do try to get out, check with me before you leave. And if you're not trying to escape, I might agree to leave. But if you're trying to escape, that wouldn't be good. So, yeah. Now, if we're in hell and we feel like this was a mistake, then without trying to get away... Don't try to get away from hell when you're in hell. Practice these bodhisattva precepts. Practice generosity towards the hell. Practice being careful and gentle with hell. Practice patience with hell. Then you can bring benefit with your feeling, not only am I in hell, but I want to get out of here.

[53:38]

So you're in hell, but you're benefiting beings while you're there. And then you're ready to say, well, actually, now I actually see that it was good that I came and I'm happy I'm here and I really feel it's great to be here. I'm really enjoying it. Yeah, I'm happy to be here now. But you have to go back and do those practices sometimes. You have to replenish your energy to do those practices in hell. But once you get there, I recommend not, don't leave. Just like now that you're a human, please do not leave without consulting with your teacher. And you may not realize that you consulted with your teacher when you came, but you could imagine that you did now. That would be good for you to realize. Well, actually, I'm in this human realm, but I didn't come here by mistake. I actually wanted to come here. It wasn't a mistake. I came here because I wanted to help beings. Try to remember that, bodhisattvas. You didn't come here by mistake. You came here on purpose to help.

[54:41]

Because there's something really good to do here, even though it's hard. And think about that until you feel really enthusiastic about being here. And you start to smile slightly. Does that address? Yeah, that's very nice. Thank you. Thank you. Any other offerings or questions at this point? Yes. I think sometimes it's good to leave in the middle of a practice period.

[55:49]

You think sometimes it's good to leave? I think it's the right thing to do. She said she thinks for some people it's good to leave in the middle of a practice period. It can be the right thing to do. Yeah, it can be the right thing to do. But leaving to run away from doing the good thing of the practice period... Leaving to run away. Leaving with the feeling of trying to run away, I think that's not so good because that abandons your intention to be devoted to the practice period. But to leave because it's a good thing to do, which you wish to do, so that's fine. And when I particularly... I don't know. I think at Tassajara, when I've been in the position of the, quote, leader of the practice period, people often come to me and say, I am leaving or I want to leave. And that's happened quite a few times, and a few times it's happened here at Green Gulch, and a few times, and less often the city center, because city center, they do have practice periods where people are non-resident, so they're not so confined in their karmic consciousness.

[57:05]

They don't notice. And at Green Gulch, we used to let people in the practice period leave on the weekends. That's a historical, that's a story. We used to let the people in the practice period go out on the weekends, and I used to watch them get in cars. They often would mount, they would mount their car, they would get on their car over there by the auto shop. I would watch them jumping in the cars and then zipping out on the day off. And I would wave goodbye, and they would go off happily. And I thought, oh, they're going out to have some time off together. And then I found out what they did when they went out. And I was quite surprised to find out that people actually, in the practice period, got in cars together, went out, and ingested alcohol and even hard drugs.

[58:06]

as in heroin and cocaine. Are you surprised? Yes. Yeah. Well, I was too. They looked so happy when they came out. When they came back, they looked also happy, but then the next day they looked very unhappy as well. Many very unhappy things happened, which is what led us to find out about these drugs. Like one person almost cut his hand off in an intoxicated state after coming back from a day off, went in and used a table saw. And then we found out one of his friends told us, well, actually, blah, blah. So then after that, we suggested that people come for practice but not go out because they might do stuff like that. And so now Green Gulch is more confined and people think more often of getting out of the practice period.

[59:10]

But anyway, many times when people come, I say to them, if you want to leave the practice period and you're completely settled in the practice period, If you're like not trying to run away and you're completely settled here, and at peace here with the difficulties of this place. And you come to me and say, I'm settled, but I think it'd be better for me to leave. I will support you. But if you're running away from the difficulties of the practice period, then when you get out of here, like when you get over the mountain to the other side, you're just going to run away from there too. Because it's difficult on the other side of the mountain too. So I don't particularly want you to run away from here and then run away from there. But if you're not running away from here, but just doing something that you think would be wholesome, and being here would be wholesome too, and you're patient with this and you intend to be patient when you leave, I'd support that. And of all the times people came asked, only two came back and said, I'm completely settled and at peace being in the practice period and I would like to leave.

[60:15]

The other ones either didn't settle And so they didn't come back, or they did settle, and they said, oh, now that I settled, actually, I don't want to leave. And one of them that left, about a week after she left, she wrote back and said, I found out. When she left, she said, I want to do something else this fall than be in the practice period. And after she left, she wrote back and said, I'm pregnant. Mm-hmm. that's what I want to do. I didn't know it at the time, but that's what I want to do. I'm very happy to be pregnant and to take care of that outside the practice period. So yeah, it was appropriate that she left, and she left, she didn't run away. So yeah, and it is sometimes good to leave the monastery. It is sometimes good to go out of hell and go to heaven or animal realm or whatever, or human realm, to go help people, sometimes helpful. Sometimes it's good to run away.

[61:15]

For bodhisattvas, it's not good to abandon beings. So if you're running away to abandon yourself, I would say, not good. If you're running away to protect beings, that's good. Bodhisattvas would do everyone's benefit. But running away to abandon beings, abandon yourself, I always say that's not the Bodhisattva vow. We do not vow to abandon all sentient beings. But sometimes running away is really helpful to sentient beings. It demonstrates to other people something that would be good for them to do. For example, if the Zen is on fire, Bodhisattva runs out and says, let's go, guys. Come on. It's okay. You don't have to stay cross-legged. It's all right, really. Let's go. So sometimes running away is really beneficial, yes. But abandoning beings is not beneficial. It's not because it harms beings to abandon them.

[62:21]

Anything else tonight that you wish to bring up before we look at the... Yes. I know that in the... Would you speak up? I know that when we chant, there is something that says, like, nobody can comprehend the depth of, like, the merit of sitting in satsang. Right. And I feel it, like, actually, every intention that we have, actually, it's, like, radiated to the whole and has effect, like, where all that is. And I was wondering if you are willing to expand a bit about that, about our intention to become bodhisattvas or safe beings? How does it affect the world, I mean, like our intention and our practice? You'd like me to expand on how our practice inconceivably benefits all beings? Yes. I know it's inconceivably, but, like, let's make it like a dharmic experience of, like,

[63:34]

Speak about it in words, if possible. Speak about it in words, if possible. Now, I am on the verge of either getting, having more pain in my throat Or less. And I thought maybe I would drink some ginger tea. How's that? Yeah? What does this mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, how about yeah? Well, it's my practice, I feel, that if you speak more, it's going to be of more benefit.

[64:48]

I shall, if you feel that way, consider to speak more. So I said earlier that I think maybe I'll drink some Ginger tea. And there's some left. So I think I'm going to drink some more now. And this is, I'm talking more, right? Here's more. Watch. Watch me now. Good. So, one day, one day a monk came to visit. Nan Chuan. You've heard of Nan Chuan. He's the one who had the problem with his monks were fighting over a cat. That's a very awesome case of the monks fighting over the cat. On another occasion, he was out in the field cutting

[65:55]

grass to make thatch for the monastery buildings. And a monk came and said, I'm looking for Nanchuan. Could you tell me where I can find him? I mean, I know he's inconceivable, but would you tell me something about him? I've come from far away to meet the inconceivable Zen master Nanchuan. Would you tell me where he is? And Nanchuan raised his sickle, his scythe, and said, this costs $30. And the monk said, I didn't ask how much your scythe cost. I said I wanted to see Nanchuan. And Anjuan said, it's really sharp. And then the monk left. So we do.

[66:58]

Did he bow first? He bowed after. After. Yes, please come. I'd be so scared up there. You would? Well, will you come someday? Yeah, someday. Okay. You were talking about joy. When you were talking about joy for Bodhisattvas... Is your name Barbara? Yes, it is. Barbara. Yes. Please speak. It almost sounded to me like a methodology Bodhisattvas were using, you know, the smile, the joy. But when I look at you or think of other people who have practiced a very long time like the Dalai Lama and other people that I've met in my lifetime, great teachers, they're all just intrinsically joyful.

[68:08]

It's just a part of who they are which makes me wonder I don't know what the right word is, whether it's Buddha nature or something, but that isn't intrinsically, inherently joyful, and so that bodhisattvas are joyful because that's who, in fact, that's what they are. I would say that when we do the bodhisattva practices, this intrinsic joyful Buddha nature blooms. So the bodhisattvas don't necessarily go around trying to smile. They might sometimes do that, but that's not their true smile. Their true smile comes just from the practice. It's like when you really get concentrated, your hands, maybe the energy of your body kind of like starts flowing and you feel like, you know, when you're really cooking, it's like your body wants to go into a mudra. It likes, you know...

[69:11]

Your hands, the tips of your fingers kind of hurt. And you feel like your hands are like being forced into a mudra. And then the energy flows, you know, flows. Or you feel like... And then you feel like, oh, yeah, right. This is more comfortable. So, when bodhisattvas are practicing, a smile comes in their face and they even think sometimes, this is really what I want to be doing here. This is appropriate. I'm glad to be here with these people. This is where I feel so fortunate. And they feel that way because of the practice. And they do the practice because they've heard this from others. Yeah. When Sukershi was walking around, he wasn't smiling, usually.

[70:18]

And he also wasn't talking. But when he met people, there would often be a smile. Otherwise, he was just like, usually paying attention to his posture, I think. But when he met people, there was often a smile. You might look like an idiot if you were. You might. And actually... I walk around like this. Particularly in Mill Valley, I do that. I walk around like this. And when people see me, they smile. They might be laughing at me, actually. What a weirdo. Like my daughter thinks I'm a weirdo. And they might think so too, but they usually smile back.

[71:23]

You can try it in a grocery store. If you walk around and you see smiling people, look at them and smile. I do do it in grocery store, and they do look at me and smile. But I don't try to do it. It just comes naturally when I'm in Mill Valley. And also... Because you've left free food? Yeah. and also when I'm carrying this little girl this 11 month old girl when I'm carrying her I think I'm smiling most of the time and sometimes when I carry her for a long time my back starts to hurt but I keep smiling even though my back hurts sometimes and I was carrying her up the hill the other day and I don't remember if I was smiling when I was not only carrying her but walking uphill Oh, you saw me. So, next week, I will read the text.

[72:36]

And we'll either start with the poem or with the case. And what was I going to say? I just recently read a letter which was written by one of the great students of Hakuinzenji whose name is Tore. And he said, you know, I vow to realize Bodhidharma's practice. I vow to realize Bodhidharma's vows. I vow to realize Bodhisattva's way. I vow to realize Bodhidharma's wisdom. I vow to realize Bodhidharma's compassion.

[73:44]

I vow to realize Bodhidharma's freedom. I vow to be intimate with Bodhidharma. He said that. So I ask you to consider if you vow to be intimate with this mythical being who is supposed to be the founder of the Zen school and whose story is the first story of this collection and the second story of the Book of Surrender. Do you vow to meet Bodhidharma? And you don't have to. But he's mentioned that this other Zen student did vow to meet him intimately and realize his teaching and his way intimately and completely. So I'd sort of just leave you to consider that.

[74:46]

And you might ask me, do I vow that? And I will also, with you, together with you, I will consider if I vow to be intimate with the person who is the background story of the first case. So, yeah, so please consider that. Think about that. Think about what kind of relationship you want to have with Bodhidharma. Okay? Thank you very much.

[76:04]

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