Father, help through practice of this your mind of faith, of this your body of faith. Often at the beginning of practice periods, mentioned to the whole group that I'd like you to look inside and see what your life is in this life. And I often ask individual people what it is. I think that's a good thing to mention again. What is your ultimate concern?

[01:04]

Suzuki Roshi had this expression, your inmost request. Maybe that's a similar thing. Your ultimate concern is, you could also say, your deepest concern. Maybe some pattern in your experience, some deep aspect in the pattern of your experience. The most important point in the whole experience of the moment. If we turn the light around and shine it back inwardly, to all of our actions, which means to give close attention to all of our intentions, motivations,

[02:51]

we will be able to perhaps discover our deepest intention or the deepest aspect of our intention. And that might be quite similar to saying that it will become clear that nothing whatsoever has an abiding self. that it is being proposed right now that attention to all of our actions dash all of our intentions. It will become clear that nothing whatever has an abiding independent self.

[03:55]

In other words, the emptiness of all that pattern will become clear. And that pattern also has a, this pattern, which doesn't have a selflessness, may also have, still, it's a pattern. It's an intention, it's a wish, and it still may have within its selflessness a pattern caring for all beings. So our intention, we will see that everything, including intention, doesn't have a self. But there's still an intention there of concern for the welfare of all beings.

[05:05]

So we will see that things lack self, aren't abiding, and that that way things are has within it a wish. And that selfless wish, or that wish in the middle of selflessness, is what is the main condition in the world. And this can be found right in the middle of your moment-by-moment experience, if you will attend to your moment-by-moment experience, and in particular, attend to the intention that But you may not immediately.

[06:10]

Most people don't immediately see. Nothing becomes clear immediately for most people. It will become clear what the intention is, and it's not initially clear that everything lacks an abiding, independent self. As I mentioned in the Zen the other day, Another way to put it is, if you listen to your motivation, to the wishes, the pattern of wishing in your mind, it will become clear that all five aggregates are empty, thus relieving all suffering and distress. So I'll be looking at contemplating his or her five aggregates. And one of the aggregates is the fourth one, the first five.

[07:15]

And a key ingredient in the fourth, cetana, or intention. And cetana is the pattern of the five aggregates. And the pattern of the five aggregates is the intention of the moment. of that moment of life. Nabalapiteshvara was looking, seeing a relationship, and saw that all these things, including attention, was empty of any self and not really of suffering. Um, see, so, uh, the, uh, the word

[08:46]

the Sanskrit word for intention or motivation, which is, again, the overall pattern of cognition. And again, the overall pattern of cognition is the activity of the cognition. Or you could say that chaitanya is the overall pattern of a cognitive being. So I'm a cognitive being, you're a cognitive being, and the overall pattern of my cognitive being is my activity, my karma, in a given moment. And the Sanskrit word for that is cetana. The word that they used to translate it, the Chinese word that they used to translate it looks like this.

[09:53]

It's got the radical for rice field on top, mind on the bottom. Rice field. It has a shape of a rice field. And below it has character for mind. So again, the word that they used to translate The shape of the mind is a character which looks like a shape. And that Chinese character that they used to translate shape to now, it's pronounced in Japanese, it's called and I think in Chinese it's called . It's translated, its meanings are intent, to intend, to think, to believe, or intention, thinking, believing. Okay? Oh, esteem.

[10:59]

So, thinking is another word for the pattern of your cognition. The kind of thinking that's going on is another word for it. So they use this character to translate it. But this intention is similar to or related to vow. Yeah, the English word intention and vow are similar. Vow, wish, and so on. And when we say at the end of class, we say, may our intention. That's a translation from a Japanese chant. which is very similar to all of the Mahayana Buddhism. You say, may our intention equally and equally extend every being in place. In Japanese, it's negawakua. negawakua means May it be so.

[12:12]

We intend that it be so. We pray that it be so. So is also pronounced in Chinese, gone. But the Chinese pronunciation is gone. By Chinese, I mean pronouncing a character in the Chinese way. Gone means vow. We vow. What do we vow? of our study will be dedicated to the enlightenment of all. We vow that the merit of our practice will be dedicated to all beings attaining the Buddha way. That's a translation. We vow that. We wish that. And also we think that. We think that. We think that we want that. We want that. We think that way. So it's a different Chinese character. It's this character here.

[13:15]

Gan or negawakua. So the shape of our mind is our intention, but also, in a sense, it's our vow. But usually we don't say vow. The intention of our mind, if you look in your mind and you see, oh, it's shaped like I want to go to the toilet. That's the shape of it. So that's a key ingredient. You know, you should call that a vow. But in fact, if you look in your mind sometimes, you see, oh, yeah, definitely, I do want to go to the toilet fairly soon. And I want to go to, yeah, and I want to go to that toilet. And that's kind of the intention in the moment. Have you seen that one? Of course. It took you a while to learn how to see it, but you learned to see it. As a little kid, the intention was there, but you didn't think of going to the bathroom. It was the intention to relax in certain parts of your body.

[14:31]

It was an intention to relax. You didn't notice it. And your friends and neighbors had to teach you to connect. feeling that was arising in you, this pattern of your sensation, with the intention to go some particular place to do something. And you learn that, and so you can look inside and say, oh, there's the intention to do that. But we usually don't call that a vow, right? But because that's what it was like, you get this feeling and kind of feel like, oh, I wish people would be happy. You see people who are real, or you see people, big people, little people, you see them and they're unhappy and you kind of start feeling like, I wish they would, I intend that they would go to the happy room. I want them to go to the happy place. I want them to have a happy lunch. I want them to be at ease.

[15:34]

It's very similar to the intention that they would be happy, that you feel motivated and wishing that they would be happy. So vow and Intention, motivation, they're kind of similar. They really are similar. They're the same thing, the same type of stuff. But we usually don't use vowel for them. However, part of what I'm intending and vowing today is to bring those two together in this world. Sahara and planet Earth. And I even can imagine part of the pattern of my consciousness is that this might be a little difficult for you at a certain point when you start getting close to each other.

[16:37]

Now in the, there's this big book here called All the Time Succeses for the Flower of the Human Future. There's a chapter in here called Purifying Practices. And in that chapter, basically the chapter starts out with a bodhisattva named Chief in Knowledge, that's Manjushri, How can bodhisattvas attain faultless action of body, speech and mind, faultless karma? But also understand, how can bodhisattvas attain faultless intention, faultless motivation, faultless wish? wish of body, speech, and mind.

[17:57]

In your mind, how can you have a wish in your mind? And then when you speak, how can your speech be infused with a faultless wish, a faultless motivation, a faultless vow? And when you make postures, how can your postures be infused with faultless intention? That's the question that the bodhisattva puts to the bodhisattva Manjushri. And then he says, how can a bodhisattva attain harmless body, speech and mind? How can a bodhisattva attain blameless intention? How can a bodhisattva attain invulnerable How can a bodhisattva attain non-regressive intention? How can a bodhisattva attain unshakable intention?

[18:59]

How can a bodhisattva attain excellent intention of body, speech and mind? Excellent action of body, speech and mind. How can a bodhisattva attain pure action of body, speech and mind? How can a bodhisattva attain unpolluted action of body, speech and mind? How can they attain action that is guided by wisdom? How can they have purified karma? How can they have purified intention? It's a question. Then he goes on, for a little bit longer, asking some other questions, like, how can they have excellent discernment, foremost discernment, supreme discernment? incalculable discernment, inconceivable discernment, incomparable discernment, unfathomable discernment, and inexpressible discernment. And then they do that with all kinds of Buddha powers, all the powers people.

[20:01]

They go on to all this fantastic, wonderful, subtle, sublime qualities of body and mind that enlightened beings have. The question is, how can they attain it? But the first one he asks about, how can they purify their karma? The answer, basically, this is the basic paradigm of the answer. The answer is, wherever, it doesn't say this, I'm saying this, wherever, however, whoever a bodhisattva is or are, they wish that all sentient beings will, you know, be really well-off. That's basically how they suggest in this chapter to purify your karma and have all the great Buddha qualities is that wherever you are and however you are, all sentient beings will be just really well.

[21:04]

So, for example, if you are about to enter the bathroom, the toilet, because there's a wish to go to the toilet, you're about to enter because there's a wish to enter the toilet. At that time, you wish that all sentient beings will realize complete relief from all suffering. Just, you know, because that sort of goes with what you're about to do. So you have a mundane situation, like you're about to eat lunch or go to the toilet or go into a meditation hall. And then on that occasion, and that occasion is part of the shape of your mind. That's where you are and that's how you see yourself, like here's me and there's the room.

[22:24]

You wish that all sentient beings will, and you can think of something you wish for them. something really good. You think of a good present for them, a good gift. And here there's, I don't know how many there are, but there's quite a few situations described in this text. I'll probably pick the ones that are so close to home to you during practice period. And there's a whole bunch of them for the kitchen, too. When entering the hall, They wish that all sentient beings will ascend to the unexcelled sanctuary and rest there secure and undisturbed. When setting up their seat, they wish that all sentient beings cause good principles to bloom and see their true character.

[23:30]

When sitting upright, they wished that all sentient beings sit on the seat of enlightenment and enter their minds without attachment. When crossing the legs to sit, they wished that all sentient beings have firm, strong roots of goodness and attain the state of immobility. Concentration. They wished that all sentient beings conquer the mind with concentration, ultimately without remainder. And Ru Jing told Dogen that, you know, every time at the beginning of every sitting, you may think, you may intend, you may vow, that this sitting that the merit of this sitting will be for the enlightenment of all beings.

[24:35]

I wish that all sentient beings are benefited by this sitting. This is a way to purify the karma of the activity of sitting by this type of on-occasion acts, wishing that all sentient beings get benefit. So another way to put this is no matter what action you're doing, you wish that this action will realize the Buddha Dharma for all sentient beings. We wish that this action will realize Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha for all beings, whatever the action is.

[25:38]

Isn't there a difference between saying it to ourselves and really meaning it? Yes. So how do we get from sort of formulaically saying, when we go to the ground, the path of all the ascension beings, actually really meaning it? Well, I think one way you get there is you say it, maybe formulaically you say it, and you look inside and see if you're in accord with it. That's one way. Another way would be... And if you're not? And if you're not, you see that. That would be similar to looking inside yourself

[26:39]

even though you're not even formulaically saying, I want to live in accord with the Buddha way, even though you don't say that, you look inside and you see that you see a pattern of ill will towards being. You don't have to necessarily notice that that pattern of ill will is not in accord with the pattern of wishing well. If you look inside and you see ill will, you don't have to necessarily juxtapose it with good will. Right? If you look inside without any reference or concern with good will and you just find ill will, that itself is also part of the practice. You're actually looking at the right place. You're looking at the boat, if you're right. The ill will boat. And you're noticing that it's ill will. If you notice that repeatedly, goodwill will sometimes emerge because of your attending to the ill will and seeing how ill will works of one and all.

[28:02]

Generally speaking, that's how it works. It has consequence of ill. And you see that, and as you see that, what I should say, as this is observed, this becomes conditions for the thought, how about a little goodwill just for a change? This is really a bummer. And that thought right there, just at that popping that up, which comes through observing the ill will, then that thought of goodwill is up there. And then you think, yeah, well, actually, goodwill for somebody. Then you actually say that, and at that time, anyway, you kind of like feel it. You weren't doing it because you thought you were supposed to. It just sort of came up because you were becoming an expert on ill will. Becoming an expert on ill will, as you pay attention to it, you become a place where the arising of goodwill comes through the observation of ill will.

[29:09]

Now you've got not only good will coming up, but wanting to do it. At that moment, you do want to do it. You don't even say you want to do it. You just want to. And you say, I think I'd like to make a program out of this. So then you say it. But sometimes you say it, but you don't feel it. And now that you say it and don't feel it, it's different than before when you just felt the ill will. Now you're feeling the ill will. You realize that goodwill is kind of like where you actually want to be, and you're actually committed to it. And now it highlights it, actually. And then that process goes on for a while. And as you keep intending goodwill, you actually become purified of ill will. Like, purified. No more ill will. Like, zero. like not wanting ill for anybody.

[30:14]

But that comes usually through studying ill will, watching the interest in good will arise, and then working at good will, which also requires just as much attention as noticing ill will. But working at good will involves noticing ill will. There's plenty of ill will to notice, and noticing it purifies. And part of the purification is the arising of the wish for goodwill. That's how I would propose it works, with just a little bit of competence. However, I also have confidence that it won't necessarily be easy to observe goodwill much at all. I don't know too many people who are really cheerful about observing their own goodwill or other people's goodwill, but actually I made a mistake.

[31:22]

I don't know too many people who are cheerful about observing their own ill will or other people's ill will. But I'm not recommending actually that you observe other people's ill will yet. That's more advanced practice, which many people have taken on. without time to them by their teacher. I'm suggesting you look for your own ill will. And again, I don't see too many people who are looking and finding it who are like, oh, I'm so happy I found it. But I'm happy that you find it. Me to be happy that you find it, especially if it's not towards me. then for you to find it. I know it's not, you don't feel that good about yourself when you find a lot of ill will inside. But I'm happy you found it because now you are tipped off to the kind of person you are. You're a person that sometimes now you know. You're not, you know, other people knew, but you didn't know.

[32:23]

There was a person who worked in the kitchen at Green Gulch. He was a big guy and he often was, he just had knives in his hand. Right. And he had lots and lots of ill will, and he didn't know anything about it. And we didn't know he was an alcoholic at that time, too. So because, I don't know, they go together. There's ill will, then you don't feel good about ill will, so you drink alcohol, so you don't see the good of ill will, so you feel somewhat at ease because you don't see how angry you are. But then the anger again makes you continue to be at risk for the ill will. The ill will makes you continue to be at risk to take more alcohol, and the alcohol keeps the awareness of the ill will away. And this person came to see me once, and he said, you know, that he'd been angry at me for 15 years, but he started to notice it.

[33:28]

And he said, and I want you to know that I was an alcoholic for 20 years. He said, I have to tell you that now, and I have been angry, because as long as I'm angry at you, I'm at risk of becoming an alcoholic again. I'm starting to drink again. So it's not easy to look inside and see ill will towards anybody, not to mention towards most people. But when I see someone looking inside and finding tons of ill-will, I'm happy that they found it. And if we can keep looking, we will find goodwill. And then from there we will become more and more purified of ill-will karma. the wish, the vow, the intent that others will be ill.

[34:36]

Like, you know, like, I don't know, they have, like, football teams in America, you know? Professional football teams, there's big guys that bump into each other. And people, like, they go to these games, and some of the people in the audience and some of the players actually have ill will towards They actually want the people on the other team to be ill. Some of them. They, like, want the best player to get ill. If you think about it, it's really kind of... ...your team to win against a weaker team. You know, like, we want this team to beat that team, so we want everybody on that team to be sick, so they can run over... Rather than want them to be healthy so that they can really have a good game with us. No. They not only want them to be weak so that they can win. What? But they actually want the person to be weak and ill.

[35:43]

Even the person to get maimed and, you know, become a cripple. Can you imagine that? Yeah. That's happening right now all over the world. So that's it. It's happening all over the world. So, you know, what do we do about that? Pardon? What do we do about that? Yeah, well, what do you think I'm saying? Recognize our own real world. That's right. What do we do? Not all you can do. It's not all you can do. Not at all. That's just the first step. And it's the first step every moment. How can anyone expect anything to change if... If all of those people who are causing so much suffering have no idea that it all begins with recognizing our own well. Say again? How can anybody expect... Yeah. There's one else. All right. Things are already changing.

[36:46]

But not for the better. I didn't say they came for the better. But they're already changing. So things are changing. So I think, so I modify your question as better, because they are changing. And how do they change for better? By watching the change. If you tune in to the change, the changing process of your own consciousness, that changes the world positively. You may wish everybody else also to tune in to this same station. You may wish that. And again, ladies and gentlemen, I have mentioned this before, but let me now mention it. Maybe I did mention it, that the world is the consequence of the wishes and intentions of all living beings. So the world we live in is the consequence of your vows and your intentions, and my vows and my intentions. So as you wish,

[37:48]

to pay attention to your consciousness and your changing consciousness and your will as you wish that. You're wishing it before you even go to look. Already the world has changed in a way that you want it to go. It's already changed in the direction of nonviolence that you wish to look inside yourself. Now that you look inside and you see some impermanence, and you're able to look at that, it changes again, not only because you looked, but for what you saw. The more impermanence you see, the less violent you become. The less and also the more ill will you see, the less ill will you become caught by. So by studying your own changeable consciousness, your own ill will, the world is transformed because the world is created by your intentions, your vows. Now some other people are not looking inside and the world is also being formed by their inattention to their vows. So there's a little bit of a, I don't know what the word is, a great worldwide dance between those who are paying attention and those who aren't.

[38:59]

And so... What about when you have ill-willed countries? Even though you have ill-willed America, ill-willed Iraq, even though many people in those countries do not hold back, people who are running these countries believe that they're doing the right thing. It just feels like impossible. Well, a lot of it feels like it's impossible. You see the Latina sign, you see... some kind of impossible situation. You don't see any possibility for things to develop. Is that what you see? So I'm saying if you look in there and study that pattern that looks like it's impossible, you'll start to notice that that picture of impossible is changing. It's impossible in a different way at the moment. And as you start to notice that the way is impossible now, And the way it's impossible yesterday, you'll notice that these images are impossible.

[40:06]

I'm not really rigidly, solidly impossible. It just looks impossible to me. But now you're watching it. If you don't look at it, then the... of your thinking, which is your intention. Your intention has the shape of, it's impossible to do anything good. And when you think it's impossible to do anything good, that has consequence. It makes you sick, whatever. It makes you at risk for unwholesome behaviors if you don't look at it. But if you look at it, even if you think it's impossible, you will be purified of this view of it's impossible in your own self. Now, if I just temporarily just look at the world situation, it's whole countries? No, it's not whole countries. Where was I? I was in Greece. I was in Athens. I was in an ice cream store in Athens, and this guy sitting in front of me, standing in front of me, and on the back of his shirt, it says Mississippi.

[41:18]

which is where I was born. So I go to this guy, who I don't know, and I put my hand on his back and run my hand along the word Mississippi on his back. And he doesn't turn around, so I do it again. And I do it again until finally he turns around and I say, I'm from... I was born in Mississippi. And he said, what's Mississippi? I said, Mississippi. I said, that's what it says on your back. That's a state in the United States. And he says, oh. I said, I'm born there. He said, oh. He said, I'm from Iraq. And he says, and I said, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that my country, my country's army attacked your country. He said, oh, you know, not people, presidents. American people don't want President Bush. If George Bush didn't have ill will towards Saddam Hussein and etc., things would be a lot different.

[42:30]

If the people who are in powerful positions could change. Now, how did they get there in the first place is another question. They're in those positions. If they can change, the world can change. And they are changing, and if they can notice somehow that they're changing, then they can notice that they've changed. But if they don't look inside to see if they've changed, then it's like they don't see if they've changed, so they act like they don't change. And when they act like they don't change, that's violent, because that's their reality. If somebody says, I like George Bush, he's consistent. What he believes on Monday is the same as he believes on Wednesday, regardless of what happens on Tuesday. If you got to a certain point in your meditation, it's possible for you to meet people like that and to get them to look inside. That would be the goal, to be that skillful that you could get people who don't look inside themselves to see what's going on, to look inside themselves to see what's going on.

[43:38]

That's our goal. Impossible? You could say impossible. Does it seem difficult? I would certainly... I don't think impossible, but I think difficult. But it's even difficult for me to look into my own mind all the time and change... Again, I don't change my own mind. Awareness of my mind is awareness of how my mind's changed. And when there's awareness of how my mind's changing, my mind changes in a positive way. The world is changing, and I propose that I've seen in people who look inside and notice how they're changing, that those who notice how they're changing notice how they're changing in a way that they want to change, namely more positively, more awakened. more kind, less ill will. But they have to notice change, which is very hard, ill will, which is very hard, and so on. The more they notice that, I've seen people become more and more free of these unhelpful understandings of what's going on that give rise to greed, hate, and delusion.

[44:48]

That's a proposal. I do not think it's impossible. for individuals to change. And I think that individuals is what makes the world. Individual kindness, the collective of all our individual intentions. Chapter in here on the formation of the world. There's a chapter here on the formation of the world. It says, the world is formed by the motives and vows of all beings. Some of the beings are enlightened beings. They like, are like... They just happen to have looked at their own real wills long enough so there isn't any anymore. So they're just non-stop generating good will. That has... I don't see so many of those people. Huh? I think there's more of those people that... You know, it's hard to take a census, but... But it is said in our tradition that it is rare, it is rare that you meet, have a chance to meet a person who's got kind of pretty well cultivated and is like up in 90, 100% area of like goodwill.

[46:14]

It's rare to meet somebody like that. And it's easy to find people who are like occasionally have goodwill. It's easy to find people who occasionally have goodwill, right? And you can even find some people who never had any. And when you meet somebody like that, you may actually feel a lot of good will towards that person, or you might even have ill will towards this person who hates everybody. But there are stories in this world of somebody who hates everybody, who meets somebody who decides to love them into submission. And somebody just focuses on that person. There's a story like that about a cantor, a Jewish guy, who meets this leader of the clan who basically hates everybody that's different from him, which is everybody. And this rabbi, this cantor and his wife decide to love this guy.

[47:18]

And they love him into submission. And he said after he gave up, after he quit the clan and actually moved in with them and became Jewish and apologized, he said, I never met love like that before in my life. I could not resist. It overwhelmed me. But the power of I love depends and see what's going on. Because there's probably some ill will or selfishness or confusion. There's love in there too. But if you don't look inside, you can't see the love. Just to hear about it is one thing, but to look inside, you say, well, I love it. What do you see? I see some confusion and some fear and some ill will. Okay, keep looking, keep looking, keep looking. If you keep looking in your mind which has confusion and ill will and lack of appreciation for somebody, if you look in there and see that kind of mind, looking at that mind and seeing how it's shaped and how it works, you will eventually see this selflessness.

[48:28]

which has compassion and that's cool. You will see that. And when you see that, then you will be one of these rare people. So to go from now, from being a commoner to a rare person is a bit of work, but this is the work. And it's very encouraging to everybody. It's very encouraging to me when people look inside. You encourage me when you look inside and tell me the mess you see. And then our experience is that the more you look at the mess, The more you learn about it, the more you see that it's changing, it's clearing up. And goodwill is popping up there too. So that's what I'm proposing. And I'm proposing it, but I think that's what the ancestors proposed. They proposed that we pay close attention to our inner state. When we do that, then we can help others.

[49:30]

And we'll be helping others from this place of being aware of what's going on with us, so then we can be patient with them. There's plenty of, you know, there's plenty to be patient with people. We can be non-violent with them. We can be gentle with them and compassionate with them because we are aware of ourselves. If we're not aware of ourselves, we will be less able to care for them. And when they feel that care, they will be more and more interested in where we're coming from, that we could be that way. They will want to know, how come you can be so patient with me? How come you can be so gentle with me? You say, well, I looked a long time at how impatient I was and how un-gentle I was, and that helped me become more gentle towards you and not patient with you. And then they start, and then they have a hard time, and you help them.

[50:35]

So... The thing I was alluding to, bringing up today, which is kind of difficult and also totally wonderful, this is a copy of something which Daniel Herman got interested in. So now here it is. This is a picture of a... of a statue that someone made to put my mother's ashes in. I asked someone to make a statue that I could put some of my mother's ashes into the clay. I think this is a picture of Persephone.

[51:36]

And she's holding up a little boat, and in the boat is... But what I was going to bring up was this thing called a grandmother mind. It's an expression that you find in Zen, in Chinese Zen, but also it's very important to me. It's very important to me because it's so cool, this grandmother mind, grandmother mindfulness. And I was drawn to this because one of our ancestors, Dogen, had a student called Tetsu Gikai, who you know his name from the morning channel. And I once heard about this conversation between them.

[52:39]

Dogen said to Gikai, you know, I'd like to complete Dharma transmission with you, but you need to work more on the grandmother mindfulness, the grandmotherly mindfulness. You're a great student and you're really good, but you've got to work on this grandmother mind thing. And I was, I had trouble with that because Tetsugikad was such a devoted and excellent student, I couldn't understand what Dogen was pointing to. Because he was like so kind to the other monks, he was a tenzo. And he just wholeheartedly served as tenzo to the community, right up to Dogen's Well, right after Dogen's death and beyond.

[53:44]

But Dogen said, you know, you've got a problem with this grandmother mind thing. And he mentioned it three times. And there's many ways to tell this story, but anyway, I had a problem with what was the problem. I couldn't understand the problem. This guy seemed like he totally did have grandmother mind to me. But then... Gikai said something after Dogen died which helped me understand what the problem was. So there's a statement, let's see, the statement, every action is a rite or a ceremony. So you can say, In the Buddhadharma, every action is a rite or a ceremony. Is a rite?

[54:50]

A rite or a ceremony. Or you could say that in Buddhadharma, Buddhadharma is, the practice of Buddhadharma is to perform every action as a ceremony, perform every action as or within Buddhadharma. Or you might say perform every action as or within Buddhadeportment, Buddhadeportment. So another statement would be, Buddhadharma The Buddha Dharma transmitted by Dogen is the correct performance of one's monastic task. So monastic task is to

[56:02]

come to this room. Another monastic task is to go to the meditation hall. Another monastic task is to cook lunch. Another monastic task is to receive lunch. Another monastic task is to serve lunch. Another monastic task is to ring a bell. Another monastic task is when you hear the bell, or actually is to hear a bell. Hearing a bell is a monastic task. The correct performance of your . Hearing a bell. What's the correct performance in a monastic attack, monastic task? Well, it's to hear the bell within the practice of Buddhadharma. Now maybe it's easier to say, to ring the bell within Buddha Dharma.

[57:17]

As you're ringing the bell, you wish that all sentient beings will hear the true Dharma. That's what you do. This ringing the bell is the performance of the monastic task of ringing the bell. But the monastic part of ringing the bell, monastic part means mono. The one thing you're always doing in the monastery is you're doing whatever you're doing for the welfare of all beings. That's what you're ringing the bell for, for the welfare of all beings. But this is also a ceremony. And there's a way to do it, too. And everything you're doing in the monastery is your monastic task.

[58:28]

There's no time in the monastery when you're not performing a monastic task. There's no step you take that's not a monastic task. Monastery is the place where you live, and the way you live is your monastic activity. And the building is saying that the Buddha Dharma is nothing other than your monastic being performed correctly, which includes that you're mindful of what you're doing. That there's nothing you do which isn't a ceremony, which isn't a rite. And Tetsunpikai, he said, you know, I heard Dogen say that, but I just couldn't believe it.

[59:32]

I thought there must be something outside this. Did you have your hand raised, Joe? You're going. So is there a difference between somehow keeping in mind this wish of the World Trade Ball game as we do each activity, and just doing an activity. There's a lot of questions of just doing, just sitting, just eating wholeheartedly, just doing that one thing. So is there a difference between just doing something and doing something, but at the same time trying to do something?

[60:42]

Could you hear what he said? No. I don't know if I would say exactly that there's a difference, but to get to the point where you could like, what do you call it, I'll just use it, it can relate to some other example, to raise your arm, to lift your arm, and just do that, it usually takes some kind of meditation to actually be able to just do it. Because what is... You see, there's some intention here in this, between this arm. If you don't look to see what the intention is, how are you going to just do it? How are you going to just do it without mindful of what the intention is in the action? So just do it, they don't say, just do it involves some attention to what you're doing.

[61:52]

So already there's the intention to pay attention to what you're doing, and now you're paying attention to your intention, which means you're paying attention to your wish. So what's that like to be just doing what you're doing? Yes? Were you waiting for an answer to that question?

[62:55]

Not exactly an answer, but I thought you were going to respond to that. It might be related, but I don't think it was a response to it. It's a similar kind of question, but it's also a response. And that, like, in just doing what it is that you're doing, with the intention that all beings have happiness and not have suffering, and to realize happiness through recognition of their own intricacies. The best way that I can actually support that realization is through recognizing my own intricacies. The best way that I can recognize my own interdependency is by paying attention completely without superimposing some concept about other people in myself or about what it is that I'm doing. So that's how it conflicts with me.

[63:58]

I didn't see the conflict. Tell me about it. Can you wait just one second? I think what you said might help with this previous question. When you raise your hand, when they say, just raise your hand, or just do it, I think one of the meanings of that is, don't raise your hand to get something, or to avoid something. Just raise your hand with no gaining idea. That's part of what might be intended by this statement. How are you going to raise your hand without trying to get something from it unless you look to see if you are trying to get something from it? If you raise your hand without attention, you might say, hey, I just raised my hand. Or sometimes, just the way I am. I wasn't trying to get anything. If you looked, you might have seen that you actually had some gaining idea or some avoiding idea in raising your hand.

[65:06]

But if you can see the gaining idea, that's the beginning of learning what it means to just raise your hand. And again, it connects to what you're saying, is that if you wish, but in raising your hand, that raising your hand may lift up all beings, may all beings be uplifted at this time. And while I raise my hand, may all these be lifted out of suffering. And there, you may look and see some confusion about that. Or that you think that that would be a gain or something like that. And so you wouldn't yet have achieved this thing, this statement of just do it. And not connect back to what you said about the confusion or the conflict. What is it? Because originally the conflict is having the intention to support the well-being of others through realizing my own interconnectivity and not supposing what I'm doing in order to realize that interconnectivity and thus to wish for the well-being of all beings.

[66:28]

Okay. That does sound kind of confused, that picture you just said. So if you look inside and you see a pattern like that, that's quite normal that when we look inside we see some confusion. And by studying our confusion, or she said, studying our confusion is offered as the path to understand interdependence. Say more. I was wondering if it's, like, if it's how I proved my intention for helping beings by, you know, like, it seems like almost a qualitative difference between, like, sitting down or, like, going to the bathroom and, like, wishing that that activity was going to save all of me.

[67:33]

It's not so much wishing that the activity, what we'll say of all beings, to that activity, you wish the welfare of all beings. Because your activity includes what your wish is. Your wish is actually your activity. And your activity is your intention. If my body is doing some activity and there's no intention in there, no intention in that activity, the activity has no moral evolutionary impact. The world is not transformed significantly by activities I should say it's not transformed significantly for ill or good by activities that don't involve intention.

[68:35]

I'll take that back, too. The place where things can evolve positively is in the realm of intention. Other areas of activity, if you study them, they don't necessarily lead to positive evolution. So again, I mentioned the activity of your fingernail growing, if you meditate on that, it can really lead to clarification of your intentions and the elevation of your vows. But studying your intentions does. So in the midst of your activities, what is the intention there? Studying that is what I'm talking about. Paying attention to your actions is what's helpful. Not the action so much. The action on actions may seem helpful, but what's really helpful is the attention to the action.

[69:37]

A way to pay attention to your action is to look at your action as Buddha deportment, as an action which is occurring with the mindfulness, that's the way the action's occurring. And then there's what's going on in terms of all kinds of other agendas that coexist with every movement. Catherine? When you, I was just reading, you said that Buddha Dharma, as translated by Dogen, is the correct performance of one's monastic task. And then as you what that might mean, it seemed to me that that would include the correct or the

[70:48]

awareness to your intention and to your action, even if a mistake was, a so-called mistake occurred, as long as one's attention was still studying this unfolding, that would still be within the realm of the correct awareness of one's task? Yes. That you would be For example, you would be performing some activity, or there would be some activity happening, but you can ring bells at racetracks and you can ring bells in monasteries. So what makes it a monastic task? What makes it a monastic task is that you are aware of your intention when you ring the bell. So if you have a racetrack and you ring the bell,

[71:50]

for the welfare of all beings, and you ring the bell as Buddha deportment, and you ring the bell as the performance of the one task, in other words, the performance of the one task, the Buddha way, then that would be the Buddha way. That's how the Buddha way is transmitted, is by people at the racetrack ringing the bell as Buddha deportment. And if you're in a monastery and you're that way, you're not noticing that, then the Buddha Dharma is not being transmitted at that moment, on that occasion. Now, that would include that you be aware that you didn't really feel like you wanted this to be for the welfare of all beings. You could feel that way. At that time, strictly speaking, the Buddha Dharma is not being transmitted.

[72:53]

However, you are doing a practice by which the karmic obstructions to transmitting the Buddha Dharma will be removed. So when we are obstructed, when we don't see actually that what we're doing is for the welfare of all beings. When we don't see that, when we don't see how what we're doing is helping... The reason why we see that is because of karmic obstruction. We actually are, according to this type of teaching, we actually are living for the welfare of all beings. That's our actual life. That's our... Our Buddha activity is the way we are living for the welfare of all beings. Our Buddha activity is nothing other than how what we're doing is the performance of our monastic task.

[73:57]

In other words, the Buddha Dharma is the performance of being devoted to the welfare of all beings. That's the monastic task. That's the point of the monastery, is for this action to be realizing how we're helping all. If I don't see that, then I don't see that according to this text because of karmic hindrance. By confessing my karmic hindrance, before the Buddhas and exploring this hindered situation where I don't really see that what I'm doing is benefiting other people. And I also don't see that they're benefiting me and each other. I don't see that because of karmic hindrance. And where does karmic hindrance come from?

[74:57]

It comes from not paying attention to karma. So paying attention to karma is not, in some sense, sufficient to have the correct performance of monastic tasks. the correct performance of monastic tasks happens when you actually, at the same time that you're doing something, you see this is maintaining the Buddhadharma. You see that this act is an occasion where all beings are being benefited by this action, and all beings are benefiting the action. You see that. Until then, the way to remove the obstruction is to notice what you're doing now. Because as you notice what you're doing now, you start to remove the obstruction to reality. So you're doing the practice of not just mistakes, but when you notice that you don't think your mistakes are benefiting all beings.

[76:07]

Actually, the mistakes that the Dolans made are benefiting all beings, and all beings are helping the doans make their mistakes. That's what Buddha sees. Of course, Buddha has no problem devoting her life to doans who are making mistakes and doans who are not making mistakes, and all the people who support the doans, and all the people who the doans support. That's what the Buddhists see. And they see that because the karmic obstructions have been removed, and they've been removed current karma, current intention. I think Timo is next. Time to go? I'd like to tell that joke with two comments.

[77:08]

Because what I've told at the conclusion, it came up to me as a sentence, the children did for this, they come to me and they say, I don't practice, this is taught to find a good service, but only for the sake of Buddha Dharma or something like that. Yes. I wonder if you were suggesting before that people actively promote this thought to benefit others if it doesn't, if it isn't there automatically, or if you're looking, or if you just look inside yourself and see what invention you have, being a wholesome or unwholesome, but not actively promoting or benefiting others. You raised a lot of stuff there. He said that he read something where Dogen said, don't even practice for the welfare of others, just practice for the sake of the practice.

[78:15]

Dogen said, don't practice for the welfare of others, just practice for the sake of the practice. But also he said, I, Dogen, practice for the welfare of others. And he said, I vow. with everybody to hear the true Dharma. He said that too. So when he says, he probably was talking to some monk who was practicing for the welfare of others, the monk said, you know. But he felt like the guy was a little off, so he said, don't practice for the welfare of others, just practice for the sake of the Dharma. But what I'm suggesting now, what I'm trying to draw your attention to is what you're up to. right now. And now. What's your question? The question was that one should promote actively the

[79:19]

practicing for the benefit of others. Or when you just look at the intention, but not put something on top of it, like a toilet. Oh, I'm going to the toilet for the benefit of others. Can we handle the first question first? You said a or, right? You said, should one do this or something else? Can we do one at a time? First you said, I think you said, should one practice with the intention to benefit others? With the thought? Now, do you mean practice with the thought to benefit others, but not the intention to benefit others? Yeah, for me it is somehow not exactly the same. No, it is. It could be like I have this thought to benefit others, but I actually have an intention to harm them.

[80:22]

Yeah. So you're asking if you should do that? Yeah. It might be useful. That's kind of what Gary's question was, in a way. Should you go around, carry the thought around benefiting others while actually you don't want to? That's kind of an interesting practice. But it's said here that if bodhisattvas want to purify their intention or their karma, they should intend or they should wish, when they're doing X, they should wish that people will be well. So, but the thinking that way And intending that way would be simultaneous in that case, if you actually would vow and pray for welfare of people no matter what you're doing. Now, to have the thought of benefiting them without wishing that it would be so, that can be the case.

[81:29]

Like somebody can hear, like you could be standing around wishing that somebody would be ill, and somebody could walk up and say, I wish they would be well. You say, oh, that's an interesting idea. I'm not into that. I think that's really stupid to wish them well, because it's actually better to wish them ill. And I do wish them ill. So that's an interesting pattern, and some people do have patterns like that. They hear about being kind to certain groups of people that they don't want to be kind to. That can happen, that pattern. I don't particularly recommend that one way or the other. What I'm recommending is be aware of what the pattern is. The most important thing, I think, is to be aware of what pattern is actually going on in you. But I also mention that if you want, the way that you'll be purified is when the pattern inside is that actually you are wishing the welfare of other people, all of the beings that you are wishing that no matter what you're doing, at that point the purification is really and tremendous amounts of other helpful stuff will start happening.

[82:46]

But to get to that point, you may have to look inside and see there is not wishing welfare of people right now. I think The first step in this meditation is to be aware of what you're doing now. And then, if you are aware, you will hear me say stuff like, intending the welfare of others. And then you can look inside and see if there's anything like that inside you. And if there isn't, that's kind of interesting. So I'm actually bringing this up partly to enrich your inner exploration. But the most important thing is that you and I give close attention to our moment-by-moment shape of consciousness, our moment-by-moment intention. And then if you're tuned into that station of checking out, being aware of what you're doing,

[83:49]

I say you're doing, but really you're not doing it. It's just there's you who has an activity, a conscious is with you every moment. And I'm saying, please take care of that and know about that and bring that out. And then I and other people will be, and you also will be saying things like, I vow to hear the true Dharma. You'll be saying that and you'll be looking inside to see, does that actually live inside? And you might not be able to find it at first. What you might find is just confusion. But the more you become familiar with your inner confusion, with or without hearing this language, I vow to hear the true Dharma, the more you become aware of your inner confusion, the more you're going to discover there is a desire in there to hear the true Dharma.

[84:51]

But without checking out inwardly, you may not find it as actual dharma. Plus also, if we don't check out the inner karma, there will be continual production of karmic obstructions to hearing the true dharma. Does that answer your question at all? Yeah, actually it wasn't complicating so much on the point. I feel that if I add these thoughts of making practice or the benefit of all things, that somehow in myself even more complicated than just looking like what you suggested now mainly at what happens inside of me. Okay, so... I understand that if you add that, it would make it more complicated because you just put more ingredients into the thing.

[85:56]

But what I guess what I should say is that, I guess what I would say actually is, number one, settle the self on the self. And for most people, maybe in the zendo, it's probably good for you to practice tranquility practice. But then we have lots of activities here at Zen Mountain Center. You don't just sit in the zendo and do ki-hi. serve each other, work, walk around, meet each other. Many times a day we have all these other activities. In those cases, every moment, every meeting between you and somebody else, there's an intention there. So practice tranquility when you're sitting still. And then the rest of the day, if you feel calm enough, look inside and see what's going on. Now, if I say that the sutra says, or Dogen says, that if you want to purify your karma, also the way to do it would be to have these wishes.

[87:05]

I'm saying that to you who's already looking inside, I hope. So if you're not already looking inside and you hear me say that, I don't think it's going to work very well. to hear me say that. But if you're already looking inside at what you're up to, and then you hear somebody say, if you bodhisattvas wish such and such, you hear that, and that just becomes part of the pattern. It isn't that you have to put that in there. As soon as you hear it, it's part of the pattern. and being part of the pattern, it's part of what you're doing. When I say to you, bodhisattva's being blah blah, when they're doing, when they're walking down the street, when they meet another monk, when they bow to another monk, they wish that all sentient beings will meet Buddha face to face.

[88:12]

I say that to you, and when I say that to you, that is just contributing to your state of consciousness. That's what you should be looking at. Now, if you think of these things or you read about these things, when you do that, at that time there's some activity right at that moment, which I'm saying, look at that. Don't add anything to the activity because you can't add anything to the activity because your activity is the pattern of everything that's happening in the moment for you. Does that make better sense? Yes. There are lots of books, teachers out there who seem to say, just seeing ill will, for example, may not be enough. Here's a strategy, a particular guided meditation, a slogan, strategy, whatever, to actually change the habit pattern of response. Are these distractions?

[89:18]

You mean, you look inside and you find ill will, and then you might hear about practicing loving-kindness? Right. Okay? Okay, so now you're feeling some ill will and you're considering practicing loving-kindness, all right? Okay? Well, I'm considering doing the practice which is called the practice of loving kindness, which is... Yes. So now here you are noticing some ill will and considering doing a practice called loving kindness. Is that right? That's right. So that's an example. And I'm saying, pay attention to that. That's the most important thing. Because that's what's happening now. And if you give close attention to that, things will get clear. That's what I'm saying. Now, you may think that a similar kind of pattern may arise in another moment, which has those two elements in it of noticing that there's ill will and an interest in practicing loving-kindness.

[90:33]

And then there may be noticing ill will and practicing loving-kindness. In fact, practicing loving-kindness is part of what you're up to at that moment. And then maybe practicing loving-kindness and not really much ill-will at a certain point, but you still go ahead and practice it. You might even practice it even if there wasn't ill-will. Does that make sense? But you're paying attention to that. That's actually what you're doing at the moment. That's what your action is at the moment. And the more you do that, the more these patterns of consciousness will evolve positively. And also the more you do it, the more you observe these patterns of karma, the more your observing equipment will drop away. And you'll start to see more clearly the nature of ill will, good will, loving-kindness. You'll start to see the nature of these things. You'll gradually see how these things are.

[91:34]

by studying action. By studying action you will see the emptiness of everything. If you don't study action, like for example, if you have ill will and then you Try to practice loving-kindness, but don't notice your activity at that time. And not noticing the activity of practicing loving-kindness will cause reductions to seeing the nature of loving-kindness and everything else. So a key ingredient is to be aware while you're doing even a good practice like loving-kindness, or even a mindful practice like noticing ill will. noticing ill will is pretty good. Noticing loving-kindness is pretty good. Loving-kindness practice is pretty good. But the most important thing is to notice what your action is, which is the totality that you can see about what you're up to at the time.

[92:37]

Overlooking that creates blinding. Seeing that clears your vision. So what I'm saying doesn't contradict any practices that anybody's doing. Even if people would tell you to practice ill-will and you would say, I think maybe I will. I don't have to try it out. So, you know, the instructions about how to generate ill-will for people who don't know how to do it. I don't think that's a particularly good thing to do, but if you were doing that and you would be aware of what you were doing, you would eventually understand that all five aggregates are empty. So whatever you're doing, whatever instructions you're considering doing, or you're accepting doing, or you're telling other people to do, or that you don't think you should do, whatever you're doing, whatever your action is, pay attention to it.

[93:39]

What I'm suggesting is the most important thing in the practice today. Yes? But we're also saying pay attention to it within a context, the frame, and that with the monastic activity, everything that we hear is a monastic activity. So we've already, for instance, taken vows, many of us. So we already have that, our life in a particular way where we're thinking about other beings all the time in our ceremonies. We already have that in our mind and in our hearts. So for me, I have to sit at a table, say, like, for example, to eat. part of the practice for me and usually I don't have to move the tables often if I have that to do here.

[94:47]

And so I'm always moving the furniture. And so while I'm moving the furniture, the first week was kind of like I was moving furniture. And then it sort of moved into I have a way that doesn't create chaos in some way, not only for myself but for the whole environment. And then Even in that, so I'm not like intentionally saying I'm going to make sure it's all great for everybody around me and make sure everybody's well. I already have that vibe. I already made that vibe. So as I move in my monastic practice here, everything I do, even just moving the table, I'm having that intentional practice. of those vows to do things in a certain way. In that process, there has been some thinking, like, gee, I wish I were 16.

[95:50]

I should have taken care of myself better. Why do I have to move the table? You know, so I'm aware of those kind of thoughts that come up with me. Or thinking you know, built that way, those things come up. So I'm aware and thinking that thinking that's going on, but at the same time, there's the monastic activity, and the activity is going on within the framework of the vow to live this life. That's how I understand it. I kind of feel like he missed the point. The point is, the most important point is watching what you're doing now. That's the monastic activity. The monastic activity is not moving the table or not moving the table.

[96:52]

The monastic activity isn't, isn't, you know, opening the orioke or Zen texts. It isn't even those vows. It isn't even those vows you told me about. That isn't the monastic activity. The monastic activity is giving close attention to what you're doing. That's the monastic activity. So you may, at the time you made those vows, Paying attention to the vows that you're making was, is the monastic activity. Receive the Bodhisattva precepts. They verbally express the vows. And there is perhaps an intention when they say these vows. There is an intention which accords with the language.

[97:52]

Okay? The meditation which I'm recommending is that you be aware of what your activity is. So if you're moving the table, that you're aware that you're intending to move the table, which includes thinking, I wish I was 16. That's part of the pattern. One time you move the table, you're intending to move it, and you don't think, I wish I was 16. Sometimes you move the table and you just move the table. But you notice There is the activity of moving this table. There is the intention to move this table. And there is a pattern of relationship between me, the table, and the activity. And I see that right now. It's there. You do see yourself that way, but do you notice it? Do you say, I see how I see myself as so-called being the only one? Do you see that?

[98:55]

Exactly. Are you giving close attention to the way you see yourself moment by moment in this community? You are in this community, you have a relationship, and your relationship and the way you see it is your activity. Do you attend to it? The monastic activity, I'm saying, is the attention. what we're doing. We're active all day long and people all over the world are active all day long. What's rare is that people are paying attention to their action. And because people who are active all over the world, moment by moment, people with various vows, some people don't. Everybody has some kind of vow. But anyway, people, they have these particular bodhisattva vows, yes. Now, right now, what's my activity? That's the monastic, that's the thing that the whatever you are.

[100:03]

That's why I said the person at the racetrack ringing the bell, if that person is ringing the bell and watching his activity while he's doing that, he's doing a monastic activity. And if we're here, walking down the path, meeting each other and bowing to each other, and not noticing, active beings at that time, not noticing, then we're not doing our monastic activity. And if I'm thinking about what I'm going to feel, seeing what I'm feeling? You're still not noticing necessarily. No, you might be, but you could be thinking about what you're doing is synonymous when you think about what you're doing, that's completely included in your activity, because activity is basically fundamentally thinking. Synonymous. If you're aware of what you're thinking, then I'm saying now you're paying attention to what needs to be done in order for the obstructions to hearing the Dharma to be removed.

[101:06]

Every time We miss the chance to notice what we're thinking. We just miss the chance to perform our activity properly. So again, if you serve, people have been serving lunch, it's been very nice, thank you very much. Breakfast and dinner, the service has been very good, but have you, have the people been attending to their action moment by moment? And if they have not, been doing their monastic activity properly. And again, if you put it positively, if you do do it properly, you will come to be able to see how you, in your activity, which is monastic because you've been studying it, how you are benefiting all beings and how all beings are benefiting you. The eyes will open to this. vision of interdependence.

[102:12]

If you study, for example, if you study many moments of not feeling interdependent, many moments of thinking that you're not interdependent and that you're acting on your own and separate from other people, or that you're acting on your own, separate from other people, but for people's welfare, whatever you're up to, if you notice that repeatedly, your vision will clear and you will see the self-fulfilling samadhi. That's the monastic activity, and the proper performance of it is the Buddhadharma. Because the Buddhadharma is the practice. Practicing the Buddhadharma is what eventually makes it so we see what's going on. And then we continue the practice. But now our action has now been guided and is infused with wisdom. Our view of what we're doing. our view of our relationship with beings has changed, therefore our action has changed into enlightened activity.

[103:19]

That's the big difference. So no matter what we're doing, moving chairs are not, moving tables are not, no matter what you're doing, you're active. You're always active. are you paying close attention to it? If you are, that's the monastic activity. The monastic activity is activity which is attended to with hopefully the understanding that you are performing, that you're doing your job. You don't have to say that, but... Hey, I'm actually paying attention to what I'm doing. I heard... I heard I'm supposed to do this and I'm actually paying attention. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And really that's your job in terms of paying close attention to all your activities, which again is translated as practice intimately returning to where you are.

[104:39]

The way to put it, that way of putting it doesn't mention that where you are is an active place. You're at an active place. You're an active place. Yes, and yes. Where you are... can include sometimes prejudice. Yeah. And one, I thought I heard yesterday when talking about chaitanya, one description or one word was judgment. And I think you said, I don't agree with that. Do you remember that? Yeah, I think that judgment is not inclusive enough. I think it's more like an element. Prejudice and chaitanya, what would be the relationship between those? Well, for example, I could see myself in a relationship to you, and I might notice that I have an idea about you, and that's part of, like I said, separate from me, and I want to avoid you.

[105:48]

But wanting to avoid you is not really a judgment. However, it's connected to the fact that I see you as separate from me or as not my friend. I judge you as not my friend. You know, not in the same school of Buddhism as me or something, so I want to avoid you. That's my judgment. But avoiding people isn't really a judgment. Chaitanya includes that I see you as separate, I see you as not my friend, and that I want to avoid you. All that is my activity. My activity isn't just judging you as not my friend. Also, I might feel pain or I might even feel pleasure at the moment of feeling separate from you. The pleasure is also part of the chetana, is part of the activity. So my activity is this whole pattern of feelings unpleasant, feelings unpleasant, getting away from you and judging you as separate and not my friend. Plus a lot of other things could be going on. The whole pattern is my activity.

[106:50]

My activity is the total activity of the moment. So it's just not, you know, that includes all of those things. Yeah, Chaitanya is, Chaitanya actually, in the early Abhidharma discussions, they said, why have Chaitanya be a separate thing? Because it's really just the total pattern. Why call that an additional thing? So it includes judgment, feeling, various kinds of emotions, and so on and so forth. ...picture of the moment, of the shape of the moment. And sometimes that picture is very confused and not clear. Well, but that's what you see, it's not clear. Sometimes it's very clear, this way or that way. Is it time to stop? Right now. Oh, yeah. Okay. Joan, did you have something? I was just thinking about you, Kai. You were talking about me. Thinking about you, Kai, go ahead. He said, he heard the teacher say that the Buddha dharma is transmitted by our teacher is the correct performance of one's monastic tasks.

[108:01]

And I'm suggesting the correct performance of it is to be aware, moment by moment, of what your activity is. That's the Buddhadharma. And then he said, even though I heard that Buddhadharma is the, even though I heard that Buddhist or Buddha's deportment is the Buddha way, or that, you know, In my heart, I privately felt that the true Buddhism must be something outside of just proper performance of monastic tasks. He felt there must be something more to it. It just seemed too incomplete or too focused or whatever. And then he says later, I now know that monastic

[109:20]

ritual and deportment themselves are the true Buddha way. So again, walking around the monastery as a ceremony, walking to the baths as a ceremony, walking to work meeting as a ceremony, as a ritual, as a department of Buddha, that is the Buddha way. And there's nothing more than that. But that includes every step you're aware of what you're up to. It isn't that you're walking as the Buddha way and not paying attention to what you're up to. Yes? So the mystique? was that as long as he executed his function correctly, he thought he did well.

[110:27]

Excuse me there. Gikai performed his functions really well. Just like, again, the serving has been good. You're performing your . The food has been good. But do you think that there's something more to Buddhism then the activity that you're doing right there, do you think there's something more to it? And most people do. They don't see that performing that properly is all of Buddhism, all of the Buddha way. He thought there was something more to it. So what was he doing? That seems to be the correct interpretation, but at some point he wouldn't have that? When the grandmother was... Yeah, he said, he says, now I know ritual and deportment themselves are the true Buddha way. He knew that after Dogen died, he said that. When Dogen was alive, he was a great student and Dogen loved him and was just about ready to give him Dharma transmission.

[111:34]

But this great student was sitting there thinking, Dogen is saying, deportment is the Buddha way. Making every act a ritual, making every act the enactment of Buddha way. That's the Buddha way. And he thought there must be something more to it. He just didn't believe it. Right in Dogen's face, and Dogen says, you don't have grandmother mind. Though you can see he didn't believe it, even though he was a great tinsel. It's interesting how grandmotherly mind allowed him to make that jump. Yeah. Why is it for grandmotherly mind? Do you... I think it's called that because it's sometimes also called parental.

[112:45]

When you have a child, it's easy to always think about them. Am I supposed to be thinking about something? Oh yeah, my children. So it's easy to think about them and it's easy to think of giving them whatever they need and having no problem about keeping something for yourself. If they're cold, you're happy to give them your clothes and so on. It's easy. So it would be the same thing for the Buddhadharma. That, like, you're along the road and you don't have to say, is there anything missing? Oh yeah, Buddhadharma. Grandmotherly mind means, it's kind of like, Buddha Dharma, Buddha Dharma, Buddha Dharma, Buddha Dharma. Or, you know, Buddha, Buddha, Buddha. Or, for the welfare of all beings, for the welfare of all beings, for the welfare of all beings. It's like that.

[113:46]

You don't have to, when you have ground in mind, you don't have to remember that. You just naturally raise your hand. Yes. Time to stop. And it's time to stop. It's like that. Like that all the time. Grandmother in mind, you wouldn't have trouble with that. But you have to look inside to make sure your grandmother in mind is turned on. And if it's not, And you're doing the proper job because you're looking to see there ain't no grandmother mind here. This isn't Buddha Dharma. I just want to like blah, blah. Attending to that will remove the hindrance of the Buddha mind.

[114:41]

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