I begin with the question, what is the point? What is the point of Buddha's way or Buddha way? What is the point of this Zen center? What is the point of spending this day together sitting or working in the kitchen? What is the point of human life?

[01:05]

I sincerely hope that each of you find your own personal answer to that question, to this question. In the next few minutes I'd like to, I actually would like to tell you what I think what I've heard, what I understand has been and always will be the point of human life for what we call Buddha ancestors. But when I tell you what the point of life for them is, I hope you can listen to it without

[02:28]

losing track of what you think the point of life is. And if you think that life is some other point from what they think it's about, I hope you can be honest and say, well, for me it's a little different, if it is. Because as you just chanted, Before Buddhas were enlightened, they were just like us, just like you. Before Buddhas were just like Buddhas, maybe they were a little different. Maybe the way they felt about things was a little different. We have to be honest about who we are. They were honest about who they were before they were Buddhas, and while they were Buddhas, and after they were Buddhas.

[03:31]

At least that's what I heard. As Buddhas, they said the point of it all, the point of Zen, the point of Buddhist practice, is just to set all living beings free, just to set them completely free from all limitation, all suffering. To pull out the nails and melt the glue, to unpack the saddlebags. and so on. That's the only point of the Buddha ancestors' practice and life.

[04:35]

This is their happiness, this is their wisdom and compassion. To carry all beings to the other shore, to carry them across from the world of cyclic misery to the world of non-degenerative bliss. to carry them, to transport them from the world of selfishness to the world of selflessness. And that might sound like they pick these people up and carry them over and the people don't have to work.

[05:54]

Sometimes they even have been known to kick them in the rear. But people aren't billiard balls. If you kick them in the rear, they don't have to move. They move a little bit, of course. But if they get up and walk across to the other shore, it's on their own power that they do that, or not their own power, but their own life. It's not just a mechanical effect of getting kicked in the butt. So sometimes the way Buddhas get people across, get them out of selfishness is by a kick, sometimes by just a touch, sometimes by a word, sometimes by a wink. So they do something to these people and then the people jump out of selfishness into unselfishness. Sometimes there's a period of transition

[06:57]

between when they jump out of selfishness and when they find their new life of selflessness. Sometimes it doesn't happen completely like that. But when you drop your selfishness, that can happen right away. It's like I heard the example of when a snake molts. I heard this. I don't know if this is true, but when a snake molts, they let their skin drop off, that they're sort of irritable for a while. raw flesh exposed, 360 degrees of exposure of raw, tender flesh. They also are blind and, of course, very vulnerable. But as they say, who cares? You don't care anymore, even though you're irritable. some adjustment problems, but you can't remember who's adjusting. Anyway, I didn't mean to get into the transition.

[08:00]

Today I'm just talking about molting. They say that there's one a great condition for the appearance of the Buddhas in this world of suffering. And that is the desire to open people's eyes and ears, to open people to Buddha's wisdom and knowledge, and to show, to demonstrate Buddha's wisdom and knowledge. to beings and to help beings awaken to Buddha's wisdom and knowledge and help people actually enter Buddhism's wisdom and knowledge. This is the same as what I said before, to set people free, to set all beings free.

[09:09]

That's the one, that's the major condition. It's the indispensable condition. There's other conditions too for Buddhas to appear in the world. They actually enjoy coming into the world of suffering because they're so happy to help suffering beings. So how? How? How can a living being In other words, how can a living being appear in this world and benefit and help to liberate all beings?

[10:15]

How? The way of answering this question is unlimited. And what is said is not it, but simply a response to the question. How can you liberate all beings? How can you help all beings realize enlightenment? This morning, to start off with, I would say by practicing pure presence. By presence. Presence is how. beings are liberated.

[11:22]

If you want to liberate all beings, realize presence and let this presence enlighten all beings, which will be their presence, which will then enlighten all beings. But of course presence doesn't belong to anybody. Today is, if you excuse me for saying so, a good day to settle into pure presence and work to save all beings. It's a good day to clarify presence.

[12:29]

It's a good day to deepen the faith in the liberative function of presence by enjoying joining the practice of presence, moment by moment. So I'm dedicating my life to joining and deepening faith in pure presence in order to liberate beings.

[13:50]

And so I also am mentioning that to you. Do you want to hear more about how to practice pure presence? Okay. Well, let me know when you want me to stop. The other night in San Francisco we studied a story of the great Master Ma. When he was unwell, When he was dying, the director of the monastery came to visit and said, Teacher, how is your venerable health in recent days? And Master Ma said, Sun face Buddha, moon face Buddha.

[14:58]

I asked the people in the class if there was a Buddha in the building that we were in, or now if there's a Buddha in this valley, a sick Buddha, a Buddha just about ready to die, and it turns out that the Buddha is really sick and about to die, but the Buddha will let you come and be close to her. He will let you come into his room and be with him if you want to. You have this chance not much longer to be around, but today or even this morning you could go visit the Buddha and spend a little time with the Buddha. Buddha has an attendant, you can't just sit around and, you know, chat indefinitely. Just something short, something, if you just have a minute or so, or less, what would you want to say to the Buddha?

[16:10]

What would you want to ask the Buddha? If you could visit the Buddha just for a little while, what would you want to say? I asked them. And then I asked one of them to be the Buddha and lie down in the Buddha hall. I could have done it myself since I was playing the role of the teacher, but I thought it might be hard for them to come and talk to me because maybe some of them are afraid of me. They think he's not that sick. So some other people came up, some other person came up.

[17:11]

First, actually, first a woman came up, then a woman came up, then a woman came up, and finally a man came up. Anyway, people took turns being the great Master Ma, the Buddha, sick, reclining in the Buddha Hall. The first woman came up and laid down, And she laid on her back, but I said, no, that's not Buddha's posture. So I showed her the traditional, the way Buddha laid down on his right side. So she laid on her right side, and people came up and talked to her one by one. And I was happy to see it. Mostly men came up to see her. And then I asked her to give somebody else a chance to be Buddha, and it was hard to get her to give it up.

[18:17]

She did a really good job, but anyway, I wanted somebody else to have a chance. I had to ask her several times to go, and finally she did. And then another person, another woman came up and was Buddha. And again, one after one, mostly men came up to see her. And then I asked another woman too, and again people came up. And then some women started coming up. And finally a man came up and was Buddha. And people came up and talked to him. I think some people, I'm not sure, but I think some people thought it was kind of boring. just to have this kind of quiet person lying there on the floor. But I thought I was really proud of the people because they both had the courage to be Buddha and visit Buddha. It's hard to be Buddha sometimes, in a way, and it's hard to visit Buddha.

[19:26]

Some people, if they had a chance to visit Buddha, would pass, pass up the chance. And I know sometimes the reason why they pass up is because they're afraid of Buddha, because they know that when they sometimes are with someone they really respect, someone they really think is kind and selfless, that that makes them feel selfish. Their selfishness comes to the surface when they're visiting somebody they think is selfless. And it's so painful. And they also think that person probably can see their selfishness. So it's a bad combination to be exposed and then witnessed by somebody who you really respect, right? So some people would pass. And I mentioned too, you know, that, you know, right in that building, right above that Buddha hall where Suzuki Roshi used to live when he was sick, he would say to me sometimes, where's so-and-so?

[20:34]

You know, he wanted, when he was sick, he wanted his students to come and visit him. And I used to think, God, where are these people? How could they? Suzuki Roshi wants to see them and they aren't even here. They're so lucky that he even thinks of them. Not to mention he'd like to see them and talk to them and they don't even want to be here or whatever. Anyway, they weren't there. I couldn't believe it. Missing such an opportunity. Can you imagine? Can you imagine? If you had a chance. Actually, all of you were alive at that time, but you didn't know. Well, maybe some of you weren't even alive then, actually. That's right. Some of you maybe were old people then. Like maybe you were an old woman, Hamilton. But anyway, probably a lot of you were in the country at the time. And he was there, and some of you got to see him, and some of you didn't.

[21:39]

But anyway, he wanted to see you, and some people didn't come. So think about that. Would you, if you had a chance to see, if Shakyamuni Buddha was here, if you had a chance to have a short meeting, would you go? Would you go? Or would you be feeling, oh, jeez. I'm not up to it. I'm not worthy. I'm not worthy to be here. There is that feeling, I'm not worthy to be here. Anyway, the people came up, and they came up and they talked to the sick Buddha very respectfully, very kindly, and very lively.

[22:54]

And I was very proud of them, if you'll excuse me for saying so, very proud. I had a good seat, so it was easy for me to hear what they said. Anyway, at the end of the class I said, please, you know, consider continuing this practice of being Buddha and going to visit Buddha. Being Buddha is partly like feeling like you're Buddha. Okay, I'm Buddha, or this is Buddha, or that's part of maybe what it's like to be Buddha. But actually, Buddhas don't necessarily sit around thinking, I'm Buddha, I'm Buddha, I'm Buddha. To be Buddha means to just be completely present.

[23:57]

To be Buddha is not to be partly present. It's to be completely present Now if you're partly present right now, if I'm partly present right now, that's not the Buddha part. The Buddha part is that me sitting here, perhaps being partly present, somebody else is completely present here. Right in the middle of my partial presence, there's complete presence. When I'm partly present, there's some pain. In the middle of that pain is the Buddha, completely present. In the middle of the pain of not being fully here is your Buddha nature. Perfect, full presence.

[25:03]

And also to go visit that Buddha. So there's both being Buddha and visiting Buddha. There's both being Buddha, host, being the host or hostess, and there's being the guest. Go visit Buddha. It's dynamic. You are and you are not Buddha. You is and is not Buddha. Buddha transcends you and other. So do both. at the same time by pure presence. This is a good day for such a practice. I think it's a good day. And if you practice that way starting right now or any time today, it's kind of like visiting Suzuki Roshi.

[26:11]

Because that's what he would like you to do. That's what he would hope for you, is that you could completely be present with your life. then his life would not have been lived in vain if you practiced that way. He doesn't get credit for your practice of pure presence. You don't get credit for your pure practice of presence. It's just that everybody becomes free by such a practice. That seems good enough to me. Although you don't get credit, somebody might give you credit. Sorry. During that class, one of the people came up to Buddha, actually more than one person came up to the Buddha, the dying Buddha, the sick Buddha, and said, how can I help you?

[27:23]

What can I do for you? So this morning someone came to me and said, how can I help you? What do you think I said? Give me money, right? Now what do you think I said? What? Be present. It's close. Very close. Practice pure presence, I said. Be present. Practice pure presence, I said. Or did you say be present? Actually, that was right. You're right. I said be present. And then after a little while, I said, are you? And she said, no.

[28:24]

No. You know, I sometimes ask people that question, and sometimes they do say no. And I never think they're lying when they say no. And sometimes they say yes, and I don't think they're lying when they say yes. I feel like usually they tell me the truth, and sometimes they say yes, and sometimes they say no. When they say no, I sometimes ask them again, and sometimes they say again no. And sometimes I ask him again and again, and finally they say yes. And it's true. And then I sometimes ask him again, and they say no, and it's true. So I said, are you present? He said no. And then he said, before I had a chance to ask him again, he said, but I want to be. So he says, how can I help you?

[29:31]

I say, be present. Are you? He says, no, but I want to be. And I say, that's helpful. If you want to help me, be present. If you don't want to help me, don't be present. This is a problem. Some of you might not want to help me, so I don't want you to not be present just to not help me. Please help me. Even if you don't like me, please help me by being present. And it's not just help me. Please help all beings. Please help your mother. Please help your father. Please help your relatives, your spouse, your children. Please help all beings by being present. It would be a big help. And even if you can't be and say yes to the question, If you want to be, that's also helpful. It's more helpful if you are, but it's also helpful if you just want to be.

[30:35]

Like I said, today's a day to deepen, could be a day to deepen your confidence, your faith in the helpfulness of being present. If you have any doubt about being present, Today's a day to become free of your doubt by practicing it. If you practice it, you'll gradually lose your doubt in presence. I never heard of anybody who regretted being present and didn't feel it was helpful. Of course, I don't get around much. Maybe there are some people. pure, simple presence. Sometimes in Zen we say, know this or know that.

[31:46]

But no doesn't mean no like there isn't any. No means usually give it up. So, how to practice pure presence. Some, you know, more color in the picture of color in the story of how to practice pure presence. So, no picking and choosing. No picking and choosing doesn't mean there's no picking and choosing. It means you give up picking and choosing. No past and future. Of course, there's past and future. It doesn't mean there isn't any. It means you give it up. I say on behalf of those who love you that here, in this practice place, it's okay for you to give up past and future.

[33:03]

You can give it up. Let go of it today. Maybe when you leave this valley and go back home, somebody will tell you, no, you can't give it up. But right now I say you can give it up. That will be very helpful. You will be more helpful if you give it up than if you hold on to it. If you can learn to give it up, you can teach others to give it up. And they will be helped by that. People that are involved, who are caught, who are attached to past and future, are miserable. People who are attached to past and future are miserable. That's my observation. If you have some counter examples, please, I'd like to hear about it.

[34:11]

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe there are some people who are attached to those things and are happy. I haven't seen it. The people I've seen who are happy are those who let go of it. And when you let go of past and future, then past and future are wonderful flowers, wonderful fruits, wonderful tools that you can play with to help people. As soon as you let go of them, they fill your hands, but then instead of being burdens and afflictions, past and future are wonderful material to play with people, to play past and future games. As Kazon said, don't hope for enlightenment on another day. Just look within your own heart and examine carefully.

[35:27]

But I want to grow. I want to grow. I want to develop. I want to become better. That's fine. You can want those things. You can want to grow. It's okay. That sounds like a healthy thing. I mean, if you mean by growth, spiritual growth rather than just material growth or gaining weight. I want to grow spiritually. I want to grow in compassion. I want to grow in wisdom. Sounds good. But if you give up that desire to grow, you immediately grow. If you hold on to that desire to grow, you work against wisdom and compassion. Have any desires? Fine. No problem. Want to help people? Let go of them. Buddhas want to help people and they let go of their desire to help people and they help people.

[36:59]

Buddhas can't help letting go of things and therefore they can't help but be useful. Poor things, they're just, you know, our servants. People go visit the Buddha, they feel unworthy, they feel self-doubt, sometimes. Give up your feeling of unworthiness. Don't reject it. Don't spit on it. Don't throw it away. Respect your feelings of unworthiness.

[38:06]

but give them up. The most respectful way to treat your feelings of unworthiness is to give them up. Sometimes people go visit Buddha and feel pride. Hey, I got an appointment. This must mean something. Can you believe it? Some people feel proud of themselves that they get an appointment with the Buddha. think they're better than the people who don't have appointments with Buddha. Isn't that amazing? I'd seen that. It's great. When I was a young monk at Tassajara, some people would go in and visit the teacher. Suzuki Roshi or some visiting teachers. And... Some people would be waiting and they would notice how long so-and-so was in there talking to the teacher.

[39:14]

And one of the people said to me, God, he was in there for an hour. How could he talk to him that long? I can't talk to him that long. I'm going to try. They really tried to get in there and talk to him as long as the previous person because it seemed like really quite a feat. This particular person was a person who didn't speak English, so it was a little bit more difficult than usual because you'd say it and then you'd hear it get translated in English back in Japanese and then back into English. So actually even a short question would take quite a while. But still, most people were very quick because they couldn't think of anything to say to this person. But this competitive feeling came up among some people.

[40:15]

I don't think it's self-doubt or self-pride that's the issue. I mean, those are the issues, but that's not the way. The way is not self-pride or self-doubt. Those are just issues that are arising. Feel a little bit of self-doubt or a lot of self-doubt, a little bit of self-pride, a lot of self-pride. How about feeling not even a little self-pride and not even a little self-doubt? Wouldn't that be something? If you ever get in a place like that, I would say, wow, amazing. Not even a little, either one of those. Not a little bit leaning towards, no, I'm not quite good as Buddha. I'm actually just about as good as Buddha. Not the slightest leaning on those issues. That would be amazing. But even if there is a little bit or a lot of leaning into self-doubt or self-pride, even if there is, trusting presence is the way.

[42:07]

If you're feeling self-doubt, trust presence with your self-doubt. If you're feeling self-pride, trust presence with your self-pride. Now, again, people think, oh, if I feel self-pride, I shouldn't be present with that. I should try to get rid of that. What if they catch me? Presence with the self-pride is not self-pride. It's just not running away from your arrogance. Arrogance is intimately related to self-doubt and self-contempt. We can't stand our feelings of insecurity and unworthiness, so we become proud. We can't stand our pride because we feel we're going to get in trouble for it, so we switch over to being self-doubting and self-contemptuous because usually people don't criticize us for being self-contemptuous. They say, well, at least you're humble.

[43:10]

So it seems safer to be in the realm of hating ourselves and thinking badly of ourselves and feeling unworthy because at least we're in control of the punishment. Whereas if you have self-pride, the other people will take over the punishment. We're in control. And most people switch back and forth according to the circumstances. But whether you're a switcher or a specialist Presence with what you're up to. Presence with coughing, with yawning, with wiggling, with pride, with whatever. Presence. That doesn't say, oh, self-doubt's okay, self-doubt's bad, self-pride's good, self... No, that's more of the same. Just call a spade a spade, a heart a heart. a diamond, a diamond, a club, a club. That's it. Not even call it that.

[44:15]

Just witness that somebody's calling it that. There's a Zen expression. Deeply trust yourself, or actually, deeply trust self. Deep trust self. That doesn't mean be arrogant. It doesn't mean be humble. It doesn't mean trust the self even. It means trust deeply what's happening. Not that the self deserves your trust, but that everything deserves your trust. But not because it deserves it, but because trusting deeply what's happening is what's helpful. Now I ask you, are you ready Are you ready to live your life? Do you want to live your life completely?

[45:29]

Do you want to be present moment by moment for your life and benefit all beings? Now I ask you another hard one. Are you ready to give up picking and choosing? Tough one, huh? Are you ready to give up picking and choosing? Are you ready to give up past and future? Are you ready to let go of self-pride and self-doubt? And if you can't but want to, well, that's good.

[46:45]

If you don't feel ready but want to be ready, that's good, I'd say. What about if you don't know? What do you mean, don't know? If you don't know, if you don't know if you want to give up past and future? Well, then that's like that. You want to give up past and future and you say, I don't know. If that's the case, then you say, I don't know. That's where you're at. Okay? That thing honest about you don't know.

[47:45]

Do you want to give up past and future? Then if you're about to say, what happens in your heart when you hear that question? Is there some fear of what would happen if you gave up past and future? That's exactly holding on to future, that fear. That's exactly what it is. Then if you, if you listen to Buddha who says you can, you can be here, you don't have to be there, you can actually be here, Now just try, just let go of the future for just a second and watch what happens to the fear when you actually let go of it. Notice the fear go away. And then if you think of the fear again, think of the future again, watch the fear come back.

[48:58]

We are afraid to live without fear. We think something terrible will happen to us if we aren't afraid. We think the world will say, oh, you're not afraid, huh? Okay, well, how about this? And you say, okay, just kidding, just kidding. Okay, fine, fine. I'll be afraid. We think that. Actually, it doesn't happen that way. The world says, thank you. Thank you for being willing to live here. We need Buddhas here. We need somebody who's willing to live here rather than there. We've got lots of people who are living there who are scared to death because they're living there. I'm glad somebody's willing to be here. And the Buddhas also say, please come here. And if you say, I don't know, Buddha says, okay, but you're still invited.

[50:06]

When you can come, please do. Come here. Not come there, come here. So again, I say today's a good day to practice being here, giving up past and future, giving up picking and choosing, and see If you believe it's okay, if you believe you're allowed to be here and forget about past and future, and picking and choosing that you could actually get through the day that way, and you try it, you try it, and if you do, you tell me how that is.

[51:25]

You tell me, do you get deeper into that? Or do you find that such a practice is not fruitful? Please give it a try. Really, it's okay. More than okay. Love bade me welcome, but my soul drew back, feeling guilty of dust and sin. But clear-eyed love, observing me grow slack from my first entry in, sweetly questioned if I lacked anything. A guest, I said, worthy to be here.

[52:29]

Love took my hand and drew me close and said, Don't you know that you are she? You are the guest worthy to be here? This is what love says to you. This is what Buddha says to you. This is not what hate says to you. Hate says, you're not worthy to be here. You're not a worthy guest. of the universe. You're not supposed to be sitting where you're sitting. You're supposed to be sitting someplace else. You're supposed to be in some other body, in some other mind. You're in the wrong place at the wrong time. Get out of here. That's hate. Love says, you're a worthy guest where you are. Please accept the invitation of love. And when you are here and feel worthy to be here,

[53:38]

Share your good fortune. Share your good fortune of being able to practice a way like this and let other people be themselves too. To the extent that I don't allow myself to be me, I don't allow others to be themselves. To the extent that I say, I can't be who I am, I'll say, who do you think you are to be who you are? So accept this gift. It's a great generosity to accept it. And then you'll be able to give it to others. If you can accept it a little, maybe you can give it a little. If you can accept it completely, you'll be able to give it completely. I feel I can really say, really strongly say, please, this is your own true nature calling you to be yourself.

[54:52]

Your own true nature wants you to be here really. It really is good. I may be wrong, but I really think that. I'm not kidding. That's what I think.

[55:24]

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