I just heard the words, before Buddhas were enlightened they were just like us, and made me think that there's different meanings of the word Buddha, or maybe different kinds of Buddha. One kind of Buddha is Buddha that appears in the form of a human being, but another which we call, that kind of Buddha is what we call the transformation body of Buddha. So Buddha can be transformed into the form of a human being, can also be transformed into many other forms. But then there's another Buddha which is called the true body Buddha, and that Buddha can be transformed into whatever form is helpful to unenlightened

[01:08]

beings to encourage them to enter the Buddha way. That form of Buddha is, I've been expressing it as, it's the silent, unmoving relationship, close relationship among all beings. The way we're all closely related to each other, the way we're close friends with each other, all humans, and all humans with all other animals, and all animals with all plants and mountains and rivers, and the way also unenlightened people are intimately related with enlightened people, but also the way unenlightened beings like us are related

[02:14]

to the actual Buddha. We are intimate with our intimacy. We are intimately related to how we're close friends. That's also called the true body of Buddha, the Dharma body, the Dharmakaya of Buddha. And that can get transformed in response to beings. So for humans, it gets transformed into a human, because humans are really into humans. Sometimes the harvest can transform into a dog, because humans are into dogs. And dogs are into dogs. So for the sake of dogs, Buddha can take the form of a dog, or a human. For the sake of cats, humans, Buddhists can take the form of humans, or a cat. Buddhists can take the form of trees,

[03:15]

mountains, rivers. So we say sometimes, the mountains and rivers of the immediate present are the manifestation of the path of the ancient Buddhas. So I'm proposing that you and I, all of us dwell, I'm proposing sort of from the point of view of enlightenment, from the point of view of the Buddha's vision, I propose that we dwell, that we live in the truth. We live in the truth. The truth we live in is that we live in a truth of total graciousness. That's where we

[04:24]

live. Or you could also say, we live in the truth of a gracious totality, a gracious universe. We live in the wonderful truth, which is also the wonderful teaching, of perfect giving. But unless we practice giving, we do not realize it. Even if you have a glimpse of the perfection of giving, even if you suddenly can see that you are giving yourself to everyone, and everyone's

[05:24]

giving themselves to you, and this is our actual life, even if you have a glimpse of that, if you don't practice that, you lose it. And when you practice it, you may not even have a glimpse of it, but you realize it. The giving practice is the actual realization of the truth of giving. Similarly, I just proposed to you that we, in truth, the Buddha teaches the Dharma that in truth, the Buddha is the intimacy of all beings, and the Buddha teaches that all beings are intimate. But again, if we don't practice intimacy, we don't get it. We don't realize it. If we don't perform

[06:25]

intimacy, if we don't perform giving, we don't understand it. If we don't perform perfect giving, we don't understand perfect giving. Our bodhisattvas, as you have heard me say, and you probably heard other people say and read, bodhisattvas are beings who want to give their life for the welfare of others. They want to give their life for the welfare of others, and they want to realize the truth, they want to realize perfect giving, so that they can practice perfect giving, and realize perfect giving, and demonstrate perfect giving, and inspire perfect giving among all beings, particularly among beings who don't

[07:33]

quite feel themselves in the swing of perfect giving. And perfect giving includes other bodhisattva trainings like bodhisattva precepts of compassion, bodhisattva practice of patience, bodhisattva practice of diligence, bodhisattva practice of concentration, and bodhisattva practice of wisdom. Perfect wisdom. Perfect concentration. Perfect diligence. Perfect patience. perfect practice of precepts, perfect giving. And the thing that makes, in some sense, all the other... in some sense, giving and wisdom are the beginning and end, and in a way, when

[08:39]

you perform the precepts as giving, then the precepts are wisdom. When you perform wisdom as giving, the wisdom is perfect. When you practice concentration, but give it away, it's perfect concentration, and so on. So the giving is really perfect wisdom, but we need to test the giving on precepts, patience, diligence, concentration, and wisdom. So Bodhisattvas vow they desire to give themselves, and they practice giving themselves, and they realize that everybody else is giving themselves to them. And they also understand, because of their practice of giving,

[09:41]

they understand that everything is insubstantial. That nothing has any independent existence. And because they understand that nothing has any independent existence, they act in accord with that understanding, and acting in accord with the understanding that things are empty is to practice giving. So Buddhas are transmitting giving. They're transmitting the practice of giving. Buddhas are transmitting veneration of Buddhas. Buddhas teach beings how to love Buddhas.

[10:49]

Veneration has a root of venus. Buddhas transmit worship of Buddhas. When we venerate Buddhas, when we venerate and renovate the wonderful Dharma, when we venerate the Sangha, in that veneration we go for refuge in Buddha. We go for refuge in Dharma, and we go for refuge in Sangha. When we go for refuge in Buddha, we venerate Buddha. When we go for refuge in the wonderful Dharma, we venerate the Dharma. When we go for refuge in the Sangha, we venerate the Sangha.

[11:51]

You can't go for refuge without veneration. And you can't venerate without going for refuge. I say unto you, I give you this gift. I want you to understand, but I don't expect you to understand. I also raised the word worship last night, and this street, this Heights Boulevard

[13:15]

on the street, there's quite a few churches, and some people might call those buildings houses of worship, right? And when you hear the word houses of worship, you may have various feelings, but usually people do not, in America, we do not usually call Zen centers houses of worship. I've never heard them called houses of worship. And as a matter of fact, as I said last night, if we raise the word worship in a Zen center, people think that this place might have something to do with these churches around here, which many of us are trying to avoid. We thought we could have refuge from the churches by going to the Zen center, and now this guy's talking about worshiping. Worshiping what? Well actually, Bodhisattvas worship everything that's worthy,

[14:17]

because worship means, it comes from worth. Worship comes from worth recognition, worth practice, recognizing and appreciating the worth of things. Bodhisattvas, when they're really into their practice, don't like or dislike. Or if likes and dislikes arise, they don't like or dislike the likes and dislikes. What do they do with the likes and dislikes? What do they do with the likes and dislikes? They practice giving. They give themselves to the likes and dislikes. They see that the likes and dislikes are gifts to them. And in practicing

[15:18]

giving with likes and dislikes, they realize the emptiness of likes and dislikes. And then they continue to practice perfect giving, where they have no attachment to some separation between giver, receiver and gift. Between giver, receiver and gift. They don't attach to that distinction. They see the emptiness of any separation between giver and receiver. And they do that with everything. And they see that everything's involved in this giving. And someone graciously mentioned to me that when she saw people here last night

[16:30]

practicing worship and veneration, she felt that there was some danger in that. And I would say, yes, what are the dangers in worship? I would say the danger in worship, one of the dangers in worship anyway, would be to get distracted from the practice of giving in the midst of worship. So if you're worshiping something, or something's worshiping you, if you lose track of the emptiness of the giver, the receiver and the gift, if you start to hold on to something in the process, one could get really thrown about. Worshipping really gets rolling, you know. If you hold to some part of the process,

[17:45]

you really get tossed about in big waves of change and turbulence. And then all kinds of emotions could come up, all kinds of fear, and maybe in response to the fear, anger, violence. When we're afraid, we're at risk of violence. So it's possible, as people get into worshiping, that they'll become afraid and violent if they lose track of the giving that's going on while we're worshiping. And even if people are giving, as they get into the swing of giving, and they feel the flow of the Dharma, the flow of the truth in our relationships, if you lose track of the giving and start to hold on, and things start really moving around, again you can become frightened and violent. So there is some danger to cling to some part

[18:49]

of this lively process of reality. Now, the way to put it is, if you lose track of the giving that's involved in worship, you lose track of the emptiness that's involved in worship. I think a lot of people naturally get into worship. A lot of little kids have, you know, set up little temples in the backyard. They make little forts, and they go in the fort, and you find out there's a little, there's a temple there where they're worshiping grass or something. Or worshiping their dollies. Or worshiping baseball players. Or worshiping their mother secretly. In their own way, rather than in the way their mother would like them to worship. People seem to come up with this worshiping thing. But what is not very common

[19:52]

for children to come up with is that what you're worshiping, and what's worshiping, and the act of worship are empty of any independent existence. That's where the Dharma teaching is coming in and saying, we're all closely related, and because of that, you can't get a hold of anything. Because we're intimate, you can't get a hold of anything. Because we're intimate, you can't find anything. Because you're all supporting me and I'm supporting you, you can't find me. And I can't find you. And when we open to that, and especially when we begin to open to it, and how do we open to it? Well, by practicing giving. Perfect giving means you understand emptiness. Opening to emptiness comes through practicing giving. And once you understand

[21:01]

emptiness, you continue to practice giving. And precepts, and patience. Because I'm so intimate with you, and you're so intimate with me, you cannot find me separate from you. I am not anything, not the slightest bit of an addition to your support of me. I'm not something in addition to your support of me. It's not like you add up all the supports and then add something in addition. You cannot find me. All you can find is all the beings that support me. Including all humans, but also including cotton. Cotton? Synthetics. Synthetic cloth. Haircuts. Teeth. History. Past karma. The Buddhas and ancestors. The mountains, the rivers, all things are making

[22:10]

me. And you cannot find anything about me in addition to the things that make me. And none of the things, like you, that make me, are me. You're not [...] me. But in fact, in truth, I'm exactly you. That's why you can't find me. And the same for you, so I can't find you. And when I can't find you, because I see that you give to me and I give to you, I realize emptiness and then I also realize giving. And I also realize worship. I realize your great worth, because you are a part, you are the realization of the Dharma. Once again, as you know, the Heart Sutra says that when the Bodhisattva of great compassion,

[23:33]

Avalokiteshvara, was practicing deeply the perfection of wisdom, she saw that all five skandhas, in other words, she saw that everything you know, every color, every smell, every touch, every taste, every feeling, every idea, every emotion, whatever you're experiencing, is empty of any independent existence. She saw that. She saw that everything, all Dharmas, all phenomena, are totally innocent of any idea you have about them. Everything is actually unfindable. Nothing is separate from you. Nothing exists separate from you. Nothing exists separate from me. She saw that.

[24:37]

And this relieves all suffering. How did she see this? Because she's a Bodhisattva. And what does she do? She practices great vows. She practices giving. She practices giving. She practices giving. He practices giving. He practices giving. Until he sees perfect giving. And in seeing perfect giving, he sees all Dharmas are empty. And then when he sees all Dharmas are empty, he practices giving. And then he teaches Shariputra. He tells Shariputra about what he saw. All Dharmas are marked by emptiness, dear Shariputra. He gives Shariputra Dharma, Dharma presence. And he sees that Shariputra is giving him Dharma presence. He sees they're working together. And seeing that they're working together, again he sees that Shariputra and he are empty. This is worship of the Buddha. This

[25:48]

is what it's like when you're worshipping the Buddha, worshipping the Dharma, and worshipping the Sangha. It's like that. Vast emptiness, profoundly sweet, with generosity and graciousness for all. But not just generosity and graciousness for all, such a thoroughgoing graciousness that we realize that nothing has substantial existence. Nothing exists separate from us. We do not exist separate from anyone. So that emptiness helps us not cling in the process of giving. If we cling in the process of giving, things get really rough and we sometimes think, rather than think, better to have been generous and got messed up than to not have been generous at all. Some people think that. No, we think better to be generous and got messed up than

[26:53]

not to be generous at all. So I think if you're generous, you will probably trip up on it now and then. As you get into the flow, you probably will try to hold on to something and then get, as we say, thrown for a loop. Torn. And so that's why it's a little frightening to open up to the practice of giving. On the other hand, the practice of giving is the way to become free of fear. Generally speaking, as far as I can tell, most of us are afraid of something, most of the time, and particularly we're afraid of humans. So humans are very good things to worship. Because when we worship humans, it surfaces our fear, and then you can be gracious to the fear, and if you're gracious with the fear, you will become free of fear. And when you're free of fear, you'll be able to go more into the giving which evokes

[27:58]

the fear. It brings it out, and you practice giving with the fear, and the fear is neutralized. And then you practice giving even more fully, and new fears come, and you practice giving with the new fears, and they disappear, and the giving gets bigger. And bigger fears come, and you practice bigger giving with them, and bigger fears come, until you've faced the biggest fears. I guess the biggest fear is the fear of emptiness. The fear that actually, I cannot be found. And nobody else can be either. And the Bodhisattvas are adoring all these beings. They're adoring, they're being totally devoted to beings that they can't find. And because they can't find them, there's no obstruction to their understanding of beings,

[29:00]

and there's no obstruction to their understanding of how to help beings, and there's no obstruction to their wish to help beings. But still, Bodhisattvas, along the path, do sometimes think that they're somebody to find, that's a mistake, and they confess and repent of. And one more little thing I wanted to say, not exactly little, and just simply I said it last night, or I said it quite a few times, that we... I would distinguish between depression and sadness. When we are giving, which is always, and we don't see giving, we think sometimes that we're

[30:18]

losing. We think that we gave something, we think we lost something. When we think we lost something, if we're lucky, we feel sad. If you think, or I think I lost something, that's because I'm distracted from giving. I don't realize that everything I think I lost, I actually gave. I came to Houston a while ago and took a ride on a bicycle, very nice bicycle, loaned to me by John who? What's John's last name? Reid? John Reid loaned me a nice bicycle, I went riding on his bicycle on 43rd Street in Houston, and for various reasons I wound up

[31:26]

smashed to smithereens on the sidewalk. Now at that time, I must confess, I must confess, I actually don't have to confess, but with your support I do confess that I didn't really, I wasn't in touch with that I was giving my leg away. I thought I lost my leg. I had this nice leg, which was great, actually great right leg, for 58 years I had this great right leg, terrific leg, thanks sweetheart, but I gave it away. But I didn't see I gave it away, I thought I lost it. So when we think we lose our leg rather than we gave our leg, we're in delusion. But if we're lucky, the Buddhas give us sadness. And if we open to the sadness and see it's a gift, and feel it,

[32:37]

then we can let go and give what we think we lost. Our whole life to this moment, you might think you lost it. And if you do think you lost it, if you're lucky, you will be given sadness. And if you open to that sadness you'll realize, oh, I gave my life, I gave every moment of it, I didn't lose my life, I didn't lose my childhood, I didn't lose my youth, I didn't lose my wonderful leg, I didn't lose my strength, I didn't lose my memory, I didn't lose my vision, I didn't lose my teeth. I gave them. So if we're lucky, sadness comes, and if we're lucky, if we're well trained, when the sadness comes, we say, oh, thank you for coming, I must have missed something here. Now what did I miss? What did I give that I thought I lost? Sometimes you won't find out.

[33:44]

Sometimes what you gave, which on some level you think you lost, and you're still not, you're still grudging that gift. You actually gave it, but you have what you call giver's remorse. But it's unconscious, you know? But the sadness comes, and if you open to the sadness, even unconsciously you let go, you make, retrospectively, or retroactively, you give what you gave, but didn't know or weren't willing to give. So sadness is medicine for people who are practicing giving, who get off track. And depression is more like when you lose something, a leg, an eye, you know, a gallbladder, a colon, a foot, your money, whatever. When you lose

[34:56]

something, I mean when you give something, you think you lost it, and you have a habit of trying to get, you have a habit of trying to get that's so strong that the sadness doesn't come, but you get depression instead. So depression is not such a nice, is not as good medicine in a way, as sadness. Sadness is nicer because you're just open to it. But opening to depression doesn't seem to work the same way. So I encourage people, open to the sadness, and join the giving. But I wouldn't necessarily say, actually, but I wouldn't say just open to the depression, I would say be gracious to the depression. Give to the depression. Switch from trying to get, to give. Give yourself, give

[35:57]

yourself, give yourself, give yourself, give yourself without trying to get anything. And if you see you're trying to get something, confess it. Confess it. And keep struggling to find your way to the path of giving. And once you're on the path of giving, then you won't need depression anymore, then you get sadness and grief. So when I fell off, when I, I shouldn't fall off the bike, me and the bike, when we hit the sidewalk, my first thought was not, I give my body. I give my body to the sidewalk. I give my body to Houston. That was not my first thought. So I confess that I got distracted from giving at that moment. So then I had some sadness after that about this change in my leg. This new leg I

[37:07]

got, called a broken leg. But then I kind of, I noticed that I wasn't feeling generous about it. I wasn't like saying, hey, yeah, here, have the leg. Now I have a new leg, which says don't move. Don't move, this is not for moving. This leg is not for moving. Don't think about it. But I wasn't ready for that, to say thank you for that wonderful gift of this new leg. I had to be sad for a while first. And there was a hope that it wasn't broken. That's okay. It's okay to hope somebody's leg's not broken. But make that a gift. Don't try to get anything by hoping that it's not broken. Don't try to get an unbroken leg by trying, by hoping that it's not broken. Just give the gift of, I hope it's not

[38:09]

broken. And if you really give the gift of, I hope it's not broken, that will help when the doctor comes in and says, I'm sorry, sir, but it's broken. We're going to have to operate. Then you say, oh, thank you very much. I have no complaint with her ever. When she said that, I wasn't quite there yet either. Kind of like, couldn't you just set it? Put it back in place? But the Bodhisattva is working to say thank you for the gift. Thank you for the gift of looking at my leg. Thank you for the gift of offering me an operation. And I gratefully give you my leg to play with. I give you my leg to do your best with. I give you my leg for you to

[39:15]

give yourself to my leg. I give you my leg, you give me your expertise, you give me your love, I give you my leg. Also I give you my love, but mostly I give you my leg. Which I love. And now I have a new leg, which is not like the old one, and I'm trying to be gracious and loving to this leg. And you're being, and now, yeah, this one, now [...] this one, new legs and the mullet given to me. And you. Here's my leg, here's my leg, here's my leg. Now this is a form, I am, this is a house of worship. This is a kind of worship, this is the kind of worship which I am demonstrating. I'm worshiping the dharma of giving. Which means I'm worshiping the perfection of

[40:16]

wisdom. The lovely, the holy perfection of wisdom. Unstained, the entire world cannot stain her. She brings life to the world's, she's so wonderful, this perfection of wisdom, which I worship. I sing praises of the perfection of wisdom. I sing praises of the practice of giving. I sing praises of the wondrous dharma, which means I sing praises of the Buddhas, which means I sing praises of the Bodhisattvas, which means I sing praises of our ancestors, who somehow has something to do with us having this wonderful teaching of giving, which is the wonderful teaching of the perfection of wisdom. I sing praises to them. I worship them. I'm worshiping them. You see me worship them. And if I worship the practice of giving but then get distracted from it, we can have problems. If I think, hey, I own the

[41:30]

practice of giving. I brought it here to you. I own it and I'm just sharing it with you. But really it's mine. You can have a little bit of it. Then we have a big problem. Hey, he's got the practice of giving. Wow, look at that guy. What a great practice he's got. Then we've got a problem. So, and if you think you've got it, and you own it, and it doesn't belong to me, then we've got a problem too. But actually we're sharing the practice of giving. We have basically equal rights, equal ownership, which is no ownership. We're giving away the practice of giving. But if we see something, we think somebody's hoarding the giving practice. It's okay to say, yeah, I see a little hoarding over there. Seems like the giving practice is more concentrated there than there. Hmm, that doesn't seem according to the way it should be. So, whistleblowers are welcome.

[42:30]

So, in this retreat, it's called Performing the Buddha Way, or the Buddha Way as Performance. So, I'm making an effort to perform the Buddha Way, to perform the Dharma with you, to perform giving, to give you my words, to give you my thoughts, to give you my body, to make my body, and my thinking, and my words, gifts to you, and also to realize that you are giving your body, speech, and mind to me. I'm performing that awareness here now. And now we have a place here in the middle of the Sangha where you can come forth and practice giving, practice going through refuge in Buddha, Dharma, Sangha, practice perfect wisdom, etc. This is kind of a little, what do you call it, a seat of enlightenment here. You can come and sit on the seat of enlightenment.

[43:41]

And you can come and I give this to you. And Joe, welcome Joe. I praise and rejoice in the merit of our loving teacher of gay men. I praise and rejoice in the merit of our beloved teachers, our beloved donors who have given us a house here in Houston. Lovely. Lovely. I praise and rejoice in the merit of the members of the Sangha who sustain our activities.

[44:52]

Excuse me, do you have a moment? Do you have a moment to give? I'm giving my moment to you, Ram. Do you feel the performance of the Buddha Way coursing through you? My heart is beating and my heart is open. Is your beating heart the performance of the Buddha Way? My open heart is the performance of the Buddha Way. Do you give your heart to the performance of the Buddha Way? I give my heart to the performance of the Buddha Way. I witness your giving. May you always be like this. Thank you.

[46:19]

I'd like to make offering to all the Buddhists who have faith in God. First, I'd like to offer a confession. And then I'd like to offer something else. Can you hear him? He wants to offer a confession. And then he'd like to offer something else after the confession. I confess that it feels more intimate. That I feel more vulnerable sitting here in front of the Sangha. Thank you for that confession. Was that confession intended as a gift? Offering a gift of confession. Confession is a gift which Bodhisattvas give. You are performing the Bodhisattva Way by your offering of confession. Thank you for saying that. And now for something else.

[47:23]

I'd like to offer two expressions of complete intimacy with the Sangha. And by extension, all beings. So here's the first one. Hello, Sangha. I feel very close to you all. Very, very intimate. We feel very close to you. Thank you for expressing intimacy in this way with me. Thank you for being here. Oh, brother. This concludes the... So that's the first expression of complete intimacy with the Sangha. Oh.

[48:30]

Are you ready for the fourth? Yes. Here I come. Very good. So, I understand what he has just expressed as sitting quietly in upright posture is an expression of intimacy with the Sangha. And I think it's very good for us to be mindful of that. That when we sit together, each moment of sitting together is an expression of our intimacy with the Sangha. The performance, it is the ceremony of celebrating intimacy.

[49:41]

Thank you. Thank you. So, I wasn't going to do this. But the other day you were saying that songs can be an expression of intimacy.

[50:56]

And I was thinking, so what song would I sing the rest? And I've been sitting with this for two days. So I have to offer it as a gift. And it's from something you said to me in our yoga song. It seems we've sat and talked like this before. We looked at each other in the same way then. But I can't remember where or when The clothes you're wearing or the clothes you wore The smile you were smiling was smiling then But I can't remember where or when The things that happened for the first time Seem to be happening again And so it seems that we have met before

[52:00]

And lived before And loved before But I can't remember where or when Thanks for the gift. You're so welcome. Thanks for the inspiration. Homage to the perfection of wisdom. The lovely, the holy. Unstained. The entire world cannot stain us.

[53:05]

Thank you. I came to give a gift of confession. Could you speak up, please? I came to give a gift of confession. Could you speak up, please? I came to give a gift of confession. Thank you. That I've been holding back again. Thank you for offering this confession. I've been truly Celebrating the present moment And And wanting more of it. I hear your confession. And Because of that

[54:32]

I've been experiencing a feeling of guilt that I may Every time I come and feel my Need to feel fulfilled I'm taking space for others Very good. Did you tell me that? Did you tell us that? Very good. That I decided to come and offer it. Yeah. The way that the Bodhisattva way Come and show us Be honest. Show us your honest expression of Trying to get something While practicing. The teacher could try to get something from the student, too. The student can try to get something from the teacher. Can you imagine a student would try to get something from a teacher? Well, apparently Basia was trying to get something from the teacher. And she told us about that.

[55:34]

So if you're one of you feeling that You can realize that you're not the only one. You've helped them. So They don't have to keep that a secret anymore Now that you told them that They're not the only one. Once they realize they're trying to get something from the teacher Or get something from the Sangha Or get something from the Buddha And we confess it We have a chance to turn around And start giving to the teacher. Giving to the Sangha. Not holding back. And also I will confess that I was judging Those gifts. And thinking that maybe they were not that worthy of gifts. And you just Gave a very good example How they were good gifts. Very good gifts. We're not bargaining such a gift at all. No. And even Marcus' gifts. These are like really

[56:37]

Very good. Pilata gifts. Designer gifts. I feel so bad. And generous. Yeah. This is it. Yeah, thank you. Celebrating Celebrating the practice. My happiness in the practice. Great. And the closeness Of all of us Together. May we continue to practice together And continue to notice Our Kind of May we continue to notice And kind of get A little bit more of something from somebody. Yeah. And when we see somebody else do that Be gracious with them. And when we see ourselves doing it Be gracious with ourselves.

[57:37]

It's an ancient habit of our species. We come by it honestly we say. It comes with humanity. But we have a practice for it. Dear Mike Will you bring me my book please? The book's enough. Thank you. I'm going to read you a poem by an English poet. I heard about this poem I heard that the French Woman named Simone Weil That she memorized this poem.

[58:41]

And in the process of memorizing it She had something to say. I said I wonder what the poem is. So I looked it up and And I memorized it too. But right now I'm just going to read it Instead of trying to do it from memory. Love made me welcome Yet my soul drew back Guilty of dust and sin But clear eyed love Of dirty negro slack From my first century in Drew closer And sweetly asked If I laughed in the thing That's right. A guest I answered Worthy to be here Love said You shall be she

[59:43]

I the unkind The ungrateful The greedy Aha my dear I cannot look on thee Love took my hand And smiling did reply Who made the eyes But I Truth dear But I have marred them Let my shame go where it doth deserve And no you not Said love Who shares the blame With you Aha my dear Then I will serve You must sit down Upright Said love

[60:48]

And taste my meat So I did this Excuse me George Herbert I changed some lines That's called love number three There's two others Love I changed What I changed was Particularly I changed No you not Who bore the blame I feel it's better to say No you not Who shares the blame Buddha does not carry Our blame But Separate from us

[61:51]

Buddha shares our blame We're not separate from Buddha Buddha's not doing all the work We're not doing all the work either We're working together Nobody's going to practice Zen for you And you can't do it by yourself But We are doing it together right now The way we're practicing together is The Buddha way Another gift has been offered What you just said about Not doing it alone I'm always Very grateful and touched When I come here With this song

[62:52]

I have a big heart And It occurs to me that Everyone here may not know How that Travels back to San Antonio To our father And there's an Immense amount of support Coming from From everywhere But we feel it definitely And it comes with Really awesome Great To share How much we appreciate you all Unencoded and all Yes You don't work here outside at all All energy I have a question about The practice of giving And I find myself in the Position of Being in charge Often And have Consciously tried to make it A giving practice

[63:52]

You've been given the position Of being in charge In quotes Yes And Then I pay charge As a gift Otherwise I'm a headache You receive You receive charge As a gift I try very hard You try not to Take charge I try not to When I do Take charge I find Myself very tired I know about that And And that tiredness Will burn away the taking And convert me to Receiving That's what I wanted to know Yes You promise? I confidently Promise That if you confess And repent How you feel When you take This name When you feel Drained Uncomfortable And then maybe slip into Anger

[64:52]

And maybe Even violence But when you Confess that you're Taking charge And then repent Which means you You feel what it's like When you take And if you do that practice That will melt away the root Of transgressing From receiving To taking I've seen many people Practice confession And seen that The root melt And I've heard That all Bodhisattvas And Buddhas Have practiced this way I've never seen any Contradiction in the tradition That before Buddhas Were Buddhas They were just like us They were Bodhisattvas They made mistakes But they Confessed them And learned from them So if we Take And we notice Oh, there's the taking I confess it And I feel this way about it I feel some sorrow about it That process

[65:53]

Is a Bodhisattva practice Which melts the root Of transgressing From our wonderful Auspicious Vast Vows But it's not so easy To do this practice But if you're doing it today You can do it with a lot of people Also do it You can do it in smaller groups too You can do it All by yourself In the presence of Infinite Buddhas I invite you to come And witness your confession You're welcome Thank you for your gift Another gift Thank you

[67:02]

Hi, Rick Hi, Rick I'm not sure How many other people in the room Are in a similar Situation of having Just arrived To a retreat That's been going On since Tuesday night And I'm not sure How many of you Have been here Since Tuesday night But I just wanted To offer my Congratulations Because Whatever you all Have been doing It feels like it's been working And I have someone at home Who is Suffering And I will try to take A lot of image from him

[68:04]

And And It feels like I have to push it From My Someone I will try to And I will try to Take a lot of Image from him And I will try to Give him I thought of a story this morning, and I- it's just a story, it's just my version of a story. And, um, when I heard your talk this morning, it reminded me of a story again, so I thought maybe I could do that story as a gift to you and to Asante.

[69:16]

And, I don't know why I like this story, but it's the story of an emperor in Kyoto who decides to build a great big temple, like the biggest temple. And then, in commissioning it, thinks, well, I better get a great big priest for this great big temple. And so he asks around, and people tell him, well, there was this monk who was kind of, um, he was studying koans and things, and then one day he was reading this koan, and he was enlightened, and he just walked out the door and left. But he would probably be the best person, the priest for this big temple. And so, he looked around and couldn't find the priest, and some people said,

[70:23]

well, um, I think he's living under a bridge with a bunch of peasants. So, he thought about going, or he sent some people to look around the bridge, and they looked and they said, well, there's just a bunch of peasants and rags and everything, we'll never be able to figure out which one is the person who needed the priest. And then, he asked around some more, and someone said, well, he used to like melons. So, maybe if you take a melon, you can figure out who the priest is. And so, he took the melon and walked under the bridge, which probably, you know, smelled, and there were people in rags and so forth, and he was wearing his silk clothes and everything. And so, he carried this melon into the dark and kind of shady place, and saw someone in front of him,

[71:29]

and he thought, well, maybe this person, he said. And then he wasn't sure whether it was the priest or the monk. And this was 20 years after. I like that these stories are mixed up. Anyway, the monk had been under the bridge for 20 years, and so no one recognized him. So, he went under, he's holding the melon, and he thinks he knows who it is. So, he approaches the person and says, starts to give him the melon and says, hesitates and then says, I will give you this melon if you can receive it without extending your hand. And then the monk looked back at him and said, I will receive this melon if you can give it to me without extending your hand.

[72:30]

Good story. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for coming up here the second time in a row, because I wanted to come up here to say something,

[73:38]

but I was unsure about doing that and feeling greedy. And Gwen allowed me to come up here and express what I want to express. I think all of you guys are absolutely wild. And so unique and special and lovely. And it's mind-blowing. So, thank you for being that way. Thank you for the gift. When you said, I want to thank Glenn, I thought you meant Glenn, your father.

[74:42]

I want to thank Glenn, my father, as well. Absolutely, a wonderful, wonderful father. Yes, that's right. He must have been a wonderful father. He must have been a wonderful guy. Because look at you. You can pass that on, too, because my son brought me on this topic. And how wonderful it is that wild people like you are willing to wholeheartedly sit still and quiet.

[75:49]

In fact, I'm not always willing. How wonderful it is that wild people like you are willing to sit completely still and completely quiet for one moment. Even for one moment. It's a miracle. In the 60s, as you know, there was a thing that happened in San Francisco called the Flower Revolution. Anyway, this thing happened in Haight-Ashbury. And Haight-Ashbury is right near the San Francisco Zen Center. And so when the hippie thing was happening, the Zen Center was really starting to grow. A lot of hippies went to the Zen Center. And they often came barefoot. And when they came into the Zen Center to meet the Zen Master, they were surprised that he said, wash your feet.

[77:04]

You know, you'd think a Zen Master would tell them to wash their feet. If their feet were filthy from walking on the streets, they'd say, wash your feet before you come into the Zen Dome. Well, they did. And after they washed their feet, they became Zen students. That's our baptism. And one time, I went to one of these, like the famous Grateful Dead and Jefferson Airplane, those groups. They would give free concerts in Golden Gate Park in the late 60s, before they were so famous. Or even while they were so famous. And they would go to these things, you know, these fields would be covered with lots of people. And among them would be Zen students. And most of the people were smoking pot or other kinds of drugs.

[78:07]

But most of the Zen students, as far as I could tell, were not taking any drugs. You know, when I was sitting near them, of course they were in an environment that had a lot of drugs in the air. So, I don't know. But when the music started, I was very surprised. The first people to stand up and start dancing were the Zen students. The other people weren't high enough yet. I was proud of them to get up there and be fools. Of course, they had to leave early because they had to go to sleep and get up early in the morning. Zen Center people, sometimes people think, not so much here, but in San Francisco Zen Center, as the practice becomes more developed and more formal, sometimes people think it's kind of formal.

[79:10]

And maybe even cold. So, they sometimes think that Zen is cold. But anyway, the Zen path of the Bodhisattva is not cold. And we use these forms to see if we can practice these forms without getting stuck to them. And continue to practice giving while we give ourselves to the forms and then give the forms away. But there are some tendencies. Give yourself to the forms, and give yourself to the forms, and give yourself to the forms, and give yourself to the forms. And sometimes, subtly, you think you own the form. But then, hopefully, other people in the Sangha will help you realize that you don't own the form. And help you give it away. Which is part of the reason why we have this practice, a formal practice, to see if we understand that when we're sitting quietly,

[80:17]

not touching each other, really, this is our expression of love. We're actually being quiet so we can concentrate on loving each other. And then, we get up from the quiet and see if we can continue to remember that we're loving each other, even when we start talking to each other and saying those things we say. And then, if we lose track, sit down again. Okay, okay. What are we doing here again? I want to thank you all for your great gifts today, this morning. And I'm very happy to continue practicing with you and watch you continue to practice giving, practice the perfection of wisdom.

[81:23]

And I hope you have good health so you can continue this wonderful practice.

[81:30]

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