Thank you. Case 31 of the Book of Serenity, which is also case 83 of the Blue Cliff Record. It's called Yunman's Pillar, or the ancient Buddha and the pillar commune. The introduction says the unique dynamic of transcendence.

[01:23]

A crane soars into the sky. The unique road to confrontation with reality a falcon passes into Korea. Even if your eyes are like comets, you still don't avoid your mouth being bent down like carrying poles. But tell me, what teaching is this?" Yan Man said to his monks, the ancient Buddhas merge with the pillars.

[02:31]

What level of functioning is this? The assembly was basically speechless. Yin Man himself said for them, on South Mountain, rising clouds, on North Mountain, falling rain. Mostly in the last four days I've been talking about how to enter the realm where all Buddhas commune with pillars, the realm where subject and object merge into one suchness.

[03:43]

The realm where right and wrong, good and bad, no longer shake you. And where every gesture, every action, every movement of your eyes and twitching of your fingers is the true imperative of Buddha's compassion. Today, again, I'd like to talk a little bit about not exactly what it's like, but something about the dynamic of this realm, the dynamic of the interactions of subject and object, of mind and environment.

[04:51]

of self and other. in this realm where subject and object, where consciousness and its object merge. Is there anyone left there? in this realm of stillness where all dualities are intimate to the point of merging.

[06:21]

Is there anyone? Dogen Zenji says, there is. And who is it that's there in this realm of stillness, in this realm of one suchness? And the answer is yes. who is there. There is a who in this stillness. And this who maintains us. In the stillness where inhalation

[07:33]

and exhalation are so intimate that they turn into bright light. There is a who there. And that who takes care of you. As Suzuki Roshi would put it, if you are still with your exhale and you go all the way to the end of the exhale, in stillness, in the place where you're not sure anymore whether it's inhale or exhale, where the end of one is the birth of the other and the birth of the other is the death of the other, in that subtle dance between inhale and exhale, between life and death, in the stillness of that point, he said, it all goes white, like a white piece of paper.

[08:49]

But don't worry. There's someone there who takes care of you. It's called a realization takes care of you. Buddha takes care of you at that place. A who. And funny thing is that who is an acronym for Buddha. The World Honored One. The World Honored One is there in this one suchness of breathing in and breathing out. And this who embraces and sustains us. And if we have the courage that I've been talking about,

[09:58]

To enter this space, we will be taken care of. We will be protected. We will not be alone there, even though we don't take anything with us. And we don't know beforehand what will be there. But something will be there, and it's called who. This who has, you know, can be split into two. It can be split into many more than two. But starting by splitting into two, one side of it is sometimes called Manjushri Bodhisattva. The other side is called Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva. What's usually called the wisdom side is embodied by this bodhisattva whose name means sweetness and light.

[11:07]

It's the wisdom that sees sweetness and light in all living beings. This is the wisdom side of who, of the who in stillness. Compassion side is called Avalokiteshvara bodhisattva, the bodhisattva of infinite compassion. But Avalokiteshvara bodhisattva can also be split into two. And the Chinese did a very nice thing by giving Avalokiteshvara two names, both of which can be translations of Avalokiteshvara. This Avalokiteshvara is in this stillness.

[12:22]

is in this dynamic interactive space where the pillar and the Buddha commune. The Chinese names are Guan Yin and Kanjizai or Guanjizai. Maybe it's guanjirzai. I'm not sure. Anyway, guanyin or kanan means to observe the sounds, to observe the cries. Compassion as the action of listening to all beings. But the other name

[13:29]

Kanji Zai. Kanji Zai Bo Satsu. The beginning of the Heart Sutra. That name means, the Kan there means to listen or to observe the Ji Zai. And what is Ji Zai? Ji is self. And Zai is existence or abode or dwelling. to observe the self existing, to observe the dwelling of the self, to observe how the self dwells. That's the name of the bodhisattva of infinite compassion. That kind of observing how the self dwells is in the who that takes care of you in stillness.

[14:36]

Now I'd like you to listen while I talk about how to observe this self-existence. The name Avalokita Avilokita, that part of the name of the bodhisattva means to look down on the world. To look down on the world. The second part of the name, Ishvara, means self-existence. So one way of translating it is the self-existent one who looks down on the cries of the world. But you can also say it's looking down on the tribes of the world and looking down at self-existent, which is also the self-existent one who looks down on the tribes and the self-existent one who looks at the existence of self.

[15:58]

Ishvara also means sovereign. It's a name for a universal sovereign. to contemplate, to observe how the self exists is another way to say the self-fulfilling samadhi. In the realm of stillness, the who that takes care of you can be called Avalokiteshvara, can be called Kanjizai Bosatsu, and it can also be called self-fulfilling awareness. And the self-fulfilling awareness is this who. It is the absorption in the contemplation of how the self dwells.

[17:16]

And I've said already, how does the self dwell? The self dwells, the self exists, the way the self exists is that it is completely, contradictorily self-identical. It exists by being self-identical with the absence of itself. And you will see in the Diamond Sutra soon where it speaks of the Buddha's enlightenment is self-identical. There's nothing which is at variance with the Buddha's awakening. And the way the Buddha, the way Buddha, the way enlightenment is self-identical and not at variance with anything is by a lack of self. The who of infinite compassion, that who is the observation of this self which is not at variance with anything and is self-identical through an absence of itself.

[18:49]

This is what the... The infinite compassion is contemplating. This is how infinite compassion contemplates. And in this realm, there's fog coming up over there and rain coming down over here. In this realm, remember that song? In this realm, first there is the mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is. In this realm, the mountains are turning into not mountains and back into mountains. Life is transcending life and transcending the transcending of life. What is this dwelling like?

[20:05]

It's a dwelling, it's an existing that totally embraces non-existence. It's a life that affirms death. It's a way of living that affirms the dying that's part of living. And by affirming the death which is part of life, it makes room for new life. As Heidegger says, dwelling is primarily not inhabiting, but taking care of and creating space for or creating space in which something comes into its own and flourishes.

[21:10]

The way the self really dwells is not to inhabit, but rather to care for things. and make space for them to become themselves and flourish. That's the dwelling of the self that we observe as compassion. Dwelling is saving in its ancient sense of setting something free. to become itself what it essentially is. Dwelling is that which cares for things so that they can essentially presence themselves and come into their own. This is the way the self really exists.

[22:21]

And to contemplate this is called the self-fulfilling awareness. So again, this interface, this interstices, the interstices, how do you say it? Interstices, huh? Anyway, in the interstices, there has to be a perfect, you know, we have to find that subtle place where there really, that intimacy there. It's very subtle. And if there's a hair's breadth difference there, well, it's like the distance between North and South Mountain.

[23:25]

So once we're in this space where subject and object are communicating, where mind and nature are communicating, then our work is to, again, continue the same practice that got us into that space, the practice of the virtue of putting ourselves, our very self, into every action. putting ourself into every breath, into every posture, into every thought. That courage which got us into this space, we continue that courage to stay in that space and watch the dance, watch the discrepancy. And this discrepancy can be very painful, very disturbing and frightening. we wonder what will happen to us in that dance. So the great teacher, Fa Yan, talking to another great teacher, Xu Shan, he said to Xu Shan, Fa Yan did, Fa Yan means Dharma Eye.

[24:51]

Xu Shan means King of the Mountains. So Dhammai said to King of the Mountain, if there's a hair's breadth difference between me and you, between mind and nature, whatever, if there's a hair's breadth difference, it's like the distance between heaven and earth. How do you understand this? Sushant said, if there's a hair's breadth difference, it's like the distance between heaven and earth. Dharmai said, under his breath, that's good.

[26:00]

Over his breath, he said, But if that's how you understand, how can you get it that way? I'll say it again. Watch carefully. Listen carefully. If there is a hair's breadth difference, it's like the distance between heaven and earth. How do you understand that? Answer, if there is a hair's breadth difference, it's like the distance between heaven and earth. And Dharmaya said, if it's like that, how can you get it? And Lord of the Mountains said, I am just thus How about you, teacher?"

[27:05]

And Dharmai said, if there's a hair's breadth difference, it's like the distance between heaven and earth. Lord of the Mountain bowed. This is the unique path of spiritual light. It's right there. Can you see it? Sometimes our relationships seem so gross, it doesn't seem subtle at all, the self and other kind of thing, the discrepancy.

[28:31]

We're into the difference between heaven and earth kind of. It's not a hair's breadth. It's a big difference. And then it's not so subtle, easy to see, easy to feel, easy to blame, easy to be disappointed, easy to hate, easy to love. and so on. Easy to be confused. In stillness, this distance can get quite subtle. One more time, the entrance into this subtle space, the entrance into the space where you could witness the closing of the gap and see the world turn.

[29:41]

The entrance is to seal the mudra of Buddha, where the self reaches for itself where your very self is in every action of body, speech, and mind. Where you really use what comes into your hand as the scripture for the day. So I had an idea for my talks for this session, and I think about it and I prepare for it, but still I always try to use the scripture that comes into my hand for that day. To be turned by the current events. No matter how... Well, anyway, no matter how I evaluate them.

[30:49]

So someone was talking to me about how superficial he feels he is, how superficial he feels his practice is, how superficial he feels his understanding is. I told this person, you know what my Buddhist name is? My Buddhist name is Superficial. Tenshin basically means superficial. The characters literally mean heavenly or celestial truth. But the meaning of those two characters together is superficial. Superficial. Superficial. And what about superficial? Superficial is superficial.

[31:55]

That's Tenshin. And the next part of the name is Zenki, which means the total dynamic function of the universe, which means the Buddha energy of the cosmos to release everything and make room for new life. What is that? That's when superficial is superficial. Or some people around here are deep, so that's their problem. But then tension is deep is deep. To use the superficial or deep things or medium things, to use what comes into hand... as what comes into hand. That's the entrance into the realm where sameness and difference dance.

[32:57]

Case four of the Book of Serenity. The Buddha is walking along with his group. He stops. He takes his finger. He points to the earth. And he says, this spot of earth is a good place to build a sanctuary. This clump of clay is a good place to build a sanctuary. This festering lump of flesh is a good place to build a sanctuary. I'm adding that stuff. Just so you understand how thorough you must be about this thing that's coming into your hand now to use it. This is a suitable place. And then Indra, Ishvara, the self-existent sovereign deity, took a blade of grass and stuck it in the ground at that spot and said,

[34:14]

The sanctuary is built. This is the place to build it. And how do you build it? You take a piece of grass and you stick it in the ground. What does that mean? You take yourself and you put it into the place where yourself is. Yourself is a blade of grass. and in the place where yourself is, you put yourself in the place where yourself is. So superficial. That is the total dynamic function of the universe as delivered to you right now. If you put that blade of grass onto this spot of earth where Buddha has just pointed for you to build a sanctuary, then there You can now really be like Avalokiteshvara and watch the way the self exists on this spot and realize Buddha's mind.

[35:23]

And then a cloud rhino staring at the moon, it's engulfing radiance. Wooden horses run through the spring flowers, free and unbridled. Green Gulch monks shuffle into the zendo, sit down and have a vegetarian feast served by highly trained waiters. this is a miracle. A man came to tell me that, well, I forgot exactly how he said it, but he said something like,

[36:39]

I've been having a lot of father stuff happening to me during this sitting, a lot of grief over my father. My father was a good father when I was young, but as I grew up he wasn't such a good father. He was a great father when I was young because he was kind of a kid. And he played with me. But when I grew up, he didn't grow up. And that kind of disappointed me, because he couldn't be a father for me when I grew up. I know another man in this community whose father never played with him, who was an old man and didn't play with him.

[37:58]

It's hard to be a father, to be a boy for your son, a boy for your daughter, and also be an old man for your son or daughter. Most people veer off in one way or the other. Veering off one way is called puer eternis, right? The eternal boy. And veering off in the other way is called a senax, an old fart. Either way, it's kind of a problem for the kid. You know, I brought this up. This is a meditation on self and other. This is a meditation on that hair's breadth difference between father and child. Between father and child means what's the appropriate relationship.

[39:05]

At a certain time you should play with the child. But then when the child puts away its toys, you have to put away the toys too. And be dignified and sober. That's what they need. It's a tough order. You just get the hang of one thing and you have to put it aside as soon as they're ready and change it into another. Anyway, it's painful work. And when Gregory Bateson died, we had a funeral for him here, and I said, in the funeral, I said, well, if adults can adopt children, then why can't children adopt adults?

[40:13]

So in that ceremony, I adopted him as my father. And then I also mentioned to this man that towards the end of my father's life he came here to Green Gulch to visit me. And he came into my room and saw my altar. And on my altar he saw a picture of my teacher, Suzuki Roshi. And he looked at the picture and he said, he's your real dad, isn't he? And I hesitated for a moment and said, no, you are. But in that hesitation was, well, yes, in a sense he is my real dad. He's my dad. My dad played with me. But he also didn't show me the old man. I had to find that in people like Gregory Bateson and Suzuki Roshi.

[41:19]

But still, you know, my father was very good and very sweet. Very sweet, very kind to me when I was young. I knew he loved me, which is great. He had trouble taking me out into the world because he actually couldn't stand to stay home when I became a young man and he left our family. And then I became the little man of the house and the Oedipal victor. so partly on some level i feel guilty having won the struggle same time it was kinda nice to be a man at eleven when i was eight

[42:46]

I was playing with my soldiers. I like to play war with the armies of soldiers I had. And my parents observed my maneuvers and noticed that the armies actually were rather large. And they wondered how I managed to accumulate such an immense force of soldiers. There were quite a few. And I told a lie and said that I had not been banking the money they gave me to put in the bank and had been buying soldiers with it. For some reason or other, my mother checked my bank account and found out that I had been banking my money. So then I told the truth that I had actually stolen the soldiers from a dime store.

[43:53]

So my father took me for a ride in the car. We went to the police station. the Bryant Street Police Station in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Nice station, nice policemen. We went inside and my father said, I'd like to show my son your station. Would that be all right? I'd like to show my son your cells. And the officer in charge said, fine. So he took me in there and showed me these cells, which in this particular neighborhood were full of bicycles. No human prisoners. Foaming at the mouth, reaching to the bars to get me. It was just kind of a mild scene.

[45:05]

And he said to me, would you like to spend some time here? And I said, no. He said, well, you know, this is where you might wind up if you continue this kind of stuff. And then he said, you know, if that ever did happen, it would break your mother's heart. And so then we left the police station. But looking back on that, I realized actually that he was not the slightest bit self-righteous with me, which is the good side of being, you know, like a boy. He wasn't like the old man looking down at me. That was not the right time actually to be the old man looking down at me. I think it was better that way. Anyway, he showed me the consequences

[46:13]

And he was very kind. He made space for me to figure out what I wanted to do. And again later, after I got in trouble again, in a different way, he came to see me after he had left us. and in some sense given up his authority in the house, and still talked to me about it, and told me even more about why he wasn't self-righteous. Because he himself had a similar problem. And he told me about it. And another man at that same time who lived with me, which I've told you about before, was another man who told me about what a bad boy he was.

[47:28]

And then he told me, and at that time, as I've said before, at that time I decided I'm going to do the hard thing. I'm going to be a hero. I'm going to try to be good. But you know, it wasn't easy. And I tried and tried and tried for many years and I've never been successful. And still I heard stories of people who seem to be good. How could they do it? And now I found out that they don't. that people don't do good that there's no one-sided goodness in this world that's just self-righteousness now I no longer try to do good myself I tried to find out how we are together and watch good emerge from all of us

[48:42]

And try not to be fooled if someone tells me that I'm good. If there's a hair's breadth difference in this goodness business, it's like the distance between heaven and earth. But where we meet in one suchness, this is good. to have the courage to enter that space, that is goodness. It's not that I'm good, but the courage to be me is good. Courage is good. I'm not. In the words of certain Zen teachers, I'm no good at all.

[49:47]

In the stillness of my conversation with this man, I realized more about my relationship with my father and I realized more what a wonderful relationship we had and how much goodness came from it. In the stillness of the conversation about my relationship with everybody, I realized Not even I realize, but I guess I don't realize it. But anyway, in that stillness, the clouds crop up on South Mountain and the rain falls down on North Mountain. It's getting late, so I guess I won't bring up today the text that came into my hand.

[51:21]

The text that came into my hand was this text. It's called The Red Balloon. It's about the relationship between a boy and a balloon. It's about the place where it's about contemplating the way boy and balloon merge, how that happens. It's about the kind of dwelling of a boy that makes space for a balloon to become a balloon. It's a good example. I guess some of you already have seen this story. Rosetta, can you stand up?

[52:52]

May I ask you to perform a great feat? Would you come over here, please? And hold this near your mouth unless you don't need it. Would you recite poem from As You Like It for us. This is a poem about some gentleman who had been exiled from court or out in the forest in exile on a little retreat. And the Duke has this to say. Now, my co-mates and brothers in exile, have not old custom made this life more sweet than that of painted pomp? Are not these woods more free from peril than the envious court?

[54:05]

Here we feel not the penalty of Adam, the season's difference, as the icy fang and churlish chiding of the winter's wind which when it bites and blows upon my body, till I shrink from the cold, I smile and say, this is no flattery. These are counselors that pleasingly persuade me what I am. Sweet are the uses of adversity, which like the toad, ugly and venomous, wears yet a precious jewel in his head, And this our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything. I would not change it.

[55:07]

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