The Pivotal Activity of All the Buddhas

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there's a few new people here welcome to you for your if you hear the first time
house i want to mention that we had a
let's say nah september has since i since then we have since our last sitting here that are less stunning and august right like august eighth or something
since that time i went to sweden and did a session and and i came back to green out and get another session
and the gringo session was kind of up an unusually know about type of know about kind of says she and because many of you here today where there and other people like know more people came if they mostly know about people
very nice thanks for coming to you and wasn't a nice
anyway i
this things that had been talking about are things which i am going to continue to talk about
which i want a
i want to remind you of his kind of like
every time i give a talk is kind like setting a table
sending a table for our our discussion so part of the table setting
he maybe would be to tell you
that this inner
and about a month where to start a practice period a green gulch and desist this practice period as i noticed two kinds of announcements about it
one announcement was that the focus of the practice period is focusing on the bodhisattva path another announcement
for the practice period was
zazen for the welfare of the world
i'm amy colin
the political activity of all buddhas
so i i i have met and i will continue to talk about
a pivotal activity of our buddhas which is for the welfare of the world and is in in the zen temples we recall this pivotal activity of buddha's for the welfare of the world we call it some
times awesome
focusing on the bodhisattva path
is focusing on the path of buddhahood
it's the path to realize buddhahood

and the bodhisattva path focuses on
the activity of
who does
realizing buddhas and going beyond
realizing borders

so now i'd like to offer you a little summary of the bodhisattva path

the bodhisattva path harm
hum is to live
by deeds
of compassion
for all living beings
i want to stop there for seconds that i just check with you he has somewhat familiar to you
to live
a life of
pottery days of compassion to all beings
that's the bodhisattva path one way to describe it
say again
you stop
i think quickest doctor
and then after we stop i mean we stop i shop talking and you listen to me when i said that right so i taught me you were listening
and even though i stopped i did kind of stop at night
and i checked to see if that was like someone familiar
and then after i stopped and i checked with you somebody asked a question
if somebody who goes by the name of korea
in other words when i said it is pretty much yet but then you asked a question partly because i ask you a question or actually i said it has pretty much it and then i asked a question so all that's pretty much it then after that than you started in the questions come
which are part of it so my question
after i said that my question
which was something like is is as somewhat familiar to you going my question right
that was an act i meant that is an act of compassion
so i gave first of all egg i i gave this definition of the bodhisattva path this picture this story of the bodhisattva path i gave that is an act of compassion that's what i wanted you to be i thought that might help you get oriented set the table right then after that i asked a question
in another another act of generosity then you as the question for another act of generosity so you after i get the definition i practiced eye while i was giving the definition i was practicing what i was defining i wanted to anyway than i as repression to continue the
practice than you asked a question to continue the practice
so that's it and now we're practicing
and then there's another question that comes up but what if you forget

or what if
what if why you're trying to
act compassionately towards all beings what if it gets scared
what we're talking about is kind of library pretty simple i just said it
but then fear comes up sometimes

and the fear often makes it somewhat difficult to can to do the practice which would produce is clear what the practices but not what would be compassionate when i'm afraid
so here's a person
here's a living being a human maybe or a grizzly bear
i was just up where they have all got lot of signs saying grizzly bear grizzly country
they give you instructions you know
so a grizzly bears shows up
a you okay now time for a deed of compassion
but i'm scared

so once again going back to the simple definition said okay that definition everybody like clear about that
did you say it will return
just to live
by deeds of compassion for all beings
that's basically it
and then
stuff comes up like one big one is fear
here of what's going on in myself which is a being
fear of how i am here my old age sickness and death fear of my yeah
of my well fear that my welfare might not might be in endanger fear that i might be i might get hurt
so then the bodhisattva path passage to practice compassion towards my fear when i'm afraid for myself

but sometimes i see as a pendant or sometimes i see other people like oracle other beings like grizzly bears and then again i'm afraid
for myself i'm afraid about my own personal pain
and then it makes it perhaps hard to remember that i i'm here to be compassionate and grizzly bears
when i'm afraid of much of the grizzly bear hurting me
this makes sense
but it could also be a human a big or small human who seems to be aggressive or
i know what prejudice against me or whatever i might be afraid of them and then again have difficulty remembering that my job is to be practice compassion towards his person towards whom i feel afraid
i'm afraid the i might have personal pain in relationship to them so this is so
this comes up so than an innocent it so in that sense it's almost like an extension of the jobs description that i in addition to come along with doing compassionate deeds to all beings humans and non-humans
i also need to give up
being afraid a personal suffering
it doesn't mean i had to not be afraid
it just means i have to let go of it
in order to do my job because if i don't if i'm holding on to fear a personal pain i might kill the grizzly bear
on necessarily
so i when i was walking up in the up in the mountains recently i was thinking know if the grizzly bear comes can i speak to him and say darling i don't wanna hurt you but i also don't want you to hurt me so please to realize i'm just
standing here and you can go away i'm not i know
here you can go wherever you are going you can continue that way i'm not going to interfere with you
and also i'm not going to run away from you because i've heard that that is not a good idea because it kind of stimulates something new that means attack so i'm just gonna stand here and talk to you and i try to be compassionate to you hoping that the bodhisattva path will be living in me now and i wonder
ring would i be able to do that if the grisly comes and especially becomes comes fast
like not from one hundred yards away but like suddenly come running towards me can i just stand there and talked to him give him kindness or her kindness hers her is often like maybe defending her her cubs
that's a really difficult situation
so anyway i was wondering would i be able to let go of my fear when the grisly comes and i didn't i didn't have a lot of confidence like yeah sure
but my understanding as the that's when i'm at that's the bodhisattva path is when it when a usually comes to be compassionate to the grisly
but i have to practice giving up
fear of my pain and i don't have to wait to meet a grizzly bear the practice that i had pains now that i can be afraid of second work with them now
there's people and right now that i can be afraid of
dark afraid that they're gonna cause me pain
so the key thing and the next step
in order to facilitate these bodhisattva deeds is to see that the existence of grizzly bears
beings other human beings other human beings other human beings that their existence is
our own existence not even the say had their existence is our existence the grizzly bears existence is our existence
all living beings all other living beings
our my existence to see that to hear about it but to see it
that facilitates letting go of fear about my suffering
and seeing that
and letting go of the fear by seeing it
that's the pivotal activity of the buddha's
that sets the activity of compassion rolling with are getting stuck on what's coming up

they say that is either that show compassion towards a spider that showed compassion georgia was like yeah let's hear about them because compassion is fighter
some stuff on the floor
huge spider real issues and i actually thought about you and i still went to get my passion
and when i came back
when i came back the spider had disappeared so everyday i will go in are often to this will knowing that the spider with there
and one day i went into the room and it's such a huge idea that it had died but it had emerged and died where i could see it through
so it did i will kill it
but it often to hide where i can see that guy that was very kind of yeah thank you
if you're was no object infused with rises
of points to the prisoner
when you say one where does this meant the sphere rise in can point to the grizzly bear is just there is it
the web and you just don't know where there's no what it is it's just paralyzed to stop was there now
that's the being that i wanna be compassionate do now is that fear
i can i can
be compassionate to the fear
i don't have to know what it's about package feel like i'm tensing up i'm afraid i do feel that so i had i have that mean to be compassionate to
once again
soccer skin for hobbies hobbies includes the aside
all beings include the bodhisattva yes that's and seeing that the fear can you can let go to fear
but if you if you don't
if i don't
take care of the fear
if such a way to let go of it
why should say if i if i'm not kind of the fear is hard for me to see that i'm included in everything that everything is including me is pervading me
when i see that than the fear is abandoned

i'll be right with the current i think whom had her hand have raised a while ago yes actually that's gone but the the new question is
the letting go so when you are saying letting go as an act of compassion does that mean just allowing fear to be verses it's a win-win to say let as basically started dog started letting it be and let
thing and be is the beginning of the path of seeing
that on all other beings
our what we are when when when we see that then the fear will be abandoned and then we can do our job
so letting the fear be is the beginning of seeing something more than just a fear the fear comes because we don't understand that
every other bank is what we are
i am nothing but every other being i'm not i'm not something in addition to all things other than me i am just the centre of everything that's not me
i'm the center of it
when i realized how in the centre of everything that's not me
fear drops away and the bodhisattva path is unhindered
we can try to practice the bodhisattva before we have this insight and many of our efforts to do so will promote this insight
we can listen to the teaching and ask questions about it even before we understand it
so you can hear the teaching of what the bodies have a path is we can hear that letting go of fear of personal pain is part of it we can hear that there's a possible vision of how everybody other than
us is is what is our life we can hear that
and by going through these processes and these instructions over and over we will someday see this
and then we'll just continue but
on hand will continue what we've been doing all one we've been practicing we're not going to see this we're not going to have this vision if we haven't been trying to practice days of compassion with everybody if i try to practice seeds of deeds of compassion and seeds of compassion with everybody than i
i will naturally notice hoops i wonder if i can do it now so like i said i wondered can i do it with the grizzly bears i had i'd already had the teaching that i'm supposed to do with grizzly bears
i already had that teaching so nice i'm going to guam where there's a grizzly bears can i do it out there i wondered i'm not sure
because i i still to have a little bit of fear of personal pain of being ripped apart by those
i heard four inch clause
those claws are not primarily made to be chopping people up
then there for digging
they're mostly for digging
in the ground
where this stuff to eat and then they don't they don't slash the things with their claws they picked them up and put them in their mouth to them they're not
primarily for killing humans but they have these things for digging in the ground
which if they're in know if somebody scares them they can use these things are not somebody
so it is a good idea not to scare them
because when they get scared than they than they can get angry and aggressive like us so that would be why would it be a good idea generally speaking to talk compassionately to the grizzly bear but also don't scared by running away
like your honor the they might they might be afraid that are missing out some some fun if you're going to
so just stand there and just try to tell him you know i'm not bragging i'm not bragging you know i'm just here i really i really want to have a nice calm or non-harmful relationship with you i don't want to hurt you i don't want you to hurt me honestly speaking on tonight i just want to have a peaceful afternoon with you
you know that's really where i mad and that's the way i want to talk to grizzly bears
and i understand that they like that too
but i'm not sure i can be so i i keep checking and also with some people i also feel like you they have long fingernails i'm afraid of them so the same would be with them but
yes wanted to say that i met
was another buddhist nun and bush is in know she was working in india with a tour group and a bear came out there became annex she grabbed her head and eight or eighteen upstarts eat your head and as she had never met a tapering in them in the sound of own came to her and their turns off from her
dibella go
it's just kind of almost like very quickly just can't stand back to her and and and so in insignia of questions it was given the this became numb buddhist nun and she showed me the sky
this is a huge scale and so a main thing
yeah i would like i would like to hit the bear did not mean it also says if they come in they get close
if you know you can't get it or not gonna go away then follow your stomach
and put your hands and tongue behind your head and it's good to have your pack on leader pack on that most of whom protect you
if you lie if you lay flat it then sometimes they realize you're not a danger and sometimes i leave you alone is want to make sure that you're just gonna lie there
and and i would hope that if i did that that while i was lying there i could say you know
i bought from this life on throughout countless life to hear that true dharma you know may may all beings be at peace i hoped that i could keep being compassionate at that moment
and ohms kind of a short version of that maybe
may maybe homes faster but anyway
i should i would hope to do too
to just be there and wishing welfare to beings
when i'm being checked out or canterbury out
kind of aggressive way i that
but it's also possible that if it kept nudging and even i was wishing it well i thought maybe i should turn over and fight maybe that would make things clearer
he is possible to beat to for compassion to express itself by pushing away with your hands and feet
as possible to but the question is cases coming from really like
turning over now and kicking the bear his i had this is i think now i think this has been called for as possible and i don't want to i don't have ill will towards the bear i just would like to bear to go away and let me live so i can practice some more that's what i would want
but i wouldn't start by kicking in this case and i asked with people to i don't start by kicking
herrick and then charlie

suggested to shout shout yeah the day and in the instruction that i read up and glacier was not to she not to yell at them but to talk you know they have really good they have good ears and not good vision they can hear so as you go to the
for make sounds but not super loud ones and and when they come talk calmly and on aggressively and also on defensively
with and and the same out we do retreat at mount madonna they say they have mom lines up there and says talk to them don't yell at him but definitely talked to them in a row
maybe make sure that they can hear you
but not shouting to don't don't be too aggressive don't frighten them
we're highly

yeah it's a different kind of there is a different kind of bear to these are grizzlies and i guess they also have black bears at brown bears up there
and they have a difference and they don't have a long claws later on diggers and then they actually huh
the brown bears can climb trees and and part of the reason they climb trees is to get away from credit from danger grizzlies don't climb so they have other other modes so this is for grizzlies but whatever type of being it is whether to grizzly bear brown bear or a human bear it's the
the same
deeds of compassion
and again if i become afraid i might say
and the none none i'm not going to be compassionate now i'm gonna try it i'm going to be aggressive and cruel because this person frightened me and
forty surface
want to give that up if i would learn how to give that up charlie
i'm crushed about the
generosity conquerors yes compassion when on
the things we want like i want the bear peaceful afternoon it
ah and
trying not to get those to happen but to make them gifts us out
where's the difference there when when i want you know the bear to go away but i'm not going to try to get the very go away or i want you know i want something that i'm not trying to make it like i'm not trading control it
yeah well this is so in this case it seems to me that if a bear shows up the a
and if i want to bear to go away that's that to wish i have but the wishes that wish of one in the bear to go away that's not necessarily it something that's not necessarily indeed of compassion towards the bear but i i want to be compassionate towards my wish that the bag would go away
i couldn't oh it's okay to wish the bears would go away when they get too close by lot of people are really so happy i went to the park and i saw originally there so happy and it was like one hundred yards away you know and as a beloved it's so beautiful to see them at a safe distance now that bears
no i bought the bear to go away that's that wish that the barrel go away gives a being towards which bodhisattva vow to be compassionate that's above me now to be compassionate
does not necessarily compassionate to the bear
so i want i i feel compassion for the bear i want to bear to be happy healthy and i also has a this human being would like them to go away
it could even be like i would like to go up this path and they're blocking the path i often have that thing with less dangerous animals like cows there sometimes during the path and you can go around that they're just standing there
and i kind of would like to go away well i'm a sentient being too i can be compassionate towards this hiker who would like this cow to get out of the way i can be kind of myself with that thought and then i can also just planted that the count take his time as an act of compassion and let the bears be there
so i don't know exactly how this compassion works in terms of getting a baritone
go this way or that way i don't know how that would work
this practice is not about is not a it's not a bear hurting practice it's not a human hurting practice it's a practice
i'm making buddhas
and to stand there and to and to let me wish the bear would go away and let the bear not go away
handsome and to let the bear not go away has an act of generosity towards the bear and to let me wish the bear would go away has an act of generosity to me that's what makes buddhas
and again in both cases is example
it's challenging to remember generosity when i'm afraid
but not impossible
and if i can remember that's making that's the boy to up his job is to remember these practices when we're afraid and we were not afraid that's proposal
sun is really amazing but that's the proposal yes son
sometimes here is carried out first by anger exactly often often instead of being generous to the fear we flip into anger dash aggression
so the same thing you have to be
have this well if if you didn't slip into the agreement has st be generous with the anger and then you might be he might be able to realize oh i'm afraid
you know it's not a lot of times people get angry at someone for doing something the person fighters them and then they end the i get angry that the person frightened them
but that's because he didn't address
the the the phrase they skipped over the fright and went into the into the anger but if you can be compassionate to the anger that you can go back and realize that will actually out
i was afraid as and i didn't take care of that and because i didn't take care of my fear i went into this aggression mode
yes yes is for me as far as his question you were talking that perhaps the difference between the wish and trying to control it the precepts
to you could not wish that there's a way of you to react
in that situation you can run but you know that's not smart the other option would be to try and you know
where do you know that logical option but it's another non precept response and present response so upset that that's the day you know between
between the wish and response
which wish
or the wish to for the barricade you alone to want but also question on which to too generous

stop sunday
the sun
never doing something that's hard disease and generosity to that the carnival
it could be you can you again you can fight you can fight the a bear or fight a person as an act of generosity you could put sometimes it's helpful to say to someone i really would like you to stop that
nope you can say please stop that i can just say stop that it he said don't do that he could has it as and as a gift not trying to control them
and again with certain beings if you if you say stop that you don't think that you saying stopped at is going to control them
they might if they're not under control there but they might send micro say okay
lexington sense that somebody somebody who can say stop that and they said all right but it wasn't because you were in control of them is because use it you said that and they did that but how about have worked is not just that you ask for it he was many other factors that led to them just to sort of go along with your request
sometimes you can say to somebody would you give me that money
and they don't give it to you and sometimes they do but it's not that you saying what you give me the money control them into giving it to you and you didn't meet and if your generous you didn't mean that way he just gave him the gift of
would you give me that money
he gave him the gift of will you please stop that you gave him a gift of would you give back a little farther away from me
if you're giving it as a gift you're not trying to control them
now if you are trying to control them then you can practice generosity with your wish to control them
like i i pulled the story i think in the book being upright of these people who were driving down a highway and their the fire was covered with frogs
in these people were native american people and one was a grandpa and one was a grandson i think
and the grandpa said to the to the driver of the car stop the car
we don't want to run over the the frogs
and the grandson says yeah but if we stopped a car this this project and and crossing the road all night you know
and grandpa this is yeah they're going to be crossing the road all night and we're going to be sitting here all night
so sometimes being compassionate could be kind like manager to give up where you're going
like he can't go down this you have to wait until the frogs cross the road that does happen if you have a road next to a river
like it is raining this often lot tremendous fraud traffic like the roads covered with project and you cannot you cannot just doesn't you can could walk but you couldn't drive a car probably
because it's so much you know there's not a space for the type
see had to wait
probably more in most cases unless you have a jumping car you can jump over the frogs
the point is we're our job is to be compassionate to frogs to judy's of compassionate towards for towards frogs and sometimes we might be afraid that if we do this we'll never get down the road so it personal pain it or not have spending our rest of our
life on this road
being afraid of that
but the frogs their life is our life
those frogs are our life when we see that we'd then we'd aren't afraid of spending the night sitting on the road
even though it may be kind of troublesome and uncomfortable to some extent to be sitting there on the road all night where the frogs
that's what bodhisattvas aspire to
and if they don't do it they confess it and they say i did not wait for the frogs to cross i kept driving and i think i ran over quite a few frogs and i'm really sorry i'm sorry
i do not ever want to do that again and maybe next time i'm not going to go driving down that road when it's raining because it probably will be frogs but i can walk down the road if i really want to maybe they should but that night i did not wait for the frogs because they
it would you know they were going to stop and i just could not be inconvenienced so i just kept going and i'm really sorry and what we chatted to beginning here is by revealing and disclosing our lack of patience and generosity towards frogs
by confessing it and saying we're sorry we melt away the root of transgressing against frogs have not been kind towards frogs
and some people were also sometimes not kind to or we just can't be inconvenienced anymore but then we have to move on we
we we come to the end of our patients with them and at that point we're sorry
and in this way we will someday have no and a patients
but of course this is an ongoing challenge
and the key factor which i had hockey going into more detail is too
practices preset these generosity and six patience diligence and concentration but also keep looking at the teaching that everybody is who you are
and look at the practice which is the practice of this pivoting between self and other to keep studying that and watching that until you can see
that then will make all these practices natural until then we have to remember to do them and can remember to listen to these teachings
did care of another comment
okay it's okay
when you're talking about the frog
for the for this we're not to go further is like the mind that is totally present which doesn't need to go anywhere but what about our minds that constantly wants to go somewhere he i will so in this story we got to grandfather was willing to stay there all night and we got the grandson who has not is not mature enough he wants to
go someplace but he has his grandfather i don't know what the conclusion of that story was i don't know if the grandfather says was something else i can do for you why we're waiting
you know
would you my dear grandson be willing to like do me the favor of sitting in the car was may or maybe it the grandfather could say if you want to you can go ahead
you know i'll stay with the car and you can go ahead and carefully step over the over the frogs you can go ahead if you've gotta get someplace go ahead i'll stay here
and and keep this car ha from road running over the the vehicles so you go ahead and zucker as she said that one time you know that famous story
if i'm walking too slowly please go ahead

so sometimes we let the people who got gotta get somewhere go there
but we also show an example of well i'm walking slowly and carefully but the cinema if i run into of up our our huge number of frogs i'm going to even slow down more if you need to go ahead go ahead and but then the person does go ahead but they know that their grandmother their grandfather is back there walking slowly and carefully
and maybe when you know maybe later they will be able to do that practice themselves
we are trying to get somewhere but we're trying to place your trying to get is where we already truly are we already truly are the center of the universe we already are the person who is really everybody else we're already there we do want to realize that
and we practiced stillness can argue realize it
i think what i'd like to warn you about
is that
and i'll do it again before i do this but there is his practice of looking at the situation of the pivotal activity to look at the situation how were pivoting with all other beings to meditate on this discuss the situation the situation in which we will see
and become free of fear
i'm telling you that before i get into that that the reason for doing this is so you can do body sought for work which is very simple
don't run over frogs just to get someplace on time
you know that kind of stuff it's very simple
but an order to do that we sometimes need wisdom and wisdom is to look at the strange situation of how we think other people are separate from us how we think they're not us or actually they are us so looking at that is not just an intellectual x
size it is an intellectual exercise to free us from fear a personal pain so that weekend
not kill frogs and grizzly bears and people when they're inconvenient
okay so but the end before i get it this i'll remind you of this again that this is not distinct intellectual exercise is an intellectual exercise
to realize buddha is essential are pivotal activity to realize buddha's wisdom we need that wisdom to do this simple bodhisattva practices
an unhindered on sticking way so i get into some of the stickiness and try to point out and i wanted to get into it i mean this is what i'm going to be working on with you to get into the places where we stick
and to see
what the stickiness is doing to do how the stickiness is related to our view of others
but this isn't just to do that it's to do that so that we can make buddhists yeah

yeah yeah
yeah but i'm too tired for you already when fear comes that's a being to be compassionate to and that money and and and i think although you might not yet be ready to meet certain beings without being afraid you might be able to meet your fear
cause fear in some ways sometimes you feel that yeah i can not be afraid of that but i can't be kind to my fear
to say
yeah it's a human response i'm and i feel compassion towards the human response
and and because of the human response i'm having a little trouble being compassionate towards what i think caused it
that's the next step

yeah you you say you don't have to control the fear and i'm suggesting while you can't control it
and i'm also suggesting you can't control yourself
and you can't control yourself into being someone who doesn't cook who doesn't want to control herself so here i am someone who wants to control himself and i can't stop myself from being that way
we have so many opportunities to be kind is is amazing
so when i tried to control myself
i'd say hello sweetheart i see you're trying to control yourself great
great not good or bad just just just it's just great
yes it is dark
all let's talk about it
of slightly afraid to
he didn't hear me say it but i did say the bear if i did talk about the bear being afraid i'm saying to you that you're usually buried there were no humans are not normally there they don't have much background of eating humans they mostly attack humans when they're afraid and they can you can if you if you see a grizzly bear
you you new theory who run adam you're frightening
and also if if you get between a mature grizzly bear in their cubs they're afraid you're gonna hurt their cubs has very difficult for them not to be afraid that it no matter what you do
he adds business
there are some grizzlies who are electors in the movie called the grizzly man and his desk the the grizzlies were hungry and just somehow he hung out with them for for a long time for years he hung up close to the regionally bears and they didn't bother and but then one i'm just started it just occurred to i'm
thought well maybe actually we maybe he would be food but does like a evolutionary breakthrough that the grizzly bear realize how humans can be eaten
but usually when they attacked it i think it's because they're afraid
those grizzly bears actually ate the people
but these other cases they they kill him but they often leave the body
they're not hitting them for food they're eating them out of fear
we're not bears are not human eaters so far
if we found out there were bears i did i would really don't be a really difficult situation
but when they're afraid they don't become human eaters they become human killers
and they may or may not after they killed a human they may or may not eat them depends on other conditions
but were afraid of them most of us and we need we have that to work with and were afraid of each other most of us so we have that to work with
if we work with the opportunities we have with each other more thoroughly
we will be more ready to meet grizzly bears
if we if we don't notice that were afraid of each other
we're missing out on a great opportunity because we are afraid of each other until we have perfect wisdom we are afraid of each other because until we are perfect wisdom we think other people are not us
which is incorrect according to the dharma
that i'm offering you have if you are me i am you you pervade me i pervade you and that's difficult to understand that but that's what i will be trying to talk to you about until everybody understands including me
but it's for a good cause so please be patient with me
may i
the ugly extends to every be and plays way
as way the
numberless hi to save them delusions are inexhaustible i love to end them dharma a son boundless hi
how to enter them buddha as way is unsurpassable about to become
sometimes when i do that chat i i mix up i mix it up bit and i sometimes think of you know sentient beings are numberless i vowed to enter them
or delusions are inexhaustible i vowed to enter them or delete or the for delusions are inexhaustible i'm out to save them that i think it i feel good about these interchanges