I heard a verbal expression arise in the mind, which started out as, I would like to say, or I would like to talk about something. And then I thought, would I actually like to talk about this? Do I want to? And I do. But I also hesitate a little bit talking about it, because it's such a big thing, or because it's such a little thing.

[01:04]

And what I wanted to talk about was the awareness of a Buddha. And I guess that means that I would be talking about my understanding of the awareness of a Buddha. And I do want to express something of my understanding of the awareness of Buddha. But what I express is, of course, not the awareness of Buddha, not Buddha's awareness.

[02:12]

It's just an expression. I just make these expressions. And these expressions come from my mind, my understanding. So I have an understanding that leads me. I have an understanding to say that Buddhas understand something that cannot be expressed, and they too express themselves in words in order to help beings understand the mind which they understand,

[03:31]

the truth which they have understood. But what they say is not the truth. But it is offered to guide beings to realize the truth, to be aware of what the Buddhas are aware of, or to be aware in the way that the Buddhas are aware. This morning, during the morning service, did you chant the self-receiving and self-employing samadhi? Well, these words are not the self-receiving and self-employing samadhi. But these words are offered to help us understand the self-receiving and employing samadhi.

[04:47]

This samadhi is the awareness of the Buddha. And it may be that these words that we chanted this morning come from the understanding of the Buddha's awareness. I personally think, I personally understand that what the Zen teacher Dogen said in those words, I feel that maybe that is a good indication, a good finger pointing at the moon of the Buddha mind. But I remind myself and you that the words are not the samadhi, although they're not separate from the samadhi.

[06:03]

The words are trying to educate us about how to realize the samadhi. Thank you. This awareness of the Buddha is an awareness of how human beings receive a self.

[07:06]

Part of this awareness of the Buddha is to actually be able to see how every moment, or most moments, there is a receiving of the self. You're given a self each moment. You're given, in a sense, a burden, an illusion. A burden, an illusion is being given to you most moments. You're being given a self. And then the self that's given is used. Buddha's awareness is awake to the giving of a self, to the receiving of the self,

[08:11]

to receiving an illusory thing, to receiving a phantom self, to receiving an ungraspable self, to receiving a self which you could never find if you really look carefully. And yet, you are given something which appears to exist each moment. Buddhas see this. When you see, when a person sees the gift of a self in the moment, one's awareness is like a Buddha. Then Buddhas also see that the self which is given is then used. It has a function.

[09:13]

Seeing the self given and then seeing the self function, when you see the self function after seeing, or at the same time as seeing that the self was given, you are seeing Buddhas activity. And the seeing is Buddhas activity too. The awareness, the meditation practice of the Buddha is to see the gift, to see the giving, to experience the receiving, and then to experience the giving away. To experience the self being given or received, and to experience the self being given away, moment by moment. This is the same as saying that this awareness is the awareness of one who has nothing,

[10:29]

who doesn't get anything, really, doesn't hold anything, really. Just temporarily something appears and before it's grasped onto, before there's any clinging to it, it's given away. This is the Buddha. The Buddha doesn't have a self. The Buddha doesn't have an other. The Buddha doesn't have anything. And yet the Buddha is receiving everything and immediately giving it away. Receiving and giving away. Receiving and giving away. Receiving a self, employing the self. This is life of a Buddha. This is the Buddha's samadhi. This is what I want to talk about. The Buddha's awareness, the awareness of not getting anything,

[11:35]

receiving without getting, receiving without obtaining, and giving away without losing. Having nothing. You have a few more hours here during this one day sitting to sit here with us and have nothing. And yet each moment receive a life and each moment give it away. Oh, this seems so wonderful to me. To spend a few hours sitting, standing, walking, receiving a self and giving it away. Receiving breath and giving it away. Receiving a body and giving it away. With confidence, perhaps, that this is Buddha's work

[12:42]

and very helpful to everyone. Now, I just thought I might give you a little peek at hell. Hell is, receive an illusion. Receive a self, but not notice it. Hell is, you've already got a self. You got a burden. You came to this place with the burden. Lovely little people came in this room, carrying a self with them. They already had one before they started the session. They had it yesterday. They had it the day before. They had it the minute before they came in the room. They brought it in the room and they're carrying it around during the whole morning, at least up until about 10, 15. Carrying the self, not noticing that it's been given to you moment by moment.

[13:45]

You're just holding it the whole morning, holding an illusion and worrying about it. Worrying about whether everybody else likes it, etc. Whether you got the nicest one in the area. Or worried about whether maybe you have a slightly defective one. Whether yours is somewhat less popular. Whether everybody supports yours. This is hell. Or some other kind of unhappy situation. Maybe some of you are doing that right now. Maybe I am. Who knows? We won't ask you to explain if you happen to be holding on to anything. And then for hour after hour, carrying this burden around, worrying about it. Oh, what an unhappy day. Unhappy day. Meantime, Buddha's compassion is raining down on all of us.

[14:55]

Including those of us who are holding on to something and suffering because of our holding on to something. Buddha's compassion is raining down on us, raining, raining, trying to soften our grip. Singing sweetly to us. How does that go? Anyway. Singing sweetly to us, singing sweetly to us, hoping that we will be able to let go of our attachment to this self which is given to us, to this illusion. Let go of it, let it be used, and then after letting go, be ready to receive it again and let go again. Buddha's compassion coming to us saying, it's okay to have nothing, at least during this one day sitting. You can have nothing. You can have nothing. And yet you can receive and give while having nothing.

[15:57]

And as you read this morning, having nothing, entering this samadhi, it's not like nothing's happening. If I sit here with you, if you sit here with us, having nothing, then your eyes and your heart may open to the great social event that's occurring here. You may be able to see how right now, although I'm the only one who's talking, we're doing this together. But you know, I'm willing to stop talking and have you start talking. Are you ready? What? See, there somebody talked. But maybe that's all that anybody wants to say.

[17:10]

That's okay. We can like unexpectedly say nothing, although that's probably what most people would expect. Because you didn't come here to talk, did you? You came here to be quiet, because you've been talking all week. And on Wednesday night, I said something about this kind of practice, and I wanted to say something here too. And that is that some people come into this hall and practice, for example,

[18:12]

concentrating on their breath or following their breath as a method of meditation. And I just wanted to point out that if there is practicing of breathing, and if there is practicing of following the breathing, then if in that practice of following the breathing there is awareness of receiving the self and using the self, of receiving a self perhaps while following an exhale, and watching a self function while following an inhale, if there is just this receiving and giving of a self while meditating on the breath, this is the way Buddha meditates on the breath. This is the Buddha Samadhi.

[19:15]

But there could also be something else going on. There could be awareness of other things besides the breath. And if there is an awareness of someone's face, or there is the awareness of someone's breath, or if there is the awareness of someone's footsteps, or if there is the awareness of posture, whatever thing there seems to be happening, if there is no grasping of it, if there is no holding it, and they are just receiving and giving it away, then this awareness is Buddha's awareness. But if we practice following the breath, holding on to our self, and thinking of our self which we are holding as doing the practice, and trying to control what's happening, and have a good practice,

[20:22]

this is not Buddha's awareness. This is ordinary holding the self, and practicing while holding a self. This is not really happening. It's an illusion that you're holding the self, and while holding the self, doing the practice. It's an illusion, but that's what it is. It's an illusion. It's a deluded practice. Whether you're following your breath or not, that perspective is deluded. And whether you're following your breath or not, the practice of not holding the self, and receiving the self, in the process of, for example, following your breath, that's enlightenment. To be aware of your body,

[21:34]

to be aware of your mind, without grasping it, is the Buddha's samadhi. In other words, letting go, dropping off a body and mind is the Buddha's samadhi. This, not holding the body, not holding the mind, not holding the self, this awareness is always quietly illuminating itself, itself. Right now, this not holding on to yourself is quietly illuminating yourself. Right now,

[22:35]

this letting go of body and mind is quietly illuminating the living process of body and mind being released. Right now. It's not something that I can make happen, or you can make happen, it's already happening. Will I give myself up to this, to Buddha's awareness? Will I give myself up to having nothing? Will I trade myself in on having nothing? Will I trade myself in on Buddha's awareness of receiving myself and giving myself away? Will I watch and see if I can be given to the samadhi

[23:39]

of receiving and giving? Right now. In a sense, there's one more small detail. And that is, well, it could be called transmission of the mind, or transmission of mind. .

[24:57]

Having nothing, obtaining nothing, holding nothing, giving away everything that you're given, is Buddha. Right? Right? What? So you hear, do you hear? But do you believe? Do you believe what you hear? Hmm? Who yawned? That was a good yawn.

[26:12]

I didn't say right, I said good. Okay, so transmission of mind, that's also the same thing. Having nothing, receiving a self. Every moment you get a gift, somebody's being generous with you. Did you notice? And every noticing that and receiving this self which is being given to you and giving it away very fast, before you have a problem with it, that's called transmission of mind. When that mind is receiving and is recognized, the mind of Buddha is transmitted. Hmm?

[27:19]

Who is extra? There is recognition without a who. Who is one of the things to receive and give away? Did you hear that? Who is one of the things to receive and give away? And if you hear that as a question, then that's as though there's something in addition to receiving and giving away. Did you see that? There isn't anything extra in this process, like a who outside the process looking in. What? Would you say, what do we recognize? If you recognize something that's, if you recognize something and think it's other than you, okay, that's delusion. If you think it's the same as you, that's delusion.

[28:26]

If you think it's, if you understand it's you, and that understanding is you, that's enlightenment. Pardon? Well, actually take away the recognition. Understanding, there's understanding that it's you. Recognition is still kind of like goes with it, it's other than you. Is believing really, I'm lacking better with a booby prize. Is believing a booby prize? Yeah, believing a booby prize, but more like remembering is the gift. Is believing a booby prize? What's a booby prize? Anyway, if you get a booby prize, give it away. So last night I was in the kitchen

[29:32]

and I saw somebody walking out of the kitchen with a very large loaf of bread. Lee Riggs made some challah, and one of the pieces, one of the challahs was extremely long. I saw this person walking out with a long one. Now, unless this person was really going to eat a lot of bread, this challah gets moldy very fast, because it's wet. And I thought, is this person going to be able to finish this whole loaf, even with his help? I thought, I don't know, I'll check. Because I wanted some too. But I didn't want a whole loaf, not to mention such a big one. So I had this plan of seeing if this person would like to split the loaf. This person received the loaf. I wasn't really testing to see if this person was in the samadhi, but in fact it turns out I was.

[30:33]

I was testing it. Are you in the samadhi of receiving this loaf and giving it away? I didn't say that. I just said, do you want to split the loaf? And at first, I don't know if she said it right away, yes, but then there were some other comments in the area, and she sort of said, okay. What? My half is for you. So, then I said, I don't know what I said, but I might have said something. Well, how should we split it? And I think she said, well, let's cut it. I think she said that. And the knives were at some distance. And I said, well, how about just pulling it? And she said, well, okay.

[31:34]

So I pulled. And it was kind of ugly what happened. Not that bad, but anyway, it kind of ripped in a kind of messy way. It wasn't as sharp. I didn't cut it like this. I just pulled, you know. Anyway, I wasn't very happy with the results. And it turns out that neither was this person. This person was pretty unhappy with the results. Part of the reason why this person was unhappy is because she likes to toast the challah.

[32:37]

And when you toast it, it has to be sort of thin, you know, to fit in the toaster. Whereas this end of the challah was now kind of like stringy, you know. So it wouldn't make very good toast. A perfectly good bread, but if you just bite it, but it's hard to toast this kind of stringy, unruly mass. So I think this person was kind of upset about the, you know, untoastability of the end of the thing. And then things got progressively more, you know, horrific. Now, I think one of the key moments which occurred was at the time of the original proposition of,

[33:39]

it seemed okay to have half a loaf, but of how it would be cut, at that point, there was a key point. Because this person wanted to use a knife. And she said so, actually, but she didn't say, you know, I actually would like to use the knife. I don't agree to you just pulling it. She didn't say, you know, I really would like to use the knife. Actually, if she really did want to use the knife, it was actually okay with me. Either way, it was okay with me. But she didn't clearly say, you know, I really would like to use the knife. Now, I don't know, I can't, I'm not sure about what was going on in the samadhi of this other person. But I propose this. That, you know, working towards the samadhi has to do with receiving that self, and then, you know, that wants to use a knife to cut the bread,

[34:43]

to receive that self and use it, right away. You want to split that bread? Yes! You get a self, okay? You get a self. What self do you get? You get a yes-self. Use it. No, you don't get a yes, you get a yes-self. Okay, yes. Okay, I'll hold that one for a while. Wow, this is a nice one. Generous one. Oh, nice little generous yes-self. Okay, now, can I pull it? Well, let's see now. Nice, agreeable self goes with that, I suppose. Well, yeah, okay, agreeable self. Yeah, you can pull it. But actually, I'd rather use a knife. I want to use a knife. I want to cut it for toast. And this is okay. This is okay.

[35:45]

This is Buddha's mind. This is having nothing. Having nothing. I want to cut this and make toast. Oh, I can hardly wait. This is going to be toasted by me, and I'm going to cut those things and cut those things and now that's over. That's over. Over, over, over. No more bread. No more self-cutting bread. I don't have to carry around anything. But if you don't take care of the self, if you don't notice that you get this self that wants to cut the bread and you don't use that self that wants to cut the bread, then you've got problems. Then you've got this self that wanted to cut the bread and now you've got the self which is horrified with what happened when this guy, this guy, this Samadhi tester

[36:45]

pulls the bread apart. Now you've got the self which is horrified. But you're still holding the other one so it's hard to use the new one now. Now you've got two. You've got the nice cooperative self. You've got three. You've got the toaster self and you've got the horrified self. You've got those three. Now you're holding these three, this big wad of selves. And then he says to you, which part, which half do you want? So then, because he asked you that question, now you've got another self. Like, which one do you want? So now you're still holding those two. Now you've got four. So you go like, I don't care, either one's fine. So now you've got that one, like, okay, I'm detached self. So then he says, which one's most beautiful? And then I think, oh, and you get the self of judging which is the most beautiful. Now you've got six. You haven't let go of any of them.

[37:50]

None of them are being used. They're all waiting in line to be used. And you're getting more and more upset over this minor thing, but the thing isn't so important. It's all these selves you're carrying, this wad of selves, none of whom have been expressed yet. They're all waiting in line for their turn to say, yes, I'd really do. I want it cut. I don't want you to rip it. I want that half. So then I took the half which I thought was, you know, the most beautiful. Because she told me to. And then she had a new self called, I hate him. He took the best part of these two ruined halves. And then I don't know how many more there were after I left. But she walks out, you know, with this half a loaf of bread and like all these selves, unexpressed. So this morning she came and started unloading them on me. Take this one and take that one.

[38:54]

And when she gave them away to me, she was starting to feel pretty good. And she's actually, I think, okay now. I don't know. Well, I could like identify her and then I could interrogate her to see if she's okay. Do you want to find out? You do? Okay. Well, I'm not going to. But she can come forward anytime she wants and offer herself as a testament to how happy she was when she came in and unloaded all these selves. She gave them away this morning. And she realized that if she had given the first one away, right away, would have been no problem. If she just had originally said, I want, the first one actually was expressed. The first one was, okay, I'll split it. The second one was underexpressed and started to clog up the line of selves.

[39:55]

The one of, I want to cut it, wasn't fully expressed. So then it blocked the next ones. And the next ones, then, are partly derivatives of incomplete expression. So each moment, fully give away what you're giving, the self you're giving away, and then you're going to get, that'll help you get the new one, and give that away, and get a new one, and get that away. Every moment, fresh, and give it away. You get a fresh self, give it away. Or not even give it away, but let it be given away. Clear the decks. Get another one. Clear the decks. Get another one. Would she have been okay if she gave it away? Yeah. The second self, she would have said, you know. Then she gave it away. And she realized. If after she didn't give it away, then the next one, the next one that came, the next one that came, the next one that came would have been,

[40:58]

is it okay if I rip it now? So first of all, she could have said, I want to cut it. Then comes time I'm going to rip. The next one comes was, don't rip that. She could have said, yikes! Don't rip it! And even if I would have ripped it, after she said don't rip it, she would have been fine, because she would have expressed that. She would have done her job. Your job is not to get control of me. Your job is to express yourself. Even if I'm under control and you don't express yourself, and that's what some people do, is they don't express themselves, thinking that maybe that will keep me under control. Maybe he'll behave himself if I try to pull back. What I mean is, after it was all ripped, and she felt bad about it being all ripped, would she have to express that to you in order to keep it away? Or if she just gave it away like that, and said, oh well, I won't toast it. You won't what? I won't toast it. Oh well, I won't toast it. Well, if that's what actually arose in her, if that actually arose,

[42:00]

but to try to do that, to try to be that, then you're trying to pull in cells, the antidote, the cells you're holding on to. But if it just arose actually, just let go, that would be fine. But you have to express that. You have to give that away. You have to employ it. Not necessarily, but it would have to be employed. The employment is the giving away. And this is going on all the time anyway. You don't have to do anything to make this happen. Just stop holding on to things, and you'll see that actually, they aren't being held on to anyway. Is giving away the same as compassion? Yeah.

[43:02]

And receiving the gift is the same as receiving compassion. So Buddhas and the universe is giving away selves to you and everybody else, passing out selves, the universe is passing out selves to humans, and you're the recipient, and they're compassionately giving you selves to work with. Now the hope is that you'll work with this self, that you'll receive this self without grasping it. That's the hope of the Buddhas. And they're trying to educate us how to receive selves that the Buddhas and all other beings are giving us. The Buddhas and all beings are giving us selves each moment. Right? Haven't you got it? I mean, you've got it, but it's being given to you freshly each moment. So that's their compassion. They're giving away their selves, and when they all give away their selves, we get a self. We get an illusion. We get a phantom thing. And if we don't hold it, that's almost like we understand

[44:05]

that it can't be held. So we practice not holding as a way to understand that it can't be held. And we practice giving away as an expression of understanding that we don't have anything. So receiving our self is receiving compassion. All those beings who are giving us life are practicing. We accept their compassion. When we give away, we enact their compassion. We make their compassion live. And we join their compassion. Pardon? What did I give away? I gave away the person who asked for the bread. I gave away the person who thought it would be a good idea to ask her if she wanted the whole thing. I gave away the person who thought he did a good thing. I gave away the person who ripped the bread.

[45:07]

I gave away the person who listened to her give away all the people she was carrying through the night. I gave away the story to you. But I didn't really give it away. It was just given away. What did you give me? You don't? Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Right. [...] That's why if you keep giving away yourselves, you won't have these selves in conflict. If you hold them, you're going to have this committee all the time. And then you have to have these meetings,

[46:10]

all constantly having meetings and deliberations. This is like, and that's why we hesitate to give up discursive thought, because discursive thought is actually running back and forth between your different selves that you're holding. If you keep giving it away, that means you're letting go of discursive thought. Give away this self. Give away this self. And you won't be holding all the different selves with all the different opinions and all the different agendas. So that's... I think there was a conflict. There was a traffic jam of selves on that occasion. Rather than just a flowing of selves. A constant flow of selves. That can happen too. That's a conflicted self. So you say, I'm conflicted. Hey, Todd, you want to share your bread? Todd says, I'm conflicted. I'm like,

[47:11]

conflicted. And I say, are you done now being conflicted? And you say, yes. That was good. That was like the most conflicted I've ever been. And I'm done with it now. How are you now? I'm not conflicted. Are you ready to give that up? Yes. Now how are you? And so on. We move forward together, like chucking out all these old Todd's, you know. And getting new ones. Flowing together. Neither one of us holding on to who we are appearing to be moment by moment. This is how we, you know, do the thing together, make the story together. But if one of us or both of us are holding on to anything, then it's hard for us to like cooperate and communicate. Because, you know, each of us has two or three selves that were still, that have passed that we're still kind of like worried about. So the quicker the expression,

[48:12]

the quicker the gift, the better. So don't wait till later to express yourself. Yes. Or All the more. You see, as they become negative, they should be given away even faster. No, no, no. No, no. Being angry, expressing that you're angry is not to act out. That's a good, that's an important point. If you're feeling angry, expressing it is not to act out. It's to say, I got an angry self here, who wants it? It's like that. But when you, if you act out of this, if you act out of the self, of the angry self, you're holding it still. So it's like,

[49:14]

I'm sitting here and one of you kind of like insults me and I get angry, right? And I say, hey folks, guess what we got here? We got an angry rebel. Who wants it? And maybe say, well maybe a group of people want it. You know? Maybe no one person wants it. But I got an angry rebel here to give away. That's, I'm saying how to express it. Give it away. What if the expression you have is to give, I still say, give it away. Don't express it. Don't hurt the person. Don't express it as hurting them. Express it as expressing. No. It's the other way around. It's the other way around.

[50:15]

You're not interposing the judging. You're not. Yes. Yes. No, but you skipped over. You edited. But I'm saying, you said impulsively, but I'm telling you, you skipped something there. You didn't tell me that you were angry. You didn't give me the angry self. You gave me the reaction to the angry self. I know, but you missed something. You missed, you held on to a self when you did that. If you're holding this... Yes. It's the direct expression of holding the self. You're holding yourself and the held self is being expressed. It's a direct expression of the held self. Yes. It's a direct expression

[51:15]

of delusion. Yes, I agree. And what I'm saying to you is let go of that self right away. And then you won't harm anyone. Yeah. Yeah. So you receive a self, an angry self, and then give it away. And then see what you have to say. And maybe you have, maybe after you say that you get another self who wants to, who wants to, who wants to say something. But I don't think you'll get the self that wants to hurt someone after you give away the angry self. After you're generous, you're not going to want to hurt. You're going to feel good. But you still may want to say, you know, I was angry. That's actually

[52:16]

a very good example. But you have to catch it and give it away right away. Otherwise, you're coming from holding the self. And even if you do something which you think is good holding the self, it's really delusion. But your example, of course, is more dangerous because you're holding an angry self. We have to give away that angry self. But not throw it out or deny it. Let it go. Hmm? Having a method like addition to what I just said is interposing another holding. People want to know how do you drop away body and mind? You're interposing you as the one who does it. So you've got something holding on to the dropping off process. So, you know, you have to abandon having some kind of agenda, or not agenda, but rule about how to do this. You have to let go of that. And when you let go of that,

[53:16]

then you no longer need to know how to let go. It could be, but not necessarily. What you say is not the definition. Some verbal expression does not prove that you've given the self away. So you can say nice things, or you can say things which aren't necessarily nice, but you think are just pure information. And so you check, we check to see if there's any charge on it, how the person feels about it. If you feel like you're conveying some information and there's no, you have no attachment to it anymore, you let go of the thing. If you feel like that, then you can see how other people feel about it, see if they really feel like you really let go. But you could say it's possible to say

[54:20]

you are making me angry. It's possible to say that having given away that gift. But it's also possible to be holding on to the view that this person is making you angry while you say it. And so the same expression could be coming from holding or not holding. Yeah, I said, I said you could say that, what he just said, even though I wouldn't, I wouldn't usually say that because I don't actually think that way. I don't think people make me angry. I think people do things which I understand in such a way that I feel pain. You know, like somebody, somebody may say to me, you know, you gave a really bad talk this morning and I might understand that in such a way that I feel hurt by that. Rather than

[55:20]

just receive it as my new self. You know, a person who is being, a person who has received a negative criticism. Okay? I may feel hurt by that or I may interpret this as, some people would interpret this as, my practice must really be working for me to get these kind of comments. I mean, I must really be in the Buddha way because people are coming up to me and telling me that I'm like, you know, not a good representative of the Buddha way. Like, I'm home at last. You know, people are coming from ten directions and saying, you are really a terrible teacher. This is like, truly, I've truly arrived in the Buddha land. And so I'm really happy. So people, people keep insulting me and keep insulting me and I feel more and more happy because of my interpretation. But it's also possible

[56:23]

that people come up to me and could say to me, could I say something to you in a slight, something about the way they raise their hand or something and I feel like, ooh, that wasn't very respectful and ooh, that's so painful the way you approached me. You know, I could interpret it as an insult and, you know, and feel really hurt. And then I could even go so far as to say, you made me angry. But of course, it's really my interpretation of what people do that makes me feel hurt. And my interpretation of what people are saying to me or how people are looking at me, my interpretation of that is due to my past karma and so on. So my own way of using my mind tends to make me inclined to interpret things in a certain way. So people who hate people a lot, they're inclined to feel like people are insulting them. and they might even say, after they interpret that somebody's insulting them, then they feel pain

[57:23]

and then they might feel anger from the pain and then they might say, you made me angry. They might say that. But it's possible for even such a deluded person who has this bad background to come through this whole story of lots of years of being cruel and therefore of interpreting everybody as insulting them and feeling a lot of pain and then even thinking, you made me angry. Okay? Got this? This is like a pretty messed up person, right? You know some people like this probably. Are you following this? This is like the person who's really got a bad background and they think everybody's against them and so people come up and talk to them and they think they're insulting and because they think they're insulting they feel pain and because they feel so much pain they lose their patience with that pain and then they get angry and then on top of it they say, and it's your fault that I'm angry, on top of it. They blame other people for their anger

[58:24]

about the pain which they set up by the way they interpreted the meeting, right? This is like super deluded, right? Isn't that super deluded? This is like and aren't there quite a few people like that? Okay, now what the Buddha mind is is bringing compassion to this super deluded person. Now there's other processes which are the processes of this person's karma which are very painful but the compassion is coming to this person and the compassion comes in the form of if this person would receive this self which is saying you made me angry would receive this self which is trying to blame somebody else for what happened if they would receive this and see that they receive it because they do receive it by the processes of karma they do receive it if they would receive it and notice that they're receiving it and give it away then they can still even say that

[59:25]

but there would be no attachment to it and they fairly likely they wouldn't say it but they could say it and then laugh you know and just say I was just kidding you didn't make me angry I used to be deluded I used to be deluded as a matter of fact it was just a second ago that I used to think that way like I was super deluded and I'm not anymore but that's the way I used to talk I used to go around telling people that they made me angry this is my background folks can you believe it? God was I deluded this is called Buddha's mind laughing at and seeing how stupid we are when we hold to ourself our views our whatever when you hold to them we get very dumb but when you let go

[60:27]

you don't exactly get smart you just get released from your from yourself from the burden of carrying it that's all and Buddha's compassion is now functioning in you it's like taken effect the story of the cat that was cut in two yes yes is the shoe on the head similar to the what story? is it similar to the bread story? very similar actually they recently found out that it was actually a loaf of bread that he put on his head and it actually wasn't a cat it was bread it was bread yeah it was actually bread it was yeah that the the Chinese character for bread and cat are very similar and the monks were actually arguing over a loaf of bread

[61:28]

and you know the two sides were each side was holding to their self about the bread so it can be bread or it can be a cat and it can lead to war unless we unless somebody puts does something creative something creative that comes from the Buddha Samadhi which you know helps everybody wake up and laugh off their deluded past to wake up admit how deluded we've been and let go of it not hold on to our not hold on to our thing and a lot of us have really good stuff we're holding on to right a lot of us have really like a lot of intelligence a lot of understanding a lot of us kind of think we know what's right well fine some people don't think they know what's right okay how about just like receiving that self the type that you're receiving right now receiving it

[62:31]

and letting it pass receiving receiving letting go receiving but again receiving and letting go receiving sometimes means that you have something to say something to show something to share in order to facilitate as in order to as part of the process of giving it away so it doesn't mean you don't do anything that there's no activity there is activity but is the activity of generosity which follows the experience of receiving generosity it is the act of compassion which follows feeling the compassion and the customer is always right so if you feel like you're practicing compassion you ask others if they experience it as compassion if you say you made me angry and then you say and you know that was a total I see that as a total joke now I don't really mean that do you experience that

[63:32]

as compassion the person might say no or they might say yeah I do I really appreciate you telling me that and I'm really glad you don't believe that I made you angry I'm really glad to hear you don't think that way anymore thank you that was very kind of you and congratulations to you that you realize that I have not been causing you any problems all these years I'm glad you got over that and you're not blaming me for your problems anymore this is great yes you look worried no what? no self is there no self in the Heart Sutra? I didn't know that but no skandhas no skandhas it doesn't say no skandhas well well I didn't know it gives a list of things I thought yeah okay well it does say no eyes no ears no nose but it doesn't say no skandhas but anyway yes but there's no something there's something there there's no a lot of stuff at what moment

[64:32]

in this process is that the case? at what moment in the process is that the case? like is that what is that experience or is that the state when you give it away or is it just after you give it away or is that state all is that a different situation in this in this Buddha's awareness of of witnessing how the self is given to you how you're given a self as things happen in your life and how that self which is given to you by what's by what's happening in your life how that then is like released and used in that awareness you get to see certain things like the Heart Sutra that's the Heart Sutra is in that vision of this as you start to see how everybody's helping everybody you also see how there isn't really anybody

[65:33]

helping anybody and it's because there aren't really things out there on their own that this wonderful helping process can occur so you get to see that there aren't any eyes or ears or nose or tongues or colors or sounds or smell you get to see that you can't actually grasp these things and that fact that you can't grasp these things that they aren't ultimately findable which is what the Heart Sutra is talking about that's what this Samadhi is realizing bringing into life if things were actually there then they might interfere with each other but because they actually are ungraspable anything's possible we can work with anything we can work with any situation and find some way to bring healing to what has been wounded but if wounded things were really ultimately wounded there would be nothing we could do about it if sick people

[66:34]

were ultimately and truly sick then they would have to be sick forever but they aren't ultimately sick they're only superficially sick there's some great you know Buddha activity going on with sick people that's why Bodhisattvas take care of sick people because they want to help sick people realize this and also they want to realize this I see a hand on the end of an arm raised in the air shall we stop or should we answer that question okay in the making of

[67:51]

others talking to me behind this and not others talking to me I always wondered how terrorists could cause any of that so I've heard it said that the terrorists that were attacked in September 11th had a cause of pain and suffering and in relation to that comment you just made about other things that made you angry in my understanding the way I relate it to terrorists causing pain and suffering was because it was my karma that made me act as a terrorist painful and suffering yes yes that's it

[68:57]

okay I agree and it is possible to get angry at something as an act of compassion it's possible to understand that something inherently cannot be found and yet understand but yet express anger towards that behavior in order to help beings so bodhisattvas people who practice buddha samadhi they talk about beings even though they don't see beings because it's helpful to talk about beings they talk about suffering even though they don't see suffering because they want to benefit suffering beings that they don't see and they can benefit

[69:59]

suffering beings more because they understand that suffering beings cannot be apprehended the fact that suffering beings cannot be apprehended is why they is exactly why they can be liberated But they do talk about suffering beings as part of their work of helping these suffering beings which they don't find. And they do sometimes express anger about behaviors which they do not find, but which they do see appearing, and see other people seeing appearing, and they talk about them with these beings which they do not see. So the Mahayana teaching is that you can help beings while you still think there are some,

[71:06]

you can help them. If you actually think there are beings out there, you can help them, but if you want to save them from suffering, you need to understand that there aren't any beings out there separate from you. So if you really want to be supremely helpful, then we need to understand this.

[71:27]

@Text_v004
@Score_JJ