Respecting Everybody, No Exceptions

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oscar oscar
kelly laurie laurie
tracy tracy
i say me wrong the job

here we are in a situation where
we have with dharma talk
i'm talking
and yet some things i actually would like to talk about

and like to talk about me into some energy to talk about some things some inspiration some
vitality which is up for speaking you see it see the speaking it's it's a foster it's it's coming from some life
and could i ask
korea if she'll be to to her
dan sitting up real high so i can see him over the top of your hand thank you
move up move a bit more
so you see your face
thank you
two and then i and then i know as i come on the verge of talking about these things that i'm interested in talking about
i often remember oh but wait a minute
what about your energy
so then i thought what where does she where does my energy come from my energy comes from
my spiritual energy comes from my spiritual aspirations
and i think yours does too

and then the thought arose in consciousness while we just recited it we just recited am
a bunch of verses about an aspiration ave em thirteenth century
buddhist monk in japan we just recited his inspirational song
i bow it actually says hi in the original i vow from this life on throughout countless lives to hear the true dharma

that upon meeting it
i will renounce worldly affairs
and maintain the buddha dharma and that in doing so the great earth and all living beings will attain the blood away that's it that's an example of an aspiration
and i actually shared aspiration
so it he said it probably in japanese and this is an english translation his his aspiration
seems to be like mine i i share such an ass
i vow to hear the true dharma
and i vow when meeting the true dharma
i will be able to renounce worldly affairs that will be spontaneous worldly affairs means distractions from this true dharma
and then i'll be able to maintain the buddha dharma writing
put down or will be maintained and then all beings
the whole earth and all living beings will realize the buddha away i said example him and of an aspiration a wish i had such a wish
at an example of a prayer i have i have such a prayer i pray
the eye and you will meet the true dharma and that we together will attain a brutal away
recently i was
so i had this new practice of telling you the jokes that come in through my head somebody especially the ones i laugh on liner keep it before you know what they are
so george was recently someone came to talk to me about this thing and i thought were funny it is that this that this recently is just happens over and over again this recently
it's very frequent that people come and talk to me about this what is it it is that people say to me
they said why why do i have such a hard time doing what i'm most wanna do
why do i forget what's most important to me
people come and see me in and we're starting to talk and and i have an i often check to see you know what what what's most important to you cause they're they're talking about there some problem they're having and i would like to know what's really important to them
because that will be
we find that out that will be useful for us to apply to this whatever this problem is
and then we find out what's most important to them and then we use that to take her this problem with they brought me and then they say why do i keep forgetting this
why are i have to come here to remember what's most important
and i
and i say
you can probably guess what i say what do i say
you're not guessing
mr hopkins be patient know they asked me why they forget and i say it's been a chair
but it's the nature of things different debt is to nature of central i don't see that that's sure
the i say i don't know i really don't know why we forget what's most important you know like visit our that's most important and and somebody says boo and nine hundred a week

i don't know why we forget
but what i kind of do have a kind of do now
when i kind of do know
is that way after remember we sort of have to remember it is the nature human things that humans seem to need to remember
remember what wonder what is it do we need to remember we need to remember what we think is most important
it's most important to remember what's most important
why i'm remember is almost most important but it's not just remember is most important it's remembering that remember is most important and remembering what's most important is most important to remember
and it's not just that you're retarded
great zen masters of the past
they had to remind themselves
like this great and master a dog and zingy he had to say i vow i pray i aspire i want you to say that hit rate it
and then he wrote it down and whether people copied it and now for eight hundred years people are we remembering what he used to remember so i have some things to talk about
but the starting point of being able to listen to me is that you are remembering was most important if you remember what's important what i say may fit in to your program
depends on what's most important if what's most important is to have me not talk
we talking might not fit in very well but actually it might fit in really well i don't know
what is your aspiration
for life
what's most important in your life for your life for your life with everybody else's what what's most important
what's your ultimate concern
what's your in most request
what's your deepest desire what is it
i'm not saying it's easy to find enter that i'm just saying
if we lose contact with that although we may still be going to meditation halls
or going and trying to take care of our family and children or take care of our parents or spouse or take care of our friends
which is all part of what we want to do if we lose track of what is most important in the midst of all this caregiving
we're kind of like walking we're we're kind of like going through the motions
if they say we don't have enthusiasm
and we needed fuzzy as azim
for wisdom if you want wisdom for example in the enthusiasm if you want to liberate all these beings have carried him for not just get him through the today but liberate him to day if you want that you need energy
you need all your energy
and you've got a lot but if you don't tap into it
you you're not operating wholeheartedly
i'm not hopper in your i vow from this life on throughout countless lives to hear the your dharma
is that your bow is it my bow
it is my bow do i remember i need to remember do i remember it i want to remember do you ever forget it sometimes do i remember sometimes when i remember it
am i glad yes when i remember just energy start coming yes when i forget it what do i do
i confess and repent
i say
no i'm sorry i i forgot my vow i forgot my aspiration i forgot to source of energy for this life
of whole heartedly working
so that all beings
together with the great earth can attain the boot away i need i need to read fresh renewed recreate re engage with that energy that comes from them that's aspiration that bow
if you go through a whole day without doing it
i don't know maybe you can be energetic all day without tapping into this i don't know i'm not saying you can't but i i think pretty much if you do tap in you will realize after you tap in that you have more energy than you did before you did maybe you are okay before
but if you tap into it than you in a new fully inflate your spiritual heart
that's good now you can now can go to work but still then again you have to do it out in a hall and you can wait me to the next day but it would be okay if you to repeat several times a day
and it doesn't take that long to read to renew it to react since he just gotta to stop for like
it doesn't take a minute necessarily to say know what most important again i am
remember stillness
why i remember stillness
remember stillness my whole body and mind remember stillness
add receivers and practices and transmitted yeah
and i just did i mean i just lived that way
as it was pretty little harder but i had to remember that and i had to read
connect with my aspiration our energy comes from our aspiration
there's other things were involved in that come from different aspirations and those things on
kind of unconscious like for example the energy to protect yourself when threatened you don't have to like a big especially trip to the aspiration to survive that energy to come up so there's lot of
biological survival mechanisms that are plenty of energy
when needed but spiritual energy
his different
you have to go to the spiritual aspirations to refuel
so then the recent example was somebody came to me and he told me basically is plagued with negative thoughts
play with negative thoughts about himself and about other people he is really played
bad negative judgments about bottom his own life and a way other people are
it's really hard on he's a wonderful person who's played who is afflicted by all this negative
you say it and so here like he was played and he didn't know what to do with it so then we found her actually what he wants to do with it
he wants to be kind to all that negative thoughts he wants to practice compassion
he wants to be still with it
he wants to be generous with it he wants to be careful of it
he wants to be patient with it he wants to be diligent with he wants to be calm and open with it
do you all you wanna be that way with negative thoughts
think a lot of you're not in your headset you do want to be that way with negative thoughts with your own with other people's like other people's negative thoughts about themselves other people's negative thoughts about you
your negative thoughts about them is not easy when you think a bad part about so like you think somebody's below average it's not necessarily easy for you to open to that
and be generous with that but don't you want to
yeah well he did want to and he's the one who said why can't i remember this and i say
i don't know i don't know but i do know how
to promote the remembering of it and then a way to promote the remembering of it is by remembering
if you go through a whole day and you have not remembered what your aspiration
what's your most important thing in your life is if you've gone through a whole day i think i was a risky day if you got through great
if you are energetic and whole hard about what you did wonderful
a lot of people cannot go a whole day without remembering what's most important and still be fully engaged in their life
not to mention several days
so we start these talks by recited somebody else's vows and you check out when you say them if you if they're yours you want to hear the true dharma do you want to renounce distractions from the dharma practice from maintaining it
do you want to
realized the buddha away together with great earth big do you want to and if you do you feel some energy for the and if you don't if you don't feel energy for this project
well then go back and say it again
and again and again and again the more you consult your aspiration come more the energy comes like sometimes i might if someone says i want to practice compassion i really do is most important to me when you're ready to practice it know
i'm not i'm too tiring
go back and look at it again what do you wanna do are you too tired for me to ask your question knew or had asked me question was most important compassion
and ready to practice and no entertainment
can i ask you a question
what's most important compassion
are you ready to practice it
asked me again
what's most important in your life and compassion
are you ready to practice it yes
i'm ready to practice with your negative thoughts yes with the most terrible negative thoughts yes
that's what i want to do and that's what i wanna do and that's what i want to do and i'm doing it now
practicing compassion with negative thoughts is a good opportunity to get to get ready to practice with
more challenging topics like reality
reality is not really negative thoughts or positive thoughts is canada is kind of a big girl
but we are planet you know and so a minute be quite ready for that so we're warming up to that by dealing with for example what's going on in our mind
which even that is quite challenging right
so one of the things i wanted to talk about which maybe you're ready for now now the chair
in touch with your aspiration are you in touch with your aspiration and yes okay so one of things i want to talk about as i was i was with some senior practitioners
the people who are you not been practicing thirty forty years and we're talking about something about current events in this world we live in
and one of my friends said
t y
maybe sometimes it's good to speak of the faults of others
an eye maybe i said yeah maybe so
but for me i almost never it's very rare that i think it's good to speak as false of others but for me to do it
and i i observed that there seems to be quite a bit of speaking of the faults of others going on to some extent i feel like hey thanks guys
you're doing it for me so i don't have to do it
but i don't know if the way they're doing it is good
and that speaking the faults of others
the buddha is to speak of the fault in such a way as to promote unity and harmony in the community
speaking of a false of as is he in the boot away is not creating division and tribes
if it does we're not supposed to do it or not supposed to talk in away the courage
here's another job
there's it does is basketball team
that is called the golden state warriors and their own
they're amazing the whole country
by there
athletic performance and their spirit
and it's like
if you praise them if you speak of how good they are
it doesn't create much division everybody kind of ghost yeah
especially boys was composers
aren't they great
didn't take anybody's any guy in street prophecy go warriors you know whatever whatever age or size or color whatever
you can make friends with everybody
crazy that's
but criticizing the minor november
when where is talking about somebody's false
union and harmony when does it make everybody wanted like take care of the person and be kind of the person of that person's gotta fault let's all go help her
i agree
let's go out that person has that problem and everybody agrees random on you're not going to helper
that's stupid you should you should hurt her
so there is a thai navy when talking about somebody's fault and might create harmony and make more people care for that person
some more give that person more compassion such talking about shortcomings might be appropriate
but i don't see i i don't see very many opportunities to talk about the shortcomings i i do see opportunities are talking by pupils
good point i i'm for example i'm i'm glad that people are not been more cruel to each other verbally
then they are
i'm glad people are being more disrespectful of each other than they are thanks for bit you know thanks for being not any more disrespectful than you are to that person
so i don't really feel might i have to be talking about people's shortcomings
i shot i feel like when i need to do is i need to remember my aspiration when people are saying really bad things about each other
sinatra the phase where one political parties attacking itself and another political parties attacking itself
and later will have the political parties attack
and people may say disrespectful things talk about ease people's shortcomings but not to crew are they doing it to create union to some create harmony i don't know if that's what they're doing highly successful i don't know
and if i say something positive about somebody i don't even know if that will create harmon
but i i i do try that occasion with but i almost never see an opportunity to join in the slander
slander is not what we mean by taught me by somebody's spots in a way that
increase harmony slanders way of talking it splits hurts them so i am i wouldn't do that i wonder if remember being respectful
and being still with me
the appearance of language which is not respectful of any living being
so somebody talks in a way that appears to be not respect on them somebody else
speak disrespectfully about the way they spoke disrespectfully an honor
so i'm not telling you not to talk about other people's shortcomings or false i'm just say that when
i almost never can see how to do that in a beneficial way if you can okay
but i am concerned that people will hurt each other that people are hurting each other
that people are scaring each other
the people are frightened of the the language has been used i am concerned about that
but i want to be kind to my concern and kind to those who are concerning me
that's what i that's my clough my bar is to practice to hear the true dharma
and to take care of it in the world where people seem to be
speaking in ways that are at risk anyway
of creating division in the human and non-human community
so i i see many furrowed brows and i really like
i'm too
be still
with all the furrowed brows
i would like to welcome all the furrowed browse and i would like to ask you if you would like to also welcome the for or browse which might be on your face
would you like to welcome your furrowed brow if there happens to be wonder
i would like to welcome my furrowed brow
i think some people would like the for browse to go away
and i would like to welcome the wish that the borough browse will go away
and i also would like to welcome the furrowed brows are continually coming if they do
i'm not trying to stop for browse if people are speaking disrespectful of other people
maybe every time they do that bar browse will for
browse will from the one to are speaking to struggling they may actually have furrowed brows out or no i haven't checked her
in the furrowed brows may continue to come
can we keep bringing compassion to to these concerns we have about the welfare of this country and since we're living in the most powerful country the welfare of this country is the welfare of the whole world
so we're talking been
issues or
immense power
an immense consequence
and we're talking about ways are talking about it that may not be helpful and then ways of responding to that that may not be helpful and then also ways of responding to the situation that might be helpful
what are the ways to respond to it that might be helpful
probably these are our aspirations we aspire to the ways of responding to this crisis to these crises
in ways that might be helpful
maybe i don't know maybe none of us aspire to speak disrespectfully of anybody
maybe all of us wish to confess and repent if we speak disrespectfully of anybody
be maybe we share that aspiration and share the aspiration to confess and repent if we fail at it

and probably most of us can find some memory of where will do and we did speak disrespectfully of somebody
there are many other things i would like to discuss with you but
i feel that
it may be that what i've already brought his duties a big issue
that many of you are concerned about
the issue
the political situation of our country
it may be that such a big issue and that we are so challenge to continue our practice of compassion
torch everybody
compassion towards everybody
it it may be somewhat challenging right
compassion towards somebody who talks like that

trusting that compassion would be beneficial in the face of
no i i do believe in it but i get distracted when that happens i get distracted i forget i forget i don't refuse to be compassionate to this person i just forget about it
in about it and do something else to this person or lost people

so i knew why this is a big issue and the other things i talked about maybe it can wait a little while
well between speaking disrespectful
and speaking
some kind of cool okay so let's say somebody is listening my friend or less a my friend or method even a hop up me
so i've been to i've been drinking alcohol and i drank quite a bit and now somebody says would you give me a ride to mill valley
and i say actually you know i'm not really in a good condition to drive right now
i think i would i would not be a competent safe driver right now another i'm pointing out my own shortcomings okay
i'm just i'm pointing to a fault in myself as a driver and would to one of the way i just said then i didn't feel like i was being disrespectful of my site that i see like i was being disrespectful
i feel like us us
yeah let's just say
and i'm glad that i'm not so intoxicated that i can't even notice that i'm not capable of driving while some happy kind of happy that we got i noticed that and i like and that's good thing about me that i'm that i'm not going to drive you
did somebody else to drive
but i didn't i to i saw my shortcomings and i and i maybe i didn't create division he least in myself at that time or what if somebody else's drinking
and there are about to drive a car how can i say friend i have a request to make of you may i make a request and say yes would you please give me those car keys
so and let me drive instead of you
can i say that
i think it's possible to respectfully ask them to give you the keys and to see i don't want you to drive because she'd been drinking
you're pointing out a shortcoming in their driving ability and you can do it respectfully
and also i say in such a way that other people who might be hearing me also feel my respect for this person and don't care less for this person because of me asking to drive for them
no day he possible even care more for the person and want to protect that person just in there walking and also to talk to this person may be about their product maybe they got a problem to get that intoxicated so the brink i'm not just not just that i care for this person's welfare
and and i'm point and i see a shortcoming in them in their ability to drive but the way i talk to the next other people make feel like i value that person and this is a valuable person who's got a problem we want to help that person so this is an example
speaking of shortcoming in a way that promotes compassion that it shows it and promotes it that's what i would like to do
where did that person refuses to give you know he's okay so may i would you please give me the keys june
my cabinets you find that
you got what you got to try to you thank now i can try be behind like fire
why let's say you can't drive i'm just saying we should let me drive please
no to my heart he took
you could i use my car you drive you home
that i wouldn't have my car
yeah but just as to favorite meet with anybody can kick the bucket
i think that we can keep going with as that's the point
however a medicine to keep going
that's the point is not that i get control of you that's not respectful it's not like i say give you my keys and everybody okay hand over your keys get and everybody's italian her keys it said i
it's third i see a short career in i respect the person
and i talked to them in a way that they don't it's possible you won't even talk if i could talk to your bike is in a way that you aren't even it won't be an issue if you're not going to give my keys you will be an issue that you're going to punch me in the nose forget about the keys what we had a you you feel no been to beginning at the beginning you may feel i talk to you and
disrespectful way it's not even the issue of the driving a car instead i you feel me talking down to you so immediately this division right off the bat but it's possible that i could speak to you in a away and you feel like you know he really cares for me
but i don't want up but i want to drive you people can who who you feel they really care for you they asked for something from you and you don't want to give it
but you really feel them do you feel they respect you and they care for you
even if they would and even if they would say somebody like me i think you're not in good shape to drive right now you're too tired
are you had too much to drink for your are you to sick
the person might be able to bring the topic up in a way that you feel when they're talking to me respectfully but i don't want to do it
it it's not everybody who who's who talks in a the way i'm under their control i still have my agendas
that conversation went on a third person said you know either
the people on the road are at risk yeah also we have to take some action because this person in like intoxicated and or narcissistic court something that is making an dangerous or the community so then i think you can you can bring in a
third person we don't need a third person okay okay i'm many people hundred when i was wondering like we don't need or with the point is a point i'm trying to make and should say is start with respect but respect a key ingredient in respect as you're not trying to control the person
so if i if i asked someone could i drive i don't think you're in good shape to drive for whatever reason
in other words i'm
i'm criticizing your ability to drive and you feel that i respect you in philly respected includes that you don't feel like i'm trying to control you
and you might test my
whether i'm trying to control you by disagree with me just as just to check out to see if i'm trying to control you
and so it goes on
it goes on and on
but you look like you look kinda like for out of touch own of we are
yeah we are you for noticing that
i guess i can see situations where why he said to someone in respectfully out of respect
can we take it as you're trying to control yeah so
so that can inject still engender
yes that sort of a response could you hear that
so so part of part of being respectful to people
when you speak to them part of being respectful is don't try to control them into anything including don't try to control them into not thinking that you're trying to control because almost any suggestion you make to pick then they could say you you're being so controlling you may feel real respect
for the person and you may feel like there's no way i can control this person i'm just making a suggestion i'm just giving a gift you can give people a piece of a piece of biscuit and they can send your so controlling
anything i do with anybody they could feel like i'm trying to control and part of respecting people is being open to them thinking that it open to them thinking i'm trying to control a lot of people have thought that i was trying to control them in my life i need to look at myself if i am really
ready to give up control that your clues
people thinking that i'm trying to control them
yeah okay
and in fact i'm not in control of anybody and some people do think i'm trying to control them but i'm do i think i'm trying to control and this comes back to reality
this has come back to talking to people by shortcomings
and finding a way to do that where you're not talking to them were you actually are looking to see if you're trying to control them
you're checking yourself out and you can also ask them what they think because sometimes you might not feel like you're trying to control them and then i say i think you are and then you might realize you're right i now i see it
and one of the ways to find out if you trying to control somebody is to make a suggestion and then when i don't do what you suggested to see if you're comfortable with that and to see if you're ready to go on
forever with this conversation that your new that you constantly trying to give up control of
and which you never get to control it and you feel more and more enthusiastic as you move forward into the uncontrolled territory
and when do you start to say to enough of this and then pull back the reins and to try to get control again
it may be the case
that you would suggest to someone
that they do something and you do not trying to control them you really have arrived at that level of enlightenment that you relate to people as acts of generosity without trying to control that may happen some day and then they may do what you suggested they not do
and they go ahead and do it and it may be very unfortunate what happens and then here's the story in the midst of doing it and or the consequences they remember the light
that was transmitted to them from the stillness of not trying to control them and they wake up it's too bad that they had to crash the car to wake up
but the transmission was the transmission of i respect you
and i am concerned about your ability to drive and i'm not trying to control you i'm just getting your gift i don't expect you to not drive i don't expect you i don't expect anything i'm just giving you gifts and i'm gonna keep giving you gifts because you can give me gifts and wanted to give you give me is to do something other than
and what i suggest and i i really feel that way you can feel that i feel that when you can feel like i will never abandon you no matter how long you disregard my suggestions i would just keep giving them to and receiving them from you
that's the light
that's that's the dharma that i want to hear and transmit
when it comes down to in some cases seeing a shortcoming and feeling like it would be helpful to mention it
because you know
don't know the person knows that they are not in good shape to drive so you given that gift because you think it might be helpful and maybe and maybe it helps in the form of them giving you the key and maybe it helps in the form of them waking up after they do not accepted to what was given to them
you weren't just giving advice about driving you were giving the dharma
get so the a bunch of other hands
charlie you charlie i think kevin was before mary and justin
well in that kind of conversation is something that happens in my mind is that i started painting my ear the situation is better than yours yeah that's what it does have disrespectful yeah yeah so that so if you think so let's see that's my situation is when can i when can i see a shortcoming
and not think i'm better than the other person it's possible but if i see you have a shortcoming like if i think you're not a
you're not a capable driver right now for because you don't have a driver's license you're when your six year twelve years old and you're sick you're drunk whatever i think you're not a good driver i think that
i can think that without thinking i'd better than you
or i can think that and think i'm gonna do if i think i'm better than you
the joke is
do i ever think i'm better than anyone if i think i'm better than you then my advice to myself is don't say anything to people when when you read think you're better than somebody don't talk to that person
except tell them
and you're ashamed of yourself
because you just had this terrible thought that you better than them
you might tell them that but don't get many advice if you think you're better than them generally speaking don't
if you see them with a forthcoming and you think you're better than a shortcoming i would say work on yourself or quickly it possible
because you are dangerous person now and if you caulking around think you're barely somebody this is a risky situation you can hurt people a lot by just that thought and that's a words come out of it
so you check out do i think i'm better than this person who's drinking visit the any video
some people here are a and we couldn't recover from alcoholism to i don't know if those people who are in recovery yeah that you can tell me yourself later i don't know if you think you're better than the people who are still drinking i would guess you don't i would guess you feel like you're on a par with them
i would guess i used to be a not i am an alcoholic i used to be drinking now i'm not but the people who are drinking or not i'm not better than them it just so i'm not drinking and they are and i want to help them not it's not going i'd better than this person is drinking
but it made me i can drive but i'm not better if i think i am we gotta big then maybe a courtesy guess what i have to tell you i got this i've just discovered that i'm like really in bad shape would you come and you know help me and i think i'm better than you please help me
and then the driving all drivers in my just evaporates and
it might be like this person will help you
you think you're better than me
even a drunken
a can understand that that's ridiculous
the somebody thinks that better than you
yeah so respect means you don't think it can control people
you don't think you're better than them you don't think you're worse than but you can still see that somebody is too young to drive or winter
yes i think you've answered yes i'm the the thing that that's troubling for me though is i might actually make a decision that were i to let this person dry they might actually kill somebody else so i i'm i might think to myself there's no way
in hell that person can drive and then say to them you mind if i could happen to you might think there's no way in hell of this person can drag you might think i thought and i'm not letting it drive and i'm not going let these right now my case you have such thoughts can arise in your mind
you calling
or so far as just a thought yeah not you know the forest on they're not going to drive i'm going to stop them from driving that's the thought k now if soon as possible as bring compassion to that thought
must be still with that thought of him
that's a thought
that's calling for compassion is their compassion responding to it if you ever thought like
yes go ahead and drive
have you thought you cannot drive either one of those thoughts i'm saying we have passed like this all day long yes you can drive know you can't drive i'm say gosh i thought what's the practice the practices bring compassion to those thoughts
if i haven't thought like yes you can drive your capable driver here's the keys
hey did i just missed the chance to practice at that time
yes or no
possibly yes but if i if i if i have this thought like oh this is a good driver and i remember stillness non non practicing with my thinking this person can drive the same with this person cannot drive
the point is our minds generating these startling you cannot drive there's no way and how you can drive yes you can drive thoughts like this are going into your mind all-time what i'm talking about is addressing those thoughts with compassion with the practice
not wait until your thoughts stop and then price practicing because to start are coming judgments of people are coming judgments of people are being cruel to each other arising in my mind
and i must not criticizing was people write off i'm trying to continue to be compassionate towards my thoughts of those people's cruelty towards each other or those people's shortcomings so in that interaction with the person who for you
they would actually drive that you would actually that they would have might happen they might drive and then my getting an accident and hurt someone else and hurt someone else that might happen yes in fact that happens a lot people are driving and hurting each other i'm not in control of the universe and neither is buddha
what's buddha doing with all this all this tragedy
buddhist transmitting the dharma
yes just like about the possibility that knives might be possible to be respectful and compassionate and have stillness and take the keys yeah and risk to the anger and the person might or might not thinking the next room at that could be a reason you
might you might take the keys
from a compassionate place from a non manipulating points from a non-controlling place and keep that sense of connect total devotion and commercial and keep the center and keep the total devotion and connection person and the person might get angry at you pull the keys from your hand get the car and go driving kill themselves
because you're not in control he reached for the keys and you take em but then they just take him back from because you're not in control and it's not because you're weaker
maybe it is maybe they're struggling and take taken back and also you might be able to maintain all the things you said while they take the keys back and then you might take him back from them again
but you take your the you're on you're taking them not to control the taking is coming from giving up control you can give up control you can give up control is still move your arms he's are not my arms are not been moved i'm not a controller these arms i'm not trying to cut
throw these arms i'm not trying to keep them moving
now they're not moving
i said you're not moving and his hand moved i'm not in control of these hands the way they move or not in control them they can reach out and take keys
you know and swallow them
i'm not in control
and since i'm not in control i remind myself up there because i i need to train myself into the reality that i'm not in control
and not being it control is possible that i would take the keys and throw him in the lake
so there'd be no more for no more struggling over the keys i would just have to me
be not controlling with what the person doesn't response to
patches will arise when we give when we try to control actions arise when we give up trying to control actions arise either way actions arise
but given control trying to control ourselves or others is a kind of
the i o l e and c e
it is a kind of dis re suspect
it is a kind of degrading of life
and if people are trying to control
trying to control them to start controlling is the same thing
so we have this situation about world and
giving up trying to control goes along with respecting people
no i don't know his first balkon you okay oh so yummy mummy check this so i am i've tried and continue to try to give up
it helps to control
and someone in place of that and not always not in the same way but but when i have that urgent instead i consider trying to influence situation without where with zero expectation that i'm in control of it
but with acknowledgement that my actions i haven't have an effect and that whatever action i take were not an action to will have some influence on the situation and involved in and so if i feel the urge to control somebody
or something instead i consider
what what won't what will be the influence of this of my action does that does that sound
harmonious to you
that does want to the the awareness that everything you do as consequence sounds harmonious with respecting the situation
and yeah so
i'm talking to you know my words can be offered to you as gifts my words have consequence
and i can also be somewhat aware simultaneously whether i'm speaking to you in a way to control
i do i want to influence you
do i do i want my words to be conducive to and contribute to your peace and happiness i do want that do i want to influence your peace and happiness i guess i do want it contribute to it is influencing it gives they can say okay influencing it
and my controlling your peace and happiness certainly not if i could control peace and happiness
and i would just go ahead and do it and we have to click and but i cannot
but what i can do is i can show i can express my wish to promote peace and happiness and show that
i'm in to show how i respond to people who tell me that they're not at peace and not happen so as i should have for i started people come and say i'm not at peace i'm not happy i'm afflicted
and okay then we got what's most important
now we go there and the we come from their back to deal with the affliction
but i can't control them to do the practice which they actually believe will be helpful
a helpful way to address the affliction
i cannot control them however up in the conversation sometimes although not in control loop sometimes they do start during the practice need to remember what they what their aspiration is they feel energy for it they start to practice that right there and we both know are we all know
and they sometimes even mentioned what am i gonna do when i walk out of the room and i say i don't know
but i'm inspired to do the practice talking to you and you seem to be inspired to do the practice talking to me
so i started this partly conversations because a friend of mine said navy sometimes it's going to speak of other people's faults
i'm open to that possibility
but when i talked about it we ran into quite a bit of problems like
i think you're not good at driving right now haughty bring that up and a helpful way it's can be right quite difficult
is it possible sometimes it is how is it possible this is practice makes it possible
yes and yes and yes yes i would like you to r
speak a more on if not this respect but rather distrust because i feel like when there's distrust between two people or know a woman's whatever it is when this trust is not dare than all kinds of stuff
is happening due to distrust marquez she liked me talk about
distrusted and disrespect
in the relationship to more of a this just try to do a distress is trust
so and jvm raised walker and you at your hand raised in somebody had everything at ambrose
and the other hand raised roman so have you like go
can you remember what you want i remember what you you remember when you i talk about can you remember you want on by who else of there
take johnny can you never can you meet you can you have to leave went on
i've got a mrs play like taking later
when you live in or for
what since she's leaving it for can a colander and the other people are dressed in the next session okay to can remember on your your questions
i assumed that the other questions or as good as homeless
yes to thank you i appreciate the whole conversation appreciate that particular interest that personal
the most likely to talk about today was get water in one situation and yet he started the conversation about the political know and at math but what comes up for me is is it possible to have compassion for someone and not respect them particularly someone with in cow know
why should i should say it impossible i can i can't for me compassionate is totally embraces respect
can you respect some yeah totally embraces respect
compassion does not mean you like what the person's doing if somebody is being cruel
you don't like it can you respect respected can you respect a disease
can you respected disease
i stretch the more respect for any definition some people devote their whole life to studying and disease it's like the main thing they're interested him in their life they put all the energy and studying this disease to looking at respect looking at it or respecting and respecting him they
think this is really an important thing they devote their life to helping people deal with this disease
it's respect his compassion
but can you respect cruelty or yeah it's not respect quality who who can untie the bell strings from the tiger's neck
you don't know the entered the one who tied them to tiger didn't put the bell strings on somebody tied those bell streaks the person who tie them on can untie them
the person who respects cruelty
can liberate beings from cruelty the people who disrespect cruelty have been somewhat cruel and the cruelty grows on disrespect if you're if you're feeling cruel and people disrespecting you feel more cruel not less grow if you're more crew if you'll leave himself if you'll even justified
but if somebody comes up to you and related to you with respect
and kindness it's sometimes evaporates a cruelty like that
like that story i told that the guy with the big guy got on the trolley you know and was threatening everybody on the trolley and my friend was on the trolley with them sitting in the back my friends and martial artist lisa when that guy gets here i'm gonna show him ah but he was scaring everybody on the on the trolley
when he hadn't yet attacked anybody but he's on the verge he was being to everybody without getting and any moment he was going to hit somebody
and the trolley stopped in an old man got on and so or to matters we learned
your men didn't respect this quoting didn't didn't disrespect him he respected him he saw his suffering and he gave him love and canada to suffer and cookie cruelty can be ended with compassion
that's the theory that what brings peace is his compassion not cruelty and disrespect for choice cruelty
these conversations which i'm seeing and see hearing people are being disrespectful to each other and cruel to each other and the other people have been cruel back
the people can the question is will the people see that to people who are less cruel and response to the cruelty and their them the best bet
to the people who are are least degrading and other people that this would we would like leaders who do not degrade people
and stand up to them without degrading
what we're afraid of is that the most degrading person will be chosen himself peter
and we seen examples of it the most degrading people tapping into the hatred of the population and the most degrading the champions of degrading and disrespect to a leader were afraid of the early
and i'm saying can we be compassionate towards but degrading towards degrading speece children little darling little children and sometimes speak degrading lee receipt him
just to speak in degrading to them helped them get over that know it is shows them how to do it again in a more adult fashion or second use later
for now who can be kind to the child who's been degrading to his parents to his grandparents to his brothers and sisters who can teach him compassion
will they learn like that probably not
sometimes they do sometimes the immediately wake up when someone shows them compassion and respect
so if you can wait for the other questions until next session ah and between now and then
check out what you really want in life and get some energy for that and i will come and play with that this afternoon some more yes
i don't think we're going to have a word period i think it's a little too windy and wet
just wanted to confront yeah i think i think go
grk we don't have work paid
charlie do you accept that by the way if you would like to have a work period you do some work that you can do it
as long as you're not you know dropping cement on people's had to other said
the scam
the places where that share
a ba
to save them
design constable