Talk forth as much as you can of love, respect, and of faith. Remove all obstructing defilement and clear away all defiance. Listen to the perfect wisdom of the gentle Buddhas taught through the wheel of the world in Pundit Bhattaraja's spirits. May all beings be at peace. May all beings be happy. May all beings love one another. And may all beings be free. Every day I offer this prayer of peace. I'm talking to you about how the work with beats is doing.

[01:09]

And in mind, who sometimes get angry at Zen studies for not doing careful or mindful. This person is very concerned with the health of our environment. They're very upset that people waste things and use too much electricity or something. And I often work with him to try to support his values, but to help him not get too angry at everybody, to protect living beings from him.

[02:21]

And he appreciates this. He's not totally behind his anger, but then recently he came to me and said that he had heard from someone who teaches Buddhism said that anger is really one of the basic things that goes with survival of the organism. It felt a little justified. But we talked about it for a while, and he didn't hold onto that too tightly. I think it is true, perhaps, that anger is connected to the survival of the living being.

[03:26]

connected with self-protection and self-preservation. But that doesn't necessarily mean that it was conducive to ecological health and peace. But he came back to me a couple days later, and he said he found this quote out of a book called Helping with Health. And the person who has considerable experience trying to work for peace, said that anger and self-righteousness, which is not an exact quote, anger and self-righteousness are like the caffeine and sugar of the peace movement. They're good to get you going, but in the long haul, they're not dependable.

[04:33]

What's really dependable is something much harder than anger and self-righteousness. And that is to live by the principles that you're upholding. And then another friend of mine who also worked for peace said to me recently, he wrote a day that he said, He said, he said, would you keep an eye on the celestial ceiling boxes? Because they said they're going to poke me. So I've been watching the celestial ceiling boxes to see if I can find a . But I found one yesterday. I was consolidating my sunburst C boxes, and I found one by Adelaide Stevenson. Remember last time I was talking about I like bike?

[05:36]

Remember? By the way, what I'm doing right now is I'm initiating you into the treasury of life, where you are entering into this process. If you listen to me, you are entering the womb of life by your listening. OK? This is how Buddhists behave in this space. You have the pleasure of right now listening to the light. So when I was a young boy, I wore this button called I Like Pipe. I lived in a Republican neighborhood, and all the kids wore these I Like Pipe buttons, except for one family that liked Stevenson. Just one. Very brave. I wondered where you were. We're supposed to connect with it.

[06:43]

So in my neighborhood, there was one family that had late Stevenson. They were brave Greeks. We even had an election in my school, little kids, you know, and we voted for the presidency in 19, I guess it was 1952. 1952. And Ike won the election in the school by all but two votes. Now, I still like Ike, but since that time, I've developed a great respect for Adlai Stevenson, the wonderful, wonderful man. And he said, it is often a lot easier to fight for your highest principles than to live by them. And I think that's really true around Zen Center. For example, it's a lot easier to get other people to practice Zazen

[07:50]

make them do it than to do it yourself. I mean, you can't make them do it, but you can try to get them to do it. You can force them to do it. That's a lot easier than to do it yourself. But anyway, this is piece work, OK? And says, accomplishing The great work of peace had no special sign. Only concerned the family style of peasant is most pristine. Only concerned with village songs and festal drinking. What need did they have to know about the benevolence of Yao? or the virtues of shun.

[08:53]

So we don't know what peace work will be. We just have to be honest and express ourselves and live by our vow. Live our vow. But honestly and as courageously as you can. And be ready to admit when we make mistakes and start over. So Master Yuen Mun said, Everybody, all of you, everyone has light. When you look at it, it's in the dark. And it's dim. What is your light?

[10:10]

And the answer for us It's the kitchen pantry. It's the main gate. It's the Buddhist shrine. It's the meditation hall. In the Shobo Genzo, Dogen Zenji's great collection, which again could be said, translated in English as the womb of true dana-ai.

[11:16]

There's a chapter called Light, Kolmyo. Ko means light, and Nyo means wonderful, or subtle, or mysterious, or ineffable. But the compound together means light. Sometimes they translate it as divine light, or spiritual light, or Again, subtle light. But also you can just translate it as light. This word, komeo, is the word which is also used to describe flames around a Buddha statue. If you look up in the Buddha Hall at the Amida Buddha, the standing Amida Buddha, there's flames all around. Those flames are called komeo.

[12:22]

Around his head, there's a halo. But around the halo and around his body are these flames. On the other side of the altar, there is a Tara, female Buddha. And around her, too, she's surrounded by flames. And the center is Shakyamuni Buddha. He has a halo around his head. But these smugglers didn't chip off the flames. So we don't have the flames around that statue. But there's flames around all Buddhists like that. There's a komeo around all Buddhists. All Buddhists are surrounded by this light. They all stand in the middle of that light and listen. This light is the teacher of the Buddhists. And this light comes from absorption in the treasury, absorption in the womb of light, amidst this light, which then the Buddhas learn from.

[13:36]

You all have the light. When you look at it, you can't see it. It's in the dark, and it's dim. What is your light? This light is manifest through the non-doing of just sitting. The non-doing of just sitting. You know, the main initiation into and source of manifestation and ignition of this life is the act of just sitting, which all Buddhas do.

[14:52]

So we come to Zen, and we're told to sit still, to just sit still. And people, they try. And if I look around this room this week, as I have, I have seen people sitting still. However, when people come to talk to me, they often tell me that they're moving. They're moving because of various things. They're moving because they're worried about various things. Or they're in pain, and they want to get away from the pain a little bit. So then they think, well, I'm not practicing sitting still. I can't sit still.

[16:09]

Some people even think that they used to sit still, but don't sit still anymore. My understanding of sitting still is that there's, I guess, maybe two kinds. One kind is the kind that you say you can do, and the other kind is actual sitting still. The absolute just sitting is not something that a person can do. You can't sit still by your personal will. You can sit fairly still by personal will, and some people have already accomplished this. But even those who have accomplished this sitting still by personal will, some of those people are getting tired of that. And not able to do it anymore.

[17:13]

And feel bad about that. Well, it's okay. You can feel bad about it. Sitting still is to give up the vanity of thinking that you could do something in this world. Sitting still is an act of faith. This act of faith can be confirmed, can be verified. You can become certain about just sitting. It is possible to become certain about it. But just sitting is not a matter of personal will.

[18:23]

The just sitting of the Buddha is not a matter of personal will. The just sitting of the Buddha is absorption in the treasury of life. If you come up to any person and you have the concept or the belief that such a thing as movement exists, you believe that movement is real, you will find that no matter who it is, they're moving. If you believe in movement, there's always some movement. The eyes aren't blinking. You know the eyes, they're almost always moving in many ways. They move, they make general sweeps.

[19:26]

And then they make a general sweep, and then they make a kind of, they kind of go like this, and then they make the movement kind of like, I don't know how to describe it. I want to say sawtooth, but I want to have two kinds of saws. One kind of saw is a very rough saw that goes like this. And then another kind of movement is very fine, So the eye moves in big sweeps, and then kind of big sweeps, and then kind of big strokes, and then kind of jagged stroke. And then within the jagged stroke, there's this final spine stroke. So maybe like a real big tooth saw with little saw teeth on the big saw teeth. There's three kinds of movements the eye is doing all the time. Your blood's circulating.

[20:29]

Things are moving around in your intestine. And inside your cells, there's a panic going on. All kinds of little organelles are buzzing around in the very vivid marketplace inside of billions of cells. Are there billions of cells in the body? Billions of cells, right? Is that right? We say billions of cells. Billions of nerve cells, I guess. Billions of marketplaces in this body. You think you can sit still? If there's movement, you can't sit still. But movement is an illusion. There really is no movement. Movement is something which we think up. The present is sitting still.

[21:37]

Sitting still means you live in the present. And the pain which people experience, people ask, is it necessary that there be this much pain or that there be pain at all? And in a way, it's not necessary, and yet it does seem to happen, doesn't it? One advantage of pain is that I can say to you that if you would go to the present, the pain wouldn't reach you. The pain only hurts you in the realm where there's movement, where you see movement. So while running away from the pain, it may be difficult to realize the unmoving present where you practice just sitting.

[22:41]

But it is sometimes possible, even while running away from pain, to realize it. It's slightly more likely, you might say, to realize it when you're not running away from the pain. But Ananda realized this just sitting while he was leaping through the air into his bed. And he was in great pain at the time. In his case, his pain was the pain of not being enlightened. He worked to get enlightened that night. While one person thinks that she's wiggling around and not able to sit still, there's somebody else who's sitting still at that time.

[24:02]

In every moment, there's somebody who's sitting still, who's not doing anything. And there, the light is manifest. This busy one who is either wiggling around or saying that she's relatively successful at sitting still, this busy one will always be busy. Always calculating. This is 99% sitting still. Or this is close enough to sitting still so that I'm satisfied. They can't ask for more than this. Or this is 50% sitting still, and that's not too good. Or this is not as sitting still as I used to sit still. This busy one, this calculator, always is there calculating away how well we're doing, how badly we're doing, how lazy we are, how diligent we are, how sincere we are, how insincere we are.

[25:11]

Please don't forget that there's one who's just sitting. And that practice of just sitting is the practice of the school. If you don't understand this, don't feel bad. It's difficult to understand. But if you don't understand, you may continue to work vainly to still your thoughts, to sit still. The way you really are is already the way we're talking about.

[26:20]

Hejo Zenji, Jogen Zenji's primary disciple, didn't write much of anything in his life, but he did write about this treasury of light. He did write about absorption in the womb of light. And he wrote about that, I think, because somehow, This point, this importance of this light, perhaps was not made clear by the Shobo Genzo. So he said, in the Shobo Genzo, there is a chapter on light. The reason I now write this piece is to get people to fully realize that the face of Buddhism is absorption in the womb of light.

[27:56]

This is the hidden practice, the occult foundation of self-cultivation and the enlightenment of others. The treasury of light is the original source of all Buddhas, inherent in all beings. the totality of all things, the womb of light, of spiritual capacities, of complete awareness. The three bodies of Buddha, the four wisdoms, are all the innumerable concentrations and all the innumerable concentrations of Mahayana manifest From here. The three bodies of Buddha, the four knowledges or the four wisdoms of Buddhas, and all the innumerable concentrations of Mahayana manifest from here.

[29:20]

From this absorption in the treasured life. So as I mentioned yesterday, and actually, I have an apology to make. I told you, I cited the story the wrong place. At the beginning of the Lotus Sutra, in the first chapter of the Lotus Sutra, is where the Buddha sits. And from the white hair between him eyebrows sent out this light. It's not from the soup of the blood before the soup truck, like I said. So I don't know what direction it was facing, but anyway, it was facing north, like I am. The light came out of the eyebrow hairs here in the eyebrows and went east.

[30:28]

to illuminate 18,000 Buddha worlds in the East. And it revealed everything from the lowest hell to the highest hell. And all the bodhisattvas in the congregation, all the monks in the congregation, All the dragons in the congregation, all the many, many kinds of beings in the congregation all wondered, what a wonderful thing. And what does it mean? And Maitreya particularly wondered this. And he thought, now, who in this congregation wouldn't know the meaning of this sign? They couldn't ask the Buddha, because the Buddha had gone into a trance. Didn't want to bother him.

[31:31]

They didn't want to say, what's this light about? They said, who in the congregation would know? And Maitreya thought, well, maybe Manjushri, the son of the King of Dharma, would know. Because he has served billions of Buddhas in the past, he'd probably seen something like this before. They turned and asked Manjushri, hey, what's this about? And in fact, he had seen this before. So he told him, the last time he saw this, that was when the Buddha in that realm, the Buddha named Sun-Moon-like Buddha, was about to teach the Lotus Sutra. So maybe that's what he needed this time. And then he told that story I told yesterday. In the Avatamsaka Sutra, in chapter 9, the chapter's called Awakening by Light.

[32:46]

And in that situation, the Buddha, from the little wheels, the Dharma wheels on his feet, from there, he sent the light out. And that illuminated, instead of, in this case, 18,000 worlds in the East, it illuminated billions of worlds. And in all those worlds that all those worlds were illuminated, there were Buddhas. And in all those worlds with those Buddhas were there that had Manjushris. When this light went out from Buddha's feet and illuminated all those worlds, all the Manjushris in all those worlds together started talking. And they said all kinds of interesting things, like, You cannot perceive the Buddha's truth. The Buddha's truth cannot be perceived. Realizing this is called perceiving Buddha's truth.

[33:50]

This is what Buddhas are always doing, not grasping anything. The light, when it hits those manjushris, causes them to start gabbing like that. They start talking like that when the light gets to them. They say Buddha is ultimately independent, transcending the world, not relying on anything, liberated from all existence, free from defilement, without any attachment, without conception, without reliance. The essence of Buddha cannot be measured. All who see Buddha speak in praise. The light of Buddha is universally pure. It clears away all affliction. Not striving detached from extremes, this is the knowledge of those who have arrived at dustness.

[34:55]

Therefore, the knowledge of Buddhas is light. It is the absorption in light of the immutable knowledge detached from all dualities, ordinary and holy, real and conventional. It is the light of non-discriminating knowledge. It becomes manifest in the non-doing of just sitting. When said, what is your light? He answered, on your behalf.

[35:58]

He answered on behalf of light. He answered on behalf of darkness. He answered on behalf of the people who didn't reply to his question. Thank you.

[38:29]

All Buddhas are standing in the midst of fierce flames right now. Just listen. All the Buddhas in the world cannot understand what just sitting is, cannot know it.

[41:12]

Yet there can be unshakable faith in just sitting and certainty of it. Does there need to be this pain? Not necessarily. But without the pain, it's hard to be certain. Because the pain is a test. Just sitting was realized in all states. But the team, the team puts it to the test.

[42:24]

Feeling the suffering of all beings, the only way you can spawn that is to realize just sitting. And in fact, to be open to all beings suffering is not possible. You cannot dare to open yourself to it unless you realize just sitting, unless you're certain of it. Buddha's being just certain of it can be inconceivably open. They can actually be open to all beings suffering

[43:36]

because they're just sitting. And when you just sit, you open, and more pain comes, which again drives you to a deeper realization of just sitting, which opens you more. which gives you more pain, which drives you to a deeper realization. Until finally, you can actually be open to all beings and realize your connection with them all, even though they may be suffering greatly. Just feel it.

[45:20]

Experience it. And if you're just sitting, it won't hurt you. But if you're moving, That pain could go on forever, and that could rip you to shreds. Your imagination of movement can kill you. You can die of a broken heart if you believe in movement. But if you don't fall for the illusion of movement, your heart can be broken again and again, and it won't hurt you. Only in the present can you live with a broken heart. You don't live in the present, you have to protect your heart.

[46:29]

Cover over it. With the heart broken in the present, It's just broken in the present. It's sitting there in brilliant redness, a brilliant light. No problem. Just broken heart. And connection to all other broken hearts, even the other hearts that are covered with cement. Because the being with that heart believes in motion, believes in movement. But it's difficult to walk and talk and follow through moment by moment on what's happening.

[47:33]

So you feel in your whole body and mind, even though you think you're moving, you feel this stillness. Beyond feeling, you perceive this stillness beyond perception. Because this kind of perception, this knowledge of this unmoving, imperturbable, indestructible, compassionate wisdom, this knowledge is light. And it's not the light which is opposite of darkness. This absorption, this concentration in the womb of light is darkness also. It is what? It is the zendo.

[48:40]

It is the kitchen. It is the front door. I would actually just assume for this group of people, clear this up today. Is it clear? Do you think that there's some kind of movement that you can do?

[49:42]

Do you disagree with me? I mean, do you think there's some kind of stillness that you can do? Do you think there's some kind of stillness you can do which will help you see that there is no movement? And that kind of stillness is a stillness which... Is it complete stillness? No. So sitting here this week... sitting still this week the way you have been sitting still. You are the most likely candidates in San Francisco for me to say this to you. Because you have been sitting still, you understand you can't sit still. Because you've been trying to sit still from the mind to see the movement, you understand that you'll fail.

[50:46]

And of course, what you fail at is doing something other than what's happening. If you think there's movement, there will be movement. And by sitting still, you realize you believe in movement. And it is your belief in movement that makes it impossible for you to sit still. And the more still you can sit, the more you realize that you'll never be able to sit still because you believe in movement. And if you realize that's the source of the problem, you can drop your belief in movement and realize stillness. It doesn't mean that you still don't see movement because you're wired to see it. It's just a matter of holding to that and believing that. And people actually will argue, maybe not you, maybe if the session is over you will, but

[51:51]

Most people walking around will actually say movement is real. It is true movement is real according to our perceptions. From Buddha's point of view, movement is illusion. There is change, but movement can only happen if there is an abiding self going from one change to the next. You believe in the self, then when the self changes, you see movement. You don't believe in the self, when the self changes, you see another self. You don't see movement. Although you can perceive it, you don't believe in it. You see how it's created. Not like you're contradicting yourself again yet.

[53:10]

Well, for example, I mean, I heard you kind of did, but which one did you hear? Well, how can there, why isn't every, is every moment the same moment? Is every moment the same moment? Seeing that there's change, that there's no movement, how can there be change if there is no movement? No movement. You can believe in movement only by believing in self. If there is no self, then how is it? Well, take the example of a pile of cards that have pictures of Mickey Mouse on it. Each card has a picture of Mickey Mouse. They're all called Mickey Mouse. They're not the same. They're not the same Mickey Mouse. They're just different pictures, which we say are the same Mickey Mouse. If you don't say it's the same Mickey Mouse, you take a picture and you just pick them up and you just spin them in your hand, you'll see this thing that seems to be moving.

[54:22]

You'll see it. It'll look like somebody's moving in front of you. But actually, all you're seeing is a bunch of cards being flipped. And that moving one card after another will get the illusion of movement. But actually, what you're seeing is one picture, then you're seeing another [...] picture. You put that series of pictures into an image, into an experience of movement. You could say, well, yeah, but the thumb's moving, or the pages are moving. But just, you know, you could say, I have a screen in front of me. Put a picture up and take a picture away. Put a picture up and take a picture away. You could say, well, the movement, the picture you put up, take it away. But that's not the movement you see. The movement you see is you see something up there moving. Why do you see something up there moving? Because you think that one picture is the same as the next picture, but it's moving. And the thing that connects the pictures and makes the identity is the movement.

[55:24]

Otherwise, you'd see this is one There's another mouth-whooping penny. There's another mouth-whooping penny. There's another mouth-whooping penny. And just each one is a different picture. But you don't see the different pictures up there. You see movement if they're organized in a certain way. And even if you see Mickey running along the street, it's like, well, Mickey doesn't see it. If you mix the cards up, you say, Mickey seems to be very erratic in his movements. He's just sort of quivering. You seem very nervous today. And you rearrange the picture another way. You say, Mickey, running real fast. Organize in a different way. Say, Mickey, running backwards. Right? That's if you believe it's the same Mickey Mouse. Now, if you have a picture of Mickey Mouse, then you have a picture of Donald Duck, then you have a picture of Scrooge McDuck, then you have a picture of Antony, then you don't see movement. Then you say, you just say, right? Something's happening. Something's happening.

[56:26]

Right? You don't see movement. Because somehow, you haven't been able to say, well, actually, there's Mickey Mouse, and there's Antony, and there's Scrooge McDuck, and there's Daisy Duck, and there's Groofy. Well, actually, they're kind of all similar, aren't they? So actually, it's a movement of cartoon figures. Basically, there's a kind of movement in cartoon-ness. There's a cartoony movement there. Even though each picture is not the same being, they're all sort of connected because they're in front And then you can start to see movement again. Start to see, well, Mickey's not that different from Loopy. So actually, there's some movement there. But you don't call a movement of you, you don't call Anthony, Richard, Neil, you don't call that movement. Right? Right. But Anthony, and then [...] Anthony, you call that movement. Because you think it's the same one, right?

[57:28]

show various pictures of Antony, and then flash them up there, and you'll see Antony moving around there. And if you have lots of pictures and they're organized in a certain way, you'll think, well, there's enough continuity there. I think actually I do see something moving there. But you don't call it movement where one picture's Antony, another picture's a lamp, another picture's a mountain range, and that picture's Antony. Well, actually, then you could say, well, there are pictures of mountain ranges and . But then there was the Anthony-Anthony, and I saw some movement there between those two Anthony. And that's actually what we do see. We can actually see movement with a whole bunch of other stuff interposed between, because we're so gifted at imagining this movement. We're wired to see it. So we see it, right? So where's the contradiction now? You got it? Thanks for being goofy.

[58:32]

Yeah. And goofy is kind of dumb, right? But doesn't he have a dog named Pluto? He was even dumber than he is. People are in college compared to Pluto, right? And Pluto's like intelligent compared to turkeys. If you can just be as stupid as a turkey, you can realize just sitting properly. So you should actually try practicing, though you were so stupid we couldn't even understand movement. You can only understand the present, like, oh, this is happening, oh, this is happening, oh, this is happening. But for an intelligent being to realize that kind of means that you have to really be very thorough about what you're experiencing, so thorough that you kind of converge on the present.

[59:35]

And the convergence on the present is a little bit uncomfortable because you have to let go of everything. You can't hold on to anything in order to live that way. So that's why sitting still is a kind of approximation. It's a kind of a warm-up to living in the present where you are not moving because things don't move in the present. If there's movement, you're not yet in the present. Once you realize the present, then You can move. Then you can start acting out the stories. You can start learning. You can start dancing and talking and see if you really remember that you're not moving. So finally, you can go out into the court. You can go out into the marketplace. You can go out in the world, walk around, talk and chat, and still remember that you're not doing anything.

[60:43]

still not be fooled by what's happening. What's happening? Between movement and what? Move? The word MU? A Japanese word? Yeah. It says mu, yes. Mu in Japanese means nothing. Doesn't mean impermanence. It means nothing. So what's your question? Impermanence? Yes. Impermanence... Movement is when you look at the world, which is impermanent, and you attribute a self to it, you will see movement.

[62:02]

Projecting a self onto the world, which is changing, creates the illusion of movement. If the world wasn't changing, and you projected a self on it, you'd just see one self, and that would be the end of that. But since the world is changing, you project the self onto the phenomena you're working with, and you turn that into illusion. You turn it into illusion of movement. See my hand going like this? Can you see a circle? There's not a circle there. That's something you dreamed up. But because you can see this hand turning into [...] this hand, because you can see all those things, and you say it's all the same hand, Therefore, you can make that into a movement, and you can make it into even a circle. But if you stayed in each present moment, you see a still hand, a still hand, a still hand, a still hand. And you might not be able to make that circle.

[63:08]

And if I move my hand very slowly, you have trouble making a circle. You're having more trouble making a circle, right? But my hand's moving so slowly. You see, actually it's moving just as fast as before, just in a different pattern that you're having more trouble making movement out of, aren't you? My hand's still moving, but it's not so easy to dream up movement now, right? Because it seems to be moving in the same place. But it's moving just as much. It's quivering away, constantly jiggling it. But you don't see as much movement, right? Now you think there's more movement. Why? Because it's easier to put those pictures of Mickey Mouse into a movement. But the whole thing is based on you thinking this is the same thing. You're saying, this is the same hand as it was before. You have the ability to say, this is the same hand as before. Because of the way your mind works, you believe in movement. Don't fight that. Don't try to give it up. Just realize that something which you cannot perceive because you can't get outside of the present and look back at it and say, hey, somebody said he's still over there.

[64:17]

There's no perception of stillness because you can't get outside it to look at it. That's why absolute stillness, the stillness which manifests as light, is not an object of perception. That's why it's a matter of faith in the teaching of Zen, which says, just sit. And that just sitting is not doing anything. Anything you do, hopefully it's wholesome. But if you're doing anything, it's not just sitting. The just sitting of the Buddha is exactly where you already are. The just sitting of a Buddha is just to be who you are. That's it. And you cannot perceive who you are because you cannot get outside yourself because you're not outside yourself. That's why I say express yourself.

[65:23]

Same thing. We're just as afraid to express ourselves as we are to sit still. It's the same thing. It's the same instruction. It's the same invitation to jump into the womb of light. No. not doing. You're seeing an illusion. And you see me express myself when I'm not moving. You cannot see that. Expressing yourself is an experiment in realizing Still, you should.

[66:27]

You don't try to practice stillness by using your brain to do what you think is stillness. You don't do it. That's what you're doing. You're using your brain to practice stillness to correct your idea of stillness, and you're all failing. You're all failing at that. However, you're doing a very good job of faking it. If I look at you, you all seem to be sitting still, very still. And people are saying, oh, many of you students are sitting so still. We talk like that. We do. But what we mean is you're doing a good job of pretending to sit still. And if pretending to sit still is one of the ancient practices of the Zen school, to realize after many years of practice that you're failing at that because you're doing it the wrong way.

[67:29]

And all the practices of Buddhism are just to help you be willing to sit there until you finally realize that all your effort has been a vanity. All the practices are just to give you the strength and the health and the confidence to be able to tolerate the truth that every human thing you've ever done is simply a vanity. And that's all that any human being can ever do are vain things. Meantime, There's somebody who's just sitting there in the light, listening. Turning the wheel of Dharma in the middle of these fierce flames of change. Never doing a thing.

[68:35]

Learning from this light. While somebody else is So we don't deny the world of illusion. We have to completely confess it. Confessing the world of illusion, confessing that we're caught up in the world of illusion is necessary in order to be able to see, not as an object, not as a subject, but to see the light which is manifested through non-doing of just seeing.

[69:51]

And so if we hold ourselves back from participating in an illusion, that doesn't work either. As a matter of fact, please participate in an illusion so you can realize more thoroughly that that's not where the solution is going to come. But if you hold back from participating, it's because you still think that participating in a little bit different way would pull it off. You're waiting for the right way for you to do something to make it work. Rather than completely, foolishly entering into the interchange because you know that this is just a play. A movie. Because you know that this is a dream and you're asleep.

[71:02]

Rather than think, no, no, no, I'm awake and I know what's going on. And I see movement and it's really true. And my mother told me so. And I took physics courses about it. So who do you think you are? Well, I think I'm a fool. How about you? They deny a fool. But right in each fool is an unmoving, imperturbable Buddha just sitting there. I don't say put down the fool. I say realize the Buddha. How do you realize the Buddha? By not doing a thing. By really giving up all your foolish activity.

[72:08]

And when you really give it up, that means you keep doing it to beat the bank. If you wish, but you don't have to. So the sitting we're doing here is a wonderful example of doing something which is actually useless. And you people, and I've been joining you, have been doing this useless thing very diligently, very lovingly, very wholeheartedly, very stupidly. Almost six days you've been doing it. And I've been doing it for 23 years. And the more I do it, the more I realize how useless it is.

[73:17]

And the more I'm willing to do something useless, the more I have competence in something called not doing anything but just sitting. The more competence I have in just sitting, the more I'm willing to be a fool. And the more I love everybody, And the more everybody hurts me, and the more I can be hurt because somebody's laughing without even moving. That's why we talk about a smiling Buddha, I guess, rather than a laughing Buddha. Because laughing, I guess, would be moving. But a Buddha just sitting there smiling through all this stupidness that I'm doing. But you're going to start beating me up for this thing if I don't stop.

[74:23]

Anyway, I just want, if you don't understand this, please, let's, you know, do it straight now so you can give up and just practice . Give up your ideas about what it is and just do it. Well, I mean, if you completely devote yourself to, like, following your schedule and sitting, okay, then all I'm asking you to do is give up all your ideas about what you're doing. Okay. That's one of your ideas that you should give up. Did you hear what she said?

[75:26]

She said she actually believed that. This is wonderful. She offers herself as a sacrificial lamb. She says, I said, well, just keep doing it and then give up your ideas about doing it. And she said, well, that still means I'm doing it. See, she has an idea that what she's doing is what she thinks she's doing. People actually think that what they're doing is what they think they're doing. You understand that? People actually think that what they're doing is what they think they're doing. That's what a lot of people think they are. I'm asking you to give up all your ideas about what you're doing, including the idea that what you're doing is what you think you're doing. That's a big one to give up. That's one of the main ones to give up. Another one to give up is that you're doing Buddhist practice. Another one to give up is that you're doing good. Another one to give up is that you're doing bad. Another one to give up is that you're sitting still. Another one to give up is that you're not sitting still. Give up all your ideas about what you're doing and just sit there, negatively, not doing anything.

[76:31]

That's what you're actually doing, is you're not doing anything because you're sitting still. You can't lift a finger. It's like a babe in the world in five aspects complete. It does not go or come or rise or stand. Baba Waba. It's anything said or not. It doesn't know how to talk yet. It has actually given up its idea about everything. That's the Buddha. The Buddha does not believe that what He thinks he's doing is what he's doing. He does not believe that. He let go of that. Meantime, he's sitting there thinking he's doing something. But deep in his heart, he knows he's simply doing something totally useless. And because he's doing something totally useless, he can be totally effective in compassion.

[77:33]

And here you... And what's so great about it? Yeah, what's so great about compassion? Pardon? Oh, I think probably what he said is true. He said, what's so good about compassion? He said, what's so good about compassion? A separate question. The thing about compassion is it doesn't have to be good. Compassion is just simply a natural secretion of one who sits still. They don't even want to say, well, I've got to be compassionate because it's good. They have no choice. It just oozes out of them. If you like compassion, I'm telling you about it. What does Kafka say?

[78:39]

Something like this. You do not need to move from your seat. Remain at your seat. Just listen. Don't even listen. Just wait. Don't even wait. to shut up and the world will present itself to you to be unmasked it has no choice it will roll at your feet in ecstasy But who wants to do a practice where you can't even tell yourself you're doing something good? Or you can tell yourself you're doing something good and go right ahead.

[79:40]

You are. But don't hold onto that. Let go of your idea of what you're doing. Just let go of them all and just sit there. Be quiet, which means while you're chattering away, don't believe that chatter. Oh, now I'm really sitting still. Now I'm not sitting still. Now I'm practicing Buddhism. Now I'm not. I want to get out of here. No, I don't. Now I'm enlightened. Oh, I'm really deluded now. Now I'm attached. Now I'm free. Now I'm happy. Now I'm sad. This is the right way. This is the wrong way. I'm gonna go this way. I'm gonna go that way. This goes on. And the one who tries to sit still is most able to hear this noise.

[80:42]

And when you hear this noise, you have a chance to let go of each particle of noise. And as you let go of each particle of noise, there is the opportunity to be illumined by the undoing of just sitting. And pain's not necessary, but it helps because it shows you. It gives you kind of like a little bit of a hint about how you're doing. Because if your faith in just sitting deepens, you become less terrified of pain. Even though, the strange thing is, there might be somebody up on the surface who is constantly running away from it, who didn't used to run away from it. Isn't that funny?

[81:48]

You understand? It's not funny. It is funny. It's funny. Okay, is it weird? Is it paradoxical? Yeah, it's interesting. It's interesting. That the people who don't believe in not sitting, who believe in our own will, can really sit through a lot of pain and, you know, really fight it. And they're totally harassed by the pain, totally harassed in tremendous tension, having a terrible time, fighting it, but still fighting the fight. People who have realized not sitting and also sitting aren't bothered by the pain, so they don't need to put on the show anymore of fighting the pain and not moving. So then up on the surface, I think, gee, I'm becoming a worse student because I'm wiggling all the time and running away from the pain.

[82:55]

I'm getting zero win. I used to be so strong. Is there anything? So on that sad note. And also, when I tell you this, I'm a little bit afraid that somebody would say, why didn't somebody tell me this before? This is actually all I probably should ever say, but people won't sit and look at me, so I say more interesting things. Or maybe they're not more interesting, but maybe more entertaining. But this is really all the message that there is, really. And you people, after all this time, are willing to listen to it. But I think it's very difficult to understand this. However, it's not difficult to practice it.

[83:58]

It's difficult to understand. There are other practices which you understand more easily, but they're very difficult to practice. This one is not so difficult to practice. As a matter of fact, we've been doing it all along. You just can't quite believe it because Well, if you can't quite believe it, it's because since you don't understand it, you think that maybe it's not true. It's hard to believe something if you can't understand it. So because of that, trying to get your understanding to sort of let you believe it. If you can believe it, then you can be confirmed in it. But it's hard to be confirmed in it before you believe it. It's pretty hard to burn in your Buddhahood before you even believe in it. But I'm trying to get you to believe in this sitting.

[85:00]

And then you will receive confirmation at some point, in some moment.

[85:10]

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