The ocean is the world of dragons disappearing and appearing. These great-hearted ones sport serenely. The sky is the home of cranes. They fly and call out freely? How does it come to be that the exhausted fish stops in a puddle and a sluggish duck nests in the reeds? Is there any way to figure gain and loss Yangshan asked a monk one time, where are you from?

[01:20]

The monk said, from Yu province. Yangshan said, do you think of that place? The monk said, I always think of it. Yangshan said, the ability to think is of the mind and that which is thought of is the realm of elements of self and other. Therein are mountains, rivers, men and women, children, chambers, animals, halls, thousands and thousands of distinctions. You seem to be an upright and stable person, young man.

[02:25]

You seem to have found your seat in this turbulent world of distinctions. So I say to you, reverse your thought and think of the thinking mind. Think of the always reflecting mind. Think of the locus of defilement, the generator of self-cleaning and self-view. Memorize 30 verses. This is the ancient assignment of the lineage. So, in accord with the ancient way, I assigned you the same.

[03:48]

I asked you to renounce worldly affairs to renounce the activities of your thinking mind and study it, to learn the backward step which turns your light around and illuminates the nature of your mind, the nature of your thinking, the nature of the thinking which creates the self. waited till the end of this great practice period to strongly encourage you to do this meditation so you'd have enough background of the terrain of your thinking so you could find some way to keep track of what was happening to you, not keep track of, but track it.

[04:49]

And until you were stable and upright and calm enough to enter the fire of your own mind. And also that you've heard enough warnings so that you didn't go in rigidly and turn the meditation into another fixed thing. So as you see, I feel Yangshan already saw in this monk a stable, well-prepared meditator Otherwise he wouldn't have recommended this rather steep climb, this abrupt and radical reversal and radical disengagement from the usual flow of thought, to turn around and look at So I sensed that you were ready, so I asked you to cut off the mind road.

[05:58]

If you get too spun around as you enter into the realm of meditation on your mind, just forget the instructions and just find your seat again. Crawl back to mom and sit there with her for a while. And when you feel secure and stable, I think you may naturally want to break away and go forth again out into the world and enter again this fiery initiation. So, if you excuse me for using a certain kind of language, in a normal development we start out in a phase you might call bonded to the earth bonded to our mother a kind of static feminine phase and when we've been there long enough we break away from that we break away we break away from mother and this is a dynamic masculine phase

[07:20]

And then we're on our own. We've got ourself separated from mom. We're dynamically strutting about. We get in trouble. We use our newfound dynamic energy to hurt ourselves. And we hear that there's a training program which we sometimes enter half consciously or fully consciously. We enter somebody else's program. We enter a fiery initiation, a tradition where there's standards and there's somebody else's. And there's a way to do it and a way not to do it. And we have to give up ourself. The self can't get in there. Once we've completed that fiery initiation and forgotten the self, then we enter into a dynamic feminine stage where we take this forgotten self and put her to work.

[08:40]

Finally, we spend those years of our lives in great creativity which comes not from self-clinging but from self-liberation, from self-transcendence. And in the end we go back to the static feminine again and die. Because to go back there is death. But hopefully we go back after a life of beneficent creativity based on of fiery initiation. This creative phase is a watery initiation. Now this monk has been told, study this mind, study the mind which makes and projects self, study mind in conjunction with which the self is created and which projects the self on everything.

[09:50]

Study it, study it, study it. Watch how it creates dispositions. Watch how the dispositions come up all around everything that it sees. And in this way, gradually, let the show of all these obsessions and compulsions educate you. as to how this process has come to be by myriad causes and conditions. And little by little see through or into, into and through this self. By this backward step, learn and illuminate the true nature of self. then no more dispositions will be created by you. However, they will keep unloading and fulfilling themselves until they are appeased, until they are at peace, until they are peaceful.

[11:06]

And your experience no longer comes up framed by the results of past self-clinging, but comes out fresh and spontaneous by all of the conditions in the world besides self-cleaning. This monk did the work. He saw through the self and Yangshan said, Now, are there so many things? And the monk said, When I get here, I don't see anything at all. Yangshan said, this is right for the stage of faith, but not yet right for the stage of a person. This is right for the stage of faithfully following this training. You did it. You followed the program. But you're not yet ready to be.

[12:10]

You're not yet a person. The dispositions of clinging were still framing his liberated vision so he didn't see anything existent at all. He brought his attainment around in front of himself and let the dispositions say that it was something. The process The process of liberation from the nature of mind is still going on in this monk. He's gotten part way. But even though the basis is reached and the approach comprehended, true eternity still flows.

[13:38]

He reached the basis and comprehended the approach, but true eternity still flows. For him it didn't flow. He was not yet ready to go. Even though you master the teachings, the truth keeps escaping. Even though it may be genuine and constant, it's still flowing. Like Yaushan practicing zazen, Sherto comes up to him and says, what are you doing?

[15:01]

Yaushan says, I'm not doing anything at all. Sherto says, then are you idly sitting? Yaushan said, if I were idly sitting, I would be doing something. Ksitigarbha says, you say you're not doing anything at all. What is it that you're not doing? Yaushan said, even the ten thousand sages don't know. When I get here, I don't see any existence at all.

[16:05]

That's still knowing something. That's still discriminating. No existence at all. That's okay, don't worry. You just slip back into doing something. That's the same mind. That's a thinker, is still there. re-emerging in response to what it's like at the end of thinking, we have something to say. But he did follow the instructions all the way to the end, this monk did. But when questioned, he flinched. We must never never leave our seat. And while being at our seat forever, by being at our seat for eternity, that true seat flows.

[17:17]

So it's getting towards the end of the practice period. unless only six precious days left. And at times like this people say, yikes, we're leaving, either on vacation or leaving Tassajara for an indefinite period of time. How can we carry forth this practice? Never give up your seat. Wherever you go, stay at your seat. and realize that your seat, if it's a true seat, it constantly escapes you and flows. This is the truth of your seat. It's the truth of your seat in this world. It's also the truth of your mind when it's purified. If you can have a seat like this, then your mind is purified.

[18:24]

Dedicating yourself, vowing to be that way is vowing to have this purified mind. Not have it, but realize it. You already have it. The question is how to take care of it. This monk did very well. He found a seat. He did his work. but he didn't let it flow. As Dogen said, he made partial excursions around the frontier, around the gate.

[19:58]

Or as Karl Bielfeld translates it, he's loitering around the precincts of the gate. Either you've entered fully or you're, I think all of you, close to the gate. It's not far away, this gate. It's only a little bit at most away. It's just still and reversed mind you enter. There's a stream of thoughts running by and running all around us, running up through us and down through us. You've all got that. Follow it. Follow it to where it ends, which is where it starts.

[21:04]

It's offering itself to you. If you sit still, it will demonstrate its function. in your middle years you have retired to your meditation retreat when the spirit moves you you go out through the gate to see things that only you can see you follow the stream to the source you walk upstream to where the water ends.

[22:07]

And you sit there and you watch for the time when the clouds crop up. Or you may meet a woods person and stop and talk and laugh and forget about going home. Sitting here, sitting any place, realizing that whatever is happening is only mind, is mere concept.

[23:13]

that all of nature, and all of nature means mountains and rain and earth and food and people and the recycling area, greed, hate and delusion, but all the things outside yourself, The mountains and rivers of the immediate present are the manifestation of the path of the ancient Buddhas if you understand that they are mere concept and let your mind terminate there. So the mind quality of everything that you see shows you your true self.

[24:22]

The mind quality of everything shows you the limit of everything, how everything is limited by mind. How mind limits everything, how mind makes everything into things. The limited thing, the limit of the mountain and the limit of the earth and the limit of the sky shows you that the sky and the mountains are mind because They're limited, but they're limited because they're mind. The way they're limited is the way I'm limited. They show me myself. And because myself is projected out on them for me. And everything is like that. All of the environment has this mind quality is limiting quality and shows the limited self and therefore shows the true self.

[25:34]

Also everything I see doesn't have mind. My face in the mirror doesn't have mind. My teeth don't have mind. You don't have mind when I look at you. The mountains and rivers and sky do not have mind. and the mindless quality of the sky and the mindless quality of the ocean and the mindless quality of the mountains and the rivers. Show us the limitless side of our mind. Show us a compassion which has no mind. Shows us the deep unlimited objectless compassion which is us. The mindlessness of the mountains shows you your ability to accept whatever comes with an open heart. Because the mountain has no mind and has no limit, the sky has no limit.

[26:44]

Our compassionate mind is like the sky and the earth. When you see the mindless quality of sky and earth, you see the limitless quality of your own compassion. This is called reversing your thought and watching your thinking. Watch how when you think that there's mind in things, that resonates back to you to show you yourself. Watch how when you see there's no mind in things, that shows you the limitlessness of your own self.

[27:49]

What you think of the nature teaches you about yourself. What nature appears to be to you shows you yourself. This is the way thinking works. What is a mountain? Is a mountain a limited thing or an unlimited thing? What is the sky? Is it limited or unlimited? It will depend on what you need to learn. It will be what you need to learn. If you need to accept that you're limited, the mountain will be limited. If you need to understand your limitless compassion, the mountain will be mindless and have no limit.

[28:54]

the piece of junk in the street will be mindless, or the piece of junk in the street will be mind. When you learn that it's mind and understand yourself, this is good, and you see. However, two eternities still flows, and it turns again, and the mind in the piece of junk goes away and the piece of junk is mindless. Question is, do you keep your seat when the world turns from mind to mindless to mind to mindless? When who's out there is you and then who's out there is not you. Everything you see is yourself and then as soon as you accept that everything you see is definitely not you and don't you think so?

[30:08]

If you think so fine then use that thought and move on to not think so. These people you have problems with that's you and right now if I'm looking at you I am looking at you. I do mean you. All those people you have problems with, that's you that you have problems with. Yeah, I'm looking at you now. Now you can, now all those times when you thought I was looking at you, I wasn't, but now I am. All those things out there that you're looking at, they're not you. They're not you. But nothing out there is you.

[31:15]

And you're not you either. If you think they're not you, get liberated from that. If you think they are you, get liberated from that. True eternity still flows. That's why, that's how you can carry this forth beyond this practice period. But you must not move from your place. You must stay here always and come from here. This is where the path comes from. You must stop clinging to worldly affairs, give them up and stay here. And this here flows. This definite place flows. One of Suzuki Roshi's teachers, when he was a young monk studying, sitting in a hall like this, during rain like this, he heard the rain falling

[32:29]

on the building and he heard the rain dripping off the building onto the ground and he heard the waterfall in the distance. And then someone hit the Han. And he went to his teacher and he said, where is the place where the sound of the waterfall and the rain and the Han meet? His teacher said, true eternity still flows. And he said, is there anything beyond that? And teacher said, it's a bright mirror reflecting everything. Bring me that mirror and break it and then we can meet. This is still, you know, we're talking about finding your place in the Buddha.

[34:08]

This is called learning new survival skills. in the Buddha realm. This is called working through the final details of the fiery initiation. Working through the final details of renouncing worldly affairs and forgetting the self to make sure you've really forgotten it rather than now you've made a self out of forgetting the self. This is called really learning what it means for the mind to terminate in mere concept. When it terminates in mere concept, the termination flows. If it terminates and stays terminated, that's bringing it out in front again. Whatever it is, whatever this self that appears, whatever this concept that appears, okay,

[35:09]

However it comes to be. That's our concern. How does that happen? How does it happen? How does the self appear? How does it get projected? How does the concept appear? How does it get made into a thing? How does that happen? What is it that's coming? What is this? Who is this? Is this me? Is this you? Is it a falcon? Is it a storm? Is it a song? Circle around. Take a look at it. What is it? If you stay at your seat, such a boring inquiry will be interesting. If you stay still, you'll be willing to do such humdrum, radically useless work.

[36:14]

That's why you must give up everything and have no place to be but here. Then you'll be interested and willing to actually look to see what is it. You will be interested. As a matter of fact, that will be the most interesting thing. What is it? There's lots of things that are interesting, like Not just Christina's interesting, but certain ways of seeing Christina are interesting. And if those aren't interesting, well, I'll see some other ways that will be more interesting. Eventually, I'll get myself interested. Or she will get me interested. But if you stay still and don't do anything at all, which even the ancient sages don't know what that is, then you will be interested, you will be willing to spend your time wondering, what is it that is coming now? Without saying, well, it's this.

[37:17]

When Mara challenged Buddha, basically he was also challenging him to say, aren't you going to say it's this? No, I'm not going to move into deciding what it is. I'm not going to move. I'm not going to say, this is. I'm going to concentrate on getting my seat before I say anything else. So the cornerstone of Zen is when Nanyue Huiron, who is the teacher of Huh? Matsu. Matsu, yeah. Matsu is a teacher and Matsu is a teacher of Guishan, I mean Baizhang. Baizhang is a teacher of Guishan and Guishan is a teacher of Yongshan, right? Okay, so Nanyue Huairang goes to the sixth ancestor and the sixth ancestor says to him, where are you from, ducky? And he says, I'm from Mount

[38:32]

And the ancestor says, what is it that thus comes? You think they actually talk like that? Of course, he said it in Chinese, right? This is it in Japanese, okay? Nani mo ka? Nani mono ka? Nani mono ka? Mono ni kitaru. Nani mono ka? Imo ni kitaru. Do you think Dogen actually talked like that to people? Or did they just write it down as what they were supposed to be saying to each other? I mean, here's the sixth patriarch, right?

[39:44]

He can say anything. This guy can take his clothes off if he wants to. This is like world-class free person, right? He can do anything he wants. He lived in sewers for months. He hung out with rough-going people. and didn't disclose that he was the leading religious figure in Asia. The most important person in centuries in the Buddhist tradition. He didn't tell him. He didn't have to. He could do anything. So this great person comes to see him and what does he say? What is it that thus comes? That's what he wanted to know. Did you think he said that just so that we would read it later and think that's a good question? Or do you think he actually was asking?

[40:45]

I don't know. Anyway, that's what he asked. And this guy says, you know what he said? He didn't say anything for eight years, is what he said. That's what he said. For eight years, he thought about that. Now maybe during that eight years he did have some answers but didn't write any of them down. Eight years later he says to the sixth patriarch, to say it's this won't do. To say it's this misses the mark. That's shorthand for to say it's this won't do, to say it's not this won't do, to say it's both won't do and to say it's neither won't do.

[41:47]

To bring it out in front of you and say this is what's happening is not the way. That's not true eternity still flows. Blah, blah, blah. To say it's this misses the mark. So the patriarch says, well, then is there no practice? or realization, no liberation. And he says, I don't say that there is no practice and there is no realization. Just like I don't say that there's no misery and no delusion. I don't say there isn't practice and realization. I just say that they must not be defiled. And the ancestor was very happy and said, this non-defiled way has been guarded by all Buddhas.

[42:57]

You are now thus. I am thus too. There is a this happening, ladies and gentlemen. He didn't say there wasn't a this. This is our happening. This is our happening. This is our coming to be. Our being delivered moment by moment. This, this, this, this. Have you noticed them? They are coming. They are coming. But to say that this is it misses the mark. What we do is we sit still with this and we wonder, what is it? We really are in wonder about this, this mountain, this rain, this thawing roof.

[44:10]

dripping in the sun. Our excellent monk, I mean this is a good monk, he didn't say, to say it's this would miss the mark. The teacher said, when you get here, are there so many things? He said, this is not like that. This is no existence at all. He had a real breakthrough, but he said this was it. He didn't have a breakthrough and say, to say it's this. He didn't sit there for eight years and have that breakthrough and say, well, this is it. There's no existence at all. He said, there is no existence at all. Huairang would have said, to say it's this, to say that what I've accomplished in these eight years is it, won't cut it.

[45:21]

I have, something has been accomplished here. I have been liberated. But to say this liberation is it, misses. To say it is bright. As far as I can tell, they were thinking just that a thinking mind just like us, we have a thinking mind just like them. We're studying the same material, we have the same assignments. It was hard for them. They said it was bitter work. They called it going down into the dragon cave for the sake of others. Going down in the dragon cave for the sake of the dragon cave.

[46:26]

Doing this bitter work for the sake of the bitter work. It is bitter work. It's okay to cry out in pain. and listen to yourself cry out. I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to me. I'm not talking to myself. I'm talking to you. I don't know who I'm talking to. I wonder who am I talking to. I wonder who's talking. Such wonder is possible. There's no obstruction to it except saying, this is it, except camping out on the path. So I'm not talking about a perfected state.

[47:46]

I am talking about a perfected state. I'm talking about a perfected state which bursts out of perfection. Which bursts out of perfection and descends into you. Which has bursted out of perfection and has descended into you. That's life. Life has willingly and consciously transgressed into you and me. This is perfection beyond perfection. This is transcendence which has forgotten about transcending and has gotten back into a bag. And the Buddha's triumphal lion's roar is that I will enter every living being and every living being in their fullness is the Buddha nature.

[48:51]

You want to know what Buddha nature is? It's the fullness. It's the completely settled and flowing personhood of each person. So settled that it jumps out of itself. So much itself that it transcends itself. This is perfection, yes, but a strange perfection. Perfection that won't be trapped by perfection, which is free of it. If you hear about these perfect Buddhas and these perfect Zen adepts and get scared, that's because you just put them in a box.

[49:52]

You made their perfection a prison. You shouldn't be afraid of that. Their perfection is more wonderful than that. It's not anything to be afraid of. What you should be afraid of is the wonderful perfection that you make them into. Even these dragons and Garudas, would be afraid of that. What they're afraid of is some great attainment that they would camp out in. Of course, they'd also be afraid of lesser attainments, but they don't get tempted by those. There's always a possibility that some attainment will come by that's so good that you'll buy into it. That's what the dragons and Garudas are afraid of. Anyway, I better stop before I take my clothes off.

[51:00]

in the next moment you can have the anger there and be aware of the of the hypocrisy or not have the anger there and have lust there and be aware of hypocrisy all these possibilities there but basically something one thing's been selected from the available And there's a wide variety of things that can be projected out. are that it can embrace all that's going on in the psyche, that it can differentiate among all the elements, and that it can separate part of itself from itself.

[52:46]

In other words, it can reflect upon itself. Those are the capacities of consciousness. Then it has mental factors which always arise with it, which come in these 64 varieties. one of which is extremely important in creating a sense of self, and that's concept, because concepts are what get projected externally and create knowledge. And this event is pivotal in this next thing, that's the occasion for the birth of self, this reflection. Making something external, you have to make something external in order to have a self, By having something outside, the self goes right up to it and stops, or that thing comes up and stops, and the self starts. External means, now external doesn't mean that, but the self is born from the sense of something outside the mind. That's the birth of the self, that's the birth of individuality, of identity, there's an identity here separate from the other.

[53:54]

process of creating objective knowledge. People want to know, what's the difference between these four afflictions? These four afflictions are directly derivative, also, from the wonderful thing of creating objective knowledge. When the sense of self arises, these four afflictions arise. Other afflictions could arise, but these four are particularly One of them being pride, you're proud of this thing which arose in conjunction with this breakthrough in human evolution. I mean, it is, well, when I say it is a cosmically significant event that living beings on this planet came up with objective knowledge. And the sense of self was born with that event. That thing, that sense, is proud to be born at the same time.

[55:06]

It's kind of like when your hometown teen wins a World Series, you feel proud. When you're associated with beings that have created a breakthrough such that, as far as we know, in no universe, there's no other place that reflectively makes knowledge objective other than in these beings on this planet. And the self is born with that, and then It's proud to be associated with this. It knows, it gets associated with the knowing of this object and it says, I did it. It's proud. That's how pride of self naturally happens, because the self is born at the same time as this breakthrough in evolution. And this making, you could say, we are the way that the universe As far as we know, we are the main way the universe can know itself objectively. Aside from this, I know of no signs of anywhere in the universe where there's some way that the universe knows itself.

[56:08]

Except in us. Now when I talk like that, don't I sound proud of us? That's pride. Pride in what? In the process, but also that I am associated with such a process. In other words, human beings are, I don't want to say inevitably, but we're tanned very strongly towards pride in the self because of being associated with this. And I'll talk to you about how the other four come out of this later. Yes? I have two questions. One, can you just repeat the three faculties of consciousness, the three things that it can do? And can you also, I think I understand the... Can we do that first? One question at a time? The three faculties are, and they have names, Okay? Generally, they use these names. The first faculty is the fact that consciousness is the total cognition or impression, raw impression, of all that's happening in the psyche at a moment.

[57:15]

And that's called chitta, the all-embracing impression of all that's going on, including all the functions of consciousness and all the mental factors. And all the unknown sense consciousnesses are also embraced by this. And subconscious life force, all that is embraced by consciousness. reflected self, and self-reflection of the mind is exactly what creates the self. Those are the three. And then there's zillions, all these zillions of mental factors, each one of which can play into this, and be the queen for a day, so to speak, the queen for a moment, get to be the thing that the mind

[58:21]

And a lie is the basis that the organ uses to get its material to make objects. The mirror is not empty. The mirror all flashes back on some of these mental factors in consciousness. The one thing it can't reflect is consciousness itself. Q. What is the second one called in Sanskrit? In other words, the knowledge of difference. In other words, the mind has the ability to discriminate. You can tell the difference between being life-born, you know, being born of difference. One of the basic facilities or capacities of the conscious is to make a difference from which it was born. And then, to be able to make that discrimination. Because it's born of difference, it can discriminate. there can be discrimination without objective knowledge.

[59:45]

In order to have objective knowledge, you have to reflect that discrimination. You have to take one of the elements that's being discriminated and put it outside, separate from the consciousness, and then you have not just discrimination, but knowledge of discriminating something external, and in conjunction with that, the self is born within the perception. And the alia thing a whole bunch of other material comes in about explaining transmigration, birth and death, sense of continuity, the relationship between consciousness and warmth, physical warmth, and you know, life force continuing, et cetera, et cetera. And another reason we're using the word alaya, although the same thing happens with monadaptu, is that not only, so the center self is born, from this function of consciousness.

[60:47]

These are the three functions of consciousness. This is not exactly a function, this is a result of function. This is two functions here, different and all-embracing. This is separation, and by combining the resource, all-embracingness, with the separation, you get an object. This is a transformation, not a function. In conjunction with In that sense, the major cause of this foreign sense of self is this manas. So manas is called, in the Sanskrit, krishna manas, which is related to the word klesha, which means stain or defilement. It gets a bad name because this wonderful function of creating objective knowledge also creates the sense of a separate self. So it's a dirty manas. even though it made possible this cosmically significant event that we get to participate in and be proud of and all that.

[61:56]

Once this happens, this sense of self-born here, it lays back down in this consciousness. And to emphasize that it lays back down, of the self lying down in it. It's called a laya. It's renamed a laya because the self mainly hooks into it and uses it as an objective support, a basis for its egoistic existence, uses this as basic support. But another reason for renaming this is to emphasize The sense of self is born here, and it hangs on to this. This is what it hangs on to. Because it has no nature in itself to hang on to.

[62:58]

I'll say this again and again, to myself, out loud. The self has no self to hang on to. It wants to hang on to something. It hangs on to a lie. Poor lie, then, has a self to hang on to. And a liar basically now becomes the carrier of this attachment. It's something to attach to and now what's got a hold of it? It's self. Now self's got proof of its continuing existence. Because a liar is dependable. Because when it's active, it's there. And when the mind shuts down, it's even there. So self can go through That's why I think there is something ingenious about developing this Goliath concept this way.

[64:24]

Now, are you going on? How is it now? It's time to stop, right? Do you understand better now? No. No? Yeah. Well, do you understand it works? Well, yeah, I've seen that. And then right in there, when almost the same thing you were going to actually finish, you cut off to another event. And then, I got lost. So for example, I'll give you an example. Here, this last thing you said about speech acquisition, and I wrote it down, and I understood it. Then, you started talking about how you added this other word, TISA, right? So then, TISA and this model Vijayana, Right? And then all of a sudden, so then number three, you assign a word, you know, mono, and then my organ.

[65:28]

And then you were going to think, all of a sudden, these first and second points were combined in some way. It did. I mean, and then I didn't. I'm sure it did. Yeah. But then. It was better when you were saying mono based on the first one. Yeah. But then I lost it then. But then I didn't understand any more what the differences were that you were going to make once you teach. You didn't hear the three points? I'm not going to tell? Well, I know the three functions of consciousness. Well, the thing I'm memorizing, which I know. What are the three functions of consciousness? Um, the mind, the developing, the, uh... No, those are three transformations of consciousness. The attention, the ignorance. Do you know what these are? exercising the fact of a lie of being the basis, the orientation of a three-pronged

[67:25]

Is it nine o'clock? Are you going to talk again about Alaya next time? Alaya? Yeah, I'm going to talk about Alaya a lot. No, because now the question comes, well why? I mean, for me again, what is Alaya exactly so that it can be such a base? I think self-pride has to do with being associated with this are blowing up stars and stuff because of this objective knowledge.

[69:11]

And we can pollute this planet because of objective knowledge. It's very important that this be used correctly and we're proud, in some sense rightfully proud, And what do you, you know, one of the aspects of love is that you love individual. You love individuality. You love particular. You love individual little flowers, and individual mountains, and individual oceans, individual waves, and individual rocks. That's part of what you love. And the self is a precious, very limited thing, and has very definite boundaries, and you love it. But it's an affliction. But there's a strong tendency by the whole setup of the nature of the self that there would be love for it, that it would be appreciated because it is a very precious thing.

[70:35]

I mean, if anything's precious, that's it. That's the love thing. And each one of these, if you look at the nature of the way it was created and the wonder And again, I feel, you know, that you are really listening, and I feel that you're being actually very nicely re-named, that you're evolving through this discussion. And this evolution can be, unless you're quite upright, by you, you will become, you could say, reoriented or disoriented.

[71:40]

When Dharma is actually working on you, it turns you. And that's why you have to be upright in the process of the discussion. And if you can be upright in the process of the discussion, you can be upright in the process of confronting what this discussion is talking about. In other words, you can be upright in the face of a lie. It's our un-uprightness, it's our leanings and excitement and enchantment with this alaya that causes us to not be able to see reality. So the exercise of trying to stay alert and upright in the middle of this discussion can be applied when this discussion isn't going on, because another discussion will start as soon as this one stops. And that will be the very process which we're talking about here. If we can be upright with this process, this process will lose its obscuring quality, and will turn into a revelatory process.

[72:44]

The key thing is, through these discussions and through, as you move into the experience that these discussions are referring to, if you're disturbed, I mean, if they're disturbing and challenging, that's good. I mean, it's good that you feel that, and then you have a way to feel, well, I'm a little off, I'm a little disoriented, I'm having trouble being upright with this. So, in one sense, I feel very happy to hear that this stuff is moving us. In the other hand, I say, regain your presence of mind, sister, and brother. Keep that going through this process, and that'll be great. But I think you are letting this stuff have an effect on you, and it does change you and make you feel that you're losing your footing a little bit, and that means you're listening and that you're letting it in.

[73:51]

It's not so much that this is a different way of seeing things, but rather you are looking at things differently. You're changing your perspective by listening to this material. So, you know, that's good. Yeah? If I felt that I was up to being disoriented and losing my footing, I think I could deal with that. But what I'm feeling is really just mutineering, just constant, and not being able to understand what I'm saying. I guess I would suggest that you say that you'd like to stop the train. Raise your hand and say, I'd like to stop the train. And we'll stop the train. And then when you're ready, we'll start the train again. So maybe if you're quiet for a little while, maybe you can get your feet back on the ground, and then there'll be another, and then you'll have another onslaught.

[74:56]

The thing that Buddha said, that alaya overwhelms people. This material is an onslaught. You are being overwhelmed. And if you feel it now, well, good. And if you think stopping for a little while and being quiet can give you a sense of getting your composure back, we'll stop and get your composure back. And then we'll do it again. If you feel overwhelmed again, what is it that's overwhelming you? You might be able to catch it and say, Oh, there it is. So when you can't follow what I'm saying, what is that that's overwhelming you? What is that? What overwhelms you? Inadequacy? What is inadequacy? I'm feeling I'm left out and separated.

[76:01]

You're separated, right? You're feeling separated. You're a self that's separated. You feel that. Uh-huh. And what is that? Is that the self? Could that be the self that you've discovered? And could it be that you're starting to feel how the self is harassed, assaulted by the other? Okay, that's what you're supposed to be feeling. That's what you're supposed to be feeling. That's what the Buddha says is going on. That's suffering. is you, an isolated, left-out thing, you're left out, is being assaulted by what leaves you out. That's what this is talking about. You are just having a direct experience of what this is saying happens to people.

[77:03]

This is called affliction. Because you have a self-view, that you are over there, that you have some understanding, and there's another understanding which is not yours, which you can't get a hold of. and it's assaulting you to be left out. So this is an example of somebody who felt left out, said, I feel like I'm left out, so we stop for you. And the one who feels left out, ironically, is having a direct experience of what we're talking about. That's why we're willing to stop Because the one who wants us to stop is somebody who's overwhelmed. There's a self that's being overwhelmed, often, who wants to stop the show. This is about selves being overwhelmed. This is about people being overwhelmed by a liar. So you're actually having an experience of this process, and it is painful, and so on and so forth.

[78:08]

I asked you last week, try to get a sense of these afflictions. If you have a sense of these afflictions, there you are. You're being successful in the study of self. The study of self is not necessarily pleasant, because self is not a pleasant thing to have. Because self is harassed by everything that isn't it. And you have an experience of that, and you don't like it. Well, I'm not saying you shouldn't. I'm just saying, try to not be upright and have some confidence that you're actually having an experience of the suffering that occurs to having self-cleaning, to being an individual who is left out of the process. That's how I would set you to deal with this. Okay? So now I want you to be able to go to beddy-bye. I don't know if you can sleep now. Try not to let these demons bother you. Okay, so you guys now ask for help from the Buddhas and ancestors to help us get through this night.

[79:15]

Our harassed little selves, they may not survive. But if you've got one that's being harassed, you're getting in touch with it, with study of the self, you've maybe located yourself, you're doing well. It's not so vague anymore where you are and where you aren't. I take refuge in Buddha. I take refuge in Dharma. I take refuge in Sangha. I take refuge in Buddha as the perfect teacher. I take refuge in Dharma as the perfect teaching. I take refuge in Sangha as the perfect light. Now I have completely taken refuge in Buddha.

[80:24]

Now I have completely taken refuge in Dharma. Now I have completely taken refuge in Hong Kong.

[80:38]

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