Song of the Jewel Mirror Samadhi, Part 2

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someone said to me
i did that
some time and my ah my granddaughter
who's not three when she was about one and a half she was often said i did it and then we would often say you did it
and you know i let it go at that
efficiency but when this person is adults said to me
and i did that
i i i said i thought and i said
that's your story your story as you did that
i'm not telling another story which is you didn't do that
but i hear you tell the story i did that

that the teaching of such us
which has been intimately entrusted to us
is something to take her and one of the ways to take care of it is when we have the story i did that
the job is to be intimate with that story
when i think i did that i am responsible for thinking and sang i did that
but my main responsibility in terms of
curing all ills to join the relieving of suffering is to be intimate with the story i did that
data was i'm as someone who wishes to use every opportunity
as it as a point for relieving suffering than whatever story i think
summit with that story
and if i can be intimate with that story
or if i can enter the intimacy of that story which is already there
then that is the
intimate entrustment of the teaching
and i actually do so i actually have thought sometimes
that i did a good thing or that i did like i actually have bought or i gave a gift
i think oh i gave that gift i have actually thought that
and sometimes i epic oh i took something that was not given
i actually have thought that
and i'm not saying that those two stories are true or false
i'm just saying i have had stories like that
i have heard stories like i was not kind to that person
and but i'm not saying i actually did that thinking i'm not saying that now but maybe i thought i did
maybe i thought i thought i did that
but i don't necessarily now tell you the i think i do my thinking
but it looks like i do
it to me it sometimes looks like i'm moving my hands but i don't actually say that anymore
i just say it looks like i'm moving my hand and it looks like i'm talking to you that's how it looks and i don't say that's true or false
i say being intimate with that appearance relieve suffering and not being intimate with that appearance create suffering
if i think or i'm talking to you
and i'm not intimate with that that's the problem
if i say i'm not moving my hands
and i'm not intimate with that story
that create suffering

and then again as we talked quite a bit this morning when i tell the story i move my hands or i tell the story i'm not moving my hands and somebody might say well the second story was not true
and the first story wise
that's your story and if you're not intimate with that story that the first one was true in the second one wasn't or whatever we how have you if you're not intimate with that story than you're not
be responsible for liberating beings on the occasion of your storytelling
but if you think that's a true story or false story at that moment of your intimate with whatever you think
you are joining the work of the borders

and that requires not turning away from your story and also feel listening to other people's stories not turning away from their story
i'm not touching your story
and now turning a not touching their stories in this way
the teaching which cures all ills is intimately interested in both directions

i also mentioned that i was
talking to one of our elders at green gulch shortly after a grand mal seizure that he went through
and he was a
he was talking to me innocent what does it say what would once i booked or that one of your students wrote and i said he's from chicago i said oh ah
is that the i talking about cultivating an empty field is it yeah that's what does a say in there it says something like in spite of innumerable insults and ten thousand difficulties
the upright cauldron his naturally beneficence
not to mention hidden that's it didn't say in spite of innumerable compliments and ten thousand blessings the a bright cauldron is naturally beneficence
the upright cauldron is what attracted me to zan to see somebody who when you and salter the insult goes into the cauldron
ash and she cooks it intimately
if your complimentary the compliment goes into the cauldron
and she holds it she doesn't touch it she doesn't turn away from it
and from this
intimacy with insults and compliments comes beneficence
if you wish to realize beneficence in the world of suffering then here's a cauldron to take care of
which is which is your relationship with all beings
which includes them all his intimate with them all doesn't turn away from them
doesn't touch them but embraces them all
and i invite jane
special invitation to jane to ask a question or bring up have a congress have a conversation
you're welcome jane

how one of the ways that i heard it
hey or it it might be my good way to understand it he said
he said
that it's not necessarily
there was something other than
it's not so if something other than that that there are times
yeah yeah good point mugu
don't will throw you into ah
throw you into doubt and vacillation and confusion yeah yeah good point
the practice
decide is fear together
when you say when you say see them together what is them
the up to me
okay to see the internet
have an understanding
difference between
the right thing
who do
and also reminds me of i think i heard someone say that they sometimes feel
i don't know forgot to write the impulse to fix was a are urged to fix did somebody say something like that possibly
when there is an urge to fix is you some problem
and then you feel the urge to fix

i i mean i would encourage us to be intimate with the urge to fix
someone may say would you fix me
and you hear that and your response might be
yeah i'll fix you right but actually when the person says please fix me
that's what's happening now
is your hearing please fix me
in other words were interested parte been in other words in a minute please fix me
i'm saying be intimate with listening to please fix me
if i'm intimate with please fix me it's possible that following from that
impulse to fix
however that often also called counter transference
that this person
is confusing you with their mother
and so the answer and and they think they're still a child so they say please fix me i am a mature
and i need i need i need someone else to be fixed
rather than i need a relationship to realize been fixed i need somebody else to fix me and i think this person will fix me so i stated this person fix me
the prisoners is listening if they're not intimate with that
please fix me if they're not intimate with it they will miss
that they have responded to the request
what is the response to the request
what is it
intimacy intimacy is the response to the request
if not please fix me while i want to fix you it's i'm with you asking me to fix you
and that does not collude with the transference to you as their parent and then being a child which they're not now
they're ready for to be responsible that when they say please fix me they can be intimate with please fix me
but they cannot do it by themselves and they will not do by themselves because when they say please fix me there is a response to that request the request is miss put sort of
it's really please meet me and show me that i don't need you to do my job for me
and so when you hear please fix me you know what they're actually asking me to be intimate with them they're ask asking actually asking me to totally listen not to fix
they don't understand that yet so i'm gonna shown by listening to them and can i listened full stop
nah it's possible that following that
you might feel the impulse to fix them
as you might even as possible
and then if that happened which it might you could be intimate with that and no problem and they wouldn't and you wouldn't be doing their job for them because it's not their job for them to be intimate with that impulse because it's yours however they want
they're asking you to be intimate with that and the and the impulse is also asking us to be intimate with
i i feel i want to fix them but that feeling of i want to fix it might not arise it but it could
and again as you say it might just look like it it might not really be that
it's just a story high wanna fix them and it just a story please fix me
so in fact whenever anybody makes a request the not later at that very moment we respond by listening to it and the listening
meets it and in that meeting is the intimacy they don't do the intimacy all by themselves they do it with us and we do not do it by ourselves we do with them in that relationship there's a zen master and the problem is taking care of right them that that turns into a pivotal opportunity
that turns into an intimate entrustment
in both directions
which might be followed by
i get the strange thing i wanted to fix you know where that came from
but i want to be intimate with now neither com because when we're not to say that can never happen i i just had this feeling of i want to fix you or i had also i had this idea i want to fix me
or had this idea i need fixing because i'm somewhat defective i could think that i can think i'm somewhat effective i can think
i'm a bad person i can think that
i can think
i'm a buddha
but when i think i'm a buddha or i'm a bad person
that's an opportunity to be intimate with that thought
and that thought is calling out please be intimate with me hey how about try this on i'm a bad person can you be intimate with that oh yes
how about i'm a stupid person can be intimate with that they are
how about i'm a great person and so great that i'm not even arrogant can be
can you be intimate with that yes but intimate with that doesn't mean rejecting it know you're not really arrogant
no you're not really great yes you are great yes you are is none of that
it's not touching and is now turning away
so there can be all kinds of stuff you name it i'm a good person i'm a bad person i'm a fixer i'm a fixie fix me i'll fix you all that stuff can rise
we're talking but
saving all beings
which means being intimate with all beings which means being intimate with everything i think
and everything i hear you say and everything you appear to me
and you're asking me to be intimate with you and i'm asking you to be intimate with me and when i ask you you respond
and if your intimate with me you know your respond but not know like
think your intimate or think you're responding you know by the intimacy the intimacy know the intimacy is the zen master
how we might sometimes think oh i need to fix that person
it's possible
and we might sometimes think
hallelujah i'm right
that might occur

i know better than you little girl
your three and i'm a wise old man i know better than you
that thought might occur
it's okay granddaddy i can run in the street when the cars are coming
i know better than that
i could think that
or not she can say i'm growing industry i might not think wine on better than you i might say i might think if you're going the street i'm gonna be intimate with you
because i want to live with you in a way that relieves suffering
wherever you go whatever you do i'm not better than you i'm with you
and that's not easy sometimes like if you want to go into street how can i be with you rather than fixing you rather than controlling you
do i trust controlling her intimacy
and when things seemed dangerous we think well maybe later on the campus and into intimacy now control and then later will get intimate
after i save you from getting hurt in the street then i'll get intimate with you
but that's not a good that's not a good habit to get into because just before you start to be intimate another thing comes along which you need to control and to spend all day long and trying to control everything and maybe finn being successful or not who knows but missing the pivotal opportunity
missing the place
where you don't turn are tucked away
which is that place of not abiding which nobody's in control of and everybody is living at right now it is our actual life
you already have it
so please take care of it
i would like to how about you

the teaching of attachments
but it's not just the teaching of it is the intimate entrustment of it
and you have it so now you have this responsibility which is the same as being responsible for every experience you have and being responsible for being intimate with every experience you have
can i say jack patrick one more time
jack patrick
jack patrick
ah i just what i found very uses the word responsible yes when you say you're responsible
yes we're also talking about it in way about been able to respond yeah so rather than the speed have an obligation of being responsible yeah
responding in a sense to your story he he will the pivot at that moment from this year well if you wish
every every story that appears in our mind of every action that appears in our mind we have we have contributed to that somewhat such one meaning of responsible i have contributed to this
we're not to blame because blame puts too much responsibility on us and doesn't realize that other factors are involved but the at the one i'm talking about is the respond the ability to respond in a way that realizes this intimate entrustment and we do respond so we have to
learn how to to catch that and join that response
which is basically to learn how to not distract ourselves from it because it's happening and the way we distract ourselves from the way we do respond to everything we think and everything we hear the way we distract ourselves is by
turning away or touching or getting excited so like again somebody asked for help and you just help them
and you miss it
so then you think you have to move a student comes and says please teach me then
and you think well okay rather than when they said please teach me that this is then this is what sounds like
people say stuff like please teach me then that's what sounds like
when you listen to somebody who says please teach me as in this is like learning them
and if you miss it than you think well let lemme see what should i say
because you missed the teaching already going on than you move
and then your movement then you go into a pit now you do miss it but then on top of missing it now you'd do something so then you're really get in trouble
but if you if somebody says please help me
practice zen and you catch it than you don't move or if you miss it he said i missed it i just that's like i hesitated so it's when you hesitate to move

he hesitate like somebody has said something in me and that was we were practicing zen just then and i hesitated so now i think i have to do something to brag design
that's our responsibility in this context is to learn to not miss that relationship where every moment we are we are asking for the teaching and every moment we are being asked for the teaching
however we cannot see that every moment because sometimes people's the way they ask us is to if they say i'm in pain or they say please fix me doesn't sound that to ask you for the kitchen
but they are and we don't realize that the reason why they asked us is because we asked them for the teaching
and so they said to us please help me because we asked them for the teaching they if they please help me he asked the buddha for the teaching buddhist as please help me
but we may not notice that we asked
sometimes we do notice we say please help me and the buddhist says
are we say please help me
and the book doesn't move and we realize we've already been helped

intimacies where it's at but one of the drawbacks of intimacy as nobody gets to gets to have it
it is just as the way we are and if you try to have it that's touching
very same who there is saying

thank you so much for another day of intimate entrustment
i hope your has encouraged
the practice
the teaching of such this has i am
thank you for encouraging me
may our intention equally expand