Song of the Jewel Mirror Samadhi, Part 5: Wholeheartedly Wondering Who You Are

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we have just recited
an english translation of a chinese poem
which has come for a song how they precious mirror samadhi
and weren't samadi
can be understood as as a state of
cognition a state of mind that is
that is
focused kenya
open and relaxed
joyful and bright state of cognition
and this particular
awareness is an awareness
he could say oh a precious mare but it is also can be said it's an awareness which is a precious mirror it's a precious mere awareness
it's a precious mere concentration
and so we have just recited in english translation and a song about this precious mirror mind

some of their ancestors
i have taught one taught by ah
remember anybody came and asked about
the precious mirror
he would raise one finger
another person and it whenever anybody came
the ask questions
she would turn and face the wall
there was wasn't
there was another person who we say sat and face the wall for nine years
another person when everybody came because he closed the door
but some people instead of doing those methods write poems and sang songs
so we have the song i one of those people but basic this song i think is in the tradition of
a gesture towards
the cognition of the buddha which can be called the precious mirror cognition
it's also called ah
in japanese has also called desires san
which can be translated as sitting sitting concentration

so this could also be called a song of zazen
a song of the sitting buddha
i'm sitting buddha mind
or the standing buddha mind or the walking by mind
and the song starts out by saying something like the teaching of such this
intimately communicated intimately transmitted
buddhism ancestors

intimate communication
buddhism ancestors buddhism and ancestors are intimate communication
so this is a song about the and awareness
an awareness which is the awareness of the borders and the awareness of the buddha's is intimate
entrustment the awareness of the buddha's is intimate communication
yeah usually people think or it he got the is and they've got this teaching which they are transmitting to somebody
which is true
but what they are is the transmitting
they are the intimate communication
and what is being
this teaching which has been communicated is the intimate communication
the teaching can never be separated from the communication from the communion from the entrustment and the buddha's are never separate from the entrustment
unemployed buddhas
i'm not boot us
buddha's are when buddhas are as they are employed and what is their employment their employment is intimate communion chameleon what is intimate communion it is the teaching of such this what is intimate communion it is
the precious mirror samadi
the precious mirror somebody isn't your samadi
or my samadi
our even our somebody it's it's it's our somebody is your comfort samadhi it's my samadi but it's also the mutual entrustment between us
that's buddhas
an ancestors
that's their work and they are their work
when they're working there buddha's when they're not working there's no borders and watered buddha's buddhists are this intimate
there's a song about that
which we have just some
and then it says now you have it
you have this intimate communion
please take care of it

now you have the buddhas and ancestors you had them because you have this communion please take care of it
and you might say how and i would say that's a good start
the question is a good start how can we take care of this intimate
communion which we have
it's not like when you get a little bit more advanced in your practice will give it to you know
now you have it and if you get more advanced in your practice
you'll be able to
take care of it in a more advanced way then you are right now
when you get mine vast in your practice you will become more and more ready to take care of this communion by giving it away
by not attaching to it and so on
and the rest of the song is trying to help us learn how to take care of this
intimate communion which we have

and again it it says turning away from this communion
what touching it
are are are wrong because it's like a massive fire

it if you've been depicted in literary form that's okay
but realized that that's just a depiction and let go of that
if you get excited about it
we have fallen a pit
tim the intimate communion the buddhas and ancestors the precious mere somebody would be be careful
how can you be joyful but not good
this is a way to take care of it another translation is move
and you've fallen a bit
no translation is if you're excited it becomes a pit bull it once it
the intimate communion i don't like that translation that it becomes a pitfall
the intimate communion doesn't become a bit for the moving
the moving towards it or away from it
that is the before
you have it so you don't have to move to realize it matter of fact we need to not move to realize that that's how you take care of it now that you've got it don't move and letting go of it doesn't require moving either
opening your hand doesn't require moving

now you have it
now you have this precious mirror samadi
take care of it by not moving
by not turning away by not hesitating
we've gotta don't hesitate to enjoy it
don't possess it don't reject

i'll start again now this time we talked about a neck the line where it says it is bright just at midnight
but bright at midnight buddhism ancestors are bright at midnight

the intimate communion
our intimate communion with all beings is bright at midnight
and it doesn't appear at dawn
the chinese original of the poem is bright at midnight and then and it says at dawn there's no do
the word for do
also means appear so you could say it's bright just a midnight and there's no do at dawn
this type of do this sweet do
of this intimate communion which is good as an ancestor's it doesn't appear at dawn

the dawn here i would propose to you is the dawn
you know where it's not dark anymore
are we can see things
it's the dawn of ordinary consciousness
we see colors
we even see the color black or even see midnight
it's the dawn where we see other people are we feel feelings or make discriminations where we do com where we do actions
it's ordinary karmic consciousness and this intimate communion does not appear in this consciousness
we're in this room together with our friends
and in this room this room appears
and our friends appear
and the communion does not appear in this plant in this space
the communion does not appear any place
it doesn't even appear in the dark
which may not be a surprise to you it doesn't appear in the dark it doesn't appear in the light
but as shines in the dark
all there is in the dark
it's the shining of this
but it's not an appearance is not an object
it is the relationship the true relationship between subjects and objects
the song is sung
at midnight and their it shines but we don't see it we sang the song at dawn and are ordinary consciousness we sang it did you see it
did you hear it did you sing it
and we didn't say it and the more we sing it the more we become it
and the more we become it the more comfortable with become
with not attaching to appearances
any appearances
including the appearance of the precious mirror

later in the song it says
it's not within the reach of feeling or discrimination how could it admit of consideration in thought
this intimate communion is not within the reach of feeling or discrimination

there is communion there are some communions that are within the reach of feeling and discrimination
like you may feel like we're in communion right now
so you have a feeling of communion or there's a communion nuts in the realm of your feelings hey we're we are like communicating intimately there's intimate entrustment between us i can feel it for a fine
there's another one there's another intimate comes communication that's not in this realm where you're feeling intimate communication it doesn't deny in earnest intimate communication that doesn't appear at dawn does not reject the intimate communion a does a parent on
or that doesn't appear at dawn you think this is not intimate communion that appears at dawn got bronc

there is a compassion which appears
and on there is compassion which appears
an ordinary consciousness
i hope you've all seen it
occasionally appearing
but the compassion are buddhism ancestors intimate communion does not appear
there is a compassion which you can feel and
that's an important and compassion i feel i feel your compassion i feel compassion for for you
that's a compassion which appears in the realm of feeling and discrimination and it does admit of consideration and thought
but does it
two other kinds of compassion and one of them is called great compassion and great compassion his boat as an ancestors and that compassion is not a feeling
is not a discrimination
it doesn't have met of consideration and thought
that is the compassion riches
recall zazen
that is the compassion which we call the precious mirror somebody
you can think about it i can talk about it but it doesn't really admit of bot
and it doesn't know jackpot

now word from our sponsor
sitting meditation
hey zazen we sit today you have been sitting
any sitting you doing a future
could be from now on that the city are doing is performing
in the realm
of your conscious awareness
there's a body which is a period and this apparent body can be used as a form to perform
the body of intimate communion
you're sitting is directly
dedicated are indicating or is a direct gesture towards the ceiling which is the setting of intimate communion

and you're using your body
as a physical opportunity to perform
the teaching of such this
which does not appear in the realm of performance
the realm of performance is the realm of appearances
my hands are raised up my palms are joined my legs are crossed my back is held upright i'm using this body to perform intimate communion
they perform buddha ancestor
i'm using his body to perform the teaching of such this
i'm using this body to perform a great mass of fire
and to not turn away from this body performance
for touch him while performing
and this performance is necessary in order to realize this performance in the realm of appearances
is necessary
in order to realize
this intimate communion
which doesn't appear at dawn which is imperceptible
this perceptible situation
must be performed
in order to realize the imperceptible situation

this precious mere somebody is a guide for all beings it's use removes all pain
this has been for this intimate communion is proposed as
me as the thing which when used in the moves relieves liberates our bags
in order to realize in order to use it
and realize it we must perform it and the place where we can't see it
we must use what we can see and feel and think and say we must use the things of calmed consciousness to perform the ceremony of intimate entrustment
the ceremony of all buddhas
we must do with the practice in order to have the realization but it's also important to remember that what we're doing
is not separate from it
and is also not yet
because it doesn't appear
but what we're doing dies
we're doing
which appears
and were sitting were appearing to sit when we sit we are doing that the practice
and order to realize the sitting which does not appear in this realm the sitting of intimate communion
we must practice can order to realize this
practice we must practice here to realized there and they're not separate
and if you don't have one you don't have the other
and actually you don't have one and you don't have the other
we must practice to realize buddhas
we must practice to realize buddha's wisdom but the practice doesn't realize the wisdom
we must have the goal
a being
in order to be buddha
when we realize the goal the goal disappears
and if when we realize the goal we would have it that's not the goal

it acts as a guide for beings is used removes on pains
although it's not fabricated
what's not fabricated buddhism ancestors are not fabricated
and also they're not
not fabricated
and even know and also the word fabricated
the original characters for fabricated are one character means to have the has a care character me to do something or make something
and so that the poem says it's not doing something
it's not making something is not putting something together it's not that
and this making something is parallel to another two characters which are the characters for not making something
not not doing anything
so in our a in dollars and they have had certain point in doc dollars history they have an expression called how way which is
called non doing or non-action

so it's not action but it's also not not action
but even though it's not action
and even if it is not action
it can speak
did can talk it can sing songs

and so we are singing one of its song dried here
we can sing this song the song comes from
and it appearing at dawn
so we can see it and read it and sing it

and the next part is
although it next party is like facing a jewel mirror form an image behold each other you are not it in truth it is you

it seems now that this facing the duo mere can occur at midnight
and this facing the amir can occur and on

an image
behold each other form an image behold each other
i am not you in truth you or me

at midnight i can't see you
and i can't see me
an add-on i can i can be over here and you can be over there i can see here and there
here i can see
in truth is the there i can see
and also the here i can say is not there i can see
this is the intimacy
and you can perceive it

what does a more fundamental way which we cannot perceive
and even if in the realm of
consciousness you cannot see it
it still you have it it imperceptible way it never
comes or goes it never arises
or stands
anna can talk

and you can perform it
and why you're performing it
in the perceptible way while you're talking about it imperceptible way while you're hearing it and perceptible way simultaneously
it is
at midnight and at midnight however it doesn't go or come maybe in the realm of perception you see oh here's the coming of the image here's the coming of the form here's the coming of me who is you in the coming of you
who who was not me
in the coming of you who is me

so this part of the poem
is written down by a person who
i realized
what he wrote here and he was looking at his reflection in a river in china
he was wondering who he was his teacher told him
just this is it
just this person is it he was wondering about this and wondering about this
and he was crossing a river and he saw his reflection
and in his practice of wondering
what this intimate communion is
he saw his reflection
at dawn
in the water

and he realized that this reflection was not him and in truth this reflection was him
and he sang that any he wrote that bone at that time and then he wrote it again in this poem
mrs excerpt from the poem he sang upon realizing this intimate communion
he had the intimate relationship with his teacher
but at a certain point heat from condition led him to say bye bye to his teacher
they were intimate they were living together intimately he became his teachers successor
and yet he had to leave his teacher to realize the intimacy
in the realm of perception he was a student his teacher was a teacher and they were perceptibly intimate
and he was perceptibly the successor of his teacher
and they were happy to practice together
and yet
when he asked his teacher what he showed how he should describe
good teaching if someone asks him later the teacher said just this is it
and he didn't understand perceptibly
the teacher had she told him
my teaching is our relationship
if someone asks you what my teaching is tell him that my teaching as our relationship and my teaching about our relationship is just this person is it
and the student
the mature student did not understand and he and he left the teacher says you must be thorough going on this you must continue to contemplate this
this is this is the teaching which i which we have had all along all along we have been together
all along we had been good friends
a people as she went my teaching is my teaching as the friendship that we've had
either the time together
and now the way i'd tell you to meditate on it is just this person is it just this is it
and then he realized just this is it and justice is not it

there's the opportunity to
and maybe eventually continuously
you are now me
i am not you to perform that
to perform you are not me and truth i am you to perform that
your body by your body through your body to perform that relationship
to use your body to pay testament to this intimate entrustment to pay testament to honor this these borders
the honor this teaching of our actual relationship

to donate your life
to the performance of an inconceivable intimacy
and at the end he says
practice secretly
working with within like a fool like an idiot
how foolish
to give your life
to a life
that you don't know anything about
to give your life
to this life of buddha
which is imperceptible
which does not
is not reached by feeling or discrimination

the samadi
all buddhas
i'm living in it
and the buddha's have sung a song which sang you have this place where we live
you have this realm you are here to with us all buddhas live in this round but there's no trace of karmic consciousness reaching this light
this radiant
samadhi no consciousness
reaches it
and illuminates all consciousness
things are also moving in the same
radiance the same samadhi
but the somebody has not yet manifested in their consciousness
so it still looks like
things are appearing and disappearing

in the realm where there's appearance and disappearance living beings can perform the ceremony which realizes the realm or things are not appearing and disappearing
and they can never become very knowledgeable about the imperceptible

in the realm of
appearances and disappearances
of coming and going
we have the opportunity to practice compassion which we can feel
and look at
and we need to practice compassion that we can perceive in order to
a compassion which can tolerate
devotion to the inconceivable teaching of such as
if we're not kind
to what appears and disappears if we're not generous and patient with what comes and goes
it will be hard for us to perform
the ceremony
which realizes what doesn't come and doesn't go
what doesn't come and doesn't go
is a guide for all beings and it removes all pain
removes our pain doesn't come and go doesn't rise or stand
it can talk
but there's no traces of consciousness in it mrs hard for us to tolerate it's so unfamiliar we're not used to
being devoted to what we can't get or get away from
but we can train and devote more and more of my life
to the performance of the inconceivable
which is going on all the time imperceptibly
so one more thing i'll say at this point is that i've often mentioned to you for types of spiritual communion
i'll start with number one it's a which is usually have mentioned forth it's that where you feel you feel something like you feel like you want to ask for
the guidance and support of a good friend
maybe even
a buddha friend you request that you want that you perceive that you want that and you feel that you're requesting
and you see and you request and you see someone and you request somewhere you can see
you look in the face of another human being for example
and you say please teach me such as
and the person says i'm happy to do so
you can perceive that you ask you can receive a response a heads perceptible
a buddha
intimate communion
and that's one of the ways that happens and you can you can prove any in that realm you can perform the ceremony you can say
hi i'm somebody who wants to realize imperceptible mutual intimate communion here i am i request that you do this with me
and somebody else was doing the ceremony with you says
okay let's do it or are doing it this is it you're requesting it is doing it i can i affirm that you are doing it as you asked for it
you already haven't
things can appear at dawn
and there's many stories about such
don stores
sometimes you ask
teach me this intimate communion
you can perceive you're asking and that you're here but you don't hear the response years or
where are you doing it it also says in here inquiry and response come up together sometimes we ask for help and we don't notice that at the moment of asking it's already there we think i asked know but it's not later at the same moment
the tears and the teachers eyes are glistening as before you finish your question
it teachers eyes or glistening before you finish your question
it is it the teachers eyes that make the question or the question make the teachers eyes they come up together
but anyway sometimes it seems like i asked and you said okay
sometimes it's like i asked and you didn't answer

other times i didn't ask and you answered
but the most fundamental one is
somebody some people are performing the inconceivable
some people are fools
and they're doing a ceremony in order to perform the actions which they cannot see or rich
and that is going on
and i can't prove it except i tell you
but i aspire to be your friend and i don't know what friendship is
and i'm wondering what is it
and i want trying to wonder it all the time
and if i forget
i practice compassion towards my forgetfulness
what did i forget i forgot to wonder what is this intimate friendship
i forgot to wonder i was tracked i was trying to practice it but i forgot to wonder what it was i was practicing i'm sorry

did you ask for this talk
is the response to requests

get the response come up together with the inquiry
hasn't been bright at midnight
has meant i'd been dark
as dawn been down

how marvelous to not turn away or touch
how marvelous
not to move or hesitate
and in this way to take care of this great massive fire

i invite you to
say something if you wish
did you say some of the time you can also say for the time being

dowd is a welcome have welcome dimension of for example the performance
of buddha's and ancestors
so we
have opportunity to perform as and ancestors
de cette and ancestors to walk would as an ancestors we had the opportunity to perform intimate
intimate entrustment so intimate that no one no one can get a hold of it no one can get a hold of this intimacy but it would be natural then we'd have doubt about that because we don't know what the intimacy is it's now
not that i doubt that this is what i want to be devoted to it just it i'm devoted to something that i don't really know what it is
so that's a doubt i doubt that i doubt that i am a bodhisattva i wanna be a bodhisattva but i doubt that i am but i also it's not that i doubt that i am and i know i'm not
i don't even know if i'm not
i wouldn't even know how to prove that i wasn't a bodhisattva because i really don't know what a bodhisattva is it's like my nature as a human being is that i wanna be something
i wanna be my nature
but my nature is that i never can really be sure of my nature
so doubt is this is great dot this is not skeptical this is not corrosive doubt this is a doubt that gives energy
which frees us from rigidity about what we're doing
we don't want to be rigid about this intimate communion well it's not too difficult not to be rigid about it when you root when you happy to admit i don't know what it is i'm a for this is a fools
school well we're trying to realize something that's inconceivable
and that is beyond our conception and that's what freeze beings from suffering because suffering occurs in the realm of conception
so doubt is part of it

you can gauge but as you gauge than used you you say i don't know if hydrant obligations occasions working
i think i again that's why we need to be compassionate in the realm of where were uncomfortable we need to make ourselves as comfortable as possible so we can open to this potentially insecure vulnerable uncomfortable situation these are the
our nature is that we would
we probably want to get a whole of things
and also we
we want a truly realize who we are but in order to truly realize who we are
we have to do something uncomfortable called letting go of and what we think is making is comfortable

does become second nature is it what is what becomes second nature letting go
it's actually our first nature our first nature is letting our second nature is holding on
and what the we have to be compassionate towards are holding on in order to open up to our real nature which doesn't hold on

doris view
debate is completely open to not knowing
and doubt is what somewhere down that
totally maybe not

i can see that but also see that being totally open to not knowing this thing that's faith and doubt is not only might
doubt his faith as i'm open to not knowing and doubt is i don't know
doubt is actually i think one is i'm open to not knowing the other winners actually i don't so dad is like more like whereas new hands and yeah i don't
faith is like willing to raise your hand
and feel good about being being a fool
and not not a doubt is i am an idiot i am a fool okay and part of compassion is to be honest about that and faith is i believe that that would be appropriate phases phase his faith and doubt faith is like i believe i should be open to
not knowing what i'm talking about
and that and that faith to being open to not knowing what i'm talking about for example i'm talking about being a human being i don't know who i am and i don't know what a human being is and i'm totally concern with this and i also concerned for other people also the really become human beings in the true sense
i'm totally concerned about this and i'm also open to not knowing what i'm talking about and also i don't know what i'm talking about
and i don't even know to what extent i don't know what i was getting at is it
sometimes fbi i doubt is in opposition to fade right
sort of on the way to be starting the starting exactly
why you can also see that they're on the way to each other
they both moving their mood so you have faith in i know what wanting to be who you really are
you think that would be a good than to work on as such since you're who you are you think might be good to realize that
some people are really suffering some people are depressed
right and sometimes the people are depressed good little break from depression
i mean like not just reducing it but it's kind of goes away for a little while and then they're like here they are not depressed
then what do they want to do
when we want to become a human being it's hard to work i'm becoming a human being when you're depressed if not impossible
but when you're feeling good is still there's something more you wanna do you wanna really become
i don't know what we want to become this who you are and who you are is rhoda who you are is intimate communion that's who you are
can you can we yeah i asked what i want and i'm open to that
and then
you say doubt comes first
so you because that's what i want and i doubt that i doubt that i am or this is what i want and yeah this is what i want and i don't know what is
no i have a chance to want more deeply
how can i want more deeply now even more know how much i don't know okay now can you open to that yes i see i see them i don't know which starts where there is doubt faith but it's faith or doubt and then
the person i want to be and i also doubt that i know that i'm right and i doubt that i know what the person i want to be is and i want that and i'm open to that there's a faith and then now that i want that i can more deeply doubt
it's an ongoing process they're feeding each other
you spoke about
could be wrong

i think i could be wasting my time is is good
can be open to that is good i think being open to that
is kind of like faith i'm open to being generous towards the thought i could be wasting my time but also i could be wasting my time but yeah it could be doubt to i wonder if i'm not wasting my time has come i doubt
and but it but who's asking that question i think that somebody who who kind like want who believes and not wasting this opportunity this amazing opportunity or being a human
okay so i'm pretty comfortable like i mentioned recently hear somebody came and told me that they feel comforted to be here i think it's good to be here and feel comforted now that we're comforted now can we like wonder what is it again that we wish to to realize in his life
what was challenging
it's challenging to be here yeah and then is challenging to be here
in a really
vital way
and having doubt i think increases vitality
okay so here we are trying to be kind to each other it's pretty good pretty alive
and i know what kindnesses
then things are getting kind of like what god that game racing getting warmer getting colder
i wanted i want to be kind to all of you and i want you to be kind to each other and i want you to be kind to me
gay that's pretty warm now i know what that is getting colder
i don't know i want this and i don't know what is getting warmer
i want this and i don't know what i'm talking about getting warmer
i don't want it even more and i even more don't know what it is getting warmer
and also getting more uncomfortable maybe
and then getting more uncomfortable than you have to be practiced more compassion towards your discomfort and then if you're more compassionate and patient and generous towards your discomfort
and you can be more doubting and more alive
and more alive and more doubting
more discomfort and more patient and generosity and carefulness with the discomfort or doubt doubt more pain want are more more uncertainty and so on it so after why you can be it can be like
insecure all day long
you know
and be able to have enough compassion to be able to tolerate that and tolerate that vitality
and also if you when you get of the approach that possible that possible state of development people may can't do and say don't tell us how insecure you are

the hassle

and great doubt
right so that you can you conduct all the time instead of just once in a while
and you can also if you can doubt all the time you can be compassionate all the time and actually we already are doubting all the time can already our compassion old time and that's ninety eight point six on my case ninety seven point two
i'm kind of cold
but perceptibly perceptibly our compassion comes and goes and perceptibly are doubt comes and goes and the more doubt there is to more
you know the more kind of like in secure we are until we're like totally and are continuously is secure
and continual sleep fully alive
which can be quite a shock to everybody
and people say would you please not be so insecure you our leader

a very perceptive away
have that last
might be very empowering but may not
this is
you know or you know are you believe it's more valuable because how could you know cause you don't know what sitting as
yeah you want to be fully alive you want to be as alive as you really are
and we know that there's things we do that limit our vitality that closed down on possibilities and opportunities we know we do that with our mind
and we should be compassionate to that
we we see that closing down when we see that closing down of our life we should be compassionate towards it
and being compassionate towards us
promotes the opportunity to opening up again
and being in secure and be more alive and being more insecure and been more alive
totally secure totally alive totally intimate with all beings are what a stupid situation to be in
and it's again you already have this it's like where we where we already are
it's just that we have a consciousness which manifests these forms which challenge it and limited and look get home so we have do and be compassionate with that
your next i think want you to have had raised
okay thank you are you going to keep our sentra

while his teacher said to him the teaching his teacher gave him was just this is it and he didn't really understand it so he's wondering what is this justice is it is walking through the water he sees the reflection and then he
he has something to say
so what he says they said he had greatly enlightened we we're not that was a great enlightenment
but then he started talking and he says
one of the things he says is
now i see
he is not me or it is not me in truth i am yet
and then he he writes that poem that time and he puts that excerpts that from that palm puts it in this blog
i guess

it seems to me

instead he said

his bro

his part
snipers understanding of the contract
i don't know
i really don't
do you
i'm trying to derive and understanding so that i don't have to be used by some sentences did you say you're trying to derive and understanding see it on to be confused

i welcome your confusion
i've i bought i vow to be a friend to your confusion
do you wish to be a friend to my confusion
yeah do you wish to be a friend to year confusion
well i would like to
but while the confusions here
before going any place would you like to realize enlightenment rather confusion still here
that's a good friend
a good friend is being a friend is acting in relationship to for example confusion in a way that is liberation before the confusion goes away so resolving doesn't mean that it goes away

i mean it doesn't have to mean that if you mean by resolving getting rid of it then that would not be what i would call good friend for example if i'm confused your friendship with me it doesn't wait until i'm not confused anymore
it's friendly to me now i'll i'm confused and your friendship with me now is my liberation
your friendship is my liberation with my confusion

that's what i call friendship this kind of friendship this intimate communion is we do not
we don't touch it
they don't touch the confusion and we don't turn away from it and we realize that the great massive fire is not
someplace other than the confusion
the way the confusion really is
it's a guide to all beings the way the conclusion is as such is the relief of all suffering
but usually people want to get rid of the confusion so we can be enlightened
so we can be at peace
but i have to be
genres an open to the this ease i have with confusion
in order
to realize the such nice of confusion
after experiencing
any action
how can we just wait before we go there and just say we've got to confusion
we have just completely open to it and been good friends with it now we have a political now we have the realization of liberation from suffering and i you might say at that point is it okay now if we have a party
called celebration of confusion
and we're not at all confused about this party it's called the celebration of confusion confusion was the thing we used the situation we used for this great realization of freedom
so action naturally comes up out of their liberation from confusion
and leads to these poems

now if you want to go back to the confusion and saying now that we've been friends with it can we do something with confusion
one friends with this is real confusion has lost its function as confusion it's not just an opportunity for freedom
so there's nothing more to do with it

and you look a look like that
huh getting caught
getting crowded attachment or right if you
usually people are caught in whatever and one of the things they they can be caught in his confusion
being friends with the confusion shouldn't stop
being friendly with confusion doesn't stop you from anything except
it's it does stop you however from not liberating people from suffering as stops you from now
friendship stops on helpfulness
but friendship doesn't stop you from
anything that would be helpful
so if you can think of is a helpful to do in relationship to
good friendship would not stop you from doing that
but sometimes you can think of something helpful to do with confusion but you're still not friends with it

and so you're in our friends with that but you're still
you're still stuck in it so you're doing good things for the confusion but you're not free because you're not friendly to the confusion
how's that

well the yeah you don't hear it i'd hear it a little bit from buddha and i heard actually little bit from hawkwind but also i'm totally
what does when he say he said practice secretly working within they don't tell people about they don't tell they keep it secret motive
teachers are teachers do that they look like they've gotta figure it out they sit calmly
they're they're patient with people attacking them
they look in our but they actually had tremendous doubt and occasionally they tell their students you should have doubt he should have a great doubt can taught that he put he didn't say and by the way i have to but in his biography you can see had it and the buddha occasionally we
to some of his stories of the buddha he would tell you know iguana the stories is things are going on but i try to tell the story quickly so you can have lunch
once upon a time the buddha was dwelling some place in india so people could find him usually he wasn't dwelling but he would sometimes dwell so people can come and talk to him so this guy came to see him and i often joke to say this is is one of his italians students his his name was seth
your promise solely
and he said to the buddha
are you the teacher of this group you know
yeah yeah yeah like their their mentor and you should you are you there exemplar the buddha said yeah so well like you should do they do what you to practice the way you do and said the i said why i've heard that used to go into the forest
come to the deep dark forest where there were lots of dangerous situations dangerous animals and and dangerous spirits digital used to go there and the buddha said he i said but then want your students go there and he said yeah will be dangerous for them is that aren't you gonna send them on a dangerous path
add and he said well this is a well again i used to go in there and when i went in that place
the name of the scripture called fear and dread
when fear and dread arose in me if i was walking i would just continue to walk
so the buddhist centre there was a time in his practice when he when he saw stuff he had he had fear and dread he doubted hit he doubted his understanding and reality and he felt fear and dread about it said it but up and i felt it if i was walking i just keep walking until the fear and
if i was sitting in the fear and dread rose i would just keep sending until the fear and dread subsided and so on if i was standing if i was reclining so he said enemies to say i would i actually had fear and dread i was insecure in the forest but this is the way i dealt with it and when i dealt with it that way
the fear and dread subsided the discomfort and insecurity subsided and then i saw
i saw the teaching of such lists and then i was very happy to be there
and now i continue to go into the forest
as and then he said in someone might say where are you attached to the means by which you achieved as great peace and freedom from last offering
and he said he said some of my say about me but i'm not attached these forms i don't have to do them
i'm free but i continue to do them for two reasons one is least i liked to
the other is to show an example of hot have faced this insecurity
to go in a situation where you will feel insecure so i think if you teach the important dimension of doubt and a practice
you're showing people a dangerous path
but you know that they need to walk there
in order to realize peace and freedom and you're going to be there to help them to remind them how to be with the fear how to be with the doubt in a gracious way so that it can subside and then
open you to what's already here
but a lot of our time need to sort of lays it out there it doesn't tell people how he got to that place but he did go through this fear and insecurity and doubt
and and even on the it's well anyway he did go through he said he had his doubts he had his embarrassments and he's saying it was
he lacked not that you have to have the same embarrassments and does said i had but you must open to and can have confidence that you should be open to these doubts
his doubts are what make our faith alive our faces to help us be completely alive
because we are
we already are but without training without performing our life as our full life
we don't realize it and when you perform it you do not try it out like how is sitting here great compassion
how is the way you sat here this morning great compassion and how this afternoon how is the way you spend the afternoon great compassion the way it is a shining right now the way our life is great compassion is brilliantly shining
right now at midnight
how do you realize that by performing the ritual which says that's what i'm devoted to i do not but i doubt that i doubt that what i'm doing here is intimately related to this great liberation of suffering
but i'm hearing that
i should be such a fool
has to do this little ceremony of this little one day sitting
to celebrate
this great compassion
and i need great doubt can order to open to the great compassion
can i do have doubt i kind of don't get it i don't see how we're doing here
is the intimate liberating function of our borders i don't see it but i understand that even the buddha's don't see it but they are it
that's all they are
but some doubt is going to arise if you do your little ceremony our little ceremony
how i don't get it here i'm so you know how how is this the teaching of such as how is this the intimate trusted how
i don't know
and i feel a little insecure it's not like i don't know what i don't care it's like i don't know and i feel a little insecure about it i feel a little foolish that here i am spending my life sitting here
not understanding perceptibly how this is realizing great compassion
but i am doing a ceremony to realize that great compassion and i've heard
that if i don't do this ceremony i'll miss it
in other words if you hesitate right now to perform the ceremony you're going to miss it and then you're going to be sorry for at least until lunch
maybe longer but it's not eternal damnation you can start up again
refresh i wish what i'm i wish this body to be a ceremony distributed performance i wished his body to pay for performance of great in conceivable compassion i wish that i want to give my body to them for that goal for that goal
which if i ever realize it
i'm disappear