Song of the Jewel Mirror Samadhi, Part 6: Not Abiding In Renunciation

Audio loading...

Welcome! You can log in or create an account to save favorites, edit keywords, transcripts, and more.

Auto-Generated Transcript



in this school we often deeply sing a song
and the song we sang
is a song
called the precious the song of the precious mirror awareness

and we've been a
we've been discussing this song
for several months now
and i was
intending to continue to discuss this song today but some things came up that i thought i should
pay tribute to
and in the process of paying tribute
all of our time may be
used up and i won't be able to talk to you about the song of the precious mere awareness
but maybe not we'll see
one of the things which came up was at someone said to me
here i feel like
it's a gift
to be able to sit here in this seat today
and i thought i agree with with her
and it's a gift to us that we can sit here and it's also i feel a gift to the whole world
for us to sit here it's a gift which will receive and it's a gift which we give
we received this person who's sitting
we give this person who is sitting
the song of the precious mirror awareness is a song about this it's a song about how it's a gift
to be here
it's a gift to us is a gift from us it's a song about that
that wonderful giving of the universe to us and us to the universe
every period we sit every moment we said
what a wonderful gift that we can be here and sit upright what are what what a wonderful gift we give to be here and sit upright
this is another way to talk about the precious mirror awareness
another way to talk about
zazen is that it's receiving the gift of sitting and giving the gift of sitting
and realizing that
receiving and giving realizing it
the and thing that came up earlier is quite early this morning back green gulch and came up here
is the issue of renunciation

and actually there is a chinese character for renunciation
which is also means like to on
give alms it's a character for renunciation but are also means to give to give arms

ah for example when someone is practicing meditation and you go to them and give them food to support their meditation practice
that's a gift
that's alms giving right but it's the same character for renunciation here renunciate your renouncing something you're giving away something to support somebody else

that kind of renunciation i guess
is kind of like
are appealing to most people i know
that there would like to
practice renunciation in the form of of giving giving as as the practice of renunciation and hi i think that's really
wonderful that we would
practice renunciation by giving that we practice giving as a renunciation giving not just to give something but also to let go of something
have a practice of generosity and as a practice of non-attachment

i often use the example which so many have you heard before a one day i was at a meeting and one of the people at the meeting and gave another person at the meeting or really nice automatic pencil
said district is automatic pencil is he said here this other person who gave it
an ice and and i said something like that was really nice pencil and it gave me one too
and then i went back to my little house
and my wife some and i said i think maybe i said to my wife look at the pencil somebody gave me and she said was it's really nice can i have it
and i don't remember exactly what i said but
murray cod in brief what i said was basically something like know
and what i meant was it would be a gift if i gave it to you in a sense but not really because if i when i give gifts
i want them to be renunciation i don't want just give you something that i'm not really letting go off when i if i give a gift i wanted to be i'm giving it and i'm really like it's it's it's not mine anymore i really let go of it completely and you can do it
and whatever happens with it i'm ready for that that's the way i want to give
not i give it and then i expect you to say thank you or like me or whatever know that i don't practice does not the kind of giving i want to practice i want to practice giving which is renunciation where i really like you can toss it can break the pencil
you can sell the pencil you can say
nothing that's the way i want to give the pencil and i wasn't i was not ready to give the pencil that way
and i felt bad here's my wife my wonderful wife she wants depends i won't give her a pencil
you know but in fact that's why was i was not ready to really give it
i wasn't and so i'm not gonna give when it's not giving i'm not going to do that and i get in trouble for that sometimes
people want me to give something and it's not giving time
and so and so i'm stingy man stingy man that's what i am i guess because it's not giving time on this that's what so i'm generous towards myself and let myself be stingy
the next day the next morning i was ready to give it
and i gave it to her
and i really gave it to her and i you know i was not i was not attached to it anymore having it for fifteen hours was long enough

and there's another character there's another chinese expression for a renunciation
which is similar to the
indian expression for renunciation which i don't know in sanskrit right now
but in in chinese they write it leaving home
and in india there's an ancient tradition of people leaving home
the founder
our tradition shakyamuni buddha was a family man
he had a family he had parents he had a wife he had children and he left them
he renounced them he gave them away
and so there is this term leaving home which is sometimes translated as leaving home
and sometimes straight trip the character leaving home as sometimes translated as renunciation
that term from an initiation is more difficult i find for people and the person who bought it up early this morning was bringing it up because
he felt like
he was thinking of becoming a priest and we call the sam what if it becoming a priest
leaving home and attaining liberation
and we have another ceremony
i'm becoming a laborer is sought for which is called staying at home
an attending liberation
leaving home and attending liberation
staying home and attending liberation this the difference in these two words staying home and leaving home is it is an issue big issue
in the community of enlightening beings

and in in the ceremony of called leaving home and attending the duration so called priests in the school
there are part of the ceremony his renunciation took some renunciation or with ritually enact renunciation by cutting the hair off
in the staying at home and attending liberation ceremony
we also have renunciation
but instead of cutting all the hair off would cut some of the hair off
the still there renunciation but it's not as i don't know what
and what the word you used for the difference
not as graphic
not as
who not as radical
like suzuki roshi used to call this the most radical the radical haircut or not he called it the ultimate haircut
this is the end of the line of haircuts
so it
yeah so renunciation and what we just chatted it said
when you hear the true dharma
you will renounce worldly affairs

what has renounced worldly affairs midst of means renounce distraction
from being
a buddha
ms reynolds distractions from what you aspire to
it means
it means give yourself completely to all beings
and and give renounce distraction from that
it means give yourself to all beings
in every moment
that's a practice without trying to get anything back or forward
that's the practice right
and also to receive support from all beings
in every moment to receive the gift of life from our beings
every movement in each moment
with no distraction that's as buddha
that's the precious mirror awareness

an organization is to let go of anything that all the things that distract us from being
in this precious mere awareness
for everybody we made is a gift to us and everybody we meet we are gift to them
and then if there's any
closing down and reject and pushing away that kind of were being with beings we were announced that we we aspire to renounce them
so we just said was when you see the true dharma you will read you will renounce but also when you renounce you'll see the your dorm
when you renounce your resistance to the your life as a gift
when you renounce resistance to everything that comes to you as a gift as the gift of your life when you renounce that you will hear the true dharma
and when you hear that your dharma you will renounce
being distracted from that precious where samadhi
and from that
renunciation the song will come again

and this person said to me this person does not
actually this person or hat has a partner that he's committed to but he doesn't have children and he's he's considering becoming a priest is considering leaving home and he says i feel like the model at zen center is having a family not leaving home
have i said i don't think that that's the model
maybe some other people do like maybe you think that i don't think so
i think the model at zen center is whether you have a family or not
that you renounce
all distractions
from the practice
and if someone is has a family whose not you
they are a gift to you and you are a gift to them
whether they're practicing renunciation or not
is that
that's an issue but you can practice renunciation with people who are not yet ready to practice renunciation

from the point of view of our true nature
one could say that all those who are not yet ready to practice renunciation are just simply a mature they're not their children are not yet ready
to let go of our resistance to who it who they are
and certainly little children are not yet ready to
let go and resistance to who they are because they actually dems they are too kind of sense for they are
and they're really frightened by him a lot of the time they sense that they're vulnerable
they sense that the world's and impermanent unstable place you know and it's hard for them to go to sleep at night they need help in such a world and they get it
but to help they use a good is not well i was time to go to bed in this world is really unstable
an unpredictable you know
and then the the baby says but you'll be heard tomorrow morning want your mommy and mommy don't usually say no i won't be here i mean i'm there i made there may be a mother here but she won't be me i'm it'll be a new mother we don't usually talk to children like that
leicester bread and the ready to open up to the reality that
this afternoon all of us will be different all of our friends will be new friends
and actually everybody is our friend and right now all the friends we have we've never had before
maybe this doesn't frighten you but it might frightened children so we don't necessarily mentioned
until they're ready and maybe today you're ready because a person was talking to me a green gulch so i think it was setting me up for you
i wasn't intending to talk about renunciation but since two people brought it up i thought i guess i should
and i said to this person early this morning i said
if you do not have a family
and here
not renouncing not having a family
that's not renunciation
if you have a family and you're not renouncing have a family that's not renunciation
if you have a family your practice renunciation if you're on the bodhisattva path if you don't have a family you practice renunciation if you live in a temple some people live in temples bay
the job is to practice renunciation in the temple of renunciation this is a temple of renunciation it's called know abode is called renounce your abode when you come in here check your boat at the door
come in here having let go of your abode
doesn't mean you don't have one it just means you let go of it
this place is a place for renunciation of abiding
that's the mind of the bodhisattva
if you live in a temple your he had the opportunity to renounce living in a temple if you live in a house that's not called the temple you have the opportunity to renounce living in a house
if you renounce living in a house when you're living in a house
you are buddha
if you renounce living in a temple when you're living in a temple you are buddha if you abide in a temple
your resist you're not being generous
you're distracted
from this dynamic process of giving and receiving
with the whole universe
so whether you do the
so-called leaving home and attaining or liberation ceremony or the staying at home
an attending liberation ceremony whether your initiated as a priest bodhisattva or a lay body suffer in both cases there is the opportunity for renunciation of all distraction from the samadi from this precious mere awareness
and whether you have done the ceremony or not
i should say
whichever in your matter which ceremony you've done he had the same job really
so most of the people in the roman don't have not done
the leaving home and attaining the way ceremony
just kathy and i have done
so we are wondering what is leaving home and attain away
some many people who hadn't done the leaving the staying at home and attending the way ceremony
so now you can wonder what's that
but staying at home does not mean that you're attached to stay home if you're attached to stay home
you're hindering the attainment of liberation
and if you're staying at home and you don't take care of that
the only route the reason you're not taking care of it is because you're attached to it if you're not attached to it you will take care of it
of course you can try to take care of it while you're attached but that would just make it harder to
realized liberation
and in chance says after it says that
when you hear the dharma you will renounce
worldly affairs and i'm adding when you're announced worldly affairs you will hear the true dharma then it says
although our past april karma has greatly accumulated
because of our past karma
i'm resisting
this awareness
we have i felt hindered in practicing renunciation
but then it goes on to say that by revealing i'm disclosing our lack of practicing renunciation before the buddha's
this this admitting our resistance to this awareness
remit admitting are being closed to this
wonderful awareness
and feeling sorry about it
melts away the roots of this non pronunciation or hub this
holding on to being distracted from this awareness
so i i wasn't intended to talk about this but
i fields again kind of like a
a part of the initiation into discussing this this song
there were used in the discussion of this song we can see the opportunity
to renounce any distraction
in listening to the song
renounce any distraction
from practicing this awareness
a moment ago i thought he opposed to ask why become a priest

the causes and conditions are becoming a priest
i've been initiated as a priest bodhisattva
our inconceivable
the causes and conditions of becoming a so costs labor research for are inconceivable
and every person who is contemplating or has
i entered into priest initiation every person you could ask why did you or before they do you can say why are you thinking of that and you'll get meant many different answers many different stories about why they're wishing to or why they did
and the same with the people who do the staying at home and attending if you ask them why are you thinking of doing this or why did you do it can they give they can all
give you they could they could i'll give you stories about about that
i am saying the story i'm giving you is that
how we wind up going through this gate or this gate into the body sought for life how we do that and there's there's basically two ways right the the so-called leaving home way in and the so-called staying at home way in but they're both supposed to be ways in and i'm saying wow
once you go in there still the issue of renunciation is still there
so i went through the so-called leaving home initiation why did i go in that way i really don't know but sometimes when people ask me that in the past not today today i'm saying i don't know the day i'm saying for me bottom line is it's income
favorable why up it's inconceivable how and why i became a priest you could save the the why of high became priest is all the causes and conditions that made that ceremony happen
that there was a zen center that there was a suzuki chivalry roshi
those are conditions that i wanted to be like that priest he was a priest
he was my teacher i wanted to be like my teacher that's my ah sorry i could tell
but really i don't know that just a story i tell and i felt that way i felt like one would kind of want to be lower someone else could say or unconsciously you want to be a brisk if you thought your status would be elevated in etc
and some people honestly say i want to have higher status in the community can people have to admit that are some people say i don't want to become a because people think i'm trying to get higher status but they say that about the lay initiation to lot of people resisted because they think well they're not people will think i'm more advanced and in a wanna i don't want to play that game
all this stuff's going on
but for me it started out i want to be
like my teacher
i wanted to be close to my teacher so i thought if i do the things my teacher does on be closer to my teacher i want to be entered my my teacher so i thought onto this on live like an outtake that born
i don't know really
yeah and this
this person who brought the question of to earlier
is thinking of doing this priest ordination
and i said part of what is it also is that if you do the leaving home in attaining the way ceremony and you're going to be practicing with a lot of people who are not
and then you get a chance to renounce your ideas about them
and your judgments about them and your judgments about yourself
if you think i'm a bad priest you can renounce that idea if you think your i'm a good priest you can on sept but if you think you're better than lay people you can renounce out idea if you think lay people are better than you you can renounce
so we have lot of different people we practice with and we don't want to limit the people we practice with just so that we want think certain thoughts that would be hard to renounce
did fall that
if you if you if you if you select the people you practice with make a small enough you might not have to deal with certain judgments
but if you let your friends
the field of your friends grow like or know what to include both republicans and democrats
if you
you know if you let your field of friendship grow to include all candidates from the republican party for presidency
and then you and then you had and then you have this opinions arise when you see them speaking about various topics
like mexicans and rapists and
you know
when they went when they when they appear to you yeah yeah you have opinions arising now you have a chance to renounce your opinions which you wouldn't have the chance to announce it unless you open to these people
so some people want to go to a little nice little monastery where everybody there is
is causing them to have positive opinions
so you get there
and then all these positive opinions arise about these lovely body bodhisattvas
but you quit your job to do at those positive opinions to give him away
if you hold onto these are the best people in moran here in his room
this is not the body south park boys are best is to think these are the best people in moran and to give that away
not abide in the thought these are the best people
i'm so fortunate to be with these people
that's an opinion i have i do have that feel that opinion
but my that's not my job making a on my job is not to have opinions
but i'm a human being so i have opinions
maybe you do to you look like humans do you have opinions some of you
that's not your doesn't exactly her job that just so like comes with comes with equipment
your job is a bodhisattva is to renounce all your opinions
but a renounced doesn't mean to say that wrong and then attached to that renounce means give him away and realized their gifts to you
your job is not
to make gifts come to you your job is to receive them you receive these these gifts of opinions and and you
you give them away that's your job as a bodhisattva
not abiding any opinions
so some people who want to become priests i think we'd like to go some place where there's just priests
and no families
and that's fine that's another thing to or announce that desire
when i was i think not too long after i got our and i said to sit to security maybe i should go to a monastery where there's all men
because i've done centers you know we have women practicing here with the men and i was a man at that time
that i was talking to him and there were women around and i thought i had opinions about the women
and i was having a little bit difficulty with my opinion about the women's like that woman has really really attractive that was difficult for me to renounce

and he said and so i said to him maybe i should i go to him monastery where this all men
and he said that would be too easy for you
so hidden encourage me to leaves and center and go someplace or they're just many priests
he actually asked me to stay
in situation where there were men and women
les and priests families and and not families
so i'm still here and he didn't tell me when to leave so i haven't left

so i don't know why i became a priest
i don't know why are the people i mean i've heard stories about where are the people can bruce but although i don't know why
i am very very very grateful that i was able to become a priest
and starting with being a priest was a person called
cheerios as a diversion very i don't know i often sad or know how i got to have that opportunity

what i did


i think that i think that here's here's one story i come home with a pencil she says going to have it i give it to her and i'm happy to give it to her and i feel joy in giving a tour
do i have to be a whereas it i'm enjoy connect can i have joy without being without thinking i'm really joyful huh i can
i need but i don't need to joy you do need to joy you gotta have joined
i do not just have to think i am like full of joy you don't have to think that would you do need it
you do need to be full of joy and if you practice giving without even thinking you're practicing giving but you're doing it you're joining reality
you're joining the reality sanga you're joining the reality club when you're practicing giving but you don't have to think i'm giving
but you do have to practice it because you are practicing it
and you can be aware
i was asked for the pencil and i gave the pencil
and if you give it right you will be joyful but you're not giving it to become joyful it just will be but you might not notice it but that joy fuels you to do all kinds of other good things which you might not think i'm doing good things but if you do think you're practicing giving when you give the gift
then that would be something else that you would give away
it's something i say did you give that pencil to her i might say
ah i don't know or yeah
i don't know
i don't know i gave it to her or she gave me the gift of has of asking for it hundred and august i don't actually know who's who in the giving and giving process but i might just say yes to make things simple
the i actually wasn't i've actually felt like i wasn't ready to give the pencil i was conscious that i wasn't ready huh
i was well i guess i was i was either attached to it or i wasn't ready to give it kind of the same thing i wasn't so much i guess i was sort of the game was attached but i was all deliberate i was also where i'm not ready to give this
the next morning i noticed that i was ready to give it so in that case i was i noticed oh no i'm ready to give it so i kind of didn't notice that i was ready for the renunciation but renunciation is actually not something i can see
because i can give the gift and was the renunciation really there i don't know i the day before is a time pronunciation i said no i don't know renunciation issue is but i'm not ready to practice it by giving this pencil next day i'm ready to get a give the pins
so i'm ready i'm ready to do the thing of given the pencil was renunciation there
i see it i don't know how to renunciation is heart inconceivable life together it can't actually see it
but you can say well that was renunciation but that wasn't beverages
we need it but we we really can't see the fullness of god
your who your wife and renounce it as a fifteen hours
she she might have she might have renounced to do i don't know i don't know who's was renouncing what i just i just say we need it
and we and we practice the ritual of it
like we give a pencil or we don't
and if we don't we kind of phil luber sorry
and if we do we may feel good during the ritual of giving and then we can look was there really a renunciation there
but although i asked the question i do not expect to be able to see that i did
do i wish to be a bodhisattva yes do i know what a bodhisattva is not completely can i see a bodhisattva not completely
do i wanna be yes and my wondering how to be yes
how how can i become a body sound but when you ask me that question
huh wondering
and i do not think i'll ever come to the end of that question
i don't think so
can i give that question away by telling you about it
so i don't think i'll ever finally know that i am a bodhisattva i don't think so and if i ever did think that thought than on that path that point just evaporates when i'm thinking mainly i'm a bodhisattva
so what you said no
yeah do that then again
that mean at some point
renounce it well at that moment i did i did feel i confess to myself
and i confess to her to know
know it i confess that i'm not giving you the pencil
and i also felt a little sorrow
because she's such a nice person and i mean giving your pencils a minor a minor
i'm line or expression of gratitude for all her kindness to she'd given me a lot more than a pencil
so i felt i felt kind of sad not to give her depends on bedazzle
at the sadness which i accept because i accept that it said to be me sometimes
whenever i'm not generous
that's a chance when i
might feel somewhat sad
and i kind of if i feel like i'm not being generous high kind of feel good about feeling sad that seems appropriate
but i guess so that i feel good because i'm feeling the appropriate way and then a minute later hour later maybe the hindrance has dropped away
stop you know and thing that got away melts in the
this gives expression in melting furnace of confession and repentance
of of saying that wasn't particularly generous and i feel sad about that that will melt
the transgression from generosity
you know that know the story to tell about the market share with you
in when anyone else yes
and you're reluctant to do it
if something is that
is that denial something not necessarily so for example my leader she often once one of the way she copes with this world is to watch she calls them shows and she can watch them on ipads on t
tvs she wants to watch shows and i don't know how long she would watch shows if allowed
but much longer than most people want her to watch
when she wants more shows than her mother thinks as good and i'm taken care of her then she asked for one more show just one more show and i've done this sometimes have one more show
i've done that a few times and then guess what happens you're just one more
and then guess what happens just one more and then finally i said okay no more and then we have
sometimes a meltdown is really short sometimes a sequential i do eventually say i don't think so
do i think it's a gift
i don't know i think it's a gift to i wanted to be a gift yes
if she wants she and she usually doesn't she doesn't like one more and more cookies i don't have that problem with you can have another cookie she doesn't catch not a problem with her
our main
her drug of choice is videos
i want my setting limits on her
screen meditation i want that to be a gift is it a gift i do not know
does this sometimes work out really well yes it seems to but i that doesn't mean i know for sure that it was a gift but do i want i am but i am derived i definitely want to be generous with this person but sometimes when she asked for his
i don't not good for her
the recent thing as we are so
she she gets to watch a certain number limbs and then we stop
and then we now we go to the library and we can check out one video
and then usually after of about library regard to the playground next to the library where she said i don't want to go to playground today i want to go home
he said i can watch the video before my mom gets home
and she won't know that i watched it
so i'm kind of not exactly her mom you know i'm more like her assistant
but i'm assistant who also is loyal to her mother's wishes so it's interesting though i want everything i do in relationship heard be to get giving yes
can i keep on the beam that everything she does with me is a gift to me i'm pretty much there even when she challenges me and says one more show i kind of see or yeah not a gift how can i like deal with one more show
it's an ongoing question
and i feel good when i'm right there with the question and i don't feel good when i come over to
knowing that it was a gift
or even that it wasn't a gift and to do it just doesn't seem to be a gift and when it doesn't seem to be a gift i'm sorry
but i rake and and also i would be sorry if i knew for sure it wasn't a gift gonna be going too far just said i don't think so as enough
yes children are asking us to offer them limits
from the buddhist point of view all non voters are asking buddha's to set limits and boat has to offer limits to help people become buddha
it been
the the idea that

so you're not she said whenever she offers an opinion it in she's never she said she's never confident that it was what
that that your opinion was correct
yeah i think that would be good to continue to never be confident that your opinion is correct
never be competent which sounds fine to me
correct is going a bit far
correct is like correct is correct right and that correct is like this is not incorrect you're clumsy closing the door on the possibility that your opinion is incorrect
that for the rest your life

so what so what and i have confidence in what am i confident in
i'm confident in your renouncing
your opinions and renouncing the opinion that your opinions are correct i'm competent in that
what else am i confident about i'm confident in you giving me the gift of your opinions
i'm confident that if you have an opinion it would be good for you and me to use that opinion as an opportunity for practicing generosity together i'm confident in night
i can get distracted from that
but i want to renounce distraction for what from giving what's giving i'm a human i have opinions
all my opinions i've been given to me and i give them all
and if you have a friend neighbor him he's saying to you basically he welcomes you to give him gifts of your opinions plus also given gifts of your opinions about the relative correctness of your opinions
part of your job is to a sometimes give people your opinions they are asking you for them
implicitly or explicitly
you just gave me opinion which was
i think that i'm not confident that the that giving my opinions that giving my opinions is correct or i'm confident that giving my opinions is correct but i'm not confident that the opinion is correct
how think even ext i would even extend

i would extend the uncertainty too
i'm confident that i need to give my opinions
i'm confident that i need to give my opinions but i'm not confident that this particular example of me giving my opinion is correct that the giving even as maybe not the right time
but i'd i basically
i do want to and i have confidence that my i'm responsible
to my life
to give my opinions in a way that is beneficial
or first book that is true and other it's true that this is my opinion after my opinions true because i'm saying it's opinion i'm not saying it's a fact
to give my opinions and the truth of opinions is at their opinions
and also to give them in a way that's beneficial and also to do it at the right time
so whenever i give an opinion i know that that the time of delivery is always in question
so i'm gay i think okay i think now's a good time but i'm not completely sure now so right
i gave you but your opinions just now i do think and i want to give you my opinions one it's
when it really is my opinion
and when it's gonna help you and want to read talk i want that but i don't know if my opinions are correct or not
i don't know
but i do i do know that this is my opinion this is the one i've gotten
and i don't not beneficial to you but i kind of i'm gonna try to find out
i'm an offered and maybe tentatively offer it and part of offering it in a way to be beneficial as ask if you want to hear an opinion
and if you say no i'm
that might make me
gets more research and then the timing
so i i really support you and i have confidence in supporting you and offering this universe your opinions
and when you offer them think about it just really my opinion just where i really think okay yes it would be helpful
no well then don't offer
is it can be helpful
i don't know but i think so or get offer it or is it also check is a thread time
and you said the person not paying attention i don't think it's a red time the person is and too much pain right now i don't think us right time
but opinions my opinions are not i can't say for sure that they're correct
so if you can't
i would encourage you to be like me and not be sure that your opinions are correct and not being sure that your opinion is correct i think will help you and not be sure that my opinions are correct i think will help me
renounce my opinions
and when i ran in the process of the announcing my opinions
i practice giving my opinions

kind in the process of renouncing my opinions i practice receiving my opinions
so i must renounce my opinions in order to enter the buddha way
started i don't have any it's that i must renounce them
renounce them it's so that they are not distracting me from the way
renounce them so they don't so they don't distract me from the giving process
how are you do how are you feeling now
it's a lot
giving as a lot giving his
the totality of our life
it's know it's inconceivable
whenever a time whenever opinion arises try to be with it in such a way to open up to it inconceivable such this
that's the samadi
that's the awareness of the precious mere all of our opinions are precious mirrors
they're not us interest that they are us

could you speak up could you speak up maybe i'll i'll say what you say because people upstairs again
how words how
discover so
i swung that kathy go to the toilet or whatever
anybody else anybody else needs to go to the toilet please do
you're curious about the process of
how you go about
well just now are talking to kim hye gave her some opinions did you see me
no i might i couldn't take a look at myself and say did you attach any of those opinions
and i might sometimes feel like i do feel a little attached to them or i might feel like i'm not sure if i i i don't feel attached to them
but also not feeling a tad doesn't mean that i'm not there would be going too far that would be attached to that i wasn't attached
but sometimes i can feel like yeah i really was i kind of like i could sense my body was kind of tensing around what i said to her was well as i was expressing their opinions i feel some tension i felt some lack of openness to the generosity of the process
and so then i say i confess that i wasn't really part i didn't feel like i was practicing
generosity dash renunciation and i'm sorry
and then a moment later i'd try it again as that time i felt more open less attached
and i'm also not knowing if i really did practice renunciation and before i'm not saying i really know that i did practice when i did i'm not saying i really do know that i didn't
so i don't abide a and i don't i didn't i don't abide and i did
i mean i i aspired to not abiding and i didn't not abiding and i did so it looks like a process of this is what i seem to be feeling now i seem to be feeling generous i seem to be feeling grateful i seem to be feeling we are open and relaxed and i aspire to be that
but i'm not going to share with that way is and i keep wondering how can i be
really open and generous how can i be a bodhisattva i'm wondering about that and i do not expect to get an answer final answer to that i i understand that the process is open ended
and i have an aspiration and i have a current
presentation of how i'm doing with it
but my aspiration is not the way i'm currently dealing with it
my aspiration is
you know the complete way a bang
is there ever a time when he might be something that might look like
is there a case case where renouncing aspiration
it looks like
are you talking about not following the aspiration are renouncing the aspiration creature
well i aspired to be a sought by aspire to be generous gay and it would be appropriate for me also to like not be attached to that
yeah so i may feel like i aspire to be a bodhisattva but i wanna do that an open way because i'm aspiring is something which i don't really know what it is so wouldn't be appropriate for me to hold onto what i think it is and say well
you know like if i'm attached to anything it must be because i i'm attached to an idea of it
but someone might say to me
i'm like again you some i may say to somebody i i aspire to be a bodhisattva it might say to me know you don't and i feel like you're right
where it might say no i don't but i still think i do but i can say no i don't know i feel really fine about that

if you aspire to be uptight and then people tell you
tell you not to be uptight you can say
yeah i'm gonna go ahead and be uptight or if they tell you keep being a place they were most i'm not going to be obtained if you're tell me to do it
but if if you aspire to be an open bodhisattva
we don't completely know what that is
so people tell you to give it up time give it up and when you give it up it fills your body and mind let go of it fills your hand
yes some there's something
look like things
you are ultimately to be renounced spread for the time being
move in direction
you see some you have some good things that kissing ultimately they they would need to be renounced but for the time being this team useful
for the time being this same useful but being useful doesn't mean that it's now time to renounce them
you can remove some know you you're admitting that it ultimately these would be renounced
k and meantime before i renounce them they're useful
okay but you don't have to wait you can renounce him right now ultimately could be now
now you need what the hell you can have to help while you're announcing it
so you you got it that this is useful now and i know ultimately i need to renounce it yes good we're good there and i'm saying you could also renounced now you can make ultimate now
it doesn't mean you don't have the thing that useful for example body and mind they're useful
and ultimately you're going to renounce them but you can renounce him now you want to wait
like overtaken eat it too

you can let go of your cake and eat it too
or you can also say you can eat your cake and let go of it too
but in the bodhisattva path you can't have your cake and eat it too
but you can have your cake and confess that you have your cake
having your cake is not the body stuff about
but path bath is giving you take away so bodies a pig bodhisattva path if you have your cake you cannot eat it
you cannot
you cannot when you have your cake you close your mouth
you got your cake
but you can't you can't eat it cause you got it
kay thank you
but if you give away your cake
you instantly eat it
when you give away the bodyshop of out when you give away the bodies out for life
that's what it's like to eat it
is it you got it now know here it is i don't have it is useful it is useful the bodhisattva vow is useful and i'm using it but i don't have it
ah delicious
isn't it is it's so useful
because i don't have it and if i have it it's of no use it's a greatest thing but if you have it
you call yourself doing

what you know their bodies up as the path is there to have and not it
is there to not have and eat
you get to eat it if you're not attached to it
loving it without attachment to it is eating it

is it the water pronunciation
is invisible the actual negotiations are visible hell with the divisible renunciation is good too so we have the ceremony ceremonies or we cut some of the hair and all the hair that's a visible brand situation

yeah and when you when you're intimate with the visible renunciation
you realize the invisible your initiation
when you're when you're intimate with the apparent are the visible generosity
intimacy with that the intimacies invisible and the renunciation is realized in that intimacy and they intended to in reconciliation in the intimacy are both inconceivably wonderful an inconceivably it inconceivable invisible inheritable on
but we need to be intimate with the visible disable the hero bull
acts of renunciation and generosity

and the intimacy we we never know what if we actually got the intimacy hub was i intimate with you today
some people say yes some people say no but i don't know and if you say yes how did you know that
it's just interesting that last statement that he said
what's not here all
into the realm of hearing it

last last of the to the here
the action
i have an opinion
the opinion is to inherit opinion is convert those losses into gifts
when you were to say heard the arab the new new said something i read that was good i don't know what to say it was fine
convert all loss into gifts and my as a suggestion and i get and i have an opinion that would be good
i'm not saying for sure you're going to lose anything
and i say i'm for sure but i would say this but if we don't practice giving there's gonna be a lot of the loss
if you don't give this day away it's going to seem like a loss
if you don't give your present age away it's going to seem like you lost him
but if you give you use away
he gave your health away you're not going to lose your health
this is the miracle of renunciation
renounce everything and you don't lose anything
give everything and you don't post anything
all the things that you that you thought your last retrospectively convert them to gifts

that was a long talk
i hope it was in accord with the precious mirror awareness
may our intention equally extend to every being and place
the cool
buddha is ray
the die
how to save them
these are inexhaustible
how to end them dharma dates are about us
a while to enter them but as why is unsurpassable
if i want to be comment