Somebody asked me how I recommend studying these stories or studying like the text we're studying on Wednesday night about studying the evolution of consciousness and evolution of delusion and bondage and how that is studied in leading to the path of liberation. And what I recommend is basically that when you study this material, we discuss it in class, and you study it on your own, and you memorize whatever text you're talking about. So you memorize the story and you learn it by heart, in other words, so that it's in you.

[01:08]

And then when you sit, you just sit. You don't use your discursive mind to figure out your discursive mind. You just let your discursive mind function as it will, and you sit still. And in stillness of samadhi, as it says in the Self-Receiving and Self-Employing Samadhi, in the unconstructedness of stillness Not a single thing is disturbed. So if the story or the verses should appear to you, should come up in your mind, your emphasis is not on figuring things out.

[02:12]

Your emphasis is to be prepared and make a space for revelation. And in this sense, the Buddhist way of studying is kind of like the Greek idea that fertility comes from death, or is very closely associated with death. Or like Whitman says, grass always grows on graves. So you give up everything and you're sitting, and you just sit still and quiet. And if you're studying a text like this, trust that your mind will exude the text in whatever state of maturation that the text has reached in your psychic process. If the text is somewhat undigested, it's going to produce

[03:15]

you're just going to have trouble producing big chunks of text all at once. But as you digest the text more and more and as you become more and more still, your mind offers you more and more jewel-like material, more and more gem-like offerings come up in your mind You don't have to, like, figure out what, you don't have to sit there in your meditation and, like, figure out what you should be studying. You can do that, you can, if you're using your discursive mind, you can use your discursive mind outside of meditation in any way you want. But in meditation, I would, again, basically suggest that you just be still and quiet and entrust that your mind will present you the text when you feel like studying it. And if you're still, you have a chance of understanding what the text is, of seeing it from a totally new point of view.

[04:23]

So I think it is good to study these cases in your meditation, but don't change your meditation to study the text. And if you spend a lot of time studying the text, it will appear in your meditation when you need to understand it. When your psyche is troubled by it or interested in it enough, it will come up while you're sitting still. But there's no more willfulness on your part to bring up the story than there is willfulness on your part to get a bird to sing. And the process by which the bird presents its song to you is the same process by which your mind presents the story to you. Usually we think, well, I don't make the bird sing to me. But that's the karmic way of thinking, that you make your thoughts come up, that you make the teachings come up to study, but you don't make the bird come up.

[05:30]

We have, in both cases, Many things present these things for us to hear and understanding is best when you're not moving. In other words, when it erupts from stillness and you've given up everything and gone down to this still ground and then when something comes up you can watch how things come forward and confirm this event or manifest this event for you. You can witness that. So we have this case 37 we were studying. Last time we had people break up

[06:33]

small groups of two, and act out the case, taking turns. Have you been doing that around the house? Not done. Would you like to do it for us? You can use the book if you haven't memorized it yet. If someone suddenly said all sentient beings just have active consciousness, boundless and unclear, with no fundamental to rely on, how would you prove it in experience? If a monk comes, I'll call him, hey you. If a monk turns his head, I say, what is it? If he hesitates, I say, not only is their act of consciousness boundless and unclear, they have no fundamental to rely on. Not changed. If someone suddenly said, all sentient beings just have active consciousness, boundless and unclear, with no fundamental to rely on, how would you prove it in existence, in experience?

[07:44]

If a monk comes, I call him, hey you. If the monk turns his head, I say, what is it? If he hesitates, I say, not only is there active consciousness, boundless and unclear, they have no fundamental to rely on. Good. Did that feel good when she said good? Really good. Pete and David, is it? Pete and David. Are you friends, you two? Neighbors. Do you have a copy of the text? Would you do it now? Would you do it now, you two? Someone suddenly said, all sentient beings just have active consciousness, boundless and unclear, with no fundamental to rely on.

[08:53]

How would you prove it in experience? If a monk comes, I call him, hey you. If the monk turns his head, I say, what is it? If he hesitates, I say, not only is their active consciousness boundless and unclear, they have no fundamental to rely on. Good. You weren't here last time, were you, Mark? You were Dr. Michael. Anybody else who wasn't here last time? I missed the beginning. Why don't Herb and Mark do it? If someone suddenly said, all sentient beings just have active consciousness, boundless and unclear, with no fundamental to rely on, how would you prove it in experience? If a monk comes, I call him. Hey, you.

[09:54]

If the monk turns his head, I say, what is it? He hesitates, I say. Not only is their active consciousness boundless and unclear, they have no fundamental to rely on. Good. So there was a little change the second time they said it. Did you notice? Did you notice, Jeanine? The first time he just said, all sentient beings just have active consciousness, boundless and unclear, with no fundamental to rely on. Second time he said, not only do they just have that, but on top of that. In other words, the first time he just says it, the second time he points out that I think it's a, there's a, there's an idea here that, you know, well, some people would, some people might say, okay, people are, you know, got some active consciousness, they've got a way of thinking in terms of that they do things.

[11:01]

Okay. Maybe I'll even grant you that it's, they're kind of unclear about how this works, and also that it's kind of a pervasive phenomena. Like, you know, pervasive phenomena like all the time. Like there's no, there's not, it's unceasing, this process of karmic interpretation of reality. But maybe you think, well, yeah, but probably deep down someplace or in some, you know, treasure trove of the consciousness, there's some kind of like fundamental place where everything swells and can depend on the mind. Mm-hmm. That's the proposal here. Now, we also have this other nice story. We don't usually read the commentary right away, but in this case we can, where a monk is talking to Nanyang.

[12:06]

No, Yunnan. A monk is talking to Yunnan, and he says in the Avatamsaka Sutra, in the Flower of Dharma scripture, it says that the fundamental affliction of ignorance... is itself the immutable knowledge of all the Buddhas, this seems rather difficult and hard, profound and difficult to understand. And Yunnan says, I don't think so. Seems kind of straightforward to me. Check this out. So there's a monk sweeping nearby, and he says, hey, you. And the young boy turns his head. He says, is this not the immutable knowledge of all Buddhas? And he says, what's Buddha? And the boy hesitates, gets befuddled, and stumbles off. He said, is this not the fundamental affliction of ignorance? So it's the same story, except in the second case, you actually have a demonstration of what happens when

[13:12]

following up the original thing of, hey, you, and they turn their head, that's fine, and then he says, what is it, or what's Buddha, or something like that, and then the person hesitates. He didn't say in that case the quote, but the boy demonstrated this fundamental affliction of ignorance, this all-pervasive karmic consciousness. and with nothing more fundamental to rely on. Another little tidbit for you to start you off is, you know, in one very important scripture called the Nirvana scripture, in a chapter called the Lion's Roar.

[14:22]

The Lion's Roar of the Buddha is that all sentient beings fully possess, all sentient beings without exception, possess the Buddha nature. or all sentient beings without exception have Buddha nature. Okay? And so, Dogen has a number of things to say about this, but one thing he said in the Ehe Koraku is he says, just see that, just see the extreme confusion of karmic consciousness. All sentient beings are void of Buddha nature. Just see the extreme confusion of conditioned or karmic consciousness.

[15:30]

All sentient beings are void of Buddha nature. he reads that statement, you know, the usual reading of the Chinese, all sentient beings without exception have Buddha nature. That's the usual reading. He reads it, all sentient beings, whole being, Buddha nature. All sentient beings without exception have Buddha nature. he changes without exception have, he combines those two characters, without exception have, into without exception meaning wholly or completely, not excluding anything, and he changes have to being. So all sentient beings, whole being, Buddha nature.

[16:33]

In other words, it isn't that sentient beings have Buddha nature, like there's this little jewel inside someplace, or there's this fundamental... See, a lot of people thought, oh, sentient beings, before the scripture came along, people thought, oh, sentient beings are screwed up, but they can maybe be, I don't know what, transformed into becoming Buddhas. Maybe because they have a little seed in there, which you can like, inside of this screwed up person, you can grow this seed up and it'll take over. Or something like that. Open the window. And then sort of the good news is it's not, then the news is, well, actually all sentient beings do have this seed, or do have this, their nature is actually Buddha.

[17:38]

The nature of sentient beings is Buddha. And one interpretation of that again would be, well, the nature of sentient beings is that they're impermanent, and impermanence is the Buddha nature. So the very impermanence of sentient beings is their Buddha nature. But this way of reading it that he does is a little bit different, saying that the whole being of sentient beings is the Buddha nature. And the whole being of Buddha nature, and the whole being of a sentient being, in a sense, the whole being of the sentient being, Buddha nature, is similar to saying sentient beings are void of Buddha nature. Void of Buddha nature is similar to the fact that our whole being is Buddha nature. Ascension beings are void of, or ascension beings voided.

[18:38]

The whole being of ascension being is not ascension being. Your whole being is not you. So this is Dogen's reading, or the Zen reading, of the Buddha's teaching, the lion's roar of the Buddha. The great news. The Buddha is saying this. And I think it bears on this story. And that the whole, what is ascension being? Ascension being is extreme confusion about what's going on. It's extreme confusion about karmic consciousness, which itself is all pervasive and unclear. And there's no refuge of some kind of fundamental thing.

[19:44]

There is refuge. The refuge is Buddha nature. That's the refuge. But what is the Buddha nature? It's the whole being of a sentient being. What's a sentient being? It's confusion. It's karmic consciousness. It's thinking in terms of self and other. It's having ideas about Buddhism. It's having ideas about what practice is, about what the way is, about what enlightenment is. In other words, having delusions about enlightenment. That's a sentient being. But the whole being of a sentient being is Buddha nature. So this story is pointing to that. An unhesitating... Deluded person. Hey, you. Just like that. Now, sentient beings, of course, when they hear that, they think, wait a minute, there must be more than that.

[20:47]

That's a sentient being talking. The idea of enlightenment being more than that, it's got to be more complicated than just turning your head when you're called. Well, maybe so. Let's check it out. What is it? Now, if the person just turns their head again, but, you know, they've already turned their head, so they can't turn it again unless they've got the heavy swivel. And turning it back might be okay, actually. If they walk away, you mean, you say, hey, you, and you say, what is it, and they walk away with their head still like this? No, like, this is the way you do it. Okay, you say, call me. Hey, you.

[21:49]

You see? That just means it isn't me. Very subtle. So what's the difference between the immutable knowledge of all the Buddhas and the fundamental reflection of ignorance? Where's the difference? It's the difference between the whole being, which is that when somebody calls your name, what do you do when they call your name? You cannot turn your head? You kind of go... Now, you're supposed to turn your head when you're called, especially when a Zen master calls. You're supposed to turn your head and say, yes, ma'am. Whoa. I wasn't expecting you. You're supposed to turn your head. Or you can also go, if you call your name, just call my name. Nothing you can do.

[22:49]

Call my name, Pat. This is okay too. Anyway, there has to be an instant response. No hesitation. No hesitation. What's that? It's the lion's roar. That's whole being. The whole being of a Shmo is Buddha nature. It's a schmooze. [...] The Sanskrit pronunciation of Shmau is Sumeru.

[23:55]

Not Sumeru. Yeah, Sumeru, not Sumeru. That's the Sanskrit pronunciation of Shmau. So there's this amazing thing that the human mind can imagine something that isn't whole, that can imagine being not whole, that can imagine hesitating. We can imagine hesitating. We feel like we're hesitating. Why do we hesitate? Many reasons. One is you think somebody's just calling you, you just respond, especially if you're in China and you think it's a Zen teacher calling. You just go, nope, no problem. And they say, what's Buddha? You think, oh, now we're talking about something here. Now it's time to show something. And that thought, then you're a sentient being. You're confused.

[25:02]

They got you. It's whole being still, and yet you don't get it. You don't believe it. You don't trust it. You don't trust your whole being. So you hesitate, and you wait, and you give another answer. But of course you know that's not going to work either, so you're done. So then they say, see? You just have karmic consciousness, that's it, and you have no fundamental to rely on. That's where you're at. If you just turn your head and then do it again, then the second statement... won't be made. Or who cares what's said? It doesn't matter what's said after that. This is so easy. I mean, this is so simple and so difficult to live that way. It's like you're setting up two things.

[26:05]

How so? When you're setting up the person, there's a taste and a purpose that doesn't exist. You mean it seems like I'm setting up the affliction of ignorance and immutable knowledge of Buddhas? That's right. That's what this case is about. It's that setup. But it says that they're the same thing. But you're saying that these two things are the same thing and you're setting up these two things. No, I'm not saying... I'm saying we have the ability to imagine that we could hesitate. We have the ability to imagine that we can be alive and have that moment of life be a hesitation. we can think that.

[27:13]

In other words, that's karmic consciousness. To think that you can hesitate is karmic consciousness. Just to hesitate isn't karmic consciousness. There is no hesitation, really. But karmic consciousness would think that you could, you know, to think that you can do something is very similar to thinking that you could, you know, kind of like hold back. that imagine that you could hesitate that you could like hold yourself back from being what you are. Imagine you could be half of yourself in the next moment. To think that you can do something is to think you can do half of it. To think that you can do something wholeheartedly is the same as to think that you can do something half-heartedly. To think that you can do it wholeheartedly or to think that you can do it half-heartedly is both are karmic consciousness. No matter what you think, karmic consciousness pervades. It's unceasing in all your thoughts. And yet, simultaneously with that, the nature of karmic consciousness is that sentient beings are void in Buddha nature.

[28:20]

Or the whole being of your karmic consciousness the whole being of the way you think about enlightenment and the way you are karmically relating to the issue of enlightenment, that whole being of that is unhesitating. You unhesitatingly think about enlightenment. You're an unhesitating sentient being. That unhesitating sentient being is Buddha nature. that unhesitating sentient being is the fundamental affliction of ignorance itself. It's unhesitating fundamental affliction. But as far as I can tell, for somebody to be unhesitatingly fundamentally afflicted

[29:25]

Usually they have to pray very sincerely to all Buddhas and bodhisattvas to assist them to be unhesitatingly deluded. Almost no one is willing to let themselves be a sentient being completely. Most everybody thinks, except for people who never even think about such things, and I'll talk about them later, but almost everybody that's heard about enlightenment or Manjushri Bodhisattva thinks Manjushri is a little bit of a, you know, kind of a special creature. They don't really get it that Manjushri has all the problems of an ordinary person. that Manjushri is the prince of Dharma, the enlightening being of sweetness and light, of greed, hate and delusion. They think that bodhisattva, infinite compassion is sweetness and light about enlightenment, sweetness and light about freedom.

[30:40]

You don't need sweetness and light about enlightenment. Yes? When you do something completely, does that preclude active consciousness? If you do it, then that's active consciousness. Active consciousness is the way of thinking that you do things, that you practice and confirm something. That's a definition of active consciousness. Okay, but one thing that I hear often is to, whatever it is that you're engaged in, to be fully engaged in that. Yes. Is that different than doing it completely? It's a meditation instruction to, it's a meditation instruction which, you know, when you first hear it, you think that you're supposed to do that.

[31:44]

But actually it's telling you something you're already doing. You already are fully engaged in being Dylan, sitting over there with your hair growing. You're doing that, right? But you're not doing that. But the way of thinking that you're doing that, that's a sentient being's view of Dylan, of the life of Dylan. The other way of viewing it is that many things are coming forth and realizing this event called Dylan. In fact, you are unhesitatingly wholly being who you are. And you also may be unhesitatingly wholly thinking that you're doing something there as part of where you're at as a sentient being.

[32:50]

So we give this instruction, but it's kind of like, what is it, like we talk about this chicken and egg thing, you know? Not the chicken and egg, the usual chicken and egg thing, but the Zen chicken and egg thing is we're inside of the egg, and then from the outside we hear this news from Buddha, which says, do things completely. But the way we hear that is not exactly... what we're talking about. And then the way we hear that is our thing back. Our hearing of that is an interpretation or a response to what we hear. That's not really what it's talking about. To say that, you know, somebody say, well, just do it or do it completely, that's like a metaphor. for what it means for something which is related to that. It's called doing something completely.

[33:53]

But doing something completely is something that that expression never reaches. And yet that expression kind of goes, tap, tap, guess what this is about? And something inside you goes, I think I'll convert this into some karmic act. Another part of you goes, I don't really know what that means. And, you know, it's not so clear what that would mean. And you don't do anything. And you just watch to see what that could possibly mean. Meantime, somebody's going, hey, I'm going to do something about this. I'm going to put this into practice. Or somebody else say, well, I'm not going to put it into practice. I don't want to do this. Those are two karmic responses. But there's other responses which aren't really karmic, which are just You don't know what, you know. Now, karmic consciousness is not like herded out of that space. It's right there, lurking all the time, because it pervades the situation too.

[34:55]

As a matter of fact, your response is kind of an unhesitating, you have an unhesitating response to your mind producing a karmic version of that message from Buddha. We keep, we always convert Buddha's messages into trash. To relegate to literary form? Yeah. We relegate to literary form. We can't stand something that's not defiled, so we all defile everything that Buddha sends us so we can deal with it. We're built to handle defilement. And so we think, oh, since that message obviously came from Buddha, which I've just converted to defilement, it's probably better than a message coming from some jerk, which I've just converted into defilement. That was defiled before I made it into defilement. So converting a defiled statement from a deluded person into some kind of other defilement, maybe that would even purify it, who knows?

[36:01]

But still we think, well, still, but what came from Buddha is probably better than what came from that person. Well, that's more of the same. Then you defile the defilement. And you can defile defilement. However, it doesn't make it worse. Because it's not worse, because the nature of defilement is actually enlightenment. And yet, I'm not setting up two things, and yet... This is the, this is, and yet you can test it. You can say, that's enlightenment and that's delusion. That's enlightenment, that's not delusion. That's delusion, that's not enlightenment. That's enlightenment and that's enlightenment. That's delusion, that's delusion. You can test it and say which is which. And the saying which is which is what? Delusion. But nonetheless, you can do it and be right.

[37:05]

That's right. Delusion. What's the test? Well, this is the test. Look at that. See, she was beautiful and I said, look at that, and she became, she stumbled off. It was, it was right there. Did you see it? This radiant being, you know, she said, what did you say? I said, what's the test? What's the test? It was like pure enlightenment. And I said, then I said, look at that. And she got, and she stumbled off without moving too much. Did you see that happen to you? Did you, did you see what happened to you? That was it. God, that great. You defied it though. Huh? You defied it. So what? Think about that. That was great. She was like, you know, she was like this little kid sitting over there saying, how do you test it?

[38:15]

You know, just totally. And then, so then I said, look at that. I did it because of what I saw, you know. And then she kind of like died. She sort of shrunk into herself and became this sentient being again. That's what I saw. That's just delusion. But anyway, that's what happened. What's the difference? Well, I can say one thing is that you can't enjoy the show of there being a difference unless you pay attention. And you've got to be ready. So you've got to sit still and be quiet so you can witness this apparent thing of the immutable knowledge of Buddhists, fundamental affliction of ignorance, and the fundamental affliction of ignorance. And it can also pop right into the immutable knowledge of Buddhists again. They're going back and forth all the time because the fundamental affliction of ignorance itself is the immutable knowledge of Buddhists.

[39:21]

So, Hey you, turns ahead, Buddha. What is it? Hesitation? Affliction. Then again, as he stumbles off from that affliction, that's Buddha nature. Well, that's enough on that. Now let's read the verse. One call and he turns his head. Do you know the Self or not? What is it? What's Buddha? Vaguely, like the moon through ivy, a crescent at that.

[40:32]

The child of riches, as soon as he falls, on the boundless road of destitution, has such sorrow. So the commentary has these wonderful little dialogues about the crescent moon. And the commentary says, pretty obvious, it says something pretty straightforward, and that is, you know, this first line is about that boy turning his head. or the monk turning his head. And I like this thing, it says, as for do you know the self or not, Yangshan uses, used as unrighteous means to strike a defenseless house. If the monk had gotten a glimpse of

[41:35]

in the light of a spark, he could be said to have recognized the emperor in the bustling marketplace. If he hesitated and didn't come forth, then it would be vague like the moon through ivy, also becoming a crescent. So, you know, if you go into the marketplace, all these people bustling around, Can you see the emperor there? Who is the emperor? Everybody. Buddha nature. Or it's yourself. The emperor is yourself. And then it has this wonderful thing that they say, they're talking about the... The crescent moon, right?

[42:44]

Yangshan says, where does the crescent go, where does the full moon go when it's crescent? And where does the crescent go when it's full? Where does the immutable knowledge go when there's ignorance, when there's fundamental affliction of ignorance? Where does the fundamental affliction of ignorance go when there's immutable knowledge? Where do they go? How does that happen? They don't go anywhere. It's just temporarily not lit.

[43:55]

Temporarily not lit. The crescent moon doesn't negate the full moon. No, it doesn't negate it. The full moon doesn't get the crescent. Right. But you look at the moon, okay? When you see the crescent moon, it's the full moon, right? If you look the longer you see, you see the rest of the moon. The crescent shows you the full moon, shows you the rest of the moon. Where does the crescent go? When it's full. When you look at the full moon, the blaring full moon, where did the crescent go? In the full moon you can still see the crescent. How do you see the crescent when it's full? How is that?

[44:58]

Cover up part of the moon. Cover up part of the moon. Yeah. Look at the moon. Vicky. You know, when they look at the moon, you know, in Asia, they don't, when they have moon viewings, they don't like to just walk out in the middle of the Green Gulch Valley and go, boom. They look at it through, you know, through something. Like they put up, you put your arm up or something and look through your fingers, or you hold up, you go out there, they give everybody, when they have moon viewings, they give everybody a plum blossom to put up in front of the moon. Now it's okay. You can go out there, you know, and look at it like with nothing in the way. But you should understand that there's something in the way. So as a symbol of that, put your hand in the way. Or put a plum blossom in the way. Put a pine, some pine needles in the way. Put something in the way. at the sun to protect the vision? I mean, we always do that in looking at the sun.

[46:07]

You never look straight on or you're not supposed to look straight on at the sun. You can't look at light in its entirety. But is it just a habit form that we then look at something that's light and dark that way? Because really it's fine to look straight on at the moon. Yeah, it's fine to look straight on at the moon, right. But the only problem would be is if you look at the full moon, Can you see the crescent? No. What happens to the crescent when you look at the full? What happens to the full when there's a crescent? See, that's easier. I can see the full and the crescent, but I can't see the crescent and the full. And because it's easier, or because it's harder to see the crescent and the full, sentient beings have trouble understanding. with their karmic consciousness. Well, crescent and full is just where you're standing.

[47:08]

There's always a crescent. That's right. It just means where you're standing. That's right. So, when you see the full moon, how do you see the crescent? There's every part of it there. In the full moon, every part of the moon is a bit small. I mean, the crescent isn't just a static thing. Yeah, the full moon also includes the new moon. The new moon is very nicely implied by the full moon. And also all the crescent is, too. All the crescents. Including the non-existent crescent, the no crescent moon. But see, in some ways you're saying that we have a hard time believing that our karmic cells actually, if you knew, will not let you go through the full moon.

[48:08]

And I see that there's some symbolism there, is that we don't, we have a hard time seeing it, Preston. It's there, but we can't, we have a hard time believing it again. Through nature. We have a hard time believing that, yes. Or another way to put it is... Not another way. So one thing is we have a hard time believing it. Another thing is that we have a hard time understanding it. Because the way we think about it, to believe the way we think about it, is again, not what we're talking about. That's just more crescent moons. That's just more... It's just another example of affliction. We hear this teaching, and as soon as we hear it, zappa, we turn it into trash. As soon as we hear it, we go, okay, literary form, defilement. So, we do that really quickly, all right?

[49:15]

So, then if you have a hard time believing that, well, maybe you should have a hard time believing because you've just converted this nice little teaching into a literary form. You wouldn't let it just be the teaching sitting out there like, okay, here comes the teaching, Thank you. No. You go, here comes a teaching. Crush that teaching down. Smash it into smithereens. Convert it into something I can get a hold of called a literary form. Because I don't want the teaching. I want something that I can get a hold of. So I'm going to make it a literary form. So I defile it. But that defilement has something to do with the teaching. Because I use the teaching to make this defiled thing. So it's in a way good if you don't believe this teaching because this teaching is not the teaching, this teaching is our rendition of it. Which is a defiled version of the teaching which somehow was sent to us from Buddha.

[50:18]

So we shouldn't actually believe what we just thought the teaching was. We should understand that what we just thought was not the teaching, but karmic consciousness. However, that karmic consciousness is related to the teaching. It's like a crescent moon. We just made the full moon into a little crescent or something. We should believe the crescent is the full moon, but what we made it into has some relationship to the actual Dharma. What's the relationship? relationship is, we've just converted the Dharma into literary form. That process itself is the immutable knowledge of Buddha. So you shouldn't believe what you made it into. And what you should trust or where you should put your faith is, you should put your faith in meditating on this process. Not believing the latest rendition that you've produced.

[51:23]

Because then you rest. You say, okay, that's nice. Rather than saying, you say, oh, what you have to do is make it, you say, okay, I got a delusion now, that's nice. No. This is a delusion. It's not nice or not nice. It's just a delusion. You don't have to judge it. You've got a delusion on your hands now. And this is a delusion which is a delusion about the Buddha's teaching. Like I said in the other class, uh, The final belief, Martha, and Martha, and Jennifer, the final belief is to believe in a fiction. So you can believe in this if you want to, but remember what you're believing in is a fiction. You can believe in this, but don't believe that this is the Buddha's teaching. This is a fiction, which you just made up about the Buddha's teaching.

[52:25]

Now if you say, well actually somebody else made it up, okay, fine. These stories in here that you hear, you're hearing of it as your fictional version of what that story was. Everybody's got their fictional version of what actually happened and maybe nothing ever did. Maybe nothing ever did happen in the history of Buddhism. But all this stuff that never really happened and all this transmission of the Dharma is where nothing really happened, there were people always there, sentient beings, making up fictional versions of nothing happening. The Buddhas were always there exemplifying that no dharma has actually even come up. And there were sentient beings there saying, this is what happened. And then they told stories about that and then people heard those stories and made up stories about what those stories were. Okay? So, what you should believe is not that this is a reality.

[53:30]

You should believe that this is a fiction and believe in the fiction. Study it. But there are some fictions that are better to believe in than others. I mean... Ladies and gentlemen, we have here an example of someone who's looking for some fundamental to rely on. See? That's... Not only is it boundless, unceasing, you know, you can't stop it, it never doesn't miss a beat, and it's unclear. Not only that, okay, but one of the things it does is it keeps looking for a fundamental, too. However, it doesn't have one, by the way. We just thought we might mention that. Part of the pervasiveness of it is that it not only is confused and unceasing, but it looks for a fundamental. It wants to have some. In the midst of delusion, isn't there some better delusion to believe in than another?

[54:31]

I think there are. Of course there is. Of course there is. And you should choose the best one. But remember, you just chose the best delusion. And you also have a delusion which may not be the best delusion about how it is that it's the best one. That's another delusion. The value system which you just used. However, you do have a value system. And don't worry. Don't worry. So could you say something like that deluded mind is like saying wet water? Because when I hear the word deluded mind it implies that there's undeluded mind. There is undeluded mind. There is undeluded mind. Yeah. Okay. But undeluded mind is really undiluted. I mean, it's like really undiluted. It's so undiluted there's not even a fundamental to rely on in it. It's so undiluted, it's so undiluted that it can be diluted.

[55:39]

That's the mind that's not diluted. It's a mind which can, which totally pervades all the karmic consciousnesses which are totally pervaded with confusion and grasping for fundamentals It totally pervades that. You can't grasp it. There's nothing to it. It is our salvation. It is the nature of karmic consciousness. The nature of karmic consciousness is radiant illumination. And there's no traces of consciousness in that illumination. That illumination is the mind. It's undefiled. completely pure, and there's no traces of consciousness in it. And we're in it right now. However, it doesn't manifest in our consciousness, and our consciousness doesn't leave traces in it.

[56:46]

It is the nature of our consciousness. The nature of our deluded consciousness is perfectly pure. But you've got to watch the show and know what you're watching. You've got to realize that you're watching a fiction. I'm talking fiction now too, and you're converting my fiction into another fiction. You can't help it. You must do that. I'm spouting from my little studio here these fictions. You're interpreting them into fictions. You won't leave what I say alone. And I don't hold that against you. That's the fiction I'm telling. I could. I could get into another story and start getting angry at you for crushing my teaching, destroying it, converting it into your own little trips. But I just don't happen to be mad at you for doing that because I know you're just like me and you can't help yourself. You will not receive anything from me.

[57:49]

You will always bite it, crunch it, swallow it, cover it with all kinds of gastric juices, and turn it into heat. And then that will animate you to think of what it was. I know. I do the same thing. So it's OK. But let's be honest about what we're doing. We're working with fiction here. And you know it's a fiction. And you also know there's nothing else. The exquisite truth is to know that it is a fiction and that you believe in it willingly. But believe in it doesn't mean that you believe it's real. That's going too far. However, you do go that far. It can be.

[58:50]

And then, the next moment, there you're back in the trap again. How does that save all beings? How does what save all beings? Knowing that. Knowing what? What to believe and not to worry about. Well, I can tell you a fiction about that. Is that what you want me to tell you, fiction, about it? Or do you just want me to just let... That's all there is? Huh? I can't get the truth. I didn't say you couldn't get the truth. The truth is, actually, the fiction which I'm about to tell you, the truth is that when you sit still and admit what you see, then that saves all sentient beings. How does it do it?

[59:53]

Want to hear how it does it? That's case, what is it? Case, what was that case? Case, I can't remember the number. The iron ox. What case is that? 29? Case 29 is about this, okay? It's about this. When you... When you admit, when you can watch how you, how deluded you are and watch your mind, you know, think in terms of you doing things, when you completely do that, okay, at the extreme, at seeing the extreme limit of your confusion, all right, And in fact, that's, we are right out there to the, we're actually like, we're into it, okay? At the extreme limit of your confusion, that you do things, like, you know, like, huh?

[60:58]

What? What did you say? Yeah, like right now. Like my hand, you know, like, I think, you know, right up to the tip of my fingers, like that, okay? Then you, that world meets... That's the world where you do things, where I do things. That extreme confusion about that way of seeing things. That is the exact place where the other side of the story is meeting us. The other side of the story is that the whole phenomenal world is coming forth to realize you. And what does it realize? It realizes a woman named Jeanette who thinks she's doing things on her own. It isn't just sort of like, it isn't just that you are sitting here thinking you're doing things and you're breathing and you're thinking and you're watching me.

[62:03]

It isn't just that. Why don't you wait for what? You are being saved by the fact that whoever is doing their trip completely is saving you. And in fact, to the extent of us all making our contribution so that you can live, that is what makes you able to be like you. Now, if you then take responsibility for this, in other words, if you sit still and don't run away from what you're up to, You will realize, I will realize, we all realize how extremely confused we are. Extremely confused is that we really do think that we're responsible, that we do this stuff on our own. We really do think that way. That's karmic consciousness. And we're wholehearted about that. Karmic consciousness is not limp. It's powerful. It creates a universe. with nuclear test sites and missiles flying all over the place and extreme cruelty and great love and beauty.

[63:09]

It's fantastically powerful, this karmic consciousness. It's not half-hearted. However, if people have the ability to use it in such a way that they don't participate and sit still, or sit still and realize their participation. Therefore, they don't realize how extremely confused they are. Therefore, they're receding from the tips of their fingers and they're receding from the tips of their hairs and they're receding from the tips of their... What do you call it? What are those taste buds? And they're receding from the sense smells, and they're receding from the mind sensors. They're receding back from their life. They're not out there saying, yeah, I am a deluded person doing this on my own. This is me. Boom. They're not doing that. Therefore, they can't experience that everything is coming forth, allowing them to be this person who thinks in this deluded way. When you realize the extreme of admitting your delusion, you realize how well supported you are by that and how actually you, a deluded being, is completely under the auspices of everything else that's going on.

[64:21]

In other words, everything comes forth and makes you. That's something that you don't do or understand, but it meets you right at the limit of what you can understand. It perfectly meets you. And that illuminates you. But at the same time that it illuminates you, your delusion completes it and illuminates it. So you also illuminate the entire phenomenal world by being willing to admit how deluded you are, because the entire phenomenal world is what makes you able to be such an outrageous creature. If you admit how outrageous you are, you wake up to what you are and become illuminated by what makes you possible, and your illumination feeds back into what made you possible. So the entire sky and the whole earth are enlightened and released by your willingness to be you. illumination is not something that just happens to you.

[65:28]

That's not the immutable knowledge of Buddha. It's not just that you, the deluded person, get that you're a deluded person and get relieved from that. Your relief, your release is exactly that the whole world is released. That's the knowledge of the Buddhas. The Buddhas aren't like these people who are illuminated by themselves. The whole world is illuminated with them. And We think about that in some way, and the way we think about that is a fictional version of this, which you asked for and I gave it to you. So the thing is, you have faith. When you believe this fiction, and believing it means, if you believed it, you would then decide whether you're going to participate with it. And if you participate with it, then you're practicing what's called the self-receiving and self-enjoying samadhi. And in that space, you have constant illumination, constant revelation of what is actually appearing to you.

[66:28]

But, um, can I ask you one more question? I asked... Is that all right with you asking me that question? Can I? He said yes. I was asking you about waking up. Yes. And I said, well, you mean all the way waking up or just... And you said, yeah, like... I believe in this following my delusion, but I really feel like I'm a little bit more awake than I was a few months ago. I know I'm still drowsy, very deluded, but I think I'm a little bit more awake. And you just mentioned that it's like little steps toward participating or waking up. So... Is that right? Is what right? That you're more awake? That you wake up a little bit at a time. You don't just wake up. That concept of just waking up doesn't make sense to me because my experience is not that.

[67:33]

Well, can we first talk about this thing about you being more awake than you used to be? Yeah, okay. I don't know how awake you used to be, but the fact that you are aware that you're deluded is pretty awake. Well, I was really asleep. Some people don't think they're deluded at all. They're very, and they're very deluded if they don't think they're deluded. And a lot of people walk around, they do not think they're deluded. I mean, they don't, they won't talk about that. And they just won't entertain the possibility. I mean, it's just like totally out of the question. And these are people who basically, they have nothing to repent for. They're shameless. Okay, this is a very dark being. Somebody who admits that she's deluded or he's deluded is somebody who's in the process of waking up. People who notice that quite a few times during the day that you're deluded, that they're fantasizing, that they're entertaining a fiction, people who notice that quite frequently are people that are fairly awake, getting more awake.

[68:48]

So it's a process, it's not just you wake up. No, it is. Just let me stay on this a little longer before we go on to that topic, okay? So, as you become more and more awake, you become, you notice more and more that what you're dealing with is delusion. So there is a process of waking up, a gradual process of waking up, okay? To think that I'm waking up, however, is another delusion. It may be accurate that you are waking up, and you have proof of it because you say, look, today, about 26 times, or 226 times, or 2,600 times, I actually noticed I was deluded. I actually noticed that I was just totally cockeyed, fantasizing, and I thought it was real. Just fantasy is not enough. You have to also believe it as a reality. And I did that 2,643 times today. That's pretty awake, I would say. Thinking that that's awake is another delusion.

[69:50]

Okay? But it's true in a way. Unless you're lying to yourself and you didn't really notice that 2,600 times. But anyway, but each one of those was an awakening. Okay? Each one of those was an awakening. And each one of them just happened like that. They didn't gradually happen. You saw it or you didn't. That was an awakening. So awakening always happens. Nothing happens sort of over time. Everything happens. Delusion happens, boom. And awakening happens, boom. And awakening just happens or it doesn't. And in fact it always does happen because the nature of delusion is awakening. Whenever you create something, The fact that everything comes there and supports you is awakening. However, that's not the whole story of unsurpassable, total Buddha's awakening. Buddha's awakening is not just this, it's also this, it's the whole process. There's different kinds of awakening.

[70:52]

Buddha's awakening is, when we say Buddha's mind, it's that big one. It's not just a little bit of awakening. However, Buddha's mind completely penetrates each one of these little awakenings. Buddha very kindly can give the name of Buddha to every tiny insight. But there is also the historical phenomena that some people got to the place where they basically got to a place of realizing this case. And what did they realize, ladies and gentlemen? Tell me what they realized. What did the enlightened one realize? Yes, but they realized something about the fundamental affliction of ignorance. What did they realize about it? Yes, but what else did they realize about it?

[71:53]

Purpose. It's pervasive. They realized it's pervasive in time and space. The Buddhas are the ones that told us about this. It wasn't some kind of like... It wasn't some kind of like a little bit awake person that told us. It was somebody who actually verified that it's non-stop. In other words, they were noticing that it's constant. Delusion, delusion, delusion. That word came from the tradition. This was realized that karmic consciousness is pervasive, is unceasing. It took a Buddha to tell us this. Because they also understood that. They aren't begrudging this. As a matter of fact, the only one who can really tell us about this from experience is Buddha. There'd be no world as we know it. There'd still be world, wouldn't there? Who cares? Sentient beings care.

[72:57]

There's wonderful possibilities. Okay. Okay. Now, how can you remember this? How can you test this in experience? That's the question. How are you going to test this in experience when you walk out of here? We have this, what do you call it? We have this, is this a mojo working here? We come together here and we're talking about this. In this class, we're pretty close to meditating on this. But you can walk out the door and be caught like that. Watch and see how many times you can catch yourself at being deluded in the next two weeks because we're not going to have a class and you're going to really have a hard time next week. Well, I won't be here. And some of you have this delusion that I have this role to play. And that, you know, these are my glasses, right?

[74:11]

So we'll see if you have a class next week. I myself would love it if you did, but I don't know if you will. I'm just saying, I plan to leave town on Mother's Day. I'm running away from home and leaving the women to do their things. Because I noticed they had a Mother's Day event for mothers and daughters, not for mothers and sons. Did you notice that? Just like they used to have those assemblies, you know, they say, would the girls go to the auditorium? Where are they going? Anyway, I'm leaving town on Mother's Day, so I won't be here next Monday, but I will be here on the 15th. But I... I'll try myself and I hope you try to put this into practice, in other words, test this in experience. This strange thing of delusion and enlightenment, how they play together, immutable knowledge of Buddha and this affliction of our mind which constantly converts perfectly good ultimate reality into trash.

[75:32]

into trash. Because we know how to handle trash. We're trash processors. We don't know how to process ultimate reality, so we convert it into bite-sized packages so we can get a hold of it and play with it, which is fine. But watch yourself do it. Enjoy what you're doing. Watch yourself convert ultimate reality into a story, into fiction. Notice it, admit it, know that you're doing that, and believe it, and work with it. It's hard, though, when I stop yelling at you like this. There's no contradictory message to the, hey, here's a fiction, but this isn't really a fiction. This is a better fiction than most. Yes, I know it's illusion, but actually, it's better than most. As a matter of fact, it's so much better than it's practically real. it's as close as you can get right it's as close as you can get and it's a little better than what I had before so you know okay so it's getting close to the bewitching hour any last one moment complaints can you have any kind of relationship that isn't just imaginary can you

[77:00]

Yes, we do have a relationship that's not imaginary. There's no way to get a hold of it. It's so unimaginable and so ungraspable that it's completely safe. It's beyond all human trips. Nobody can touch it. Nobody can scratch it. Nobody can use it. Nobody can not use it. It's like totally... That is our relationship. Before and after all of our trips. Okay? That's what we're here for. Sounds pretty fundamental. It is. It is completely fundamental and you can't rely on it. It's pervasive. And it's totally pervasive. It's, you know, it's as pervasive as our delusion and if it needs to be more pervasive than that, fine. If it doesn't... Pure and undefiled.

[78:05]

It's pure and undefiled and it's so undefiled that it can be completely defiled. And so that's why, that's called Buddha's compassion. Mm-hmm. Buddhist compa... Huh? It's called what is it? Buddhist compassion does not put the brakes on when it gets to you. It completely... May...

[78:21]

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