Study of delusion is the Buddha Way 

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heard a rumor
we're talking and one one they were talking about that
what kind of teaching
what kind of kitties are offer or kind of yeah i'm kind of teachings i offer and one who said while he just has the same thing it over and over

but good this good

this year
he always seems to be more than half over
i have dedicated i have been dedicated
ah the study and understanding
of delusion
which could be rephrased as the study and an understanding of
or the study and understanding of defilement
there's a sanskrit word ah kaisha which can be translated as delusion affliction or defilement its route through the etymology of the word is stain or die
like to die a fabric something that
kind of spreads throughout some fabric
and so on the delusion and our mind and heart he kind of a kind of spreads through the whole mind and heart
now the reason for studying this sir
these this affliction or this delusion is that
i've heard and i often repeat that buddhas are those
who study and
thoroughly understand delusion
some ah non buddha's some living beings who are not completely realize buddhist also study
studies illusion but don't yet understand it
and some actually study and understand it
director thoroughly
but they haven't been to under studying and understanding at long enough to be a buddha however those who study and understand are basically in the same practice as a buddha
and even those who study delusion
and don't yet understand are definitely warming up to are getting ready for the actual meditation practice of a buddha
but the topic of affliction and suffering and delusion to be studying that you're you're basically moving towards the boot away and when you understand delusion you're really on the buddha away
however there's a long path after understanding diversion
ah this understanding can get deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper
de spend a year devoted to studying delusion is really just a little bit
what's that
that's what i said and
and then recently ah i have a
enlisted the aid of one of the most important
ah treatises
and the great vehicle
tap the buddhahood
and that taxes called summary of the great vehicles or embracing the great vehicle
as a text by that name
summary of the great vehicle
by the great body size for a sanga
but also a sign from the text i'm also
i'm also
wishing to embrace the great vehicle by studying delusion
and people come to me with delusions and afflictions and i listened to them and as i listened to them tell me about their afflictions and delusions time
trying to embrace their afflictions and delusions which is my understanding is that the also trying to embrace the great vehicle the great vehicle means
suffering beings
moving towards buddhahood so we need to embrace all forms of affliction
with compassion
on the great vehicle
if we slip up and do not embrace some being with compassion than we are temporarily and since fallen off the great vehicle

but then we can notice that and
the honest about it and repented and re enter
the compassionate embrace of all suffering beings the compassionate embrace of all delusion

so this is teaching of the great vehicle on
the he starts out by describing the creative process by which delusions arise
it proposes that there is a consciousness
there is a cognitive
process which is unconscious by ordinary standards
which supports the arising of what we ordinarily consider conscious states
so it's proposed at the beginning of this instruction on embracing the great vehicle
that there is this mind this unconscious mind
which supports the arising of all conscious states of delusion
and that this mind is
hidden as an unconsciously stored in all active states so that right now in our active consciousness of being this room together with these people in this act of consciousness where where where we're aware
that is day time and i'm talking and you're listening and not active in those active consciousnesses this unconscious
storehouse consciousness is hidden
and all these activists consciousnesses are also hidden the storehouse consciousness
so this is an example of me saying the same thing again
to say it over and over until it takes hold of your consciousness
until his
in your heart and mind
the way it's in the hearts and minds of the great bodhisattvas
who are meditating on this mind which supports all active minds and this is a meditation on how and delusion arises this is a meditation on the dependent core arising of affliction
the buddha's study the creative process of suffering
and by studying the creative process of suffering they've been realized freedom from suffering

so today there's so much suffering
so much misery
and forty years ago there was so much suffering and so much misery
so much suffering and so much misery
and i was living in minnesota forty five years ago
and i was thinking of
how i could help in this world where can i what could i do to help
i was in graduate school
in psychology personality psychology

handsome i heard some things that impressed me
one of these i heard was that
the somebody said the people who are making
the real ah
the most creative and vital contributions
the human culture
are the people who are have a sense they can like have a sense of the process of change
it's not so much who knows the most because i was in graduate school and there was some encouragement for me to learn more
am i advisor was encouraged me to read more journals
but i heard this other message was well as it's nice if some people how was your information but and learn and know a lot but have great knowledge bud
this others person said
the real the real leaders are the people who consents where knowledge is going to mean i know a lot of women i know a lot about psychology or physics or philosophy or biology or whatever they may not know a lot about it but they can tell where it's going
i them in a research in some ways
in some ways they may not be so skilful and musicians but they can tell her music is going

so i thought i think maybe i would like to be a process spotter
and then if i was a process potter from that spot in the process i could make some comment so i thought actually maybe i would be m
like gum
a newscaster a news commentator and i would go on the news and i would not just tell people what happened today and give them a hint about what's gonna happen tomorrow or where today is headed i thought there would be very
creative and i still feel that
in this world of suffering
to speak with them in the most vital
and creative way we need to be in merced in the creative process
which includes we need to be immersed in the creative process of the of of the mind the creative process on delusion because delusion i think is incense the main thing that distracts us or obscures the creative process
the delusion that were separate
makes it difficult if we believe it to see how our
creating each other how we're working together
the in the creative process
and i think the same person who made this point about the process potters are really were to ask
the people who can tell how the amassed knowledges is moving to indifferent amassed knowledge also said that in order to spot the the process that that the thing that you need to be able to anything thing you need to train yourself as not to get more information
but to develop your senses
and so any intimate some comment and the eastern spiritual traditions are
they kind of specialize in training the senses
i i think i agree to sense that the eastern traditions but as the motorway being one of them is to train the senses to learn to use them to discipline them so that we can enter the process of creation and then from that place speak with authority
in this world of suffering
so here we are suffering and effortless creative process we might say you know it might be good to go this direction or make a good to give up that might be good to remember this
it might be good to stop that it might be to help over here it might be good to do this and might be due to do that but everybody can talk like that from not everybody but most people make comments like that
they see the situation this a and i think this would be good
but almost no matter what you say somebody else disagrees
i think of be good not to you know
make lots of holes in the ground in alaska in order to get natural gas and oil somebody might say i think that some else know i think it would be good to do that
and the person who says that there would be good to do that might have a lot of money
so they can you know have that
amplified and broadcast
very strong way
but somebody else might have not much money but they might have an authority
which comes from speaking from creation
and even know that they don't maybe have enough money for their words to be on many tv stations
and all over the internet or whatever
there's an authority in what they say because not because they're smart and not because they're dumb but because they have somehow entered into the creative process and delusion
and in being there
they they become conduits for the reality of dependent arising of delusion and being independent co arising of delusion is the same place as a dependent arising of enlightenment and the authority of the borders
but food i might not go on tv
but put a myth
i was actually thinking of going on tv
the thing like walter cronkite
but it out from up
from the position of many being trained in zen and then be walter cronkite
although i thought he was pretty good actually
for example one time or i think i saw it was a political convention and there was a real crowded situation that like at him by came out to the national convention to choose a president and news people are there and and are moving to the crowds and if used as
if you saw some famous person some famous tv commentator moving through the crowd and you talk to them
you know they they might be
you know not have especially getting him a camera whether they might deserve to say excuse me i gotta get through here for there might even be irritated with you and mean to you
but i just remember that somebody in the he was actually the film but he didn't know he was being filmed he was being camera eyes but he didn't know that a camera was on him and somebody came up to him and talk to him and kind of on his way somewhere and the way he responded the person
even though no he didn't think anybody was watching i thought was very kind
and it was a very busy crime situation but he is famous person could talk to this ordinary person in the crowd
and i thought
if i was in a position to speak and i could have that kind of compassion that's what i would like to do
but i felt like i needed to be trained to in order to be able to do that i could do it alone that i could want to do it
but i needed to be trained in order to actually be able to do it even in a crowded busy situation
and so i thought well maybe zen meditation would be good
and i still think maybe it is present meditation in a speak of and meditation as how to relate to what's happening in such a way that you plunge into the creative process
have afflicted states of consciousness

so some of us may never be on tv may never speak ah if we may speak to people by women never speak to some of the people we'd like to speak to with women never get the ear of people who disagree with us
what we might
for example you might go into a grocery store
and where the people in a grocery store think there's really a good idea to drill holes in the land and put lots of chemicals in with the drilling equipment because as necessary in order to get thief
natural gas they don't think they want to poison the landed on particularly wanna have caused the natural gas to go into the drinking water that's not their point they just want to get the natural gas
but they know that they might know that the price of getting the natural gas is to i pollute the drinking water not just the drinking water but
the water period some of which you can drink
simon they may know they may not know
alyssa they do now and i think well it's so important to get this not for gas that i'm sorry bunch
the people who live around here are gonna have explosive water coming out of their top
and now those movies you can see where people you can like the water coming out of their tap in places like you know wyoming and salon where there's a huge reservoir of natural gas and will have thousands and thousands of wells going into the land air and the people who live there are having
explosive drinking water plus they're also getting sick
not so much from the natural gas the natural gas next or water explosive but there's the chemicals that they put into the land into the drilling is making the people sick
and some people who are doing is drilling
and even government officials who allow it or you know saying well you know i understand but there's there's no kind of there's no kind of ah
energy that's perfectly pure
even the sun you know can give a skin cancer
so ah says so you know
i let him do it
who can you say to them can we stop this place could we reconsider this until we find a way to drill that doesn't make people sick
hawkins who can say something so that people who disagree with them
listen who can go into seven eleven
and speak to the people in seven eleven who are republicans or democrats who agree or disagree in such a way
to protect beings and to get beings to study themselves

well i say the person
who can do it is the person who studies delusion
everybody can say something but the person who has the most thorough study the most authority is a person who studies her delusion all the time very deeply
as a zen zen a dialogue which goes something like this who can untie the bell strings around the tiger's neck
you know people put bell strings on their cats some to protect the the birds
i guess in ancient times some of the tigers had bell strings around them learned to who can untie the bell string
an answer is the person who tied it
the ring was put her on the tiger's neck and the tiger was little probably
so the garden of forest they find baby tigers and a puddle strings on them so when they grow up with so when they're little and they grow up people know the tires are coming here come the tigers as be careful now here i can hear the bells as or tiger bells
the best the person is going to be most likely able to untie them as the person who goes in ties bell springs or on tigers
it still may be difficult
but maybe they put the jousting around very kindly and the tiger sale high at you again
and that in the process of actually i'm not going to take the bolstering off yeah i'm just coming to say hide because i think it's good that you have it on but i couldn't take it off if it would be helpful
i'm taking my see i would you please take it off on it just makes me harder for me to hunt
the person who can dismantle delusion and affliction is the person who's there at the origins of delusion and affliction

and i know it's not even a person it's it's it's the being not even a person is a being who is immersed in the creative process is a being which is nothing other than the creative process is nothing in addition to the great the way of being in the creative process without being a person actually there or not a person
that be that way of being actually that way of being is the being is the way that has the most authority to speak in the presence about what's most important for the welfare of all beings

this book this treatise on embracing the great vehicle at teaches that the physical world that we live in which has
ah all these questionable ways of real leading all these ways which seem to be harmful there are going on in the physical world this book teaches at that physical world
is this is our shared consciousness
the physical world is cordless teaching the his consciousness
and that consciousness can be transformed we know the physical world can be transformed and we have some problems with some of the ways has been transformed we also know that our mind can be transformed and we have problems with that too
but this books talking about by working with your mind with your delusions your the basis of the delusions the storehouse consciousness which is the basis of all the united states that basis can be transformed and it alludes states can be transformed and the world can be transformed isn't just that we work on our own
mind and we become transform your liberated the world simultaneously has transformed and liberated the physical world
is entailed and us working on our own according to this teaching

it may not be that this meditation will in the near future
ah stop abusive
exploitation of the land and the sky and the waters it may not stop it
but it may bring peace
even before these abusive practices have stopped
and in peace
some of these abusive practices my stuff

so again same thing over the fear the night before last
ah talking to tracy over in berkeley
there's a slight difference between embracing
delusion is studying delusion
prior to entering into the creative process of delusion and studying delusion and embracing delusion in the creative process
studying it prior to entering the creative process there's still some sense of separation from the delusion
and the activity of embracing the delusion is still somewhat dualistic
to be kind to delusion as a positive
evolutionary effect ah i say has a positive evolutionary effect on this consciousness which
is the physical world
harder it does not by itself cause liberation in this physical world
in order to avert further to be liberation within this consciousness
which means liberation from this consciousness in this contest as enemies liberation from the physical world
a means liberation physical world without the physical world changing right now
and again once liberated in the physical world we become the most effective agents in the physical world once freed
we can then speak with authority by hard to be in the physical world
in a way that will
the most peaceful and beneficial to our bags
if i now filling dualistic were thinking of separate from you i can be kind to that sense of separation if i'm now afraid of you if i'm afflicted by being afraid of you i can be kind to that fear
if i'm involved in gain and loss if i'm here i can be kind to that involvement with gain and loss
you know people are crying out of gain and loss you know economic gain and loss people are very
uncomfortable with the situation
people are like going over know we lost all their money and and neglect follow but we gained all that money or we lost all them money over again all that money
and it's very painful and scary so how to relate to it how do we need this
with compassion
if we're compassionate do it i think right away actually maybe we feel some benefit
and some positive transformation of the situation even know
at that moment things are just the way they are
but if we continue to practices way we enter into a deeper round where we are actually free
and more effective than before
and again i often i had slow already caught this little course which i have told you about before which has basically six steps or seven
for the first step is
you can say commitment
second step
is relax
for relaxation third step is play or play second is create or creation third is understanding a real it mattered
one to first reason is of creations five community last place commit a relaxing to plays three create is for and understand or realization his
five six is deliberate or liberation
change the sisters
for the first one was love
the first the first was love is the same commitment to commitment and will i didn't say when to commit to yet commit to love
the first one is commit commit to love not just love but commit to love
commit to compassion
then you can relax
to relax without committing to compassion might not be good idea
but once you're really committed to compassion than the next the next step can that would better to relax with your commitment not relax your commitment life give it up for abandon it but don't be tense about your commitment this is a big important thing great compassion for all beings
alice relax with that
because we don't yet again if you if you're committed to compassion that still is good
that's still transforms the world
because you've transformed the mind which is the world
compassion transforms the mind which is the world of not the world of reality but the world and suffering is the mind the storehouse consciousness and if you commit to to compassion that transforms this mind
but you have not yet entered the creative process
which leads to understanding of the duration
and again practicing compassion is one thing and practicing compassion does transform the mind which is the world
it transforms the world which is the mind but when you commit to love when you commit the compassion it transforms it more deeply
that's the first step
jeff christian
the defense of things compassionate sleep
for like i might say
i would really give me i hope he was his anything i can help you with today and i might feel you know are you might tell me i'm feeling terrible music
i'm here
i'm here is i can do to help you and i might be really trying to be generous with you and i may feel uncomfortable to see you suffering but i might be practicing patience with that discomfort and i might be practicing catholics
in i'm life
noticing i've i'm thinking let's see how can i become famous famous helper and this woman
so i'm practicing these the i'm practicing compassion towards you as good and that transforms the mine which is the world
and then the next moment you start doing something else and i don't practice compassion
and i said
but if i am taxing compassion deal with you like set the example i gave before and i it and i commit to continue this with her no matter what she brings to me i commit to continue this practice then the next moment if i don't practice compassion i feel really bad i feel not good because i said i would continue
not just now i feel good being compassionate now i'm not being compassionate but so what i didn't say i would be
but like as fanatical
i would like i would like to not feel good whenever you're not compassion yeah and if you commit to not being compassionate if you tell somebody
actually if you commit to being compassionate
and then you don't follow through you don't feel good bodhisattvas who are not practicing your mileage do not feel good
people who but some people are not practicing good who in a moment ago practice good and they feel fine are practicing it because they didn't promise that they would
if you promise you tell somebody the truth and you don't you feel worse than if he didn't promise and they feel worse to can you said you were
tell me story tell me to tell me store we promise that your would
if you just say okay i'd like to be kind everybody and then you relax my several know him and i'm relaxed with mike with that wish i didn't actually i don't wonder anymore
that's the relaxation is not going to promote plunging into create creation
but i want to be good i want to practice good i want to give up harm and i commit to it then i can more likely be able to dare to relax in this world of affliction
if you're committed to being generous
if you committed to be honest you can more easily relax with what's happening
it an fun i propose is necessary to realize what's happening in order to be able to play with it
and it's bordered is necessary to be able to play with affliction
it's necessary to be able to play to play with delusion
an ignorance in order to enter into the creative process
the gives rise to ignorance
and suffering
ignorance karma suffering ignorance karma suffering ignorance commerce offering ignorance come in order to enter into that the creation of that
we need to enter into the playfulness with it

and what would the playfulness
it is if you see something like if you see suffering and you don't play with it than you think it's you think it's the way it looks to you
they think this is a suffering and that's it there's no room there's no there's no play in the situation
well like a child can say you know
you're a frog
they know they know your tracy or the legacy you're a physics professor

are you relax by the way
your friendly relaxed and can you play with being a physics professor
yeah etc
get the point if you can bring if you can don't see the point of view of you playing to pretending to be physics professor you don't see the point of that
an awesome and see the point of playing and for
he don't see the
you don't see the point of ways
about twain
i'm saying because if you don't if you're not play for you can't enter into creation
if he can the creation then you're outside creation
which is were most people think they are they think does me and creation
he said that playfulness allows you to sponsored resources seriously
when you're being playful you're not taking yourself so seriously
whatever the easy part that's if i think i think i've seen some more than what's easy part can i take yourself seriously
painful as obviously you know most people have a hard time not taking yourself seriously hard has a heart most are very seriously
most most people looting themselves seriously and most people take their suffering seriously and they take the suffering of some some other people seriously some people take the suffering of this person's heresy and not the other person seriously enough
but let's talk about whether taking you seriously then they need to be relaxed with it isn't that isn't that suffering shouldn't be taken seriously and just send to take a so seriously that you tense up then your separate from it and if your separate from your separate from the creative process of it and if your separate from the korea
the process of it you're separated from understanding it
suffer from creative process of me
well like you look look at something and you think that the things over there separate from from your from you're creating any creating you
you think it's substantially exist separately president
during this process together and you can't get ahold of yourself or the other thing
it's like two people dancing
that isn't one dancer or the other dancer is something that happens between them and they don't neither one make it happen but it doesn't happen without them
and the dance isn't what they think it is over they do think that it's a dance but some people are dancing they don't prefer dancing
and other people think they're dancing but they're not
but he wasn't regardless of what you think a dance is now what you think
but but you thinking whatever you think you could you could think lots of different things you can think well actually i'm gonna make with this person i'm trying to impress this person no thought of a dance you didn't do you doing this dance but you're actually thinking you're doing something else but there's a dance their this
all is a dance
it is never what we think it is but whatever we're thinking is part of the dance so a person is thinking this and pushed his thinking that and their density of their thinking is part of it what's going on if they're think of something else it will be a different dance but it's not what they think
he i think i try to there's a word since for wintertime that the sentiments of sanskrit word chacha
anyway it's a people people are often feel like i'm here their their their suffering or i'm suffering i wish they would help me i wish i'd like to help them
and they are not plunged into the creative process by which the sense of me and her arising the creative process by which with me and her as arising is the active consciousness that were separate arising supported by this unconscious
mind which is the world
which is our packed the results are many many uncountable moments of feeling separate which support us to feel separate an hour to have to see separate is now
and then based on that separateness we the separateness than believers separateness his affliction is pain they on that we act and they will create more minds which support the rising a more affected states
we're not i must stop in the process right now we're talking about transforming the basis of it
and the way to transform the bases
is by doing wholesome things they transform it and as they transform a more and more than you get to a place where you can hear about making a commitment to this
wholesome activity
and based on the commitment to this wholesome activity based on doing wholesome activity based on doing wholesome activity based on doing wholesome activity you come to a place where you can commit to wholesome activity
with witnesses in a community with somebody who means something to you realizing that it would make a difference to people and then you can make this commitment then you can then you're getting ready to be able to dive into the process of reality
which starts with relaxing with the situation and then entering into play playmates again means that some play in the situation which means there's some play in you that you're willing to at least temporarily pretend to be the other gender
are you willing to play being open to what the other gender thinks of your gender or what the other gender thing so here view of the other gender and you're willing to sort of be open to the maybe it except what they think about you and to hear that they think that you really
way off base and to do that in a playful way not really sick if they say you know you read our stand not to grasp that has yes that's the way it is i don't understand but also give up lingo of i do understand but don't rigidly hold i don't understand and if they come they come to say what you do understood
and and say okay i do understand and take hold of that but lightly and then he started to enter into decree asian
and then from there he started to understand the delusion is not reality
and reality is not division and is again
when you understand that you don't hold that you're playful with that see hundred and during the creative process of your understanding and then you become free
of this world of affliction and from that place
you are liberated and you can liberate

ah she's in sand trap an hour you going to play in the sand trap
yeah is it will call the sand
is why sand
it's a it's dusty so dusty sandra they didn't they didn't have water down before you started playing in it
so actually i so i think that's good that they don't spend too much water on this golf course


the balance

it makes you want to weep yeah
here are i'm pro play with the weeping
you don't wanna play with weeping and discouragement
well in our immortal of situations again where yeah he's gonna say the same thing again
so here we go the for gonna say he's gonna say come it
two compassion
will start all over even though you're already comics come out compassion stato i commit again to great compassion great compassion is i now i commit to being kind to this to this weeping and tied to this discouragement
discouragement and discouragement of this world welcome
this this is the discouragement today i welcome to days discouragement you are welcome to come and dump
discouragement for right here this is a discouragement dumping area and fi am committed to embrace this discouragement and embrace these tears with great compassion which means generosity
ethics means be very careful because you gotta be careful of discouragement if you're not careful with it you can
you know you can only be a sand trap which you can hate yourself with the wedge
you know poet pull the wedge out of the golf bag and hit yourself and ahead with it if you're not careful
so here we are in the sand trap of for stuck in this dandruff of discouragement and fear and tears and we are boys sought for in the sand trap for a practice compassion with this sandra
and we're committed to it and now it's time to start plane
hope there's a golf bag here
and there's golf bag over there and i have a feeling that person thinks they are not one eye on this one i'm a access they can i you can i play with your to clubs today
and i'm not taking so seriously for me getting my mall out of the sand trap
i'm concerned with playing not a winning
and so maybe i'll just send the side gets interesting idea that i would actually borrow somebody else's clubs but the use your own clubs say well why we just trade close for a while i mean i know i have clubs but i'm just thinking mimic a trade and some pick on my wake up and say has written an interesting idea
i'm calling the police
are you willing to go to jail and are deliberate all beings i'm already in jail so of course i mind to go to jail delivery hobbies i voluntarily entered jail i entered the sand trap deliberately liberate all beings that's what i'm here for
i'm in hell
i'm in sand trap discouragement health i got here to help all beings nine here and i'm gonna practice compassion hair and been inch and and also gonna play some and asked the actually asked people if i can trade compassion tools with them
can i have your patience for a while
thank you you've gotta give you my patients
and then gonna keep playing until we feel like whoa
whoa i don't even know what's going on now
this is what it since start to seem like wax when you're incorrect when you're actually in creation need or know who's doing what anymore
and sardinia to practice you have to keep practicing compassion and be generous towards the fear that might arise before i was discouraged and i'm and nine don't even know discouragement it is more than i'm afraid discouraging was bad but lisa had discouragement now i don't even know what discouragement is or who's discouraged i
really scared
how do you have any possessions anymore
i used to at least have some can i used to have some tears and a body in a golf golf clubs and discouragement mean i don't even have that i'm getting scared what if to keep practicing compassion when you get scared when you're starting to be successful
successful and compassion and now because of being successful and compassion you're starting to be a little successful and wisdom
but as you started to be successful wisdom you see you need some things you notice you haven't been seen for a while or you've been pushing away like for example the ungraspable nature of our relationships the fact that who you're looking at you don't know who it is actually you don't know what you're looking at
in creation you don't know what you're looking at whether you don't know if you're looking at yourself or somebody else or neither for both and actually think none of those categories actually work those four categories don't work who you're looking at is not not you and it's not you and it's not both you and not you and as me neither new you know you none of that you can
can't get it with any category and that can be pretty scary you have to keep practicing compassion in order to stay in the creative process and long you stay there the more you understand
and more you understand more liberation
now as the world been completely healed at that time yes or no i mean innocence it has been liberated and our lot of people don't get it yet so i have something to say
and so you speak from there
he expressed the fruit of liberation and wisdom
the fruit of compassion and
the and and entering into the creative process into version which is buddhahood
the it
yes but before you propose the crisis something
it's important he he had he he said he knows that had an idea
i get an official gay
so now we're going to hear an idea of is beneficial he's gonna propose this idea yes
beneficial for me
frozen interesting

i hear you
yeah such the an example he's he's he's saying something to me and i'm committed to embrace him with compassion
and part of compassion is to welcome the idea
and then no part of compassion is to be careful of this idea and be careful of my response
to be vigilant you know that i'm being honest about what you know and to be patient with perhaps lou a little or at least a little discomfort about whether i'm gonna start twittering and face looking enough
hey so honestly
i feel are at this point
the step for step has been taken
that what was that these words that are coming on my mouth now will go on the internet
so that's happening and at first i thought this is really weird that people are listening to me through a computer but i've been trying this for awhile and seems to be going pretty well
nobody saying would you please stop making yourself such that people can hear you on the internet so i'm doing that for wow it seems to be all right
however i am not looking at a computer right now i'm looking at you
and i'm able to feel like i'm i'm going to be compassionate to this person is making this suggestion and i hope i can be compassionate to this person way makes other suggestions which might be even more
but i'm not talking to a computer right now and i find a way to start talking to compute look at computers i don't necessarily feel like i'm i have trouble or actually embracing the computer with compassionate is harder for me so if i can find a way to feel that i'm embrace
a living beings and also embracing my own state with compassion and i'm entering new creative process with this computer there and his twitter equipment then i would do it but it it's gonna be and that i would be quite a stretch it would be a new dance for me to learn
and so but i'm i'm willing to try but
basically people wanna have various communications with me in ways other than what's happening right now
what's happening right now as face to face and this can be recorded in people can listen to us and i people for will probably be listening to us have this conversation
but i don't have to stop being face to face with people for them to hear me say this
for me to go away from people
and do this with a computer i'm not sure yet that that
who would be authentic from me at this time and my evolution
so but i hear you and

and that's my question here because i feel like when again i i a stinker fish for us and people asked me if they can keep in touch with me from around the world like i'm not yet doing skype with people
ah some people are and i say okay but for me i just feel like it's hard for me to do this things i've tried to do a little bit i just feel funny about edge on feel comfortable and not sure it's beneficial for me to do it
so i say to people i'm sorry but i'm kind of a face to face person
but i but i appreciate that you're saying this and now the world can hear that you asked me in broken here the times during the request and not sure that i want to enter
that round partly because it's also partly on
distant given our example about
maybe ten years ago approximately maybe even fifteen i retired from doing weddings
wedding ceremonies
and part of the reason i retired from it was because i felt like other people are many pay for many other priests are able to do that it and center now
the some even want to ah and where you know what have want to start or want to continue and i feel like other people can take care of that and but there's certain things which i feel like if somebody asked me to do
not too many other people can do it like for example funeral i still do funerals
i haven't retired from that because i feel like down that not so many people can do that and also nobody gets divorced after the funeral
there's everybody's totally committed and never goes against that commitments
of the funeral so i retired from that in order to work on things which other people aren't during like this text
as far as i know nobody else he made it that nobody else
a steadiness and on the planet right now i mean in terms of like study with with a song of some scholars are working on this text
and but i don't know if anybody else's is discussing this with people
it's something which isn't it nice not gonna be a bestseller this book
ah people read this and i think very quickly would quit
without a lot of encouragement from somebody like me
so i look at what what are the things which i can say i can do that nobody else can do and i can barely do those
so many other people ah it's more like their generation or their phase of of evolution in their practice that the twitter and facebook thing would be
when they left they could do it in some sense secret nsa for me you can do it for me
oh and are you can even say can i do something for you on facebook and they could tell me what it was like i say yeah
so sometimes the people are using these
yeah if they're working with me face to face in some sense
ah i'm responsible the third dinah and they're responsible that i'm doing what i'm doing and outcome is conveyed through their internet life
but i'm not closing the door on what you're on you're requesting i just tell you a little bit about high kind of come to a conclusion about where i'm putting my attention i mostly putting and face to face
what the twitter stuff and go on potentially and for the twitter and facebook stuff can go on my less endlessly right
yeah but this face is only around little bit longer so i gonna wanna do this physical thing as long as does his physicality and part of me doesn't want to do it much longer because it's sundaresan to have a body
i kind of would like to die tomorrow why didn't before it gets really embarrassing
but time he feels like know i should just keep offering this more and more embarrassing situation you know as i need for you to wash how i can't remember what i you know at the beginning of a sentence or something to watch my speech become more and more slurred to
watch the saliva dripping down my cheeks to watch you know my be going blind and not be able to here for you to see how i deal with such an embarrassing physical degeneration might be
a moreno a special gifts that i can give kisses this number on internet
ah this visit countless physical embarrassment isn't really enough if i can finish the sentence is safe and a big deal
i can remember press the send button so nobody knows
can find this can find the sand
can it get the fuel can get him get on the internet
but it even hung on internet if you see my deteriorating body and how i deal with it
so when i watched as a garage die
you know what i mean i have often said this i was sitting there in one day and he he was a dharma hall and a buddha hot citizen ernie
he looked at me and probably other people may have felt like they were looking at them but he looked right at me and said things teach best when they're dying
and i thought why is he saying that this is just
nine months before he died he knew he had cancer and hadn't told us
but that really drilled into me that he was dying and he told me that things teach best from your dying and when he said that that really taught me really well because he was dying
so now i'm dying and so my dying the dying part of me is really kicking well
and i just don't know how that comes over on facebook will see
but it then i must admit easel embarrassing when i'm speaking after really work to get the care at the end of the speak
speaking it's like the big effort to pronounce these words
if i don't make a pretty big effort than the kind of the boards kind of fall off the edge of the tongue and
i hear the slushy sound
it's kind of embarrassing

yes you say you say the same thing as i asked some questions or ask a question he asked
but i now see okay
so i had dinner last night with that sentencing
quite a serious practitioners yes
yeah i have dinner with a friend of sizes a very serious tibetan faster than a sought me out to sea she was very excited
the world
so she thought it was a very encouraging thing that he's so committed
to justice
food to just the offices really passionate
somebody sees people like drinking out of bottles and in inconsistency
can practically grabbing the battles with yes
saw it felt like
kind of as a zen practitioner myself as remember what you said the night before starting with love is in his footsteps and as thinking she's not started with love right there doesn't seem to study with anger and then i think okay what made me my job now is to have a
loving response to her he made it as must have something to do but don't know that there's not much to watch the word most just drop the word most and change it to maybe that would be helpful
and i would say yes and maybe of one k continue when i was questioning is
he's my collection in the world work or to saving all central themes
does on one hand
using even more people should be granting miles away in not letting bombers go up in the air but then an the zen passes no matter what it is just a minute
the zenpad is definitely definitely absolutely a one thing as absolute and that is
the loving that absolute buddha is absolutely loving no exceptions
k that absolute
that is complete utter commitment of the buddha is to love all beings
but without attachment
that's why we need to playfulness and salon are you and your friend who is happy to who who's happy to be angry now about this stuff some extent
you say one should shouldn't you start with love but maybe she already did start with love if she already did didn't commit to the welfare of all bedding sets her basic commitment and now she's happy she got hanger but when you heard this when i heard you say that i thought you know caffeine is not all bad
caffeine is not absolutely bad
he was in december
nora's anger and and as you may have heard
people who are committed to the welfare of others for lot of those people say that
self righteousness and anger are the sugar and caffeine of welfare work
some people you know are committed to the welfare of beings but when they get angry and they get up and
no exercise at work that that commitment and they feel good to exercise their commitment
but it is like caffeine pills can drawbacks
so you know if somebody needs your help can you say i'd like to help them and i'm committed to help them but i'm too tired
if anger would help you get up and helping navy is and okay
but it's can even you're gonna have a you're going to have energy dip after that so it's better to do with optic anger
but if you can help somebody and you won't do it if you're not if you want to help people and you won't do it for not anger well maybe being angry i know some great you're using drink coffee in order to get to their yoga

yeah you you might even you might even learn that used to say okay i want to help people i have to get angry again in early i'm too tired now to go and i do his thing for people but i'm and i think about how terrible would be to not do it i am i get angry because i think i'm i get angry i get up and work
some some people do that and it's not all bad but
the point is that this at this level of working i think we're not yet we haven't yet hit the paydirt
of creation when you're when you get into the realm of creations you don't need caffeine anymore
you don't eat sugar
why you need is rice
he knew need some rice otherwise you're gonna git you know he do need some rice or you do need some carbohydrates
you know it's not right away because you can use your body your body can break down but you don't need those things because you in touch with this fabulous energy of our relationship with each other then you then the then then your mere you're cooking and don't need to get yourself rolling but sometimes i already get yourself a rolling have to say
okay now
i am okay i'm in a practice i'm i'm committed to compassionate and and then you started doing this compassion work and using camelia go and kick these bottles away from people but again
how can i miss this is this has got me going now i'm a bunch at the bottom and now again i start practicing compassion middlesex may i have that dialogue could you donate a bottle to me i don't talk to about that bottle
yeah you can i come back to generosity so you're committed to generosity but sometimes you get tired to to get angry about generosity and or to go to practice generosity and then after practicing you can drop the hangar
and just do these compassion practices
it's not all bad to get angry it's just it's a it can be temporarily expedient we shouldn't be we shouldn't be rigid about no anger
the buddha was very in fabric
about anger but he wasn't region he said
if you're into hatred you're not my decipher my disciples are not into a will he was emphatic but he wasn't rigid about it is very creative and wonderful and loving beings who were in the hint
he loved them and he loved being to run into
compassion he loved them both they said those are into your will or not my disciples and those who are into compassion are i love you return on my disciple when you're into your will
and you can be angry with know your will
you can display i hate it when i don't do good
but then you're tired out from that
mean you do though the least you said i wanted to good but then you put data from an excessive energy displacements
so it's better maybe to say
did you say i hate to and i'm not good
an amen of a kind
i go again i told his story when i was twelve years old i was really enjoying being bad because i've made me very popular
i was i was like when the leaders in my school had been bad i did some things was none of the other boys and girls dare to do
i got to go to jail when i was twelve years old
and none on the other kids in my school had ever i lived in my upper middle class neighborhood none of the other kids had ever been to jail i had been to jail
i took a car from a gas station
twelve year old of course i didn't have a driver's license and i didn't know how to drive
so the car got crushed up
and then the police capturing them
the thief
it was not classified as grand theft auto
he was classified as taking the car without the owner's permission
since i went to jail and i was and when i went to a dance the night after i got out of jail it was like a ticker tape parade
it like law here he gonna you know
and in my apartment building where i lived there was a big man who loved me
how is a big boy i'm not very big now but i was a precocious twelve year old
as like five
six can read about hundred fifty pounds at twelve
but isn't that of my treadmill and who loved me and he was six ford he with to forty
and he loved me and he was nineteen forty six national heavyweight golden gloves champion
he said to me now it's easy to be bad
what's hard to be good and i thought okay
i'll try to be good
if that's you know
if that's hard i'll do the hard thing for him and it has been hard it is hard to it's easy to be bad actually
but it is harding be good and sometimes if you're committed to be good familiar to get angry and or just gets some going okay
but it's better deserves say is better is topical
you know it's hard to be bad it's easy to be bad and it's hard to be good and it would really be good to be good and i really want to be good and i i really do want to be good and in that way work yourself into a frenzy of energy to do good
but not the shortcut is just get angry and self righteous and to ah
but to work yourself up by contemplating how good it is the practice compassion and t feel more and more yes it would really good and i would like to be good even when everybody's cool to me and even when everybody's polluting and throwing these plastic bottles all over the world and making huge piles and making run a much
knee on pulling i want to practice compassion that would really good then
if i can be compassion in such a terrible situation wouldn't that be wonderful
wonderful wonderful thing if i could be compassionate when when things are really really bad when people are really really rude and attacking me i would like to come back with
treat them just like somebody who was praising me and i would also like to treat people who are praising me just like people who are attacking me that's what i want to learn and does stories and people who related to attack and praise the same way those were another thing that led me to them i want to learn how to do that
as we're talking about here
but still
a little bit of anger if it helps us do that it's okay

maybe three negative
the idea of clay and anger
with so that you see a lot and his claims they have a server has been planned and we get so serious about our anger that author is clean the footer were angry about disappeared with to thin
sort of it
pardon he just now to sort of right exactly so when there's anger and winter i'm not talking by using anger to do good but when there is anger than we should be compassionate to the anger and play with the anger and be creative with the anger anger is as a perfectly good opportunity for compassion and creativity
and wisdom
so no matter what absolutely we should be compassionate towards anything including you will the buddha was compassionate to go well and the way he was compassionate was he said this is not my disciples don't do this but that was his playfulness he was playful with them
he wasn't region sending you know you're not my disciple but i love you and i'm in a tissue that you're not my disciple and i'm in a teacher how to be my isn't recycled right now you don't seem to wanna be you want to be now my disciple and use he succeeded
you're not
but i'm your friend and if he would accept that than you and be my disciple
if you will accept my love than you're gonna sleep with except my lovely and apparent as it can be no your well there if you would accept this love and something in no thanks for your i don't want it
and then the next minute they did
never ready
so yeah but again we have to be committed i think to nonviolence can already be playful with violence
that doesn't it doesn't read into the the the created the creative process where we're not separate from the people
in a violent way and athena
separating wife
the word
something is increasing as much as i say i to like to embrace i do embrace others as you embrace the teaching for truly dumb i feel i don't because if i was doing it i will see a different thing than who i am today yeah
i would say commit to being compassion to this person who is not the person she wants to be
you're not quite the person you want to be yeah
simon see if you tell me that and i want to be compassionate to you
who's not yet the person she wants to be
i wanna be patient with you who is not the person she wants to be i wanna be generous towards you who's not the person she wants to be i want to be careful with you was not the person she wants to be
and i've got anyone commit to that and then i want to play with the person who tells me she's not the person she wants to be
and if it was indifference looking myself i would do the same practice
so i would wreck i'm now i'm playing with you to tell you to do the same thing with yourself that i'd wanna do with you
and although i wanna do that i might occasionally lose track of that
now i'm not really accept that you're not the person you want to be and wanting to be you know you told me what you want to be you're not doing a one and i could even do that perhaps in a loving way
and i don't get on and i'm really generous towards you and i really appreciate you and i'm reading carefully and i couldn't talk to you that way but in my heart maybe i really really
i'm not feeling nasty towards you and i really really don't think down better than you and i really really am calm with you and i really been not nasty with you and i'm really really gender with you
being in person who i know you don't want to be or
being the person who is not yet who she wants to be i'm patient with you not yet realizing
when all the things you'd like to realize and i've taken myself being not yet fully realizing who i want to be so i wanted to be this person who when insulted and when praised basically response to both the same way kindly and the same way basically i wanted
to learn that i've learned a little bit in these forty some years and i'm happy i learned a little bit i'm glad that i learned a little bit and patient with that i haven't learned a lot
or completely
i'm patient with it i'm not always that way
and when i'm not that way than i sometimes when i said i'm i'm coming up short
i sometimes notice it i'm honest about it and patient with it and i'm generous towards it sometimes and that's what i'm keen to learn and sometimes i practice what i came to learn and when i don't
the hydrogen that descending a said again
that's my number also noticing wish that were coming short i'm only wish to be is part of the practice that i want to learn
because we're always kind of short until his complete brooklyn so
we do this practice of noticing that we're not quite there
until and actually beyond buddhahood
so none of us really have to if you understand the we're all heading towards buddhahood all of us are not quite who are all of us have not quite realized who and what we really are
who and what we really wanna be
some some part of me i do you
he says there's nothing more or less have wished for the the train then i keep the the i see that i am that and then i'm not i keep
yeah right you see a melanin but without a certain gonna practice it seems like we're not even though that's the way it is without a certain kind of practice it seems like it's not and so on we slip into practice we slept in the realization and
ah takes a long time to never slip in the realization
and when we do slipping realization we have a realization in a sense because we have a practice which is realization when realization needs lack of realization realization practices with it in a certain way
when realization meets a lack of realization than realization practices with the lack of realization in a certain way it practices compassion towards lack of realization that realization in the case of lack of realization
and they all kinds of place for ways to work with that but this isn't very well established principle of the buddha dharma is that enlightenment meats like an enlightenment with
well established lack of enlightenment missile
lack of enlightenment the lack of enlightenment with cruelty and punishment and impatience and non generous and you know blah blah blah i'm better than eunice
but can wisdom and buddha's enlightenment meets all these shortcomings with compassion and it plays with this lax
it enters in your creation with them and then when it offers it's gift to compassion compassion comes with authority
it isn't just compassion is a compassion which understands that when is compassionate towards is not separate from itself
and this is the most effective compassion
so we need compassion when you join it with wisdom in order for the compassion to be fully sweet and fully nourishing
and fully startling
and wake an open awakening
so thank you very much for let me say the same thing again
the a extend really
the and place
the as way
ah to say man
asians are inexhaustible ah to and then
a saw boundless hi to enter them buddha as way is unsurpassable hi to be come in
the now we have a practice called lunch
actually it's like you're making like again
when other thing i repeat often than eating lunch before and after in life