is the world of the dragon. It appears and disappears and sports serenely in the great water. The sky is the home of the condor. They fly and sing freely. Why does the tired, exhausted salmon stop in the pool before the great waterfall? Is there any way to measure gain or loss?

[01:04]

If you can stand it, I'd like to go back now on this dark night to the pools of Redwood Creek where there may be some tired, dying, pregnant, and determined female salmon, studying the waters, studying swimming, searching for the path of right action.

[02:09]

Can you stand it? To me this is the same as when the great master Lupu was tired, and in pain and about to die. He was also determined to accomplish something before he ended his life. Are you in a pond now, in a pool, before a great waterfall? a dark and murky pool wondering what is right action? Or are you a dragon doing flips in the great ocean?

[03:22]

How can you tell the difference? So Lupu said to his monks, I now have a matter and I want to ask you about it. If this is so, this is adding a head on top of your head. If this is not so, this is cutting off your head seeking light. To me, both this female salmon, as I imagine her,

[04:37]

tired from her long practice and yet having still something more to accomplish. I imagine her and Lupu alike that they both have come to the end of their journey and are both cured of sentiment. they're both tired and in pain but they aren't going to let the drop in water temperature discourage them they're patient and they don't expect anything If we can be patient with what's happening without expecting anything for our patience, without expecting anything for accepting what's happening, this is to be cured of our sentiments.

[06:18]

Lupu says, I have one thing to ask you about. He's determined, but he's also saying, help. He's cured of sentiment, but that doesn't mean he can't ask his students for help. He needs their help. If he says, this is so, he doesn't need our help. He just puts a head on top of himself. You can say, this is so. Lupu can say, this is so.

[07:29]

But if you don't say, this is so, then you need help. Because all you know how to do, all I know how to do, all Lupu knows how to do, and all the tired salmon knows how to do is this is so or this is not so. That's all we know how to do. That's all we can do by ourself. However, neither one really are worth the effort. What's worth the effort is to stay in the water without going in an extreme, without copping up, copping out to what we can do by ourself. That salmon cannot figure out how to jump up over that waterfall.

[08:32]

She cannot figure it out on her own. She did her best and didn't make it. Lupu is the master, a great master, but he has to ask his disciples a question about the place between this is so and this is not so. This is his way of asking about the middle way. The middle way is not something that you and I can do. It is something that we can ask for help. We can ask our friends. We can ask the Buddhas. We can say, how about it? And the salmon can say, how about it? When do I jump? Where do I jump? when is the moment for me the central benefit of Zen is not from manipulating situations is not from trying to use life

[09:58]

But it is in directing our attention to the fundamental, to the ultimate concern of our life. It's not about promoting the ups and avoiding and preventing the downs. it's about turning our attention to the place beyond those sentiments to the end where we're cured of caring about ups and downs and there it's easy to say please help me please help me I don't know what to do I don't know what right action is.

[11:06]

I gave up knowing. I used to think it was so or not so. I used to think it was this or that. But now in the end, I ask for help. I'm tired. I'm close to death. But I'm determined. I may slip into this is so or that is so, but that's just a slip. My intention is to cut down the middle, a middle which I don't even know what it looks like. Now I am a tired fish stopped in the pool. But if I can harmonize, not with what I can do, not with what is useful, but place what is true above what is useful.

[12:17]

And not true in the sense of righteousness, but true in the sense of what is happening that I place harmonizing with what is happening above usefulness. Some people, what do you call it, the returns are coming in on my question, little by little. You, I, you, I, You're telling me what is your ultimate concern, little by little. You're looking, you're finding little hints of what it is.

[13:22]

So someone told me that her ultimate concern, she didn't say that actually. She said something like, what she's concerned about is that she wants to give up resistance. Now maybe she didn't really say that, but that's what I heard. She wants to give up resistance. She wants to be pushed around by everything. I thought that was good because that's not what you're supposed to say. What Zen actually leads you to is a place where you're not pushed around by everything, supposedly. But not really. The fundamental, in the end, you're not pushed around by anything. In the end, you're in harmony with everything. You're not getting pushed around the way things are happening is you. But in the meantime, I thought it was good that she said she's going to let herself get pushed around.

[14:29]

Getting pushed around is not useful. When you sit zazen, you just actually get pushed around. You don't push zazen around. You don't push the Dharma around. You don't push your breath and your body around. They push you around. And if you stop resisting that, pretty soon you'll just be what you are, which will be totally useless to you, but exactly who you are. If you can sit that way, if you can stand that way, if you can walk that way, if you can think that way, if you can feel that way, that's called being cured of your sentiments we have strong sentiments it hurts and we get pushed a little bit this way it is pleasureful and we get pulled a little bit this way these are our sentiments in the end we will be cured of them and we will just be in pain and be in pleasure

[15:41]

She's in the cold water in the dark. She's exactly the temperature she is. She's precisely at a certain depth and she has a certain amount of strength. That's it. That's the only thing she's got to work with. But there's a time for her to make her move And the time to make her move is the time of the way things are. Right action is not something I do. It's not something Buddha does. It's not something you do. Right action is simply what emerges from the way things are. So can you let the way things are be more important than what you can do?

[16:58]

If you can, right action is realized thus. Seems to me that what I said is simple but very hard to believe. We have such a strong habit to approve and disapprove, to do and not do. So I hope Lupu was successful and I hope that the tired salmon is successful.

[18:45]

And I hope that we will be successful. in practicing a way which cannot be grasped. Even though I can say, grasped, grasped, I can put that thing at the end there, grasped, grasped, We have a little girl who lives here who's learned how to say yes. She says, yes, and then she puts a TH at the end, yes. And when she puts that thing on the end, she feels very good. She smiles. She goes, yes, yes.

[19:49]

And when she does that last part and completes it, she really feels a sense of accomplishment. That's the way things are. The fact that things are that way is where right action comes from. It's not right action to say, yes. It's actually not the right way to say yes. You're not supposed to make a TH at the end. But anyway, when she makes that sound, the fact that it's that way, it's in there the right action comes out. Nobody can use the fact of the way she says that word. So Lupu says, all right, I'm going to ask you about something now.

[21:14]

Ready? If this is so, if this is not so, uh-uh. So one monk comes forward and says something which I shall not repeat and gets scolded for it. The next monk comes forward and says, please teacher, don't ask us about this. Now some people think that the reason why he says teacher don't ask us about that is because he's dying. And they don't, well, what's the story? He's dying and what? They don't want to get distracted from that situation?

[22:19]

What did that guy say, Martha? What? I can't hear you. That guy we were walking out of class with, he said, the reason why he thought the guy said, teacher, don't ask us? No. Okay, I'll just ask you. What do you think would lead someone, this guy's dying and he's saying, okay, I got this question to ask you about. If this is so, this is putting a head on top of your head. If this is not so, this is cutting your head off. Seeking life. And then the monk says, putting aside these extremes which you told us to avoid, I beg the teacher not to ask.

[23:34]

What's that about? What is that to you? Did you see a salmon flying through the air just there? Did you see a tired, exhausted fish leap out of the water? Did you see a tired fish plunge into the depths? Did you see a tired fish smash into the side of the cliff? What did you see? You know the Zen term for a, the term for a Zen woman or a Zen man? No, it's, well, that's one of them, yeah, right. Iron. What is it? Proctor Silex iron. Another one is translated as a vigorously jumping fish.

[24:38]

But the actual word is kapatsupatsu. Kapatsupatsu. It's the sound of a fish vigorously moving up out of the water or smashing back down into the water. Can you hear that? Listen. Listen. Putting these two aside, I beg the teacher not to ask. Does that sound like a vigorously jumping fish? Do you know what a vigorously jumping fish sounds like? It sounds like the middle way. Is a middle way a vigorously jumping fish? Yes? Well that's it. Hit it Jerry.

[25:42]

Am I ready? I'm ready.

[25:46]

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