Hey, you're okay, Lynn. I can see you. Last week I was talking with you about the Bodhisattva's practice of diligence or heroic effort or zeal, enthusiasm. I'm not going to review what I talked about because then I won't get to the new material.

[01:10]

The things we started to talk about were the four powers that develop this heroic effort in the practice of compassion and wisdom. The four aspects are called aspiration, steadfastness or confidence, joy, and rest or relinquishment. First, aspiration. It's said that aspiration is the root of all the virtues.

[02:16]

It's like a tree. The root isn't the whole tree, but it's the root. The trunk and the branches and the flowers and the fruits and everything else, the carbon dioxide, all that stuff, and the oxygen that it produces and so on, all that has roots in the earth. So aspiration is like the roots of all the practices of virtue. And then through those roots, the energy to practice comes up into all the practices. And what's meant by aspiration here for the Bodhisattvas, it's a little bit different type of aspiration than just general aspiration.

[03:31]

I think the root of the word aspiration or aspire means to breathe into. Like there's respire and expire or inspire and expire, to breathe in and to breathe out. This is to breathe into. So it's like something you're breathing into. And so in this case, the kind of aspiration that's meant is an aspiration to the truth or to the teachings for Bodhisattvas, in this case. This is the root of all the Bodhisattva virtues. And the root is actually an aspiration and a keen interest in the teachings for Bodhisattvas. And the teachings for Bodhisattvas are teachings for practices for Bodhisattvas.

[04:36]

They may sound like saying the way things are sometimes, like the Buddha teaches that all phenomena that are compounded are impermanent. That's a teaching. Yes, it's a teaching, but it's also a teaching which isn't just said so you know that and you're informed. It's a teaching to then receive and observe and meditate on and live according to. That's the kind of teachings these are. Maybe other teachings are like that too. So aspiration is aspiring to these teachings, to the Dharma. A keen interest in the Dharma is the root of the heroic effort. And the root of the root, the root of this interest and aspiration is, this is kind of a big root, I mean kind of a tough root.

[05:58]

It's said to be constant mindfulness and reflection on what else? Karmic cause and effect. Last year's topic. So in Bodhisattva practice in general, but also even in other kinds of Buddhist practice that aren't specifically for Bodhisattvas, there's a basic teaching and this teaching, if you receive it and remember it and reflect on it, this kind of way of being with the teaching of karmic cause and effect, then energizes the interest in further teachings on how to practice virtues. So the meditation on karmic cause and effect is the root of the aspiration to practice all other Dharma practices.

[07:07]

Meditation on karmic cause and effect isn't the whole range of teachings and practices, it's not the only practice, but it's proposed now that it's the practice which is the root of the practice which is the root of all the practices, including the practice of meditating on karmic cause and effect. So meditating on karmic cause and effect, meditating on dependent co-arising, meditating on how things are other-dependent, encourages us to give up unskillful behavior and practice skillful behavior. It encourages us to aspire to all teachings and be keenly interested in all teachings of all virtues. Now having said this to you, the thought does cross my mind,

[08:20]

these teachings for Bodhisattvas sound kind of challenging. Not only are we talking about practicing giving and ethics and being careful about everything and vigilant and patient, but now when we get to enthusiasm we're told that we even need to learn certain practices to support our practice of enthusiasm. That's right. So the next, before spending more time on this very basic and important point, the next practice is the steadfastness or confidence, heroic, again heroic confidence. This is the heroic confidence that goes with heroic effort. This is the confidence which is like a confidence that I wish to practice good,

[09:45]

I wish to practice wholesome behavior, I wish to practice skillful conduct. In general, and in general I am resolutely determined to do so. I have a feeling of heroic determination to practice good with this precious life. I really want to and I'm resolute about it. And then last we could talk about being lazy and thinking, oh no, it's too much for me, that's lazy. Be kind to it, but it's lazy. This is not lazy, this is heroic and Shantideva calls it pride, heroic.

[10:53]

Heroic pride or it's bodhisattva pride. This pride is the pride of I really want to do the very best that I can with this life. I want to and I am resolute about it and I'm determined about it and I'm confident that this is the way to go. I'm not saying I never forget, but if I do, I'm resolute about confessing that I forgot. I'm resolute about I'm not going to change my mind. I'm resolute about getting really more and more skillful. I'm not saying, I'm not resolute about already being skillful. I'm as skillful as I am and I'm as resolute about becoming completely skillful because that's what people need from me and others.

[11:56]

And this is a pride, a pride in Dharma, a pride in the bodhisattva path, a pride in the Buddhist family. But not pride in the Buddhist family in any way disparaging other beings. And there's not the least bit of the kind of arrogance or conceit that you think you're better than anybody else who doesn't do these practices. So one of the practices to be resolute about is not lifting yourself up and putting others down. That's a very good practice to have confidence that you're going to practice that practice. As a matter of fact, this kind of confidence, the bodhisattva confidence, is what frees us from thinking we're better than other people.

[13:04]

That kind of confidence, it's not all that's required, but that's a key ingredient in not thinking we're better than others, is to have confidence that we're going to practice the precept of not putting ourselves up and putting others down. So in the Metta Sutra it says, One is wise but not puffed up. So this is a pride that shouldn't puff us up. It's more of a pride that should have us put down our roots, put down our bodhisattva roots into the ground of all living beings. Put our roots down into wholesome practice. Really, I'm going to ground myself, I'm going to commit myself,

[14:05]

I'm going to anchor myself in the commitment and the resolution to practice good. I really mean that, and I feel really good about it. And when I start feeling really good about it, then I move into the next aspect, which is the joy, working on the joy of practicing any kind of virtue, but particularly practicing now the aspiration which fuels all the other virtues, and the resolution in the practice of all virtues. And then the fourth point is to rest. And again, this is a kind of dynamic relationship between never rest and rest. So in other words, I think pretty much it's good to learn to rest.

[15:09]

To rest enthusiastically, rest with heroic confidence, rest with resolution to practice resting in a wholesome way. And also, when you're doing some good practice and you've done it, then realize you've done it and move on to the next thing. Also, when you're doing a practice, a wholesome practice, and you haven't finished it yet, finish it before you move on to the next wholesome practice. Which goes back to the steadfastness. And part of the steadfastness, part of being confident, is before you engage in a wholesome activity, inspect or assess your ability.

[16:15]

And if you do not feel that you are going to be able to do it, part of your confidence would be to leave it aside for a while, until you feel that you do have the ability to do the practice. So when you start it, you've already assessed it. However, when you start it, you don't need real strong resolution right at the beginning, because you've just assessed that you think you can do it, so then just try to do it. As you get into it, then you may need to bring up this confidence. If you get into it and it gets hard, and it still seems to be good... Again, in many texts it says, once you start to do something good, do not turn back, no matter what.

[17:19]

But I think actually, no matter what, as long as it still seems to be good, but if you somehow find out it's not good, then you shouldn't do something which you now realize is harmful. But there are cases, or there's cases like that, where you start to do something, you think it's going to be beneficial, and you realize it's not. Then it's okay to stop. Does that make sense? What's being talked about in the teaching is, once you start to do something good, and actually, as you start to realize even more how good it is, it's even better than you thought it was, and it's starting to get really hard. And it's saying, don't turn back then. The confidence is, this is what you really want to do, and also the confidence that it's really harmful to stop in the middle of doing something good.

[18:22]

It's fine to stop in the middle of doing something bad. Say, I'm sorry, I want to stop this, I don't want to do this anymore. But not in the middle of doing something good. So again, part of confidence is, I want to practice good, yes, I'm determined to practice good, and now which of the many goods is it time to practice? I think it looks like there's this one, this one, and this one I can do now. This one I think I can do. This one is too advanced, I'm not ready for it. This one is too easy, it's actually fine, but to repeat it is really not developing the practice. So I'm going to do this one which is just right, not too hot, not too cold, just right. Not too hard, not too soft, just right. All three are good, but this one is just right for me. I can follow through on this one.

[19:26]

And then you get into it and you think, oh God, I can't follow through, I can't, no, no, no, that's lazy. That's a self-disparagement again. That's though, I'm too wimpy. No, you've got to keep going, this is good, keep going. Do not get into the habit of giving up on good practices. And if you don't, then you develop that steadfastness to follow through on easy stuff too. So, Linda? I was just wondering what kinds of wholesome practices these might be, like as an example. Like be patient. Like be patient. In a certain situation, or you mean practice, say I'm going to practice patience.

[20:27]

Yeah, and then a pain comes, or you go in a situation where you think people might be rude to you. And you think you want to practice patience with them. And you've learned a little bit about patience, and you actually kind of know how to do it, and you actually have done it maybe in the past with these very same people. And here's another chance to be with these people again. Which are often called your family. So here you have a chance to be with them, you know it's going to be difficult, and you've practiced patience before, and when you did, you didn't regret it. You practiced patience with your difficulties with them. And you think, it looks like I'm going to be with them again, so I would like to practice patience, and I think it would be good, and I want to do it,

[21:30]

and I have confidence I'm going to do it, and I'm determined to practice, I'm resolved to practice patience with these people who I love, who I'm devoted to, and who are very difficult for me. And then you get into it, and you think, no, this is just too hard. Now, too hard and taking a rest is different than too hard and giving up. You shouldn't give up on practicing patience and start becoming impatient. That's not good. Now, if you were wanting to be impatient with your family, and then you were practicing impatience, it would be okay to give that up, and switch to patience, that's fine. But that counteracts the habit of unwholesome practices. We don't want to undermine developing wholesome practices like patience. So once you start trying to practice it with something,

[22:34]

then follow through. And again, rest can be part of following through. Like, this is so difficult, I want to be with you, I'm really having a difficult time, I'm going to go take a nap, I'll be right back. I need ten minutes to walk around the block, I'll be right back. Not just walk out the door, passive-aggressive, I'm having a hard time, just give me five minutes, or ten minutes. And if I'm not ready in ten minutes, I'll come back and ask for ten more, or whatever, or an hour, or a week, whatever. Anyway, you take a break, but you take a break with the intention of coming back, you really mean that, you're practicing the precepts, you're being careful, you're being vigilant, you're noticing that you're getting to the edge of your patience. This is all part of continuing the practice, not stopping it. Not stopping it because you're getting tired,

[23:38]

or you're becoming despondent, or you're becoming self-deprecating, and thinking you can't do the practice, that's lazy. You're just thinking, I want to continue, I need a break, but I'm not giving up on this, I'm not turning back on this good thing. Or giving. If you want to give somebody something, assess whether you really can give it to them, whether you think you can really give it without expecting any reward. If you think you need a reward, I would say, put it aside, don't practice it, until you can do it wholeheartedly and then when you feel, okay, now I'm committed to practice this without any expectation of reward, and now that I'm doing it, it's getting difficult, you should follow through. Again, some gifts are so difficult that you really should consult with a lot of people about them. For example, like I mentioned, giving body parts. You should talk to your friends and teachers about that

[24:44]

before you do it, because you do not want to get into it and try to change your mind then. That would be a disaster. It would upset everybody, plus it goes against developing the practice of giving, to stop in the middle, or to resent it afterwards. Now, we could just go right now into the next practice, the next virtue, the virtue of perfecting meditation. Again, this is perfecting meditation for bodhisattvas in this context. Some people meditate to get into certain states, and the bodhisattvas

[25:44]

bodhisattva meditation is basically the meditation of concentrated, focused mindfulness, calm, flexible concentration on this wish that lives in the Buddha's mind. They're focused on this altruistic wish to attain new Buddhahood in order to help all beings in the greatest way. They're focused on the altruistic wish for enlightenment. That's the focus of their meditation. In other words, they're focused on the mind of enlightenment. They're meditating on the mind of enlightenment. One of the bodhisattva meditations

[26:52]

is called the heroic stride samadhi, or the heroic stride concentration. So, the bodhi mind, it can also be called the heroic stride, or the heroic ride, or the heroic slide. It's like, I wish to stride into the bodhisattva path. I wish to heroically stride the bodhisattva path of enlightenment for the welfare of all beings. So this heroic effort flows right into the concentration and focus and calm, flexible presence with this heroic effort, with this life of developing virtues and wisdom for the welfare of others.

[27:53]

When Shantideva is talking about this virtue or this perfection of meditation, he spends quite a bit of time praising the virtues of solitude. The way he was talking about it, solitude had this quality of being the way you are when you're out in the forest, away from the cities. And chariot traffic, and the marketplace, and lots of noise and hubbub. So I don't know where we are now, but a little while ago,

[29:03]

we were sitting quietly in some sense gathered together the way we are. We actually, I think, had some solitude here. This class is a situation where the causes and conditions of solitude seem to manifest to various degrees for various members of this group. So another meaning of solitude, which doesn't contradict the previous one, is emphasizing the way you can be, sometimes, undistracted. There's kind of like a solitary agenda. There's one agenda. Solamente. Solamente bodhichitta. That's it. That's all we're doing. And there's a kind of solitude there. And if you're in the woods,

[30:08]

or in the city, somehow, we need to recognize as limited beings that we need to sometimes make arrangements so that we can focus on what? Well, in this case, practice on the bodhisattva path. Practice meditation on the bodhisattva path. Be focused. Be centered. Be calm and be flexible with this heroic path, which we now feel committed to, resolute about, patient, enthusiastic, careful, vigilant, generous, and now we're going to focus. And I like the heroic stride because sometimes you're standing

[31:08]

someplace on the earth and you think, okay, the welfare of all beings. You think, the welfare of all beings. I want my actions to be for the welfare of all beings. And then you take a step. And sometimes when you take a step, you forget in the movement, you sometimes forget that you wanted your step to be for the welfare of all beings. And somehow you may need some solitude to stop and refocus. What am I walking for again? What am I striding for? What's this stride for? Oh, this is the stride of the hero of enlightenment. This is the enlightenment hero stride. So that each step is for the welfare of others. Others' welfare, others' welfare,

[32:09]

others' welfare, others' welfare, others' welfare, others' welfare. To learn to stay focused as you move and then stop and be focused when you're still. And then when you move, others' welfare, others' welfare. To be committed to that helps to do that. To be resolute that you're going to practice that is the root of practicing that. Without that resolution, it's easy to lose it. With the resolution, it's also easy to lose it. But it's more likely that you can continue it if you really feel determined to find a way to remember to make every action. So that's why I say the stride, but also the ride. Ride, ride, even if you're driving, ride for the welfare of others.

[33:10]

Drive for the welfare of others. Walk home for the welfare of others. Learn to not be distracted from that, from that, from that bodhi mind, from that selfless, joyful mind. And you have heard many times instructions like, don't cling, don't reject. So you're sitting here trying to remember to be focused, and then things change. Something's happening. You see somebody. You hear something.

[34:15]

So how do you, and what you hear is not necessarily, what you hear may be, you know, Laurie's cell phone. You didn't hear that. Did you hear that joke, Laurie? You missed that one. What was the end of it? Oh, you did hear it. So you might hear Laurie's cell phone. Well, Laurie's cell phone isn't necessarily the same as, I wish to live for the welfare of all beings. Does it say that one? Or you may hear, I love the sound of the trains here. Those trains almost say, bodhi mind. Can you remember when you hear the trains? Bodhi mind. You don't have to, but don't let the sound of the trains take you away from bodhi mind, and then the trains are part of your remembering bodhi mind.

[35:18]

So Bodhidharma taught his, the legendary founder of Zen in China, taught his main disciple, he said, outwardly, don't activate your mind around objects. You know, when you hear a cell phone ring, or a train go by, or you see a beautiful face, or if you see a frightening face, or if you feel fear, or if you feel agitation, whatever you feel, maybe I should just stay outside, when you feel outwardly, don't activate your mind around things. So again, I mentioned now, I'm going to visit a Zen center in another city, and people say, oh, we're very excited about your coming. And I think, again, now we're very excited about your coming means we're happy about your coming. And people ask me, are you excited about going? I say, well, I'm trying not to be. I'm trying to be calm about going.

[36:28]

I'm so calm about seeing you next week. I'm serene about meeting you next week. And I might say, I'm practicing serenity about our meeting, but I must confess I feel a little agitation. I'm worried about seeing you next week. Well, Bodhidharma taught his student outwardly in relationship to various tasks, in relationship to all beings, don't let the mind get activated around those things. There's some activity whenever you see somebody

[37:32]

or hear something, that's an activity. But around that activity, around that thing you're knowing, don't get activated. And then inwardly the same, he said, no coughing or sighing or gasping inwardly. All the things you see inside, no coughing, no scoffing, no sighing. Oh, that feeling again. Oh, not this again. Oh, not this again. No coughing. Your energy, that coughing and sighing, it's like they're related to your energy, your chi, right? Don't let your chi get agitated and get tossed about by what's going on inwardly. And then Bodhidharma says, with a mind like a wall, people don't like that, but anyway, he said with a mind like a wall,

[38:33]

in other words, you make your mind like a wall. Your mind is like happening, arising and ceasing, very dynamic, but it's also like a wall. It doesn't get activated around things. It just is with what's happening. But tonight I was feeling, this afternoon I was feeling, that instruction, again, is given by a Bodhisattva teacher. He's teaching Bodhisattvas. So it isn't just make your mind real calm outwardly and inwardly, just for that itself. It's make your mind calm for the welfare of all beings. Make your mind like that for this Bodhisattva task, for this great task of staying on the beam

[39:33]

of being completely helpful to every being. Have a mind like a wall about total devotion to all beings. It's not just a mind like a wall, period. It's a mind like a wall which is engaged with all beings. It's being calm with this great project. It's being undistracted by what's happening outwardly and inwardly from this task, from this mind. It's not just doing this to develop tranquility for yourself. It's developing tranquility, focus, and flexibility for this mind which is for the sake of others. And then Bodhidharma says the fourth line is,

[40:39]

thus you enter the way. When you can be like this, when you can have a mind like a wall, thus this is the way you enter the Buddha way, the Bodhisattva way. It's not just to be a great concentrated yogi, undisturbed by whatever happens outwardly or inwardly. It's to be undisturbed so that you can be a Bodhisattva and not get distracted from your work by the tremendous dynamism of the work. So again, when Shantideva is presenting this meditation, he makes quite a big effort in his very poetic, lively way, about helping people not be distracted, basically.

[41:42]

But again, what I'm emphasizing is, this practice is not so that you get to be undistracted and calm. It's about being undistracted and calm so that you can do this very active practice of practicing these virtues and developing wisdom to help all beings. If one would just develop these concentrations for oneself, you would find them beneficial to yourself. To be undistracted by the things I've just mentioned and many other things, in terms of worldly states of consciousness or worldly states of experience, it's the best. If you're rich, it's the best. If you're poor, it's the best. If you're healthy, it's the best. If you're unhealthy, it's the best.

[42:44]

To be calm like that, to be basically in bliss with whatever is happening. Sounds pretty good, right? It is. As a worldly state, it's the best, in a way. It requires some of these other practices, too. But we're not talking about that in this class. We're talking about developing a selfless state of mind for the welfare of others. But to develop that, you also need the skills which someone would need in order to just personally be happy. Some of the same skills. Namely, to not get, to not be hysterical or obsessive about what's going on outwardly or inwardly. Then you don't have to be on all kinds of drugs. You can actually be happy. But not really, because there are still some people who are suffering,

[43:48]

and that's going to bother you a little bit. So, that's the basic thing of this chapter, which I feel very happy to see it this way, because in the past I felt a little funny about all this effort to be undistracted. It seemed kind of selfish. But now I'm clear that this undistractedness is not undistractedness for the practitioner. It's undistractedness of the practitioner for the sake of others. Which, of course, is really the best thing the practitioner can do for herself. So, there's one more big step which I'll introduce here, and that is, if we are now able, somewhat successfully,

[44:52]

to be undistracted from these various practices, not just this one, but all the previous practices we talked about, also to be undistracted when we're doing those. And those help us be undistracted for this, concentration on the bodhi mind. When we're able to be fairly concentrated, then we start to purify these practices now. Not start, but continue the process of purifying these practices, and in particular now purify the practice of concentration on the living for the welfare of others. And Shantideva introduces two sets of practices to really, to make this bodhicitta really bodhicitta, to really purify and clarify the bodhicitta. And the two practices are

[45:52]

to meditate on the equality of yourself and others, and then meditate on exchanging yourself with others. So now, if you can remember this wish to live for others' welfare, now start to concentrate on protecting others more or less the same way, it's always a little bit different, but basically with the same level of warmth and kindness that you would give in protecting yourself, or that you would give in protecting yours. The way you would take care of your grandchildren, it might be kind of the way you would take care of yourself.

[46:56]

And hopefully you take care of your grandchildren with as much warmth and kindness as you take care of yourself, and then learn to take care of other people's grandchildren and grandparents the way you would take care of yourself. Learn to care as much, or equally, I should say, for others as you do for yourself. Bring mindful of that into this meditation, as a facet of it. Okay, I'm living for the welfare of others, okay, great. Now, in this process of living for the welfare of others, do I feel a little bit more concerned to protect myself than others? Well, work on that. And then he also talks about things like also the suffering of others. You don't really feel the suffering of others,

[47:59]

however, their suffering is the same as your suffering. So although you don't feel their suffering, they have the same suffering as you. Now, if somebody has a broken leg and you have a headache, it's not the same suffering. But those kinds of suffering is not the suffering we're talking about. We're talking about the suffering that comes from believing in my separate self. And the suffering I have around that, when I'm suffering around my sense of my separate self, it's the same kind of suffering that you have when you believe in your separate self. So our suffering is actually almost identical, our real suffering. The real problem suffering is identical. And my real happiness, not my worldly happiness, but my real happiness of being free from this

[49:00]

is the same as your happiness. That we really are in the same boat. When it comes to these fundamental problems. Superficial problems, like rich people, do have different problems from poor people. But when it comes to the basic problems, the fundamental problems of self clinging and the suffering that comes with that, we're in the same boat. So part of the meditation on living for the welfare of others and developing ourselves in order to better help others is also to, along with that, learn to see others as equal to you. Learn to see their happiness as equal to yours, and yours as equal to theirs, and your suffering as equal to theirs, and theirs equal to yours. Learn that, along with this. And I think that's enough for now.

[50:06]

And if you want to bring something up? Yes. I hope I don't become long-winded. You hope what? That you're not long-winded? I hope I don't become long-winded. May I have this dance? If I feel you're going on too long. May I? Pardon? May I cut in, so to speak? Yes. I've been very overwhelmed by a book by Will Mortensen called Stones into Schools. And it seems to me like a workbook of everything, or almost everything you've been talking about. And there's a horrible outbreak that happens in Pakistan

[51:07]

in which all of a sudden thousands of people die because the people who were born there. There is this man who has the impulse to go and see his family, to meet his mother and so on. But all around him there is this need or this suffering. So he ends up holding the hand of a wounded little girl whom he doesn't know. And that's his dream. Right there, that's his little girl. And that's very moving. On your way to help your little girl who is over there, there's a little girl right here. And you might think of skipping over this little girl. Because you want to go help that little girl? Do you really want to do that?

[52:11]

You may never get to the little girl over there. Anyway, this little girl right here, you can definitely, don't skip over her. So I think that's the basic principle. Don't skip over this little girl to help that little girl. And care equally for this little girl and that little girl. And the one who is closest to you is the first one. As Suzuki Roshi said towards the end of his life, now Zen Center is getting big and people need to make appointments to see me. When Zen Center first started, he didn't have very many students. The Japanese community were his students, but they basically came on Sunday.

[53:17]

And during the week there were just a couple of old gentlemen that watched television with him. But there weren't people waiting in line to see him. He wasn't yet well known. And actually he died. Just as he was becoming well known. But still, as Zen Center was growing and he was becoming more well known, he couldn't see, not everyone could just walk up to him and talk to him. Because he'd be already talking to somebody. He had to wait and make appointments sometimes. And he said, but you should know, he said, that when I'm talking to someone, I'm talking to them for you. So that's another lesson which I try to practice is when I'm talking to one person and I know somebody else is waiting, I try to talk to this person for the person who's waiting, rather than rush through seeing this person

[54:19]

so I can see the next person and not give them very much. So give this person a little bit and give this little person a little bit. Now, give this person basically everything, not just for this person, but for the person who's waiting. And that's kind of hard sometimes, but I think that's the way to go. Rather than give everybody not enough, give one person enough for everybody. And tell people who are waiting, they should be thinking, boy, he's spending a lot of time with that person for me. Rather than what they do think. Well, he's spending more time with that person than he does usually with me. I wish I could think of that much to talk to him about. So this is part of it,

[55:23]

this is part of the meditation to purify, is to take care of the person in front of you. And sometimes taking care of the person in front of you like I used to try to practice this on my way home. Particularly in the early years of my marriage, I would be leaving Zen Center in the city to go to my apartment near the Zen Center City Center. And as I was walking, particularly after morning service, to go back to the apartment and have breakfast with my wife and daughter, people would sometimes ask to talk to me about things. And so partly I thought, oh well, the bodhisattva spirit, I should take care of these people on my way home. And none of these people had an appointment, they just saw me and they had something they wanted to talk about. And going home to be with your family may not seem like some big, great bodhisattva thing, to have breakfast. But all these people asking you for help, maybe that's your big bodhisattva so you've got to help them.

[56:25]

But actually, if I didn't talk to them, they wouldn't feel disrespected. They would know that they're catching me on my way to breakfast, especially if I told them. And they would say, almost always, fine, see you later. But my wife and daughter waiting, they don't really need me to have breakfast with them, but they need me to come home because they're waiting for me. And if I don't go home, they're disrespected. Does that make sense? So I finally learned to say to these people, I'm going home to breakfast. And they go, oh, okay. And that was taking care of them. It wasn't like my wife and daughter are more important than them, it's just that I have an appointment with them. And if I keep them waiting for a virtually endless list of people, it just insults them and hurts them. But it doesn't hurt these other people. But I have to explain to them

[57:27]

I'm a human being. I'm an ordinary person. I'm going to breakfast. And they kind of go, oh. It's actually kind of encouraging. Oh, you're a Zen priest and you're human, like me. Okay, great. Have a good breakfast. Rather than, here he comes, and he's Superman, so I want a piece of that. No. This is just an ordinary person who has an appointment. And if he doesn't follow up with the people he has an appointment with, he will be hurt. And he also is a human being in the sense that people think he's great, so he'd like to take care of everybody. But he has to give up that grandiosity and say, you know, I'm limited. Please excuse me.

[58:29]

And that's taking care of people. That's not skipping over them and saying, I'm not going to deal with you because I'm going to go be with them. It's taking care of them now. But in an appropriate way, which in some cases allows you to take care of the other person. Not always. I mean, if in fact somebody was having a heart attack, I could stay with them. But that wasn't usually the case. Usually it was just somebody seeing me and wanting to talk to me. So there is an art to it, but that's part of the thing about vigilance, about looking at yourself. Are you trying to be superhuman and have people think you can do anything? Well, that's weird.

[59:34]

Watch out for that. Or are you being kind of like, oh, I can't handle it. Being kind of lazy in the other direction. So again, trying something that's too hard is a kind of laziness. Trying something too advanced is a kind of laziness. Overwork is laziness. And two kinds of overwork. One is try something too hard, and the other is keep doing something that you should stop. But you just sort of got the momentum, you know, one more blah blah, one more blah blah, that's lazy, vis-a-vis this heroic effort. You're draining yourself. Overwork is a kind of laziness. Wholehearted work is not overwork. And also just trying something too hard is kind of lazy. Yes, Lisa? I have a question

[60:35]

with regard to what you're saying and the steadfastness. How does one distinguish sometimes between something that is difficult and something that is harmful? Do you have an example? Well, like giving up smoking. It doesn't seem to be harmful. I mean, you know, cigarette companies will adjust. They've got plenty of money, as far as I know. And if you stop, there will be one less person to sue them. So giving up smoking is kind of hard, very hard. Pretty easy to see it's hard. It doesn't seem to be harmful. But again, that's one of the reasons why we have a sangha and teachers. We're here to help each other. If we're kind of unclear whether it's hard or harmful, if it's hard and good,

[61:36]

we should do it. If it's hard and harmful, no. If it's easy and harmful, no. Once in a while, hard things are unwholesome. Sometimes, once in a while, unwholesome things are hard. Or maybe quite often unwholesome things are hard. Like Shakyamuni. He did a hard thing that was unwholesome. What did he do? He almost starved himself to death and we almost lost our Buddha in the process. Not permanently, but in some later lifetime. He actually did something really hard. He was a super ascetic. It was hard and it was unwholesome. He didn't have a teacher who said, he didn't have a Buddha right there nearby who said, Gautama, this is extreme. You're off center. He hung out with other people who were also doing something real hard. He discovered that his ascetic path

[62:39]

was extreme and painful and wasn't the path. The other side is indulgence or addiction to sense pleasure. He didn't say sense pleasure was an extreme. It's the addiction to it. And he said that's vulgar and also is not conducive to happiness. It's more common for people to indulge, in those days anyway, in addiction to sense pleasure than addiction to self-mortification. But there is some self-mortification in Zen practice. We do have difficulties in Zen practice, but we try not to be addicted to them because that would be unwholesome. I have a question.

[63:56]

What's the example? Being with my family. That could be difficult and it might get unwholesome. In the example I used, it would get unwholesome if you start becoming hateful and violent towards them. You're not practicing wholesomeness there. You're not practicing patience. You're getting violent. It's still difficult, but it's unwholesome. When you go to visit your family, you should always bring a Dharma buddy with you. If you see me getting unwholesome here, just give me a little signal. We're going to have a little conference. I'll be right back. You're getting kind of unwholesome here. Should I leave?

[65:05]

No, no, just stop being unwholesome. Stop talking that way to your mother. You can be doing something that's good and it can be wholesome and difficult and then you slip and it starts to become unwholesome and stays difficult. Then you need help to notice that you're not being helpful. Then it's time to take a break and go do something else that's wholesome, like take a walk around the block. Yes, Marjorie? In some families, you can go in and you can do everything to be patient or whatever, but factors beyond your control, whether it's a woman or a man or whoever, can be abusive enough such that one's patience can manifest or appear to be supporting the idea of not strongly enough advancing

[66:09]

that we need to have a non-abusive atmosphere. So in a situation like that, you can get into how long should I keep manifesting and practicing my own patience when really what I was doing is saying, you know, this isn't so good for me, it's not so good for the children, whatever, we need to get out of this. And I don't know if that's what you were talking about or not, but it's one example, I think, where it may not be so simple. Yes, but in the example you're just using, the practitioner wasn't doing anything unwholesome. You just gave an example of some difficulty. So Lisa's saying, when we're in a difficult situation and it becomes unwholesome, then what? The example you gave was a difficult situation because you said, I think we should leave now.

[67:10]

That wasn't unwholesome. We're not talking about other people's unwholesomeness, we're talking about our own. This practice is not about other people's unwholesomeness, it's about ours. So when we're in a difficult situation, we should be there, we go into this difficult situation because we think we have something wholesome to offer. So there we are in the difficult situation. Somebody's being abusive, so then what we offer is the wholesome thing of saying, I think it's time for us to go away. That wasn't unwholesome. So in that case, that wasn't Lisa's question. She was talking about, but you were giving an example of in a difficult situation, practicing patience and then having something wholesome to offer. The example you gave is some difficulty,

[68:10]

some hardship, and then being patient with it, and then offering something wholesome. And then maybe if you stayed instead of leaving, but staying might have been unwholesome because it's too advanced. That's an example. It would be kind of lazy to stay maybe in some situations, lazy to stay. But it's hard to tell whether you're being lazy in staying in the difficulty unless you know how to practice patience. If you practice patience, you can say it's lazy to stay here. Because if I stay here, it's going to get so much harder, it's going to be too advanced. And then I'm not going to practice patience and then I'm going to get unwholesome. So I'm going to leave before I get unwholesome. I've been wholesome up until now and if it gets any more difficult,

[69:12]

if I get any more tired, I'm going to be unwholesome, so I'm going to leave before that. That's an example of not trying something too advanced and it's also an example of not doing something too long. You've been successful this long, you should stop. Patience does not lead to an improvement in the abusive situation. It doesn't do that. It makes you able to respond to the abuse skillfully. And if you respond skillfully, that may change the abusive situation. But if you're sick and your sickness doesn't necessarily evaporate, but you can be, with your sickness, you can bless everybody in the neighborhood. You can exude patience, joy, compassion,

[70:14]

with your sickness not improving at all, maybe even getting worse. But you're able to be patient with it and do these other practices. If you can't do the other practices, then it would be good to rearrange things so that you can do them. Some situations are too advanced and it's good to learn which ones are. Too advanced for your practice, for your wholesome practice. And then it's good to leave and try something different. You assess your abilities, you say, I think I can do that, but I can't do this. And it's not good for me to try to do what I can't do. I'm recommending, it's been recommended, not to try things that are too hard, not to try things that are too easy, in other words, where you're not challenging yourself. Do the thing where you can still practice patience. And there's plenty of opportunities like that, right? Thank you very much.

[71:17]

So next week, I will continue with the meditation on bodhicitta and start to move into how it moves into wisdom. Wisdom? Wisdom, wisdom, wisdom. Oh. Oh, that. It's not common up here. Thank you.

[71:53]

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