Going forward to the presentation of concentration, or tranquillity meditation, as the four right efforts. [Piano music is playing softly in the background intermittently throughout; becomes subject of discussion later.] Last week I talked about the first of the four right efforts, sometimes called preventing unwholesome states, [that have not arisen], from arising. This is the basic practice of stabilization, which is that when some object appears in awareness, when we are aware of some object,  [we] train ourselves, or we actually are able to not grasp the characteristics [of the] object. Whatever appears in the mind [we] don't grasp it, but in particular we don't grasp its characteristics. We just know, that's it, or we're just aware, that's it. This way of being with objects of awareness, this way of being with objects of cognition, or being with cognitions--[objects] which are known are sometimes called cognitions; the process of knowing is called cognition. So being with cognitions, without grasping their characteristics, that way of being with [...] is the mode of calming down, or the mode of realizing calm. [That] way of being with them is calm. Training ourselves to be that way is training ourselves to realize that way of being with them which is calm. So it isn't exactly that we calm the mind, but we find the way that the mind is calm with what it knows. It may seem like we're calming down as we move away from grasping characteristics and seemingly creating disturbance and agitation. If we give up that grasping, it seems like we calm down, but really another way to put it is we just move into the way of being with things that is calm. Either way you can go with it.
   Another way to put it is that whatever object is presented to awareness, there is a training of attention to just accept what's given and that's it. The things that are cognized are concepts, or images. So whatever way they come to us, we accept them as they're given. No embellishment. [Accepting them] as they're given, period, which includes no embellishment, is just another way to say the mode of training to realize calm. [This] kind of way of being with the process of training the mind, training the attention, to be with the process of knowing, the process of cognition, in this very basic and intimate way [that calms] us, also prevents the arising of unwholesome states. The training of the attention in this way doesn't leave any opening for unwholesome states to arise. The potential for them to arise is still there. Until we've realized insight, this calming practice just forestalls the arising of these unwholesome impulses. As soon as we slip in the mode of stabilizing meditation, and start to grasping things again, or, dash, embellishing things again, those kinds of extra activities, [missing word/s...] the mind to agitation and open the doors to the arising of unwholesome states.
   And last week I got into a little bit about what kinds of states arise, and how to behave when they arise, but this week before moving in that direction, I'd like to say some more about what it would be like if we were able to be successful at the basic stabilization meditation, [for a while], and actually not just train ourselves into this way of being, but actually be that way for a while, [be] mostly that way for a while. Maybe, you know, for a minute or two, or maybe even 30 minutes or 40 minutes sometime, like be pretty much that way for a while. We're not just training the mind to be that way, and having moments of calm and at least temporary relief from intrusion of these elaborative tendencies and unwholesome states which are allowed in that space, [but we] actually enter into a state that's calm, uninterrupted by unwholesomeness, and concentrated, and alert, vigilant, and simple, and in a sense grateful too, because we're saying basically, "I accept whatever's given, really accept what's ever given," so there's a kind of gratitude in that kind of mind. And there's also a kind of generosity, in the sense that you give up all the tendencies to elaborate and argue. You make gifts of your distractions, in a sense. You give up your imagination in a way, you give your imagination away. You don't kill it, you just give it away. So there's a generosity and a gratefulness in this way of being.
   Now, in this state, I'd like to talk about how things might shift from stabilizing meditation to insight meditation. That's like the basic difference, the basic shift. Like just for example I took my hand and I looked at my hand. [...?] the hand, and I try to train my attention, which is looking at the hand--to say I'm looking at the hand maybe is a little bit too much. Let's just say I'm seeing the hand, or knowing the hand, not that I'm going out of my way to look at the hand, but just let's  say I notice my hand, I see my hand. This stabilization practice is not to look at the hand, it's to focus on being with the hand in a certain way. And the way of being with the hand is just to know it, without grasping its characteristics, just to know it without elaborating it, like saying, you know, it's a clean hand, it's a man's hand, whatever. Just the hand. Now, in the next moment, I might think,  "It's a man's hand," so what I might be looking at is the concept of a man's hand. If that's given to me I just accept that as such too, and don't grasp it and don't elaborate it and don't say, you know, "I'm not supposed to be looking at a man's hand." That way of being with it. But I'm not really looking at [it]--I'm seeing the hand, I'm knowing the hand, but my meditation is not to know the hand. My meditation, what I'm focusing on, is a kind of inner thing, an inner thing. What the inner thing is, this inner way of being, which is not grasping, I'm looking at something inside, which is my way of being with what I know. And if I look at [Illa?]'s face or Carlos's face or Marsha's face, I see these different faces, I know these different faces, but what I'm focusing on is treating each face the same. I'm focusing on not elaborating on every face I meet. I see these different images, but I'm not actually contemplating the different images, I'm not contemplating. I'm not contemplating. I'm focusing on one thing, namely that whatever face I meet, I accept it, as it comes to me. And if I can't do that, if I notice that I can't do that, if I know--I mean, if I cognize that I'm not doing that, then that's another image, [...?] which I just say, "Oh, I just elaborated on that face." So that's another concept, another [object] I'm aware of [...?] is to again try to return to not slipping on that one then.
   Let's again say that I'm being quite successful, I'm being very steady on this, and things have gotten very simple for me, so that actually I see that I'm not slipping, and I just see thing after thing after thing after thing after thing, object after object after object, and each one, I just let it be, without grasping it. Okay? And then either intentionally, I maybe talk to my teacher, or I spontaneously have something happen where my attention, in a sense, changes, and shifts from being focused on being with every thing in the same way, basically, to looking at what's out there, shifting from if I'm looking, if I'm knowing a hand, knowing the image of a hand, or knowing the image of a sound, or knowing the image of a feeling, or knowing the image of an opinion, that all of these objects, I shift from this one way of being with them, to actually look at the object, to contemplate the object, to see what it is. So I'm shifting from looking inward, at one thing, one way of being, to in a sense looking outward at what it is that I happen to be aware of at the moment. And looking to see, well, what is it? Or how is it? Here too I don't want to grasp its characteristics, since I will continue in a way, this nongrasping way, but I will maybe start to notice its characteristics, and contemplate its characteristics.
   This looking now at shifting from looking at an inner object, an inner phenomenon, it's not out there that I'm treating everything the same. That's not one of the things you find on the street. This is an inner image. Does that make sense? [Sirens in the background and piano] Whereas we sometimes speak of sirens, piano music, pianos, piano players, as [they're] somewhat external. They're not really external, but in a sense they're out there as objects, rather than in here as an inner thing to focus on. Now one could focus on the sound of sirens, but that's not usually recommended actually.
   When one has trained for a while and entered into a state of calm, and when one then does contemplate what's out there, one starts to see things, which you already know about intellectually, perhaps. Like you may already have heard the teaching that all phenomena that arise also cease. In other words, all phenomena that arise are impermanent. In a sense, most phenomena we know about are phenomena that arise, and therefore are phenomena that are impermanent. But not every phenomenon arises. There's one particular phenomenon that doesn't really arise. [... how] it is the way things are doesn't exactly arise. That's a phenomenon, but it's not impermanent, but all things that arise, cease. And almost everything we experience [is] impermanent, and when we look at things, and with a calm mind we see the impermanence which we've heard about, and which has made sense to us before--so again, we've heard that we're going to die, we know that cups break, and cars break, we know that other people die, or get sick, we know that things change, and we do know. But the way that that impacts on us, the way that that touches us when we're calm is much deeper than the way it touches us when we're jumping around in an agitated state.
For example, the teaching, and the understanding, that things are impermanent, we can understand on different levels, but part of the point of practicing stabilization is so that these teachings can really enter us and transform us physically. [Not just] mentally, but physically, because actually you can be transformed mentally by intellectual understanding prior to being physically transformed in a state of calm. It's hard for us to be physically transformed very much until we let the teachings come to us in a calm state. Then our body gets transformed too. And when you learn things like impermanence and so on, and when you learn things like about that  phenomena that arise and cease are also suffering, when you hear about that and think about that, when you hear about that and you hear about that and you hear about that and finally you say, "Oh, I get it, I get what they mean by everything that changes is painful"--have you heard that before? That's a Buddhist teaching. Things that change, it's painful when things change. [...teaching] And you may hear that at first and say, "Well, I don't get that, because if I'm sick and that changes that doesn't seem like pain." But anyway, you can talk about it for a while, and then finally you get it. You see, "Oh, I get it," and when you get it, you change. You change. Your mind is transformed. Then if you think about it, on your own, and apply it to various situations and you're walking along, you say, "I don't get it, I don't get it," and then suddenly, boom, you get it, you're transformed again, at a deeper level.
   But although you're transformed, you're still afflicted. [...] the fact that impermanent things hurt. When you enter into the calm, you're not just transformed, the affliction is, at least temporarily, alleviated. So then you get to look at things like, in a sense you get to look at things, and see what is usually painful without the pain. So then you're not so afraid to see, to really open up to that teaching, because it's not going to hurt you to see it, so you let it in, deeper. And then when it's deeper, when it gets like registered in your body, then you can juxtapose your transformed being to perhaps the belief, which has not yet been removed, that things last. You may not know it, but you're holding ideas like "Things are permanent." Such views can be held whether you know it or not. If you've been practicing Buddhism you know you're not supposed to think that, so then you think, "Well, I don't think things are permanent." But there are certain things that happen that maybe make you realize that you do think things are permanent. When certain things break, you knew they could break, but when they do break, you realize that you were kind of expecting that they'd break some other time. [laughter] In other words that things would break on schedule, according, you know, after the warranty, or when they got old, and approximately a certain amount of old, and then that's sort of the zone that they probably would break. Rather than that they could break any time, not according to human schedules, but according to many conditions. You theoretically knew it was going to change but when it actually changes, you say, "This is, this..., this hurts, this stinks, this sucks, this is not good, I don't like this," and so on.
   So we hold that view, but you've just had an insight, so that you can now see also that you have this view. Because that's another phenomenon. Here's the view, here's your realization, you've juxtaposed these, and then you start looking, now you've seen the phenomenon's impermanent, but you still have the view that things are permanent. So now you look at that, and you see that that's impermanent. And also you see that that's nonsense. From this calm position you can see how incoherent it is, and you're not afraid to see how incoherent it is, because you're in this temporary kind of fairly fearless condition. In this way these deep misconceptions are uprooted, cleared away. And then, even if you're not in a state of calm, this stuff, these afflictions don't come up, because the root of them is not there anymore.
That's a kind of outline of the process of insight helps to move into stabilization. And sometimes again instead of doing the kind of stabilization I was talking about, where you're basically focused on the same way of being with everything, sometimes we say we pick something like the breath, [to] focus on the breath. As I mentioned before, what you're actually doing is not focusing on the breath as something that's out there, but you're using the breath as--it's an opportunity to practice this unembellishing way of being with phenomena, so rather than look at the whole ocean of phenomena and try to practice accepting every phenomenon just as is given, you choose among the whole range of phenomena the breath to try to practice that on. And if you can, with the breath, treat the breath in this unembellishing, ungrasping way, [at a certain point,] when that becomes consistent, then you can turn from being with the breath in this very basic way of accepting the breath as it's given, you shift from focusing on that way of being, that focused way of being with the breath, to actually now contemplating the breath and seeing how the breath is. Then you shift on the same topic. In one case you're using the breath as an opportunity to develop calm, and when you have developed calm, then you turn, now you start looking at the breath and examining the breath to see how it is. And you find out, which you already knew, but theoretically or intellectually, you knew the breath is impermanent. You know the breath comes and goes, arises and ceases, but now you look at the breath to see how it arises and ceases. Rather than staying with this arises and ceases, you now examine how it's arising and ceasing. The breath can be used as a focus for training the mind in stabilization, and then training the mind in insight. [The difference being], when you're looking at the breath, when you're using the breath in stabilization practice, you're looking at an inner thing. When you're looking at the breath as an insight practice, you're looking at the breath as it is, as it appears to you. See the difference?
   Student A [Sarah]: [unhearable question]
   [How] do the emotions feed into the insight?
   Student  A [Sarah]: What role do--where do--?
   The emotions will be eventually topics that you will contemplate as insight topics. Eventually all phenomena will be insight topics. But it's fairly likely that all phenomena will not be stabilization topics. Although, while practicing stabilization, it's possible that you'd see a very wide range of phenomena like emotions, in stabilization practice when an emotion arises you just let it be the emotion, with no embellishment, with no conceptual elaboration, whereas later when you're practicing insight, when the emotion appears, you're now going to look at the emotion, contemplate the emotion, to see how it actually is. So anything, and all things, will eventually, in the whole course of Buddhist practice, all phenomena, all emotions, of all beings, will be topics of insight, but you won't necessarily use each one of them to develop concentration. But when they're arising as topics for insight, you still want to be practicing concentration, so part of you-- [laughs]. There's this phenomenon in America called Harry Potter, you've heard of it? [laughter] So one of the neat characters in the latest Harry Potter novel is called Mad-Eye Moody, and he's a wizard who has two eyes, and one of his eyes is mad. In other words, it swivels all the way around, so he can look through the back of his head. So sometimes one eye's looking out like a normal eye, [and] the other eye's like white, because he's looking back through the back of his head. This mad eye can look all over the place and it can like see through various things. It's a magical eye. [So in a sense,] Sometimes they say if you look at a Buddhist yogi you'll see one eye seems to be looking down and the other eye's looking up. Sometimes they say, one way to say that is, one eye is stabilizing and the other is insighting, looking into. Or one eye is wisdom, and one eye is compassion. But anyway, in this case, if you were looking at an emotion, one of your eyes would stay on the topic of treating everything the same, and the other eye would see how things look when you treat everything the same. So when you treat everything the same, you're undefiled by the differences among things. You don't let the difference in the different faces throw you around. You treat this face and that face and that face the same. That stabilizes you. And then once you're stabilized, then you look at this face and see what this face is. And then you see actually, this face is impermanent, this face is suffering, this face is selfless, this face is...and so on. You see the way the face is.
   Student A [Sarah]: So is part of seeing, seeing what your own emotional response is?
   If you're looking at an emotion, you would be looking at your emotion, but you could also be looking at a face and see what your emotional response is. That could be part of your insight, to notice that. You would notice that whatever you're looking at has something to do with who's looking at it. That would be part of your insight practice. So part of insight is to see that things are impermanent, another part of insight is to see that everything depends on your mind. These are different levels and aspects of insight that would be available to you once you're calm, and once part of your attention is trained steadily on not discriminating among things. So as I mentioned before, in stabilization you train yourself to, in a sense, not move between objects, so you look at this face and that face, but you don't really move from this face to that face, because basically you're riveted to not embellishing on either face. So although you see different faces, you're not really going from this face to that face because you like this one better than that one. You're just seeing this face and that face. So you don't really move among the different faces. So in that sense, you're not really discriminating, even though you see the different faces. But when you actually are stable and not moving among the faces and you calm down, then when you look at the faces you realize that there's no difference. So you understand that there isn't a difference based on training yourself as though there weren't a difference. But while you still think there is a difference, you start training yourself to act like there isn't.
   Student B: Reb, are you--?
   [Does that make sense, Sarah? ... Am I what?]
   Student B: Are you saying that all of insight is knowing what you're thinking? Knowing what your emotions are--?
   Knowing is the basic thing that's going on all the time. Okay? So knowing what you're thinking, knowing what you're feeling, that's basic cognition. [You've] already got that happening. That's not necessarily insight.
   Student B: Isn't that--I'm aware of what I'm thinking right now, and what I'm feeling. I always felt that was insight.
   No. Not necessarily. Like for example if you know that you're thinking--well, do you want to give an example of something you're thinking?
   Student B: I don't know what I'm thinking [interruptions on tape]
   You're thinking that you want to be here. Okay. That's fine.
   Student B: But if I'm not aware of that, I don't have the insight about it. I could just be thinking it and not aware of it.
   Well, there's still awareness of it. For example, if I said you were thinking something different, you might be able to say, "No I wasn't," and you'd be sure you weren't, because you were aware that you were thinking something else. At the very time you might not have been very present with that, because again we can be quite distracted, but still if I tell you that a second ago you were thinking of a southern part of Warsaw, you can say, "No I wasn't." And if I say you were thinking--if I had been talking to you, I might even have been able to tell you some possibilities of what you thought, and you might be able to say, "Oh yeah, I guess I was," even though you might not have been very aware that you were thinking of it. Like, you know, I could see you look at somebody across the room, and then later I could say to you, "A second ago you were thinking that that lady was really cute." You could say, "You know, that's true, how did you know that?" I could say, "Well, you know..."  [laughter], "I saw you look at her, and you did certain things that made me feel like you were kind of interested in her, and then you went over to her and you said certain things. So that's what made me think that you thought those thoughts. And you during the whole process, you also looked like you didn't know anything about what was going on. Otherwise you wouldn't have been able to walk over there and talk like that. [laughter]
   Student B: Something like when you don't remember your [dream]?
   So anyway it is possible to be more or less aware of what you're aware of, but you're still aware of it, whether you're present with it or not.
   Student B: What do you call that? If I'm aware of what I'm thinking--
[...?] awareness, but awareness can be developed and can be deepened. So that you can--you don't get from this side of the room to the other side of the room without awareness. You're aware of the floor between here and the door and you use that awareness to get over there. But you can be--this can be like a major journey, or this can be something you're just barely aware of, and if I ask you questions about it later, how it was, some people can write a novel about from here to the door, and other people can say, well, I don't really remember much happening. But they got there just like the person who can write the novel got there. But the person who can write the novel was [like, they were like] in touch with the virtually infinite experiences between here and the door, if you were walking. You are capable of becoming much more vividly and intensely aware of moment by moment experience. But still you are having moment by moment experiences going over there, because you know, like, if there was one piece of glass on the floor there on the way over there you would notice it and your body would--you would stop and take the piece of glass out. And then you would continue on your trip maybe, but some people, even though the piece of glass they'd stop and pull it out, still they would be like, "Here, piece of glass, and the door." That would be all it was to them. Other people that would be like a major thing. And I think basically the meditation makes life kind of like richer. So the more you meditate, the more, as you move from here to the door, it becomes an event, which is great. As you know, we have sesshins, where people sit, and the days get very long. They're very long, lots of stuff happens. Whereas sometimes at work or something, it's like, you get to work, coffee break, and then it's lunch. It's like, sometimes, "What happened? Where was I?" And you did your job, and you filled out the forms, and answered the telephone, but you were never there the whole time. And yet you obviously were there because you were able to-- And I know this guy who was an alcoholic and just before he joined Alcoholics Anonymous he conducted a major sales presentation. He worked for an advertising firm in New York. He did a major presentation of a big program to this big client, and everything went fine, and he absolutely had no recollection of the whole day, at all, and that's when he realized that he was--it was a blackout, right? So it's possible to have part of your mind tuned off, and another part of your mind functioning, and not be aware of it at all. Or have that same part turned on. It's possible. But insight is actually seeing the thinking you're doing as it really is, to see how it really is. It's not just thinking, noy just being aware, "Oh, I'm thinking that I'm smart," or "I'm stupid," or "I'm thinking that I'd like to go someplace [and I'm kind of?] thinking that I'd like to be here." Those are the concepts you're aware of.
   And in order to have insight you have to be aware of what concepts you're knowing, and then not only just know that, but then train yourself at how to be with what you know. So you have to not only be aware of what you're knowing, but train yourself at how you respond to that. And if you can train yourself in this certain way, you not only will know things as usual, and be there, but you'll be calm with them. Then, knowing them, being with them this way, and being calm through this kind of training, then you can look at these things and see things that you'd been knowing, but see them in a fundamentally, oftentimes reversed way from the way you usually think of them. So you see things that you used to think were permanent as impermanent. You see things that you thought had a self as not having a self. You see things that you'd think were fun as suffering. And so on. You revolutionize the way you see things and you achieve a permanent--well not permanent, but an indestructible calm and peace and freedom, because you're in accord with the way things are. So nothing can--there's no you and it to be paralyzing and enchaining each other. So that's insight. Insight is healing all your--heals your problems. It's not just training in mindfulness. It's mindfulness taken to the point of where it penetrates. That's insight.
There has to be some stabilization for insight to sink into you and change you. So there's three levels of insight. First level is the level that comes like in the class. I see sometimes faces that are kind of glazed over and then suddenly, boom! [laughter], I see that they understand. They smile. Something happens, and you can see, the person changed. They understood. And then the next level is you think about this on your own, and you didn't understand something, and you think about it, and suddenly on your own, just reflecting on your own, you understand. That's another transformation. And then the third transformation has to happen in a state of stabilization. All three of these levels are really meditation, but the third level of meditation is the deepest because you're actually including your body in it, it's not just intellectual. And that's what we're working on in this class. But the instructions about how to do these practices are coming to you in these two levels before you put them into the third level. So I'm giving you instructions about this deepest level of meditation, and that's also going through a state of having insights. So you're getting instructions about how to do a practice of meditation, and you're also having insights about the instruction of how to do the practice of insight. [Yes?]
   Student C: Are you--
   Actually, I was talking to her but maybe she'll let you go first. I was actually calling on her, but you thought I was calling on you, so she's letting you go I think.]
   Student C: Are you saying when somebody gets to a high level, when they achieve a high level of insight, that is not a phenomenon that comes and goes like everything else, but is more permanent with that person? It's not a rising and going away kind of phenomenon?
   Let's see. It's like, it's more like--[laughs] sorry, it's more like a sex change operation. [laughter]
   Student C: It's there for life.
   Well, you can all reverse these things too, right? But it's basically, it's a transformation of the kind of person you are. So insights... Calming practices are very temporary. They only last-- As soon as you stop practicing the calm, some of the calm stuff, sometimes the moment you stop, sometimes it just evaporates. Sometimes it lasts for days. Usually a maximum of a week the calm will last. If you get really calm, it can sometimes last for a week when you don't even try it anymore. But without continuing to practice it, it usually goes away pretty fast. But insight, once you see certain things, that's sort of the way it is for the rest of your life. I mean, once you understand, for example, [laughing] how stupid you are, you never forget. [laughter] You just realize, "Oh, that was stupid. I mean that was like I did a stupid thing." And you never forget for the rest of your life that you did a stupid thing. You just get it, and you're never going to forget it. Unless you have a deeper insight, realizing that it was more stupid than you realized. Or sometimes realizing that stupid is really helpful, or maybe realizing, at first you think it's stupid and you think it's stupid but bad, and later you realize stupid but good.
   But anyway, insights can get deeper and deeper, but basically when you have an insight you're changed. When you learn, when you understand, two plus two is four, you're changed. That's an insight. In a sense. And you never really like, you almost never forget it. Because it's not really your--I mean if it's a memorization thing, okay, two plus two is four, but when you understand two plus two is four, it's probably pretty much for life. And a lot of things, mathematical things like that, once you get it, you're a different person, and that's sometimes why people like mathematics, is because they like this feeling of becoming a different person and then like it's a permanent change in their psyche, and it's nice to feel your psyche actually going through changes and be different. It's neat. So insight does make these in a sense permanent restructurings, or fundamental restructurings, and some of them are irreversible. To call them permanent maybe is too heavy, but they're irreversible given your body. As long as your body's there. When you die they may not go beyond your life, some of these insights, but actually they even go beyond your life sometimes, according to Buddhist teaching. I don't want to call them permanent, but they're sometimes irreversible.
   That's why we want insight. Because then you don't have to like keep reminding yourself, "Don't kill people." [laughter] "Do not kill her. Don't kill her." Or like, "She seems to be a monster but I know that's not really true, it's just my perception. She's not really like that bad, you know." But when you have insight you don't have to remind yourself, you can just see, that this is a precious thing before you, something to be taken care of and appreciated. You don't have to train yourself at that anymore. You get it. And you never forget.
   Student C: But as you go on, do you keep having insights?
   Insights get deeper and deeper and deeper.
   Student C: In other words, you don't stop at a certain point, necessarily, because you have new experiences?
   In Buddhist practice, insight isn't just one insight for one problem. It is insight--the entire universe is the topic. You want to eventually be able to see everything as it is. And certain kinds of insights do not apply to all kinds of insights. There is a final insight, in a sense, that when you have a certain kind of insight you understand everything. So that's sort of like, there is that sort of  last insight. Before that we more like have insights about this and this and this. We apply the one insight to the next insight. We apply this insight here to the next phenomenon and then we have another insight and another insight. But there comes a time when you have an insight where you know everything. That's sort of the last one. That's called omniscience, or Buddhahood. So that kind of is the end of the course. [laughter]
   Student C: That would take quite a few lifetimes.
   Yeah, it's a big project. [laughter. Tape turned over. Resumes with Reb laughing, student in mid-question.]
   Student D: ...just look at faces, right? and I just look at faces and I'm just looking at faces, and then with that will come [...] filled with love that will come up to my heart,. Okay, so that happens a lot, and sometimes that's just what happens, but then sometimes that feeling, that sensation feeling, gets too big or something. So I assume that has to do with not being calm enough.
   Yes, probably. Probably you're doing a little embellishing of that heart thing that's happening. But sometimes in the process of meditation, of stabilizing, of just looking at faces without embellishing, you start... The funny thing about concentration is that as you focus you also open up. Because you're not putting a lot of energy into defending yourself. So you actually become open in concentration practice. And then in that openness sometimes you let things happen, and then these new things that happen, even though they're sometimes quite wholesome, you can't help but then embellishing on them, and then they become too much.
   Student D: So is there anything you can [...] opens up and I think actually of these things that were wholesome that can [...]
   After Lisa's question I just wanted to say that tonight what I was intending to do was to open up the insight thing for you a little bit, but then take another step onto what I brought up last week about these hindrances. I think that's part of what's happening there.
   Student D: [Two plus two?] You know Simone Weil? [...] That seems a lot like what you were saying about two plus two.
   Right. Memorizing it doesn't work. You have to understand this phenomenon of addition. One of the things I like about mathematics is I can feel my... I can feel it in my head. Whereas, some other kinds of study, which I like very much, like psychology, in a certain way, it's more natural for me, but when I do mathematics some part of my brain that's not usually functioning in daily life starts to kick in and it's fun. Lisa?
   Student E [Lisa]: I was wondering, [...] between when you start stabilization practice and you get to the point where you can do the insight practice?
   How long does it take? It varies from person to person. Again, person to person it varies, and it depends on how much effort you're putting into it, how many hours a day you're working on it, it depends on the situation you're in. So if you're in a situation where, if you're a beginner, and you're in a situation where everybody around you is working on that same practice and people aren't expecting you to take on the kinds of phenomena that are really hard to resist embellishing--like if people are insulting you all day it's hard to sit there and not embellish on the insulting, or complimenting you. But if people just come up to you and go like this [gassho], you still can embellish on that, but it's easier not to, than if they're coming up to you and just saying various things, like "You're really beautiful." You feel like, "Oh I'm supposed to say something about that, right?" Or, "You're really a jerk. I should defend myself." But when people just bow to you, you still may want to embellish on that, but it's not that difficult not to. So if you're in a conducive situation, you can sometimes, in a week or less, sometimes in a few months or less. Most people if they put an effort into it, like in one of our practice periods, they usually get to a point where they can start doing insight work during two or three months. And some people in a week. Beginners, sometimes in a week. And people who've been practicing longer, sometimes are loafing in their daily life, but when they go into an intensive, sometimes in a day or so they're back into it where they're calm enough to start doing insight. And as I mentioned earlier, the calm, the level of calm where you're ready to do insight, is significant, but still there's much much deeper calm that can happen beyond that. But some of those really deep calms don't work very well with insight because you can't examine at the same time as being really deeply calm.
   So for Buddhist insight, actually, we don't necessarily want to get super calm. Now once you have a lot of insight, then you can handle deeper calm. To arrive at the insight you need to do some kind of examination and contemplation. But once you have the insight, then you can take that insight with you into a very deep state of calm. And you're not really doing the insight anymore. You're actually taking the results of the insight, you're taking your transformed being and you're taking it down very deep, into your body now, through the deeper concentrations. So at the early phases of insight work, deep concentration interferes. Early levels of insight, you need some concentration for deep insight, but really deep concentration interferes. You can't continue the investigation when you're super calm. But when the insight's established, and you're not really doing the analysis anymore, but you just have the understanding, then you take the understanding and you can put that together then with really deep calm, and then it penetrates your body even more. Does that make sense? So that's part of the reason why you kind of need some help to know when to do what.
   If it's okay, I'd like to go back now and talk about these hindrances again. Ellen?
   Student F [Ellen]: insight meditation [...] unless you have access to some sort of [...] is that right? I can see calming as a practice that you do. But insight it seems like you would have to have some sort of teacher.
   In the total program of insight you need to study all teachings, but you can have insights without any teaching. You can just look at some phenomenon and see that it's impermanent. And even if you haven't even heard about impermanence, you could see that it was impermanent. However, if you've heard the teaching of impermanence and you understand it intellectually, understood what they mean by impermanence in Buddhism... Impermanence, for example, does not mean annihilation, it just means things change. It doesn't mean that they are destroyed, and it doesn't mean that they go on. So you listen to those teachings. So in fact to have insight into permanence, for most people, hearing the teachings about impermanence before you actually witness it yourself in meditation, does usually help. But some people are able, for example, the Buddha, was able, to see impermanence of phenomena without hearing the teaching of impermanence. But for most of us it helps to hear the teaching of impermanence, so that when we see impermanence we don't think it's annihilation. We get instructions in the Middle Way, about what we mean by impermanence in Buddhism. You hear that and you understand intellectually and then reflect on it, and then you have these understandings. Then if you witness it in a state of calm, you are probably going to be better off. Okay?
   So if you're able to make this kind of effort of training your attention into working with what happens without grasping it, and so on, and then these unwholesome states are temporarily blocked, they don't come up, you're clear. But if you slip, sometimes just in a moment, just a little bit of embellishment, sometimes opens a crack, and some stuff slips in. For example, sensual desire can arise, and desire can be desire for more of this calm. "This is really a good calm"--this is a very common one for meditators. "This is an excellent state." [laughter] You know? That kind of embellishment then opens the door to like lusting for more of this. Kind of wallowing in it, you know? So like tonight, I was doing that. There was this music, and I actually liked that. Is that Gershwin that they were playing, at the beginning? Did you hear the Gershwin? That's a conceptual elaboration. "Gershwin." I liked that song. So I was trying to see if I could listen to it, just like note by note, without getting into like ...  [laughter] swaying with it, just note by note. I noticed I was swaying with it a little bit, but then I got just, boomp, boomp, boomp, and then I wasn't afflicted by the music anymore.
   Student G: Is part of learning about not grasping, noticing [...]
   Definitely.
   Student G: ... early stages, to just watch the show of all [the different things you're grasping?]
   Yes.
   Student G: ... not do that?
   Trying not to do it is another kind of grasping.
   Student G: What are you doing?
   What are you doing? Just letting things be, basically. And if you're grasping you let yourself be grasping. That's basically what it is. And accepting what's given. And sometimes what's given is you're given the awareness that you're grasping. And you don't punish yourself for that. You just say, kind of like, "This is happening." You don't say, "Whoopee!" or whatever. Just, "Here's grasping." That's enough. But anyway if you do more than that, you open the door to, for example, desire. It could be sensual desire, in the sense of wanting more of this kind of nice experience. Or it could be sexual desire or whatever. And the other one is you could maybe elaborate on some other state which wasn't so good and get into ill will towards this state or ill will towards somebody you think is to blame for the state. And the other ones are sloth and torpor. And another one is excitation, is worry. And the last one is doubt. These are the five hindrances.
Now, in a way, I guess part of me likes to just say, well the way to deal with these things is to do the practice which you just slipped on. If you notice these hindrances, just don't grasp the characteristic of the hindrance, just don't get involved with the hindrance, just don't embellish on the hindrance, just accept it as it's given, and just, that's it, flat out, and then you're back on track again, and the hindrance is disarmed.
But the thing about hindrances is that, the reason why they're such a problem, is that [it's] more difficult to do that with them than it is with most other things. So like blue or black or, you know, even just ordinary music, or various physical sensations and thoughts, when they're first given to you a lot of times they're not that difficult to just let them be. But when these hindrances arise it's kind of like you feel like you have to do something about it. That's why actually they're pushed away when you deal with things very simply, and that's why when they come back, they're difficult to let go of. They're stickier then. They're kind of retribution, in a sense, for your messing around. So they're kind of hard. But in a way you could theoretically just practice with them the way you were supposed to be practicing in the first place. It's actually my favorite way. Because really you're just going back to your meditation practice, rather than doing some big recovery program. Right? But sometimes you feel like this is too big a deal, I can't just go back, I've got to have a recovery program. But one of the antidotes that's on the list is just simply contemplate it, just face it. If you just face it, it usually drops away. That is one of the ways that the Buddha recommended, is just face it. Just confront it in the same way that you should have been doing anyway before that. But you slipped. So just contemplate it and these things will drop away. Not necessarily instantly, but sometimes instantly. If you can flat out just face the mistake. That sometimes is enough, and it just drops.
   There are five types of ways of dealing with this. That was one. Another way is to have a specific thing for each type, which is basically the opposite of each type. That's another way. So the first one is just direct contemplation in the same mode as stabilization. The next one would be the opposite method, which is for sensual desire, you do something to basically address the sensual desire. One way, which doesn't seem to work very well for American people, especially women, is to imagine repulsiveness of whatever the thing is. I find that just looking at something very serious is a good way to snap out of sensual desire. These kinds of sensual desires, these aren't like really high quality, aesthetic involvements. They're just kind of like wallowing in pleasure. It isn't like a deep artistic involvement. It's just laziness. That's what we're talking about here. And it's not really in accord with what you sat down to do. It's okay, but it's just kind of a distraction. If you really wanted to have some fun, this is not the place to do it. Just you know, kind of get serious, and there's various things that can make you feel serious. Like I mentioned last week, when I used to have these kinds of experience I used to think of my teacher when he died. I'd just remember what he looked like lying on the ground, lying on his floor, dead. And that would usually snap me out of it. And if that didn't I would sometimes--it gets a little gorier. And in traditional books they have kind of gory pictures to think of, did I mention those? So again, it's tricky, you don't want to use these unless the gentler ones don't work. But if just thinking of somebody that you care about sick or in suffering, or something that you've seen, some important serious moment in your life, when your mother died or your father died or your teacher died, if something like that doesn't snap you out of it, then you can think of gorier things.
   The example that they often use in the books is sheep sometimes roll over on their back to work the gas out of their back. They get gas from eating grass. Gas accumulates on their back and it's painful for them. So they roll on their back to work the gas out, and then the gas comes around, you know, they pass the gas. But sometimes it makes these little gas pockets on their back, they're uncomfortable, so they roll on their back. Okay, that make sense? But sometimes they get stuck on their back, and they can't get up. Like they roll against a tree or something, so they get stuck on their back. [Then] crows come and attack them, in this vulnerable position. So when people used to like see this--when they were in a rural setting they would see this--and it's a very tragic thing to see this, because the crows kill them, but they just kill them for fun. It's not like killing like [...?], they just go and peck their eyes. And then so these sheep are lying there with their eyes pecked out. It's a very very terrible suffering. They don't get eaten by the crows, even. So then they just lie there. It's a terrible death. You think about that, the suffering of beings, then you don't just fool around. Usually that works pretty well. You do something to snap yourself out of it. Like in the hospital sometimes, when nurses are taking care of men, sometimes they act really weird, and nurses have ways of snapping them out of it. Just little things you do, like, "This is a hospital, sonny. This is not a fantasyland and porno movie." They have little techniques that they do that just sort of wake the guy up, and it's, "Oh, I understand where I am now. [laughter] I had a big accident and I'm paralyzed, and I got it."
   So anyway, ill will, the main thing you do for ill will is you practice loving kindness, which is also a concentration practice. And you work at it, toward yourself, and you make an effort, until you get yourself out of the ill will.
   And as I mentioned, doubt--doubt is, you're wondering, "Is this practice really worth my effort? Is this really good to be doing this?" When you're doing it you don't have a question about it. You appreciate it when you're doing it. When you don't do it, then you get in trouble for not doing it, and one of the ways you get in trouble for not doing it is you wonder if it's good to do it. So the main way you deal with that is to ask questions of an instructor in the thing that you're not doing, for the instructor to again tell you that the thing you're doubting is not really relevant because you're in a state of not doing it. Try it again. Or if you're having any questions about thinking it's not good for your health or something, tell a teacher, and say, "I think this is this, this, and this." Sometimes they might agree with you and you're doing it wrong. So you try it again. And there're texts which show the benefits which you can read. So you reason with yourself, to again create in your mind an area of moral clarity, where you feel, "This is an area where I'm clear, this is a really good way to apply my energy." Then you can go back to work.
   And then the other one--this is the direct antidotes, opposites--is for agitation and worry, you follow your breathing again. Even if you're not doing breath, you might temporarily go to following your breath, because following your breath goes very nicely with worry. Take your mind away from what you're worrying about and apply it to the breath. The concepts that you're worrying about, just move them away from those concepts and put them on the breath. ["them" in the previous sentence: should it be "the mind" or "it"?] Worry will go away. Worry is an unwholesome dharma, an unwholesome thing. It doesn't help you. To be concerned for people, to care about people, isn't the same as worrying. And also for agitation, focusing on the breath calms you down. For dullness, there's a bunch of things, but basically again it's reconsider your aspiration. It's also okay to take a nap. It's also okay to take a walk. Splash cold water on your face. But basically it's about aspiration. You have to somehow bring some kind of lightness and enthusiasm, you have to bring up enthusiasm again. Resting is part of the way to bring up the enthusiasm sometimes. Sometimes you need rest. Rest is part of enthusiasm. So those are five direct opposites of those five. And then there are three more. Nancy?
   Student H [Nancy]: Do you consider illness a hindrance? Like if you're sick you're being more, can't focus...?
   No, not necessarily. If you're coughing and having trouble breathing and then you're not accepting what's given and then you get off into ill will like, getting worried about your sickness, getting angry about your sickness, doubting the practice while you're sick, things like that, those are the problems. The sickness itself isn't an unwholesome state. There are practices for people that are sick. There's a practice for sick people. So the sickness isn't the hindrance. The sickness is the condition that the practice is addressed to cure. Now the practice doesn't exactly cure these unwholesome states, it just eliminates them. They're distractions to the meditation which addresses the fundamental illness. But sometimes when you're sick, a good thing to do is to rest, because that's actually a good way to take care of your body at this point. There are stories of people who don't rest when they're sick, and it sometimes works out very nicely, and there are stories of people who don't rest when they're sick, and then it works out very badly, because by not resting when it's actually appropriate to rest, they give rise to unwholesome states. Because what's given is a situation which, if they would look at it and accept it as it is, they would be able to see that they should rest. So illness itself isn't one of these five. But one of these five could develop if you don't accept this illness with the spirit of no embellishment, just sick this way, sick this way, sick this way, sick this way. And you can be calm and sick. Or you can be really worried and sick. And you can be really angry and sick. But you can also be very calm and very loving to yourself when you're sick. And then in sickness you can sometimes have a great insight. Then you've accomplished the point of the meditation, in the middle of an illness. It's true that it's hard sometimes to practice when you're ill because sometimes you don't have enough energy to stay awake to pay attention to the phenomenon and to notice whether you're working with it in this training method. And if you don't have enough energy to pay attention, that's the hindrance, not the illness, it's the lack of energy. It's possible you could slip into sloth when you're sick. But some people are sick and not at all slothful, quite energetic and alert in their sickness. And of course there are other people who are very healthy--basically they're just like bursting with health--and quite slothful. This is like American teenagers.
   Then the three other ones are... One of the other ones could be called to relate to these phenomena with a sense of self-respect and decorum. [...]any of those five. So if let's say you've made arrangements now to practice meditation, but actually you're goofing off one way or another, you're not doing your work, and you're afflicted by these hindrances, so, you just kind of like, out of self-respect and decorum... Decorum means your friends and family have supported you to do this; people are feeding you to do this; you've made special arrangements to do this; it's pretty reasonable that you would do it now. And people would be disappointed in you if you like set up this special situation and don't do it, plus out of self-respect you know you can do better than what you're doing. You know you can go back to the meditation, and you know that you don't have to be wallowing in these unwholesome states. These are kind of like neutral terms, self-respect and decorum. The ones that literally they often say are shame and moral dread. Self-respect is that you're kind of hard on yourself and you're not doing what you can do, when you're not living up to your own ability. "This is beneath me, I can do better than this." That's a kind of shame. "I don't have to do sloppy work here." And then moral dread is actually fear that other people will be disappointed in you and you're letting people down. I mean they set up this meditation class for you and then you don't work at it, and your family's doing child care for you so you can be here, and you're not using the opportunity, it's kind of like, if they knew about this they'd be disappointed in you, and this kind of thing.
   There are a lot of Zen stories [...?] of Zen teachers, they're looking at the monks, these guys are in these monasteries, and they're like sleeping, right? The teacher says, "You know, people are out there in the hot sun, growing rice to feed you, and they're giving you this rice so that you will understand yourself and become a beneficial person in this world, and here you are eating their rice and sleeping. Really, you should be ashamed of yourselves." And then sometimes they even get more harsh than that. But there's something to it. It's like--you shouldn't need to be reminded that you're being supported to meditate. Being able to meditate is a great opportunity. So, you know, say thank you and use it. Don't waste a lot of time. And expect that of yourself. And also know that other people would expect that of you, they're trusting you. So that's another antidote.
   So I did self-respect and so on, direct opposition, facing it. [Student I: You didn't do direct opposition--] In other words, just basically go back to your meditation which you slipped at, your normal stabilizing meditation. Another one, is basically, which is also related to the normal one, well in some sense, don't feed it, just look away. Don't get involved with it. Which is like the other one. Kind of just look away. And the other one, which I don't like to mention, is direct suppression. Just say stop it. Those are five traditional ways of dealing with it. And is there some way to say stop it with kindness, to seriously say to yourself, "Just stop this anger trip, just stop hating, just stop this ill will, just stop worrying, just stop doubting, just stop it." There's some way to say that in a kind way so that it doesn't turn into another kind of example of ill will. So you don't want to say this with ill will. [You want to] say it in a confident, helpful, clear way to remind yourself of what you're doing, to try to find a way to do that.
   So these are all ways that should be done with a spirit of loving kindness, so that you can do it repeatedly without feeling like you're harming yourself by this training. Because this is basically a calming practice. This is to help you calm down and feel relaxed and at peace. So this shouldn't get heavy, and so you've just got to be careful of that. So those are those five hindrances and antidotes.
   The other two right efforts are, basically, once you're able to do the first practice, and these unwholesome states aren't arising--the first practice also is very wholesome in itself, because it's developing calm. So if you have already been able to do the first practice, one of the other right efforts is to continue it. And if you haven't done the first practice, the other one is start doing it. So it's start doing these wholesome practices which you haven't started, and continue doing the ones you have been doing. So those are the four right efforts of concentration practice. So next week I will talk a little bit more about calming, but I'll also do a little bit more about insight.