Someone said that he would appreciate if I would talk about heart. That he hadn't heard me talk about heart in the teaching this week. She said that it would help her be more gentle or tender in her practice if we meditated on the heart. I think that's a reasonable request. Certainly it's true that a warm heart is really the basis of this practice.

[01:06]

And how to protect and nurture that warm heart so that I can grow and blossom into infinite compassion is really the essential issue. It's really the reason Buddha appeared in the world, or Buddhas appear in the world. So although I may not have specifically said so, the first practice of a bodhisattva is giving. And giving is the beginning or the opening of the heart. Using that practice as a way to open out and connect to some other being.

[02:22]

by reveling and joyfully contemplating how sweet it is to give something to somebody else, how delightful it is to give them something, especially something that would be useful and delightful to them, and also something that you delight in, and something that helps you overcome your stinginess or tightness around your heart. Something you can use to soften and relax the sense of separation. So this is the first practice of a bodhisattva, the heart opening practice of giving. And Zen practice sometimes is pretty bitter in the sense that we go into some bitter zones down there in the dragon cave.

[03:31]

Sometimes our teacher even has a gall bladder attack and is spitting up bitter juices. So it's hard to stay there with our teacher or our friend when they're really sick. and it's hard to stay with ourself, stay in our seat when we're really sick, so the warm heart is, it sustains us in what sometimes is our entry into our visitation of various realms of misery. We vow to enter them all and bring blessings Without a warm heart it would just be pretty much unadulterated bitterness and putridness and pain. But with a warm heart somehow we can breathe into there, we can be tender.

[04:42]

And also once we enter there and open to that suffering, that makes us further tender and warms our heart more. Oh I see there's a song here written down on a piece of yellow paper. Maybe you know it. It goes... She may be weary. Women do get weary wearing that same shabby dress. And when she's weary try a little tenderness. It's not just sentimental.

[05:53]

She has her griefs and woes, her griefs and cares, but a word that's soft and gentle makes it easier to bear. You know she's waiting, just anticipating things she may never possess. But when she's waiting, try a little tenderness. You won't regret it. She'll never forget it. Love is her only happiness. So when she's waiting, weary, tired, suffering, miserable, whatever, try a little tenderness.

[06:54]

The heart is, to a great extent, is an involuntary, is a muscle, isn't it? Is it a muscle? the muscle and a pump also. It's simultaneously a pump and muscle all at once. But for most of it, it's a fairly involuntary organ, so we can't voluntarily open it, but sometimes it does open. And when it's open, it's very useful in practicing Zen meditation. It opens us to be able to stand what's required. Zen meditation works with something. And yet, the neat thing about Zen, the thing I like about it, is that Zen isn't really anything at all.

[08:06]

Zen isn't mind, isn't body, isn't thought. It studies the mind, it studies the body, it studies the voice, it studies the three kinds of karma, body, speech and mind, but Zen isn't really anything. totally cool. Zen's not intense. Zen's not laid back. It's just a door to liberation. And that's not anything at all, really.

[09:09]

there's nothing that that liberation depends on, and that nothing that it depends on is Zen. Still, when I work with myself and study with other people, I do need something to chew. So I do need to, you know, I need a sentient being to chew on. So the contemplation of the being of infinite compassion is nothing at all, but it does contemplate suffering beings. So I do need to work with actual concrete down to earth, basically garden variety, but also exotics are okay too, forms of suffering, and not in general. but specific and not in the past or future, but now.

[10:17]

I need that. If you don't have any suffering to bring me, well, then you don't need to talk to me. Enjoy your life. Otherwise, what's the problem? Let's deal with it. Let's chew it up. Don't want to throw your jaw out or break your teeth. Don't take too big bites, you'll choke. But mindfully, as a matter of fact, with pure mindfulness, let's eat this world of suffering up and convert it into freedom. So yesterday I mentioned that story about Zhaozhou, remember?

[11:27]

Several stories, but one I said was a monk came to him and said, in the eon of emptiness, is there still someone cultivating practice? And Jojo said, what do you call the aeon of emptiness? And the monk said, this is where not a single thing exists. This is where not a single thing exists. But I think you could also say, this is when not a single thing exists.

[12:32]

It's the time and place when not a single thing exists, including not time or space. The monk says, in the eon of emptiness, Is there still someone practicing?" Jaojo says, "'What do you mean? What do you call that?' He said, "'This is where not a single thing exists.'" Jaojo says, "'Only this can be called real practice.'" Now when people hear that their little minds go to work, or their big minds go to work, or their little minds go to work, actually their big minds relax and say, I'm glad somebody said that.

[13:55]

But the little mind says, what does that mean? We've got to get rid of all this stuff? So there won't be anything existing? I don't think so. I don't think that's what it means. That would definitely be something. Try to get rid of these people, see what happens. Even try to move one of them a little bit. That won't be nothing. That will be something. Not one thing exists means don't waste any time. It means leave everything alone. It means don't make Zen practice into anything. Well then what is it? This is where there isn't a single thing that exists.

[14:58]

That's what it is. This is true practice. And it's based on a warm heart. that is open to basic ordinary human misery and all other kinds of misery too. Zen practice is not essentially a matter of controlling your mind. or keeping your body immobile. So it's not really true to say that it's necessary or important to sit facing a wall.

[16:03]

Zen is not essentially controlling your thoughts or sitting immobile. Therefore, it's not really true to say that it's important to sit and face the wall or to control your thoughts. However, it's perfectly all right if you have the right attitude to sit and face the wall and control your thoughts, if that's what you want to do. It's... if you have the right attitude, sitting and facing the wall is just as good as taking a walk. But if you don't have the right attitude, sitting and facing the wall can be a problem.

[17:35]

If you make sitting and facing the wall into something that you attach to because it's Buddhist practice, then it turns into demon practice. If you encounter demon practice and have no aversion to it, it becomes Buddhist practice. If you make the practice into something, then it's the same as making anything else into something. If you don't make something into something, it's the same as Zen practice. So why do they say stuff like, why does a Zen teacher say, wall gazing? In the back, a spring flower opens."

[18:49]

Sounds like if you sit and face the wall, a spring flower will open in the back. Some great enlightenment will happen if you sit and face the wall, if you practice wall gazing. That's one interpretation you could make. But the way I would suggest is that wall gazing doesn't mean that you're sitting gazing at the wall. Wall gazing means that your mind is like the wall, that your mind is like not one thing. And when you sit or stand or walk or lie down or cook lunch or sleep or talk or think, anything you do where there's not one thing is the opening of the spring flower.

[20:01]

It is infinite compassion. A woman said to me, well when I'm meditating I feel pretty good, I'm fairly calm, but I think about my family all the time, or a lot, and I think about my work a lot too. So she thought that probably when she sat that those thoughts of the work and family should be stopped. It says in one of our introductory meditation texts, cast aside all worldly affairs. Doesn't it?

[21:16]

Did it say, stop thinking good or bad? Did it say that too? But if the practice was to cast aside all worldly affairs, What would happen to the practice when the worldly affairs were happening? Zen is not absent in the midst of worldly affairs. It's not absent in the absence of worldly affairs. The realm where not one thing exists is all pervasive. There's no place it doesn't reach. So ordinary people who have passions and confusion can practice Zen in actual, real Zen.

[22:29]

Even non-ordinary people who live a very pure life and have almost no worldly concerns, they also can practice real Zen. Even they can. We speak of impressing the Buddhist seal on your three activities of body, speech and mind. That doesn't mean that Zen is body, speech, and mind. It means put the Buddha seal on body, speech, and mind. In other words, body, speech, and mind, karma, action of those three types continues to go on in the conventional world. We live in it. We enter it willingly and play the game of body, speech, and mind. But we don't make what our body is doing into Zen practice because if we make what our body is doing into Zen practice,

[23:34]

then when our body's not doing that, there would be no Zen practice. If sitting or bowing was Zen practice, then you wouldn't be able to do Zen practice when you were doing something else with your body. If speaking, you know, mantrams and incantations and sutras was Zen practice, then Zen practice would evaporate when you said, hello, Joe. Or you say, this is the Green Gulch office. But it isn't like that, fortunately. Zen is beyond all human activity, which is exactly why it penetrates all human activity. And you don't have to change your behavior for Zen to be alive. You just need to practice when and where there not one single thing exists.

[24:37]

Which means that when you're thinking something you're right there just purely with what you're thinking and you're not trying to improve it, get paid for it, have it get you well or sick or hurt somebody with it or help yourself. It's just what it is. And what it is, is in the realm of practice, what it is, is that not one thing exists there. In order to enter and practice in this way, we have to give up everything. But giving up everything doesn't mean you stop doing what you're doing. It means you give up your attachment to it. So I said to the woman, well, if your practice was such that you stop thinking about your family when you're meditating, then what would happen when you left the meditation hall and go talk to your family?

[25:56]

Would that be the end of your practice? In fact, you can have imperturbable composure sitting in this hall thinking about your family. You can be completely present, not trying to control your mind, and therefore not being entangled in your mind when you're thinking about your family, and you can get up out of this room, go meet your family, and maybe when you meet your family you can also had imperturbable composure there too, and not get entangled there when you're actually interacting with them. Meditation is not something done in a meditation hall. It's something done everywhere. And if it doesn't extend everywhere, it's not Zen.

[26:58]

It's some, perhaps, wholesome activity. But it's not real practice. Real practice is based on some wholesome activity like wholesomely, healthfully, creatively dealing with your misery. That's wholesome. But that's not enough. you also have to give up all attachment and entanglement with that healthy, creative way of responding to your suffering. Someone else told me that he has an inner dialogue going on while he's sitting. And it's calming down

[28:04]

but it hasn't completely stopped. But he's still a little entangled with it. Again, people might think, well, if you got the inner dialogue to go completely flat, then you wouldn't be entangled with it. And I guess that's true. How could you be entangled with something that doesn't exist? But what happens when it comes back? As some Zen monk said to some really cool dude who had actually flattened all the mind thoughts, he said to him, what are you going to do when the great white wave comes crashing in? What are you going to do when death comes?

[29:35]

And when death comes and as you pass into death, I've heard that horrific and beatific images appear. Ooh, this is really beautiful. Come on over here. This is lovely. Or we're going to make you scared now. such things seem to be happening, even on this side of death. But how can you just not be entangled with whatever comes up? Again, there's no way to not be entangled. But if you are entangled, that's not a problem either, because even in the midst of the entanglement, real practice is where there's not one single thing existing, so you can be

[30:57]

cool and relaxed, even while you're totally tangled up, getting twisted and turned and ripped to shreds by causes and conditions. And by the way, in order to do the practice, you have to also admit that you're being ripped to shreds. You can't sort of space out and then enter the realm where there's not one thing because you have just believed in one thing, and that's why you spaced out. You have to admit that you believe that something exists in order to enter the realm where nothing exists, where not one thing exists. And the only reason why you have to admit it is because it's true. You do. If you don't, you don't have to admit it.

[32:04]

But if you don't, then the practice is over. And you have no need to practice anymore because you don't believe in the reality of anything. You've got no problems. There's no need to discuss anything except that people might find you and ask you questions. And then you have to be very careful. Wall gazing means to sit not expecting anything. Not expecting anything to improve or get worse. to sit with, sometimes Suzuki Roshi gently says, with not much gaining idea. But, you know, it's really just no gaining idea at all.

[33:19]

It means to sit and stand and walk and talk to speak these words with no gaining idea. Very hard for me to say this to you without some... I hope they understand what I'm trying to say in my heart. So anyway, when it's there, it's there. I'm talking and I'm hoping you understand me. But still... Even though there seems to be a gaining idea there, I sit in the middle of my gaining idea and there it's possible that I accept that I have a gaining idea and that there it is. I'm willing to be like I am. The practice really is formless.

[34:34]

But because it's formless, it doesn't move to some place where there's no forms. That would be a form. Because the practice is formless, it is present in every form. In every vocal, physical, and mental karma we do, the practice is there. The way is there. And it's because it's formless that it can be there. And all these rituals we do, these forms that we have, are just like the forms of daily life. They're opportunities to discover the real practice. which cannot be grasped, which cannot be seen, which cannot be heard, but which completely penetrates everything we see, everything we hear.

[35:40]

There's nothing about it that hinders anything or can be hindered by anything. And that comes to the doubt thing or the no doubt thing And the question is, do you doubt that whatever form your body's in, whatever sound you're making with your voice, whatever thought is in your mind, do you doubt that compassion is fully arriving at that moment, that the true practice is actually happening right there? And if you do, then you do, and you should understand or you may please understand that the actual practice is completely perfectly there in every manifestation in the universe, in every pain and pleasure, and it is completely unentangled even as it penetrates the kinkiest entanglement.

[36:54]

question for me is, am I upright? Am I very upright and attentive and alert to appreciate this practice as it's manifesting right now? As it manifests in every moment. As it manifests even in gaining idea. So if you sit and you feel extremely agitated and so on, you can't sit still, your mind is screaming, true practice is right there.

[38:02]

True practice is definitely right there. Certain kinds of pretty good kind of practice is not there. The practice of feeling cool and relaxed, of having a body that's quiet and serene and singing celestial music, that practice is not there. The practice that does happen sometimes, I've heard about it. People open certain scriptures, they read them and they start hearing celestial music in the background. Such things do happen. It's okay. Don't worry about it. Sometimes, though, the drumbeat is the drumbeat of a dirge. It's the sound just before your head gets cut off. Certain kinds of sweet practices are not present at that time. They're not there. This is horror, horrorville.

[39:09]

But real practice is there, definitely. That's what real practice is. It's what pervades every situation of your life. Question is, do you doubt it? If you doubt it, you're sunk. And you know that. And you doubt that you're being sunk is pervaded by the true practice. So, please, enjoy the fact that this world is and must be the place of true practice. Please enjoy the true practice. It is manifesting right now. And If you have doubt, admit that and decide whether you want to turn the corner and drop the doubt and hear the true Dharma.

[40:14]

The true Dharma is coming to you right now. And it's not because of what I'm saying. It's not what I'm saying. It's that the true Dharma comes to you even, even while I'm talking. Even while I'm talking, the true Dharma is penetrating you completely. And also when I stop, it keeps coming. That's what the true Dharma is like. It never puts the brakes on. It's always coming to you. It's non-stop. Everything in the universe is delivering it to you. like that monk who said to the national teacher, Jung, what is the mind of the ancient Buddha? And Jung said, walls, tiles, and pebbles.

[41:15]

And the monk said, well, are they expounding the Dharma to me? And he said, yes, incessantly, incessantly and incandescently. And he said, why can't I hear it? He said, although you may not hear it, don't hinder the one that does. So not only is a true dharma being delivered to you and is a true practice reaching you and is true compassion completely and totally penetrating every cell of your body, every atom of your body and mind, not only is that happening, but somebody is receiving and enjoying that and hearing that. So you can just sit here for a few days and let the one who's receiving the true Dharma receive it in peace. Even though if you get up out of this room and run around town for the rest of the week and jump up and down and bang your head against the wall or whatever you do, no matter what you do, somebody will still keep hearing the true Dharma.

[42:23]

But why don't you have a little party and celebrate that by sitting here and letting that happen? It's not your sitting here that makes it happen, though. That's just a ritual party to celebrate it. The thing that actually is happening is that somebody is just sitting there, not doing anything, just receiving and transmitting the truth. Please don't hinder the one who's enjoying it, even though you can't. Even if you sit there and scream and holler, it doesn't hinder it at all. So now that I look at it, the national teacher was a really great guy, and I really love him.

[43:24]

I do. He said some other really wonderful things, which I still think about. Can you imagine that? The guy lived... 1,300 years ago, and here I am walking around this country thinking about what he said. Amazing. I never even met him. Anyway, I'm not criticizing him, but when he said, don't hinder that which hears it, in a way that was kind of silly because you can't hinder it. But you can. You can hinder it for yourself by doubting it. By doubting that this chunk of suffering, that this stupid person talking to you, is somehow not an occasion for you to hear the Shudharma. And again, the stupid person is saying stupid things.

[44:26]

That's true. But no matter how stupid they are, no matter how arrogant they are, the true Dharma is still coming through them. Siddhikarashi used to go to the market and pick all the, you know, the worst vegetables. Now, I'm not criticizing him, but I think he did it just because he felt sorry for them. but somebody said the reason why he did is because he could see the Dharma flowing through them too. And also, you know, no doubt does not mean that when a certain person asks you for the keys to your car and they've been drinking too much, it doesn't mean you give the keys to the car to them. You might still say, well, I don't want to give you the keys to my car and I certainly don't want to go riding with you because you seem to be drunk.

[45:36]

I don't want you to drive the car in this condition. I'm not going to give you the keys. And I wholeheartedly, warmly say that to you. I'm not going to give them to you. And I have no doubt that the Dharma is flowing through my talking right now, even though what I'm saying is not the Dharma. The Dharma supports me to say, no, you can't have the keys. And the Dharma supports you right now. The Dharma is coming through you very nicely in your drunkenness. Your drunkenness can't hinder the Dharma, but your drunkenness does make you an ineligible driver. And that's the Dharma too. The Dharma is, you ain't going to drive this car. It's a Dharma. But it's not really that you're not going to drive the car, that's the Dharma. If the Dharma comes through, you're not driving the car. Now, if you should take the keys from me and overpower me and take the keys and get the car and drive, the Dharma will come through there too. And it will come through very strongly and everyone will be amazed by what happens and everyone will be shocked to see the Dharma unfolding through this.

[46:43]

And it will be horrible. Therefore, I don't give you the keys, so please don't take them. Trusting what's happening does not mean anything other than being awake. That's all it means. I wake up and this is the time when not one thing exists and this is the time for true practice. I have no doubt that now is that time. But that time is sometimes extremely terrible. When you or someone you love is in great pain, it's hard to believe. It's hard to have no doubt that this is the time to practice. And the Dharma is being delivered now, even here in this situation.

[47:50]

But the idea I'm proposing is that if you have no doubt, you will make the appropriate response to the suffering you're experiencing. Someone gave me a poem, another poem by Mary Oliver about somebody committing suicide and she wrote next to it, stay close and do nothing and yet, I didn't ask her yet what she meant by and yet. Maybe she meant, could it really be true that you just stay close to a suicide and do nothing? But doing nothing does not mean your idea or my idea of doing nothing. It means Stay close to suffering and there find what it means for not one thing to exist.

[48:55]

And then some action will come forth from that spontaneously. Some body, speech and mind will happen. But that body, speech and mind is not something that's done about this suffering. It is something that spontaneously erupts or grows out of encountering the suffering and hearing the Dharma. And then an action of compassion emerges from the embracing this ancient being, embracing the pain and hearing the Dharma, doing the true practice, seeing the fruit practice, experiencing Wall gazing does not mean you looking at the wall.

[50:10]

It means to have a mind where not one thing exists, where not a single thing exists. Someone raised her hand, and I'm a strange person, maybe kind of compulsive or something, but I would be willing to keep talking about this all day long.

[51:43]

And matter of fact, I will be talking about this all day long with people one-on-one. But I also feel like somehow I should stop and Let all of us take this step to see if I can remember and you can remember after I stop talking to see if we can remember to not doubt, to have no doubt, and to use whatever comes up without anybody yelling in your ear that you're supposed to be using it. So I really think I have to stop to see if the practice can go on without me yelling at myself. Announcements are fine. Go ahead. What?

[52:49]

What does it say? Show it to me. Oh, looks like you've got taste. Man.

[53:12]

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