In the first three meetings, I have been discussing, offering to you, in some sense, a way to look at what we have been calling for many years Zazen, through the teachings of the Lotus Sutra. So, to suggest to you all that Zazen is what the Lotus Sutra calls only a Buddha together with Buddha. The Lotus Sutra describes only a Buddha together with Buddha as the, you could say, womb, the womb, the matrix

[01:02]

of the authentic understanding of the reality of all things. So, Zazen is the understanding of the reality of all things, and this teaching only a Buddha together with Buddha, I feel, helps us understand the multidimensional aspect, the multidimensional nature of this simple word. Zazen, the multidimensional nature of so-called Zen meditation. And mostly I feel that in the first three classes I've been emphasizing the only a Buddha side of Zazen.

[02:13]

Tonight I'd like to turn to the together with Buddha side of Zazen. The only a Buddha side could be seen as, again, a solitary Buddha, as a subjective experience, a subject. And then there's another subject, and the relationship between the two subjects is intersubject. So, within the subjective meditation, we can call that intra-subjective, as in intramural, within the subjective type of meditation.

[03:27]

And I think many people, that's what they think meditation is, is a subjective experience. And I would say that's part of it. Part of the Buddha's meditation is subjective, but another part is intra-subjective. So, Buddha's meditation is the meditation of all subjects. And it's not just all the subjects, but it's the relationship between all the subjects. The active, ongoing interrelationship. The active, ongoing, authentic conversation between subjects. So, part of the real Buddha is only a Buddha, and another part of Buddha is together with Buddha.

[04:31]

All the subjects, all the only Buddhas, all the solitary Buddhas, who are doing personal, subjective study, body-based study of their subjects. The relationship between them is, I'm suggesting, the real Buddha. But, for this conversation to be full, each subject has a job to do, of being the subject. And so, the prayer that I've been saying over and over is, I pray that each of you, and all of us, receive silence and stillness.

[05:34]

In receiving silence and stillness, and remembering silence and stillness, we settle into being a subject. Finally, settling completely into the subject being the subject. Settle the self onto the self. There are many, many other instructions for helping the self settle on the self. For example, many of you have heard of instructions about how to take care of your breath, how to take care of your breathing. How to be mindful of your breathing and your posture. These practices offer the opportunity of being only who you are at that moment, and giving up any kind of distraction.

[06:44]

Or rather, by being very aware of the distraction and letting it be, settle into only a Buddha. Another instruction is, let go of thinking. Not push it away, not deny it, just let it go. Be with it completely, and in being with it completely and compassionately, it's released. And in that way of being with our thinking, we become only a Buddha. We need to do this in order to have our face. Before we settle into our face, we don't really realize our face. But once we completely use everything that's happening as an opportunity to be still, to let ourselves be still and silent with our face,

[07:46]

now we have a face, and this face can be given to other faces. And this giving of the face to other faces, and other faces giving themselves to us, this is face-to-face transmission. Which is another word for zazen, which is another word for only a Buddha face together with a Buddha face. So this is like a personal practice, personal only a Buddha practice. And it's part of the meditation practice. Now, and also, we have these bodhisattva practices of, for example, the first five paramitas of the six paramitas. Generosity, ethical discipline, patience, diligence, enthusiasm, and concentration.

[08:51]

By doing these practices, our face becomes concentrated on our face. Buddha becomes only Buddha. Now, we're ready to move on to social meditation. Interpersonal meditation. So again, the practice of the Buddhist meditation is personal and interpersonal. It's individual and it's social. So now I'm moving on to consider the social meditation side of Buddha's meditation. Which is together with Buddha, you Buddha together with me Buddha. This is social meditation. And again, many people don't think of social interaction as meditation.

[09:55]

They think of meditation as individual intra-psychic. Now I'm bringing up, it is personal intra-psychic dimension, but it's also social interpersonal, it's the two together. And we must do both parts thoroughly in order to realize the true nature of all things. And again, when we start to contemplate other subjects, when we, a subject, turn our subjectivity towards other subjects, in order for that contemplation and that meeting to be complete, we have various practices to suggest to help us be really inter-subjective. Be really social or socially meditating or meditating socially.

[11:03]

So, meditating personally and meditating socially. And again, the six perfections of the Bodhisattva are ways to relate to other subjects in such a way as to realize the conversation between only a Buddha and only a Buddha together with Buddha. So, to have conversations between this subject and that subject, between my subject and other subjects, I need to practice generosity. In order to have the real Buddha living, in order to have the full understanding of the nature of the reality of all things, I need to be thoroughly devoted to ethical discipline in relationship to other subjects.

[12:05]

In order to have this inter-subjective conversation of this subject and other subjects, I need to practice patience. In order to have real, genuine conversation between this subject and other subjects, I need to be diligent and enthusiastic. I need to be full of enthusiasm. Enthusiasm etymologically means full of God. I need to be full of joy at the prospect of this conversation with other subjects. And then, I need to be collected, undistracted, and open and flexible in my conversation, which is the fifth perfection of concentration. This kind of conversation then naturally gives rise to the sixth perfection, which is perfect wisdom, prajnaparamita.

[13:22]

But perfect wisdom is this inter-subjective conversation. Wisdom is a conversation. It's not something I have by myself or you have by yourself. It's our conversation when our conversation becomes fully enlive and fully interpenetrating and mutually inclusive of the other and the self. These five practices make possible realizing the sixth perfect wisdom, which is the mature, genuine wisdom, which is the mature, genuine, only a Buddha together with Buddha.

[14:24]

And then four other practices, which are, well, yeah, four other practices, which are also social practices, are called, one name of them is the bodhisattvas four methods of guidance. But also can be called the bodhisattvas four methods of being guided. It's the four methods of guiding other subjects, and it's the four methods of letting other subjects guide me. In wholehearted conversation, my interlocutor is guiding me to the wholeheartedness of the exchange. I can't do the wholehearted conversation by myself. So there's four methods for how to guide the conversation to its fulfillment.

[15:36]

Another way to translate this word guide is to embrace and sustain, which relates to the third of the three pure bodhisattva precepts. The third of the three pure bodhisattva precepts is embrace and sustain all beings. So these four are four methods for embracing and sustaining all beings, but also that word embrace and sustain can be active or passive. So again, these are four methods for embracing and sustaining other beings in conversation. But there are also four methods for other beings to embrace and sustain you or me.

[16:37]

And what are the four methods? Well, they start out very similar to the six perfections. The first method for embracing others in conversation and having others embrace me in conversation, the first practice is giving, generosity. The second practice is kind speech. But actually, I'm not sure how it is in Sanskrit. I don't remember exactly, but it actually these four, the first six and these four, all are in Indian Sanskrit and Mahayana texts. But I don't remember what this kind speech is in Sanskrit. But the Chinese character that you use doesn't just mean kind, it means loving, loving.

[17:44]

And then the third one is beneficial action. And the fourth one, which in a way is a tough one, and really is the creme de la creme of these four. The fourth one is identity action or action, which is the same action as all beings. Or another kind of loss of this is in the same boat, the practice of being in the same boat with others. So briefly, just to get things started on these four methods, what are they? The four social meditations for those who wish to practice what all Buddhas practice, which is all Buddhas practice only a Buddha together with Buddhas.

[19:01]

This is what they practice. This is what they realize. This is what they transmit. On the social side, they practice generosity. So when we practice generosity towards others, we give them gifts. For example, we give them ourselves. We give them our body and mind. We offer it to them. They may not do anything with it, but we give it to them. So the Bodhisattva every moment gives her body to others. She may not say so, but she feels like, here, I'm here. I'm a gift to you. And in that practice of giving myself to others, as again I get deeper into that practice, I discover that they're giving themselves to me.

[20:06]

So this practice of giving, this intersubjective practice of giving, is one where I realize not just I want to give and I'm trying to give, but I discover that others are giving themselves to me, whether they want to or not, they do. If they think they don't want to give themselves, that's what they give me. They give me a person who thinks she does not want to give herself to me. And I might find that quite attractive, somebody not giving themselves to me as their gift. I give you somebody who does not want to give herself. I give you somebody who does not want to give himself. This mutual giving is the reality of all things. This social practice of Buddhas together with Buddhas, that is reality. That's where we realize reality and that is what we're doing.

[21:10]

We are giving ourselves to each other all day long. We cannot stop that. We cannot prevent it. We are actually in a process of intense, thoroughgoing, unceasing mutual generosity. And if we don't realize it, the way to realize it is to start practicing generosity in some way or other. And as you get into practicing generosity towards others, you will discover that they're practicing generosity towards you. Now somebody might say, well, I'd rather start with other people being generous with me. Okay, fine. The more you realize that people are giving you gifts, the closer you are to realizing you're giving them a gift. For example, a student, the more the student realizes the teacher is giving her gifts,

[22:15]

the closer she is to realizing that she's giving the teacher a gift. Teachers want students to give themselves to the teacher so the teacher can give them teachings. When you receive a teaching, you're giving a Buddha, a teacher, a bodhisattva, a life. Without you to give to, they have no life. So if you don't think you're wanting to give to the teacher and you only want the teacher to give to you, fine. And the more you get into the teacher giving to you, the closer you are to waking up. Oh, all along I've been giving to the teacher. I've been giving myself here for the teacher to give teachings to. I'm such a generous student. What comes to my mind is many years ago, you know, like about 40 years ago, maybe, or maybe 37 or something like that.

[23:16]

Between about 35, 40 years ago, a woman was at San Francisco General and she had come to America from, I think, Singapore. I'm not sure, but I think she came from Singapore. She was an ethnic Chinese and she met a Buddhist teacher, a Chinese Buddhist teacher who was visiting Singapore and met her. And this teacher lived in California. And she asked if she could become ordained as a nun and he said, okay. And so she came to America to become ordained as a monk with this Chinese Buddhist monk. Get the picture? Is that clear? But in the process of leaving Singapore, or maybe, is Singapore, it's an independent state, is it surrounded by or is it near Malaysia?

[24:22]

So coming from that part of the world, Southeast Asia, in the process of coming here, she discovered that she had cancer. So she came to America, but then pretty much right away, she went into the hospital to get cancer treatment. She still wanted to be a nun, but the Chinese Buddhist abbot would not ordain her in her cancerous condition. And so she went into hospice at San Francisco General. They started, they had a hospice there. And one of the people who worked in the hospice was a member of San Francisco Zen Center. And she invited me to go visit this woman from Southeast Asia of Chinese ethnicity.

[25:29]

And I went to visit her and she was very nice person and she told me her situation. And I don't know if I said right away, but either I said it right away or maybe I went back to Zen Center and I told people at Zen Center about this very sincere woman who came to America to get ordained as a Buddhist nun, but she couldn't. And now she was suffering in the hospice at San Francisco General. And I asked the San Francisco Zen Center people, what do you think of inviting her to come here and be in hospice at Zen Center? And people, the people supported the idea. So I went back and I said, would you like to come to Zen Center to live now for however much longer you live? And she said, yes. So she moved into Zen Center.

[26:34]

And yeah, and she was sick and she was in a wheelchair. And one time she was in the dining room having a meal. And my wife said to me, she's, she's letting everybody love her. This sick woman gave herself to the Sangha so that the Sangha could feel this love for her, this appreciation of her. She wasn't there, I don't think, to get all that love, but she gave herself so we could give her that love. It just came to my mind. We are giving ourselves to others so that they can love us. If we don't realize it, then we should start practicing generosity and we will realize it.

[27:43]

And they're doing the same with us. That's the first social practice of the four. So consider the possibility that in every conversation, you try to remember that your presence in the conversation, whether you're talking or not, whether you're speaking or being silent with the other person or listening to them, you're giving a gift. You're giving a gift of your words. You're giving a gift of your silence. You're giving a gift of your listening. Consider that possibility. I suggest that that social practice of giving with others in conversation is part of realizing a true conversation, is part of realizing the true nature of all things.

[28:51]

Now, being generous like this is great, of course. It's wonderful. And not only is it wonderful, but it is promoting the understanding of reality. Again, it's a good thing, I say. It's a wonderful thing. It's a joyful thing to practice generosity, but it's not just wonderful. It's also the way of understanding reality and becoming a Buddha. That's the first of the four social practices of bodhisattvas, the first four methods of embracing and sustaining other beings. I'm feeling like maybe I don't have time for the other three, but I'm going to just quickly mention them and then go into more detail in the future.

[29:52]

The second one is kind speech or loving speech. And the ancestor Dogen says, this is to talk to people as you would talk to a baby. Which again, you can say, well, I can't talk to everybody like I talk to a baby. They'll punch me in the face. Hello, sweetheart. But kind of talk to them like you're talking to a baby. Like you think they're really sweet and precious and you cherish them. Good morning. Good morning, Lisa. Good morning, Gail. Good morning, Jeff. Hello, Madeline. The next practice is beneficial action, which again means you're in the conversation.

[31:01]

You're in the conversation with other beings. That's the practice. That's the social practice of conversing with Buddha to Buddha and try to meditate on offering benefit to and for the conversation. And then moving to the fourth, just because I want to open up for conversation. The fourth is identity action. Which means to learn that your practice is other people's practice and their practice is your practice. That we are in the same boat. And try that on as a thought experiment. And these days, in these very difficult times we're in, a lot of people just would be really challenged to open up to being in the same boat with some people.

[32:19]

A lot of people would be challenged to really be in the same boat with everybody. Not that you like them, not that they're, you know, they may even say that they're not a good person. They may say, you know, I'm really evil and I'm a bad person. Whoever they are, this fourth practice is, the fourth of these bodhisattva social practices is to meditate on everybody being in the same boat with you and you being in the same boat with them. And that's what I, you know, I imagine that we may have a lot of difficulty discussing that fourth practice. And so now I open up the conversation, okay? For your responses, your gifts.

[33:28]

Please, please give me your gifts. Please give this assembly your gifts. Okay? Thank you. Hello, Ram. Rana. Yes. I don't even know how, but listening to you, my heart is so deeply touched. And there is nothing that I can say that I've heard that that was the reason, but somehow you did it. And when we were meditating, something very funny happened.

[34:32]

I heard my stomach making noises. I didn't hear anything. And then I thought, it's yours. And then I couldn't distinguish. Is it me or you? So where the sounds is coming from? I couldn't tell. So that was, that was the conversation was happening. Yeah. And my heart is wishing to give you as your student. Because of all the years that you have been sharing with us your heart. And that beautiful heart.

[35:34]

I receive and I appreciate. And I've been sharing my stomach with you too. Yes, you did. Tonight, you share your stomach with me. Thank you for the gift. Thank you. You're welcome. Ranigan. Ranigan. Well, I have to say that this teaching and giving generosity, help me understand something that I've been puzzled about. And I have to confess that I haven't been generous. In my family, we've been doing Zoom meetings for our different birthdays.

[36:42]

And. May I say something? Sure. When you told me that you haven't been generous. That was the gift. That I learned from you. Please continue. Thank you. In my family. We've been doing Zoom meetings for our birthdays. And I set up the Zoom. So it came time for mine. And. We were having difficulty coming to an agreement on the date. And it just totally irritated me because people kept wanting to change it. And finally, I just said, let's just forget this one. And I felt sort of self-righteous about it. And we didn't do it for my birthday. And I thought in a way, well, I'm being selfless. But no, I, in a way, I was really being selfish. And I wasn't, as you put it, and I wrote it down.

[37:48]

We are giving ourselves to others so they can love us. And I didn't let them love me. So all week I've been thinking about that. You gave. You gave the person that you were to them. You did. Yeah. You gave a person who. What were you, did you say selfish? You can give people, you can give people a selfish person. Okay. So if I'm selfish, I can still give myself, you know, I don't have much to give. Matter of fact, what I have to give is a selfish guy. But that's what I have to give you today. Here, here's my selfish person. And I don't want to have a birthday party because you people are so irritating. And that's what I have to give to you. And you can really sincerely be that person. That's like only a Buddha. I'm a selfish person and I remember silence and stillness.

[38:55]

So then I'm just a selfish person. But I also now give that person. So now I'm only a Buddha together with Buddha. I, you know, and part of me wishes I had something better to give than the selfish person I am. But in fact, that's what I have to give. Is this kind of below average or sub quality person. But that's what I have to give to you, dear family. And here I am. And I don't want to talk to you anymore. But that's a gift. And I, and I really feel joyful to give you that gift. And now that I've given it to you, you know, I guess that was a birthday party. We had it after all. And instead of, and so I gave you the gift of me not wanting to party. I gave you the gift of me being irritated. And you all gave me the gift of being my precious, wonderful family receiving my gift of selfishness.

[39:59]

Thank you so much. And you can really mean that. That's a reality. Okay. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. Thank you for the gift. Tracy. Like to give you my below average gift. Oh, you got a below average one. Great. And I have to say, it's not that I'm judging. But Ron, I thought yours was really above average. And I was very. I'm coming in with a different order of gift. You have a different gift. You have, you have your unique gift. Yeah. Yeah. So my unique gift is to. For the millionth time, I wrote down the six parameters. I'm getting quite familiar with them.

[40:59]

And then it's like, okay, now there's this new list of four. And my first thing is. I can't. Who doesn't just have one. There are too many different. I wish it were simpler. I wish there could be. Just give me one less and I'll work my life on it. But now I have to try to figure out what these four. And how they fit with the other six. So. Yeah, I did. I did give you just one. I gave you one. At the beginning of the class is called Zen meditation. That's one. That's all. That's it. And then I'm unpacking it a little bit for you. But really I gave you just one thing. Which is. And I unpacked it. Only a Buddha together with Buddha. So the Lotus sutra only gives you one thing. All it gives you is a Lotus. You know, is the true. Dharma. That's it. But then it unfolds it. And, and, and it says. Now your job is to. You. No matter what you're given work with that.

[42:01]

Including all this complexity. And including that you wish it was simple. That's part of it. And that's a gift. You telling me you wished it was simple. That's a gift to me. Okay. And I'm not telling you. You know, that's, that's it. Only give me that gift. You can, you give me all these other gifts. You do. You give me all these gifts. But those. And, and giving basically is another, you could say, giving is the whole thing too. Well, I keep. Yeah, I keep thinking. Or you. It seems like, no, this is the whole thing. No, no. This is the whole thing. And they keep. Well, that's true. That's that's also, that's like. Same practice. We're all doing the same practice. And has all these different names. Like Tracy and green and Jeff. But it's the same practice. The thing is we need to, we need to learn. That we're always talking about the practice we're doing together.

[43:06]

And the way we learn it is by giving all these different names and seeing if we can not be fooled by them. Okay. And, and it's hard because some of the names really are tricky. And they think, well, that's something different. Well, no, it's, it's the same practice. That person's not practicing like me. Yes. Look more deeply. Okay. I will. Be with everything you just said. And, and. I have a comment on number two. I have a comment on number three. When you say. Or when it is said. Speak to them like a baby. Can I assume we mean with the tenderness and love? You feel to a baby rather than the limited intelligence that a baby might have. Yeah. Well, It's not so much. We don't say why sweetheart, because the baby's not smart. We say it because we feel that way. We don't tell the baby.

[44:08]

This is, you know, the theory of economics. No, we don't. We don't talk to babies like that. It's true. But if we do say here's a theory of economics, then. We should say it like. I have this precious gift to give to you, darling. It's a theory of economics. You've had that feeling like you're. Like you're getting, you're giving this person, this living being. Who you think is really sweet. And you want to give them something. You want to give them something. You want to be gentle and tender with them. And it might be a really complex intellectual thing. True. And you wouldn't give that to a baby. Yeah. You wouldn't talk to baby like that. But the tone. Voice. Would be just, you know, you really appreciate it. You don't want to hurt this thing. You don't want to hurt this person. And you just really. Think it's the greatest thing you ever saw. And, and you just, you just feel that way. And so you talk to him that way. And you probably won't say. Certain things to them.

[45:09]

But you might. It's possible. But. It's the feeling. So it's a feeling practice. It's just, it's just speaking, which is. You're feeling how you're speaking. And you're, you're, you're taking into account or you're referencing. You know, how you're talking to the other person and whether the way you're talking. Is. Kind and. And loving. I totally hear that. If I could just ask a number three. When I read beneficial action or when you said it, and I wrote beneficial action. What came to mind was. Isn't it that we can't ever know what's beneficial. Well, that's part of beneficial action. Is is that. You're trying to be beneficial. Even though. You're not completely sure what it is. But you've heard about these four and now you're on number three. So here we go. One, two, three.

[46:11]

I'm going to try to offer something beneficial to this conversation. I want to do this practice, but I don't really understand what it is yet. But I still want to do it. And I'll also, if I think, if I thought I knew everything about what beneficial action is. Maybe that would not be beneficial. Maybe that would close some. Information. Because it isn't just beneficial for me. It's beneficial for you too, that I want. So you have some say in it. So I might try to do something. Beneficial. But if I'm fixed on knowing that that was beneficial. Then that would leave no room for you to say, you know, I have a question about what you just said or what you just offered. I'm not so sure that that was beneficial. And if I have a fixed idea of what it is, and I might not be able to listen to your feedback. Which doesn't seem beneficial to me.

[47:12]

So. So being open to have the intention. Have the intention and then being open. Yeah, that's right. Had the intention and, and part of beneficial action is to be open. So you could also, again, to make things simple. You could, in place of beneficial action, you can just put. All six parameters. You put them all in there because they're all part of it. And they include. Being generous means you're open. You know, you give something, but you don't really. You're not really sure what you gave because it depends on how the person receives it. So, yeah. So openness is part of generosity. It's part of talking to babies. And it's part of beneficial action. You're welcome. Thank you for your gift. Hello.

[48:17]

Hello. Barbara Joan. First, I want to thank you for the gift. Of conversation. Thank you. Both. The gift. This conversation right now. And the teaching, but also to let you know that I've been thinking all week about coming in tonight. And asking you about conversation. So you sort of. Preempted my question about what conversation is and taught us about it. So thank you for hearing. My. Conversation. So there were two pieces. That I had questions about in the four methods. Questions that I can formulate. One is when you said. The generosity. When you said the generosity. I have some. I don't know. Take issue is the right word,

[49:19]

but I have some concern about the. The description of I give my body and you give your body. And I think that that concern is coming up, particularly right now in this era of danger for. People's bodies and. And so I guess I wonder in the concept of generosity. How boundaries play a role. Well, you just gave me a gift. Barbara Joan. Did you, did you feel like you're giving me a gift? I'm glad that you. Feel it as a gift. So. Yes. While you were talking. I was wondering. What I was wondering. She's talking to me now. I wonder if she's aware that she's giving me a gift. I was wondering that while you were talking.

[50:19]

You didn't, you didn't look like you're giving me a gift. Should I try again? I have. Again, try again. Ready. Yeah. You ready? I have a gift for you. I have a question about. Exactly. Yeah. Right. I'm wondering. I'm wondering. If boundaries could be part of the generosity. Yeah. Right. And the answer is yes. Yes. People say set boundaries. And I've been trying to say, I've been making case for years. Give boundaries. Give them. It's very important to give boundaries for people to know. What your boundaries are. If you tell me your boundaries. That's a gift to me. It shows me. How to be close to you. I can be right up to that place. If you don't give me boundaries. Well, you do have boundaries.

[51:22]

So you should give them to me. Okay. And also when I say. We are giving our bodies to other people. But the body you can give can be a boundary body. You can say one, two, three. This is my boundary. That's a, you know, One, two, three. I want you to not get any closer to me. That can be a gift. It could also be a rhyme. Say what? Also be a rhyme. One, two, three. To me. Yes. So. Yeah. Giving. You know, You've heard the story about my grandchildren. Right. Putting their hands in my mouth. So I gave them a boundary so they could be close to me. I gave them a boundary. So they could be close to me. I joyfully told them to wash their hands. I gave that to them so they could be to do this intimate thing with me. I wasn't. I wasn't setting a boundary. I was showing them a way that we could be close together.

[52:23]

Without me feeling. Really bad about their dirty hands in my mouth. So. You can give a martial arts body to somebody. You say I'm here. And, and I'm well-trained. And no matter what you do, I can work with you. And, but I'm not going to necessarily let you hurt anybody, including me or anybody else. I'm just here. I'm going to give you boundaries all over the place. And it's going to be a really fun thing to do together. You're not going to get hurt because I'm well-trained at boundary giving. And I'd be happy to give you boundaries. Would you like. Great. That feels like a gift. Thank you. And you gave the gift to bring that out. Thank you. Thank you. And I have one more piece of a question. I know you haven't elaborated on number four identity action. But the question that came up for me around it. I would like to offer this question.

[53:25]

To you. Is. Is. How does identity action relate to empathy? Or. I think once you're in the boat together, empathy is very useful. But you can, you can, you can feel you're in the same boat with people prior to being empathic. So these people, I don't know, you know. I don't know what example to use, but you may not. Be worried. That women are going to take over the world. You may not be afraid of that. And it may be hard for you to be. To be empathic. With men who are afraid of that. You know, you don't get it. You know, what's the problem with women. You know, having equal rights. Well, If you could see in the minds of some men, they think.

[54:26]

If women have equal rights, pretty soon they're going to have all the rights and men are going to be like totally. Obsolete. They're afraid of that. A lot of men are. You know, they're afraid that they're going to have no power. If women have equal power. And you may have trouble being empathic with them. You don't get it. But you're, but still, when you get in the same boat with them, You will, you will start. You will gradually, you'll start to understand. How they could feel that way, but it may take a long time. I don't know. But the point is, if you're not in the same boat, you may think, well, I don't have to, I don't have to understand. Why they feel that way. Cause they're. They're nothing to do with me. But if you're in the same boat, we're going to have to, we're going to have to understand each other. But we're not going to jump in the boat with everybody and immediately understand their perspective. About why white people are afraid that white people are going to be eliminated. And so on.

[55:28]

And so on. We. But, but if we're in the same boat, we're going to have to work it out together. With these people who really have such different views from us and such different fears. We don't get it yet. It's great if we do. But we don't yet. So let's get in the boat. And start working on it. And also getting the boats more like compassion. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to get, I'm going to get in the boat with people because I care about them, even though I don't understand them. And then I'll. And then the empathy. Will help us go deeper. Thank you. You're welcome. And some people have empathy, but they still don't want to get in the boat with people. They know why they feel that way. Yeah. I don't want to, I don't want to get in the boat with you. Thank you. Barbara June. Joan. Welcome. Oh, Christian.

[56:33]

Hello. Good to see you. Good to see you. I didn't expect to be next. So here I am though. I. I have an offering. And. It came to mind when you were talking about. Talking to people as though you would talk to a baby. And. So the backstory is. During the. The pandemic. Especially during the pandemic. I have had. You know, it's really been interesting. Spending a lot more time with my family and definitely. More. Tension. Than usual because we're together all the time. And I've had some really interesting conversations. So with, especially with my husband.

[57:36]

About how I talk to him. And. One day we were having a conversation and he said, I wish you would. Talk to me. The way you talk to Charlie, who is my dog. He's my little sweet dog that. And it really. I will never forget that. And I. I hear myself talking to Charlie now. And my voice is so soft and, you know, like I completely transform when I see him and I want to know how he's doing and I'm so sweet. And it really. It was just such a great. It was a great gift to me to have my husband say that. Yeah. Yeah. It's really great. So. How are you hubby? I've tried it out a few times and it works great. He doesn't mind that I sound like that. Like, Oh, hi. How are you? Like you can't, you can't be too loving. You know,

[58:42]

you can't be too gushy. Maybe it's possible, but still, if it is, then they give you the gift of saying. Exactly. Exactly. So that was, that was good. And. I just, one other short offering, which is. I've been sitting with only a Buddha together with a Buddha and. And. And something came to me, which I thought I would share, which is. The breath. So breathing. To me. Helps me remember together. With the Buddha, because it's somebody. This is actually somebody else was talking about this. The breath, the air, the atmosphere is not us. It's coming into us. It's not us. We're sharing it. And then it's leaving. It's not. It kind of bursts the bubble on that. I'm this isolated person all on my own. I'm not.

[59:42]

You're breathing all day long. There's that exchange. I thought that was really helpful. So I thought I would share that. Yeah. And as you. As you take care of your breath and are mindful of your breath. You become only a Buddha. And then as you become only a Buddha, you realize, oh. Does to get all the other Buddhists too. They're doing the same thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was my offering. Thank you. Thank you. Hello, green.

[60:48]

Hi, red. Well, a lot of the things that you were discussing with Barbara Joan. We're resonating for me. I. I'm struggling with a specific situation where at work, someone like raised their voice with me. And they're really mean. And. I am having a challenge figuring out how to respond to the situation. And. And. I had two kind of thoughts about it. One was, I feel like. As a person who has a past of. Of. Feeling. Maybe. Maybe. Disempowered or that I received a lot of cruelty. I feel like it's really hard for me to just respond in a sane manner.

[61:54]

Like, I feel like I have all this. Ground to regain. Or something. So I'm struggling with like thinking about it in a clear way. And I'm also like, I have been reflecting on trying to remember your words about. Well, I don't want to say what your words were, but how I remember some of the stories I've heard you say about. Not being pushed around by praise and blame. Yes. I just want to say. That. When you've you said it's. It's hard for you. To. Deal with certain situations. when you're dealing with certain situations. Yes. So right there is an opportunity to start the practice of generosity.

[62:55]

Of being generous to yourself. Of letting yourself be this person. Who's having trouble. For example, Being sane. You know, I'm having trouble being sane right now. But. But I can practice generosity towards this woman. Who's having trouble. Being sane. You can practice. Genuine generosity towards yourself when you're having trouble. Being sane. You can write there. Forget about the other person. Who you're having trouble being sane with. Be sane with yourself by being generous with yourself. And I offer also something I thought was really helpful. Which is. Seeing sanity. Not as the opposite of crazy. But as having the resources. To not humiliate others.

[63:58]

Or yourself. So. You know, You told us this difficulty you're having. Of being sane. Like, for example. Being generous with somebody. Who's talking to you in a cruel way. The same thing would be to be generous with that person. And to treat them in a way that doesn't humiliate them. Because you could humiliate someone. Who's talking to you in a rude way. But that wouldn't be sanity. It wouldn't be crazy either. Just be. It would just be humiliating. And it's hard to, it's hard to treat somebody. In a sane way. When they're being cruel to you. But you can be kind to yourself right then. And. Well, actually, this has been progressing. And I was trying to. Well, I have been trying to practice this, that you.

[65:02]

This. Over time and. The development. Is that instead of being totally shut down by that person. I like met them in the moment and it kind of gave it back to them. What they were giving me. Which did feel really good because I felt like I was standing up for myself and I wasn't like silencing myself. I was kind of like. This isn't right. So I kind of felt good that I like met it, but at the same time, I still have this very uncomfortable dynamic. Well, again, try to bring into it. You say, stand up for yourself. That's what you can make standing up for yourself, a gift. To you and to him or her. It's a gift for you. To be yourself. The main thing you have to give to people is yourself. So it is a gift to stand up to the situation. To stand up for yourself. As yourself. Is a gift. And it still might be kind of.

[66:05]

Ferocious. It's not. It's not dangerous because you feel like. The ferocity is meeting ferocity. But the thing is it's it's not cruel. It's it's offered as a gift. It's not meant to hurt. It's meant to stand up for yourself. That's a good thing to do. You should stand up for yourself. That's all that's being only a Buddha. That's you. Honoring you. That's a gift. And that's not a cruelty to other people. However, if you lose sight of the gift quality. Then you can slip into that. Me being me is, is, is done. To strike back. Rather than to meet this aggressiveness. With. Energy. With energy. That's a gift. You almost got there.

[67:06]

Because you did want to stand up for yourself. That is good. You should do that. And being generous does stand up for you. Because it means you are letting yourself be the person who's got something to say. Like, you know, I want you to. Speak to me. I want you to speak to me more respectfully. And that's I'm giving that. To you as a gift. And I want you to speak to me respectfully. I really do. And I request that you do. And you can do that with lots of energy. You can do that with lots of energy. And take care of yourself when you do it. And that's going to, but it's hard. It's. But again. Be kind to yourself. Who's having a hard time being that same. And if you don't, if you're not, then you practice another kind of kindness, which is.

[68:08]

Giving boundaries. Giving boundaries. That wasn't very kind the way I gave them that feedback. I stood up for myself. But I also on the side. Tried to hurt him. That part. I'm sorry about. I'm not sorry about standing up for myself. I'm happy about that. But I also got into like. Some ill will. Ill will does not stand up for you. Giving boundaries does though. That's part of your responsibility. To be only a Buddha. To be a solitary Buddha. We need you to do that. Okay. Okay. Thank you. Steven.

[69:10]

I feel a little bit bad about coming so late. Yeah. Because I'm going to be such a drag, but. I've been reading this. Thank you for that gift. I've been reading a bill McKibben's falter and I think it's 2018, but it's very current. It actually reads like dystopian. Fiction. What's depressing about it is it's so real and so scientific. And. And so my take on it and I, I believe bill McKibben's take is that. You know, we're going to have to do some things that. Feel. Almost an unnatural. Well, no. Gent that feel genuine. Really unnatural. To. You know, make our best. You know, our most appropriate response to. Nature. Right. Because nature is.

[70:12]

You know, reality is, I think you'd agree is giving reality. Reality is. All of reality is giving all of reality to all of reality. And giving rise to reality. Right. And we're part of that, but we're. We're kind of a unique part of reality called human nature. And so now we. This business as usual is. Seems like it's going to have to alter. Significantly in ways that feel unnatural. If, if. They aren't in fact unnatural. And. So I guess my kind of the, the. My thought is, is that. We sort of need to accept things like. You know, risks of. Rising sea level to. As a gift.

[71:14]

And, you know, risks and re and actually actualities of. You know, drought flood as. Yes. Because they're part of this nature that we've been ignoring for. You know, basically since we began the human enterprise, but now it's actually no longer ignorable. So we. But we are part of this reality that we've been ignoring and. And now we need to accept this. This gift. I agree. And I think except seeing this. Crisis as a gift will help us make the appropriate response. For the welfare of all beings. And we have practices to deal with this crisis. Yeah, I mean, I mean, it seems like, like, we're going to have to like, alter.

[72:22]

Like. Like, I mean, like the Catholic church, it's my, you know, my humble opinion is going to have to have to alter like. Fundamental dogma. You know, and papal encyclicals and that's just the start. Yeah. Yeah. Seems highly likely that that may. I did see that, you know, a tiny step. I saw that. The city of Evanston, Illinois is starting to make reparation. To the. Injustice I've done to people who are seeking housing. In that town. Who were not allowed. To get houses because of racist. Housing policies. And they're starting to make reparations to those families. That suffered because of that. It's a tiny step, but. I'm. I'm up for it. And if I lived, if they want to do it in Marin county,

[73:25]

I would support it. And it's a whole new idea. But. I'm ready for it. I want to be ready for it. Thank you. Basia. Hi, Rob. Nice to see you again. Welcome. I've been waiting last week. I've been waiting. Well, every week. I'm looking forward to this meeting. Last week. I just couldn't stay awake. So I'm looking forward to listening to the. To the recording. But I just wanted to share that.

[74:27]

I really jumped into the. Coping of the. Lotus Sutra. Such a ferociousness. I really don't even understand. I'm just obsessed with doing it. It's like I spend every spare moment just copying. And I get some such a. Ridiculous. Pleasure out of it. So ridiculous. So. So I'm almost. 400 Something. And as I'm doing it. I'm discovering how much of a practice it is. In being intimate with the movements of the mind. And the body and emotions like. It's almost like. Grasping the text. And the reject or rejecting like constant. And it's almost like learning to be airborne.

[75:30]

Not touching the ground here or not, not touching your landing pad there. It's really about just. Not hanging on to these words. I think because. The stories are so incredible. Some of them. It's hard to believe them. And hard to disbelieve them. It's like. I have no grounds to reject them. And I have no. It's hard to accept them either. It's just like. So it's a fascinating exercise. Just to be with what I'm reading. And not. You know, it's very transformative because of it. Because the habit of wanting to engage with that text. And latch on to it. Is where it's kind of tired. It's getting tired. And it starts dropping away. Yeah, so it's kind of nice.

[76:33]

And I was also thinking about the benefits. That's another one. You know, all the promises. Today I was. I think that. The wonderful voice. Oh no, the cries. About the Avalokiteshvara. And the promises. And I was like reading it. And I was observing how. Oh yeah, I want that. You know this. Grasping for the. And recognizing that. This is yet another one. That sort of. Observing. All these movements. Of the ego. Right. Of the false self. And some people instead of grasping. They they're, they're rejecting. Rejecting. Yeah. This ridiculous. That's impossible. Yeah. Or I want that. Yeah. Even if it's ridiculous, I want it. So that's the Samadhi.

[77:35]

Not grasping. These were promises. Yeah. Or rejecting them as ridiculous. Right. Yeah. Especially the. The text. And don't get into rejecting it. Or grasping it. Yeah. Yeah. The challenge. And that's the beauty because as. I noticed like we were in this process of. Buying, you know, deciding to buy this expensive house and. And there was a lot of ambiguity and it was pretty stressful. Ambiguity. Ambiguity. Yeah. Exactly. And I just copied. The Lotus future will help you tolerate the ambiguity. Exactly. Like I just in the spare moment, I would just sit down and write. And I found it. It's amazing how it really. Brings one to that place of non. Non. It's amazing. Trying. Trying not to land. And on anything. Solid. So. Congratulations. It's wonderful.

[78:36]

Yeah. It really is wonderful. So. Oh yeah. And the language. I noticed that there's so much, so many words that were like. I was so turned off by. In the Bible. Yeah. I was so reading the Bible, you know, the devils. The sin. And. I mean, there's so many. Very Christian words. What we know as Christian. So I'm kind of looking forward to. Or Jewish. Jewish. Is that right? The Jews are also in the Bible. Right. Yes. Yes. Okay. Judeo-Christian words. Right. Yeah. And there again. How do you not grasp. Those words. Or reject them. That's the Samadhi. Yeah. And it's also like what I see. It is like a. Humility because. It's like recognizing that. I just don't know. To.

[79:39]

So it's so nice. You just become an idiot. A fool. A happy fool. Just wonderful. I don't have to. Know anything. Graduations. Yeah. Thank you. Well, we've reached the be witching hour. May the merit of our meeting extend to every being and place. And may we together with all beings realize Buddha's way. Beings are numberless. I vow to save them. Afflictions are inexhaustible. I vow to cut through. Dharma gates are boundless. I vow to enter them.

[80:41]

Buddha way is unsurpassable. I vow to become it. Good night, everybody. Thank you. Good night. Good night. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

[81:12]

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