Yoga Room Class - March 23rd, 2021

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in the first three meetings i have been
discussing offering to you
ah the in some sense a way to look at what we have been calling for many years zazen
come through the through the teachings of the lotus sutra
to suggest to you all
that on
zazen is
what a load of search your calls
only a buddha
together with buddha
the lotus sutra describes only a buddha together with buddha as the he could say womb
the womb the the matrix
of the
of the reality of all things
so zazen is the understanding of the reality of all things and this teaching only a buddha together with the buddha i feel helps us understand
the multi dimensional
aspect the multi dimensional nature of this simple word zazen the dimensional
nature of so-called zen meditation
and mostly i feel that in the first
three classes i'd been emphasizing the only a buda side of zazen
tonight i'd like to turn to the together with buda side of salesman

the only a buddhist side could be seen as again a solitary buddha
as a subjective experience
a subject
and then there's another subject
and the relationship between the two subjects is inter subject
so within the subject to of meditation we you've call that intra subjective as an intramural intramural within the subjective type of meditation and i think many people that's what they think meditation is
as as subjective experience and i would say that's part of it part of the buddhist meditation is subjective but another part is interrupt a intersubjective so buddhist meditation is the meditation
of all subjects
and it's not just all the subjects but it's the relationship between all the subjects the active ongoing interrelationship the the act is ongoing
authentic conversation between subjects
so part of the real buddha is only a buddha and another part
a buddha is together with buddha
the all the subjects all of the only buddha's all the solitary buddha's who are doing
personal subjective study body based
study of their subjects
the relationship between them is i'm suggesting the real buddha
but for this conversation to be
each subject has a job to do a being the subject
and so on
yeah so
the prayer that i've been saying over and over his i pray that each of you and all of us receive
silence and stillness
in receiving silence and stillness and remembering silence and stillness we settled into being a subject
finally settling completely into the subject being the subject
sterile the self onto the self
there are up there are many many other instructions for helping the self
settle on the self
for example
he many of you've heard of instructions about how to take care of your breath hard to take care of your breathing
how to be mindful of your reason and your posture
these practices to offer the opportunity
of being only who you are at that moment and giving up
any kind of distraction or rather by being very aware of the distraction and letting it be settled into
only a buddha
another instruction is let go of thinking
not push it away not deny it just let it go
be with it completely and in being a wizard completely and compassionately is released and in that way of being with our thinking we'd become only a buddha
we need to do this in order to have our face
before we settled into our face we don't really realize our face
but once we completely
use everything that's happening as an opportunity to be still to let ourselves be still and silent with our face now we have a face and this face can be given to other faces
in this giving up the face to other faces and other faces giving themselves to us this is face to face transmission
which is another word for zazen which is another word for
only a buddha face together with a buddha face
so this is like a personal practice personal only a buddha practice
and as part of the meditation practice
now and also we have these body sought the practices of for example the first five para meters of the six para muitos
ethical discipline
patience diligence and uzi awesome and concentration
by doing his practice who are face becomes concentrated on our face
buddha becomes only buddha
now we're ready to move on to social meditation
inter personal meditation so again the practice of the buddhist meditation is personal and interpersonal it's individual and it's social so nine moving on to consider the social meditate
ocean side of
a buddhist meditation which is together with buddha you buddha together with me buddha
this is social meditation and again any people don't think of social interaction as meditation
they think of meditation as individual interest psychic i bring up it his personal interest psychic dimension but it's also social interpersonal institute together
and we must do both parts thoroughly
in order to realized the true nature of all things
and again when we start to contemplate other subjects
when we a subject
turn our subjectivity towards other subjects
in order for that
contemplation and that meeting to be complete
we have various practices to suggest to help us
be really intersubjective be really social are socially meditating or meditating socially
so meditating personally and meditating socially and again the six perfections of the bodhisattva are ways to relate to other subjects in such a way as to realize the conversation between only a buddha
and only a buddha together with buddha
so to have conversations between this subject and that subject be between my subject and other subjects i need to practice generosity
in order to have
the real buddha living
in order to have the full understanding of the nature of the reality of all things i need to be
thoroughly devoted to ethical discipline in relationship to other subjects
in order to have this comp this inter subjective conversation of this subject and other subjects i need to practice patience
in order to have
real genuine conversation between this subject and other subjects i need to be diligent and enthusiastic
i need to be full of enthusiasm enthusiasm etymologically means full of god
i need to be full of joy at the prospect of this conversation
with other subjects
and then i need to be collected undistracted an open and flexible in my conversation which is the fifth perfection and of concentration
this kind of conversation than naturally gives rise to the six perfection which is perfect wisdom
prajna parramatta meta but perfect wisdom is
this intersubjective
conversation wisdom is a conversation
it's not something i have by myself or you have by yourself it's our conversation when our conversation becomes fully in live and fully
interpenetrating and mutually inclusive of the other and the set off
these these five practices make possible realizing the sit next perfect wisdom which is the mature genuine
wisdom which is the mature january one
only about it together with buddha
and then for other practices which are
yeah for other practices which are also social practices
i called back there one name of them is the bodhisattva vows for methods of guides
but also can be called the bodhisattvas for methods of being guided it's the for methods of guiding other subjects and it's the for methods of letting other subjects guide me
in whole hearted conversation the my interloper future is guiding me to the whole heartedness of the exchange
i can't do the whole hearted conversation by myself
so there's four methods for
how to ah guide the conversation to its fulfillment
another way to translate this word guide is to embrace and sustain
which relates to the third of the three pure bodhisattva precepts
the third of the three per pure bodhisattva precepts his embrace of sustain all beings
so these for are for methods for embracing and sustaining all beings but also
that word embracing sustain can can be active or passive
so again these are for methods for embracing
and sustaining
other beings in conversation but as other also for matches for other beings to embrace and sustain you or me
and what are the for methods well they start out very similar to the six perfections
the first method for embracing others in conversation
and having others embrace me and conversation the first practice is giving generosity
the second practice is
kind speech
but actually this i am not sure how it is in sanskrit i remember exactly but it it actually these these for the the first six and the disease for all are in indian sanskrit and x mahayana tax
what is a kind speech is in sanskrit but the chinese character that she doesn't just mean kind it means loving
and than the third one is beneficial action
and the fourth wall on which way is a tough one and really is the
crammed bella crim of these for the fourth one is identity action
action which is the same action as all beings

or another kind of the loss of this is in the same boat practice practice of being in the same boat with others

so briefly just to get things started on these for methods where they are the for social meditations for those who wish to practice what all buddhist practice which is all buddhist practice
only a buddha together with buddha's this is what they practice this is what they realize this is what they transmit
and the social side they practice generosity so i'm when we practice generosity
towards others
we give them gifts
for example we give them ourselves
we give them our body and mind we offer it to them they may not do anything with it but we give it to them
so the bodhisattva every moment gives her body's to gives her body to others she may not say so but she feels so here i'm here
i'm a gift to you
and in that practice of giving myself to others as again i'd get deeper into their practice i discover that they're giving themselves to me
so this practice of giving this intersubjective practice of giving
is one where i realize not just i want to give and i'm trying to give but i discover that others are giving themselves to me whether they want to or not they do if they think they don't want to give themselves that's what they give me they give me a
person who thinks she does not want to give herself to me and i find that i might find that quite attractive somebody not giving themselves to me as their gift i give you somebody who does not want to give herself i give you somebody who does not want to give himself
giving this mutual giving it's the reality of all things this social practice a buddhist together with buddha's that is reality that's where that's where we realize reality and that is what we're doing we are giving ourselves to each other
all day long
we cannot stop that we cannot prevent it we are actually in a process of intense thoroughgoing
unceasing mutual generosity
and if we don't realize it the way to realize it is to start practicing generosity in some way or other
and as you get into practicing generosity towards others you will discover that they're practicing generosity towards you have somebody might say well i'd rather start with jump other people being generous with me okay fine
the more you realize that people are giving you gifts the closer you are to realizing you're giving them a gift
for example a student the more the student realizes the teachers giving her gifts the clutch issue is to realizing that she's giving the teacher gift teachers want students to give them some else to the teacher so the teacher can get
them teachings when you receive a teaching you're giving a book you're giving our buddha a teacher a bot is excellent for a life without you to give to they have no life
so if you don't think your want to give to the teacher well and you you only want to teach you to give you find and the more you get into the teacher given to you the closer you are to waking up or all the all along i've been given to the teacher i've been giving myself here for the teacher to
give teachings to i'm such a generous student
ah what comes to my mind as many years ago him like
about forty years ago maybe or maybe thirty seven or supply gap between between about thirty five forty years ago a woman i was at san francisco general
and she had come to america from i think singapore i'm not sure but i think she came from singapore she was an ethnic chinese and she met ah a buddhist teacher a chinese buddhist teacher who was visiting who a singapore and met her
and this teacher lived in california and she asked if she could become ordained as a nun and he said okay
and so she came to america to become er den is a monk with this chinese buddhist monk
get the picture
that clear
but in the process of leaving the singapore or maybe a singapore it's an independent state is it surrounded buyers right near malaysia
so coming from that part of the world southeast asia in the process of coming here she discovered that she had cancer
so she came to america but then it pretty much right away she went into the hospital to get cancer treatment
she still wanted to be a nun but the chinese buddhist or abbott would not or diner in which in her cancerous condition

and so she went into hospice at san francisco general they started they had a hospice there
and ah one of the people who worked in the hospice was a member of san francisco zen center
and she invited me to go visit this this woman from this woman from southeast asia of chinese
ethnicity and i went to visit her and she was very nice person and she told me she or her situation
i don't know if i said right away
but either i said it right away or maybe i went back to zen center and nice and i told people as zen center about this very sincere woman who came to america to get ordained as a buddhist nun but she couldn't and now she was suffering in hospice at sam
francis crick general and i asked the san francisco zen center people what do you think of inviting her to come here
and be in hospice at zen center
and people who the people supported the idea so i went back and i said would you like to come to zen center
ha to to live now for harvard much longer you live and she said yes
so he moved into zen center
and yeah
end up
and she was sick and she was in a wheelchair and am
one time she was in the dining-room having a meal
and my wife said to me
she's letting on everybody love her
the sick woman gave herself to the saga so the soda saga could feel this this love for her this appreciation of her
she wasn't there doubting to get all that love but she gave herself so we could give her at law
i just came to my mind we are giving ourselves others so that they can love us
is it then
we should start practicing generosity and we will realize it and they're doing the same with us that's the for social practice of the for
so consider the possibility that
in every conversation you try to remember that your presence in the conversation whether you're talking or not
with you're speaking or being silent with the other person or listening to them you're you're giving a gift you're giving a gift of your words you're giving a gift of your silence you're giving a gift of you're listening consider that possibility
i suggest
the dust social practice of giving with others in conversation
is part of realizing a true a conversation
it's part of realizing
the true nature of all things not being generous act as is great of course is wonderful and not only is a wonderful but it is promoting the understanding of reality
again it's a good thing i say it's a wonderful thing
it's a joyful thing to practice generosity but it's not just wonderful is also the way of understanding reality
and becoming a buddha
that's the first
the for social practices or bodhisattvas the first for methods of embracing and sustaining other beings
i'm feeling like maybe i don't have time for the other three but many just quickly mentioned them and then go into more detail in the future that the second one is kind speech for loving speech and the ancestor dog and says this is to talk to people as you would talk to
a baby
which again you can say why can't talk to everybody like a doctor a baby they'll punch me in the face last we heard you will but kind of talked to them like you're talking to a baby like you think they're really sweet and and precious and
and you you cherish them and like
good morning good morning lisa
good morning gale
good morning jeff
hell no madeline

the next practice is beneficial action which again means you're insult your in the conversation your way
you're in the conversation with other being such the practice of to social practice of conversing with
buddha to buddha and
try to try to meditate on
offering benefit to and for the conversation
and then moving to the it just because i i wanna open up for conversation
the for worth his identity he action
which means to learn
that your practice is others other people's practice and their practices your practice that we are in the same boat
and try that on as a thought experiment and these days in this in these very difficult times were in a lot of people just
i would be really challenged to
oh put up to being in the same boat with some people

a lot of people would be challenged to really like let be in the same boat with everybody
not did you like them not that there
you know they may even they may even say that they're not a good person
they may say you know i'm really evil and i'm i'm a bad whatever whoever they are this fourth practice is the fourth of the bodhisattva social practices is
the meditate on everybody being in the same boat
with you and you being in the same boat with them
let's and that's what i you know i imagine that we may have lot difficulty discussing that fourth practice
and so rabid xinhai open up the conversation okay
for your
your responses your your gifts please please give me your gifts please give this assemble your gifts

no mana yes

i don't even know how
but listening to you
my heart is so deeply touched
and there's nothing that i can say that i've heard that that was the reason but somehow you did it
and yeah

and when we were meditating something very funny happened
i heard my stomach making noises
then and then i thought this yours
then i couldn't distinguish is it me or you so when the sounds is coming from i couldn't tell so that was
that the conversation was happening here and winner

and my heart is switching to give you as if your student
because of all the years that you will have in sharing with us your height and that beautiful heart
i received and i appreciate
and i've been sharing my stomach with your to a purchase your did
tonight you share your stomach with me
thank you for the gift thank you
you're welcome

ran again
well i have to say rob that
you have this key chain
giving generosity help me understand something that i've been puzzled about ah and i have to confess that ah i haven't been genres i'm in my family we've been doing so meetings
it's for are different birthdays and
may i say something sure when you told me that you haven't been generous
that was the gift
but i learned from you know please continue
in my family we've been doing zoom meetings for birthdays and i set up the zoom so it came time for mine and am
we were having difficulty coming to an agreement on the date and it just totally irritated me because people kept wanting to change it and finally i just said let's just forget this one can i felt sort of self righteous about it and we didn't do it for my birthday and
i thought in a way well i'm being so for us but no like in a way i would i was really been selfish and i wasn't as you put it in i wrote it down ah we are giving ourselves to others so they can love us and i didn't
oh i know we have been thinking about them you gave a you gave the person that you were to them you did
if you gave a person who
what what will you do use a selfish
you can give people you can give people a selfish person
so if if i'm selfish i can still give myself of you know i don't have much to give my fact what i have to give us a selfish guy and pedestrian i had to give you to debt here here's my selfish person who and i don't want to have a birthday party because you people are so irritating and that's what i have to give to you and you can really sincerely
be that person that's like only a buddha
i'm a selfish person and i remember silence and stillness
so then i'm just a selfish person but i also now give that person so now i'm only a buddha together with boom
i know a in part of me wishes i have something better to give them the selfish person i am but in fact that's what i have to give is this kind of below average are some quality person but that's what i have to give to you dear family and here i am and i don't want to talk to you anymore but that's a gift
and i and i really feel joyful to give you that gift and now that i've given it to you are you know
i guess i was a birthday party
we had it after all and instead of an insult i gave you the gift of me not wanting the party i gave you the gift of me being irritated and you all gave me the gift of being my precious wonderful family receiving my gift of self
richness thank you so much and you can really mean that
that's a reality
yeah you're welcome thank you for the gift

like give you my below average gift or you gotta blow average went great of happy
it's not that i'm judging by ron i thought years was really above average and i was zero
a i'm coming in with a different order of gift you have a different gift know you have your unique gift yeah
so my unique get is to ah
for the millionth time i rode dominant six per meatus i'm getting quite familiar with them and then it's like okay now others this new list of for and my first thing is why buddhism just tap what
the too many different
i wish it were simpler i wish there could be just gimme one less than i worked my life on it but now have to try to forget with these for and how they fit with the other six so the i did we i did give you just one i gave you one at the beginning the class is called zen meditation as one
it's all a chip and then i'm unpacking at a little bit for you but really i gave you just one thing which is
in an ini impacted only a buddha together with buddha so the lotus sutra only gives you one thing all gives you as the lotus you know is the true dharma that's it but then it unfolds it
and and and it says now your job is to no matter what you're given work with that including all this complexity
and including that you wish it with simple that's part of it and that's a gift you telling me you wished it was simple that's a gift to me
gegen einen i'm telling you you know that's that's the only give me that gif you can you give me all these other gifts
you do you give me all these gifts but doesn't and and giving basically another you could save giving the whole thing too
what a keep
ah i keep thinking for you it seems like now this is the whole thing you know this is the whole thing and they keep
well that's true that's that's also that's like same practice
we're all doing the same practice and has all these different names like tracy and green and jeff
but it's a same practice the thing is we need to and we need to learn that it we're always talking about the practice were doing together and the way we learn it is by giving all these different names and seeing if we can not be fooled by them
and it's hard because some of the names really are tricky and they think well that's something different while know it's it's the same practice that person is not practicing like me yes the look more deeply
okay i will
be with everything you just said and and i have a a comment a number two i asked before him when you say are need it said speak to them like a baby can i assume we mean with the tenderness and love you feel to a baby rather than that limited intelligence
is that a baby my might as well
it's not so much at the
yeah we don't say why sweetheart because the baby's not smart we say because we feel that way but we don't tell the baby this is you know the theory of economics where we don't we don't talk to babies like that is true but if we do say here's a theory of economics and we should say it like
i have this precious gift to give you darling it's a theory of economics you've had that feeling like you're like you get your giving this person is living being
who you think is really sweet and you won't wanna give them something you wanna be gentle and tender with them
and it might be a really complex intellectual thing for and you wouldn't give up to a baby
yeah you you wouldn't talk to maybe like that but the the top one tenderness in the tone of voice
would be just you don't you really appreciate you don't wanna hurt this thing and you just really think it's the greatest thing he oversaw and and you just you just feel that way and so you talked to him that way and you probably won't say a certain things to them but you might
it's possible but the this is the feeling so it's a feeling practice it is it was speaking which is your feeling how you're speaking and you're you're you're taking into account or your refacing
you know how you're talking to the other person and whether the way you're talking
kind and loving we currently hear that if i could just ask a number three when i read beneficial action or when you said at my wrote beneficial action what came to mind was
isn't it that we can't ever know what's beneficial
well that's part of beneficial action is is that you're trying to be beneficial even though you're not completely sure what it is
but you heard what these for and now you're a number three so here we go one two three eminent try to offer something beneficial to this conversation
i wanted with his practice but i don't really understand what it is you that but i still want to do it
and i'll also if i think if i thought i knew everything about what beneficial action is
maybe that would not be beneficial maybe that would close some
information because it isn't just beneficial for me it's beneficial for you to them i want so you have some say in it so i might try to do something beneficial
but if i'm fixed or knowing that that wife is beneficial than that would leave no room for you to say you know i have a question about what you just said or what you just offered
i'm not so sure that that was beneficial
and if i have a fixed idea of what it is and i might not be able to listen to your feedback which doesn't seem beneficial to me
so are being open to have the intention have the intention and then being open
yeah that's right had the intention and and part of beneficial action is to be open
so you can also get it to make things simple you could in place of beneficial action you can just put all six power meters of permalink guys are all part of it and they include the being generous means you're open
you know you give something but you don't relate mean you're not relish your which gave because it depends on how the person receives it
so yeah so openness is part of generosity it's part of be talking to babies and is part of beneficial action
you're welcome thank you for your gift

hello hello hello
barber joan
first i want to thank you for the gift of conversation both they give this conversation right now and in the teaching but also to let you know that i've been thinking all week about coming in tonight and
asking you about conversation so you sort of preempted my question about what conversation it's and taught us about it to thank you for hearing my conversation on
so there are two pieces that i had questions about in the for methods and questions that i can formulate one is when you said the generals via a i
have some i don't know take issue is the right word but i have some concern about the a the description of i give my body and you give your body and i think that that concern is coming up particularly right now in this
era of danger for people's bodies and am and so i guess i wonder in the concept of general on city how boundaries player role
well you just gave me a gift barbara jones did you did you feel like you're giving me a gift
i i'm glad that you feel it as a gift so yes why you were talking i was wondering why i was wondering she's talking to me now i wonder if she's aware that she's given me a gift i was wondering that why you were talking
you didn't you didn't look like you're giving me a gift
should i try again read i haven't begun can and to make ready you ready i have a gift for you read i have a question about exactly that our our city yeah right now like teaching about whether i'm wondering i'm wondering if boundaries
could be part of the generosity yeah right
and the answer is yes
people say set boundaries
and i've been trying to say i've been making cakes for years give boundaries give them it is very important to give boundaries for people to know what your boundaries or if you tell me your boundaries that's a gift to me shows me how to because to you
i can be right up to that place if you don't get me boundaries
we do a bond we see you should give them to me
and also when i say we are giving our bodies to other people but the body you can give can be a boundary body you can say one two three this is my boundary that's a you know
one two three i want you to not get any closer to me that can be a gift could answer me in brine say why would also be a rhyme when to the with the kaga to me yes it
so young giving
you heard the story about my grandchildren rights putting their hands in my mouth
so i gave them a boundary so they could be close to me
i joyfully told them to wash their hands i gave that them so they can be the jews intimate thing with me i wasn't i wasn't setting a boundary i was showing them away that we could be close together without me feeling really bad about their dirty hands in my mouth so
you can give a martial arts body just somebody you said i'm here and and i'm well trained and no matter what you do i can work with you and but i'm not going to mr let you hurt anybody include in me or anybody else i'm just here i'm going to give
you boundaries all over the place and it's gonna be a really fun thing to do together you're not gonna get hurt because i'm well trained at boundary giving
and i'd be happy to give you boundaries which onyx three that feels like can get thank you and you gave the gift to bring that out thank you and i have one more piece of a question i know you have been elaborated on number for identity action but the
question that came up for me around it and i would like to offer this question to you is
how does identity action relate to empathy
ah i think once you're in the boat together empathy is very useful
but you could you can you can feel your and in the same boat with people prior to being empathic
so these people i don't know you know
when or what example to use but you may not be worried that women are gonna take over the world you may not be afraid of that
and it may be hard for you to be have to be empathic with men who are afraid of that
oh you don't you don't get it you know what's the problem of women you know having equal rights and well
if you could see in the minds of some men they think if women have equal rights pretty soon they're going to have all the rights and men are gonna be like totally obsolete
they're afraid of that
a lot of owner
they they're they're they're they're afraid they're gonna have no power if women have equal power
and you may have trouble being empathic with them you don't get it but your but still when you get in the same boat with them used you'll start trying you gradually you'll start to understand how they could feel that way but it may take a long time but the point is if you're not the same boat you may think one or two
i just understand why they feel that way concerned that they're not going to do with me but if you're in the same boat we're going to have to we're gonna have to understand each other
but we're not gonna jump in a boat with everybody and immediately understand their perspective about why white people are afraid that white people are going to be eliminated
and so on
you will but but if we're in the same boat we're gonna have to work it out together
with these people who really have such different views from us and such different fears
we don't get it yet it's great if we do but we don't yet so let's get in the boat
and start working on it and also getting the both more like passion yeah okay i'm gonna get i'm and of get the ball with people because i care about them even though i don't understand them and then old in the empathy will help us go deeper
thank you you're welcome and some people have empathy but they still don't want to get into boat with people that know why they feel that with then i don't know i don't want to get the boat with you
thank you barbara zoo joan like you and will welcome
oh christian
see you could see you
ha i didn't expect to be next to here i am now i am i have an offering and am it came to mind when you were talking about ah talking to people as though you were taught to a baby and
the backstory is during that especially during the pandemic am i have had you know it's really been interesting am
spending a lot more time with my family and definitely more attention than usual because we're together all the time
and i've had some really interesting conversations though with an especially with my husband's about how i talked to him and am
one day we were having a conversation he said i wish you would talk to me the way he talked to charlie who is my daughter accused of my little sweet dog that and it really
i will never forget that and i i hear myself i can charlie now and my voice is so soft and alec i completely transform when i see him and i wanna know how he's doing and i'm so sweet and it really it was just such a gray get it was a great gifts to me too
as yeah yeah
and it's really great so how are you hobby
i've tried it out a few times and it works great he doesn't mind that i sound like that i go
he thinks anyone your of law
like you can't you can't be too loving you know you can't be too gushy
may maybe is possible but still if it is and they give you the gift of sing
exactly exactly so that was that get an iced one other short offering witches i'm i've been seeing with am only a buddha together with the buddha and and something came to me which i thought i would share which is am
the breath so breathing to me housing a remember together with the buddha because it's somebody else this is actually somebody else is talking about this to the breadth the eric the atmosphere is not us it's coming into us were
sharing it and and then it's leaving it's not it kind of burst the bubble on the i miss isolated person all on my own i'm not your breathing all day long there is that exchange i thought that was really helpful so i thought i would share that and as you as you take care of your breath
oath and are mindful of your breath you become only a buddha
and then be as you become only a buddha you realize oh
does to get there all the other buddha's to they're doing the same thing
yeah yeahs them about that is my offering thank you fear or

hello green iran
well a lot of a things that you are discussing with barbara john where for resonating for me on
i i'm struggling with a specific situation where at work someone like raise their voice at me and they're really mean and
i am having a challenge figuring out how to respond to the situation and i'm
i had to kind of thoughts about at one was i feel like
as a person who has a past of
oh van a feeling
disempowered or that i received a lot of cruelty on i feel like it's really hard for me to just respond in a sane manner like i feel like i have all this ground to regain her or something
so i'm struggling with like thinking about it in a clear way and i'm i'm also like have been reflecting on trying to remember your words about
an well i don't want to say what your words or but how i remember some of the stories i've heard you say about am
not being pushed around by praise and blame yes was gonna say
that when you've you said it
it's hard for you
deal with certain situations
yes so right there is an opportunity to start the practice of generosity
of being generous to yourself
of letting yourself be this person who's having trouble for example being seen
you know i'm having trouble being sane right now
but but i can practice generosity towards the this woman who's having trouble being seen
you can practice genuine generosity towards yourself when you're having trouble
being seen
you can write their forget about the other person who you're having trouble being seen with be staying with yourself by being generous with yourself
and i offer also something i thought was really helpful which is seeing sanity not as the opposite of crazy
but as having the resources to not humiliate others
or yourself
so we're told us is difficult to you're having
of being saying like for example
the same like being generous with somebody who's talking to you in a cruel way
the same thing would be to be generous with that person and to treat them in a way that doesn't humiliate them
do you could humiliate someone who's talking to you in a rude way
that we wouldn't be sanity
i wouldn't be crazy either just be it would just be humiliating
and it's hard to it's hard to treat somebody let off in a sane way when they're being cruel to you but you can be kind to yourself read them
well actually this has been progressing and i was trying to will have been trying to practice this that you read this over time and the development as that instead of being totally shut down by
i that person i like met them and the moment and kind of gave it back to them what they were giving me which did feel really good because i felt like i was standing up for myself and i wasn't like silencing myself i was kind of like this isn't right so i kinda felt good that i like met it but at the
same time i still have this very uncomfortable dynamic well again try to bring into it you say stand up for yourself that's but you can make standing up for yourself a gift
to you and to him or her it's a gift for you to be yourself the main thing you have to give to people is yourself so it is a gift to stand up to the situation to stand up for yourself as yourself is a gift
and you it still might be kind of my ferocious because you feel like the ferocity meeting ferocity
but the thing is it it is not cruel
it is offered as a gift
it's not meant to hurt it's meant to stand up for yourself that's a good thing to do you should stand up for yourself that's all that's being only a buddha
that's you honoring you that's a gift
and that's not a cruelty to other people
however if you lose sight of the gift quality then you can slip into that me being me as is is done one or what
to strike back rather than to meet this aggressiveness with energy that's a gift
you almost got there because you did want to stand up for yourself that is good yeah you should do that and being generous does stand up for you
because it means you are letting yourself be the person who's got something to say like you know
ah i want you to speak to me more respectfully
and that i'm given that to you as a gift
and i want you to speak to me respectfully i really do and i request that you do and you can do that with lots of energy and can carry yourself when you do it
and that's the and but it's hard
it's but again be kind to yourself was having a hard time being that same
and if you don't if you're not then you practice another kind of kindness which is
that wasn't very kind the will way i give their feedback i stood up for myself but i also on the side tried to hurt him
that part i'm sorry about but not sorry about standing up for myself i'm happy about that
i also got into like some ill will which your world is an ill will does not stand up for you
giving boundaries does though
that's part of your responsibility to be only a buddha to be a solitary buddha we need you to do that

had filled out i feel little bit bad about coming so late rev because it's i'm gonna be such a drag but i'm i've been reading this thank you for that gift
i've been reading a bill mckibben so falter and i think it's twenty eighteen but it's very current in it it actually reads like dystopian fiction and what's depressing about it is it's so real and so scientific and arm
and so my take on it nice i believe bill mckibben take is that
you know we're gonna have to do some things they feel
almost an unnatural well no jet that feel genuine really unnatural to am
you know make our best
you are most appropriate response to
nature reich's nature is you know reality is i think you'd agree is given reality reality is all reality is giving all of reality doll of reality
and giving rise to reality right and were part of that but we're kind of a unique part of reality called human nature and so now we the this business as usual is seems like it's going to have to alter
significantly and or in ways that feel unnatural if if they aren't in fact unnatural and so i guess my kind of the the am my thought is is that
we sort of need to accept things like a risks of rising sea level two
as a gift
and writ you know in scenery and actually actualities of or you know drought flood as yes
because they're part of this nature that we've been ignoring for in are basically since we began the human enterprise but now it's actually no longer ignore a bill so we but we are part of this reality that we've been ignoring and ah
and now we need to accept this this gift
i agree
and i think except seeing this crisis as a gift will help us make the appropriate response for the welfare of all beings
and we have practices to deal with this crisis
yeah i mean have it seems like like we're going to have to like alter light
like i mean like the catholic church should see my you know my humble opinion is going to have to have to alter lake fundamental dog matter the own papal encyclicals and that's just the start
seems highly likely that that many nasser i did see that j you know a tiny step i saw that term
the city of evanston illinois is starting to make reparation to the injustice i've done to people who are seeking housing in that town
who were not allowed to get houses because of racist housing posit policies and they're starting to make reparations to those families that suffered because of that it's a tiny step but
i'm up for it and in if i lived if if they want to do it in marine county i would support it
and to whole new idea but i'm ready for it i wanna be ready for it
thank you

hi rob
nice to see it again
now i've been waiting last week i've been waiting wherever we came looking forward to this meeting last week i just couldn't stay awake
that fully half offering
so i'm looking forward to listening to them
the recording
but am i just wanted to share that i really jumps into the cocaine on the lotus sutra live set a ferocious never made i really don't even understand and just obsessed with doing it
you think i spend a room with stay mom and test copy and i i get sensitive ridiculous pleasure out of it
join the
so i'm almost among four hundred something
and as i'm doing it
i'm discovering how much of a practice it is
in being intimate with the movements of the mind ended body and emotions like towards grasping the text and the reject or rejecting that constant
and it's almost like learning to be airborne not touching the ground here that that not touching your landing pad their it's really about just not hanging onto these words i think because you know the stories are so incredible family
it had to be believed them and had to disbelieve them a fake
i have no grounds to retake them and i have no you know it's hard to accept the neither it just like
so it's a fascinating exercise just to be rewarded what i'm reading and not
you know it is where transformative because of it because the the the habit of wanting to engage with that text and latch onto it is what is canal tie it's getting tired and it starts dropping away
yeah so it's kinda nice and i was also thinking about the benefits that's another one you know all the promises to and i think that the wonderful voice bodhisattva another that the about the
have a look at this far and then
and the promises
and that was like reading it and i was observing how oh yeah i want that than they
this grasping for the and recognizing that this is yet another one that sieve
observing all these movements of the eager made one of the found himself and some people instead of grasping they they're they're rejecting redacting yeah there's been this ridiculous that's impossible he had ended up or i want that yeah you've
a duty course i've wanted since i already knew
so that's the samadi not grasping these promises or are rejecting them as ridiculous right yeah especially the little have in the text and don't get into rejecting it are grasping at yeah at the challenge and that's the beauty because his i noticed
like we were in this process of buying in a deciding to buy this expensive housing
and a lot of ambiguity and it was pretty stressful and i am is nudity ambiguity
exactly and then just copy know lotus nature will help you tolerate the ambiguity exactly like i just in the spare moment i would just sit down and write and i found it it's amazing how it really brings one to that place of none
not to lend and on anything solid
so edgy relations it's wonderful we didn't really is wonderful so is there anything else i wanted to oh yeah and the language
i noticed that there's so much so many words that avoid like i was so turned off by in the bible reading the bible you know the devil's the sin and i mean there's so many very christian words with we know as christian some kennel
looking forward to a huge jewish is that right the jews are also in the bible right yes yes so is judeo christian words right
and there again hard you not grasp those words or reject them guests the samadhi
yeah and it's also make what i say it is they go humility because it's like recognizing them i just don't know
two so it's so nice you just become an idiot a fool a happy for
i swear i don't have to know anything roger illusions
yeah thank you

well we've reached the bewitching our
may the marriage of our meeting extend to every being and place and may we together with all beings realize buddha's way
beings are numberless i vow to save them
afflictions are inexhaustible i've ah to cut through
dharma gates are boundless i bow to enter them
bhutto ways unsurpassable i vow to become out
good night everybody
neither as lacking job
right that tonight