hey
i think most mostly ah seen this in this series
ah on studying compassion and practicing
and also trying to on scientifically study or research this great mind of compassion and study and research the ocean of suffering
i would seem mostly
what have been talking about
ah is baby what might be called kind of a developing emotions and feelings
and commitments
kind of emotional work
and actually
as eartha and satellite satellite it in a talk to the know abode sanga i started to open up to study more
in particular ah i started to open up studying the field
of cosmic consciousness
and the suffering and afflictions in that field
the study the patterns the overall patterns of the field of karma consciousness the field of friction else is a study the individual afflictions and the smaller patterns within the larger pattern of afflictions
so again ah
i've been sort of
describing a process of 'em

process starting with developing impartiality
or equanimity
and then with this and that work is is somewhat a combination of being aware of emotions and
cognitively be studying them in such a way as to not hate
the martians or be attached to them so this is a again are starting with it starts with a kind of
somewhat intellectual work in order to develop
impartiality and equanimity
and then proceeds to developing ah
a deep
and gentle appreciation
a feeling of fondness
and appreciation for beings
and
starting with
on
oneself then to a friend and mentor enemies
to develop a deep cherishing and fondness for all beings and then going on to practicing loving kindness toward self friends and enemies
and then go on to practicing compassion
and based on that compassion
arises
the mind of awakening and based on the mind of awakening he aspiration
to attain awakening
we come to discover buddha hide
and in a conversation last week with a karen yuki
she know
i came up but we started to talk about another presentation of practice which starts with loving kindness goes on to compassion and then goes to appreciating
the the wonderful things the virtues of other beings and then from there move on to realize equanimity
bought those ways can be practiced of course but as kind of interesting to me that they're kind of the reverse of each other
in one case
you you find a way to feel some loving kindness for somebody and then you expand it to everybody
and then you go on to practice compassion for everybody
and then you
start to see the merits of beings and ha beings are some bags and then all beings and then you have equanimity and this path leads to personal liberation
the conclusion of that path his personal liberation
loving kindness compassion
preceded the marriage of others and equanimity toward one's own experience and all beings personal liberation the other one puts more emphasis on compassion and buddhahood
it starts with equanimity
and then moves on to appreciating others and loving kindness and compassion and the aspiration to realize buddhahood in order to be a best service to all beings in order to be
hot tamale able to liberate all beings and help them realize buddhahood
so yeah i just i hadn't seen that before that those two practices were kind of have the same elements to some extent
but are reversed and enough the early a presentation it concludes in personal liberation
in the later version it concludes in buddha

so
let's just let's just say that we we have been working in and we continue to work to create a context
of compassion
a room of compassion
a room of compassion
by these meditations we have discussed which i'm happy to continue discuss but i like to move on from there and start with the idea that we have successfully arrived
in the room of great compassion the wonderful room of compassion for all beings and now we can study
all beings and we can more deeply study the nature of all things
and discover
the true nature of all things and thereby discover buddha earth
and that example used on saturday was basically
of studying
our consciousness and boat again by consciousness i me i used the term synonymously with carmack consciousness
we have other forms of awareness we living beings we humans
but i don't call them consciousness so for example the other another main or fundamental state of awareness so we have week sometimes called the unconscious
and the archaeologists our consciousness can heard about it and as her teachings about it but our unconscious is not conscious of the unconscious and the unconscious is not conscious of the conscious but it is aware
it isn't awareness of a vast realm of cognitive activity
which it could say works very high winds it doesn't really operator or body but it's intimately works together with our body for us to be able to breathe for are hard to beat for our temperature to be modulated for us to be able to walk and play the piano
and speak english all these marvelous things we can do are orchestrated by the body an unconscious processes we are we're only a tiny bit aware of what goes in to be able to speak english
we can tell we're speaking english but we do not know consciously how to do it
but we but we we learned consciously how to do it and are learning transforms our unconscious so that are unconscious with our body can perform speaking english and playing the piano and so on and running up and downstairs and ballet
a dancing and yoga and kitchen work and et cetera
we also human beings we also have a another mind which is the mind of perfect wisdom we we have that mind however because of our cosmic consciousness we don't realize it
three i'd suggest we have three minds and a body a body which is closely related to her unconscious cons of process which is most of our personal cognitive activity and most of our group activity
then we have individual karma consciousnesses where there's a self and then we have a wisdom consciousness which which until we understand our comic consciousness
and can are liberated from it
we don't we don't realize our wisdom mine which we have all along

so what i'm suggest for start doing now is to study karmic consciousness to study it
by observing it
by experimenting with it by exploring it by asking questions about it
by listening to the questions that appear in it's about itself by listening to an observing the questions in karmic consciousness about karma consciousness and also to observe and listen to the questions about comic consciousness in karmic nervousness about other people's com
my consciousness and listen to other people report to us about their comic consciousness and listen to them as ask about ours
in this way we sit we can start to study
and observe and explore this realm of karmic consciousness which is relatively small compared to
the unconscious processes
in a given moment ah
i've heard that the i just heard this someplace i think and in a given moment there are like eleven million cognitive events in our unconscious and forty in our consciousness
so what's going on in our consciousness is a highly reduced component
and version of our entire cognitive activity
and then in relationship to wisdom our conscious mind is even smaller because wisdom is not just our conscious mind and our unconscious mind it is also the realization of the relationship between them and the relationship between them and all other conscious
mrs
so we had this infinite wisdom
we had this enormous cognitive cotton conscious and we have a quite large but relatively small and in enclosed
i'm kind of mind
and in the conscious mind there is a sense of self
if there's notices and self is not what we ordinarily but i ordinarily god consciousness is probably without a sense of self a cognitive process is what we call uncut what i call unconscious
i do not know if certain animals
have karma consciousness i think they do have i understand and i am
accepting the hypothesis that they do have cognitive activity in relationship to their body and the environment but i'm not sure that all living beings have a consciousness which has a shelf i'm willing to i'm happy to discuss this
and study this and inquire about this and experiment about this and i understand that many other people called cognitive scientists are experimenting to ascertain where we had what how far the crimea self conscious awareness has
extended into the living beings

and i also introduced on saturday that ah the
the definition of of karma
of action in buddhism is related to karmic consciousness so we don't usually use the word karma for what's going on in our unconscious process

we use karma for described it for describing the activities that are occurring through body speech and karma consciousness or better to say in karma consciousness which are expressed in speech and postures
all that is what we call karma and the definition of each karma is the shape the pattern of all the constituents of consciousness in the present moment
and the relationship one of the basic relationships between the enclosure of karmic consciousness and the unconscious is that the unconscious it is the embodiment
the physical and cognitive embodiment of the results are pass moments of karmic consciousness
and
this embodiment of the consequences of past moments of kind of consciousness is the foundation for the arising of our present kind of consciousness so karma consciousness has the consequence of transforming the unconscious and the unconscious supports
the consciousness in which there's another now karma which then again transformed the unconscious
so they're closely related they evolve together but the karma is a current lives in the consciousness
the self consciousness
the egocentric comfort consciousness
and the afflicted consciousness
and i also mentioned saturday i mention again that the sense of self that lives in our comic consciousness the sense of i or me or mine
comes with for afflictions
until the situation is understood that the idea of self that sense of self
that feeling of self that idea of self
it arises with for afflictions which are basically delusions about the self
and they are first of all a self confusion when this hits itself there arises a phenomenon which is confusion about it
next phenomena is self view there arises is phenomena which is the appearance that the self is is viewing what's going on in consciousness
the self is not viewing what's going on but there's an idea that it does and because our ideas and illusion when we believe it is an affliction the next one is self pride which is that the idea
that the self in this consciousness is operating the consciousness
that it owns the things in the consciousness or doesn't own
but most people do not have the idea and consciousness that the things and consciousness on the self
so we have the tendency is a my anger my delusion my pain my fear you don't have a way to say
fears me
angers me or anger self or attachments self
we don't think this that are attachment was the self with her anger on herself that are confusion on self or there are a fierce winds itself and it doesn't
but it would it would be if we say that the cellphones are owns the fear if we set our fear and i own it and i make it is my anger and i did it
him you could equal it's eel it would be equally true and actually equally false to say
the to anger on me the fear owns me the karma owes me
but we don't usually have those those afflictions
but part of the experiment we can do which i'm doing right now is to in the conscious and unconscious in my own consciousness i'm presenting new year new ideas which i don't usually appear which he which we can experiment with
and now with with you while i'm talking you may have been observing your consciousness and looking and noticing that you had some of these afflictions i mentioned and the last affliction is of the for his self of self esteem or self love
even though a lot of people say i am getting sick or myself i hate myself i want to get rid of myself they say that but then if someone has say well here's a new self for you they wouldn't take it
even though they say the hit yourself and i want to get rid of it that they actually do not want to trade it for anybody else self even somebody who seems to have a really nice one
and that's an affliction that were not flexible and willing to trade selves with somebody

it is possible for everybody in this assembly to look to it is possible yeah i can if it is possible that each of our consciousnesses can turn around
i would say you can turn around but our consciousness can be turned around and and look and see these afflictions
the chip that that again macros to the you can see but that there can be a reversal of awareness of looking back and noticing there is a sense of self here
and
and a looking back and observing that there are these for afflictions
and looking back and seeing that as a lot of other ah
another of other elements they're not everything in karnak consciousness is affliction
for example being concentrated is not an affliction having faith is not an affliction
pleasure is not an affliction pain is not an affliction
neutral sensation is not an affliction
greed is an affliction hatred is a conflict collection ignorance is an affliction war
and these little and believing these illusions
in our afflictions and these and these delusions i mentioned is for are naturally believed him
so hum
yeah
so part of part of the study a that part of what encourages the study is for us to learn
how to acknowledge ignorance
to acknowledge that we are ignorant and acknowledged that weird and we have been ignoring things and acknowledge that there are some things it's hard for us to acknowledge
this is part of the observation that leads to discovery scientific discovery which leads to the when we
when we can acknowledge our ignorance
we can relax with our ignorance
if we do not acknowledge our ignorance it's hard for us to relax because partly because if we were to acknowledge we might accidentally acknowledge that we don't know what's going on
we are ignorant that we are ignoring
but acknowledging our ignorance
helps us study better
it helps us relax with this situation of affliction
and to some extent
ah yeah even though i'm talking to you i also want to continue to acknowledge that i do not see everything completely clearly in my consciousness and that helps me explore and experiment with my consciousness and also explore and experiment with
yours and also let you explore you can explore and experiment with my consciousness
and if we admit our ignorance we can be more relaxed with this field of affliction
this field of ignorance of self ignorance of incomplete understanding of the self
complete understanding of self is buddhahood
complete understanding of this field and of affliction
this field of ignorance is buddhahood and an order to study it thoroughly it's good to admit that we are deluded we are ignorant and then we can relax with it and experiment with it and play with it and be creative with it
yeah
so i think if i know if i invite you to
explore experiment and water and observe by you're experimenting or observe and then experiment what your observe much more things will come out in the conversation so i'm ready to open up a teaching shop the study shop
are you
and and opening up to teaching stop shop the study shop
includes opening up for questions about for teaching and admission of ignorance of the teaching or admission admission of
doubts darts also if you have doubts about these teachings when the buddha was about to die the buddha said if you have any doubts about the teaching now's the time to ask
so if you have any doubts about the teaching now as the time to ask
and also tomorrow's and good time to ask her
again
i do have a and and some confusion
when you talk about the self it doesn't sound like a really good thing and i think i have the impression sometimes
that in spiritual practice what we're trying to do is get rid of the self or deconstruct it and i'm wondering if if that's really what we're trying to do or or for really trying to learn how to live with it
i'm a better way
well when you say we have mastered for the buddha's yeah yeah book is ah hard trying to understand the self they have understood the self
and the buddhas are not trying to get rid of delusion
they have a great understanding of delusion
so that's an understanding which i offer which is at buddhas
have gripped are grit greatly understand delusion and they understand
to whatever extent the self is a delusion they understand that
can even to no translation of this ancient tissue would be understanding great understanding of delusion is buddhas
great understanding of the self is buddha
in a consciousness
where there's a self and it's afflicted it is very common i've observed i i've talked to quite a few people
during the last what the during this lifetime and many of them have told me they want to get rid of the sit there self
however the wish to get rid of the self is a sar but god it's am it's an affliction
the wish to get rid of self is an affliction that arises in consciousness in response to affliction
so rather than being compassionate towards our afflictions which we've been working on crew
bring our bring our afflictions into the room of compassion and now start studying studying
observing an experiment rather than trying to get rid of
because the context is compassion not like not eliminate being these beings but in the field of compassion around this consciousness now let's study and one of the things
that your reporting is that an your study you may have noticed that some you you may have ever got the sense that some people are saying you're supposed to get rid of self
now deconstructing not the same as getting rid of
like you know i have some puzzles you know and you deconstruct they come and sometimes they come constructed than you deconstruct them and then try to put him back together again so deconstructing may help may help us understand yourself
but deconstruct he isn't to eliminate so the self like all things the self is a dependent arising
in other words it arises independence on other things in itself
the stealth is other dependent it's not self dependent is it is it arises independence on things other than itself and studying that is deconstructing it and understanding the same with pleasure and pain and fear and pride an arab
science and confusion all these phenomena are dependent core arising deconstructing them leads to understanding them not eliminating them
but still in this world the idea of getting rid of this self
comes up because itself self is surrounded by afflictions
how are you know
we think the afflictions of the bathwater of the of the baby self so if we think with if we think that we throw the baby will get to throw out the bathwater
we gonna get rid of the bathwater non fiction so maybe if i throw the baby on the bathwater go to
but throwing out the baby or the bathwater is just more bathwater is just more affliction
and that also should be dealt with compassionately and then studied so again all these phenomena can continued continue to be compassionate with them to welcome them to be careful of them to be patient with them
and now we're going to start studying now organise use furnace we're going to science these things
so another way i might i might i might say what i just understood used to say is that ah
we were studying it in order to learn how to make friends with it
the for to be you can say study at an order to learn how to make friends with that that's fine but you could also say make friends with them as the way to study it
uh oh
just like give him when the person you know you wanna find out about him the first of all be friends with them how are you today
have you know how you feeling
how are you thinking
but you know he do it in a friendly way so that they had to happy to reveal themselves to you because they feel you their friend
and also that helps them study themselves because they can be friends so is more like being friendly is more the context of our study
the context of our observation is it's a friendly concert it's a friendly ah ah observation and is a friendly experimentation
that takes the stress out of it when you say that yeah hopefully
the and or and if there's stress than we have compassion towards the stress and then be friends with distress
but the study goes deeper when we've sort of settler settled our what it got settler accounts with stress we've observed it we've been kind to it we studied it and maybe to finally we made our peace with it and then
that facilitates our study of other things
but stresses is one of the things one of the afflictions that we practice compassion towards in that way
that we investigate
again people may want to get rid of stress
okay it but have been friendly with it
thank you

i just have a quick question on can can you hear me
striking linda
orlando yeah
ah the critics say more about what self confusion is what you mean by that could could could you wait for your turns out and let me talk to warn i'm sorry i forgot again with the only one that had my hand up know
more as robin your your come up soon soon lender
i'm fine to wait or a great
warren yes hello wrap and q welcome ah it was the
i'll release that you brought a re brought this up from on saturday ah you know notes to hear it again and death
it was a lot that we went through but i wanted to bring up the i this is helpful to me because i i've been working on an experiment like you asked like the last three four weeks then i came from our
a teaching when the buddha taught his son rahul
ah is held up americans said what is as far he said it's for reflections and he said well this is how years should reflect and it's went through these three
times the present before you make an action and then the time of as remaking making the action or thought or speech and then in reflection of the of of what you're dead
and so i've been trying to work with that in a clunky way
a kind of slow ah
when i'm speaking mostly because it's easier like i'm i'm speaking to another person i know what i'm going to say i go through the rubric of you know it's gonna be harmful or helpful and cetera you i'm sure you know wallace
about this teaching
but but my question is when you when you opened up this pattern of the karmic consciousness it made me see how fast this stuff all happens and i'm asking because i see you do it i see your i see like when you're talking and listening and teaching that you're reaching and
then just it's like coming out very quickly but for me it's a very slow and laborious and i i tend to grasp this and all am i doing that and then i'm speaking the person or dealing with a person of the thing and i just wondered if you could like you know speak about how you get that moves
smoothness
how i could practice to get a smoothness like that where i can see what's going on and also interact with the world in front of me but still be be there did you understand my question
you know i might maybe i do spatula
i'll you say yes i do okay so what i hear you do i hear you
letting us know something that has been observed in your consciousness
and you may you may also think that it's something as manifesting to others in your speech and postures
when i hear you saying that you notice in your mind is a slowness
and then he said something else anyway i kind of slowness or clunkiness in the cartridges so in the in your consciousness and you you have your own unique consciousness
you have been it you have been aware and have no and have observed and now you're actually acknowledging some some phenomena called clunkiness
right yeah yeah so you've observed the clunkiness
but their clunkiness is basically it's it's it's an idea in your mind
okay isn't it
well everything i could say everything is but it's young but you could say others five yeah i'm just playing if everything able hands new okay so you got this this idea in their mind cockiness right right that you told us about
and so there's number think so this is called observing
and
an experiment
so he's told me about this is clogging us and then i'm experimenting with this report from you include about clunkiness not experimenting by saying to you pointing out to you that that's an idea
well i say and you responded by saying what
everything is and i didn't say yes but i said if anyway if if everything is than it is to right so then what you're talking to me about as you told me about an idea
so number one is
you didn't really say you had the idea of clunkiness you actually thought there was a clunkiness
yeah not so not so we have this disappearance of a phenomenon called clunkiness but also we're now we're not experimenting by pointing out that that's an idea
no we can experiment further by practicing compassion towards this idea or this appearance of clunkiness
a
i also heard you say i think something like you kind of wanted to smooth smooth things out
the there's also the idea in your mind of having things smoother in there in your consciousness and a kind of attraction to some a more smooth situation
another idea
perfectly good idea and that to we can deal with compassionately it friendly so we can be friendly towards the appearance the appearance of clickiness and we can be compassionate towards the parents of the idea of smoothness and there's one more thing week
can be compassionate towards the wish to smooth out the clunkiness of mixing smoother
that to should be dealt with compassionately
so
i am not trying to get rid of your clunkiness i'm not trying to get rid of your wish to smooth things out i'm not trying to get rid of the smoothness what i'm trying to do is have you practice compassion towards these things you to report it
the okay this now i won't before i go much further just also put another thing into your consciousness which is if you can practice compassion towards the clunkiness you will become free of clunkiness
if you can practice compassion towards the idea of smoothness even before it arrived you can become free of smoothness
okay so and you might call being free of smoothness and clunkiness you might call that freedom and i would say okay fine that's good name for it
so the first thing i'm suggesting you do with this kind is wonderful consciousness which you have moment by moment
is that when you notice this episode this idea of disappearance of clunkiness that you remember the teaching of being compassionate that you invite compassion to come and embrace this clunkiness
and if by any chance the wish for on clunkiness comes same as that
and if you can be compassionate towards clunkiness and wish for freedom from cockiness are getting rid of confidence then you can study the clunkiness and the wish for clinton has to be gone and studying those those two things which just happened to be curry
events in your consciousness those are perfectly good opportunities for buddhist compassion and
for understanding these delusions
there's not really clunkiness anybody's mind but there is ideas of clunkiness in people's minds is no is not clickiness
to be terrier there's just there's just
on examined phenomena which are believed and in by which were hung up on
but all these things if we thoroughly understand them they're not the none of them are clunky or smooth they're all when thoroughly understood buddha
so i'm just giving her little
start on how to study this clunkiness in also and be kind to wishing to get rid of it and not tell you that i'm not telling you to be cruel to the wish to get rid of coggins
the wish to get rid of funkiness is a little bit unkind
okay it's kind of unkind know get outta here clunkiness it's not really friend very friendly is kind of an unfriendly
it's kind of a not a very good friend of funkiness
but you can be friendly to the unfriendliness to clunkiness and friendly in to the clunkiness and the on friendliness and the clunkiness can make friends you can guide them into friendship and freedom
oh thank you for
i'm talking you're gonna try that
i will try it my you you've got to sing to work with it's it's it's a wonder new playground for you
thank you very much
okay i think i middle where june june is june let's on june can emulate slaves linda com
glad she doesn't want to we're interrupting can you hear me i can hear you and i can see you and i can also see michelle the southern person here who
as through these images through these images i can see you over an oakland
careful are you had a question but self i didn't that i also am just feeling so much gratitude thank you thank you for your teaching just now about cockiness thank you for saturday for such clarity
you
and i like is had a very short question and that was when you mention the afflictions the other day and today i i kind of missed what self confusion was i didn't need to go into too much so thank you
you're ready to go into a little bit
okay so we have this teaching which many have you heard about which is that and it's a teaching about karmic consciousness
so all the phenomena that that occur in the karma consciousness or five varieties anything that's going on and karma consciousness is in these five categories
feelings
we sometimes say perceptions or could be conceptions
mental formations or consciousness
there's nothing that whatever you come up with him you tell me about i can put him in these cat the one of his five categories
and the fourth one
the fort mental formations there's many many mental phenomena they go in the fourth one
for example in the fourth one goes fear
hatred
ah confusion
ha attachment faith ah diligence ah
dishonesty
i say fear
fear ah pride
ah
respect self respect ah
a sense of decorum lack of self respect lack of decorum
i'm self respect meaning that you care about what you do whether whether it's you know worthy of you and you care about what other people think about what you're doing and then the other one was you don't care about what you do you have no respect for yourself and you don't care about what other people think of you you're not afraid of that
oh and other various other mental phenomena which or which are about how our mental our cognitive process deal with and then another one that's in the fourth act aggregate fourth category is called to know which is the it's it's a it's a funny
amina which is the overall pattern of the consciousness so in one of the categories of the five categories one of them is the overall pattern of all five
no anything that happens
one could think that they are they are the self or they're not or one could think that the self is not one of these five categories
like the self isn't a feeling it isn't an idea it isn't a perception it isn't any motion it isn't a color it isn't a smell it isn't a taste it isn't a touch and it isn't consciousness is something in addition to these five so
the teaching is is only these five and anything you say that's going on i can put those five
but with there could be this confusion were sick i think the self is something in addition to those
but then if i ask you what do you mean by yourself then you start telling me what you're talking about and is one of these fire
it's a feeling or to color like we some say say it agree like we say that's that's my smell
that's my taste
or yeah
whoa wait a minute
we have the taste but does not damn called my taste
his kinda confusion there are it's my feelings
are those are not done or that's not my feeling on this my idea but we've got the idea where's the self in addition to the idea if you look you find the idea there it is it's if you find the pain there it is you find a pattern which is the karma the moment you find these things
but you can't find yourself
as a some mental formation for one thing right
or could be a or you could say you can find mental formations but there's not the self but we're confused we think it is a self
we think the self as an addition to all these multiple phenomenal opportunities we think the self is on top of it like some have you heard me drop see me draw a picture on the board of a circle
with a little bump on it
and the circle is everything in the universe plus this little bump and that little bump is me we think that the self as in addition to everything
but you know and actually that's a delusion but as is a kind of you can find a confusion it because
if you look it is not an addition to anything there's just everything and the self must be some of that but if as some of that that is not the self it's the things so this is where this is an affliction
however this can be studied and you can realize the self is not anything in addition to phenomena
it's not that it doesn't exist it's just some of these phenomena like the self as an idea or it's a feeling but usually we don't think the self as idea or a feeling but it must be a feeling an idea and awareness and emotion because that's all there is and by spreading you find out
the self is nothing in addition to all or to my on
it's not separate from what's already gone and if it's what's going on it's a funny self
it's not what i used to think to self once so studying this is studying self confusion
studying studying these this relationship between the idea of self and all that's going on
we discovered this confusion and will become free of it
so south confusion is kind of the belief
in a south as as apart from everything
and in a way could you say that it's any given moment at any given moment the south innocent perception or it's a feeling where it's hot it's just a moment in the moment my order some member or a sudden in the moment we do have a sense of me
we all have them but as one of these five it's it's one of these five categories
so it's like of it's like an idea but we don't it doesn't seem like the me is an idea
seems like a something in that it's more like there's me and i have ideas rather than me as an idea or there's me and i have feelings rather than me as a feeling or there's me and i have emotions like just me and hatred
but in a moment where this hatred is to just at that marked just the hatred did not me in addition to it so if the the situation of the self being something in addition to what's going on if you study and you can see it just really is to confuse the confusion to think that it's separate
it's not a dozen self it has said it's not in addition to all that's going on and we confusedly
are we delude italy think it is that's the that's the affliction
of self confusion comes with this sense of self which might be an idea so you got sense of self as an idea and then there's this confusion which sinks with kind of six the self isn't just an idea but but then look around root and lives i can find it is an idea i'm confused now i'm confused rather than all others
confusion when i see when there isn't understanding that all this confusion is starting to be a little less confused
you can bring up so many more questions like where does this confusion around a squared as this joy arise from wedding snap you everything i'm sure it's not well that's the question is or isn't isn't experiment
yeah okay little experiment experiment with that and then and that leads to more questions or whatever or more responses
our questions are part of our experimentation process in karmic consciousness in this field of
of affliction and again
the compassion of friendly experimentation a compassionate friendly close observation leads to border
martin that is buddha when it goes deep one much
much welcome

j g hello rob lowe okay something
i am enjoying your image of the big circle with the little bump
it made me think of the big
circle of everything and my little pompous a pimple
no
i heard you tonight
talk about commitment and i'm relating that back to the mental formations idea or the mental formations aspect of cosmic consciousness but my question arose on saturday and
ah
description of our attachment to
to our sense of self and to
these common patterns and i was struggling with the word and may be just the word a responsibility and taking care of someone or something and how to do that without becoming attack
attached or even as like as a parent for instance exerting some level of control
and i thought you would say to me well
if you had a commitment or took responsibility and
and did that as a gift it would be
free left less of free of attachment but i i can't figure figure that out
the idea of being responsible
and being committed and taking care of something and doing that without attachment or
oh
even if you are the the adults how to do that without some control

did you say how to do without some idea of controller attempt to control what you should know i am i'm mostly a relate to the idea of attack the being attached like it if i feel responsible for my child for instance
i'm i'm not i'm not understanding on how to do that without filling attached to them or because responsibility to me has an aspect of attachment to it i have to anticipate that other person's need
and how to care for them and ah
yeah so i'm i'm trying to figure that out like you use the word commitment tonight which i've put that in a similar and i relate that to responsibility
and i'm struggling in it also relates to me in these formations that you listed like gum
diligent son you know that those trick those qualities or behaviors that
i'm confused about how to separate from being up from attachment
well this is one my record or my primary
meditations his meditation on responsibility
and for me responsibility is a word pretty much equivalent to reality
so responsible we are responsible beings
and because we're responsible beings we have all kinds of responsibilities
but responsibility for me is not a synonym for control
for example
in reality
i am responsible to you
and i am responsible with you
and you are responsible to me
and you are responsible with me
that's reality for me
however not everyone is ready to commit to accepting that reality
but i'm saying that part of the process that were studying here is learning how
to accept
and realize reality
which is hard to accept and realize responsibility
and part of realizing it it usually involves at some point commitment to study it
however although i'm responsible to you i am not in control of you
and you are not in control of me and i am responsible for and to myself and i am not in control of myself
but i am responsible for myself to myself
and
may i say something
them pivotal word for beer is with first dude you are responsible
with me and i am responsible with you we are together making
i i can i the the
part that the control for me as not so my term i can process that and i have a harder time with the word responsibility
oh
with the idea of giving up attachment say to you or to my child or not that or to to be in and even in anticipation as i am with you too
to be present to you and to
feel your presence and be open to that
in a way to me become somehow an attachment like just
opening to being present to that person so i can be responsive to them
and i'm i'm feeling confused about
their responsiveness and and that that sensation
that perhaps that's an attachment or some know yes
part of part of your ability to respond is that you can respond by thinking that there are some attachment in the field
as possible
and what i'm saying here is that in reality of responsibility there is actually no attachment
and this you are you miss yard at owl is did
just like that you feel a lot by practicing responsibility you will notice and i think you have noticed that as you're practicing responsibility you stumble upon or come upon attachment
you discovered it some attachment around the word responsibility
that comes up
but the attachments something you discovered as you were feeling your way about responsibility
because response a bid there can be no attachment you can't be attached to me to my responsibility to you you can't get ahold of that
but if you think you can you have just discovered something that is unreal
hmm cause it will always be there because of our mutual responsibility nobody can get ahold of anything nobody can own you know like possess you can't possess me or yourself
you can't possess your responsibility
since the higgs boson
that's the higgs boson
in inria in the reality of our mutual responsibility there is no possibility of attachment however as we get into studying ah responsibility we will notice certain delusions like attachment and control
and then when we whispered control comes up the we have the responsibility to work with that together to realize it's a delusion
what is some like when you don't want a response that they say you get just exhausted at exhausted with
like you good talking about the great competitor the grace and and allowing you have something that arose yeah and you weren't control of the arising of it
you didn't make it come you're just trying to be responsible and then suddenly boom i don't want to be responsible came up now
you and i
are responsible for this thing which we didn't make happen
but it came into your life you told me notes and both of our lives and now we're both responsible for this thing i don't want to be written this thing i don't want to be responsible where did that come from i don't know for still responsible for you didn't want to come i didn't want to come you didn't make it come we aren't and and
and and now it's here and we're not in control of it we got this thing i don't want to be responsible in our relationship
and we are responsible for it we are responsible
to understand it to be kind to it
to investigate it i am responsible to investigate i don't want to be irresponsible which in other words we are responsible for investigating
children are not childhood but childishness immaturity immature beings sometimes can't cope with the
vastness of responsibility so they say i don't want to be responsible or they flipped to the other side and said i'm combining complete control
so either way these are opportunities which we are responsible for which we can surround bike with compassion and now observe
ah know if somebody doesn't want to be responsible get really observe and experiment coming martin experiment tell me more about how you don't want to be responsible
so would you say going back to your first statement about responsibility and responsive
lsd
being reality is it also bringing it back to your theme of sciences that also like science being responsible to the truth
yo together together as a whole
en masse
yeah
okay so i'm not big on control and i'm rather unpopular for that reason but when you when you realize when you give up trying to control that helped to relax and study better
i can be more responsible if i let go of thinking i'm in control of my children
so i'm devoted to them but i'm not in control of them and i'm responsible for them and i commit to realize my responsibility but i do not commit to get my children under control
or the so-called students i'm not committed to get the students under control and get them all lined up to be borders are not doing that i am responsible for their brotherhood not in control of their brotherhood and they're responsible for my border heard but you know
one of you are in control of my buddhahood
is yours you're responsible for my daughter and if you are wanting to be convinced if you want to convince her or helped explain like your help ping me understand or your leave your guiding me or giving me is that i don't
want to convince i don't want to convince i want to help you but i don't want to convince you i want to help you be buddha not convinced you to be buddha
but you're convinced i'm could have it will help you've convinced me
okay
i think it he wrote them

i read good evening good evening
ah i think i think i'd have two questions and i think they are related i think my first question is a pal you mentioned that alley
since there's really no fixed south so the ownership of our emotions the say it's not my anger for example is now my sadness i think i can you think i can understand that to a certain degree and an extent
ending from that i think that that maybe we can also say it's not my anxiousness start your conscious onto my career i'm hearing you correctly when i when the statement is my feelings that's an that's an aversion for him
but we do have a wide consciousness and but really it's not my consciousness
but i don't think that way and thinking that way is an affliction
i think that oh it's it's easier for me to accept it for instance is now my anger is easier for me to be open to the idea or lack of the attachment to my anger my anger but somehow it's the anger that
anger if if if there's anger and i just say or hear his anger it's easier for me to be kind to it than if it's my anger me who adding my and just makes it harder to take care of it just like to add in my baby makes me it makes it harder for me to take care of his better like baby
the carol baby not in my baby makes it harder it's normal but is a little harder
and know for
sorry that's probably related to you why you were talking about last week about impartial being impartial
right and perhaps also related to that the previous persons question about responsibility yes an attachment and and trying to control while we are not identifying these things as ours we may have an easier time just do is take out the business
and i've had it if we do say my whatever be kind to that
cause as many as were trained to talk that way i think that were so be kind to that and then we can gradually understand that how that's making things more difficult
hmm and can you say a leather been more about how
we can see consciousness as just consciousness rather than my consciousness guess the i felt so right now i know there is awareness
of the room i men of the of this room and of you and everybody else in the group there is this awareness and this this is also an awareness there's also this awareness it it comprehends or embraces feelings and sounds and smells there's an awareness
all this that total embrace or the total yeah the totally embrace of all that's going on that consciousness and i understand we do not there does not need to be the statement my consciousness even though i'm in it
i'm like a resident in this consciousness but is not mine
just like i live in the u s
but is not my continent
it's so hard to intellectually i can understand that but so hard to to let that go is it that feels like it feels like all these conscious experiences is considered my being alive yeah right
so it may be so that's why work is difficult to let go and we don't want to force it but by studying we will see it an illusion by observing it and talking about it and being friendly with it we'll see how silly it is
without pushing it away or punishing at her denying it we wanna be friends with it but you know be friends without this distant delusion are also be friendly with how well established in is
it's gonna be awhile
is what are on our experiences are going to sleep or when you fans are those
make moments when we can contemplate out while though in those experiences you're not trying to hold onto your control the consciousness so so wet when you're not when you're going to sleep there is a moment when you relax
and if you start being british for a moment we stop being possessive of they're going to sleep process you know like i'm gonna go to sleep i'm going to school the people who do that have a hard time but it may even they sometimes they they let the let go of it and they just go to sleep
and they didn't do it they went to sleep but they didn't make themselves go to sleep but the people were trying to make themselves go to sleep have a hard time
yeah it's a good example
thank you you're welcome

june or friend

how much actually i think fran was first
he believes that okay with me i think you workers
okay do i need to do anything bothering okay
good evening laugh
cause a new friend
oh
well i had a question in mind that then also another one came up more in reaction to the the last questions and conversation so and present that first and i'm thinking about in talking about my an ownership
if of things in the mind in our consciousness ah we're just where does the body come into play so we say my body
i know that that's in a different realms the somehow it still it is an idea but there actually is a thing called body that way
perceives our consciousness being attached to the consciousness thus they are being attached to so how how's what is the a good way to think about what we call our body
how does that come into play
i'm in karmic consciousness
oh yeah there are a record room since data appearing
for example colors smells tastes tangibles and
sounds
these theses are appearing and karmic consciousness
ah those are not direct since experiences
the directions experiences are actually affecting your sense organs
your sense organs from the buddhist perspective your your body's really
what five sense organs
like your your sooner it's this huge sense order our bodies actually a censored
but you cannot see or sense organ and consciousness
you can't see how your hire a behind your body is responding to for example light
but your body is responding to light and that route that relationship is your body is is is hired this is organ of is the sense organs are they're responding to sense data
and this interaction between your sensuous body and the environment
gives rise to consciousness
in which there's appearances of says data but they're not the sense data directly there since data in consciousness maha
okay so i think i have a little bit of a grasp of that
and i'm thinking about the the ownership issue
if i say my body ah
so sarah it's not anybody else's body it's not something like consciousness i can see us something that's
mm an idea of it how it can be shared and come from the unconscious and come from our contacts said the room where m and everything around us but body seems to be more
the physical things physical material things seemed that they are more separate
mom says i'm stuck there was more what i was thinking about
the gained the the the buddhist version presents the body as sense organs
but sense organs
aren't they they're they're nonexistent except when they're operating
so a sense organ that's not operating is not a sense organ
but there's still an ear there with flesh and but if if you have to thing here this thing here this fleshy thing than yeah actually the oregon is a look at a bergen okay so in buddhism than they said be finished an organ here there's something there's something in this area which is
is which responds to sound but the d m the main way that your does this thing here response shown his bike and like bond was a get into the whole here ah but this isn't actually picking up on the sound too much ah there's some a bit there's some sensitivity some living sensitivity to
sound that's the organ
however when there's no sound there's no worthy
when you're in a situation if we're in a situation where there's no sound than little know your there's no your oregon because is not operating
no
it did the tissue here like this this heat this here is part here outside and cochlea the eardrum of the all that physical stuff there but as you know in some people that stuff's there but there's no work and that there's no there's no receptivity to sound it's not operating so they don't
have a sense of self a sense of ear as of the ear so in that since i don't have part of their body is missing
ah so the sense organs cannot exist without the sense data
it's actually an interaction
between them that gives rise to the consciousness of the theme of the data but the consciousness is not is the interaction is not the sense materia the sense organ and it's not the sense data it's the interaction between them
and sense data are not sense data except to sense organs like electromagnetic radiation
is not white isn't it i mean it's not it's not sense data it is it's a physical phenomena it becomes sense data when an interactions which a sense organ
and that's a redux the foundation of our life is that our body and relationship doesn't environment
and that relationship gives rise to
awareness and in the awareness their can become representations of the physical world that interacting with our body which is our sense organs but that representation is a mental image a mental construction a mental arrive
sizing of this intimate relationship between are sensible are sensible body and whole world
but we're not consciously aware but our consciousness arises from this intimate relationship between our sense body which is the body we have and the world
as effect of kenya kind of an idea
consciousness ises arises from this interaction
an excellent so the actual material of the body is just as part of the phenomenal world
it's part of the phenomenal world yes it is and it is sensitive to z m
he looked to light sounds smells shown it's it's sensitive to that and when that when that when these to interact which they do somehow they meet their friends and this relationship gives rise to awareness and then in the awareness there is
representation of what the body touched or what touched the body
but it's a representation of it it's not the actual touching and the body that appears in our mind is mental construction of our body what appears in our consciousness is not actually the sensitivity to light as a sensitivity to smell
that it we just have ideas about that which is part of our study is to study or ideas of our body
okay that's that's a lot it's a glass
i will try to got and beverages of i'm sorry i give given a do too much now know that there was very good
i'm at enough should i go to the my original question for okay grow to one that was so was simple but it's num number two of the for afflictions was the one that i had the
the hardest time i'll try to make sense out of in some way the idea that the self views
consciousness it's conscious what it perceives us it's conscious or the self views consciousness and also the self use all the stuff and consciousness like the colors and the smells and the sounds in the feelings for in consciousness is all this stuff and then there's this idea
which is this stuff is being viewed by the self
but it's not it's actually being viewed by the whole consciousness not the self
the self is just another
unless unless we would say in the one case that the self as consciousness that's one thing as you say the selves nothing other than consciousness
okay but then you then then ah then i guess you could say the self out
hello olmert we don't think to self as conscious as we also think the self his feelings and so on
what if we take the perspective of mindfulness so i'm hoping mindful of my thoughts and feelings is than me who's being mindful not myself and what what is that yeah so that's an example of mindfulness of for example a boy
breath
mindfulness of breath and then we can add onto this i'm mindful of breath
but it's actually is actually mindfulness a breath you can been the idea that i'm mindful of brick that's an affliction that makes mindfulness are much more difficult to practice to think that i'm mindful of my breath rather than mindfulness abroad my parents of breath or
i'm er i'm balancing on this tight rope
rather than balancing on the tow rope so there is this affliction he knows which is more like to the cell pride that ah whatever kind of good things are going on here especially as a good things i'm operated so i'm during the mindfulness i'm doing the generosity i'm doing the patients
it's really is is that i'm generous is generous is being generous in this way is not my generosity my generosity is antithetical no ordinary certainly makes generosity very cumbersome
okay thank you very much the top off
well i'm i'm sorry it is past time and we try to end on time thank you for donating your time june
and i'll see this weekend write your question down we can talk about this weekend okay
certainly happy to and charlie i'm sorry we didn't get to charlie
for your wonderful question whatever might have been
you can you write it down and bring it up later
thank you thank you everybody for another wonderful
evening of study of compassion of investigation of experimentation of observation of each other and of our karmic consciousnesses
may we continue this study until everybody realizes it would away okay
the some good sounds
wonderful i feel responsible santa program but i'm gonna get all of it
meet her
well as you know
even though not an adderall and responsible and lit up and a bank
to unite