you
i thank you for coming back after our one way break we have four more meetings too
explore compassion
to investigate
compassion
two
experiment with compassion

to question
and inquire about compassion
and tonight i like to oh and then welcome charlie
and tonight as like to go over something that term
we talked about and our last meeting
our with a little edition so i'm proposing now various aspects
of generating compassion
and but before trying to and for into the process of generating compassion i wanted to
dress the issue of
being
ah
what's the word

impartial
impartial

ah so it's a
it's a natural thing for us to
find some people some sentient beings to find them pleasant
to find to be comfortable with them
and it's also just like a physical fact that was some people we are uncomfortable
and we feel unpleasant being near them
irritated by their mere presence
so ah as a has a basic background practice
we need to be impartial
we don't need to be comfortable with everybody or uncomfortable with everybody
but we do need to learn how to not hate
or be attached
to be eggs
now usually there's some tendency to
get attached to people were comfortable with and people who we find pleasant
and
it's a natural tendency to hate
people who we feel uncomfortable with
we find obnoxious
ah disgusting
ah
yeah
repulsive
so these feelings we have no control over as far as i know for the time being
but we can notice if we feel attachment those were comfortable with
and pay attention to that and in a sense confessed and repented
over and over until we let go of our attachment to beings who we are comfortable and hoof with whom we feel pleasant
and similarly some people ah
with whom we have an uncontrollable aversion or i should say ah discomfort to learn to let go of trying to er erg get away from them and avoid them and even hate them
this is a yeah an ongoing thing and
so that we can treat beings impartially if we don't treat if we don't find a way to be impartial with people than we wind up can be biased
we are
disabled to some extent in being able to see what's going on
we will be if we're if we're biased and will interfere with and lead our practice and lead us to make mistakes due to our biases

so with someone i'm uncomfortable with i can be unbiased towards them even though i'm still uncomfortable and that i can have a chance to him
again to develop loving kindness and compassion
and leading to buddhahood because again compassion is the main cause of buddhahood but if we don't practice in partiality towards beings it will not be possible for us to practice true compassion and
and become the helpful person we aspire to become in this world
so i propose at the beginning and it's also a conversation piece and but i'd like to or if you have responses to this suggestion of the necessity of being impartial
put less talk about that later okay after i presents a little bit more
so then the next practice is the practice of
well
oh by the way there's a there's a traditional a presentation of for divine abodes which many of you have probably heard about
the first one's called loving kindness
mehta in poly and my tree and sanskrit the next one's called karuna our compassion the next one's called promote data worse are finding ah the merit and others finding their virtues and rejoicing in their virtues and the fourth one is called equanimity
equanimity is very close to being impartial
so that when we're so that we were uncomfortable
we somehow learn
to treat our discomfort
without hating it and when we're comfortable we learn how to relate to our comfort without attaching to it and then also if we can relate to our own comfort without attaching and our own discomfort without hating than we can do this
we can learn to do the same thing with people with whom we feel comfortable or uncomfortable so the usual order it is usually in that enough system is loving kindness compassion sympathetic joy and
equanimity but in a way this what i'm presenting to you is kind of not quite the reverse is more like equanimity or impartiality
and then actually just to see merit in others and then practice loving kindness and then practice compassion and then generate the wish the deep resolve
to live for the welfare of others
to be focused and steady and steadfast in our intention
to live for the welfare of others and from there
in order to live for the welfare of others we aspire to buddhahood because buddhahood will enable us to be the best friend
the best protector the best refuge
the best liber greater for all beings and this resolve this aspiration is
the seed of buddhahood and is necessary for buddha
so are getting a back way back to impartiality and then going back to
a requirement which i mentioned last time a requirement for love for loving kindness
and that requirement is that we have a gentle
feeling of fondness
fondness or affection for beings

and an order to have this gentle fondness or affection for beings we need some help and help as i propose last time is to understand that in the inconceivably vast evolution that we have gone through
to become the person we are now all beings have been last time i said our mothers
they have also been our sisters or brothers or fathers her uncles or aunts our friends our enemies
they've been all those things to us in our vast evolutionary process
and then there was some discussion i was included in about the problem of sick of seeing others as having been our mothers
because in modern times life is really complicated
so i would suggest if we are in a time when seeing others as mothers does not kind of
a chord with seeing others as our benefactor
that we change just you know maybe understand that mother means and and also in ancient times maybe there was more strict division of labor and may be fathers did not do caregiving
you know the mothers were really focused on that but whatever the reasons that we have trouble with this i would suggest that we understand that we wouldn't be here if we hadn't been cared for by innumerable beings somebody did good stuff for us so that we could be her to do
we are here by the kindness of others
and everyone all beings who are currently living with us has served as an effective and loving caregiver for us in the past to meditate on that until we actually for can feel
shanteau
feelings
a fondness and appreciation and affection for all beings through this meditation and this is a meditation to do
knock when you're on the street
but do it
in your quiet meditation so that when you meet beings on the street you already have understood this
because as you know people on the street sometimes are rude to us disrespectful of us
or disrespectful of others
and i really feel that you all want people to respect everyone right you want you all want everyone to be respected
and i find that
some people who really want to want everyone to be respected and want everyone to respect everyone have trouble respecting people who don't respect people

so again i know some people who want
all beings to be respected
and they really want that and i do too however
when they see someone not respecting someone they think that person should not be respected
and that it's making exceptions like that will hinder the development of true compassion and true aspiration to buddhahood
and i'm happy to discuss that later also so once again impartiality
number nine the next learning in through meditation
through recollecting the all beings have been our
great italy compassionate caregiver in the past
and then from there being able to practice loving kindness and loving kindness is to wish all beings to be happy and to be aware that many bees lack happiness and that we we
the person who lacks happiness to have great happiness
that's loving kindness and if we really if with you're fond of people we will be able to wish that for them and not only do we wish it for them
ah we commit to work for that for them we accept responsibility for that wish that they would have abundant happiness
and based on this love the next phase is that based on that love we practice compassion
so that love sometimes we use the image that love moyer business the ground of all living beings it moises and softens it and prepares it for the planting the seed of compassion
it will again hinder the plant and compassion in ourselves if we do not practice this genuine
tender appreciation for all beings we will be hindered and planting compassion and our mind and body
and transmitting it to others
compassion is different from loving kindness in that compassion is not so much noticing that people like happiness and wishing that they would have great happiness it is more being aware that they are miserable and stressed and
frightened and tormented
and wishing them to be free of misery and suffering so loving kindness wants beings who don't have abundant happiness to be happy and compassion wishes for all beings who are suffering to be free of suffering and
then following from that wish is the commitment of that practice
based on this compassion we then we'll be able to really committed to the work
the aspiration
the benefit all beings

so i offer these things and i i i welcome your ah
your conversation about this and your difficulties in any aspect of these practices and i once again i want to stress that
ah we want to be able to do these practices in the street in the grocery store
throughout our daily lives with people however it's also important to do it when you're alone
when you have quiet time so
so you're not like challenge to deal with people while you're trying to and meditate on them as having been you're truly compassionate and devoted caregiver and in the past and also i wanted to say again that also all beings have done our enemies in the past
but we're not focus on there having been enemies but we do notice that in the present they are they are our enemies
we have enemies in the present
and these enemies in the president have been our enemies in the past but they have also been
astoundingly supportive and nurturing kind to us and that we focus on so that we can be impartial and loving and compassionate towards our enemies not to mention our friends
and one the thing no to work toward the things that there's an order in these practices so the in the case of
being impartial
we start practicing impartiality
towards people that we we're aren't particularly comfortable with or uncomfortable with people who have never done in coop for whom we haven't really seen that they've done anything good for us are harmed us people that we have
kind of neutral feelings for we start practicing impartiality with them because it's easier to deal with them it's harder to start practicing impartiality with people who are good friends
the soldiers of people we have a tendency to be attached to a start we start by practicing with people we have kind of neutral relationships with and develop impartiality with them and watch with them for any tendency to attach or hate
then we go next to friends and do the same watch out for any a tendency to attach or hague and then we got to enemies and watch for any tendency to hate or attach
and with loving kindness
we start with those we start with
ah ourselves and at that isn't if you can't do that then you start with someone who is a friend someone who you feel as helped you and you go to someone who he who you feel ya neutral relationship with and then you finally go to the person who has been cruel to you
a person who you feel how you have reason to have resentment or somebody you do have resentment towards
okay so night and i think i'm ready to ah
i talk to the people who have their yellow hands raised
a book before we do that how can i get via the chat thing to go away is obscuring my view
identical chat
on the bottom of your screen
but why where did where is it how don't seek out the chads covering the chair
i smoked to participants
the i just saw the the chats covering up the participants
it's blocking out about a third of the screen the chat
there's a little box at the bottom you know adam
chat if you click on that it should disappear again but i'd say i don't see that little shoutbox used to be there but now this big black boxes on top of it
do you see a red dot on that big box that you can click to make it go away
like it says chat and up on top if you move your cursor if you move your cursor up there that little dot up on the upper left with turn red and then you click it and bill sb i see a red dot on top of the whole screen over on the left thought that one know that now on oct
when the one in the chat yeah i can't get the yeah red dot to gone even with your cursor yeah i'm going to ah
the second i pressed a button for the arrow pointing down and said close i feel oppressed close
then you got it that didn't work i got a message from jeff
ha ha left chat close or i'll try it again
close
that work thank you
okay
two times does the trick
now i can see many people thank you so ah raised hands

justin
rob
i have i a confession is and hope for your question in there ah in that
you don't n n are attempting to be impartial
ah
ah
i find myself am
ah for lack of better way of putting on the i'm looking for the right words that putting up walls ah as trying to to exercise the practice and impartiality by
things might we closed
right and it doesn't feel good and it's very hot very habitual for me right and i want to
and i felt i don't express i don't express where mirror be am
the kindness or affection that's coming from those that i feel at front of want to get it back to ah so i guess i'm looking for advice on how to be impartial and ah
feel and express
joy and reciprocal am
but i guess more word hum delicate communication
are you saying that in some situations you feel yourself putting up a wall yard or yeah we're and be almost aloof and and i and my effort to be impartial were detached
but it it doesn't like and i thought i'm missing the mark that i think i think you're missing the mark yeah so with the people that you put that you're trying to be aloof from
or the item or they are the people you feel comfortable with and uncomfortable with
i am more so comfortable with
i haven't used i was have an easier time being with people that i'm uncomfortable with ah
i think putting up putting up being aloof ah and i'm putting up walls is not doesn't sound the same as hatred
but it's more like hatred
so
the thing is to
the the purpose of this is to be unbiased
and it's again so it's like
to learn to treat friends and enemies the same now you can say well i treat my friends and my enemies the same i put up walls between myself and them right there stop that i think that's not really the same as attachment or hatred
i think that's more like i know what that is what is that putting up a wall
what are you putting up the what you're putting up a war because you are you afraid of something
i'm afraid of being attached yeah yeah you're afraid of getting attached know
why guess i already out of that's the case
no shouldn't necessarily but why you're kind of i think the fear may it may be a neurotic the i'm not sure
some somebody or something in your life and you you you well could be or you could well be afraid of attaching to to this being

and i wouldn't i guess i would shift to considering this fear as a beating
ah and you said before that maybe because there's a fear you want to put up
a wall
to protect yourself from this fear
so i think
it would be good to find a way to treat this fear
with love
and if and also treat this this impulse to put up walls
to treat that with love
but again in order she treat the fear with love the the fear being with love and the wall building being with love
we may have we we need to have some
general fondness for it
and this
this fondness will be sponsored if you can realize that there's a long history of where this
this wall building has benefited you
has supported you and has been kind to you
and where fear
has been like your mother it has protected you and nurtured you
so that you can now
wish your fear and your wall building you can sincerely wish it happiness
so the good news is you can see these beings this wall building being and this fear of attachment bag you can see this being
and so now he had the opportunity to develop a warm affectionate relationship with it so that you can wish her happiness could just not it's lap probably lacking happiness
so this is something i would encourage you to meditate on
to find some way to appreciate and be affectionate towards this figure in his wall building
so you can wish it love and compassion and thereby be devoted deliberating it from the suffering that comes with it because fear of attachment is suffering and wall building is suffering
so please meditate on that
and let it let us know if you can find some sincere affection for this these beings that you told us about
thank you you're welcome

good evening rep
could even it yet
i'm ever props question about impartiality perhaps coming from the opposite issue that and adjust and raised is how does all that shit with
our feelings about our loved ones our spouses or partners or children family members long time close friends etc are we to be
it's it's almost him i i don't think you're quite saying that we should deny that we have those feelings for them and be impartial about in the sense that well we treat down just the same way we treat our people we would be inclined to hate people make us uncomfortable whatever so can you elaborate on
that a bit and then i may have a second question afterwards if there are a lot of cannes up
so are all your loved ones
they all want they all want to be happening right
and
oh
if by any chance a loved one should turn on you and become your enemy
they still want happiness and ah and were aspiring to wish our enemies happiness too
our loved ones can become we can become very uncomfortable our loved ones can be yeah ah obnoxious to us
we still love them they're still our most precious people but temporarily were very uncomfortable with them they're they're actually sometimes become our enemies
and we do not want to start being biased towards our loved ones when their enemies and
as opposed to when our friends right so this what we want we want to be able to love our loved ones even when they are
yeah like
just you know our enemies when they are actually fighting us and
yeah we want we want to be able to do that so we need impartiality so that we can keep sending them love and compassion even if they are becoming our enemies and i'm not saying to and also to not get attached to them
when there are deer when they're when winter giving us when they're making us so comfortable and soap as so pleasant and and delightful to be with them so in those cases
we usually want to not get attached to them because getting attached to them while also lead us to be biased and beating biased will interfere with our love
the unbiased will make it possible for us to be more heartedly loving and compassionate to are you know our own flesh and blood
some if you have any questions about that
i'm brent i just a i probably with some point the future if you have time for a second question of
with this notion that i'm probably taking this way to literally that everybody who exists in the world was there in the world at some point in the past has been our he always acted as been our enemy is acted with hit you know peacefully or whatever it is and also
lovingly toward us and i'm having trouble understanding that other than apart from the same while all humanity in a certain sense or all sentient beings existence over the time they existed in the physical world have contributed job by being here today i mean if if that's doing something good
current that for more than that i think i mean i natural i mean and as part of that process that has brought us to where we are now
what what has actually made us be here is lots of loving love and kindness as as brought us here along with all kinds of strife and and the people who also the people so at certain points in our evolution some of the people who have been most kind to us
we've also been very difficult to take care of and we've been you know it's it's been a great sacrifice for them to take care of us and they have made great sacrifices for us because they loved us so much and everybody's been part of that process
and the part that's the liberal party
it's hard for us to imagine that somebody has actually served as our father or mother in the past but that's the general thing you're saying is true and also the specifics are also part of the possibility that people have actually been or mothers
in the past and again that's something to meditate on you can start by taking is literally which is fine but then by meditating on it you get to actually understand in what sense what you can learn from taking it literally
so are you talking about something right
least what reincarnation that you mean are you today it for some are you talking just as an object from reputation your thing
how literally do mean that you mean the non-motor for part of it if i can events clear
the again this is a hard part for us this issues that we the i
i have evolved from innumerable beings in the past
so we can see it in this lifetime
we have trouble seeing it from before we were in our mother's womb
but or worse we are saying to consider the possibility that there was somebody that there was some life that preceded us being conceived in the womb
that the conception in the womb didn't come from nowhere
and we we are born of beings who existed before us and this long evolution
well i awoke i will contemplate that thank you thank you
beginning less evolution

good evening good evening
ah
i guess i'm feeling a little bit confused it uncomfortable with the notion of separating these for you know saying here is loving kind new series compassion here sympathetic joy here's equanimity
and i it feels to me watch alarm
i want to think of them as a packet sniffer that they're different aspects of the same thing that's fine because equanimity by itself doesn't sound very joyful it doesn't sound very
yeah like there's a lot of warmth in it you know but i think if there's warmth and equanimity to gather none that big a balance but i'm very uncomfortable with separating them out this way except as a way of teaching them
well in the if you if you make equanimity last it's following from a lot of warmth
it's following from loving kindness which is wishing people that happen is caught his following from compassion and is following from sympathetic joy so all this love and compassion enjoys leading to a state of equanimity
where you don't prefer joy over of you don't prefer pain over pleasure for example
but the non preference of
a pleasure over pain or comfort over discomfort you remember you don't have a preference for that that non preference impartiality where you don't hate discomfort and you not attached to comfort that is the it led to buy lots of warmth and love in the case
i'm presenting it were were primarily focusing on love and compassion and were saying that if you wanna have real love and compassion you need some impartiality before you start
so the other way i would understand as this is a warm loving in a equanimity which is slightly different but they're closely related
and the in both cases it's it's the virtue of equanimity and impartiality is that we can approach beings in an unbiased way we can give that we can give beings that we're uncomfortable with and those were comfortable with this
same ah the same love
and without doubt yes but we don't have to turn the other three off in order to be economists turn on turn what off the other three but what would you turning off compassion loving kindness and sympathetic joy you don't have to
turn them off in order to be eponymous they can be included in a quiet economists yeah
no you don't turn him off no no no no i thank you yeah no and the way i'm presenting it is you practice being impartial
so that you will be able to practice love and compassion with without being biased
because if you're not impartial it will it were you will be will bias your great work
so in this one starting with impartiality and then leading into discovering or this affection and then based on the affection wanting this is wanting people to be a happy really really wanted that for the been working for that and then based on that
wishing to practice compassion
so i i think it is important for us to to get a feeling for this and feel good about have a feeling a good feeling about this ah about the about this impartiality have a good feeling about it but ah
but maybe the food that good feeling won't be a pleasure
won't be comfortable or uncomfortable it might not be the one but it it is not to this this impartiality which i had a good feeling about i feel good about but it isn't exactly comfortable or uncomfortable it's i feel good about not hating discomfort and being attached to comfort
i feel really good about that but that's not exactly comfortable
but it's also not excruciating it's just i feel right about it i feel like
upright
well when you stop when you started the presentation there were circumstances where you might start with loving kindness and and work towards equanimity later there were others it seemed where he might start with equanimity an hour i would have to try saying is it in the traditional presentation
one of the for a brahma vihara is just for divine vote of the for brahma abodes in that presentation it's not the same orders what i'm presenting
because i'm emphasizing compassion which leads to ah in which is not so much leading to equanimity but leading to the i wish to become buddha to some are different in the earlier teaching it was loving kindness and compassion leading to sympathetic joy and equanimity
he equiniti was like in a sense in the early teaching and look in that particular presentation looks like equanimity was the highest state yeah whereas nobody surfer vehicle compassion the highest it
so it's a somewhat different understanding but similar but similar elements and so now we're putting the equanimity first to help our compassionate be better because compassion is is the boss not equanimity but we need at runnymede for the boss to be realized
image he was kind of the boss
be economists was was really are at but you need compassion to be economists now we say you need to be quiet a quantum so it's prioritizing
in this presentation prioritizing compassion which leads to buddhahood rather than
equanimity which leads to r hardship equanimity will lead to my personal freedom
compassion will lead to the freedom of all beings so i guess is so i drove her body followed that i appreciate you bringing this out because it showed that the earlier one has kind of the same elements
what the priorities are changed from personal liberation in the first one to universal liberation in the second one so appreciative if ever i'd like to know if people followed that because i think is it a nice thing that karen's question or brought help bring out
the difference between the two systems and the priorities of kind of the similar elements
thank my dream welcome

evening
good evening
an god sonya hi it's some yeah
if i can get my hand down
it's awkward
ha i can do i can live with that hand hockey
i'm i'm trying to enter this
thing that you're bringing up called on impartiality which i'm trying to turn this word because it seems a little bit intellectual and some wondering about the embodiment of it what what that might look like and as i'm thinking about it ah or kind of
feeling it it seems like it might be
a return to this teaching you've given about silence and stillness are creating a pause because if a bias for me if a bias is turning up and it means i'm having some kind of on
activated
response to something i'm not actually and maybe it's not allowing me to remember
to come from that which is most important what what i'm what i'm vowing to do so i feel like maybe the impartiality is approached by creating this pause rather than immediately going into motion and and a could get caught or sometimes i can get caught in a state
same way just as good which it can look stopped and kind of cold
ah rather than just kind of silence and stillness and then kind of from that coming out with their response yeah good yeah i think if you're if you remember stillness and silence when ah
something really uncomfortable comes or an enemy shows up at someone shows up and says i if you're wondering if i disrespect for you're right i really disrespect you and i am your enemy and i hate you and so when that shows up it's good to remember
stillness
and watch to see if by any chance when somebody declares themselves to be your enemy an insult you and so on to pause and and see watch out for for hatred coming up
not to mention the reverse were some people get into of attached to the person has been major to them
yeah so being still as really helpful at that point
and then say oh yeah i don't have to hate them they who are insulting me and threatening me and disrespecting i don't have to just a chance to to be there with that when these hormones start moving
and while it's wonderful i didn't hate them
and so i am so i as and then vice versa
who this is so comfortable it's good just to stop for second turn answer watch out for this is so comfortable
let's speak this be present here and see if we're trying to get more of that are attached to it yes yeah i think in that pause i can remember if i'm turning get something or get away know something in that moment and then i have the possibility if i can remind myself of what
what it is i actually wanted do as an offering yeah but you and it's why i wanna be impartial towards is really comfortable situation
because that will help me move on to them in a more important practices
when products but if i don't if i have a habit of being kind of sloppy with comfort and discomfort that will bias me metal to what's coming up in later phases of this meditation so i wanted i want to work on this as it as a basis this is kind of the basis for generating love
like i can see how i feel like the word and partials kind of cold but i can feel the difficulty with it but i feel like you're pointing yeah
yeah something like not moving are not getting too overly an implicit i can see that is not a real warm word impartial also bias isn't a real warm word right but we're trying some mark what's what's the heart of what we're trying with the heart is were true
trying to develop love and compassion and the heart of that is so that we can help people
so that's so now we're just saying we need some basis some there are some basic things we need denuded the beginning rather than later rather than rather than be biased at the beginning and then go into practicing love and compassion in a biased way we will be unsuccessful
it's kind of like putting on shoes before you walk on a rough surface is not necessarily that of warm and friendly listening to do but if you don't put your shoes on it may be difficult for you to walk on this surface and you you make it very biased if you don't have shoes on
towards the surfaces you're walking on so yeah it's not
it's a basis it's the foundation for these very warm not very warm for these warm gentle fondness is and these wholehearted loving kindness and compassion is if some basics to take out beforehand
it's like equipment
yeah

good evening good evening
so on
so in a kind of a big picture i feel like i'm with the program that you're talking bout that
you know just today on the radio i heard a recording of martin luther king talking about something he's quite a few times talked about which was what is the what does it mean when jesus says love your enemies and he had you know he handled that question very beautifully and i ah you're talking about that too
and i'm aspiring with both of you however i'm gonna racer
problem that i feel a question about
how we really help people and about our skill in teaching and helping people
ah an example that i'm
will give and some have given before i just have to say oh
that's some time it has been an occasion when somebody said because i raised an example of abuse somebody abusing somebody and sometimes somebody had start well oh my goodness is linda being abused her does she see a kid next door was no
i'm not being abused i'm not thinking of a case of abuse that i need to do something about but i liked this example
when a person is really being hurt you know like you see somebody who is your enemy because they they're hurting you
ah i i haven't found it skillful are helpful to suggest to them that they should try to be impartial and cultivate ah
loving kindness toward the person that is hurting them
ah and so i i wonder whether this kind of teaching
can be bad in cases like that
helpful both for myself and with other people that are suffering and being hurt
to say just experienced that hatred just like you often do you say be friend that feeling
so that's my question
it is it's it seems is not skillful to me to encourage a person who has actually suffering abuse to say well really want to love that person
so please tell me what you feel
well could we start with on me or and you yeah that is somebody else okay so i'm i'm chalking by training myself
i'm not telling other people what to do however i'm telling people about a training which they could do i'm not talking to people who are right now being abused you might be there's thirty nine people on here
right but nobody's telling me that are being abused and if they did if they told me they're being abused solar maybe maybe could if you wanna do that we can just say you can tell me right now that you're being abused okay so tell me you're being abused by someone is is a play because i'm not being abused or can
if if i'm being abused what i want to do as i want to not hate the person that abusing me
i wanna not hate them not if you tell me you hate some if you if you tell me you hate somebody sham is even somebody was not abusing you
like some people hate people who are been kind to other people instead of them
so if if we have a person is telling the i'm hating then i would address their hate with compassion
but if they're being do if i'm being abused or attacked i wish to not hate my attacker that's what i want to do now if somebody tells me they're being attacked i might say to them do you do what you wanna do you want to or yeah
i would ask them what they want to do what we do here or am i said you hated intimate said i hate that person well then i would do what the hate
but if they tell me this person's abusing them and they say i would like to relate to them without hating them that doesn't mean that i would say to that i read that took the davidic
encourage the person to continue to abuse them
it's matter of fact i think that i have quite a few examples where somebody's being abused and they don't hate the person and that non hate wakes the abuser up that's i want to not hate people who insult me as an act of compassion
but i'm not so let's begin now we've got more deeply but he is ready think
yeah i i think that i also wanted not hate anybody even if i
perceived that they're hurting me i'm i'm pretty old now i can understand that somewhat
it's just that i don't want anybody to feel that they should love their abuser because that's that i don't want anybody to get the impression that that's the wisdom of the buddha
that's all i worry about that okay so now we have a situation where somebody's being like i'm being abused the person hates me they tell me they hate me you know
and i
you're being abused and do but i see they enter i i want to i want to or not hate them that's what i've been telling us what i want to do is based on that
then then the next step for me in my training
that is not if i've succeeded in not hate if i hate them i got guy just gotta keep working on that cause i'm i'm i don't have my feet on the ground yet if i'm hating them hating hating people you know does not help me if somebody is abusing me for me hating does not help me take care of myself
in their abuse
doesn't help me i'm with you actually i i am completely in accord with what you're teaching
and and
ah i just worry about prematurely or about hastily or anything you know insensitively and i think you would handle that correctly if you met the person you've told me that just now
ah
i i i found i think you understand what i'm saying i don't really have any more say well you are contemplating
a situation where you see potential great suffering yes and you're concerned about that yes and that that is not telling people what to do or anything that is something that you want that you really want to
three those beings from that suffering
correct and in order for you to do that you have to do this work of not hating people who are being cruel to you that will enable you to give these people that are talking about the compassion that they need and that compassion may lead them
debt and that compassion will protect them and that may lead them to enter the training program the first step will be competitive them at their compassion for their hatred for their own suffering that you will feel that you feel that for them yeah and they will feel that from your yeah and then you
can lead them back through the process of training once they have been touched by you yes
time heals tell you start you don't start by by putting them through the training program you say are a given them compassion right now in their situation exactly at that relief that encourages them and then they want to know or hurried were hardaway learn how to do this and then you take him through
okay okay yeah
and there's no compassion is not rushing you to stop worrying about these people we want he who we want you to keep worrying about
so thank you for worrying about them
and worrying about anybody misleading them are you know confusing them no thank you

i'm laughing because somebody show me this video of this yoga teacher and her dog
and the dog was doing the yoga postures as she was doing
there was a wonderful yes pasha

skyrim and i assembly
ah a impartiality is a day important topic right now in this extremely polarized world
painfully prize and them
maybe i'll respond to your last conversation i was as i was listening to you using the word cultivate maybe that's where some difficulties might come up for some people because in away from my observation
it's not so much that we can cultivate something like that we find it that is there already
compassion is there already we don't cultivated it's there we just need to discover it because it's hidden behind those beings that you call i liked that expression being of fear anger or prejudice or whatever and when
sweet
find give them attention loving attention and love and compassion is really fully full undivided attention than they
they go something happens to them i don't know what happens but they disappear and then what i discovered myself that that that's all there is his compassion and understanding for for for things that are around me and the reason i stay
added with dead polarizing of this world right now because for i must confess this is my work right now is to find impartiality
a in my added in my viewing of the world divided by covered politics by vaccination politics and many other things that
a been
i'm afraid to use different words because i save her
different words will didn't guide one in certain attitudes already so very important not to go to into too much detail
that a
as i was struggling with wish as i was listening to opposing views people of different very extremely different polarized views i was noticing that they have been leaning even though i wanted to
be empire show there was a tendency to see this as right and this is wrong and in that i i recognized my own
am
maybe it's from my childhood or maybe with all have it and it's hard to explain but and i i recognize that there was this a feeling off a pain and grief the meeting people who are asleep and and
in wrong views and stuck in their ideas and unable to meet the reality with more openness and it was giving me humongous amount of grief and and sorrow and an anger and all kinds of stuff and i was struggling of that and until
well i cannot
recognize that struggle
i was i was suffering quite a bit and then when you presented reminded me of by he is a story and how he received the teaching from the buddha it create an incredible space but
cause i recognize that i don't have to put myself into everything around me all i need to do is witness it and somebody said in our conversation today that impartial seems cold and that's what
frightened me at first they come my goodness this is so cold this is so scary to view the world without
emotions which are with i think is without know without emotion it without hatred and attachment right but is there still in motion it's the
it's the emotion of impartiality rights
he's not it you know it doesn't make very good movies that threaten no drama right and and actually if it is it's like a love story because when i finally owning the new orleans and at the end of drama yeah and it was terrifying at first like oh my god
that is one i hope they excited about for my god it's god
and they like how do i live my life with it without this hate and and attachment like couldn't this this is almost had to face and then it's like oh my goodness it's so good to discover it so so then at some i started to have courage
want to just face the most frightening polarized sides you know people who are so into science and people who are so against science in oh so into covered sewing to vaccines and those who so are so against and i just started to just face it and
and be with it and then suddenly
i stopped being irritated by people's attitudes and i totally started to see how how we're all miserable beings so afraid and so struggling and so suffering and so i discovered that deep compassion after i
i entered a very pretty long tunnel of struggles dark kernel of facing dread and
isolation not belonging and so when last week we're talking about racism i thought i was going to raise up the issue or know somebody else or some other talk you know how painful it is to feel disconnected with people for
some people around us how terribly painful it is so and i went through that and it was extremely unpleasant but it once a face those beings they they are gone and it's different
so but i'm some it's still so much work to do to to to route myself into that kind of their way of relating right
it takes a while

thank you again europe's had nowhere else or their hand up so i just want to ask you one question about something passenger said
which is rather we're supposed to be whether you're telling us to be impartial towards the views people express which i think i heard much to say which way she understood it versus being impartial toward to the person is expressing it because i don't think you're saying that all yeah
use your equal are you or that some be used on know i just think i'm just saying when someone expresses of view which you re disagree with your it all agree with it are you even think it's a terrible view and and harmful view it's a view of your enemies
just saying
how about noticing that you can look at that without hating the hating the view or the person just i completely disagree rather than i hate it and i hate the person who set up and similarly
when you have an idea that you really feel good about hubbard having that idea without attaching to it and send the people who are oh who have really great ideas about you appreciated them without attaching to them that's i'm talking about that will help us be devoted to
whatever it is
and to liberate this deliberate this deliberate the enemy and to liberate the friend not to get rid of an amazing friends or stupid ideas and good ideas
in know of course is not good for people to be our enemy
but
we we we if we hate them as gonna as that's gonna derail us in our work
it doesn't it it's it can be we can let go of the heat and legacy attachment and then we can work on discovering who this person really is
but will not get it we're going to have trouble discovering who the person is of the idea is
if we hated her attached to it
that's helpful thank you so if someone is expressing racist views it's not wrong to hit the view or see the view as wrong but the point is not to hate the heater the president was prohibited is expressing that view yeah i wouldn't even call it call it cruel and terrible yet is horrible it is it's been
gone wrong i mean because to as nineteen doesn't really hurt anybody's usually but and we don't use that to control people and an exploit them but we use racism to hold up a system of unhealthy relationships and it's very very sad
and very very painful and it just horrible we need to but we need to study it and awakened to the how to protect beings from this situation and if we hate it it's gonna make us though the off one way or another in addressing the problem
so will be able to address the problem better if we don't hate it i'm totally dedicated to freeing people from this cruelty and hating it it doesn't facilitate my work
and it makes it harder for me to see
what the winner what the true path would be and same with attaching to the good way and i still might think this is a good way
and i might work for to realize it but attaching to would interfere with it so hating the bad way
you know kind of aids it
and attaching to the good way kind of undermines it
thank us for a helpful he welcome
are there no more
offerings from the greatest me tonight
such things do happen i guess
yes i well i thought i'd come back again to i am one thought i was having as i'm listening to you talk more about equanimity is the acronym city is kind of what protects us from sentimental compassion
m
he stopped here so now i see it i see that families and equanimity supports us to examine set sentimental compassion more effectively and see its drawbacks and develop another kind of compassion which frees us from
sentimental compassion
like you

well if there's no more questions i guess i will say i hoped us i pray that we meet again someday on the a bonnie bonnie path to luck alone
you take the high road and all able to low road
mayor intention equally extend to every being and place with the true merit a buddha's way
beings are numberless i vowed to save them afflictions are inexhaustible i vow to cut through
tom gates are boundless i vowed to enter them brutal is unsurpassable i vow to become it
happy trails to you until we meet again
happy trails to you keep smiling until then
and of v till we meet again again
goodnight goodnight and thing you never know
my and reunited everybody was right and everyone and gear everybody thank you