This morning I'd like to talk about the ceremonial aspect of Zazen. Or looking at Zazen as ceremony. Having trouble hearing because of the rain? How's this if I talk like this? Having trouble hearing? Talk like this? Why don't you come up closer? There's a lot of room up here. I can't get much farther back because of the tables. There's a lot of room up here. The gi means ceremony. But in the translations of Phukhan Zazengi, usually they don't mention the word ceremony.

[01:14]

Usually it says, usually translated as universal or general encouragements or admonitions for the practice of Zazen. And I asked a Buddhist scholar, I said, how come you don't translate the word gi? I said, well, that's a good question. Is there anything wrong with translating it? I said, no. He didn't particularly want to translate it as ceremony. He would translate it as procedure. Ceremonies are procedures. Ceremonies are procedures. This part down here is beast. No, it actually means me, or self. And this character is interesting. Have I gone through the character with you yet? No. This side of the character... This side of the character in Japanese is also pronounced gi, and it means meaning.

[02:26]

meaning or honor or loyalty or righteousness. And this part of the character here means person. So ceremonies were person and meaning or person and righteousness come together. So anyway, I noticed that the character was there, that character Gi was there, and I think the Tukan Zazengi actually is addressing the ceremonial or procedural aspect of Zazen. If you look at the writings of Dogen Zenji, you find in the Shobogenzo there's a fascicle called Zazengi,

[03:29]

It's one of the fascicles. That fascicle and the Fukanza Zengi. And also in the Bendo Ho, there's some descriptions about procedural comments on the ritual, ceremonial practice of sitting meditation. But those three little works, that's about it in all of his writings. So that's where you find the actual ceremonial, procedural aspect of the essential practice described as ceremony and as procedure. And... The rest of the Shobo Genzo is about the contents of Zazen.

[04:52]

Some Zen teachers say that the Shobo Genzo is a footnote to Zazen. And I was studying the Gakudo Yojinshu with Leslie and Gary. Gakudo Yojinshu is a text which describes the attitude or motivation with which you approach the ceremony and the actuality of Zazen. Last night I was talking more about the content of zazen, which the content of zazen is dependently co-arisen awakening. I was talking about the content of the one practice samadhi. Today I'd like to talk about the ceremonial dimension of the practice.

[06:02]

the way that the person and the meaning or the person and righteousness come together. And what should I mention first? Well, one thing is that in that little article I wrote on the ceremony for encouraging zazen. Is that what it's called? For the encouragement of zazen. For the encouragement of zazen. In that little article I mentioned that the ceremony, actually the word ceremony, well, a ceremony can use a ceremony to celebrate, right? Like they say celebrate in the Catholic Church or churches where they have a mass, where they have a Eucharist. They say celebrate

[07:04]

the Eucharist, don't they? Celebrating. The word celebrate means to frequent, to frequently visit. So, in one sense, zazen is a celebration. And as I mentioned before, for me, it's a celebration in the spirit of Let's do something to celebrate that we don't have to do anything to be Buddha. Let's do a practice that celebrates that we don't have to do anything. Let's do a practice that celebrates the oneness of all life. It isn't a practice that makes, that creates the oneness of all life, it's a practice that celebrates it, that visits it, sort of.

[08:11]

And the other side, another side of the ceremony is one time when, just before Maizumi Roshi died, he was a green vulture and he gave a talk And he mentioned an etymology for the word ceremony, which I haven't been able to actually verify, but he said, somebody probably told him, that part of the etymology for the word ceremony is to heal. And I think, whether it's etymologically founded or not, I think it's true that ceremony heals the rift between the person and meaning. But another way that I think that Zazen practice heals or provides a healing environment is the ceremony provides a container, I feel. A container in which as you sit in a container of the practice, you develop tolerance or patience.

[09:21]

for a practice that you can't do. When I first was practicing Zen, I liked the Fukanza Zengi very much because it describes some things you can do to practice Zen. I wanted to be a great compassionate person like the ancestors that I read about, But here was something you could do, you know, in a sense to be a great ancestor. But really it's more like here's something you can do to tolerate the fact that you can't do anything to be a great ancestor. And it develops its, what do you call it? It helps you in the transition between doing something to be an ancestor and being an ancestor.

[10:27]

That transition is kind of painful because you're in the mode of doing things to be something and it's hard to let go of doing something to be something and move into just being something. Another way to put it is that the ceremony provides a kind of container or even a wound in which you can mature as a practitioner and gradually let go of practice as personal power. So as you practice moment by moment, day by day, year by year, gradually... In that context and in the pain of the life of power, your body drops off power and you actually realize this one practice samadhi, this absorption in the oneness of all life where there's no more personal power

[11:43]

So the ceremony is, in that sense, it's a healing process, healing the wound that's created by personal power. By feeling the wound of personal power, of trying to make things go a certain way, and gradually dropping personal power, and thereby recovering a natural relationship with Everything. And the ceremony, again, is also, what do you call it, a kind of somewhat soothing opportunity because you can also conceive of this ceremony. Like we have a little room where you can do it. You have your own little seat. you have your own little body, so you can conceive of the activity.

[12:53]

But as you see from the self-fulfilling samadhi, the actual function of the practice of the self-fulfilling samadhi, the actual life of the one practice samadhi is, although wonderful, it is inconceivable. This is not something you can conceive of. You can't do it and you can't even conceive of it. I recently read a little introduction to a Zen teaching and the beginning, the translator translated as the unsurpassable Dharma of enlightenment. The Buddhas profoundly lament is inconceivable. And you know, I've heard the Buddhists say over and over, it's inconceivable. It's ungraspable.

[13:57]

It can be realized, but it can't be conceptualized. But usually when they say that, I don't get this lamenting quality. Like also in the Self-Fulfilling Samadhi, when Dogen says, all this, by the way, is not something that's object of consciousness. It's inconceivable. The translation doesn't convey a lament, does it? You don't feel like, geez, I'm really sorry, too bad. The surpassable dharma of enlightenment is conceivable. We've got some surpassable types, but they are surpassed by the unsurpassable, and the unsurpassable is inconceivable. So again, the ceremony is a way for us to have something that you can conceive and something you can do to keep yourself wholesomely occupied in the transition from a conceivable, doable karmic world to the inconceivable, undoable Dharma world.

[15:07]

So just plop yourself in that little ceremony for 30, 40 years, and when you come out the other side, you'll be fine. It hurts a little bit in the transition, but it's something to do while you're transitioning. Another element in this is a little story I heard Edward Konza say one time. Edward Konza is a Buddhist scholar that taught at a lot of different places, but he actually taught at Zen Center for a while. And just before Suzuki Roshi died, he told Richard Baker that he thought that he wanted us, you know, his senior students, to go study with Konzaon, Richard thought he said, go study with Kanze on. Okay. He realized he was saying Kanze. Edward Kanze was in the Bay Area when Suzuki Roshi died.

[16:13]

And Suzuki Roshi suggested we go study with him. So we did. After Suzuki Roshi died, we went over... Actually, even while he was sick, we went over to Berkeley and joined his class. He had a class in the fall that Suzuki Roshi died. Was it now 26 years ago this fall? Richard Baker and Silas Hodley and Peter Snyder and Ananda Dahlenberg and me and a few other people went over to Berkeley to take his class on Prajnaparamita. And then in the next... The next year we took the class on Lotus Sutra in which I met my wife. There was a seminar and she was sitting there. I always say she was very well behaved. Pardon? Berkeley. UC Berkeley, yeah.

[17:17]

And he let these Zen people in as auditors. And in that class with these Zen students were also a number of the people who are now the leading Zen scholars around the country. Like Carl Bielfeld, and what's his name? Bill Powell, and anyway, Berkeley had quite a nice little group of graduate students in Buddhist studies at the time. They were all in the class. So, anyway, Kansa said, around that time he said, the Tibetan monks, or the Tibetan Buddhists, the Vajrayana Buddhists, they sit and they say, they pray, you know, for great compassion to come into the body. And they do it by saying, om mani padme om, om mani padme om, to draw this great compassion into their body.

[18:25]

But the Soto Zen monks just sit and don't move. They sit silently, unmovingly. That's how they draw and manifest great compassion. So our sitting, the ceremonial form of our sitting is a ceremony, you know, it's a public declaration, you know. Give me compassion. Let compassion come down here. It's like something we kind of like do in a sense to get compassion. And gradually though, but you get more and more still, you stop doing anything. So finally, it's something we don't do to realize compassion. But like I say, there's a long transition from doing to not doing. From karma to not doing anything at all. And another interesting thing for me is that the word karma originally appeared, or in its early form in India, it appeared as describing the activity of doing ceremony.

[19:40]

They have more than one word in Sanskrit for action. But the word karma was specifically used in the early days to describe the activity of the Brahman priests when they were doing the ceremony properly. So again, at the beginning of practice, we learn the procedures for the ceremony and we do them, and that's karma, in the ancient sense of doing it And as we do the ceremony more and more skillfully and more and more precisely and put more and more of ourself into it, when we learn to put ourselves completely into the ceremony, there's nobody left to put into the ceremony. There's just the ceremony. We've completed the transition. We're no longer doing it. We've completed the transition from the life of karma and personal power to the life of where it's just a ceremony now.

[20:47]

And one more dimension of this, well, two more dimensions of this, well, one more dimension of this. One is like the, what do you call it, the, what should I do for the Western or the Asian first? Western. The Western is, there's a term in Western religious studies or religious criticism called theurgy. Theurgy. T-H-E-U-R-G-Y. It means the way you work God. It's the way you, it's activities which influence God. Either influence God, you know, in God's own dynamic function or influence God in relationship to humans or to beings. but actual, it's actually actions of thought, speech, and body, actions which massage the relationship with God or massage God, help God out.

[22:19]

And this theurgy has an Eastern parallel to which again, Dogenzenji doesn't talk about too much, but it's called Kanodoku. So some people in the West see their activity, their spiritual activity or their ceremonial activity as responsible for everything. God, whatever, Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, all beings, the entire planet, the entire cosmos, and see that their activity of their religious practice or their religious activity is crucial for the welfare of the entire cosmos.

[23:27]

And I would say that the activity of the one-practice samadhi, or the activity of the self-fulfilling samadhi, has unimaginable power. The person doesn't have power, but this samadhi has unimaginable, inconceivable power to repair the world of dharma. to heal all wounds and rifts and dualities which obstruct the realization of divine harmony and actually improve Buddha. these activities. And kanodoko means spiritual communion. It means actually like appeal, request, and response across the path where they cross, the place where the appeal and the response cross.

[24:43]

So the zazen which the Zazen form, whatever form of religious activity we have, which means all of our activity when done in this way, there's a response to that. And the place where that response happens is the doko, the place of communion or correspondence. And that's called theurgy. in the West and Kano Doko in Buddhism or East Asian Buddhism in Zen and other places so in the in the Precious Mirror Samadhi the Song of the Precious Mirror Samadhi it says inquiry and response come up together the request and the response come up together and

[25:46]

And it says it responds to the inquiring impulse, the samadhi. This precious mirror samadhi responds to the inquiring impulse. It responds to the arrival of energy. When your light energy arrives, there's a response to it. So when you go sit, when you put your body on a cushion, energy arrives, there's a response. But the response is simultaneously, as soon as your butt touches the cushion, there's a response right at that moment. It isn't like you sit and then there's a response. The response is right at the same moment that you touch your zapa. As soon as you sit, there's a response at the same time. Therefore, again, this dharma, which is responding to this Human activity, this Dharma which is responding, is responding at the same moment as the activity, not later.

[26:48]

Therefore, it can't be an object. You can't, like, do it and then see the result. The response dependently co-arises with the effort. Therefore, the response is inconceivable. Lament. Too bad. However, if it was conceivable, then it would be like power. Then you would like sit and get a result. And the result you get by that power would not be trustworthy. This result you get, which is a response of dharma to your life activity in the ceremony, is protected from all gaining ideas and any kind of power trip you're on. It's protected by inconceivability. It's protected by the simultaneity with your effort. When your effort is selfish, there's also a response to that. But that's like Buddha not responding in terms of matching your samadhi, but Buddha responding in terms of feeling compassion for you because you're still involved in karma.

[27:59]

But when your practice is on the ball, so to speak, and selfless, that's the real request of your prayer. And there's a simultaneous, inconceivable liberation at that time. It's not by your power. It's not by the power of your previous thoughts, by your previous speech and your previous actions. It's inconceivable. And in the chapter on taking refuge, the Buddha says, I mean, Dogon Zenji, well, actually, he quotes another Zen text saying, the merit of taking refuge in the triple treasure is inevitably realized in this communion, in this response. You say, I say, you say, you think, you think, I take refuge in Buddha. Or you say, I take refuge in Buddha. Or you bow. like we do. You think and you say and you bow, I take refuge in Buddha, before all beings deeply entering the merciful ocean of Buddha's way.

[29:05]

You physically, verbally and mentally take refuge. the merit, the actual virtue of that is realized not just by that activity but in that communion. It's not realized by the Buddha, it's realized in the communion that occurs at that time. That inconceivable simultaneous meeting of your refuge taking and Buddhas and Bodhisattvas responding. They never don't respond when you say hi. It's just like this, it's like hi It's not like hi, hi. It's hi. It's right there. That's the response. It's right there. See, hi. I take refuge. I align myself. That's it. It's right there. Can't get it. But it's realized in that meeting. So the merit of sitting, the merit of taking refuge, is not just in the thing we do.

[30:12]

It's in the thing we do as a request, as a prayer, and interaction with that prayer and the response. So we finish. And I also like this, the other image I like is, well, at the end of the book on Zazenga, he says, the translation we have is like, long accustomed to groping for the elephant, is that how it goes? Do not be suspicious of the true dragon. So another way that can be translated, which I think is more literal, is long accustomed to touching part of the dragon. No, long accustomed to touching part of the elephant. Don't be suspicious or doubt or be curious about the real dragon. We're accustomed to touching part. You can only touch part of the elephant. You can't touch the whole elephant. The elephant's inconceivable.

[31:15]

We're touching part. So in some sense, you can only touch part, but remember, you're only touching part. So this ceremony is only part Even if your effort is complete, it's only part. There's somebody else out there to meet you, inconceivably there with you, inseparable, but you're not the whole story. So this is part of the elephant. And he said, don't be suspicious of the true dragon. What's a true dragon? A true dragon, well, true dragon is, you know, don't be suspicious, don't doubt the true dragon. True dragon, what you can't do? People are suspicious of what they can't do. Like in Minnesota, in some of the rural towns like Les Wobegon, you know Les Wobegon? They banished all the French books because the school board realized that those books could be saying anything. For all they know. So who knows what's going on with the true dragon?

[32:21]

Who knows what's going on with a practice that you can't do? We're suspicious of that. Like an unemployed practice? You know, just sitting there collecting welfare? This is not good. And also, this practice is, in a sense, it's extremely far away. It's so close that it's like infinite galaxies away. It couldn't be farther away because it's so close. We also are suspicious of something so near or so far He says, don't be suspicious of that. But then he also says in Zazen Shin, he says, speaking of the true dragon and the carved dragon, the carved dragon is our ceremonial dragon, right? So the dragon you can carve in the zendo, in the monastery, wherever you're practicing, that's your carved dragon. Just remember it's a carved dragon.

[33:26]

Still put your whole heart into the carved dragon. So thoroughly do the carved dragon that there's no self left. But still, even if you're selflessly carving the dragon, there still is also a real dragon. And then Dogen says, Don't esteem the nir. Don't esteem, you know, the zazen that you can do in the zendo. Don't, like, say, oh, this is really good. We're doing really, this is great zazen we're doing up here. Don't esteem it. And don't despise it once you realize it's only a carved dragon. Don't despise it. Do you know what despise means? Elka? Despise, do you know what it means? Don't put up. Don't put down this carved dragon. What do you do with the carved dragons? Hmm? What? Respect it, yeah, but... Study it. Huh? Study it. Write it.

[34:29]

Write it. Huh? You become very good, what? Be a carved dragon. Be intimate. Be adept. Be proficient. Completely be the carved dragon. Become very good at this carved dragon. But that doesn't mean, like, that's not esteeming it or putting it down. Just completely do it. Okay? And also, the real dragon, he says, don't esteem or despise the real dragon. Oh, the real dragon? Well, it's the real dragon. No. Geez, wow. No. Or it's the real dragon, so forget that. No. Same thing. Become adept and intimate with the real dragon. Practically speaking, how do you become adept with the real dragon? Through the carved dragon. If you really believe in the real dragon, you'd be able to give yourself to this crummy little carved dragon. I shouldn't say crummy, sorry. This ordinary, not special, not bad, not good, not bad, just carved dragon, carved dragon, that's it.

[35:36]

To give yourself to something so ordinary, so immediate, so everyday as your experience, completely give yourself to this moment. You can do that when you realize it's not just that. This is how you take care of the entire universe. And then he says, even though you're working with this carved dragon, still, up above your head, you know, the wind and the rain of the real dragon are all doing their thing. You don't know, it's inconceivable, but there's this response. The real dragon activity is like totally not only functioning in response with your small-scale ordinary experience, but it's even enlivened and improved and developed. So in that sense, the Zazen we do is, in that sense, a religious, this is talking about a kind of religious, ceremonial, spiritual, inconceivable, lament, lament, lament, religious activity of Zazen.

[36:46]

And you don't have to be smart or stupid to do it. One little story I remember is that I read this book one time, part of this book called The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat or His Hat for a Wife. His hat for a wife or wife for a wife? One of the chapters is about this guy who was an alcoholic and he had extreme short-term memory loss. Like, you'd meet him, and he'd say, like, if you met him, he'd say, hello, my name is Eleanor. And he'd say, hi, Eleanor, how are you? And he'd say, I'm fine, how are you? And then he'd turn, oh, hello, what's your name? Susan. That's nice. And then he'd turn back here and say, what's your name? My name's Eleanor. Oh, hi, Eleanor. Not even, oh, hi, Eleanor. He wouldn't remember. He could remember about the length of a sentence, so he could type something.

[37:50]

he could concentrate to the end of the sentence, but then after he finished the sentence, he couldn't remember the previous one. And somebody was, and he lived in a convent with, you know, with women, female monks, right? And somebody was making some derisive remark about him being so, you know, disabled. And I said, well, yeah, yeah, but you know, In the ceremony of the Eucharist, you know, he's really good. When he receives the body and the blood, he's completely there. And he gives himself entirely to it. Maybe he forgets a minute later that he had the communion, but he's really there communing with that wafer. And really, it's inspiring to see the light, you know, that happens at that moment when he's there like that.

[38:58]

So, all you got to do is, some of us are losing our memories, but it's okay. You don't have to remember it. You just have to be 100% here for this moment. And you can give yourself 100% to this moment. And that's where you give yourself. And that's where it works. And that's where you give yourself completely and you're met completely. It's a small-scale, limited experience that we're working with, but you can be 100% with it. And not only that, but since we have a ceremony, we can do it together. Because sometimes we forget to do it. So then we get together to remind each other. Oh, yeah. What is it again we're doing? We're doing... What is it? Ah, yeah. Tell me again. What is it? The Ancestor Samadhi. Okay, good. Thank you.

[39:59]

So that's the advantage of having a ceremony, is that we can remind each other about the ceremony that we'd like to do in order to heal the universe. And that this is proposing, these ancestors are proposing that this ceremony heals the universe and keeps the divine alive. And not just sitting, but anything, any ceremony that we do this way keeps the divine alive. And then the content of it, just to see if you've turned in the right station, the content of it is 95 fascicles of the Shovel Genzo. If you want to check out to see if that's the right ceremony, read those things. And if you understand them, you've got the right ceremony. Okay, ready, get set. Tim and then John and then Anna. I was just going to say something that you already said.

[41:04]

You use the word respond, and then you describe something that sounds a lot more like convenient, but then you use the word convenient. Respond almost sounds like there's this first and second before and after public effect or something. Communion seems more like together. Yeah, right. Yeah. It really is simultaneous. So then the ordinary idea of response doesn't apply. And yet the person who's making the effort does sometimes feel like they're sending a message to Buddha. And Buddha does respond, it's just that Buddha responds not later. So that's a different kind of response. As your tongue... And breath, make the... Make in your lips, make the... It's right there, you know. It's right there. So it's a funny kind... It's not a dualistic response. It's an inconceivable non-dual response. So if I'm thinking I'm being responsive, I might also just think I'm being communed with.

[42:06]

Yeah. Yeah, you can... You're being communed with, yeah. And also Buddha's being communed with. So you're touching the Buddha with your effort. The Buddha is, you know, enlivened by you. You, you know, you people are the light of Buddha. There's not some other Buddha besides you. There's no difference. So the language doesn't quite get it, but... John? Is that the same elephants and dragons as in the Shustos ceremony? Yeah, same lines. Yeah. Yeah, dragons and elephants, pretty much, yeah, real ones, right? And so the Shusō calls the real dragons and elephants to come and talk. And you people are the carved dragons and elephants to invoke the real dragons and elephants. Your questions, you know, I might as well mention right now, we're on the topic, a little instruction on asking questions in the Shusō ceremony.

[43:15]

First, have it be a question about practice. And also be about your practice. Something relevant to your practice. Not, you know, like if you open some book and find out about some practice, but you never do it, or you plan to do it next year, have it be about something that you're actually practicing. About practice and that you're doing. And also have it be about some aspect of practice that's not super esoteric. Like some of you might be working on something that no one else would understand, even though... you really are working on it right now that no one else would know what you're talking about. I mean, some of you might too. Okay, those three points, I think, are guidelines for asking the question. Okay? Another point is, almost more important than anything else is that you speak loudly so that people can hear. It doesn't matter if you so hear us, but it's important that the other people hear. Yeah.

[44:23]

Yeah. So really, much louder than you think. And if anybody talks too loudly, don't worry. It's okay. Almost never does anybody talk too loudly. And usually people talk too softly. And sometimes they start out loud and gradually it gets quieter and quieter. So please really try to speak loudly. And the other thing is, please... Bring the real dragon's elephants to the ceremony by your wholehearted effort. Besides, I don't usually mention that one, but since you brought it up, it'd be nice if they actually came to visit because they really felt that we wanted them to. Let's see. And then Anna. Anna. Yeah, right. So the form of this ceremony

[45:42]

This is also interesting. The form of the ceremony directly indicates this, you know, this frank or this reality. The nature of the ceremony, the form of the ceremony indicates directly reality. It points out what's reality. Reality is something you can't do, something you can't do by yourself, something that the other can't do. something that's inconceivable, yet something that can be realized, something that's helpful, and yet not something you can manipulate. So the quality of the ceremony, although you might not realize it all at the beginning, but as you get more and more in the ceremony, you realize the ceremony actually is indicating reality. It's actually indicating the Pentecost horizon. Ramon? Yes, I have another proposal for the word ceremony.

[46:47]

Yes. Well, in Latin, the first word cere stands for cerebral, cerebral. The second word for harmony. And so we think cerebran in Latin also could mean my, so my harmony would be another way to do that. Yeah. Mind is like a human thing, in harmony, like gi or righteousness. I think gi could also be translated as harmony, maybe. There's no distinction if you concentrate your effort single-mindedly. I was wondering, could that also be translated as wholeheartedly?

[47:52]

Could single-mindedly be translated as wholeheartedly? Yeah, or maybe... Definitely. Definitely. So you could have one practice samadhi. You could also have one mind samadhi. One mind samadhi or wholehearted samadhi. We had this class here this morning. We've had a few other classes. I'm just basically saying the same thing over and over. Zen is just basically being wholehearted.

[48:53]

It just means you have just wholehearted, wholehearted, one mind, one practice. Don't move. This is it. Deal with it. It's basically the same thing over and over again. Try to say it in many, many different ways. Ta-ta-ta, and train yourself at just what's happening. So simple and so hard to actually deal with this face, the way this face looks right now, in this heart, the way this heart feels, in these words, in this body, in this rain, in this temperature, and not get ahead or behind at all. That's called wholehearted, one mind, one practice, And so, okay? Pedro. Can you also say enthusiastically?

[49:53]

Can you also say enthusiastically? Definitely. Enthusiastic means that you're filled with God. Enthios. Enthios. Enthios. Enthusiasm means you're totally filled with God. Your heart is open. Your body and mind are open and you're filled with Buddha Dharma Sangha. You're filled with Bodhisattvas and Buddhas. You're full of Bodhisattvas and Buddhas. That's enthusiasm. Like Charlie Hinko is over studying with this guy named Harada Tangen Roshi. He says he's just like bubbling over with enthusiasm. Just bubbling over with triple treasures. You know, ridiculously enthusiastic. Just silly. This is getting silly, this Buddhism. At least the way you do it. You're too wholehearted.

[50:58]

Eleanor? You were talking about merit in regards to response and requests coming up together. Yeah, I did say the merit or virtue of, for example, the ceremony of Zazen is realized in that communion. That's what the Dogen quotes. I have this idea of merit being something that is acquired. Merit often applies... Merit often applies to karma. If you do wholesome karma, there is merit for that too. But the merit of taking refuge, the actuality of taking refuge is not karma. But there's still, in a sense, a merit or a virtue or a benefit that comes from actual dharma practice, which is not karma.

[51:59]

I think Stuart wants to say something here about that. So think of that being a good karmic activity, but it isn't that taking refuge happens in two dimensions at once, that there's our idea of taking refuge, and that's good karmic activity, and the actuality of taking refuge, which isn't. Right. So you could be saying, I take refuge in Buddha, and you could feel that you're doing the karmic act of speaking, but the actual unsurpassable dharma of enlightenment at that moment, which is meeting you, that's inconceivable. Thank you. It's extra, yeah.

[53:09]

It's extra. That's why that guy who couldn't exactly remember what he's doing there or how he got in the room, all he sees is this wafer coming. And not for long, even. Doesn't see much of a trail of the wafer. He's just kind of wafer. Wafer, wafer, wafer. New wafer's coming at him, you know. Whereas we maybe see the wafer coming all the way out of the thing. Just wafer. In a whole new world, wafer. So that thing about, well, I came into the church to do communion. Here comes the priest. That whole story can drop away into the actual present moment of just white. And just taste. But we can have that story. It's okay. But again, the inconceivable thing is, I do this and then that happens. That's the merit of karma. I do this and there's that. That's conceivable cause and effect, right? But the inconceivable merit is simultaneous.

[54:14]

So as you say, I... The merit's right there. When you say I, what merit is there in saying I... As in, I take refuge. Take. What merit is there? What's there? It's the merit of take. Right there, that's it. Well, you can't see it other than the take. But that is the kind of merit of the actual Dharma of enlightenment. And once again, one might be suspicious of that. Like, well, who cares? I want something that I can get a hold of, like... I, and then everybody says, good going, Rev, nice going, that was a really good I. Take, oh, how beautiful, that was a great wholehearted take. Refuge, ooh, here's your rocks. This is karma, this is cause and effect, this is suffering. It's high-quality suffering. It's kind of like there's a joy in that kind of karma.

[55:17]

Well, here I am, being a good Buddhist, that's nice. Taking refuge, practicing the precepts, that's nice. Everybody's happy, pretty much, as long as I stay with that. If I get off that, I'm in trouble, but as long as I keep doing that, that's pretty good. Rocks may fall down from the sky, but until then, it's pretty happy. This is not Dharma practice. Strictly speaking, Dharma practice is you say something, that's the reward. The reward of practice is the practice at that moment. That's what Tim was saying. It's confusing. So now that I said it, forget it. Okay? So now you're not confused anymore, okay? Congratulations. And then, Tim, I think, you had your hand raised a little while ago. like the Zazen practice and the ceremony when I'm not at Zen Center is reminding me of a ceremony.

[56:29]

It's maybe like a couple more like walk down wherever I am. And then there's the Zazen. And it's sort of like, I'm just wondering when you talk about the ceremony of Zazen and Lucendo, it seems like there's a lot of what I call mundane or like very sort of obvious ceremonial aspects. Yeah. Talk a little bit about. I don't know. Do you understand what I'm getting at? Well, I understand. I have a lot of different possibilities there. Do you want me to say something before I'm sure? Before you what? Before I'm sure. Yeah, go ahead. That thing about the ceremony for encouraging zazen, that's a ceremony in the sense that, you know, it does have an established form which we agree on, and there's certain advantages of having a ceremony like that, which I mentioned in the article, a few of them.

[57:35]

The advantages are that you can sense that you're doing with other people. So even if you do the ceremony by yourself in the woods, you can feel like you're doing with Buddhists all over the world. And also, if they see you, they sense that communion. If you're doing it in a zendo, you can get feedback on your ceremony. If you're practicing it out in the woods or in the street, if you're practicing zazen, but without the traditional ceremonial form, you're not necessarily publicly saying, I'm doing this ceremony so people don't necessarily give you feedback on your ceremony. Because they don't see it as a ceremony. They don't see it as an established, customary way of performing a religious act. So in that way, some people have trouble accessing or expressing their appreciation for your practice. Whereas if you do it in a ritual form... then people can help you with that.

[58:38]

Either they can say, thanks, because you're doing that encourages me, and or they can say, how can you do it this way or that way? So that's the advantages of the ceremony. But what I'm saying there, part of the article, is that there's advantages to the ceremony, but that doesn't mean it's right or wrong. It's just right or wrong in terms of the ceremony. And the ceremony provides a way for you to get feedback on whether you're doing that ceremony 100%. Once you learn to do the ceremony 100%, although you may be doing the practice of zazen actually outside the ceremony somewhere, you know what 100% means. But most people have trouble finding 100% without a little help. They think, well, that was 100%. And then somebody says, well, what was 100%? And then they maybe say, well, blah, blah, what's 100%? And the person may say, oh, well, that may be so, I have no idea. But if you would do this activity and you would say, that was 100%, then I could give you some feedback.

[59:41]

Because I know what it looks like sort of when somebody does this 100%. So you say, okay, I'll try that. And you say, well, do you think that was 100%? And you say, yeah. And I say, well, what about this? You say, oh, I did overlook that. I was sort of like flinching there a little bit. If you watch a million people go into cold water, maybe not a million, but if you watch 10,000 people one by one go into cold water and you talk to them about what it's like, you know what it looks like when somebody goes into the water with full presence every inch of the way. You know what that looks like. You learn that. Also, you do it. You know it from inside and outside. Then if you see someone come, a beginner or whatever, come and then you see them enter the water, you can help them. And if they say that was 100%, you can say, do it again. And they go into the water, you say, how about right there? Do you feel that? And they say, no, it's true, I spaced out. You can learn that. So that's a ceremony called entering cold water, by which someone could get trained at entering without, for a moment, getting scared, without, for a moment, trying to be somewhere else, without, for a moment, like, turning away from that cold.

[60:56]

The same with the sitting. We have ways of sensing over the years of practice with people. We have a sense of way to give people feedback. Basically asking a question, are you there? Are you there? Are you there? They're sitting there saying, yeah, I'm practicing Zaza. And then you touch them and they say, oops. Or just, you know, people are sitting Zaza and the teacher walks in the room and they realize I wasn't present. You know, Suzuki or she walks in the room, they go. He wasn't an ogre, but they just sort of, when they saw the little guy come in the room, they just feel like, oh, I wasn't sitting up straight. They thought, maybe they thought they were, you know. You used to do the koan in the morning that was such a thing for me. But, oh, I wasn't there. Yeah. And you might have thought you were. And sometimes you might even come and say, I'm here. And teacher says, congratulations. And you realize you weren't. Gee, that's great.

[61:59]

Whoops. You know? So, but the form, the form of coming in the room and saying I'm here, that ritual form offers the opportunity for someone to say, oh. You know? Or I'm sitting up straight. Oh. You know, like, oh, I didn't know that was straight. That's news to me. Wow, geez, that looked crooked or whatever. But, you know, this is amazing. The world's come, this is now straight. Oh, I see. Or whatever, you know. The point is, it's feedback in a ritual container and it helps us wake up to whether we're really 100% or not. It's just, you know, a mirror. And when we finally realize 100% and get confirmed and the confirmation doesn't disconfirm us, We're really subtle in what that feels like. We have a taste of suchness. Then you go outside the ritual.

[63:00]

You go outside the ceremony, into the street. There's no ceremony. Nobody knows what you're doing or who you are. But you know, you know kind of like I'm off. Nobody else knows, but you know, I was off. That wasn't right. This is not my wholehearted effort. Even though other people might say, boy, that was really great, Tim. You say... The problem about going out in places like that is sometimes you think you are doing fine and nobody knows that you're not coming up to your own standards. Yeah, in a way they are. They're even more important because, yeah, that's right. Because in the monastery, once we get intimate with each other, we can kind of tell what's happening with each other without being in a zendo. Just walking around Tassahara, once you see the pattern in a zendo, you don't need it anymore in some ways.

[64:03]

So it's true. Here we can, like, You know, we can be in more ordinary situations and still spot each other. But I think you all heard that statement that Siddhartha said, if I go to a party, or which way to put it, if I see you in a zendo, you know, each one of your posture looks different. You're all trying to do the same thing, so each of you look different. It doesn't mean that you're right or wrong, but just each one's different, and then each one you can see, this is their way of doing the same thing. And then, is this their wholehearted way or their half-hearted way? Is this their sleepy way or their awake way? And sometimes, if you know a person, you might feel like, gee, that looks like sleepy way. So we used to use a stick, and before we hit the person, we put the stick on their shoulder. And sometimes you put a stick on somebody's shoulder, and they would get angry because they would think, you know, I'm awake. And maybe sometimes they're right, you know, like you're sitting there and you hear the person come.

[65:05]

Boom, boom, boom. And you feel the stick coming through the air and you can feel every little, you know, eddy in the wind as it comes down to your shoulder. And you feel it land on your shoulder. At that time, probably you are awake. You know? This is like, you know, what is this about? And maybe they'll take their hand off your shoulder at that time. Oops. Oops, this person's awake. I'm sorry. But sometimes, you know, you're sitting there, and they put the stick down, and as soon as it touches, you say, great. Thank you. You know, you thought you were awake, but it touches you. Yep. And then, of course, more extreme examples are, what's that bird doing on my shoulder? So sometimes you, you know, this is the thing.

[66:10]

And then that's what the training is about. The training is to give you a sense of what suchness is. to help you develop a surreal, physical, total body experience of what it's like to be such. And then the idea is, then leave the temple. Su Grisha said over and over, the point of our practice is to extend this into daily life. It's not just that we'll all stay in the zendo, all kind of like hunkered down on suchness, all happy, you know. It's that we get up and walk out of the zendo and carry that into the street and stay just as present and calm as we're running around as we are in the zendo. That was his main emphasis. That's the point of Zen, not to stay in the monastery, but extend that. But if you haven't found it yet, then, you know, it's hard for you to extend it because you don't know what it is.

[67:12]

So that's why we have these places to get an actual realization of this one practice, one mind, wholehearted samadhi. and the ceremony is to help us. But again, the ceremony is just a ceremony and we should understand that, that eventually the practice is not restricted to that ceremony. But ceremony is really important and even the Buddha, as I told you before, the Buddha kept doing the ceremonies he did, the ritual forms he did to realize the way, he kept doing them after he realized the way. And then he rhetorically asks, well, if people see me doing this practice, they may think, well, you haven't realized the way because you're still doing the ceremony to realize the way. He said, but it's not true. I have realized the way. I keep doing it because I like it. Ceremony is fun for me now that I realize the way. It's one of the fun things to do.

[68:16]

It's fun. And also I do it to set an example for future generations because people who haven't need something usually. And there's many forms, but this is one. And again, in Tassahara, in whatever Zen center, you decide in a form. It's not the right way. It's just the way of your teacher. So that, you know, you were trained this way and you can train others, but it's not only way, it's just a way. But we have to be clear about what the way is so we can, you know, be clear about whether it's 100% or not. You can't help people with 100% on things you don't know about. If you haven't gone into the water, the cold water, many times and seen many people go in the cold water many times, you might, unless you've done something else like that, you might not be able to tell what it looks like for somebody to do that.

[69:17]

You might not know, or even though you might not, even though you might know what it looks like, you don't necessarily know how to ask them questions about it. Because you haven't been asked yourself by your teacher, excuse me, could I ask you a question? So the skill develops through the ceremony, but it's just a ceremony, and we don't need it. Except we just keep wanting to do it. And we maybe need to do it for others. Okay? Any other comments? Eric? Do you think you want to bring back the stick? Bring it back? Not that I... I really appreciate the reason why you gave it up and threw it away. I don't mind it. But at the same time, I can't deny that it was the way to count and exclude it. Yeah. Well, let's see.

[70:20]

A few... I think the last practice period, the one before, some people wanted... I think Jennifer wanted the stick to be carried. So I carried it one period, and on this side of the Zendo, I carried it, but people didn't know I was carrying it. And then finally one person, when I'd almost finished this side, one person realized I had the stick and asked for it. And then everybody on the other side asked for it, every single person. And some of the people had never experienced a stick before. And then I carried it another period, and nobody asked for it. They just wanted to experience it. Was anybody there that time? Huh? It was more than once? Anyway, that one time, everybody on that one side asked for it. But the thing is, it does offend some people, so it's kind of hard to do it if it offends people. But I don't know what happened that time anyway. There wasn't any big problem. Huh?

[71:23]

Did some people leave? Anyway, the stick can be very helpful. Sometimes it has been helpful. But I think also we're not attached to helpful things, right? All of our skillful devices we're willing to give up. Even especially the most skillful, most helpful ones, the most precious Dharma methods. Those are the ones we have to give up. Which is one of the reasons why we keep those secrets so nobody will know to remind us to give them up. So that's the ceremony. It's a ceremony which you can... which you can do, which you can enjoy, which you can give yourself to, which you can be devoted to, which you can practice dualistically, which you can practice non-dualistically, but you can't do non-dualistically.

[72:33]

It's a practice which all the Buddhas appreciate you doing. They've sent various thank-you cards. I haven't shown them to you, but I've gotten several in the mail. And so this is something to, like, I guess for each of us to see if we can to go and practice the ceremony with 100% devotion. And also the ceremony of service, the ceremony of bowing, the ceremony of receiving food in the zendo and eating in the zendo, the ceremony of serving, the ceremony of dogsan, all these ceremonies can we give ourselves 100% to at least that moment. One of the things, again, if I think, about having a meeting with whatever number of people come here in the morning, I think, how would I be able to meet 40 or 50 people? How could I do that? If I think of that, I don't feel very comfortable.

[73:37]

So I don't. I don't think of meeting 40 or 50 people. I think of meeting one person. I don't even think of meeting one person. I think of meeting one person in one moment. If I stay focused on that, it's okay. If I think of even one person for five whole minutes, it's too much. But to think of several people, I found that that makes me kind of like, what do you call, abhor or be afraid of folks on myself. Like, how can I meet? How can I be up for that? So I don't. I just try to do it in the moment. I'm not saying I'm able to, but that's my effort. Just to do it in the moment. So can you be 100% in the moment in the zendo? Can you be 100% when you enter the zendo? Can you be 100% when you take your seat? Can you be 100%, 100%, 100%? If not, confess. Hey, that wasn't 100%. That's enough. Go back. 100%, 100%, 100%.

[74:39]

If you don't think you are, you're right. It's also possible to be 106% too. That's also not really appropriate. There's a few people here a little bit too enthusiastic. They're overfilled with God. What does it feel like? How would you feel? Well, he might not be willing to give it up. That's a pretty common sign. You're sitting in zazen, and it's, like, really good. You're really there. Plus, it's even, like, even a little bit better than really good and really there. Like, you're really there. And then the bell rings, and kind of like, no, I'll sit a little longer. Just a second. Just a... Okay.

[75:43]

Not to mention, you know, I think I'll sit all the way through Kini. So, you heard that story. She said, when I sit Zazen, sometimes I sit there and I could sit forever. You know that feeling? Once in a while that happens, like, okay, this is fine. All right. No complaints. But when the bell rings, I get up. The perfection of meditation is realized by giving up the bliss of meditation. And being wholehearted is extremely blissful. But when it's 100%, not more, when it's really 100%, there's nobody to hold to it, so you can give it up. And just to prove, actually give it up.

[76:47]

Yes, it's inconceivable. That's right, because your knowing has been thrown into the 100%. It isn't like... What's extra? No, no, the knowing's there too. It's just been thrown into the 100%. Yeah. I didn't say you could. I just said you don't take knowing and put it someplace else. Knowing is thrown into that too. So you're still a perfectly, you know, what do you call it, a knowledgeable person, but your knowledge is not like outside looking back at your practice. Right. You're still sitting there knowing whatever you're knowing, but the knowing is part of the devotion.

[77:50]

Nothing is outside anymore. So there's no outside knowing 100%. Just like there's no outside knowing, depending on the horizon. So 100% is inconceivable enlightenment. And these forms and rituals are just like training wheels For the inconceivable training wheels to be 100% so we can help each other. It's not just the teacher that helps you with 100%. All your friends help you too, you know, by bumping into you and doing things with you. All your friends help you by offering you their bodies to see if you think you're doing it better than them or worse than them. Okay? That's part of the way you tune in to 100% is by seeing if there's any comparative activity here. And if there is, take that comparative activity and put that on the altar too. Don't smash it or get rid of it. Just take, oh, comparative activity? Okay, now give that to Zazen. Give that to the way.

[78:52]

Everything. Give everything to the way and don't give too much. Just give what it is. That's all. So now we're ready for Marianne's question at last. So you're choosing between I do the practice In the dependent core arising of the practice? Well, tell me about how you choose the dependent core arising method.

[79:59]

Sounds good. So the eye is choosing to meditate on the dependent core arising, and you see the dependent core arising of the eye. Is that what you're saying? Mm-hmm. Sounds good. But then there's also a place of responsibility of that eye not to see a different dependent core arising, but I'm responsible for that eye doing it. Well, in the story you just told me, there wasn't an eye doing it. There was a dependently core arisen eye. that wasn't doing anything, but the eye was appreciating the independent core rising of itself and everything else. That's what I thought you said. So now you're going to bring that eye out of that matrix back into being separate and doing karma again? You can do that if you want. It's never too late to return to the world of karma. You're always welcome back. The devil's waiting to welcome you. Is that what you mean? Yeah, don't worry.

[81:02]

You can always come back. And then when you come back, you're responsible for going back to power. If you've got power, then you're responsible for how you use it. If you've given it up, you're not responsible because you're not using it. Even though there's this, you know, responsible in the sense that there is the ability to respond, we have within us the ability to respond. It's just a question of whether you're owning it, like you own it and you're separate from that ability, or whether your nature is that you have the ability to respond. And all things actually have this responsive ability. It's our nature rather than a possession of ours. And if you watch yourself and others, you'll be able to see perhaps that the level of responding that's going on is far too intense and fast-moving for anybody to be engineering it.

[82:23]

But it is possible to catch up with it and write it. That's possible. I suppose that. You can't really control this horse, but you can ride it. You can ride it, but you can't control the quantity of sweat that comes out of each pore of the horse and exactly how much slobber is coming out of the mouth you can't control that but you can ride the horse and you can be intimate with this animal in its totality even though you can't control any of it so nobody can control it anyway but somebody can try to control the amount the horse is sweating I suppose

[83:27]

But that's a miserable life, I feel. I'd rather just be intimate with the horse and deal with the sweat rather than trying to control the sweat. And then occasionally we can take vacations from suchness and go back to the world of karma to visit. You won't forget.

[84:19]

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