This next period of practice here coming up is about six or seven weeks and the theme for this time will be Buddhist psychology, study of consciousness and how it comes up and develops and turns into trouble and how it can be seen and understood and liberated from its troubles. Case 37 just turns out is quite apropos of this study because it's about karmic consciousness. However, before getting to case 37, there's case 36, which is the actual dialogue of the case is, is simpler.

[01:02]

And also, I don't have the feeling yet of where you're at on that case. So I have to check on you now, OK? See how you're doing on case 36? OK. So let's see. Do two people know the story pretty well? Two people? Two people want to know it? Raise their hands, please. Oh, good. I'm glad we didn't skip over it. Well, then, would two people be willing to come up here and sit here and act out the case? Or stay where they are and act out the case?

[02:04]

One volunteer. Is this 36 you're talking about? Yes. 36. Two. OK. Let's see. You're a senior to Petra. So you'd be Master Ma, OK? And, Petra, you be the superintendent of the monastery, okay? The lord of the monastery. And the background on this case is that Master Ma is not feeling well. And this is an understatement. He's feeling, he's on the verge of death. And it literally says he's not at peace, you know, or not feeling at ease. He's having a hard time. A great master, but he's still kind of not really all that relaxed at the present moment.

[03:07]

So the superintendent comes to check him out, to see how he's doing. And so they have this dialogue. How was your venerable state these days? Sanctus Pura, Lumpus Pura. That's the case. Whoa. And I, next week, if we do get to case 37 next week, I don't think we'll get there this week because of that son of a carry maid. I'd like to I thought it would be good to split up into about 30 small groups and have everybody dialogue back and forth with the story so you have a feeling for it play both parts and that's one way to act out a story is simply to act out the story to say the words and to imagine to get to how you'd feel saying these words and hearing these words

[04:33]

This case also appears in the Blue Cliff Record. As most of you probably know, it's case three in the Blue Cliff Record. And the verse celebrating that case is one of my favorite verses. But before we get to that verse, I'd like to read you the introduction to that case. How many of you have read the introduction to that case? Please raise your hands. Quite a few. Anybody memorize it? OK, well, Cleary's translation is, one device, one object. One word, one phrase. The intent is that you'll have a place to enter.

[05:49]

But still, this is gouging out a wound in healthy flesh. It can become a nest or a den. The great function appears without abiding in by fixed principles. The intent is that you will realize there is something beyond. It covers the sky and covers the earth, yet you cannot, yet it cannot be grasped. This is, this way will do. Not this way will do too. This is too diffuse. This way won't do. Not this way won't do either. This is also cut off. Without treading these two paths, what would be right?

[06:57]

Please test. I thought that the first four words of this introduction are very important. One, it says one device, one object. And the word for device there is this word that is in my name, you know, Zenki. The word ki, it has one ki. And one object is a word which we've seen We saw it when we were studying case 32, mind and environment. It's that character for environment. It's a word that they use to translate Sanskrit artha, which means an object, but also means an objective field. It also means the realm where we project substantial existence onto things.

[08:04]

So object's okay, but it's not just object, it's object that you project some objective reality onto. So one key, one... And this word key, in this case, could mean device. The device, you know, of this teacher, right? So as soon as Matsu does anything... then there's something in the world that people have to deal with. And this word key, it's sometimes translated as activity, opportunity, energy, occasion. It's kind of a transparent word in a sense.

[09:13]

So as I mentioned to some people this morning, if you're talking about consciousness, then the opportunity of consciousness is thinking or intellect. If you're talking about wind, it's movement. If you're talking about fire, it's a perfecting power of heat. In other words, it's the opportunity of a particular situation. So one opportunity or one key, and there's one expression from that key, one expression from that device, from that opportunity, from that energy. Now, they sometimes use the image to express this key or this opportunity as like drawing a bow.

[10:21]

The bow is just sitting there on the ground. It has some potential energy just by being something in the world to use. But when you pull the bow a little bit, its potential energy increases. And the idea is that at that when you pull the bow all the way, it makes a moon. It reaches its optimum potential. And that's called Zenki. The complete opportunity or the completion of the opportunity, the complete full function of this bow. And now it's ready to do its job. And then something can arise from that. Now, something good.

[11:24]

So this is like the, you could say, the positive potential of concentration or of samadhi. This weekend we had a workshop where we were hiking at the beginning of the workshop, one of the people said that, I think he said he was gonna either watch or that he hoped he was either gonna watch himself or hope that he wouldn't manage himself into not being present. And so I took that cue, I thought that was a good thing to look for, and I watched my own body, and I noticed that this strange thing of, you know, you can be sitting here or wherever, like we could be sitting here right now, and notice, you know, that you may not be as, somehow you may not be completely present.

[12:30]

You may not really feel like your knees are in line with your knees and your abdomen's in line with your abdomen. And your heart's like, and your heart and your breath is like right on top of the breath. And your thinking is right with your thinking. You may feel a little holding. I felt a little holding in my thighs and around the muscles in my knee. I felt a little holding. I was a little bit holding myself away from there. And then I let go of that and I felt like I came back to my legs. So we have this I mean, the bow's got energy potential at various points, you know, but there is a fullness of the potential of the bow. There is a fullness of the potential of your legs. There is a fullness of the potential of your consciousness. And I suggested to the people in that workshop that they try to discern between action which is restlessness and action which is coming from

[13:39]

that you really want to do something. Rather than action which is kind of like a little bit ahead of when you've actually settled, which is really an expression of unwillingness to be here, and action which is, I'm really here and I really want to do this, I really want to say something. To discern between action which is an expression of not waiting long enough until the bow is drawn all the way. Action which is an expression of nervousness and unwillingness to be settled with this restlessness, this uneasiness. That's one thing. And the other thing is you're settled with, even maybe settled with the uneasiness, and you still wanna do something. Sometimes when, if I do settle, I don't wanna do anything.

[14:45]

And just before I settled, I thought maybe I did. But when I settled, I realized it was nervousness. So I watched that, the difference between this fullness and the actions which arise from resistance to the situation, resistance to this opportunity. Now it's interesting that in the Chinese, as I said, for this Master Ma was not well. He wasn't at ease. Maybe he was having trouble being completely settled in his final illness. But when the superintendent came, I guess the proposal of the Zen school is that Master Ma settled. And when he spoke, That was an expression that came from this fully drawn bow. And what he spoke was this phrase, sun-faced, moon-faced Buddha, which has become this, for some reason or other, this phrase which has this tremendous creative opportunity, which I don't know how much he'd been working with it.

[16:06]

I myself have been thinking about the image of the Sun-Faced Buddha and Moon-Faced Buddha a little bit, and the more I think about it, the more I respect what he said, and the more I realize what an amazing thing it is that he said that. This expression, Sun-Faced Buddha and the expression Moon-Faced Buddha, existed prior to him. You can find it in some sutras where they have lists of names of Buddhas and Bodhisattvas. He didn't make up the name, but he pulled it out at that time of that question, and for some reason or other it stands like this monument in the history of our school. I guess what I'm pointing to at this time is this work, the work of drawing the boat and experiencing the fullness of an opportunity and then watching to see when the action emerges and look at what kind of a opportunity that is, what kind of a fruit or...

[17:46]

device, not device, object that will be in the world. And then notice, however, it says right after that, that the point of doing this, the point of expressing this is, in this case, is to provide, the intent is to provide a place to enter. When you're settled, I shouldn't say when you're settled, when I'm settled, I guess the main thing I want to share with people is access to being settled. And somehow it is possible to speak from there and then provide a door to your own state. Not to your own state, but to your own practice. And there is an interest in doing that. However, when you do that, it's like gouging out flesh, healthy flesh. It can turn into that. It can turn into a nest. You don't mean it to be a nest, you mean it to be a point of access to this Zenki, to this total opportunity, to this whole works.

[18:57]

That's what you mean it to be. Especially when you are the whole works, you mean it to be that. When birth is the whole works, when death is the whole works, and you're with that, then your expression is to provide access to that world But then it can become a problem for people, as this case has become a problem for us to some extent. But we don't have to make it a problem. We can just remember what it's trying to show us the entry into. Okay? Now, before we have discussion, I just want to read this wonderful verse Sun-faced Buddha, moon-faced Buddha. How can the ancient emperors compare to this?

[20:00]

For 20 years, I've struggled bitterly. How many times have I gone down into the Green Dragon Cave for you clear eyed patch gold monks do not take this lightly there is a dragon cave deep in the ocean and there's a jewel there and a dragon guards it. We have to go down to the depths of the ocean and go up to the dragon and retrieve this jewel from under its chin and bring it back to provide a way for people to enter the way.

[21:14]

For you can mean that this monk did this for you, or Matsu, Master Ma, did this for the superintendent. But also you could read it as for himself, for the superintendent, and for all of us. And everybody has to find their own way down there. And I don't mean to look down upon you. I don't mean it that way. And I also don't mean to take responsibility for your practice. But anyway, I wonder sometimes if we're going down into that cave here. So I'm not complaining, really.

[22:23]

You know, like Galen told this story about this monastery where she was at, where everybody had their own code that the teacher would use to call them. You'd hit these sticks together, and, you know, one hit meant the director, is that right? Ajisha. Ajisha. Two hits meant the ahanja, or what? Two hits meant the director. Two hits meant the director, three hits the cook or something, or the eno. Is eno three hits? Yes. Tenzo, yeah, Ino was three hits. Ino was three hits, Tenzo four hits, you know. And then all the main officers had, you know, they had hits from one to nine. So as soon as you heard one of those hits, the jishi had it easy, just listen for a second, and it's one, you go. But the other people, like the ninth officer, had to listen for nine hits. And you couldn't wait for a couple of hits to start listening, right? You had to start listening right away. So as soon as that thing went off, these people had to do this hard thing of listen.

[23:25]

And then the people who were less senior, then there was an art symbol where they had a sort of introductory thing, and then they went from one to nine. So they had to listen for all that. And the most junior monk, which was Galen, had to listen to the whole thing. But by the time it got there, by the time it had been going for a long time, she knew she was possible. If there was only one hit, she could stop. Everybody could stop after one hit. But anyway, everybody had to listen to that stuff, right? I guess if he missed the first time, then he'd get another try, right? If nobody came, if the person he was calling didn't come, then he'd get another chance. But anyway, you know, I mean, I hate to bring this up, but, you know, we're on here. Even if somebody could figure out you were calling them, they'd say, well, it doesn't work for my schedule.

[24:28]

Which is fine, you know. That's difficult, too. That's a kind of difficulty. But what is the difficulty? Where is the... In what way do we... What opportunities do we have here what opportunities are we providing each other are you drawing the bow of your own state to its fullness and then offering it to people it isn't just the you know the the old master that's doing this everybody has this opportunity moment by moment and that's that's also what the sun face buddha moon face buddha is about You know, one image of the sun-faced Buddha is there's a sun, right? The Buddha's face is like the sun and the sun, the sun's up in the sky and then the sun, when the sun's setting, even at that last moment, just before it sinks, you know, it's a wonderful thing, that last moment, just before it sinks, just before it starts to die.

[25:40]

So Master Ma is dying, and there's just this wonderful radiance of his last moments. And his last moments, in one sense, the sun face of his last moments is that it's like 18,000 years the sun face Buddha lives. In other words, eternity. And you can see that side of the Buddha's face. And there is that, in every moment, there is that presentation. And on the other side is the sun-faced Buddha, the moon-faced Buddha, which is We don't usually watch the glory of the moon setting. It's more like the moon up in the sky. Not necessarily at the highest point, but the moon's up in the sky.

[26:45]

It's not there all forever. It has its own short-lived quality, which is also characteristic of our moment-by-moment expressions, that it's short-lived. that we have a short life. So Master Ma actually demonstrates, in fact, just like we all do, the fleeting quality of him and the eternal quality of him. For him, as a Buddha, is an eternal and a fleeting thing simultaneously. And this was his expression for us. So... But it says, you know, this sun-faced Buddha, this moon-faced Buddha is extremely difficult to see, this sun-faced Buddha and moon-faced Buddha.

[27:58]

So we're being offered something by this ancestor and by this story, which is we're being offered something which is extremely difficult to see. And this is how he was at that time. So part of Zen concentration practice is to concentrate on this, on the fullness of this expression, the fullness of the moment. Try to find some way to feel, is the bow drawn a little bit? Is the bow drawn all the way? Have you reached at this moment, and now this moment, and now this moment, have you reached the full potential? Are you living with this kind of samadhi?

[29:22]

Are you going down, getting down to that work? Are we getting down to that complete work? And if not, then we practice confession for our partial efforts, for our resistance, for our lack of faith. And hopefully that makes us a little bit more serious so we can, you know, get a little better traction and be more thorough in this samadhi And again, I'm talking about this now, but the point, it's to offer a point of entry. It's not to make this into a nest or a den. So that's part of the difficulty is you can't get too heavy either and start camping out and make some kind of fixed principle here.

[30:31]

And I've seen some very sincere people respond to this kind of gesture, you know, and be to resist by being too enthusiastic, in a sense, by putting too much energy into it. Most people don't put enough in, but some people overdo it, which in some ways is more irritating. But still endearing. Thank you. Just like when we were studying case 32, people trying to think of the mind which thinks, you know, and getting various kinds of headaches and so on. It's endearing because you know they're trying. You don't get the headache from not trying. You can tell they're trying by their stories. So they misunderstood the instruction, but you could tell that they made the effort by what they reported.

[31:40]

Some other people didn't even try. It's not really, they're both kinds of resistances. So that's my kind of review of this case, and I wondered, I wondered if you have any, what do you call it, any vows here that you wish to express concerning the somati of this case? the sun-faced Buddha, moon-faced Buddha, samadhi. Yes? Do you think it would make any difference if you said it the other way around? If you said moon-faced Buddha, sun-faced Buddha? I think it would make a difference, yeah. So the order is very important. Yep. Linda?

[32:42]

I recently came across a translation of the word venerable Sanskrit as, I think it's ayus, A-Y-U-S. You mean the Sanskrit root? Well, when you say venerable, it's what you're... Oh, I see. Translated in English, it actually is this Sanskrit word ayus, which means full of life. So I was wondering if... If you're Japanese, this venerable carries that thing about life. I don't know. I don't remember what the character is. I can't remember the character. I'll check it. Venerable, by the way, in English is etymologically related to Venus. It's related to love. I used to think of venerable as kind of a cold word, but I was happy to find out that it has this association with Venus, Aphrodite.

[33:55]

In the 7th century, the venerable bead is much beloved. Mm-hmm. Pray up here, Stephen. Thank you. It's a word which has more to do, when they say the world-honored one, it has more to do, I think usually translated as honor. But, you know, honor, veneration is a kind of very high, intense form of honor, or honoring, or respecting. When you say world-honored one, that's the character they use. They use a word for world, and then this character here, And then the next character means his position or his standing.

[34:57]

Miriam? Good. Would you care to vocalize an example of your confession? Well, I should be sitting more. It comes across pretty should. Okay, well, there you go. That does not necessarily have to be guilty that you said that. You can also drop the should and say, I'm not sitting fully. You can just say that. I'm not fully sitting. That's a kind of confession of the lack of rounding out your effort. You can just let it go at that.

[36:03]

Or you could say, I'm not sitting fully and I feel kind of, I feel regretful or somewhat, some sadness around that. It's okay. But then there's also this kind of a gaining idea, oh, I sat more and... Then you confess that too, and I have a gaining idea about this. And I don't trust myself when I have a gaining idea. Maybe you might feel that too. This doesn't sound too bad, this particular type of talk, this particular type of confession. And then another part of it is that I actually, you know, you've worked yourself up to being able to actually say, and I'm I'm in the future, I'm not going to make partial efforts anymore.

[37:09]

I don't even say the future, just say I'm not going to make partial efforts anymore. And then if you say, and I don't believe that, then you say, and you see, I don't have faith. I have some faith, but I lack in faith. that I could say that in yourself yes exactly your mind then reflexes over to the future and which is another example of lack of faith that you don't trust that you can say something right now just like when we say to people at the ordination ceremony we say will you receive these precepts and they say yes And then we say, after we finish giving them, and then we cite them, and we say, even after, from now on, like from now, will you continually observe this precept? From now, will you continually observe this precept?

[38:21]

They say yes. From now on, will you continually observe this precept? They say yes. You said yes. Even until achieving Buddhahood, and even after attaining Buddhahood, will you continually observe the precept? And you said yes. Now, maybe there was a flicker in your mind when you said yes, making, well, I don't know, are they going to do this? But anyway, that's just another thing to confess and go back to start again. All my ancient twisted karma, an example of twisted karma is, I can't do that, or I can do that. Thinking that you can't, Thinking that you can't do it is karma. They're both karma. You confess, I've been thinking that I can and cannot do things for a long time. I confess that. Now that I've confessed that, I'm ready to say yes. Now, maybe even between my confession and when I get asked, even before I say yes, I may commit more karma.

[39:24]

So, if you get asked, if there's a gap between your confession and when you get asked, you may have to say, just a second, and clear the decks again. The proposal here is that the practice we're doing here actually clears away all your karma. Now, karmic thinking... case 37, karmic thinking is, how could that clear away all my karma? That's another example of karmic thinking. That thought is another act of karma. Hesitation is karma. Okay? So then you confess, oh, there's hesitation. So I just confessed and now I'm hesitating about my confession. Well, you just confessed again. Yeah. Now, when you first confess by that formula, you confess more than you can talk about, more than you can even identify. You confess it all, even though you don't know about it, you confess. Then right after that, you may start noticing some karmas come up. Confess those as they happen. The proposal here is they have a practice.

[40:29]

The practice that's being proposed here is a practice which is called repentance or confession, and it actually... wipes it all away. It doesn't mean that it doesn't have any effects. It means that it wipes it away. And then you say, yes, I will. So I have not, I am not practicing fully. I am not completely present. That's my opinion. That's my thoughts. Or I think I am practicing fully. That's my opinion. That's my thoughts. I confess both those things. Now I'm ready to to be present. Thinking that you've drawn the bow completely is not drawing the bow completely. Thinking that you haven't drawn the bow completely is not drawing the bow completely. Thinking that you haven't drawn the bow completely can be a bow that is drawn completely.

[41:30]

In the thought, I have not completely become present, that thought is another opportunity that can be fully drawn. There's no opportunity that is not full. Liberation is the fullness of every opportunity, including the opportunity of my practice is not so good. My practice is very good. My practice is medium. No matter what you think about your practice, your practice is always actually a fully drawn bow. It's always a full moon. Any thought is actually completely round and full. That's the opportunity of that thought. Any muscle, any muscular expression, any sensation you have is a fully drawn bow. And the bow can stay drawn, in a sense, for eternity, or it can go off right away.

[42:40]

Now, it may be that you have to confess in order to be sincere enough to enter into this samadhi that I'm describing. You may have to say, I can't do this samadhi. In other words, I'm lazy. I'm now expressing my laziness by saying, this is too hard for me. That's called laziness of self-disparagement. So you say that, and then you confess that you talk that way about yourself. I don't have much faith, also, you can see by what I just said in myself. Okay, confess that. Pretty soon you're ready to practice this samadhi. If you are willing to be one of these one of these fully drawn opportunities. But it's hard to get down there and to swim through all this entanglement of these thoughts, I'm not so good, I'm fairly good, I'm really bad, I'm better than her but not as good as him.

[43:59]

All this stuff, I'm really great, this is just more opportunities. But you have to confess that you don't believe that there are opportunities if you don't. But it says, again, it's extremely difficult to see this sun-faced Buddha, moon-faced Buddha. And even the great poet who wrote that wonderful verse had a hard time writing it. Did you hear him say? It's a beautiful verse, isn't it? So beautiful. But he also says, why did he happen to say, 20 years of bitter struggle? He had to go down to the dragon cave to write that poem. Don't take this lightly, this trouble I've been going through. No. No. It can't be known, actually.

[45:09]

Even this sun-faced Buddha, moon-faced Buddha, I just told you some marks to imagine it. I imagined it in certain ways, but that's not it. That's just my effort. Whenever you go down in the cave, you always go through some marks. Marks are flying at you constantly. Characteristics are constantly coming to your consciousness. But the path is not one of the marks. All the marks are, you know, biased. But the pattern of the marks that includes the relationship of all of them is not a mark. But that's the path. Is this clear?

[46:16]

It could be. She said, does the way down into the Green Dragon's cave can be recognized by any marks? Are there any marks by which you can recognize it? The Diamond Citra says... the Buddha asked Subuddhi, are there any marks by which you can recognize the Buddha? And Subuddhi says, no. There's no marks by which you can recognize the Buddha. There's no marks by which you... He said, were there any particular characteristics by which I attained complete perfect enlightenment? No. There were no dharmas by which you attain enlightenment. That's why it is unsurpassable enlightenment. There's other enlightenments which are pretty good, that are attained by means of some mark, by means of some dharma. But the unsurpassable, perfect enlightenment is the one that is attained by not using anything to attain it.

[47:19]

That's why it's the unsurpassable. Because you don't use anything. It's totally immediate. And every step of the way is like that, too. Has that been intuition or something like the aha experience, the gestalt-sekkala? No. It's not like anything. It's not like anything. Okay? But it can be anything because there's no marks by which it's like something. Therefore enlightenment is all-pervasive. because it's not like gestalt or aha or uh-uh. That's why it's all-pervading, because it's not the least bit defiled by any characteristic, including it's not defiled by the...

[48:21]

That's why some people express it that way. That's why they use upright sitting to express it. That's why Nargajuna talks the way he does. Because he's coming from that place. So he says, there's nothing that comes from itself, there's nothing that comes from another, there's nothing that comes from neither. I mean, there's nothing that comes from both, and there's nothing that comes without a cause. But then, it's possible that people will make a nest out of it. He tended not to make very good nests. But the sun-faced, moon-faced Buddha could be made into a nest. It's so lovely. But it's all the same expression. It's from the same place, just different opportunities. Last time we studied this case, somewhere or another, we got into the term, keep your eye on the ball.

[49:45]

What was that? Yes, Mark? You know, the last time I visited this case, I realized it was worse. Do you like to read it? Yeah. Pearl turns on itself, consciousness. There is no pearl, there is no ball. Filling the ball, the crevice of the mind, lose it or die, this would be good. Letting go of the rope, keeping your eye on the ball. You cannot see, just this person. Mirrors from the inside do not reflect back. Wow. You clap so hard, you let go. Great, thank you.

[50:51]

Who wrote that? We all did. Thank you. Well, we're a success, finally. Arlene? This is a stupid question. A stupid question? Oh, good. Listen carefully. Why are we like this? Why are we like this? Why aren't we? Why is it such a struggle to go down into this, into the brain? Why don't we just do this naturally and easily? And why haven't we been like this? What don't I answer? But probably somebody else will answer it.

[51:59]

Because we're not trees. Because we're not trees? See what happens when you ask why questions? You can change it to how. I can say, how did we get this way? That's how you do it. Or how are we this way? Instead of why are we this way, how are we this way? That's what I've been talking about. You've been talking about how we are. Oh, you want to know how the causation that led to us being this way? Most religions have the answer to that.

[53:03]

Most religions talk about original sin. It's something that happened somewhere. We have that too. I told you that before. Didn't I tell you about that? The original sin is... the separation of making the mind into subject and object, and then attributing reality to the externality. That's the original sin. Imagining that something that's really you is not you, and that separation is real, that's the original sin. That's part of what we'll be studying this practice period, is how the mind sets up this bifurcation, calls it external, and projects.

[54:04]

And then by making the separation, you have the possibility of something separate from something else, or something by itself. And then you take this by-itselfness, or this integrity of a thing by itself, and you project it on the object. This is the original sin process. That's how we did it. That's how we do it. And it's a good deal, actually, because it forces us to become Buddhas. Once we get into that trip, there's only one way out, and that's to wake up to the process. If we weren't doing that stuff to ourselves, we might be able just to sort of like get through the day, and not know what we're missing out on, but not really mind that much. And do, even maybe do, probably wouldn't do quite as cruel things to ourselves as we do now, but we'd be kind of like, I think we'd be, I guess we'd be sort of more a medium level of cruel, but we would hardly notice us.

[55:19]

But because of this problem that we have, we're extremely cruel sometimes, and almost no one can avoid noticing it. However, then once they notice it, a lot of people then do things to numb themselves. So that turns into a problem, too, a major problem, of course. So, what? Pretty miserable. Miserable, yeah. Situation. Yeah, let's visit the miserable situation. Let's go there. Let's visit the miserable situation. And let's bring, let's find the fully drawn bow in the miserable situation. And then let's express the blessings of this fullness.

[56:28]

Let's express ourselves appropriately once we find the fullness of a moment of misery. Quiet, huh? What's happening?

[57:31]

Mind is completely mind and objects. Immersed in confusion. We move through the trees like it's the path. Does the path like the moon through the trees? Complete. What's happening? I count on everything I own.

[59:01]

Thank you. Can I say something? Sure. I read this phrase in the last couple of days about chains of, that there are chains of gold and chains of iron. And it's kind of this, you know, chains of thinking that you're really virtuous or chains of, you know, that you are not sitting at home with the gay. But they're just, they're still chains. I mean, I kept everything as a cabinet. Is that a Zen phrase? I don't know.

[60:12]

Sounds like one. Nice phrase. It wasn't in a Zen book. It was a hard one. It sounds like one of the Beatles. Anyway, yes? Yeah, so I don't know. This reminds me of this case. Now that we're back on this case. Yes. Yes. Well, I think, well, what's happening with me, you asked what's happening. Right, I did. And what's happening with me is that many of the things you're saying are striking a chord with me, so it's kind of like I'm having my own little trip here, down. So... tends to make me silent. I'm struck with the great generosity of Master Wilde's words.

[61:59]

In the face of the suffering, he leaves nothing out. When you face Buddha, nothing is left out. Mm-hmm. All this living in the mind. Yeah. And I feel a kind of, as I sit here and hear it, I have shame within my own suffering mind. I can't see beyond my nose. Mm-hmm. This kind of expression that we see exemplified by this teacher is what is called in case 34, what?

[63:11]

What do you call this in case 34? People looking back in their books and forgot the case? What? I heard what you said. What'd you say? I just said stage a person, but I don't know if it's that. That's case 32. Martha. By chance. Martha, by chance, said, what'd she say? What'd you say? Raising a speck of dust. This is an example of raising a speck of dust. This is an act of generosity. This is an act of granting something. And what do the elders do when that happens? They furrow their brows. Because this is going to cause, you know, an empire.

[64:13]

A Zen empire. And it did. I remember this case from a very long time ago. And I almost had a very bad reaction to it. Phillip Whalen used this case, and he's so sick. He's the only person I remember using a different case than . And for me, it's too good. It's too poetic. It's too much. And I feel very presumptuous to forgive someone with energy like this for saying too much. He was so sick. There was so much that he maybe had in his life at that time. But to me it's excessive.

[65:13]

I'm just in trouble. You see? Being good is too perfect? Yeah, it's too much. It's too much. It's almost as though he's indulging in his... He's shown us too much of who he is. And because he was so sick. But I just feel... Almost a cloying. It's too perfect. It's too good. Do you think what he's about to die is special for you? Yeah, that's why I feel very presumptuous in making some comment about it, that I have that very strong, deeply throbbing problem. I can't even stand setting something up. Just feel that. It reminds me of when they executed Robert Alton Harris over at San Quentin. A woman wrote an article about you know, the way we talked about that. And she said, it's okay for the family of Robert Alton Harris to say that the reason why we're doing that is, you know, for justice or something like that.

[66:29]

In other words, it's okay for them to be deluded. But the rest of us aren't entitled to that. And we should realize that we're just murdering the guy. And we're just trying to get revenge. So I think it's okay. It is, I don't know what to say about you, but anyway, I think it is true maybe that the Master Ma did raise a speck of dust, and that's a mistake. That's a defilement that he did that. On the other hand, if he had not raised a speck of dust, that also would have been an error. However, when you make the error of not raising a speck of dust, the elders do not furrow their brows, they relax, because no nests have been set up. So one side of the practice is, not one side of the practice, there is a fully drawn bow.

[67:36]

From there, things can be expressed. If you express something, it's raising a speck of dust, The nation flourishes. The Zen house will become famous. There'll be lots of monasteries and people will flock from all over to see what's produced by this moon. Some elders, however, will furrow their brows and be disdainful. And if you say it just before you die, they may not get too upset. However, if you don't do anything, that also is... in error. And then you die of starvation in the hills. You're pure, but the nation perishes. How can the nation, how can the practice, how can the community thrive is our problem. And how can it thrive without lots of politics and struggle?

[68:42]

But the point is, ladies and gentlemen, How many choices do you have? Raise a speck of dust or not? Anything else? Not really. In other words, you make mistakes in both cases. If you don't do anything from this place, it's a mistake. If you do something from this place, it's a mistake. If you don't do anything, they can't make a nest out of it. If you do, they will. But nonetheless, the moon is full. The bow can be fully drawn. There is this opportunity. And then you watch how you use it. If you're restless, then also, if you raise a speck of dust, or you don't, there will still be an error. However, it will really be, in both cases, they won't build a nest out of what you make because it'll be no good. In the other case, you'd simply be wasting your life in that case.

[69:48]

So once you are actually engaged with the fullness of the opportunity, then you have these two kinds of errors to make. And again, then you practice repentance of noticing, I'm not doing anything, and that's got problems. You're pure. You haven't moved. It's good, but people can't interact with you, they can't get a foothold. So as I was feeling the other day during that workshop, I came back to myself, I was at peace, but I had nothing to say and I couldn't interact with anybody. Is that the purpose? No, that was an error. Because I did the workshop to interact with people. That's what I was there for, to be with those people. But I did do the first part of my job I was doing. I was coming to be with me. I was with myself. I wasn't restless at a certain point. I recognized my restlessness, and I settled back into myself.

[70:48]

And then I was ready to do something, but I didn't. I didn't want to, actually. And then I did. I did want to, and I did. But then I made an empire. Then I made this empire during the weekend. This little empire that I told you about. Nice little empire. And then people left here with all these little nests that they got from what I did. You know, they're perfectly all right, and I gobbled out flesh by my contribution. You know, by this meditation practice which I gave them. But either way, I would have been wrong, and I was. I did both wrong things. Andy. A question directed at Paul. Master Ma had a big tongue, and it kept flapping till the end.

[71:52]

I guess you can cut him some slack from that idea. I don't mean to say that I'm right. I just mean to express my opinion. Okay. Half-joking? That wasn't a full joke? Oh, look. Cows. Excuse me. Excuse me. And look, there's something here about Henry. Excuse me. No, go ahead.

[72:54]

I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Do you? He's not a healthy person. A sun-faced Buddha, moon-faced Buddha. He's an old man about to die. And he says, I think in the long ways below. I recently saw The Seven Samurai for the first time in many years. And there's a scene in the movie where an old man is wormy. really related to this current thing that he's doing. We can start talking about this case. I think that it makes it more illuminant and more understandable.

[74:03]

what makes what helped you good yeah um which reminds me in addition to directly uh you know enacting the stories like verbatim then it's also good to do something in you know let's make some personal expression too like a groan like that that's good or do something physical, like reach out and touch somebody. Or not. Or not. Or withdraw your tentacles. Reminds me of a joke that I told some friends of mine recently. I don't know why I told them this. But when I was a little boy, there was a show on TV called Art Linkletter.

[75:13]

And one day when I was 12, before I went outside to be a juvenile delinquent, I watched the show. And at the end of the show, you used to have these about four kids sit up on little chairs, and you'd interview them. Was it at the end of the show? Yeah. you that old yeah I thought you just a young whippersnapper anyway so he interviewed these kids these school-aged kids and stay concentrated so one day he interviewed this little boy and he was interviewing all the kids he said what animal would you like to be So he interviewed this little boy, and he said, what animal would you like to be? And he said, I want to be an octopus.

[76:18]

He said, well, what do you want to be an octopus for? He said, so I can grab people with my testicles. This is what I tried to avoid saying. There was one little boy on that show, and I think it might have been this same guy. His name was George, and he had a voice like this. Good morning, Mr. Linklater. Remember that guy? He had a real low voice, and he was so interesting, and his voice was so interesting that he got his own TV show. This amazing voice.

[77:22]

And he was so intelligent. Anybody remember George? How many people do not, have not seen the Art Linklater show? It was a party. Wasn't it called a party? Yes. It was a party. Did this impel you to be a juvenile delinquent? No, it supported me to be a juvenile. It was like a wholesome way to start the day. We also used to ask them, what did your mother tell you not to say? So are we ready to move on to case 37 next week?

[78:39]

So you can study it now if you want to. And then beginning class, I'd like everybody to go act it out with somebody. And then we can get together to discuss it. And we'll probably discuss it for quite a few weeks in parallel. discussing it, you know, on Wednesday night from more the psychology behind it more. So you can deal with it in these two different ways. Any last-minute comments or questions? Um, whenever I hear the verse, you know, or read the verse, or recite the verse, you know, in my head, I always wonder, in the end, the Bible says, clear-eyed patchwork monks do not take this lightly.

[79:46]

Whether this is, like, a fact, he's saying they don't take it lightly, or is he saying, don't, like, warning, you know, or... I thought it was more, uh... No, it... There's an imperative there. It says, should not. Should not. Don't. Don't take this lightly. Don't take this word lightly. In other words, please do this work. Don't think that you have to... Don't think there's a... Zen practice is difficult. Don't think that you can skip over the difficulty of Zen practice because same thing, don't think you can skip over the difficulty of settling with your own restlessness. and recognizing your own... and being patient with your own pain. You can't like skip over that and practice Zen, just like you can in any kind of Buddhism. You have to live with your... you have to live with yourself. That's bitter work.

[80:47]

And your friends, dear things that they are, help you. you know, help focus you on this difficult task by being their unpredictable selves, offering you their daily face to respond to and be afraid of. And also, I just want to mention, I think I mentioned before, but I thought it would be nice to have a couple days, not a couple days, but have some days of where we sit, do a combination of sitting and koan study, some classes and back and forth. So there's two days being offered where we can sit and study koans together, one at the end of May and one at the end of July, in case you didn't look at the brochure.

[81:56]

And if you have any suggestions about how to organize that day, I'm open to it. I was thinking basically of alternating sitting and classes or other kinds of discussions of some stories or a story throughout the day from 9 to 5. Of course, you can start earlier if you want. So you might look ahead and check your schedule if you want to come to that before you commit yourself to something else if you want to attend it. Thank you very much.

[82:33]

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