The founder of Zen Center said one time that Zen is the key that unlocks the Buddha's teaching. Buddha's teaching has, I've heard anyway, maybe you have too, and maybe you've heard that it's out and around in this world. But how to unlock it, how to use it at the right time

[01:03]

And it's not exactly that it's locked, but maybe we're locked. So in a way, Zen is a way to unlock ourselves so that we can enjoy the Buddha's teaching, the Buddha's truth. A way to unlock ourselves, unlock our minds and hearts, so that we can let Buddha's compassion in to every moment of our lives. The great ancestor Bodhidharma said that Zen is a special transmission, not depending on the written teachings, not depending on the scriptures of the Buddha.

[02:27]

a special transmission that indicates precisely the true heart of each and every living being. But this not depending or not relying on the teaching means on one side that we don't depend on it. If we depend on Buddha's teaching, we kill the Buddhas and ancestors. On the other hand, if we deviate one syllable, not to mention a whole word, If we deviate one word from the Buddha's teaching, what we do and say is the activity of demons.

[03:39]

Zen is based on the Mahayana scriptures and the earlier scriptures. It's based on it without depending on it. It doesn't deviate in the slightest from all the teachings of the Buddha and also doesn't depend on it in the slightest. In this way, Zen is just like Tantra, which is based on the teaching and goes beyond it. This may be a key to a contradiction that I have heard between the sayings of some modern living Zen teachers. One of them says that Zen is not imitation.

[04:54]

Another one says Zen is imitation. One way to respond to this is that we are not trying to be like our ancestors. Or rather, we may try to be like our ancestors, but that's not Zen. That isn't the key. We should not try to be like our ancestors, even though for me that was what attracted me to Zen. I heard the stories of Zen monks and I said to myself, I want to be like that. But that was a misunderstanding on my part, even though the impulse had some goodness in it.

[06:01]

It's not that we copy and be like our ancestors, it's that we practice like they did. So we imitate their practice. We don't imitate them. We rely and imitate the Dharma, the practice of truth. We don't rely on the person. Even though the practice is conveyed by a person, So it's subtle. It's very subtle, the difference between copying the practice of the person and copying the person. So we imitate the practice. And all the Buddhas have the same practice. We don't imitate the person.

[07:05]

Zen is actually the peace, the deep peace that comes from imitating ourself, from being completely ourself. The peace of mind, the peace of heart, when we are truly ourselves. All Buddhas have that same practice, that they were truly themselves. So we imitate the practice that they practiced. We imitate the practice of imitating ourselves. And the forms of practice which they used, we can use to help us become ourselves, if we wish. A young girl does the practice of being a young girl until she's a woman and then she has the peace of mind of being a woman.

[08:23]

Until she's an old mother and then she has the peace of mind of being a mother. Until she's a grandmother and then she has the peace and happiness of being a grandmother. until she comes to her death, and then she has the peace and happiness of dying. Fortunately or unfortunately, it seems to be heaven here today. The weather is what it is and we have to live here. Fortunately or unfortunately, it may get too hot today for us and we may start sweating. But all day long we have the opportunity to do the same practice as all Buddhas and ancestors, namely to be truly ourselves

[09:40]

But as you may know, this is not so easy, even if you're in a club that says that's what we're supposed to be doing. One time a monk went to a party given by a wealthy lady in Vietnam. All kinds of things were served. I think alcohol and meat were served in addition to vegetarian dishes. I don't know if the monk ate any vegetarian dishes, but he ate lots of meat and drank lots of alcohol. I don't know if he misbehaved at all other than that. But anyway, he was... outstanding in his consumption of meat and alcohol.

[10:52]

And the hostess went up to him and said, Aren't you ashamed of yourself? Do you think Shakyamuni Buddha would act like this? And the monk said, I don't want to be Shakyamuni Buddha, and Shakyamuni Buddha doesn't want to be me. If we can be truly ourselves, we may find a deep, deep security, which is our own personal kind of security.

[11:55]

Each of us has to find our own way so secure that we can go ahead with our practice without other people's help. Once we realize and are sure and secure in our interdependence with all beings, we become free of our dependence on them. On Saturday I sat here and I was talking to a group of people and I can't remember exactly what I said. Maybe somebody can help me. I said,

[13:04]

well, I can do this if you'll help me. And they said that they wouldn't. And then I said, now I can really do it. What was it? Oh. What? I was trying to coax the snake out of somebody. And I said, did I say I was afraid? Huh? And I was afraid of the snake. And I said... But I can go on with your help. Is that what he said? Oh, and I said to everyone in the group, please help me. And they said no. And I said, well, now I can do it. And I really felt that way. And when they said that they wouldn't help me, they helped me. Then I really realized that they were helping me and therefore I could do it by myself.

[14:10]

The proof that you understand that everyone's helping you is that you do it by yourself. When we don't really understand and really believe that everyone's helping us, we think we need them to help. We don't think we can do it by ourselves. Our security really is based on everyone helping us. But because they're helping us, we don't need them. Everyone is actually helping us be free of them. Because everyone's helping us to be ourself, not them. But this is very subtle, isn't it? Very subtle. Homage to Manjushri Bodhisattva. who has been teaching Buddhists for quite a long time now. One day he was teaching a large assembly, a lovely assembly.

[15:21]

People were dressed up very nicely, like you. But some people more colorfully, with more jewels. Zen style, no jewels in the Zen-do. But these people had jewels all over them. In fact, there was a huge, enormous, virtually limitless canopy of jewels over the assembly of jewel-bedecked, radiant beings. And Manjushri was giving them a talk. And one little guy, little boy, came to visit and asked Manjushri for instruction. His name was Sudhana. And Manjushri said, Ah... good young fellow, please go outside of the hall and fetch me some medicinal herbs. Fetch me at least one medicinal herb. So the young boy went outside and looked all over the world and came back and said, Prince of sweetness and light,

[16:34]

I've looked over the whole world and I don't see anything that's not medicine." Manjushri said, "'As I said earlier, would you please get me a medicinal herb?' So the boy went outside again and came back with a blade of grass, gave it to Manjushri. Manjushri held up the blade of grass and said, this blade of grass can kill people. This blade of grass can make people come really alive. Before, in the past, this was a blade of grass. Afterwards, this is a blade of grass. How far apart are before and after?

[17:39]

A blade of grass. It's very subtle. So today and tomorrow and after that, if you want to practice Zen, and you don't have to, by the way, it's optional, you can be a non-Zen person if you want to and stay inside your cage and be miserable and grumpy and blame somebody else for your problems.

[18:48]

You don't have to practice Zen. But anyway, if you want to, that means you practice being yourself. You practice being a woman of a certain age and weight. And you practice being a man if you're a man. Now, the world will help you do that, by the way. Everybody wants you to do that, and actually nobody really wants you to stay in your cage and be a grump. But staying in your cage, although it's miserable, is not as dynamic and scary, in a way, as moving towards the center of your being. Because one thing nice about the cage is everything's permanent there.

[19:50]

Stuff is rigid. The walls are solid. You really are in a trap. And you will eternally be in misery. You don't have to worry about that. But if you move towards yourself, everything's unpredictable and changing. Everything's not like it is in the cage. So you might think, geez, what's going to happen? At least when I'm in the cage, I know tomorrow I'll be in the cage. It may get worse, but basically it'll be the same kind of bad stuff. But if I move out of this cage, what will become of me? I want to hold on to this bad situation. At least I've got this. So as you... settle into yourself, you start to expose yourself to the flow of things, to impermanence.

[20:54]

This impermanent flow of things is where peace is born. It comes from this flow, from this impermanence, from this unpredictability, from this uncontrolled reality. That's where peace is born. Peace is not born in the realm of permanence and control. That's always miserable. Happiness and peace are born in change. But as we approach change, not just intellectually, but as we approach the real thing, we often interpret it in these unflattering terms, like, I feel like I'm burning up. I feel like I'm shattered inside. I feel like I'm losing control. That is our interpretation of what it's like when we get out of the cage.

[22:02]

As we approach the reality where peace will be born, we call it these nasty names. And of course, since we call it the nasty names, What do we do? Get back in the cage. Like that story I told you about when I went to the animal releasing ceremony in Japan. How many people have not heard the story of the animal releasing ceremony? Not too many. I've used it quite a few times, I guess. Anyway, it was a nice ceremony, and they released a couple boxes full of chickens. And at the climax of the ceremony, they opened the cage. The chickens flew out into freedom. And that was this. And then after the ceremony, they served hors d'oeuvres to the people. And I don't know what they served to the chickens. But anyway, after the people had gone off and were chatting and eating, I went back to clean up the altar from the ceremony.

[23:12]

And I noticed the chickens were wandering around in confusion and fear. and gradually getting back in the cages. So I would like to encourage myself and you to try to make yourself comfortable with your freedom. And your freedom will be revealed to you if you just sit still and quietly. you sit still and quiet, the snakes will come out of hiding. The snake in your heart, which eats you up and makes you into a new person every moment, will come out of hiding and start showing you how impermanent and flowing a thing you are.

[24:15]

And I'm not here to stick your nose in the most frightful thing. I'm here to encourage you to come and be with the most frightful thing, the most frightful thing which just happens to be your best friend. I'm just asking you to face your best friend, which just happens to look like extreme confusion. When you first see extreme confusion, really, not in theory, but really, your own, on the spot now, you might become afraid.

[25:33]

So again, I recommend that you practice fearlessness if you get exposed to this. And fearlessness means simply that you stay there with it that you don't run away. That if your life seems to be shattered, that you don't run away from it. That you hear it calling to you and asking you to come and sit down beside it. I guess I'm trying to encourage us to feel love for change, love for our dynamic turning self. Not to go look for it even though, but just sit still and it will come and visit.

[26:51]

And then you'll want to run away, probably. But it loves you. That's why it comes. But it doesn't come until you sit still and it feels invited. It doesn't want to be rejected. And if you're running away, it will just say, well, I guess she doesn't want me. She's trying to leave her nature behind. So I'm not going to impose upon her But if you sit still, your nature says, well, maybe she wants to meet me. So I'll go and say hi. And then it says hi and we say, oh my God. And it hurts its feelings and it gets quiet again until you sit still and then it comes back and tries again. It's really vital. It's so vital, you can't get a hold of it.

[27:55]

However, we do have a sense of when we're veering away from it. We do have a sense of when we turn away one way or another. We know that if we grab it, It burns us, and we know if we turn away, we lose contact with something that's precious, and we freeze. We can't get a hold of it, but we know when we're trying to or when we're running away. And when you feel that you're going away from it or trying to get a hold of it, at that time, you're right, and it's there. When you see the immensity of your habits of clinging and avoiding, there's wisdom there.

[29:10]

You're right. You are cuckoo at that time. When you feel insecure, When you see how fragile you are, when you see how vulnerable you are, you're right. You are. That's wisdom. When you see how you're the inheritor of all your ancestors' bad habits, you're right. When you see that you are your parents, you're right. When you see that you're not your parents and you haven't inherited their habits, you're right. When you see that you're so dynamic that you don't know what you are, you're right.

[30:13]

This is wisdom. This wisdom will dawn on you if you sit still. However, you also need to be calm. with this revelation, otherwise you'll just be crazy. But just to be calm and not face this isn't enough. So, since it isn't, your friend comes and knocks on the door and says, boo, so that you're sitting and calm isn't dead. If you during this session or any time in your life have the fearlessness to sit with your life, to be in the present, that's not the end of the story.

[31:19]

It's the end of fear. I propose to you that when you stay in the present, there's no fear. And if you don't know what the present is, then I would say it's a place where you don't have fear. You'll know you're there because there won't be any fear. Fearlessness, the end of fear, is the distance between where you are now, if you're not in the present, and the present. It's the blade of grass away. And the way you get to the present is by simply giving yourself to it. Now, I'm telling you that if you go there, you won't be afraid anymore. But you have to give yourself away without thinking about that. Not thinking, well, I'm giving myself away because of that.

[32:23]

You really give yourself completely away to yourself in the present. And the fear will drop away at that time. However, that will not be the end of the story because when you get there you'll be still a little unsettled because anxiety can exist in the present. Anxiety is more basic than fear. It's more pervasive. You can be anxious even when you're afraid, but you can be anxious when you're not afraid So fearlessness is the courage to live in the present with yourself, and it's also the courage to face anxiety without the distraction of fear, without the distraction of living in the future, the real anxiety.

[33:23]

The word fear has a Norse root, and it has to do with leaning forward. or extending out. Fear has to do with leaning out into some other place into the future. Anxiety has the etymology of torment and choking. Because even in the present, we still are choking ourselves around ourselves, which makes us uneasy. And when that choking breaks up, we should be happy, but actually we're sad because we feel like we're being shattered and dying. Anyway, this dynamic juice of our true self, which when we've got a hold of ourselves, we're being choked, and we're very uncomfortable with that.

[34:31]

And when we start letting go of that organization, we feel shattered and dying and being burned up, this is the happy realm that I recommend you find some way to be at peace with, that you feel encouraged to stay in such a place if you happen to get there. And actually, most of you would be able to get there this week if you just sit still. That will get you to that place, probably. Some of you may already be there. Some people are there even without sitting. I was talking to somebody yesterday who's there a lot of the time. She thinks she's crazy. And she perceives that she's crazy. And when she tells me about what she perceives, I agree that what she perceives is crazy. She sees these crazy things going on in her mind, in her heart, in her life.

[35:37]

She's right. Although she's crazy, she's also wise. She's right. She sees that she's crazy. She's right. She has wisdom. Lots of it. But she doesn't have enough composure She doesn't have confidence that it's human nature to be crazy like she is. That if you grow up with people modeling insanity, it's normal that you would be insane too. What's abnormal actually, which is quite unusual, is to notice that you're crazy. Most people don't think they are crazy. In other words, most people don't have much wisdom. She has wisdom, but not much confidence. In other words, not much composure with her insight about her insanity, about her fragility and vulnerability.

[36:41]

She doesn't have much composure and peace about the fact that she could be taken away to the funny farm pretty easily. Now these days, actually, I guess we've closed down lots of the funny farms, so maybe not so easy as it used to be. But anyway, even if you're a Buddhist monk and you eat meat at dinner, they might take you away someplace. It's a dangerous world. I'm sorry. It's dangerous. It's dangerous because we're crazy. And we can't figure out, actually, how to negotiate this space in a way that's not going to get us in trouble. To see that is kind of sad, but it's wise. But most people would rather think it's a safe world, and when they see horrible things, they figure, now how can we eliminate those things?

[37:53]

in a way that wouldn't involve me going crazy. What's a sane way to eliminate all these problems? Because I don't have problems. The problems are out there. I'm not crazy. They're crazy. How can we get those crazy people to not be crazy? How can we get those violent people to not be violent? This is called not wisdom. Wisdom is, how can I get this crazy person to not be violent? But since that's going to take a long time, I'll wait for a few years to get into that one. And right now, I'll just go try to get the other crazy people not to be crazy, because they're really causing trouble, but I'm not. Anyway, this week, work on the crazy person that's sitting on your cushion.

[38:59]

Work on this dynamic, shattered, dying loony. And don't tell yourself you're crazy just because I said so. Just sit there and handle what comes up. If you don't call it crazy, that's okay. Maybe it won't be. I don't know. Maybe some of you aren't crazy. Maybe some of you have no crazy relatives. Maybe some of you have no crazy relatives who even know any crazy people, and your lineage is completely uninfected by any insanity, and you're totally pure. Maybe. But even so, still, you're totally vulnerable and fragile. Nobody's not that way. And most people, when they realize how fragile and vulnerable they are, they want somebody or something to take care of them, and they jump up and down and scream and holler if they don't get that.

[40:10]

And if they get beat up for doing that, they do it inside. And if they beat themselves up for doing it, they push it down so low that they just get sick. Anyway, everybody's connected to this problem. The problem is that we think we're separate. And we think this self is a thing by itself and we're choking ourselves. If you just sit with that choking it'll break up and you'll be free. And if you're calm you'll be able to stand it. But you first have to be fearless enough to get in the present because it's in the present that you can see this illness If you live in the future of fear, the fear will distract you.

[41:12]

You have to give up your fear in order to learn. You can't learn when you're afraid. You can't learn in the future. You only learn in the present. And the present is very dynamic and none of your trips are going to work there. So you have to give up your fear, go to the present. The way to do that is to sit still and be quiet and do what I tell you. Not what I do. If what I said today is, what do you say, if it's relevant and useful, put it into practice. If it's not relevant, please forget it. And go back to your

[42:13]

whatever, that you were involved in before I came in here. But I really do, I really do resonate with that song, you know? Come and sit by my side if you love me. Do not hasten to bid me adieu and don't run away. But remember the Red River Valley and the cowboy who loves you so true. Now they say that you're leaving this valley. I will miss your bright smile, no, bright eyes and sweet smile. For they say you are taking the sunshine that has brightened our path for a while.

[43:18]

sweet, sweet, calm, fearless Zen comrades. I hope you make good use of your life. and the town shows it.

[44:21]

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