When you are sick and when you are tired, it will be a new kind of sickness and a new kind of tiredness because, why? Because you won't wiggle a little bit about it. You won't compare yourself to the way you used to be or the way somebody else is. So this kind of sickness is a sickness that you can always be. Or this kind of tiredness is a tiredness you can always be. When you can't quite hold yourself up at your desk, that's the way you are. Do you understand any questions about this?

[02:18]

Yes? Bodhisattvas maintain even energy and they go up and down essentially doing. They don't deny that sentient beings think they go up and down. But they have even energy. People think they go up and down. They think they can leak. Bodhisattvas go with them. But that leaking is leaking in one field. And the bodhisattva is a whole field. It's what we call, it used to be a treasure, right? It's called inner Zen center transverse. Bodhisattva is all of Zen center.

[03:26]

It's all, everything. But Bodhisattva notices, oh, it looks like When Green Gulch sells San Francisco lettuce, then San Francisco Zen Center pays Green Gulch. So Green Gulch gets money and San Francisco loses money. And Green Gulch loses spinach and San Francisco gets spinach. Bodhisattva knows how many spinaches left Green Gulch and how many arrived in San Francisco. Knows how much they cost and the difference in the counts. But the Bodhisattva's energy is even. Because the Bodhisattva didn't send the lettuce or the vegetables from Green Gulch to San Francisco with some idea of gain or loss. But just as skill and means, just as a nice thing to do, But who is doing a nice thing? Is the people of San Francisco doing a nice thing?

[04:29]

To buy the spinach? Or is the Green Goat doing a nice thing to give the spinach? Who's the nicest? Well, obviously the people in San Francisco are nicer. I mean, the people of Green Goat doing nice. Isn't that clear? But there is nicer and not so nice, but bodhisattva is both nicer and not nice. Zen-study is both nicer and not nice. Doesn't take sides like that, but it's on both sides. If you stay on both sides, you don't lose any energy, you don't get weak. It doesn't mean you're not on your knees because the muscles don't straighten up because they don't have enough sugar in them.

[05:32]

It doesn't mean that. But if you're on your knees, that's what you are. And you decided to be that kind of person, that you have that much strength, and that's where you are. It's beyond comparison, your practice. Any other comments about this point? Yes? If we have some habit, it's a problem. You should just wash it, and it will wear something. It doesn't look like that with a lease, too. We just wash them. That's right. Just watch the leaks. You think the leaks are there, maybe. If you just watch them, you'll see that it's just a deal of incident transport.

[06:36]

If you just watch the leaks, you'll see that actually it's just this room, you know? It's just this room. And you go, people on this side and people on that side. Okay? And you watch. More people sleep on this side than that side. This side better than that side. I mean that side better than that side. Pretty soon. You cut this side in half two, or just two is enough. Just this side and that side is enough. But you can also make this side into various sections. Or you can make this side into 35 sections. Or even more. As soon as you split them up and make a discrimination in a circuit, it occurs, you know. And you have electricity flowing. And then you can gain and lose. But actually, what happened? You just imputed something to the situation. By that imputation, that extra thing you put on here, which you just made up in the first place, you got all this thing. You got this gain and loss.

[07:42]

Without this imputation, there's no such thing. Without making this up, there's no way for this side to win and that side to lose. So, the conservation of energy in the universe is like this. It's only by discriminations that you can gain and lose energy. So if you just, and even if you watch, even if you're making discriminations, if you watch the discriminations, they lose their power and you see them to what they are. And then they don't really cut up the energy and put it in little packets and compartments that are unavailable to you or available to you. It's very easy to see this. Like if you're tired at night and you want to read more so that you can get some knowledge and be better than her, or if you want to sit a little extra meditation at night so that she can be better than me, then you'll be sleepy in the morning.

[08:57]

because you'll lose energy from that activity reading the sutra reading the scriptures to gain knowledge so you can be better than other people or not even better but just so you can be good versus something else which is not as good which is what you are right now you can do something now at 10 o'clock or 11 o'clock at night that will make you better than what you are now then tomorrow you'll be weak or if you do meditation so you'll improve then tomorrow you'll be weak. But if you're ready to go to bed and you don't care about getting better, you just want to go to sleep. And then somebody knocks on your door and says, help. And you say, not all I should help because then I will get something and I will be better than her or better than them. You just help. You don't want to, you don't not want to, you just do it.

[10:01]

and you get a little less sleep. You won't be tired in the morning. You won't lose any energy in that activity. It does not go any place. It's not more stressful than sleep. It's not less stressful than sleep. If it has milk, it does, nothing happens. No energy went any place. No sleep went any place. You could say, yeah, but what if they stay all night? They may have to be tired the next morning. I'm sorry. You try it. If they really stay, and moment after moment, you don't care. And moment after moment, they just make you stay up. You won't be tired. Fortunately, or unfortunately, that doesn't very often happen. Because very few people can keep that up all night. Can keep asking you all night. They'll usually fall asleep first.

[11:03]

But if right after you fall asleep, you go to sleep, and don't stay up and congratulate yourself, you won't be tired from that. You won't be tired. It's always completely full and completely free, except by virtue of our imputation of partitioning and discrimination on top of us, our unity. The natural state is free communication and openness. Closedness is our creation. When we sit in meditation, our body becomes open. This is the natural way to our body. It's to block ourselves off from other people. That's our creation. And I shouldn't even say that

[12:09]

You know, maybe I shouldn't say natural. Maybe I should say our unborn nature is openness. And our created nature, our born nature, is closed. In another story, Seppo was asked, what will the goldfish eat when he breaks out of the net? And Seppo says, when the goldfish breaks out of the net, I'll tell you. And the monk said, you're the teacher of 1,500, and you don't understand any better than that? You can't give a better answer than no?

[13:13]

And he said, Sephul said, I'm very busy with my duties as abbot. The name, the word for abbot is juji in Japanese. It means to abide and maintain. The abbot abides and maintains. So juji is another name for our meditation. You abide and maintain. If you abide and maintain this posture, this mind and body, you may not be able to give good answers because you'll be so busy. If someone asks you a question, you may not be able to sound like a very good Zen student because you're so busy taking care of this body and mind. But body and mind also means all these other people.

[14:16]

It means take care of this body and mind and take care of all tasahara. If you take care of all tasahara, you may not look so good. You also won't look so bad. There may be very little sign that you're better than tasahara itself. in a very little way that you can tell that you're doing well. And I think this is true refuge from suffering, this not being able to tell that you're doing well and just taking care of everything.

[15:19]

What's actually going on at some level is intolerable. And you have to conjure up some kind of architecture. Some kind of architecture that you can take refuge in. Some word. some words, some structure to yourself in the midst of all this, you can decide. There's many choices of different kinds of structures, different kinds of architecture that you can put up in the middle of this chaos which will keep you from making a mistake. They'll protect you from making the

[16:28]

Fatal discrimination which says there's two things and they're not one thing. Can you see that? This is one thing. This is another thing. This is another thing. There's various kinds of one. If you get fooled by them, then that's a little bit troublesome. So that's why we have so many duties to see if we really are paying attention. So it isn't that we should just keep going like this all the time. The Sun Zen Master did it all the time like this. That was his way. I don't criticize it at all.

[17:28]

I'm very grateful for it. But Zen Center's way is to keep going like this to you. And see if you can keep seeing one. And see if you can stop comparing this finger with this finger. All this, of course, requires you stay concentrated. Be concentrated doesn't mean I only stay concentrated.

[18:31]

It means every time I meet someone, I concentrate myself into them or them into me. As he said, without denying that they make sense, increase and decrease are up and down. I include that up and down. I concentrate that up and down. I concentrate myself in that up and down. Any other questions about this? What is no old age and death or what is old age and death?

[19:54]

That's right. Do you understand? You do, but you want more? Why do you tell them that? You think so? Or do they think so? What? There's a gap? Do you think so or do they think so? Maybe it's something different. Are you sure?

[20:55]

Yeah. Yeah, the mortician, I'm sure. The nurses, I'm sure. But not me. Not you. You're worried about the mortician, that's true. You're worried about the nurse, but you're talking about what you do. And you don't worry, and neither do I. I don't worry about you. I know you're okay. There's no gap. But the mortician thinks there's a gap. And he stays up all night looking at funeral catalogs and casket catalogs. Yeah, here's a nice one. Look at this one. But you don't do that.

[21:59]

You don't do that gap. What? Nothing about the gap in your stomach? It got cut, but where is it? Where is the cut? You have the cut. You have it. It's all yours. There's nothing you don't have.

[23:13]

There's nothing you don't have. There's nothing you don't have. Can you say something about this person?

[25:03]

Can you say something for this person? You can say something. It's alright. It's alright. It's alright. No, it's okay if I say that a little.

[26:39]

She tried. And she tried. And it's all right. She tried. She tried. And that's all right. It's all right. And then we go.

[27:32]

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