I have a reading list here. So after class, if you'd like a reading list, you can just come up and get one off the table here. And so I'd like to have everybody recognize each other. So can we start by giving your name? Is this class about the Bodhisattva precepts? I think so. What's this? Registration sheet. Oh, description course? Okay. Bodhisattva precepts help us understand the body, form and function of Zen meditation. The practice of Zen helps us understand the true nature of the great bodhisattva precepts.

[01:08]

Zazen and the precepts support each other and are really one. Any questions? Does everybody know what zazen is? What are the precepts? What are the precepts? Well, the precepts, the Bodhisattva precepts in the form that we use in this lineage are the three refuges, which is going for refuge in Buddha, going for refuge in Dharma, going for refuge in Sangha. Going for refuge in Buddha is to go for refuge in awakening, in enlightenment.

[02:13]

The Dharma is the teaching or the truth of enlightenment. And the Sangha is the community of beings who practice and support the the Dharma practice which awakens us. So those are the first three precepts, refuge in Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. The next three, in the Zen tradition, we say, next three are called the three pure cumulative precepts. In Zen tradition, we say, first one is to embrace and sustain right conduct. Second one is to embrace and sustain all good.

[03:18]

Third one is to embrace and sustain all beings. This is the same as the early tradition of Buddhism, which is the three pure precepts are to not do any evil, to do all good, and to purify your mind. That's the earliest Buddhist version of these three pure precepts. In between the Zen version which I started with and that early Buddhist version, there's a kind of Bodhisattva version which is in the form of three disciplines. The discipline which is... I'll just try to say it in English.

[04:25]

The discipline which is to endeavor in things which are conducive to enlightenment, which are to endeavor in things which are conducive to liberation, that's the first one, to endeavor in the assembly of all wholesome things, and to endeavor to develop and purify all beings. So those three versions, you can maybe see, I don't know if you could follow that, but the second version is kind of a bridge between the first version and the third version. I can go into more detail on that later. But anyway, those three pure precepts. Then there's the ten great precepts. which are not killing, not stealing, not misusing sexuality, not lying, not intoxicating oneself or others, not slandering or not speaking of the faults of others,

[05:45]

not praising one's self while putting someone else down, not being possessive of, strictly speaking, of dharma, of teachings, which means, of course, not being possessive of anything, not even the teaching. And the last one is, the ninth one is not being angry, And the tenth one is not abusing the three treasures which we took refuge in, which we take refuge in as the first three precepts. So those are the sixteen great precepts of a bodhisattva. There are other precepts for other types of beings. I recently watched a movie about a hitman, and one of his rules was no women and children.

[06:51]

That's the rule. Would you like to sit down? There's a seat up here. There's a seat here. There's a seat next to Liz. There are also precepts. We have a precept on this road here, signified by a double yellow line, you know? Double yellow line is a rule. It's a precept. It's a rule. It's a law. And it's a teaching. means don't cross over the line. It's not a good thing to do on that road. So for safe driving purposes, we have government which puts two yellow lines on the road to teach us, to encourage us to stay on one side of the road and not be crossing back and forth because of the danger of doing that on the road. Let's see, so maybe I should say what a bodhisattva is, because these are the precepts for bodhisattvas.

[08:04]

Okay? Bodhisattva, well, I can't really say what a bodhisattva is, but I'll tell you something about a bodhisattva. A bodhisattva is a being who wishes, who seeks, who desires to realize the highest welfare for all other living beings before herself. Another way to put it is bodhisattvas wish to attain enlightenment themselves in order to be enabled to work for the benefit of all other beings before themselves. These kinds of beings, these bodhisattvas, are basically the same as Buddha, and yet all Buddhas have gone through this kind of practice to realize complete Buddhahood.

[09:21]

Now, right off, I want to say, in case it's already popped up in your head, many people realize that if you're going to help others before you help yourself, in some ways that's not really possible. You can't really help others before you help yourself. Notice the difference between helping others before you help yourself and wanting to help others before you help yourself. There's a difference. Bodhisattvas want to help others before themselves. They want to help people, animals, trees, everything, before they help themselves. However, in fact, if you actually try to do that, in fact, you have to help yourself first sometimes. One of the nicest examples... is the example on the airplane when they say, if you're traveling with a child or someone else that needs your assistance, put your own oxygen mask on first before you put theirs on.

[10:34]

So if a parent is traveling with their beloved child, when the thing happens, they naturally want to help the child first, only because their child's basically themselves. even the better part of themselves. So they want to help the child first. But if you should happen to not be able to get the baby's or the child's mask on quickly, you yourself might become incapacitated and not get the child's mask on or your own. So you need to get your own on first so that you'll have plenty of time to get the child's on. You want to help the child first, of course. You first of all think right away to help the child. This is like a bodhisattva. But a bodhisattva also knows sometimes you should put your own on first so you have plenty of time and you're not nervous. I should say maybe not nervous, but anyway, you have plenty of oxygen in which to carefully handle the situation of getting the other person's welfare taken care of.

[11:39]

Okay? Similarly, if you want to help other beings become free of self-clinging, It really helps if you already freed yourself of self-clinging. Wanting to help others before yourself is already being free of self-clinging. But you could want that and yet sometimes slip back into, under certain circumstances, slip back into wanting to help yourself before someone else. in which case then you'd have to work on yourself to free yourself from self-clinging, which is the same as enlightening yourself. And then you can help others. But one of the ways to free yourself from self-clinging is wanting to help others before yourself. We could talk about this quite a bit. But that's, for starters, a little... give you something about the spirit of a bodhisattva.

[12:47]

Also, again, to emphasize that they want to help everybody before themselves. Everybody. Everybody. No limit to that. There's nobody who you don't want to help yourself, before yourself. The most cruel... the most cruel person in the world, you, a bodhisattva, wishes to help before herself. Of course, you would have had to have taken care of yourself very well in order to want to help the most cruel person before yourself. If you don't take care of yourself, if you deprive yourself, you will also deprive others. You won't give others what you won't give yourself. So, in the spirit of wanting to give everyone the most, you should give yourself the most. You should give yourself a full life so that you can give your life to others.

[13:51]

If you choke yourself, you know, if you don't have your oxygen mask on, you're not going to be able to help innumerable beings. You've got to eat and sleep and have oxygen to, what do you call it? To, what do you call it? Oxidize your food. So you can turn into heat, so you can move your arms and legs and lift your eyebrows up and down and blink. You know, it'd help you. You need to be very skillful at taking good care of yourself so you can teach others how to take care of themselves. And the most important thing that we need to learn how to do for ourselves is to release ourselves from self-cleaning. And to some extent, we have to take care of ourselves in order to release ourselves from self-cleaning. We have to give ourselves enough food, enough rest, enough leisure to... be able to address this fundamental spiritual problem.

[14:57]

If we're too much running around taking care of material things, we don't have time to concentrate on the spiritual crux of self-cleaning. So we need to take care of ourselves just enough so we feel fine, and then we can address our spiritual problem, our fundamental spiritual problem of taking ourselves too seriously. If we know how to do this, we know the essence of Dharma. And the essence of Dharma, in some sense, is just that you want to help others before yourself, because that is being free of self-clinging, right there. At the moment you really want to help others, everybody else before yourself, that's the essence of enlightenment. And bodhisattva means, one definition of bodhisattva, bodhi is enlightenment, and sattva is being or essence. The essence of enlightenment is this spirit of wanting to help others first in the highest and most complete and wonderful way. So these precepts that I just told you about are the precepts for those people, for those beings.

[16:10]

So what does precept mean? We have an English word, you know, precept. The Japanese word is kai. And... But precept, you know, is... It's not quite it, but it's pretty good. So see, what does it say in this book here? So pretend, press, prepotent, premed, pre... Precondition. Precool. Where is it? Pre... Precept.

[17:21]

One. Well, first I'll go to the etymology. Etymology, the oldest etymology means to take beforehand. Sep, pre, to take beforehand. Okay? To take beforehand. That's the etymology. So in one sense, precept is something you take beforehand. Before what? But the bodhisattva precept is something you take before going to work as a bodhisattva. Kind of like a little vitamin pill. Okay, you want to help all beings? Take the precept. Put the precept inside you and then go to work. How? How? Take refuge in Buddha. When you always think of how to help other people, when you're always thinking of how to free yourself from self-clinging by helping others, or to free yourself from self-clinging to help others, always thinking of that, always concerned with that, always having that as the central concern of your life,

[18:46]

is the same as taking refuge in Buddha. It's the same as thinking of Buddha all the time. Thinking of Buddha all the time, thinking of enlightenment all the time, is the same as thinking of how to help other people become free all the time. It's the same as the first precept of taking refuge in Buddha. So beforehand... Now, the first meaning here, though, is commandment or direction given as a rule of action or conduct. So, that's number one. And in some sense, that's the conventional meaning of precept. A rule or a commandment. Thou shalt not cross the yellow line. You will be punished if you do so, if they catch you. Or if they don't,

[19:48]

You might not be punished by being caught, you might be punished by getting in an accident, and worst of all, hurting someone else beside yourself. This would be a great punishment for breaking the commandment of crossing the yellow line. This is the superficial meaning, the conventional meaning of the precept. You better do it. Second one, an injunction... as to moral conduct, a maxim. Third, a procedural directive or rule as for the performance of some technical operation is getting more like directive or procedure like instruction. So the first level of the precepts is don't, you know, or I should say, do, you must take refuge in Buddha. So in order to be a Buddhist, you know, you kind of like, you must do this. You must go back to Buddha.

[20:50]

You must rely on awakening. The first meaning is don't kill. Like it's a rule, a commandment, don't kill. or a commandment, practice all good, benefit all beings. It's a rule. It's a commandment. The next one is, it's like an instruction. It explains to you how to be a Buddha. Always take refuge in Buddha. Avoiding evil. It's an instruction. So on that level, the yellow line is an instruction that tells you how to safely drive over the road. There's a white one too. The white ones also, don't cross the white one either. That's not good either. Stay away, don't cross the white one or the yellow one. However, the difference is, I guess, that the white one you don't get a ticket for necessarily. I guess sometimes they give you a ticket for driving over the white one, but anyway, the white one you don't get a ticket for, the yellow one you do.

[21:55]

The white one, is very bad on this road to cross over too far because you will go over the cliff and likely get in, you know, hurt yourself and your passengers. The yellow one in some ways is worse because not only will you get hurt but you'll hurt somebody else who might not even, who might be just driving down the road. So, the yellow one is even a stronger prohibition but it's also a stronger teaching. It's a stronger teaching. One is, the yellow one, the white one is dangerous over there, and the yellow one is more dangerous over there. So it's a teaching. It's a teaching to you, explaining to you a good way to drive on the road between the double yellow and the white. Try to stay between there. So a precept is a teaching teaching. It's a law, or it can be a writ or a warrant, a written order.

[22:59]

Okay. So again, a piece of advice, a rule. Okay. The word rule... By the way, the etymology of the word rule is straight. A rule means straight. It's the basis of the Latin word regula, which is the rule for the monks or the practitioners of the Latin religions, like Roman Catholicism and so on. Rule means straight. And I haven't been able to verify this etymology, but I heard that the word cannon is etymologically related to the word trellis.

[24:05]

The word trellis means three sticks, I think, or three lines. I thought it was interesting that it means three, because we have these three jewels in Buddhism, Buddha, Dharma, Sangha. I like to think of these precepts, you can think of them as a rule or as a line, but I like to think of them as more like a trellis or an arbor. And a trellis can be used to grow, to support life. And there's arbors on a wall. You can just have a rectangular grid of crossing lines or a horizontal grid of crossing or parallel lines.

[25:10]

And then a plant can grow up on them. As you know, a wisteria plant or something, it is not the shape, the plant is not the shape of the trellis. Right? The wisteria doesn't go like this. Right? But it touches this horizontal and vertical lines at various points. It hooks onto them. at various points, but then it goes out into space and makes, does its own creative expression of its own life force. But it uses the trellis as a point of support. So human beings are not, do not behave like these precepts. It would be very strange, a person who did would be very strange

[26:14]

They would be very rigid, like a plant that grew like this. It grew in straight, horizontal, and vertical lines or whatever. Well, plants don't do that. However, if without the trellis, a wisteria plant would just be a heap of vines on the ground and would get trampled or smother itself. But with the aid of a trellis, we can have this beautiful fluorescence. The same with the precepts. If you use the precepts and you're always relating to the precepts, you can grow to your fullest expression of your life. But when you touch the precept and then you swing out into space, you're still relating to the point of support. Even though you're not at the point of support, you're coming from that point. And if you go too far out without connecting again, you will fall. The planet will fall, right? It can only go so far, and it loses its power to extend itself, and then it falls, or has to curl back on itself or back to the point of support.

[27:23]

Same with the precepts. So we can use these precepts like a plant does. And a wisteria plant, for example, as you know, doesn't just use the trellis during the day or every other half hour. They use the trellis 24 hours a day. That's their life. Their life is inseparable from the precept of the trellis. So how can we use these precepts in conjunction with this vow? How can we learn to use these precepts in conjunction with this vow all the time? So they work together.

[28:26]

Remembering the vow supports remembering the precepts. Remembering the precepts helps us facilitate the vow. Although some people some people will start working on the precepts and forget the vow or if you work on the vow you'll never forget the precepts so the vow is more fundamental the intention is fundamental and the precepts are an outgrowth and facilitation of the basic vow How could they? Well, I think some people might work on the precepts just to help themselves. They might say, oh, those precepts sound good, I think I'll do that.

[29:26]

You might hear all the great bodhisattvas and buddhas have received these precepts and transmitted these precepts. They might say, oh, I want to do that. You might hear how wonderful it is to practice with the precepts, how everybody that practiced with them has become a very happy and wonderful person. They might say, I'd like to be a happy, wonderful person, and you might try to practice them, which is good. In the process, though, you might have some problems. And so if you consulted a precept teacher, they might mention to you, they might ask you, what is your vow? And you might say, my vow is to help myself first. You say, well, that's a problem there. These precepts are particularly for people who have the bodhisattva vow. And they might see, oh yeah, that would make a difference, wouldn't it, if I was trying to help others first. If you try to practice these precepts just for yourself, you'll run into a lot of trouble.

[30:28]

If you try to practice the precepts for others, it'll be really easy. Your path will be very smooth and buoyant. So in fact, practically speaking, a lot of people want to be bodhisattvas and have felt that bodhisattva vow of wanting to help all beings, and they've received the precepts, but then they've forgotten about their bodhisattva vow, and then gotten in trouble with the precepts, and then have to remember their bodhisattva vow to get out of the problem of the precepts. at their head. So going back to the source of the precepts often helps to purify the precept practice. Should I give more, should I have more? You want more input or do you want to have some discussion now?

[31:30]

How many people want to have discussion now or a little bit more input? How many people want to have more input? Question about the word again. Does the Japanese word or perhaps the word derived had a different meaning than the now English term that we use, or different etymology that would imply something different? Not really, and yet the English word precept isn't quite the same. I can't say how they're different, and yet I think probably the Sanskrit word and the Japanese word or Chinese word also don't quite do it. Anyway, when I hear precept, I hear both. Fundamentally, I hear teaching. And law, like the way it is, rather than something you're supposed to do.

[32:39]

The way it really is, or the way you really are, rather than somebody else telling you to be that way. That's the way I hear it. I hear the precepts talking about the way we really are. Really who we are is we're not killers. Our essence is, our living essence is not a killer. Our living essence is a non-killer. Our living essence is a non-stealer, a non-thief. Our living essence is that we return to our enlightenment all the time. We're at our enlightened nature. Our living essence is that we are always doing good. Our essence is good. In other words, our true essence, our true life, the greatest life for us is to be helpful to others, to free others from suffering. That's our greatest and most essential quality. So precept is about the way you really fundamentally, ultimately are.

[33:45]

It's about the way you are at the last moment of your life. and you think of the most important thing to accomplish in your life, that's what the precepts are at that time. And also, when you first came into life, before you even had a body, the reason you came to be here was to help other beings. You knew it was going to, on some level, little bit you knew it was going to be hard, but you came anyway in order to help. However, once you hit the frying pan, you got nervous. Like I often tell the story, you know, when I was 13, I had a little insight. I had teenage problems like the rest of the kids, just as bad as most, maybe not as bad as some, but I had pretty bad problems. And I just had this little insight that my problems, the ones I had,

[34:48]

would all go away if I would just be kind to people. I just sort of could see that that would just like drop all my concerns. Like if you have pimples, you know, and you're worried about them, which some teenagers are, if your agenda is to be kind to people, it doesn't really matter if you have pimples. But if your agenda is for people to be kind to you, then pimples are kind of a problem. Because you're kind of asking for it, you know? You're kind of asking for your friends to say, what is that, a road map of the major cities in the United States? Not very kind, but how can they resist, you know what I mean? But if you're... If your agenda is to be kind to them, them making comments about your pimples is not really a problem. Now they're talking about my pimples being kind of like little red dots all over this vast expanse.

[35:54]

Now, what can I do to be helpful? It doesn't really... It's as good an opportunity as the other. Anyway, I saw that. And I saw it, I don't know what time of day it was when I saw that, but I actually went to school with the agenda to practice it. I was going to go to school and just say, be kind to everybody. What could be more fun? And all these neat people to try it on. Kids younger than you, your own age, older than you, teachers. Just go and be kind. You can do it. You can do it. You can do it by being quiet. Like the teachers like you to be quiet. Be quiet. That's kind, you know. You can do it by answering questions. You can do it by... There's millions of ways to do it. So let's go to school and be kind. You open the door and there's a gorgeous girl. You forget. Kind? What do you mean kind? Just like, do you like me? It's like, oh, no, do you like me?

[36:55]

Not what can I do for you? And then, you know, people just zipping, you know, high speed. You know, you have to watch out for your body, you know, my body. What's going to happen to me? Boom, boom, boom, boom. Can you remember when that's happening? What is it again? What was it? I knew I had this insight. It would be the end of my problems. What was it? I can't remember. So you just go with it. Yeah. Right? It's hard to remember. But the insight still, I mean, I knew the insight was correct, but I just couldn't remember. And you go out of school, you know, leave school, go home, be miserable, and remember, oh yeah, that was it again, go back, try again. But sometimes it'd be weeks between remembering, you know, months or years. And then, again, you remember, you know, a few years later, you remember, try again. And a few years later, I remember even more.

[37:55]

I try again. This time I'm really going to go. But how will I be able to sustain this? Has anybody been able to do this? I mean, probably other people had this insight, but was anybody ever able to remember to practice this in high school? But what college? How about graduate school? Anyway, so I read some stories, you know, about Zen monks. It could have been Sufi monks. It could have been Jewish monks. It could have been Christian monks. But the first ones I read about these guys who, like, even in high school, they weren't in high school anymore, but in situations which are as challenging and as exciting as high school, you know, stuff flying at them from all directions, they remembered. They didn't... Stuff happening, you know, like... They say, mm-hmm, yeah.

[39:00]

Let's see, now, what could I do to be helpful now? What's happening? What is happening here? What's happening? What is this? What's happening? Now, what is this about? Mm, what's this? People that could remember... who they were, what they were about, even when getting slapped around. Or how about remembering who you are even when you're getting caressed. Oh, you're the most wonderful thing. How about remembering that? So I read stories about people who could remember when they were being slugged and remember when they were being praised. I thought, wow, that's really cool. That is the coolest. That is the coolest, you know? Like these hitmen, you know, the shoot shooter, you know, like Ulysses S. Grant, you know. He'd sit there, you know, he'd sit there. He sat there at Vicksburg, you know, for months and months, you know, bombs dropping all over him. Just sit there, just bop, bop, bop. Just sat there, you know. People can do that. People, I mean... They can learn to be present with bombs dropping all around them, with people insulting them.

[40:05]

But the same people get maybe distracted when the war is over and they get their medals and they can make president. And all the rich people come and say, oh, Ulysses, you're so cool. He totally got wiped out by that. He couldn't handle it. So the Zen monks, they could not only handle the offense and the insult, But they could handle the praise. They could handle, you know, the beautiful, beautiful people, the beautiful, rich, famous people they could handle, and the rotten, evil, sick monsters they could handle. That's cool. How did they do it? That's what I couldn't figure out. And then I found out. How did they do it? Zazen. That's how they did it. That's how they practiced. So that even... In the midst of a whirlwind, even in the midst of... They stay there and remember, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah.

[41:07]

Helping others, helping others. Oh, it's relaxing, refreshing to remember that. And another something happens to you and assaults you and then the self comes up and you get scared because you hold yourself. And then, oh yeah, help others and the self drops away and you can stay there. And the Buddha's, the story of the Buddha's just like that. The Buddha was, wanted to help others, wanted to realize helping all beings. And when he finally said, I'm going to really, I'm going to fully realize what it means to help all beings. And then the demons really came and tested him, right? And he said, Mother Earth, help me. Help me sit through this. And she did. And he sat through it. And he woke up to the essence of the true human nature So that's why we need Zazen in order to actually practice these precepts in the tremendously intense situation of having a body and interacting with other bodies, human, non-human, plant, at high speeds, at low speeds, at shocking speeds, at caressing speeds.

[42:21]

whatever, you know, that we can be present with that and remember what it is that's most important, what it is that sets us free. However, to practice sitting without this vow doesn't realize the way. So it's the combination of this stability and the vow to help others. The combination is what's the Buddha way. If we sit without that, it's concentration and it's helpful, but it doesn't remind us by itself of what we're here for. And similarly, if we try to practice good, avoid evil and help beings without stability of zazen, we lose it. We can't remember. So before we sit, it's good before you sit, just when you bow to your cushion, also you can say, now I sit to save all sentient beings.

[43:35]

Just like that. Just remind yourself of what you're sitting for. That's why we keep our eyes open in Zen meditation. Keep our eyes open to remember why we're sitting. Why are we sitting? Because of them. Them other folks. to remind us what we're here for. So, Rab, this is one of the reasons that zazen is the same thing as the precepts. Could you say that the desire behind the vow, the root of the vow, is by being enlightened And the practice of zazen connects you to the understanding that will bring you that desire to save all beings. Zazen is basically that we're all one.

[44:41]

Zazen is what we're all doing together. Zazen is not something I personally go do in the zendo by myself. Zazen is what we're all really doing here. And from zazen comes the bodhisattva vow. But you may not know that because you maybe can't see that, you can't see the zazen that we've all been doing for eons. You can't see that. So the first thing you may see is the bodhisattva vow, is when it comes up into the words, I want to help other people. I want to be kind. That's what I can do in this world. You may not notice that, that came up out of zazen. And then, in order to protect this spirit, in order to protect it so it can grow into a huge tree. Zazen protects it. So it comes from Zazen and Zazen protects it. And Zazen is a, you know, in the sense of formal sitting, Zazen is a ritual, physical mudra expressing the Bodhisattva vow.

[45:51]

But people can sit in that mudra and not understand that what that mudra is about is all beings are one. That's what the mudra is about. But here's the mudra. This is our mudra, right? This mudra means everyone in the universe is helping me sit. That's what this mudra means. Everybody in the universe is helping me sit. The entire universe is helping me sit. And my sitting... helps the entire universe. That's what this hand mudra means. It's called the cosmic concentration mudra. It means the whole cosmos is concentrated in this circle. All beings are helping me do this practice. And the same with my arms, my legs, my whole body. All beings help this posture. And this posture is helping all beings. But it helps us if we remind ourselves of that when we sit. I now sit in order to help all beings.

[46:57]

I now sit because of the kindness of all beings, I now sit. Because all beings support me, I now sit. And I now sit to support all beings. All beings embrace and sustain me in this practice, and I practice this way to embrace and sustain all beings. You can say that to yourself, or you can just feel it. If you don't feel it, say it. Say it, unless you have something better to do, until you feel it. Until you're full, you know, what is called enthusiasm, means full of it. Until you're full of the spirit of all beings are kind to me, and I want to be kind to all beings. Until you're full of that spirit, say it over until you get it. Think of it throughout the day. Remember it. Now, I want to say something about confession, the practice of confession, which again, when I first started practicing Zen, I didn't know anything about this practice of confession.

[48:17]

And the stories I read, there was nothing about the practice of confession. The stories I read were about, they were success stories, basically. I didn't get turned on by the failure stories. And there are failure stories that are wonderful. They're wonderful. For example, it's very good, I was very happy to find out recently that Shakyamuni Buddha had back problems. Anyway, because I do too, you know. Anyway, before we receive the precepts in a formal ceremony, and every day, every morning here too, now, we confess all our ancient twisted karma from beginningless greed, hate and delusion, born through body, speech and mind, through our physical karma, our vocal karma and our thought, in those ways we manifest greed, hate and delusion from beginningless time.

[49:20]

I confess it. Before we receive the precepts, before we take refuge in Buddha, we say that. formally, but we feel it too, we feel. And in little ways, throughout the day, even if we don't say that formally, we notice our errors, we notice our non-virtue. Me noticing my non-virtue protects all beings. Bodhisattvas do not go around noticing other people's non-virtue. They notice their own. That's a precept too. not speaking of the faults of others, and also not noticing, hey, I don't break the precepts, but I have a feeling somebody else does. No, Bodhisattva, there's a rule, there's a teaching about that. The teaching is don't get into that. Don't get into thinking that you're better than other people.

[50:24]

And don't get into talking about what other people's problems are. It's an instruction there, a prohibitory instruction. But before receiving the refuges, before going back to Buddha, you say, I've had problems from beginningless time. Not only that, but recently too I have. So I have this vow, this wonderful vow, and I have these teachings that and this meditation practice to support and sustain this vow. But I slip. You know, somebody slaps me in the face, somebody spits in my face. And I may think that that wasn't, you know, a love story. I may jump to the conclusion, I think they were trying to insult me when they stepped in my face.

[51:29]

Rather than stop and say, what did you mean by that? And they may say, well, I was trying to be disrespectful. Oh, okay, I got it. Now I know. Oh, so now I know. You're trying to be disrespectful to me. Okay, now what's the thing now? Oh, now how can I help you? How can I help you? You want to be disrespectful to me? How can I help you? What can we do to facilitate this? You said, you know, you spit in my face. How about throwing a little mud at me? Would that be good? Now you're being condescending. No, no, I'm really not. I actually think this is a good idea. I want to help you do this. But how does helping yourself so that you can help others tie into that?

[52:32]

To allow someone to throw mud at you might not be good for them. If it's not good for them, then don't help them. Don't help them if it's not good for them. But it very likely wouldn't be good for them to throw mud at me. Especially if I read on my end, you know, they get, you know, kind of get some exercise out of it. It might be good for them to do that. How do you know? Ah, that's an important point. How do you know? This bodhisattva thing is not about knowing. It's about wanting to help people, it's not about knowing. So, put in parenthesis, self-righteousness, we'll talk about that next week. That's the thing about confession. Confession is part of what helps you not be self-righteous, is confessing. If I confess what I do, my non-virtue, my slips away from the bodhisattva vow, if I do that, pretty much moment by moment as it's happening,

[53:38]

I don't think I'm hot stuff. And so, I mean, I wouldn't then think I would be able to know what's helpful to people. I wouldn't slip into that very likely because, I mean, I am like, I mean, I'm pretty much, you know, the lowest of low. Now, other people may have their problems, but I'm not keeping track of them. Now, you may think there's some really bad people around, but still, if you're working on yourself, you do not, even if they do one huge horrible thing or 55 huge horrible things that you've heard about, it's nothing compared to what you do yourself if you keep track of yourself. Now, if you keep track of yourself once every three weeks, you notice something, a problem about yourself once every three weeks, then you could easily notice other people have more problems than you. Because some people, you know, do something weird more than once every three weeks.

[54:40]

But if you only notice yourself doing something off once every three weeks, then you can see other people would be kind of like below you, morally, right? But if you keep track of yourself, since you're up close to yourself, you can realize that you go against the precepts so often that it's almost impossible that anybody could be, you know, lower than you. You really do get the feeling that you are the lowest. being depressed. You don't have to keep from being depressed at that point. You are completely happy at that point. Because you are protected from the most dangerous thing. What's the most dangerous thing? Depression? No. What's the source of depression? Taking yourself seriously. People who are depressed are not worried about other people. They're worried about what other people did to them and how other people, you know, they lost, you know, how they lost their husband and wife.

[55:43]

They're not worried about their husband and wife, they're worried that they lost their husband and wife. People are depressed, they're concerned about number one. They don't have time for number two or number ten or number million. If you confess, you start getting free of worrying about, if you're confessing, you're not worrying about yourself. Confession is not a thing that somebody does when they're worried about themselves. After you confess, you might worry a little bit. But if you're confessing intensely, you don't have time to worry. You've got something else to confess. If you're at the bottom, sweetie pie, you're not depressed. When you're inching from the bottom, you think, God, what if I go lower? When you get to the bottom, you know, you're there, you can't get any lower, you're okay. Nobody can hurt you anymore. Only one person can hurt you, and that's you. And you're going to call it every time you do, so you'll be all right. Confession buoys you up and sets you free. The point of confession is to free you from depression.

[56:45]

And it does when you do it wholeheartedly, moment by moment. Buddhists do that. That's why they're so happy. They're unloading all their crap constantly. And if they're generating any new stuff, they're dropping it. Moment by moment, they're dropping it. Boom, boom, boom. They're free, they're light, they're clean. They've come clean. They're not hiding anymore. They got nothing to hide. They couldn't be any worse. There's no kind of like face to hold up anymore. Nothing to be depressed about. There's nobody there to be depressed. But holding back and not confessing, then guess who's holding back what for what? Keeping our face on. That's what depresses us. Heavier and heavier face. So heavy to carry such a face. And zazen is confession itself.

[57:50]

Because in zazen you just sit up face, up face, put your face up and drop your face. Your face just drops off in uprightness. In front of your face, back of your face, your ears fall off, your arms fall off, everything just falls off. That's why zazen is actually confession. Zazen is a way to physically enact confessing where you're at. I'm nervous, I'm angry. I'm in pain, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Just let it be and don't lean forward, backwards, right or left. Yes. Would you talk a little, please, about the, well, I have heard that it's physiologically and otherwise not good for one to have a very active internal negative critic. What is the difference between, I mean... Between negative critic and confession?

[58:56]

Yes. Confession is not being negative. Confession is admitting... It's the end of all that's to go wrong? No, you just understand that. It's not a criticism, it's a fact. But confession, confession is just, confession isn't like, confession isn't like, what do you call it? Okay, I was just cruel to somebody and I'm a jerk. That's not confession. Confession is, I was just cruel to somebody. That's it. It's not, and I was a jerk. You could say, and I'm a jerk. Say, now I'm calling myself bad names too. I confess that. Confession is not criticism. It's calling a spade a spade. It's not overdoing it. It's not like, you know, this story, you know. So I'm driving, I'm in a traffic jam, right? I'm driving down the street with my wife. I'm heading for a traffic jam. So I take a left to avoid the traffic jam and drive into another traffic jam that's worse.

[59:59]

And then I say, that was the stupidest thing I've ever done. And my wife says, even when you confess, you congratulate yourself. So I didn't just confess, I congratulated myself. Rather than, I was stupid. I said that was the stupidest thing. like you know pretty good huh I admitted it was stupid but then I also quit going that was stupid but you're basically a really smart person because that's the dumbest thing you've ever done see how quick you are to but confession is just like but not not in a mean way just like okay there see what see how it works there boy oh there I was selfish that's enough Oh, there's number one.

[61:01]

I like him a lot. Oh, there he is. Oh, boy. He got insulted, and he's going to get mad, maybe. Or maybe he did get mad because he got insulted. There I got angry. There I got defensive. There I... Like last night, you know, Christina was leaving town, you know, and she made, what do you call them, apricot goodies for everybody, right? I saw her making them, right? But then I left. before they were served. I didn't know she was making for everybody. And then I got a message on my telephone that she had set aside some for my wife. Now, did she set them aside for my wife and not for me because she's mad at me? Or what? Or did she serve them to everybody? So this morning I tried to ascertain whether she served them to everybody. And she did. And she assumed that I was there. And she knew my wife wasn't at dinner, so she set some aside for my wife.

[62:05]

But I didn't get angry until I checked it up. to see what was going on. Now, if she had, in fact, made it for my wife and certain other special people, but not for me, then I still wouldn't necessarily have gotten angry, but I would have tried to find out. Now, what was he trying to tell me by... I could have got angry, but actually, fortunately, I don't like apricot things. LAUGHTER In this particular case, I think I would have, if she had not, if she had specifically avoided giving it to me and given it to other people, even people quite close to me, I think I would have said, I would have gone in there and said, you know, okay, Christina, now, what's this about? What are you trying to tell me as you're going off to Europe, making special treats for everybody and not me? What's this about? Now, of course, I could have, if it wasn't, if it was cheesecake or something I like, Or pecan pie.

[63:08]

I'm not giving you any hints. Then it might have been a little more dicey, you know. But in this case, it was more like I did see the opportunity and I never did get angrier. But I wondered, you know. I wondered what was going on. I don't think I slipped in this particular case. You know, it worked out pretty well. I do slip other times, but I didn't think there was much in this one. So it was a very happy story of investigation. Now, she told me actually about one time when somebody told me she felt something or she had some opinion. She told me just as she was leaving that there was a time when... when somebody told me that she had an opinion and I believed that person without checking it out with her and she asked me not to do that I said I vow to if I hear that Christina blah blah I'll just say so and so said Christina said blah blah I'll just remember that if I want to find out if that's true I'll ask you and I won't assume it's true until I talk to you she asked me to do that because that hurt her one time when I did that

[64:22]

So in this case... So in fact, I was going to do that in this case. I didn't assume that she excluded me until I did more investigation, and in fact, she didn't. But I could have done that, and I could have gotten upset about it, and then I would have something to confess. But in this case, I didn't have something to confess, but I had some other things to confess, don't worry. So confession... Confession is a practice you should start practicing right now through this class because as you start thinking about these precepts you will probably notice if you're Buddha, you will notice. It's kind of like the emperor's clothes thing, right? You will notice if you're Buddha that you're slipping on these precepts, that there's some, sometimes when you maybe you don't really put everybody else before you. Sometimes you put yourself kind of like up even with them Or maybe even ahead of somebody? Well, that's fine.

[65:26]

Then you can do the practice which all the Buddhas do at that time, namely confess it and go on. So confession is the practice that we do to realize this way. It isn't that we've already realized perfectly these precepts. As a matter of fact, as human beings, as long as we have the slightest dualistic thought in our mind, we always violate all of them. So, you know, all the time, violating all 16, every moment, if you have the slightest lack of enlightenment. So you should have something to confess. Yes? You had said that the precepts were the law, the way it came to be, and as you were talking about confessing, there's also the law of we're not living the precepts. Right. So it's, Yes. Well, so on the conventional level of dualistic thinking, which I just was talking about, on that level of dualistic thinking, I am violating the precepts all the time.

[66:33]

Just to think that you can do anything, to think that you can do any karmic act of vocal, mental, or physical, to think that you can do anything independently of all beings, that violates the precepts. And we do think that way, so we're basically violating the precepts a lot, basically non-stop. You know, not, if there's a thought, a dualistic thought, the precepts are broken. Dualistic thought, precepts are broken. Now, how that comes down varies in different situations. Like sometimes it comes down by being angry and blah, blah, blah. It seems to be manifesting. But when there's anger, when there's anger, all the other ones are broken too. But you may notice anger first, and then if you look at it, you see, oh, they all fall at the same time. There's anger buddha falls too. They all fall. That's at the conventional level. At the conventional level, if you study the conventional level thoroughly, you will see lots of things to confess. At the essential level, the precepts are teachings about how to get to the essential level of our being, our Buddha level.

[67:39]

At the Buddha level, the precepts are never, ever broken. Buddhas never talk about other people's faults. They never praise themselves in isolation of other beings. They never get angry. And so on. But again, I'll tell you right off, Not getting angry means that you don't get angry when you shouldn't get angry, and you do get angry when you should get angry. That's called not being angry. Buddhas get angry when everybody in the universe is getting angry. So Buddhas, at the level of which we're doing everything together, the precepts are never violated. At the level we're all working together, there's no violation of the precepts. At the level of where we're acting independently, there's non-stop violation of precepts. The conventional world is the world of where we're separate. The ultimate world of Buddha is where we're all connected.

[68:42]

At that level, the precepts are what's happening. At the level of where we're separated, the precepts are what's not happening. You may say they happen relatively, but that's only because you don't examine thoroughly. If you examine thoroughly, you see Basically, they're all going out the window constantly. But we have confession practice to free us from that and get us back in the flow again to make another mistake. So again, Dogen Zenji says the bodhisattva practice is one continuous mistake. Continuous, not one occasional mistake or several occasions. It's just one mistake, [...] mistake. And that being is the being which also realizes that in fact the precepts are exactly what's always happening perfectly at the same time. So there's mistake level and non-mistake level and they're going along together perfectly. So confession is a wonderful practice.

[69:52]

We do it before we receive the precepts, formally, but also throughout the day, noticing our non-virtue, noticing our dualistic thinking, noticing, noticing, noticing. It constantly frees us, such as free, so we can re-enter the practice. Yes? I was wondering, how do you practice kindness? Like, let's say you've been going a while and you haven't been remembering it. To be kind to other people, and it hasn't been a focus of your life. And suddenly you remember it, but it's not like a memory that comes out of necessity, like a genuine desire. The word doesn't seem to feel that way, but it just means right in this context, yeah. I mean, how do you practice that? So now you're just walking along here, maybe a green gulch, and a thought comes up in your mind, be kind?

[70:55]

Well, no, not necessarily. Let's say you're in a situation where you haven't been being kind, and it occurs to you, that you should be being kind, or that you would like to want to be being kind? You would like to want to be kind. I'm trying to get a foothold here. The thought occurs to you, I would like to want to be kind. I mean, I don't want to be kind right now. I would like to say something really nasty to this person, but actually I prefer to want to be kind. I don't want to, but I would like to be. So, just to sort of want to learn to be kind is where you're at. Okay, so how would you do that? Well, I might just say to myself, maybe if I said that again that would help. I would, you know, maybe under my breath, I would like to learn how to be kind. I would like to learn how to be kind. I would like to learn how to be kind. When I say that, I start to relax here. I would like to say it.

[71:57]

I would like to learn to be kind. I would like to learn to be kind. It resonates nicely right around my heart. I would like to learn to be kind. It doesn't hurt to say that. It aches a little bit, but it's a nice feeling. I would like to learn to be kind. [...] I would like to learn to like to be kind. I would like to learn to like to be kind. I would like to learn to like to be kind. I would like to learn to love to be kind. I would like to be kind. I would like to learn... All those kinds of different things, just say them, and you may find the one that resonates most nicely with your body, the one that's sort of like the most warm, most resonant, most kind of vital, that's your... That's your vow for today anyway. I was talking to someone earlier today, there's that little choo-choo that's going up the hill saying, I think I can, I think I can.

[72:58]

Sometimes I think I can is where you're at. I think I can, I think I can. And I know I can. I'm going to, [...] I'm going to. At different points you have different things to say. Sometimes it's like I would like to learn how to do that. Sometimes I definitely want to. I definitely want to. I definitely want to be kind to this person. I definitely want to be kind to this person. But even when you definitely want to be kind to this person, still you're at the stage maybe where I definitely want to be, but I keep forgetting all the time. But still I want to be. You get to the point where after a while... it's possible, apparently from these stories that I read, to not only want to be, but actually not forget that you want to be. To want to be, to want to be. But again, I want to say again, to want to be kind does not mean you know how to be kind. If you know how to be kind, I say you're self-righteous.

[73:59]

But wanting to be kind means, here we are together, I don't know what kindness is, but I think if I just say that over and over with you, and we all say it together, I think maybe it will manifest, but I don't know how. Bodhisattvas want to help, they don't go around saying, I am helpful. They don't go up and say, what I just said to you was helpful. To you, for you, what I just said was helpful for you. Now, they might say that as an experiment in helpfulness, but really it would just be an experiment. They wouldn't know that it would be helpful to talk like that. Basically, you know, the customer is always right. If it liberates beings and makes them happy and free and fearless, then it's helpful. So let's see.

[75:05]

Let's see. Are they liberated? Are they free? Are they happy? Are they fearless? If so, maybe I'm part of that. It doesn't steal the Bodhisattva. It also doesn't think, I did it. You know, I made them healthy, happy, fearless, blah, blah. But that's what I want to be. I want to do that. I want to be part of that for every person. But clearly the other person is doing plenty too, if that happens. So, altogether again, zazen shows the way that we realize these precepts and is not something that you do. It's something that you desire, that you want, and it's coming up out of you, out of your heart. So, my notes, you know, for this class were, which I didn't, you know, the first thing I was going to say, I didn't say, and that is, that these precepts are like koans.

[76:07]

So in a koan class I said that the way to approach the Zen stories is, you know, the way to approach the koans is that they are koans. Koan means public case. Public case of what? It's a public case, a public example of enlightenment. That's what those stories are. So you're approaching the world of Buddha. You're approaching a story of Buddha in action. The way we approach that is by being upright. Precepts are also koans. The precepts are koans. They are public examples, public cases of enlightenment in action. Now everybody knows that you can't understand koans just by going up and grabbing them. They'll throw you for a loop if you do, right? You'll fail, or you'll succeed and then you'll fail. Whatever, you know. You have to develop this unattached relationship to ultimate reality.

[77:11]

If you grab ultimate reality, it will burn you to a crisp. If you turn away from it, you'll freeze to death. We need to have an intimate relationship with reality. Not too close, not too far. Not identifying with it, not separating from it. Being upright is what we call the proper relationship to the precepts, to the Zen stories, and to all beings. Which means you don't lean into people, you don't lean away from people. You don't lean to the right of people, left of people. You don't lean into the precepts, you don't lean away from the precepts. You don't mean to the right or the left. You don't say, this is what the precepts mean, or this is not what the precepts mean. All your mind can do that, you let that drop. You face the precept naked, empty-handed, not knowing what they mean, and yet be close to them. Just like with the Zen story. Same approach. Get close to precepts.

[78:16]

Live with them. Move in with them. Go shopping with them. Go gather worms with them. Hang out with them. Don't get ahead of them. Don't get behind them. Don't get to the right of them, left of them. Be upright. Be present with the precepts. This is the first door to the precepts. These precepts are not to be grabbed. They are to be lived. They are to be danced with. So that's the first thing I wanted to say, but turned out to be the last thing I'm saying. Approach the precepts through being upright. And again, That's how zazen is the gate to the precepts. And I've been talking all night about the precepts are the gate to zazen. They're gates to each other. We need them both in perfect intimacy to do Buddhist practice. Okay? So, so you can come up and get a reading list and you can read books if you want to or you can just

[79:23]

Meditate on the bodhisattva vow and notice how you're following your face all the time or whatever, you know. Anyway, see if you can think of these precepts 24 hours a day like a wisteria does. And a simple way to think about them is just this bodhisattva vow. Always think of how to help others. Basically, that's where they're coming from. And be upright with that vow. Okay? Okay?

[79:49]

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