huh
huh
i heard someone say i want to
live my life for others
where did you say that would be i want to live this life for others
or i vow
to live this life for others
that's what some people want it put some people val
some people some humans some persons who are not human also
ah
seem to wow
to live for others like i just thought of fun
sled dogs
they don't send a really big and they do sometimes get into living for themselves you know like when they're around the kennel fighting over food but that's not their happiness their happiness is when they give their life
two running
and pulling a sled that's what they like to do they like to give their life to the thing called
does this other thing called
pulling a sled
they love it so much they'll kill themselves if to stop em do otherwise they won't rest they love it so much
so now it isn't just it isn't just human beings that might want to
live for others
for something other than himself
many kinds of being can do this and another way to say this is i want to give myself or i want to give this life
i give this life
i want to make this life a gift he and you can add others i want to give this life to others that's fine or are not to say i want to give this life
and again i heard someone say all i can do is give this life and
maybe she meant that's all she could do that's all she could see that she could do is give this life
and i don't disagree with that but just there's other ways to put it
i vow to give this life
all i can do as vowed to give this life
ha
and then i'd also could say i vowed to give this life which has been given
i vowed to give this life
which has been received
i vow to give this life which has been received
i vowed to give this life which i receive i have ought to give this life which is received
i vowed to receive this life which i give
which has been received which i do receive which i give
different ways to get into this process of receiving a life and giving a life now when we feel like we already are alive and have a life than we might say i want to evolve to give this life
but it's nice it's also nice to notice that the life which you seem to have you received
it's a little bit more complete picture than just i vow to give this life i vowed to give this life which i had perceived i've ought to receive life
and give the life and receive life and give life in a way receiving his first but you know for a second i'm not grapes
i want to
receive life and give life one receive i want to give this life which has been received i want to do that i vowed to do that and
also
i might vow to notice
receive life and give life but i might i vowed to be aware
i'm receiving life and giving life
i want to live this kind of life
but also want to be aware of living the life of receiving and giving life
and then and in an add onto that he might say i want to have a concentrated awareness
i wanna be focused
on the awareness
have receiving life and giving life receiving life and giving life of giving the life retired received and also i've given this life which then gives life which is received and given
i vow not just enter the process but to enter it concentrated lee focus they consistently i'd like to not just think of it once in awhile but think about all the time i would like to be consistently focused
on this and then i haul in you know the kind of like go
and promote tour of soto zen in the lineage which i
live in
which says that the focused awareness of receiving this life and giving this life and receiving the slope and giving this life the the focused awareness on that
is the genuine
path of enlightenment
that
concentration practice that meditation practice is the genuine past of enlightenment so in a sense this is the
yeah this is the authentic genuine meditation of the school that i'm living in and speaking for
are speaking from
there's many other kinds of meditation and i i totally want to honor them i just want to make clear that this is
the hallmark the standard
of this of the samadi of this of a particular school
which in the school we say that this is the path the true path of enlightenment
there's nothing exclusive about it because it totally includes everybody in in the process
so people are doing other kinds of meditation they give me life and i give them the life which they gave me however they may not be aware of the process because they're doing another kind of meditation where they're trying to focus on something else
which may not open them to this awareness
so i think the last class i'm not sure but i think the last class that we had here at the yoga room
i was called the buddhist samadi was it the last one
self-fulfilling samadi for self-fulfilling smarties also can become buddhas somebody because the buddhist practice a self-fulfilling samadi it's it's a name for them
a buddhist meditation can also be called the ancestors somebody and it can also be called the samadi of the self
so it's another name for that but now i'm speaking of the same note same practice but amplifying that the the the vow
to live this meditation and bringing in that this meditation practice has an element of vow in it that you you wish you've are you desire
to enter into this to enter in and be aware of this kind of life this kind of life is called
the buddhist meditation for the it's a life of buddhist of the practice of buddha's
and also it ah
in terms of buddhist practice or buddhist meditation
sometimes you may you may hear about the self
fulfilling or the self receiving and employing awareness
and then there's another awareness which is called the other
yeah the
the other receiving and employing awareness so once called juju use on my in japanese
are chinese and the other one's called pod you you
so one is receiving
and employing the awareness of receiving an implying and the others a weren't as for this receiving an employee self receiving unemployment these other is other receiving unemployment so one is the way
that we
are aware of this process and are illuminated inwardly illuminated and enjoy the process by which we are created and by which we participate in creation
inwardly we we we received that the illumination of this process the other is we outwardly teach this to to others we show others
but they're both included in this both being illuminated and enjoying that illumination
and also illuminating and teaching others about this
and again it can be call also the samadhi or the concentration of the self but it's not the self pity that exists separately from other beings it's the self which is by
born
through the support of other beings and which is given back to
other beings
it's that self concentrating on that self
being aware of it and
remembering to be aware of it
for example you know now i hear a piano but also i'm talking and about earlier when when we were sitting
there were so i think maybe there are two piano playing on our nope
and
sometimes i thought it was quite pleasant to if i listened to the piano music
other times it was the long pleasant because the two pianos one we're coming together in a kind of irritating way for me
but when night but when i looked at how
this life was received
received received received this life this self received this is so this is it
a life which is a self a particular life which is a self self which is a life if i look at how this life is received then the the music almost disappears for me
which if the music is irritating or to sound is irritating it's a relief from the irritation
and if the music is pleasant it's a giving up of them it's giving them the pleasant music away but when i'm fucked when i'm focused on on how i'm receiving this life then i'm not i'm not excuse the expression jacked around by pleasant and unpleasant sounds i'm not disturbed
by the things that are contributing to me when i'm emphasizing and how they're contributing to me
but if i don't look at how they're contributing to me i may be i may be disturbed or when have been disturbed me the way i'll be disturbed me and somewhat positive way or be disturbed in part potentially quite irritating way i noticed that that when i was focusing on receiving and soul
this is a kind of like a little bit of sales talk is that sometimes when things get really difficult like if you're really irritated big time and lots of pain if you think if you look at the pain
it's it's not just pain but you're disturbed about it maybe when you look at it out there when you see how your
how your life is given to you at the moment of the pain the pain is life-giving
in a particular way to you you are born of this pain and also this person is born in the pain is also given
not some i think it's not to japan has given but you give life your life giving and life receiving and when you do that then whether you're in pain or not is not the big issue
the biggest year is
receiving life
and implying the life which received
and then there's an element of i've heard that this is a relief from suffering but also it's not just a relief from suffering
if the path to enlightenment
and i want to practice that way maybe
so than that practice is an expression of a vow
the practice that way to live that way
so that were time together this again meditation practice
the self receiving and employing somebody with the vow
to give your life
the others but also
to appreciate that others have given your life
so now about to live for others but vow to be aware that others are living for you
to bill you don't have to you don't have to vow that others are living for you
a sense you can do that but you don't have to the already doing doing that you don't have to want that but you can add your want to the what they're already doing you're helping me and i watch it to your supporting me and i wanted to you're supporting me and i vow that you'll continue its kind of funny but
but i read but i do vau but i know that although i may not
i may not want you to support me or and may want you to support me you're going to anyway but i really would like to be aware of that and remember that because if i don't
i'll be in trouble more or less now if i if i know but if i switched to living for others and giving my life to others that'll pull me out of the trouble or forgetting that others have given me life and opened me to see that others are giving me life so i do want to know
i want to be aware that others are supporting me cause they are and i want to be aware that i'm supporting others cause i am and i'd like to be consistent on that but i'm not
not yet
i'm not completely and that samadhi so that's what i and i want to be completely in that somebody because then i'll be receiving all the support in giving the support more fully in a way
more more intense a more intensity in a way because of the awareness of what i'm doing
and what you're doing
so it seems to augment other people waking up to it if if we wake up to it's going on anyway but if we are awake to it we don't realize it and then were suffer
and when we suffer and light
you know etc right greek
we don't appreciate what people are giving us how they're giving us you know their work we don't appreciate our life which they're giving us and then we don't appreciate them because we don't think they're giving us life and were actually upset that they're not giving a slight because they should be giving a slave et cetera it's a mess if you'd lose track of us
so you might want you my vow to to not so much live this way but
be aware of this way
which realizes living this way more fully that makes sense
and
you can actually turn your awareness to this at least think about it and noticed that if you eat you if you think about it you start to open to it and the way if the way i think about it another the way you think about it is not it like the way i think about how i received this life is not actually the way i
received this life
but it opens me to it orients me towards the receiving process rather than the i don't know what do you know arguing with what's being given process
just what we you know
slip into and we're not looking at the receiving and giving
are looking for the receiving and giving or vowing vowing that
when evolving is also good i wish to
be aware of this in some ways i really can't make myself be aware of it because it's not really conceivable
howard
how we're saving our life how everybody supporting our like this we can have a conception or but that's not how it's happening
but if i turn towards us awareness or and at the beginning it's conceptual unthinking the willingness to think about this kind of thing is actually opening to a different way of thinking it's kind of unusual so the openness to this strange way of thinking opened you to something which is even stranger
which is the actuality of this process
so this is a major token it but it's a token actually towards
towards the actual opening to this actual process
now this is the actual process of enlightenment there's also an actual process in a way of delusion delusions not actual but the process by which we get involved in it
and believe it there's that too but we're already pretty open to that so that's fine
and actually food open more to being diluted that would also be another strange thing to do an opening to delusion would also make it i would say generally speaking we'd be open more open to enlightenment
any questions or feedback on this
yes nancy
those
there's some people you that you that you wanna give you like them
yeah i'm not good that's good so that's and and so you have just confessed that and if you if if then maybe later you'll have some feelings about the fact that some you don't want to give your life to some people
maybe some feelings about that later or even now you may
i personally when i when i noticed i don't want to give my life just someone i feel a little bad
how feel real bad
i feel just the right amount bad
i'm a little bit bragging when i said that
in other words i feel the amount of bad or pain or sorrow which prods me
to get over that limitation the not trying to get over it but
so and an end in the vow that we chanted at the beginning as by revealing and disclosing our lack of faith and practice before the buddha's so
ah you have just revealed your lack of practice of giving your life to all beings
but but you revealed it and then if you feel some repentance about it
you will get over it someday you will get over like limiting your gift
and then you'll feel you feel really good
there's a transgression
tours given to all beings that you're confessing
but also and then if you if you open to a hub if you open to whole beings who you don't particularly feel like you want to give your life do like the pianists who are working together to irritate you and you're meditating if you would open to how they're giving you life and noticed that that way of seeing the process is
is more comfortable
then thinking that you've got a life and that they're irritating it
but rather that their music or their contrapuntal interacting sound sending to you which is somewhat jarring to your meditation to your tranquillity or whatever that that gives you that gives you the life of this nancy right now that's the actual living person
and she's born of that if you open to that that will also i think
open you to be
maybe generous to them who you didn't want to give your life to before
the a combination of noticing the receiving side of even people you don't feel generous towards that actually opened you to feel generous towards those people and also admitting that you don't feel generous is part of the process to if they aren't being honest part i'm honestly not wanting to do this that's good to be honest
that
by revealing our shortcomings we get over them
unless we liked them
but
what as we we actually feel a little bad about them that makes sense so thank you for that disclosure and noticed that that disclosure is featured in a vow of the ancestors
the they vowed to do what you just do ancient zen master vowed to practice what you just practiced
so you're in good company
charlie and jerry and ronna and daniel
we have to give our lives on
right now
hum your well
yes
we
wow okay all right now right now you're giving me your life k whether you want to or not
you're giving your life to me you're giving year this person has been given to me
right now
and i'm receiving you right now and you're you're giving me life right now right now but not right now right now right now not the same person knew every moment as a new charlie which is given to me and laurie
and john you're given to everybody every moment
if you don't feel ready to acknowledge that
i then asked the person who's given given to me is a person says i'm not quite ready to get into that right now
that's still the that to a gift to me as i often say that's my job security
his people tell me i can't do this meditation yet can do it later
yes and i i hope i live long enough to be there to support you
so you already doing this you are already giving your life away and you're not just giving it away you're giving it to others already and they are also already doing that for you they're giving their life to you but you may not be ready to open to that and acknowledge that and be aware of that
yeah
but that's where you are that's authentically who you are maybe and that's who you that's that's the person and we also support you and and give you the life of being somebody has not yet ready to be aware that we give your life
so what's the difference was that about
right now
while you're while you're if you had if if at point a you have not yet vowed to give your life and at point b you have can we have different person the second person is a new person who has evolved the previous person did not have
your different person
well you can check it out and see if you if that happens to you can see the difference you might feel very different but again the vault the vow is than then there's then after the vow there's also the realizing of up
you know so i wish i wish not i'm not only wish to give myself i wish to be aware that i'm giving myself
and then the difference between being aware that you're giving yourself and wishing to be aware here's another
i could say big difference or a little difference but anyway it's a different and it's a difference between delusion and enlightenment
the awareness and a steady awareness
the awareness is sort of on the path of enlightenment but
you keep falling off if you don't if you're not steady so that the best ways to be steadily aware that you're giving yourself that's the path of enlightenment if you're not aware you can still vow to be aware
and the vow is still very good but you're not quite there yet
the vow without the awareness is not quite on the path yet
and without the vow and with without the vow and the awareness we have most people that's when most people are at most humans and most non-humans that i know about are not in the path of wishing to be aware
or being aware
so then they're relatively
in trouble
but when you start to wish as soon as you wish that you would be aware you may already notice a big change
a big relief a big encouragement a big aspiration metaphoric the supreme aspiration of life
just enter fully into what life is and then by taking care of their aspiration you start to move into the actual awareness which you aspire to
the awareness of the process of reality
and the difference
you know you can tell me when you when you notice it
and different people tell me different stories about what it's like when i notice it
but
and the difference and i'm not saying the differences in important but the point is that when they get their their i never heard of anybody well they're they're happy
because it's starting to open to the truth
so the difference between their happiness in the way where before is that there's various calculations of that but the point is they're all happy
and
and in some ways are not so concerned with comparing their happiness to the way they used to be
that's not their main project or main project is to keep on the beam now
again and i like a baseball player the finally hits ball that's gonna go wow relevant procedures interesting that and not hitting it seems go back and check on not hitting a him they might not want to go back because they might want to hit the ball

ah
will you remember in the sense that when you meet somebody who doesn't know how to do something
you you remember that you used to not know how to do it and if it's helpful to them you you do go back and remember in other words you but you don't go back to remember just to go back to remember to they could compared to the way you are now you go back because it helps them sometimes you say i used before i was bruno was just like you i can say
here i was just like you had the exact same problem i haven't thought about it for several he owns but now that i'm talking to you i remember that i was just like you before i was a buddha
and then you might say to me are you just like those other people before before you were booted yeah we just like them to another ways everybody's problems i had before i was a buddha i might remember that right but before i meet the people and i see their problems and ice my say hey you you're you're just like the rest you're just like were awakened ones they
all had your problems so your problems aren't really a problem
they're part of the path and then if you can if you can take that view you've not just come to put yourself out the problem by that way of looking at that you're just like the ancestors
whatever your problems
and also the ancestors now are open to everybody's problems
whereas you didn't use to be like that
so the ancestors used to have your problems but now bit and now they have your current problems they used to have your problems but now they have the problem of you don't before they used to have problems like you have now they have the problem you do have but to have everybody else's problems and didn't use to have that problem
so that's part of what is a buys opening to everybody's problems
make sense it's kind of strange but i think that's how it works
jerry gets morning for quarter section
this morning on bart
i enjoyed it a really nice location for meditation or just enjoy watching people just and this is guy coming down the aisle
dirty can i have money for breakfast and instinctively i drew back he came to me i gave a five dollar bill
and
there was a strange it wasn't hard do
i've taken also that when i go grocery shopping and i'll get carrots and stuff to carry around me to give away
i would never been the past thought of doing that i would say oh gee i can't afford you know i felt stingy it's not hard to do it the other one's not hard to give things away it's easy
this was colored
so when i first started doing how are great i'm doing this i don't feel that i just do it
and what its and it's why just the way i should be it's just a way it should be there's a way i want to be so you want to be and are you happy doing it yeah
i'm already well
we already wealthy are you getting more wealthy knowledge you're giving stuff away
yeah i mean i may dislike i received so much and i am
i mean i'm i'm mad it will be part of the whole chain of people since giving because i'm getting stuff you might well be part of the whole change of chain of people giving right you might as well cause you're happy and then and also
if you if you're if you're if you give and you're happy than the happiness
a lead you to give more in the giving needs to get resources say have more to give
that's part of the theory of the more you give the more you get to give
i don't actually care about that i just want you just wanna be a giving person again you don't have to care about just to information for you
see and then around i think
he had foundries before
he had something else my mind but when i heard you i remember that
writing and somebody asked for money and i say i be bad
chance
i gave him a dollar he was so happy
thank you thank you i give another dollar
it was so amazing because i never felt that much happiness out of five dollars because it was like giving and taking he was giving me something
absolutely precious or with his happiness he made me happy you know with his energy and laughter didn't i remember that vividly because it was a very genuine experience of receiving after
when you said remembering that others
you know you you give your life i may receive their give their lives to you
pa
mind because if if i forget that
then i can i get
and i feel separate from others but as soon as i remember and i'm aware
others is perfect
it actually makes me
hello any
humbler and i don't know
yeah that's a good combination
a daniel
when you're talking about them
the receiving getting
when i think about a conceptually it seems almost impossible
what it seemed like it happens
when i think about it
in terms of while how to accomplish this
right yeah i feel like a joe was
someone else is talking about that the resistance you know to this
my life feels like when follow box you know the ones that are light and dark there's a strange haha like a half generosity assistance to haha
it just seems like sometimes it happens sometimes it doesn't
hats where it seems
yeah
that i think like people are retailers way seemed and
but actually it's always going on it just that sometimes we don't notice it
we can't feel it
we're not open to it but you don't have to make it happen
it's already going on
yeah
he goes on the demon's
you know it seems like a natural processes is that happens i tried it's not trump resistance comes up it's like that well even when the resistance comes up it goes on and just that when your resistance comes up we don't we tend not to notice it although it's not it's a pity as possible even while the resistance coming up to read
realize that the resistance isn't interfering with it at the resistance is also received and given
so like nancy told us about some resistance but that was kind of a gift and the ancestors have practiced giving the revelation of their resistance to the practice but that's a practice to
so it but the question of whether you're aware of it or not and if you're not aware of it you're missing out on this wonderful process which includes our resistance
but even know resistance we can't stop
we can just we just kind of clothes
but even though we close we still we still be perfected and still made to be a person where where we receive a person who is closed
i'm a this clause that's given this has given to me and i can give my resistance self
so if you resistant and stingy and you tell us about tenure than you're enacting that you're giving that if you don't reveal it than you're still stingy but you may not notice that you're giving us the revelation of your stinginess but you still do give us your stinginess your stinginess as a gift
generous people are giving his generosity is tangy people are giving a stinginess everybody's giving and everybody has received their personhood which is a stingy person or generous person saw the process is going on it's question of
waking up to it and vowing to wake up to it are bowing to be aware of it is is part of the deal because it's unusual to consistently be aware of this we get into whether it's happening or not or whether the way we are is really included in this or not like
can i be part of giving when i feel a stingy well yes
stingy people are gifts to
emptiness will use example of a stingy grandson is obviously a gift
darling stingy little guy you know
don
you you put your mouth on on my orange you know that story right
let's try it on
yeah
who knows a story about me putting my mouth and my grandson some orange
go here you know it only one person
two now
why do

ha
i'm not the same people as you know switzerland or germany or texas or whatever own
so i'm going to zoo with my grandson in my wife
and he's got he likes to take loss you know he likes to take snack like he likes to take what he calls a bag of lunch
likes he likes to make a bag of lunch when we go on various holding so he brings his bag of lunch and one of the things in his bag of lunch isn't naval orange and he's trying to appeal it and time some difficulties leslie would you like me to help and he says or case i peel the orange i get i get them i get the peel off
but has got that cop thing and the top of the naval orange were stuck together one and right
you can pull it from the other end a part where you can bite the year
he can bite the the naval off but you can also put your tongue in one end and spread the are spread it open without even give your fingers in that you can open to your tongue in a way without ripping it comes softer than your fingers so i was opening with my tongue and he totally freaked out
and started screaming at me and trying to hit me and there was a policeman your bio came over and cities or something wrong here
and
so then his that his grandmother comes over and says don't hit him
and then he's going to take the orange and throw it in a garbage says and she says if you throw the garbage you're not getting any more lunch and i can take you to the lunch you know to other snack areas
so then you know he's angry at me for through various animal kingdom's he's angry at
for a long time he's angry at me for putting my mouth on his orange
and then finally he starts to soften up without better night i feel as hello hand and are reaching up to my hand and then pretty soon he's riding around a man and stuff like that again and then were walking along and he says
so how you are high how you're practicing you would get fired
the
we've heard this story for him to bernard but you didn't say so that was a gift they get versa
yeah the line
so anyway this an example of somebody being upset with you but obviously it's a gift it's a great gift you know made a great story from to help many beings you know so we're always a gift
in other people are always gifts to us there's no way to avoid it but i vow to be aware of it i vowed to learn to be aware of how everybody is a gift to me every moment including they're screaming at me and the police are coming over to see if i'm abusing you or whatever you know
all that's included
and also
the self this this hate itself that i now have a duty to support of this little guy
it's now been given to him and he keeps hating me and i'm hated outcast grandfather and i keep giving myself to him and he keeps making me and i keep giving myself this is this is what i vow to be aware of to enter that it's going on anyway
you know
i'm i'm giving him his life he's given me my life it's going on anyway but i i can forget this i can get distracted i can feel offended etc residency or wait a minute but even if i'm offended to remember that that's given to me i get to be now at mr offended and i
now i give that to to all beings including those who are giving me
myself in the effect in offended formed by hating me where are firing me
so yeah it's it's going on the question of do you wish to join it this world which can almost seem like too much like you know
almost too much for people to and i wonder how people are giving you
your life and how you're giving them their like it's almost too much to open to sodium than you don't
but then
that's a gift do
and so on
he i jerry
i'm just gives me elena
avenger

i didn't want to

ah
shame which were made
dear
right
yeah so we saw in that case the
the awareness that's being recommended is when we feel conflicted or whatever that we realize that either realized that we want to make that a gift
we want to get i'm conflicted person i want to give myself
i don't want to be a conflicted person but i am a convicted person and this is the person i've got to give to you now
i don't want to be a sick person but now i'm sick person so i'm going to give a sick person
to make whatever i am a gift because and to be feel supported in that by some people teaching to me
who'd some people say no matter what you are you are a gift
doesn't mean you're good and any sense you might be feeling conflicted her angrier selfish or whatever like were saying but still that's a gift can make it a gift and the other way is to help to help you realize that whatever you are as a gift to help that remember that everybody gave the this this
conflicted person is been given to you've received this he didn't make yourself convicted person you've received this conflicted person this was a gift to that will help you realize oh it's already a gift so i'll give it away
and also if a good person happy person healthy person on conflicted person is not here that was also given and since it's a gift or give it away and if if it's a problem since as a gift i'll give it away if it's if it's happiness i'll give it away
that's what we're trying to learn here and then there's also the question of a kind of neat and kind of need to want to become the volume thirty into vow to be this way and then when you and then when you practice where you express that bow that wish
to be like this the wish to give you want
you want
to live for other she want your life to be for others you want to give your life to others there is that want where is it can be found it talking about finding that
on some level you are giving your life
at the deepest level you are giving your life part of you wants to get with that and so part of your wants to be that way
but another part of you
wants to give to give yourself only one yourself as something that everybody will probably like
so all the gifts you give don't mean people are going to like if you're sick doesn't mean people are going to like to you're sick
but you're still showing them the path of enlightenment even though they don't like that your second you've just given them a sick person
but you still shine them the way by doing this practice
and wanting to do it will help you when what you've got to give is not so easy to see is something people want
isn't that i want to give you my sickness he said i wanted
i want to give you the path of enlightenment which is the when i'm sick i give it to you
give you that person so you kind of the desire helps to continue the practice no matter what
rather than just when it's convenient
and there's a lot of there's a lot of no matter what's coming up right
not a big challenges jerry and then

universal acceptance
suspended

person
well excuse me we did this before it's not that you're not discriminating
it's such an account by your discriminations
so you're discriminating like this person wants five dollars this person was ten dollars this person's dirty is person's clean you're discriminating but you're not caught by it
okay
yeah
yeah it's okay because it's okay because you're not caught by the discrimination but your mind is tokens discriminating
and it wasn't he wouldn't be able to help all the people who smiles are discriminating
but if you are if you do have are discriminating mine and you can help the other people have discriminating mine get over there discriminating mind because you got over yours
because you do the same practice no matter what your mind discriminating
so that's that's non-discrimination with me you're not caught by the discrimination
but it's it's it's more penetrating if you actually have a discrimination not to be caught by rather than you just don't happen to be discriminating

so we don't we're not eliminating and anybody any discriminate years
network or were receiving the discriminate years and also were discriminate were giving the discriminator
regardless of what the discriminator is discriminating will try to learn that i want to learn that
because i know that there's concern there has been a there's gonna be some future discriminations which are going to be very difficult now to get caught on so i want to get ready for those ones
you know like the discrimination
between alzheimer's and not alzheimer's i don't want to get caught by that one
and if i can not get caught by that than i can help all the other people who have making that discrimination and there's a lot of them
so we're running into these big just heavy tempting the discrimination which are so tempting to cling to so let's start working now with whatever whatever kind we've got now can get ready for the really the really seductive ones that are coming in case you've gotta you've gotta this one you've got to
this when you can't like you know relax with this one
right exactly right
right right so
that's why we need the can be consistent and concentrated on this
so that when these big super-strong things come the practice will be able to continue
because it can be because and then we may be won't get stuck or even if we get stuck we can say okay that to give to and and we get answer
not because we really were stuck but because we talk and now we are practice with liberate us from that way of thinking about our life as stuck
can were practicing in the mud right no no nothing no nothing's eliminated it's the question how to be with everything
all the different kinds of problems and discriminations
but to be soft so we don't get stuck in it so we can move onto the next
the mud slinging
john
last week
talk about responsibility and and one of the definitions are very cave was the ability to respond
yes
go to bed much detail but i was just wondering what you're describing here is it's cultivating an ability to respond to the bow
desperately awareness is
his disability awareness of to respond
cultivating cultivating years cultivating responsibility cultivating our ability to respond
in his class we you know to some it's it it helps focus for me to present something
but a lot of classes is just worse just to demonstrate and cultivate responses responding to each other to notice
that were responding
and when that the beginning when i if i'm doing all the talking you may not notice that you're responding so you are but
so we're trying to cultivate responsibility
and openness both
any other feedback marianne

sacrificing

sacrifice
it's official sacrifice has the
what he caught it means to make sacred right
he hits the origins related to sacred to give something to make it sacred or to to promote sacredness and then the other thing you're talking about is giving up your true nature did you say
so
if you want to get if you want to give yourself
and then what can be too much
give up something that's true for your like what
my
last time they might want to do it
yes
the day where
asking me to come with that
yes
yeah
okay
another perspective that looks like
yes but you aren't you and you might feel conflicted about this but anyway this is related to elena series is you give you give them the mother who does not want to go with them who doesn't think it's right to go with them on some occasion to some place you give that to them
and you don't give that to them to with some expectation that they're going to life what you gave
you just give them who you are and then again in the next moment you give them who you are and they make you who you are they make you the mother that you are not not just them i do to everybody does makes you the mother who does not want to do certain things so then you give that to them
what they need most of all from you is you
they don't they don't need you to be a what they want you to be they don't need you to be not what they want you to be they need you to be who you are and you are
and if you give yourself just to give yourself
that doesn't distract them from who you are by you giving yourself in such a way is to get something
which is not realizing that you're giving two things in that case one is you're giving yourself and to you're giving yourself as a manipulator
you're giving yourself in such a way that they'll approve of you that they'll agree with you or that they'll think that you know a year
here's somebody they're not going to freak out about
they really need you to be who you are but they'd ended and you do not and that's and who you are what is what you do give to them and that's what does make them and create them and the other things are distractions are when it got distractions or on yeah
distracted when the process we're talking about entering
have them realizing what giving his
the that you're basically that's all you're doing is giving yourself to them
and all you're doing all your beings who they gave with they gave you to be

pardon
that that's a question that's a that's a question
that's the each moment is not so clear mean some moments it's not so clear some each moments is not so clear and some each moment you're not asking that question i don't think your as that question every moment
i think here are some other questions some moments like that's what i think may not be right but that's what i think
yeah
yeah
but when you have a question than they have a mother who has a question
and then you can give him that and you do give them that but you can distract yourself and them from that
you've got a question and you can pretend like you don't have a question so that's when you are
so you've got a mother who's pretending that she doesn't have a question after have got and you want to say it but you can actually say it
but didn't they kind of like whoa we're talking about you being a gift what's that about this is a strange way of talking mom
and i've seen you would say that just to you know it to climax them and distract them from this power trip there on
but they can be on a power trip and that's their gift to you and
i wanted the main one is that children make their mothers is by being on power trips with regard to her the person or on the biggest power trip with is called their mother or their primary caregiver is the one they're most concerned with overpowering
but they also do not want to overpower you because in the illusion so it's kinda confused that's their gift to you is little confused people
okay here here's some suffering he a confused little person and were on a par trip with you that means your mommy
now what are you gonna give us were not aware that we're giving you a gift we are however giving you your life but we can we not aware of this somebody told us we're doing this but we don't get it but we're doing it anyway
so they make you and you have a gift to give back to them
stand up for yourself as a gift
which means don't try to manipulate your kids just be generous and thankful that they made you into a mother

if you lose track of that then you lose track of something that you shouldn't lose track of namely
have you actually are in relationship to everybody
you're still that way but you just lose you lose track of it
now are you just going along with me now you look like you know how
virginia i'm talking about
worse
yeah definitely if we're not upright it's hard for us to
and when we are upright for you become aware that we are practicing giving
it's already there it just interested if if you're not avoiding it
you opened to it and it revealed to you
and also that you're receiving will will be revealed to you because our it's going on to question of veering away from it by leaning one way or another or stiffing up
so being soft and operator are the key things keep postural things
the help us open to this process
kind of quiet but but our norberto his hand raised yes

so
yes that's a good way to put i like that when that's what i put it

right
he leaned into your miss it
can you can lean away from me you'll miss it
the problem
the some people are so skilful that you know there's so much into it that they can clean away and still not lose it but
basically you want to be just present and it's there
you don't go any place to get it and you can't get away from it
in being appraised kind of like accepting that okay i'm here blade on reveal yourself
roderick
i sunday
you can and to give me
have a conundrum to give to me
yes
and it's called generalize about his back persuades a
and it may be a story but it's an interesting stories got me hooked when i was so young i learned so consciously to react from one of my like my mother and father both of them for me my mother
by it order to connect people i'd come down to that ten voice
so do
it always killed me
and down
this gets in the way of me being abused people because if i'm doing this it's like meaning into
but i didn't know how to get ah and my identity is based often on this yes it's becoming another person in a useful way yes
is there any kind of practice
the go allow me to see this because it's subconscious is not based on behavior while the first thing that comes to my mind since it's nine sixteen is if you'd be upright with a sense of not being in touch with your connection with the person
because you're tempted to do something to lean little bit to realize connection
it's a conscious selling his subconscious fine
if you've if you feel a draw you don't know from where but maybe it's from a subconscious wish to come to realize you're connected
you do want to realize you're connected and it might very well be subconscious
and you can maybe noticed that you're trying to get something in that way by the by you've been drawn into a lean
no
well they are you take me to go right now no i mean know what i say no did you not feel a draw to win i didn't feel anything it's i had to find out
here to find out what through other people that you are leaning yes anna davis said what i've been doing is calling another person who comes into the place where this is good and recognizes what's going on and asked them to tell you that i mean basically a point
yeah out
but the reason i call them is not the is not conscious i call them about something else i see so it's all unconscious how canvas lose take me for those so so the technique is just to call quite frequently
even i don't know what you're calling about
i managed to do on occasion
to call to yeah to to bring somebody else in yeah even though you don't know what you're bringing the men about it until after they come minutes about something else yeah but you just call anyway
it seems yeah i think it's important to call so i ask you for feedback i don't know what i'm asking for feedback about but i ask for feedback
such a good practice just call people in even though you don't know what it is draconian them to help you with
do that practice even though and even do it when you don't even know if you don't need to do it
and it was maybe unconscious for what you need help with
just as a practice keep inviting people in to give you feedback and then because it in an even though you don't know what it is that you want them to give you feedback that
do that practice
in white people to give you gifts please give me your feedback please ask me questions please you know hat
welcome it if you don't even if they give it to you you may not be welcoming and doesn't work very well
okay
thank you very much