Chant the refuges when bowing, it's called... It's called the Taking Refuge, Three Bows verse. And it's the verse we do when we do a Bodhisattva ceremony, the Rakyasat ceremony. So would you look at that? And some of you already know it by heart, but would you memorize it, please, so we can try this way of taking refuge with the bow? Excuse me. I'll pass these around. Some of you have already heard of the description of Zen practice as having two aspects. One aspect being you and the other aspect being everybody else.

[01:12]

And then there's another description of Zen practice having two other aspects, two other kind of aspects, one being what's called in Japanese Sanchi Monpo, and that's going to the teacher and asking about or listening to the character. Mon can be asking or listening. to Dharma, going to the teacher and listening to the teaching. And the other aspect is called shikantaza, which means just sitting. Sometimes when these are introduced, they introduce Sanchi Monpo first and then Shikantaza. So that would be understood as you go to the teacher and you listen to the instructions about practice of Zen.

[02:30]

And then you sit and you take these teachings into yourself. and integrate them with your own thinking and finally integrate them with your existential state. But another part of Zen is that if one feels that one has integrated the Dharma teachings with your being, then you also go to the teacher and show your, you know, present your integrated state and listen to the teacher like, you know, oh, this is the integrated state, huh?

[03:37]

Or whatever, you know. Or congratulations, you can now leave this silly monastery. Or whatever, you know. That's really kind of a circle. And in a sense, so part of it is you hear the instruction about meditation and you go see the teacher and you say how you understand the teaching of meditation and maybe the teacher gives you more instruction and you go back and try it and you come back and say what you understand the teaching is and teach you more instructions. So maybe it takes several cycles before you actually hear the teaching and know how to put it into practice. Several means, you know, sometimes many, many, many visits to actually like really hear the teaching clearly and then start bringing it into yourself. So is that kind of clear?

[04:38]

And there's a kind of a classical presentation of this process which I think might be helpful to you. By the way, when I say, you know, I don't know what I said, but when I say zazen, I mean zazen of the Buddhas and ancestors, right? I don't mean zazen of, you know, whoever, right? So zazen, there's many kinds of zazen. It just means sitting zen, actually. So somebody who's like sitting in jhana practice, sitting jhana. So the Buddha actually practiced sitting jhana before he was Buddha, when he was training.

[05:42]

He practiced sitting jhana. But after he was Buddha, although he still could enter jhana states at will, like going to the grocery store, his practice was not sitting in jhana anymore. It was the sitting practice of being who he was, of being a Buddha. And as I said, jhana practice is a concentration practice where you're, when you're successful, you suppress mental function. So in the first jhana, I didn't mean to get off on this, in the first jhana, in the first jhana you suppress what's called, it's just a little Sanskrit way of vittarka, Vitarka and vichara. These are words, Sanskrit words, for basically your intellectual function.

[06:45]

Vitarka means that you apply your mind to an object, like a word, and you clearly see that word. And then vichara is basically discursive thinking. These two mental functions are necessary for speech and to understand language, ordinaryness. And those are suppressed in the practice of attainment. When you attain the first level of dhyana, those are suppressed. You actually use those intellectual functions to zero yourself in on the meditation object, and they're so absorbed in the focusing on the meditation object that they can't, aren't available for any other kind of work, so you can't talk to understand, because the equipment you use to talk has been applied to this concentration practice. But I didn't mean to get into that, just to sort of, I just want to say that the...

[07:47]

Just to mention that when I say zazen, I mean zazen, usually I mean zazen of Buddha ancestors. And that's not the zazen of just trying to get yourself into a concentrated state. In question and answer, people might want to ask questions about concentration practices. What I meant to write down here was These three levels of understanding, I'll write the Sanskrit, just in case you ever read it. I don't know if that's what it is. Pitta, citta, and bhavana. Bhavana, maya, prajna. srutamaya prajna, chantamaya prajna, bhavanamaya prajna.

[08:54]

These are three levels of insight. Or you might say, three levels of thinking. Part of what I'm working on is trying to deal with this... Can you see it? is to deal with this business about thinking. So, when you go, when you hear a teaching or read a teaching and you actually, like, and you feel, maybe, like, oh, you know, you feel like you didn't get it and suddenly you feel like, oh, I get it. In a sense, that's a kind of, you feel like you're experiencing this, uh, This bhavana maya prajna. But another way to understand it is not just that you feel that way, but then you check it out and then you get confirmation.

[10:05]

And you're checking it out. In other words, the text or the teacher say, yeah, that's right. And then again you feel like, oh, that's right. In other words, your thinking is in line with what you heard. or what you read. You feel it, and also you maybe get confirmation from the text or from the teacher. Shruti means to hear. So it's wisdom. So senta is the confirmation one? No. Confirmation at all three levels. Confirmation or feeling of verification can happen at all three levels of prajna. First level is sense of verification of the level of hearing and reading and thinking about the teachings. Part of what we're doing here is we're working together to develop a correct understanding of what, in some sense, is the dharma of linear dependent co-arising and karmic causation.

[11:25]

which is coming, you know, this is being delivered and discussed here in this class and in interviews and in your small groups too. Because you hear things in a linear way, first of all. And then you understand those things. And this is the beginning. It's intellectual. And I'm saying to you, yeah, please think about dependent core rising. Because I'm suggesting that the zazen of the Buddha ancestors is the sitting meditation, but it means actually meditating in any posture, It's the meditation on the pentacle rising.

[12:29]

That's the Zazen Buddha ancestors. In learning about the Zazen Buddha ancestors, the first level of learning about it is you hear about how one would think about the pentacle rising. So you're developing some understanding through words and letters and through your ordinary linear thinking of what this might be like. The Buddha's thinking about the pentacle horizon. And the next level, citta means, it's related to the word citta, citta which means consciousness, and citta means reflecting or thinking about. So this is like you take your correct thinking, your correct understanding of the teaching, and you reflect on it.

[13:41]

Somebody said to me that hearing me talk about this material is like getting zazen instruction from ten people, or more. So what you do is, partly you hear me give you instruction in this, and you see the different ways I do it, and then you try. You try to give yourself instruction in 10, 20, 100 ways. Basically, eventually, you give yourself, as an instruction, you give yourself instruction of how to meditate on the processes of your experience, You give yourself instruction on how to meditate on the process of your experience. You give yourself instructions about how to do that in all the different kinds of experiences that you're having. So your experiences, you're studying them from the point of view of being able to understand how they're happening.

[14:51]

But each one is different, so how you apply the teaching will be different to all these different Well, I wouldn't say exactly that how you apply the teaching would be different, but in a sense, because in a sense it's the same all the time, the way you apply the teaching. But you can hardly believe it, given the phenomena that are coming up right now. For example, this phenomena may be, this teaching, which I'm supposed to apply, and also the way of applying it, seems like just more of the same junk. Matter of fact, it seems like that if I apply the teaching now, it's just going to make things more of a mess and make me more excited and upset. So then when you think that way, when that's the phenomenon you're dealing with, like this is stupid, when that's the phenomenon you're dealing with, you might think that this is stupid is not just a thought, but it's true about the meditation. So then you don't think, oh well, while I'm calling the meditation stupid and the way I'm practicing is stupid, I should be meditating on me talking like that.

[15:57]

Some kinds of presentations, some kinds of emergencies that happen in your mind throw you off. Matter of fact, sometimes you think the emergency is the practice, rather than the emergency is the next opportunity to see, can you remember the practice even when this happens? Or another way, these are resistances. One resistance is, I don't know what the practice is. That's one resistance. Another resistance is, I think I know what it is, but either the way I'm applying it's making things worse, or it's actually a bad practice. These are examples of resistance, okay? But the resistance to the practice... But they're also not really exactly resistances to the practice. They seem like resistances to the practice. Given what I just said about the practice, that either it's stupid or I'm no good or I don't understand it, these various kinds of things, these are not the practice.

[17:06]

They're not really resistances either. They're just phenomena which look like you probably shouldn't be dealing with this. So resistance, in some sense, are the things that happen that you think, well, this is not a great opportunity, or this is too good an opportunity. Are you following this? But actually, all these things I just popped out there are just more phenomena for you to study the same way you study things like this is the practice, makes perfect sense, and I'm perfectly happy with it, and the practice is happening, and I'm totally relaxed and happy, and this is what my life's about. That's phenomena too. But that one you think, well, yeah, this all makes sense. But that's not the practice either. That's just more emergence, and that can throw you off also. Maybe you can say, okay, I'm a success, I'll quit. Whatever the thinking is, It's not the contents of the thinking that's the practice. The practice is the same, in a way, to all these different kinds of things.

[18:11]

The practice is what you're understanding now, right? You're getting instruction on the correct understanding of the practice. The practice is being upright with whatever's happening, including your intellectual understanding of the practice. Your intellectual understanding of the practice is not the practice. That's just another thing you practice with. But you have to have an intellectual understanding of the practice in order to let the practice happen. Otherwise, you're going to think that your intellectual understanding is the practice, or your intellectual lack of understanding is the practice, or you hated the practice is really the way the practice is, and so on. So I'm giving you instruction about not exactly what to think, but how to think. And how do you think? In the training phase, you think non-thinking.

[19:12]

Now, if you were Yaoshan and somebody says, what kind of thinking is going on there? Then you would say, I'm thinking of unthinkableness. This is the state you can realize. In other words, I'm thinking in a way that nobody can think. my actual thinking state is supreme reality. That's the kind of thinking that's going on here. In the meantime, you train yourself into the realization of ultimate meaning of life through non-thinking. And I call non-thinking being upright. Because non-thinking, some people think that sounds like you're not thinking. But we just said thinking of not thinking, or thinking of unthinkability. It's not that. Non-thinking is is the way you think. The way you think, not what you think. And the way you think is that you never get fooled by your thinking.

[20:17]

Or, I shouldn't say never, but you're training, when you realize non-thinking, you're not fooled by your thinking anymore. That's non-thinking. Non-thinking is actually thinking, what do you call it, totally exerted thinking. Can you open some other windows too? And totally exerted thinking is really not our habit. So, see right now I'm talking to you on the first level of prajna, which some of you are getting. you feel like you're getting. Some of you may feel like you're not getting. And those who feel like you are getting, you might come and talk to me, and we might talk, and you might say, oh yeah, I got it right. And some of you come and talk to me about it, and they say, blah, blah, blah. No, that's not it. And then you say, oh, what is it?

[21:18]

And then you say, oh, that's it. And then you go try it, and you come back talking, and you do get it. So like I was talking to someone today, and the person didn't get it. They really were thinking that the The non-thinking I was teaching you was just more thinking on top of the thinking you're already doing. I'm not telling you to do more thinking or less thinking. You tell yourself that, though, probably, which is more thinking. To tell yourself to think more is more thinking. To tell yourself to think less is more thinking. You're making things more complicated. But people do that, and it's a free country, you can do that. I'm not trying to stop you from making things more complicated when you hear this instruction. I know that's part of understanding it, is you're going to make things more of a mess, some of you, for a while. But I'm not telling you to make it more of a mess or less of a mess. I'm not telling you to tidy your mind up or make it more complicated. I'm not telling you to make it harder or easier. I'm saying be upright in the middle of your thinking.

[22:19]

But when you hear that, you might think, well, now he's telling me to be upright in the middle of it, on top of all the stuff I'm already thinking. No, I'm not. So again, right now I'm talking to you on the level, I'm talking to you, you're hearing me, so this shrutamaya level, this hearing level of wisdom is like being activated. You're understanding me or not, anyway, you're working at this level. But I'm talking about now how to meditate on all three levels. On the next level, you take this non-thinking and you apply it not just to the instructions about how to practice non-thinking, you take this instruction on being upright and you apply it not just to check out whether you understand what being upright is, but you apply it to everything that happens. Everything that happens for your experience. And this kind of practice that I'm talking about is, when you accomplish it, it is the gate, or this is the channel, this is the gate to, or the channel in which you receive, whichever way you want to put it, this attainment.

[23:50]

of the ultimate meaning, the attainment of ultimate reality comes to us in this channel of effort that I've just been describing. The channel of non-thinking, the channel of being upright. Channel B-U-R, channel B-U-R-X. turn that on, and that's where the attainment of what you cannot think about is realized. Now, I'm still in the school of that this mind of Buddha cannot be an object of thought. It can't be something that you have a sensory experience of. But you can attain it, or it can be attained the attainment comes. And the attainment level of prajna is the bhavana-mayi prajna, because bhavana means existence, and bhavana means bringing into existence.

[25:05]

So the third level of prajna is where the... You could say the prajna brings ultimate reality into existence, or you can say, which I think... I kind of would prefer to say it that way a little bit, although I don't want to be heavy about it, is that the ultimate meaning is brought into existence through the prajna, or as prajna. In other words, for us, when ultimate reality is brought into existence in our life, it is bodhi. That's what bodhi is, is when ultimate existence is like the way we are. And so you hear the instructions, you understand the instructions, and then you reflect on it. You hear the instructions, you understand them. That's the first level of prajna, the first level of bodhi, of wisdom. It's not really bodhi and maybe that level, but anyway, it's wisdom.

[26:08]

It is wisdom. It is a correct discernment of the instructions. Then you reflect on it with everything that's happening, everything that's happening, everything that's happening. When that becomes full, you're completely like, the channel's completely open, and occasional or sustained bodhi comes to that channel. So, one way to look at this, partly as faith, you faithfully sit in this receptive mode. Now, receptive mode, you're not necessarily trying to be receptive, but in fact you are receptive to ultimate reality because you're non-thinking. And non-thinking is this upright attitude where no matter what happens, you always are wondering what is happening.

[27:10]

You never slip into well, I've just had enough of this. Or, this cannot be studied. This is not like something to study. This is something to stop. Or, this is not something to study. This is something to, like, you know, hold on to. I mean, this is really good. I mean, forget this study crap. I'm holding to this. This is like, I don't care about Buddhism anymore, actually. This is so wonderful, or you're so wonderful, or whatever. Or you're just so wrong, that I'm not going to wonder how it happened that I think you're wrong. Study is not necessary right now. This is reality. That's not faith, that way of talk. That way of talk is you keep being, you know, in alignment with the teaching.

[28:17]

And the Chinese word for faith is interesting, I think. It's the character here, persons and word. And the persons wind up with the word. So the instructions which you received You faithfully practice. You line yourself up with the instructions you trust. Before you understand the instructions, you faithfully practice. Once you understand them, then you do the practice, the simple practice, which is hard, because to do the simple practice, you have to put aside everything. All the stuff that happens, in a sense, you put it aside. Not that you push it away, It's just that you put it aside in the sense that this is happening but I'm going to study it. This is happening and I'm going to study it. This diamond's appearing and I'm not going to grab it, I'm going to study it. This piece of garbage is appearing, I'm not going to throw it away, I'm going to study it.

[29:21]

So first of all you faithfully try to understand the teaching. When you understand you faithfully practice it. Faithfully practicing the teaching that you've done your job. That's all you can do. And this is not ordinary doing, of course, because you do the same thing all the time. And you really don't do anything, you just pay attention to what's happening, and you find this place of no resistance. Which means that when the things that are ordinarily called resistance appears, you don't identify with them. You just study the resistance too. The resistances are opportunities for your faith. What used to be resistances, which you would then put energy into manipulating, you now just study.

[30:25]

So if the teaching that you're hearing is the teaching of non-thinking... and you faithfully understood that, then the continued faith would be to put the teaching of non-thinking, the teaching of being upright, into practice with whatever happens. So you get up in the morning, you feel tired. The practice is not to go back to bed. The practice is also not to go to the zendo. The practice is, what kind of tiredness is it now? How did this happen? Did I... Did I exercise too much yesterday? Did I eat too much? Did I not have enough sleep? But it's not even that. That's more thinking. I take that back. That's not the meditation. The meditation is just being upright and being in awe of the sleepiness. And then being in awe of the mind which tries to figure out, well, what should I do about it? And what's it from? That's thinking. Okay?

[31:26]

Okay? That's a creative response, actually, to this sleepiness. You get up in the morning, a creative response is, well, what should I do? Should I be a Zen student today or should I go to sleep? Or maybe being asleep is a Zen student. This kind of stuff occurs in the minds of some people in the early morning. Maybe I'm really, really, really, really sick. And should I write a note and give it to my roommate to take to the Eno? What should I do? This is thinking. Okay. The practice is being upright and still and awake in the midst of this chatter, this thinking. This is non-thinking, in the middle of the thinking. And non-thinking doesn't puff the thinking up or squash it down. Non-thinking lets the thinking be completely what it is at the moment. And when non-thinking allows whatever thinking is happening to be completely itself,

[32:27]

then the practice that, you know, the faith practice, the practice of faith has been done. And it is also, although it's a faith practice, it is the faithful practice of chintamaya prajna. It is the faithful practice of the two levels of prajna. This isn't karma. We can't really do it. But But it can be practiced. Being upright can be practiced. When it's really done, you don't do it. When you are really practicing being upright, you don't do it. Are enough windows open? Is it cool enough? Enough air? Yes? How many people say no?

[33:29]

No? Would the people who say no please stand up? Because that will help you, I think. So, and this work that I just described sometimes is called the carved dragon. The Shruti and Chintamaya Prajna, the practice of non-thinking, sometimes called the carved dragon. It's a dragon that in a sense we can carve. Carve? Carve, like carve a dragon. Yeah, as opposed to the real dragon. that we can't carve. You people can carve a dragon, right? And when you're done, you can see it. The real dragon, however, nobody here can make, right?

[34:31]

You can hardly see it. Actually, you can't see the real dragon. So somebody drew this picture of the fourth ancestor of Zen, Dai Doshin. Doshin, by the way, means... The path of faith. But path also sometimes means saying of faith. Anyway, she drew this picture and I was talking to her about drawing this picture as an example of the practice. So you draw the picture, right? You paint the picture. So maybe you have some understanding of what Dai Daoshin looks like. And maybe you talk to a teacher, you say, yeah, that's what Daoshin looks like, that's right, you got it. And you go, oh, I got the image now. So you're interested to draw the picture, and you've got the understanding of how to draw the picture, so then you start drawing the picture.

[35:32]

Drawing the picture is the Chintamaya impression. I mean, that's the arena of Chintamaya impression. The... That being upright or the non-thinking is not the drawing of the picture or not the not drawing of the picture. It's not the like getting the paper and the colors and so on and your body to the situation and then making these marks. That's not the non-thinking. That's not the practice. And throwing the paper down and walking off is not the practice either. That's just more thinking. All right? Thinking, in other words, karma. Thinking which then gets translated into physical action and maybe a few songs while you're doing this. The practice is that while you're doing the painting, you're not moving. You're just upright and aware in the middle of the painting.

[36:33]

So somebody's doing the painting and somebody's saying, this is not a very good painting. Oh, now it's getting better. Oh, it got worse. Oh, it's great. chatter, chatter, chatter is going on while we're doing the painting. Okay? That's more, that's just thinking. That's fine. That's normal stuff in the Zen garden. The practice is somebody's sitting there and does not care whether this is a good picture or not. Does not care who's doing it. And notices that there is the phenomenon of the thought that somebody is doing it. It's aware that there is the kind of idea or the image or the illusion that there's a subjective focus in this painting process. But the practice is not that subjective focus. The practice is to be upright in the middle of that there maybe is a subjective focus called the painter. And maybe there isn't. It's aware of that too. Oh, the subjective focus went away.

[37:35]

A lot of times when the subjective focus goes away, then somebody thinks, oh, that's really great. That's not the practice either. The practice does notice that the subjective focus went away. Somebody is very happy about that. Somebody actually thinks this is enlightenment. Because it is a relief when the subjective focus goes away. It's a relief, but it's not bodhi. Bodhi is to see the subjective focus went away, and that's it. Excuse me, bodhi is not even quite that. That's being upright. to see that that went away. Being upright in that way is the door to bodhi, which is when that way, not the way of the self being gone, or the way of the self being there, not the thinking, oh, this is a good picture, a bad picture, happening, or have that not happening. That's not it. But being upright and unprejudiced in the middle of whatever's happening, that's the gate to bringing that unprejudiced way in the middle of what's happening into being that it becomes the way you are and unprejudiced means you don't even it means the situation is before being judged which means it's a situation is before being thought which means it is a situation before being made into things

[38:59]

You enter the realm prior to any imputation. You enter the realm prior to breaking up the world as it really is into graspable entities that you can think about. You enter into the realm when nobody can think of anything. Where there isn't the possibility of thinking. Because that's the way things really are. In other words, you realize Bodhi. But and this is the kind of religious part and connects in with the ceremony part, this is a gift, this entry. You can't get yourself into ultimate reality. You can't bring it into existence by your personal power. Personal power can, for the individual, block the realization because personal power, when it gets too strong, will block being upright and will block your faith. When your faith is blocked, the channel through which bodhi arrives in your life gets blocked.

[40:07]

When you open the channel, bodhi can be given to you. In other words, bodhi given to you means that the way things are actually becomes existent as you or you as you exist realize bodhi, realize the world prior to thinking. So, this is the way of using thinking to free us from thinking, to enter the realm prior to thinking. This is the way of using the world that our mind breaks up into little packages, using that world as our study object. And that faithful study makes us available for the grace of the world before we were messing around. But we don't have to stop messing around. As a matter of fact, that's not healthy to try. Of course, it is recommended that in that realm, you mess around in a wholesome way. So in that realm, it's recommended that you practice good, avoid evil, and purify your mind.

[41:17]

But purify your mind actually means being upright. Early teachings Avoid evil, practice good, and purify your mind. Purify your mind means purify the attitude with which you watch the karma of wholesome and unwholesome action. Purify your mind means don't get into trying to improve yourself or manipulate. Just study. Have a very pure attitude with which you observe your karma. Have a very pure attitude, an unprejudiced attitude while you try to practice good and avoid evil. which, of course, practically speaking means have a pure attitude while you fail to practice good and succeed at practicing evil. You're purifying your attitude and your meditation can be done even before, or not completely achieved, but you can work on that even before you're able to avoid evil and practice good.

[42:20]

But succeeding at avoiding evil somewhat and succeeding at practicing good will aid you in purifying your attitude with which you watch yourself do that. But the pure attitude is not more of that karma. That exhausts the karma. It isn't that you do three kinds of karma. Doing good, avoiding evil, and another kind of karma called purifying your mind. You practice non-thinking while you're watching the karma. To practice non-thinking while you're observing karma is to be faithful to Buddha's teaching, which is study karma. Be attentive to whatever kind of karma is going on. The Buddha also taught do good karma, avoid evil karma, but this teaching of meditation, of developing prajna, also means while you're doing whatever kind of good or bad you're doing, develop wisdom. So the Buddha did teach do karma, do good karma, avoid evil karma, but the Buddha also taught be unprejudiced, study unprejudicedly as you're trying to follow that instruction.

[43:37]

As you're struggling to find what is wholesome action, what is avoiding evil action, in that struggle, don't forget to practice non-thinking. Faithfully following all these practices, you're available for a gift. So, the gift of bodhi comes through the channel of faithful practice, of wholesome and unwholesome, of wholesome karma, in other words, giving and so on, and wisdom, trained thinking, which means this uprightness in the middle of your thinking. So this drawing, use this drawing example again. You try to do a good drawing. You try to do a skillful drawing. You try to do a drawing which everyone will appreciate and you'll like. Now, everyone appreciate might mean that the drawing will be very shocking because you feel like that's really a good message to people, like to wake them up or something.

[44:39]

Like to show them, you know, something that they're overlooking. But anyway, your intention is wholesome and skillful. And somebody thinks he's doing the painting. But there's an upright one who's not busy, who's just watching all this activity. Watching, watching, watching. That's the core part of the practice of non-thinking. So in the Pukan Zazengi it says all these things to do. Cross your legs, don't eat too much or sleep too much, blah, blah, blah. All those things are the wholesome things. Does that make sense? But the core of it, the wisdom part of it, is in the middle of all these wholesome activities, not leaning to the right, not leaning to the left, not forward, backwards, keep your eyes open, tongue on the roof of your mouth, don't eat or drink too much, never close your eyes, all that stuff, those are wholesome things. Wholesome karma, doing good. But in the middle of that, think, non-think, practice non-thinking. Now, if you already realized bodhi, then you would already be thinking of the unthinkable.

[45:43]

But prior to realizing piety, you practice non-thinking in the middle of all this wholesome activity. So in doing the painting, you do the painting, [...] and pretty soon the painting starts to take shape or whatever. Or maybe it doesn't. But anyway, you're painting. I'm painting, I'm painting. You're watching. Somebody thinks they're painting this. Somebody thinks they're painting this. Somebody thinks they're painting this. Somebody's miserable. Somebody's anxious. Somebody's afraid it's not going to be a good painting. Somebody's proud that it is a good painting and feels ashamed that they're proud. In other words, you are. Somebody's doing this painting and they're anxious. Anxious person is doing this painting. Anxious person is doing this painting. Watching, watching, watching. Anxious person doing the painting. Anxious person doing the painting. And being totally absorbed and aware of this world of a person doing the painting. A break.

[46:48]

When there's some painting going on and the person's forgotten for a moment. It might happen. But there might not be a break. It might switch right from person doing the painting to painting. Painting. You say, well, isn't that a forgetting the person? Well, again, you can put a pause in there, like it goes from person doing the painting to person forgotten and then painting, or you can say person doing the painting and then just painting. You say, well, there's a gap there. There might be a gap where there's not a person there, there's just a painting, and then there's the person. But it might be simultaneously like just the perspective changes from person doing the painting to painting doing the person. Person doing the painting is delusion, painting doing the person is enlightenment, is bodhi. Happens at the same, right in the middle of the same activity, right on the pivots on the person who is imagined as the pivot of the painting.

[47:52]

We call the person, in some sense we call the person who does the painting, the author, the maker of the painting, right? The author of the literature. The one who makes it. We think that's the pivot of it. We think the person makes the painting rather than the paint company making the painting or the canvas company making the painting or the uncle of the person making the painting or the patron of the person or the son, you know? We agree to put the pivot on the person, right? There is a person, but the person is not necessarily the pivot of the painting, but we do that. The person does that. Pivot switches. It turns on the pivot and suddenly the painting makes the person. So Bodhi happens right there. So you're doing the painting, that's good, but the practice, the faithful practice is you're sitting there watching this. Your primary commitment is to watch the causation of the painting, to watch...

[48:55]

the karma of the person doing the painting. Karma of person, you're watching, you're studying the karmic cause and effect of the person doing the painting. That's your primary commitment, is to study. That faith creates this opportunity for everything to turn around. And then there's bodhi. So sitting in the zendo, it isn't that I'm telling you, think about the pen and crow arising. even though I say that. What I mean is, you be upright in the middle of whatever you can see of dependent core arising. Like, I'm sitting zazen. I'm hearing the rain. The rain is falling. People are moving around the zendo. Now it's lunchtime. This is karma. I'm thinking, now it's lunchtime. It's not just now it's lunchtime. Now I think it's lunchtime. Maybe it's not lunchtime. Who knows? Maybe you just think, it's lunchtime.

[49:57]

In fact, when you think it's lunchtime, you do think it's lunchtime. At that moment, that's your thought. That's not the practice. It's not the practice to go around. It's lunchtime, it's lunchtime, it's lunchtime. That's not the practice of non-thinking. That's not the practice of being upright. That's not the faith in this teaching. The faith in this teaching is somebody saying it's lunchtime and I call that me. And I actually think I'm thinking that. To tell you the truth, if you asked me who's doing it, I would say me. But sometimes you might say, I'm not sure who's doing it. That's fine too. Anyway, what kind of thinking are you doing? You're always doing that. That means you're faithfully following this teaching. And in that faith dimension, things can turn from delusion to bodhi. And this is all without moving a particle of dust, right? We can switch from the unfulfilled self-awareness.

[51:01]

Unfulfilled self is, I'm doing this and I'm not doing that. That's unfulfilled self. It can switch from there to this realm, this inconceivable realm of cooperation between all beings. It can switch without moving a particle of dust. Because you're always doing the same practice. and the gift comes. But when the gift comes, although it's a radically different world, nothing got changed. Nothing changed. And everything changed. No dust particles got moved, but the perspective had changed entirely. So it's like, you know, this is one painting, and then there's this other painting which just happens to be in the back. So it switches from doing the painting of somebody else to whoever this is. Okay, so that's enough, I think, for me.

[52:08]

Sorry it took so long, but I think it looks like, at least on tape, you've got it. Some of you, I know it's hot in here and some of you fell asleep, but if you listen to the tape, I think it's pretty clear there. So if you faithfully align yourself with the tape, you'll probably understand this teaching and then see if you can practice it. Do you have any questions about how to practice it? Jeanette and Green and Nick and Beverly and Allison and Linnea and Matt. Yes. So you have a feeling like you're stepping backward when you... In the awareness of there's an I who's doing the practice, there's an awareness of I'm doing the practice, and when that awareness arises...

[53:14]

you have another feeling like there's a stepping backwards. Okay? That feeling of stepping backward, does anybody do that? Huh? Well, I don't know. You check it. That feeling of stepping backwards is another thinking. Okay? Okay? That's another example of thinking. So that's tricky. So you have to think, okay, I'm watching now. I'm doing this, I'm doing that. I'm feeling this way or that way about it. This is what you're observing. And you're just being unprejudiced about that. And then you have a feeling like, I feel, or there's a feeling that the perspective has changed on the whole situation. That's another kind of thinking. But when that kind of thinking happens, people often think that that's the practice. That that's like an insight. Well, that's just another kind of thinking. The real kind of thinking, the real kind of insights cannot be out there as an object of sensation. Yes? No. No. But when you think, I have to step forward, then in fact that's another kind of thinking, which would quite naturally follow.

[54:25]

But some other people say, oh no, I've heard that you're supposed to step back and watch it from a distance. And then they think, oh, this is right, this is the right thing. But there's no characteristic of this position. I said it was unprejudiced, but, you know, throw that out too. These are just words to give a hint of what it would be like to be unprejudiced. But being unprejudiced means you don't have a particular way of non-thinking. So non-thinking is the way you can just somehow not get thrown off from study, that you can move with the changing situations, or that the practice can move with the changing situations without getting thrown off. Rain. I've been thinking about what you've been talking about, trans versus mindfulness. Yes. I just noticed for myself lately when I take the just steady practice, my practice, it seems like I'm more likely to be lost in thought compared to if I say I'm just mindful of my breath.

[55:29]

It's a little bit like what Gary was talking about yesterday, whenever I do something, Okay, I got it. So you're saying that if you're mindful of your breath, you feel like you're a little bit less likely to get lost in thought. Right, and the reason is I think that when I change myself, I'm going to stay and have this awful opposition of I'm not going to get lost in thought. So that seems to set up some sort of tendency to think more. If you feel that it's helpful for you to follow your breath, either as a mindfulness practice or as a concentration practice, and that when you do that you're better able to just be upright in the face of thought, That's fine.

[56:32]

Okay? And then I would say to you that at some point you probably get to a place where the thought, I'm lost in thought, would be one that you could handle. Because you've got to be able to handle that thought eventually. You know? I'm like in downtown jungle thought land here. And that's okay. I can wake up here too. But if you don't want to deal with that right now because you feel like it's unwholesome for you, then it's fine. No problem following your breathing. And there's even no follow-up. There's also no problem in following your breathing and doing concentration practice. That's okay. Just don't confuse that with Buddha's meditation. And when you list the qualities of a Buddha, it doesn't say the Buddha is always in some concentration state. The Buddha is always concentrated, but he's not always practicing his jhanas. Buddha can practice his jhanas. Buddha can practice jhanas.

[57:33]

The Shakyamuni Buddha could practice jhanas. He could go into the jhanas like that and then go up the ladder like that. He could do that. He knew how to do that. But it's like he was a great dancer, you know. He could immediately do a dance. But his practice was not to do those dances, those jhanas. His practice was bodhi in all those states. But he did do those. And he did sometimes instruct his students to do the jhana practices. And they asked him, how come we should do them? And he wouldn't tell them why because he didn't want to tell them it was Buddhism. I think he also didn't want to tell them because you're not ready to practice Buddhism. So just calm down. Shut up. You know, I went to this little reunion of Suzuki Roshi disciples and one of the students said he was having tea with Suzuki Roshi one time at Sokoji and he was drinking tea and he took the cup, teacup, and he turned it over and he said, Suzuki Roshi, this is a beautiful teacup.

[58:35]

And Suzuki Roshi said, drink the tea, Philip. Laughter Laughter Actually, he didn't say Philip. He said, drink the tea. But it's a beautiful cup. Drink the tea. Now, some people might think, I'd rather just follow my breathing and not deal with beautiful cups because I tend to get into talking about how beautiful they are. And if I don't want Suzuki Roshi there to tell me to just drink the tea, I'm afraid I'm going to get into Rhapsody's The Beauty of the Cup. So I'm just going to not have beautiful cups for a while. Fine. Okay? That's okay. Okay. But if you can just be upright in the middle of I'm lost, I'm lost in thought, no problem the thought I'm lost in thought or the feeling I'm lost in thought. There's no reality, you know, ultimate reality to I'm lost in thought. Lost in thought is just one of the children of ultimate reality. As I was talking to someone today, what's the word she used?

[59:40]

Parody. Parody. She says, such and such is kind of a parody. And I said, everything is a parody of ultimate reality. Everything that happens is kind of a parody of what's really going on. And if you can treat everything the same with this kind of balanced, unprejudiced attitude, everything you meet is not that everything you meet is ultimate reality, but everything you meet is equally deserving of your balanced, unprejudiced attention. then you will be given the gift of verifying, you will be able to verify that it's so. That all parodies, all artifacts, all manifestations of ultimate reality are equally worthy of your compassion, if they're living beings, or your careful attention, if they're non-living beings. See, who is next?

[60:40]

I can't remember. Maybe Allison. No, maybe Mick. Maybe Mick was next. I did? Okay. Allison? I wanted to ask you about the words, put aside and study, and whether that means really just look at what's happening with your full awareness. Yeah. Put aside means don't get tangled up in it. Don't think that that's practice or not practice. It's just something to deal with. But sometimes the way to deal with it is just to put it aside. Put it aside means don't confuse it for practice. Just remember it's a phenomenon to study. Beverly? When you were talking in the example about

[61:40]

Looking at, when you woke up, the question asked, do you get up, is that all in that day, or do you do exercises, or do you go back to sleep? And you study that, I've heard that far, just to study it, but then eventually you have to make a choice, or you do make a choice. Eventually you do make, well, you make a choice, not even then, you immediately make a choice to study or not. As soon as you wake up in the morning, you immediately decide whether to study or not. If you decide to study, maybe you study. If you decide not to study, you don't. The next moment, again, you decide whether to study or not. And you could choose to decide to study by noticing, hey, the last moment I decided not to. You know? So you do decide whether to study or not every moment of your life. Beverly says you have to decide whether to go to bed or zendo or bed. Okay? Well, that's what Beverly says.

[62:45]

Okay? That you have to decide. But again, that's what she means is that that's what she thinks. Right? She doesn't mean that that's actually true what she said. She means that that's what she just thought. Right, Beverly? Right. So, thinking that it's true is thinking the thought that you have to go. And then thinking that it's true, those are two thoughts. You think they're more than thoughts? You think they're realities too? Given that they're thoughts, is it that we choose on the basis of wholesome action? Could you stay with this for a little longer? So first you said, we have to choose whether to go to the Zendo or not. And then you said, well, that's true. Now I said, to me, those seem like two thoughts.

[63:48]

Now, do you think that those are true, other than being thoughts, anything more than thoughts? Well, just, would you answer the question, do you think they're true or not? They're not true in any intrinsic sense. Pardon? Pardon? In living in actual reality, yes? Yes? In living in actual reality, you might think another thought, a third thought, namely that it is, first of all, that the first one was true, because the first thing was a thought that you thought was true, and then that's true that it's true. And that's what you think. You do think that. And I'm saying to you, That's a normal human thing to do. That's our habit, is to think that our thinking, we actually think our thinking is true or false. So that's the situation. And you say that's the normal situation that you're in?

[64:50]

That's quite common. I know about that. Okay? That's the world of karma. You got it right there. Okay? And I can also say that what you said is not true, if I want to, because I can say you don't have to just choose between going to the zendo or not going to the zendo. You don't have to make your life that way. You don't have to see it. Pardon? You can go to the zendo and sleep. You can also, instead of going back to bed, you can take a walk. In fact, I say that those aren't even superficially true necessarily. They could be argued that they're not even necessarily valid. But the point is, what do you think? Do you think this thought? Yes. Do you think it's true? Yes. Do you think it's true that it's true? Yes. How many times do I have to ask you that question before you say, well, actually, I'm starting to think that maybe this isn't true because I'm getting a headache. But I think that's because you're asking me all these questions. You think that's true? Well, maybe you say yes.

[65:51]

And the point is, are you watching what you're thinking and noticing that what you're thinking is actually your thoughts rather than realities? But in fact, a lot of people are just like putting up these thoughts and it's like, here I am, reality, [...] truth, [...] rather than thought, thought, thought, thought. It is actually illusion, [...] illusion. These thoughts are illusions. They are illusions. They're not realities other than just being thoughts. They're perfectly good thoughts, but they're not really like, you know, they can be valid thoughts, but as you say, they're not ultimately true. But we act like they are. We act like they're as true as such a thought can be. And we act like that because rather than study these thoughts, we just let them come up and fall for them and respond to believing them. And then another one comes up and we think it's a truth and we respond like we think it's a truth without any awareness of, I'm doing that.

[66:57]

without any awareness of, I'm falling for these thoughts. But the practice is that somebody's there noticing so-and-so's thinking this, and they believe what they're thinking, and they're doing what they're, and their actions are coming from belief in their thinking. Even if you do think these thoughts, and even if you do think they're realities, and even if you do act based on them, if somebody's there watching, you're on the right track. Because eventually that mode of being aware of this poor person who's actually trying to run her life on the basis of her thinking, this miserable situation, that somebody's willing to be there and watch this and study this in this balanced way, this creates a channel, a mode, a gate for the realization of the world which is actually reality. where you do not have to choose between going to the zendo or not. Where you are actually sitting in Buddha's lap.

[68:05]

And if there's a zendo, I don't have to decide whether to go. Someone would say, oh yes you do, because if you don't go, you decide not to go. You can say, I love you to that person. That's all. You don't have to fight back to your thinking. You're a happy camper because you have been given the gift of the way things really are happening prior to all this judgment and evaluation of things. But you have to install this meditation practice in the middle of this truth-generating machine. You know? There has to be somebody who's awake there and noticing, oh, here's another reality. Here's another kind of like yes or no situation that's been created by my mind. Oh, no, here's a three-pronged opportunity. I can go right, left, or fall down. And that's it. I mean, those are the options, and that's actually how many there are.

[69:10]

They're not seven, there's three. Who set that up? Me. Isn't that funny that I can actually create the number of opportunities just by thinking them? And somebody else can come along and say, actually, there's 19. And I can say, oh, thanks, and then have 19. Or I can say, no, there's only three. This is the way we are. We have this kind of opportunity. The question is, is somebody there watching the show? And is that person watching the show because they have heard that that is the practice of the Buddhas, they've checked it out, got confirmation of their understanding, have been practicing it, and as they practice it, they feel some justification and affirmation that they're doing the practice properly, and are they creating the place where revelation of truth can happen. Somebody has to be awake to what's going on for the thing to, like, you know,

[70:14]

be able to be receptive of what's actually going on. And we have to be aware of what's going on in the realm of delusion. We have to be aware of what's going on in the realm of delusion. Because delusion is going on. Because I am thinking X. That's delusion. that it's not so much that X is a delusion, but that I am thinking it is a delusion. That I am the focal point and author of these thoughts is delusion. Not to mention that some of the delusions are invalid if I say that they're true. So a thought... Like, let's say Beverly says, well, it's such a time of day, and I have to decide between going to the zendo and not going to the zendo. And she talks to one of the other people in the practice period. And they say, I know what you mean by zendo, and I know what you mean by not going or going, and I agree with you.

[71:16]

So because they agree, this is a potentially valid thought. So far it could be a valid thought. But if they say it's true, both of them say it's true, and somebody else comes walking along who's been studying Buddhism for a while and understands what emptiness is, that person will disagree with them, that this is like reality. He can agree with them or she can agree with them that, yes, it's true, there is this conventional reality of a schedule, commitments, and zendos. They can agree with that. We all said such things exist. But if you say that they inherently exist or that they're true, then that person won't agree with you. And that then becomes not just a thought but an invalid thought. to say that that's true, that you have to decide between going to the zendo and not to zendo. There's people over in Mill Valley, they're not really deciding whether to go to the zendo or not to go to the zendo. They aren't. I mean, it's not... And you can sort of pin that on them, but that's just... They won't go for it.

[72:18]

They're not into that. You don't have to be into that either. You can go to the zendo without deciding to go to the zendo. You don't have to. But if you do, you don't have to say that that's a reality. You don't have to, but you can. But that's invalid. But even if you just say, I'm deciding to go to Zendo, and that's a thought, and that's all it is, is a thought, that's valid. The Buddha will agree with you, that's a thought. But the fact that you think you can do it, that's a delusion. That won't hold up. But that you have the thought, Zendo, or I'm going to go to Zendo, or I'm tired, those are perfectly good thoughts, but that's all they are. The practice is to remember a thought is a thought. A kiss is a kiss. That's it. A kiss isn't like ultimately real. If you try to make it into that, you're going to have trouble establishing the validity of that opinion.

[73:21]

But there's still plenty of valid opinions left, namely like this is Monday. That's a perfectly reasonable thing. We can verify that. But if you say this is truly Monday, then we're going to have an argument. Because actually, it's Tuesday in Japan. What if you say it's Monday just in California? Okay. As long as you don't say it's true, that's a reality that it's Monday. Because when you say it's Monday in California, you realize it's relatively Monday. There are lots of other places on this planet, not to mention, who knows what the people on the moon, what day they think it is. When the astronauts are up there, where do they tune in to say what time, what day it is? Do they do it to Houston? Japan? Or, you know, London? What day is it? It's relative. There isn't really absolute truth about what day it is. Okay? Linnea? Linnea? Could you just say more about that?

[74:44]

Well, uh-huh? She said something about a pause in thinking? A pause in... Well, I guess I'm curious about the experience of, well, once I use the word experience, I don't know if I'm really asking the right question, but the awareness of space around a thought that allows for that does it allow for that possibility? You know, I don't know. Okay. It's getting late, so I guess we should stop. Yeah.

[75:45]

Just really quickly. All right. Well, once we've established that you're not necessarily in the zendo, or when she's trying to decide... Once you've established that you're not really in the zendo... She's in bed, trying to decide whether she's going to go to the zendo or not go to the zendo. Her feet carry her, her body takes her to the zendo, and she sits down. Yes. Is it true that she's sitting in the zendo? If she thinks she's sitting in a zendo, and you think she's sitting in a zendo, and neither one of you say that that's an ultimate truth... How can it not be an ultimate truth? Well, it can be an ultimate... Didn't you say, how can it not be an ultimate truth? How can it be an ultimate truth? It can be an ultimate truth, I guess... when ultimate truth is, I shouldn't say, ultimate truth is that it's just that you and she say you're in there.

[76:48]

That's ultimate truth. So I would say, take it back and say, do you think it really is substantially true? Like there's some substance of truth in the fact that you and she, not that you and she, but by you and she thinking that she's in the zendo, that that is substantially true. If you think that, then ultimate truth would say, no, no, it's just a conventional thing you set up. But if you try to make it into more than that, it's not a conventional thing. And thinking that way, if observed as thinking that way, observing it as thinking that way, that's to let the cognized just be the cognized. That's training yourself in being upright. But you can get a whole bunch of people together, all of whom think that somebody sitting in his endo, that doesn't make it, you know, substantially true because you needed all those people to have it be true.

[78:01]

If they all change their mind, then you say, well, it's not true anymore. So it's not a truth that stands by itself. It depends on all these people's opinions. That's not an inherent truth As soon as they change their mind, it's not true anymore. It doesn't hold up. But there are no things like that. There aren't any things which are really like inherently true. There aren't such things. Except this faith that you described earlier? That's not that way either. That's not like inherently that way. That's the mode in which you receive the gift of understanding that nothing's that way. And I mean like having your life become like that. That you actually are that way. I mean you become somebody who no longer believes... that she really inherently exists. That's a gift that can come to you, that you are actually that way, rather than just have a glimpse of it. I shouldn't say rather than have a glimpse, to actually have an actual, you know, existential realization of that can be given to you, that you are living that way, that you really are living that way, and your life comes from that, can be given to you when you practice this way.

[79:08]

But this way of practicing itself is not also not an inherently existing thing. It's just among the things that don't inherently exist, that conventionally exist, this mode of being opens the door to a mode of being where you understand with your body that there's no substantial realities, that everything's interconnected. But that mode of practice, that's not an inherently existing thing. Nothing's like that. It's just one of the modes of being It's just one of the modes of being. But it turns out it is the mode of being which the Buddha has taught as the mode in which bodhi is realized. That's all. It's important, but that doesn't pump it up to like being something like nothing really is. It's still stuck in being like everything else. It's just that it's one of the varieties of phenomenal things. It's a variety of phenomenal things called the Buddhist path.

[80:09]

Okay? So, again, I appreciate the hands being raised, but we have to stop, sort of, you know. Right, Beverly? There's no quick one. There's no quick one. There's no quick one. See? We don't have to stop, and there's no quick one. And there's no zazen. But there is kin hime. So then you go like this, you can put your hands together and you say something like, may I worship you.

[80:48]

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