A big threshold from the wind. Did you hear what I said? I was thinking of the Ides of March. The Ides of March. Oh yes, it's the Ides of March. And in two days it'll be St. Patrick's Day. And, look, it's going to happen that day too. Also, I guess it's one more month. We've gone two months already. The first two weeks took about three years. And now it's only two months. I think the wind is saying, you know,

[01:04]

you've got one month left, have a good time. I'll be with you. It seems like most of Chinese poetry is about saying goodbye. Seeing so-and-so off to the gate, watching so-and-so ride away, all those things involved. And I... I don't want to say goodbye to the fourth ancestor. But I want to... I want to say hello to his disciple, Hung Ren. Hello, Hung Ren. Hung Ren means to spread patience or to widen capacity.

[02:09]

And so it's named Da Man Hung Ren. Or Dai... How do you say it? Dai Man Kong Yin? Dai Man Kong Yin. In Chinese, Da Man Hung Ren. Da Man means great roundness or great fullness, great completion. Great completion, spreading patience. Fifth ancestor. The only disciple of the great teacher, Dao Shen. And I was just thinking, poor guy, he lives between the great Dao Shen and the sixth patriarch. So he's kind of a little dip there. Kind of in the mountain range. Kind of like those three peaks out there. You know, there's one peak where Nyogen Senzaki was put, and then there's a little dip where Suzuki Roshi is.

[03:12]

And there's another big place out there where we can put whoever turns out to be the big one. But he's a little bit of a dip there. But anyway, he's number five, and that's pretty good. Now, I've been talking about the fourth ancestor's teaching, and there's two aspects of the fourth ancestor's teaching. One aspect is a kind of teaching from the source, or teaching from the point of view of effect, or teaching from the point of view of fruit. The other point of view is teaching from the point of view of the process, or the cause. So, the one practice samadhi is a samadhi

[04:14]

in which you absorb yourself from the point of view of the effect. You absorb yourself from the point of view of oneness. And then he provides all kinds of skill and means. If you can't do that, if you can't practice from the point of view of oneness, if you can't practice from the point of view of Buddha, if you want to practice from the point of view of a sentient being, in a process, and from your own point of view that you're not enlightened, well then there's a process, a gradual process, where you can cause Buddhahood, in a sense, or cause your awakening to reality. So, talking about going down is a kind of process orientation. And then two things come up around going down. People say, well, how do you go down? And then the other question that comes up is, how do you know when you hit the bottom? How do you know when you've reached the place where the mind is still?

[05:23]

I'm not good enough at knowing your mind to say very strongly to some people, you should practice from the point of view of effect. Just practice the one practice of Samadhi. Forget about some gradual attainment. Or you should practice a gradual way. So what many of you, it's kind of flip-flop between these two approaches in your practice. And I'm just sort of letting that happen, without pushing you one side or the other. And again, as a way to say goodbye to the fore-ancestor, I would say again, to try to convey, this one practice of Samadhi is simply to be aware of everything as life.

[06:38]

To absorb yourself in the oneness of life. The sound of whatever that is, is banging around, that's life. I'm life, you're life, we're all life, the floor is life, the mountains are life, everything is life. There's just one life. And no matter what happens, that life continues. Birth and death don't touch it. Nothing disturbs it. And another way he tried to teach this was to say, have no objects of thought. In other words, whenever you see anything, it's not something in front of you, it's not an object. Everything you see is your life. This instruction,

[07:44]

you will hear echoed again, in the 5th, 6th, and all the ancestors, you'll hear them teaching the same practice. Have no objects of thought. Absorb yourself in oneness. Having no objects means also there's no subject, by the way. Have no objects of thought. But then someone might ask, well, how do you have no objects of thought? Well, if you really want to know how, then you have to sort of... if you want a method for doing it, then you don't believe you can do it right now. You don't believe that this is what it's like to have no objects of thought. And if you don't believe this is what it's like to have no objects of thought, then you're saying, well, I want to go from the point of view of the way I see things, and therefore I want to do a gradual practice.

[08:47]

So again, it's like the story of the young man who gets lost, and he wanders back home and his parents see him, and they welcome him, but he doesn't believe that he belongs in the house. So he has to go through a gradual process of building his confidence until finally he can admit that he's home. So the Buddha way has these two sides, and some days you use one, some days you don't use another. Now, again, the question of how do you know

[09:50]

how you're doing, or whether you hit the bottom, or whether you're finished, or whether this is emptiness, or these kinds of things. Again, at this level of practice, it's not a matter of knowing or not knowing, but it is a matter of doubt or not doubt. If you doubt, you doubt. So if you doubt, then that's it. Then you know you don't think you're there. And someone else can say, well, that's it. But if you still doubt, you doubt. The Buddha way does not depend on knowing, because if it did, then if knowing went away, and knowing is just another conditioned event, if knowing went away, then the Buddha way did. So the Buddha way is not hanging on knowing, and doesn't get hurt by not knowing. So our knowing or not knowing doesn't touch it, although knowing and not knowing is included in it.

[10:54]

But there is a matter of practice with no doubt. And in the story of the first and second ancestor, he says, I have no more involvements. Doesn't that fall into nihilism? No. Prove it. I'm always clear and aware, and words can't reach it. Have no more doubt. He already had no doubt. He was saying, I have no more involvements. In other words, I don't doubt anymore. I have no doubts. But the ancestor also, his teachers confirmed his lack of doubt, and said, go ahead, continue not to doubt. But you're the first one to say, I have no more doubts. Somebody else doesn't tell you that you don't have doubts.

[11:58]

But when you have no doubts, then someone can confirm it. Or, anyway, another can confirm it. And that is necessary. Although you don't need another to help you have no doubt. You just need confirmation. And you can also confirm yourself. This woman I told you about that moved into our house in San Francisco to help take care of our daughter, she started this practice at the breakfast table. In addition to changing the chant, she started a practice called daily affirmations. And I say daily affirmations, daily confirmations. An example of something that we confirm,

[13:18]

you say, I love and honor Blahdi Blah, about myself. So, I said, the time I was there and did it, I said, I love and honor my great compassionate heart. And I love and honor my appetite. And Rusa said, I love and honor, maybe she said also her heart, and she said, I love and honor the fact that sometimes it needs to be closed. Open heart, Buddha nature. Love and honor it. Closed heart, Buddha nature. Love and honor it. The lotus blossom opens in the sunlight

[14:22]

and closes in the night. It's not supposed to be open in the night. Your heart sometimes closes and sometimes opens. Respect and honor and love both ways that your heart is. Buddha nature is unhindered by the opening and closing of your heart. But, if you don't honor the opening and the closing, you don't confirm your Buddha nature. I also said something which I didn't dare say in public, but here I dare to say it. I said, I love and honor my ability to hurt people. And I love and honor my ability to be hurt when I find out what I've done.

[15:25]

Now, you shouldn't love and honor your ability to hurt people, right? You should hate that and not like it. But then again, you deny your Buddha nature. It permeates even your ability to hurt people. You all have the ability to hurt somebody. Anybody that loves you, you can hurt. Anybody that opens their heart to you, all you got to do is wink or look sideways and you can hurt them. It doesn't take that much to hurt somebody when they're open to you. But we don't want to love and honor that, right? You have to do it. Otherwise, you won't be able to confirm yourself and you'll have doubts about yourself. Well, whenever you want to, go ahead, confirm yourself. Whenever you're ready, just go ahead and confirm yourself.

[16:32]

And then I invite you, come and sing a song to me. I'd be happy to hear it. Okay? Now, that's the side from the point of view of the effect, okay? That's practice from the point of view of the effect. You don't have to be good in order to practice conformity or Buddha nature. You don't have to be bad. You can do it right now. But there's another kind of practice which we call going down. And Sashin is good for that. And in the past, I've been talking about in terms of following the stream to the source. Or going back home. Or, yeah, or the backwards step. These are various other ways of talking about it. Back to the source. Back home. Going back to the source, that's the cause of realizing the source.

[17:40]

You walk back to the source. When you're at the source, then you wake up to what's happening. But you have to walk upstream there to do that. Rather than saying, this is the source. I confirm this as the source. I confirm this as Buddhahood. Or Buddha nature. Now again, people say, well, how do you do that? How do you go home? Or how do you walk back to the source? Or how do you, what, go down? And the basic way is you go back through delusion. Delusion. Buddhas live in delusion. That's where they practice. And if you're lost, then your way home is through the experience of being lost.

[18:41]

If you're lost in the forest and trying to get back to Tassajar, your way back to Tassajar is through the experience, step by step, of being lost. And every step you take is a step towards home. When you're lost. Now, if you know, if you're not lost, like if you're up on the Tassajar road, at line point, and you don't feel lost, then if you start walking down the hill this way, you're going towards home. But you're not lost. But if you walk the other way, you're not going towards home. But the reason why you're not going towards home is because you're not lost. You know the way the road works. So if you're not lost, then you know when you're going towards home, and you know when you're going away from home. You know when you're going towards the source, and you know where the source is, and you know when you're moving away from the source.

[19:56]

But you don't feel lost. When you realize Buddha nature, you can go towards the source or away from the source, and you know which way it is. But when you're lost, any direction, any direction you go is towards home. Because you can only get back through being lost. But, funny thing is, of course, since it's being lost, we think it's not the way home. Of course, you're just confirming your lostness. That's the thing about the burning house. This point is very difficult and very simple. To me, it's very intense, this point, that being lost is the way home, and that this delusion is the way towards its source.

[21:04]

You have to pull yourself through the delusion back to the source. You don't pull yourself through clarity back to the source. If you're going up the stream, you have to go into the stream of this stuff coming at you. And this stuff that's coming at you is not the source. It's water coming from the source, and it's pushing you away. You have to go into it, and it's saying, get away, this is not the source. And you have to say, I know it's not the source, but this is the way to the source. So I kind of want you to get this point.

[22:09]

And part of the reason why I want you to get it is because I know people just don't like it, and they don't believe it. And that's why they don't know how to work. Again, the Prajnaparamita Sutra says, from where do you step off into perfect wisdom? From where do you set out on perfect wisdom? You set out from here. If you're lost, you set out from being lost. If you're confused, it's from confusion that you go into perfect wisdom. Of course we think, well, the way into perfect wisdom should probably be sort of, maybe somewhat imperfect wisdom. We keep not believing in this place. The path comes forth from here, no matter how bad it is. And I also, I'm going to tell you a story or some stories about the fifth ancestor, but before I tell the story, stories are like this too, you see.

[23:29]

Stories are just stories. I want to tell you something about teaching, or trying to teach, and that is, I want to say this so that you understand it, but I also think sometimes, maybe I should just drool and let you do the work. You know? If I could say it more sloppily, then you would sort of figure out the way that I should be saying it so that you would get it. You know? So I'm trying to say this thing about stories to you, so that you understand how to work with stories. To say it in a way that will actually penetrate, but then I think, well, maybe if I should fumble more, then you'll sort of say, well, no, say it this way, say it that way.

[24:32]

If you said it this way, I would understand. So it's more like, I'm trying to figure out what way to say it to you so that you will get it, but maybe I should just not try so hard. But then you do the work, okay? You figure out the way I should have said it so that you would have got it, and then get it. Alright? So, I'll try to fumble. Now, stories are about stories. Like, for example, I heard a story about the Sixth Ancestor. What was the story? The story was, he was really enlightened. I mean, super enlightened. And I thought, well, so what? I mean, what good is it to hear somebody else was enlightened? Why should I come and tell you guys that the Sixth Ancestor was really a brute at enlightenment? Just an horrible, terrible, gross, crushing enlightenment. Why should I tell you that?

[25:35]

What good is it to you? Something you can probably even be discouraged by that story. And I saw this movie one time about King Arthur. And, you know, King Arthur, after he was a pretty good king, and then he went into rough times. His wife had an affair with somebody else, and he got upset about it, and he more or less fell apart. Right? Anyway, this great king, he just sort of went to waste, and the whole country went to waste. And then they had to go out and get this thing called the grail, this wonderful cup. And I can't remember if it was before or after he got the grail back. But anyway, he was wandering among the people, and he ran into some kid or somebody, and he said something like,

[26:42]

What are you doing, or what's your trip? And the kid said, I'm going to be a knight. And here's the great king, you know, sort of after all this mess, and he's thinking, why would anybody want to be a knight? I mean, he himself and Lancelot all just sort of smashed into smithereens. And I don't know if the kid said it or who said it, but somebody said, I want to become a knight because of the stories people tell. Because of the stories about King Arthur. See the difference? When I was a kid, one time I was at a thing called a Dairy Queen. Do you know what a Dairy Queen is?

[27:46]

It's a place where they serve ice cream and stuff. Don't get me wrong, we have Dairy Queens. Anyway, I got this Dairy Queen, where this Dairy Queen was on the border between two kind of gang areas. Between where my gang lived and where this other gang lived. So people from both gangs used to go to this Dairy Queen. So I was at this Dairy Queen and I was standing next to these two guys, and they weren't quite as tall as Brian, but you know, they were much taller than me. These two guys, 17 year old boys. Also, the area I lived in was a kind of upper middle class area. And the neighboring gang area was kind of a rich middle class, really rich.

[28:49]

So there's these nice big healthy boys from a rich neighborhood standing there. I was just standing next to them having my ice cream cone. And one of them said to the other one, I heard that Rev Anderson is around here someplace. And the one said to the other one, and the other one said, where? Do you understand? He looked up to see where I was. So I just sort of snuck away. Those, there were stories. The stories people tell. Now, if they found out who I was, I would have destroyed their stories. I didn't want to do that. And King Arthur didn't want to either.

[29:54]

He didn't say, you want to be a knight? You want to be a monk? Look at me. This is what the stories are about. Look at this mess. He didn't say that. He just listened to the boy and let the boy go off and try to be that story. The story isn't King Arthur. The story isn't the knights. The story is something that people want to live. So these stories aren't something that you read about, you know. You read a story about these Zen people. You don't read them and then you sort of like, you sit over there and look at them to try to figure out what they're about. You live them. Or you don't. You don't have to live all of them. You live the ones that you want to live. You want to be like them because of those stories. Not because they really were that way.

[30:56]

Who knows what they were like? The point is, you want to be that way. You want to be however they were. Whatever it was that touched your heart and said, Hey, that's my home. I want to go there and do that. And you live those stories. You live those delusions. You live that being lost. And it takes you home. And you find out when you get there, there's nothing to the stories. There's nothing to them. But without a story, we can't live. So I tell stories. You tell stories. We all tell stories. These stories are ways home. These stories are delusions to take us home. And pick the one that touches your heart most deeply and live it. Pick a koan that touches you and live that koan. Don't stare at it. Be it.

[31:59]

So I don't know if you like this story. This is a story that's... Well, I'll tell you the story. This is a story about the fourth and the fifth ancestors meeting. And I guess I'll say this before the story. This is a story of the type that when I first started practicing Zen, this is not the kind of story I liked. Because I couldn't understand how to live it. And you'll see why. So, in a former life, the fifth ancestor was called the Pine-Planting Wayfarer, a broken-head nun. The Pine-Planting Wayfarer went to the fourth ancestor and said, Please, teach me the truth.

[33:03]

Teach me the way of truth. And the fourth ancestor said, You're already old. Even if I teach it to you, will you be able to spread it? Come back. I'll wait for you. Or if you come back, I'll wait for you. So the Pine-Planter left. And he went over to the riverside and he saw a maiden there. And he went up to her and he said, Will you give me lodging? And she said, You better go ask my parents. And he says, I'll go if you agree. And she said, She nodded. And he left. She was the youngest daughter

[34:06]

of a family named Joe. And when she got home, she was pregnant. Her parents, of course, thought this was too much and kicked her out. She had nowhere to turn to, so she got a job in town, spinning by day, and even in at night. Eventually, she gave birth to a son. She thought he was the cause of her misfortune. Considered him unlucky and threw him in the river. But he didn't float downstream, he flowed upstream and didn't even get wet. For seven days, spiritual beings protected him.

[35:06]

Two of them were birds and they covered him with their wings in the daytime. And two of them were dogs and they curled around him at night and guarded him. After seven days, his body was still healthy and alert and his mother realized something was up. And started to feed him and take care of him. As he grew up, he went begging with his mother and the people called him the Nameless Child. One day, he was walking along the road, the Wong May Road, Wong May means yellow plum. Wong May is the mountain that the fourth ancestor lived on. He was walking along the Wong,

[36:15]

the yellow plum road and he and his mother and he was seven years old at the time. And the fifth ancestor, the fourth ancestor saw him and noticed something was unusual about the boy and said to him, and here I have to give you a little warning. The word for nature, the character for nature and the character for name, family name are pronounced the same way. So, Shing. So, the ancestor says, what's your Shing, what's your name, your family name? And he said, I have a Shing but it's not the ordinary Shing.

[37:16]

I have a nature but it's not the ordinary name. And the ancestor said, you don't have a Shing? And he said, no, I don't have a Shing. He said, because of natural emptiness emptiness. And the ancestor says, well, what is your Shing, what is your nature? And he said, Fa Shing, Buddha nature. So, even you would probably notice that this is an unusual child. So, the fourth ancestor and his mother said, please. So, at seven years old he became

[38:22]

the attendant of the fourth ancestor and studied with him for 30 years and became his successor. From the time he was ordained until the teaching was transmitted to him, there was never an hour when he wasn't sitting. At night he sat all night until dawn and even during the day doing his chores he sat. When he was 72 years old he said, my work is done, I'm going to leave now. And,

[39:23]

he passed away quietly while sitting. Now, you may wonder, how can you be sitting all day even while doing your chores? Well, you see, he was a disciple of the fourth ancestor. And the fourth ancestor said, have no objects of thought. And the sixth ancestor, Hoi Nam, defines sitting as sitting means to have no objects of thought. That's what sitting means. Sitting means there's no outside thoughts. In that way, a Zen monk should always be sitting. So,

[40:34]

that's the story of the fifth ancestor. And, the reason why it's the kind of story that I didn't like when I first started studying Zen was because I didn't like this part about, you know, being this time planting wayfarer of Broken Head Mountain and then being born in this girl and growing up and I didn't dig that part because I didn't know how to do that, I didn't know how to live that. Stories I like were stories which I could actually live or which I was close to living, which I could almost do. Which were a little different from what I usually do but I could see where I could make the difference and live that way. But this story is a little bit I have to it's a little bit literary, you know. But after reading the Odyssey and Iliad

[41:35]

I'm more susceptible to this story and actually understand a little bit better how I might go down into this story. How I might crawl back up through the stream of the story to the source of the story. Yeah. I don't know quite where to go now. I guess I want to Can I say something? Yeah. I like the story a lot

[42:38]

But because, again, because there's a mother in the book, and you have interest in the story of a mother, it's like, because he has finally learned about his ancestors. No, really. Yeah. No, really? No, really. You don't think I would think that would make sense? Well, you know, I had this... I was going to bring the poem, but I forgot it. I forgot to bring it. It's a poem by Baudelaire. I think it's called something like... The Blessing. And it's about the mother of a poet. I don't know what the mother of a poet is, but... It starts out something like... When, by... decision of sovereign power,

[43:40]

a poet is to be born in a bored world with clenched fists. Its mother turns towards a pitying god and curses, saying, wouldn't it have been better to plague me with a litter of vipers than this monstrosity? And it goes on, but I can't remember it. But the mother of a poet, the mother of a poet, you know, whatever a mother of a poet is, I don't know what that is, it's the bored world. It oftentimes wants to reject this animal. The world needs this person,

[44:43]

this bored world needs this person, but also the world doesn't want this person. And it takes a long time before the world realizes that... understands what it is. Nonetheless, that world which doesn't recognize it is the world that gives birth to it. It's not another mother. It's that mother. In other words, part of the message here may be, if the mother... if it's already what the mother expects, it's not a poet. It's not a spiritual genius. And that's similar to what I was saying before,

[45:44]

namely, the way back home is through delusion. Through the delusion, for example, that this... well, whatever the delusion is. Anyway, that's the actual mother of your Buddha nature. The mother of your Buddha nature is not the mother which says, oh, this is the baby I wanted. That's the mother of the baby that goes downstream when you throw it in the water. Of course, you don't throw it in the water because you love that baby. That's a nice baby. But the baby that's going to go upstream, that's exactly the one you would throw in the stream because you have to throw it in the stream to see it's going to go up instead of down. In other words, it's exactly what you don't want. It's exactly the direction you're not going. But the one who gives birth to that which is going in the other direction, that is the mother. Thank you.

[46:48]

There's this term that I came across called the Tathagatagarbha. I think it's the moon. The moon of the Tathagatagarbha. Is that... Do you think that's part of the story? Like he was going back to the moon or going back to his true nature or something before he could be the next ancestor? Yeah, you're already old. Okay? You're already old. You have to die and be born again before you can receive the teaching. In the story, did he die? Well, he was this old man. He went up to this young woman and said, Can I take lodging in you? She became pregnant, had this baby, and this baby grew up, met the fourth ancestor. So, some of you,

[47:57]

even though, some of us I should say, even though we're not so old in years, are actually old, sort of old spiritually, sort of too old spiritually to actually receive the teaching. We have to die spiritually and be reborn and be a little kid again and be a little beggar with no name and no father and grow up in order to meet the teaching again. That's one way, that's one understanding of the story. If you live this story, if you try to live this story, which is difficult to live because it's, you know, it involves a birth and a death maybe, you might come to the conclusion that you're old and dry spiritually. And even if you get the teaching, even if the fourth ancestor walked in here now, can you imagine, and gave you the teaching, you're too old, you wouldn't be able to spread it. You have to meet the fourth ancestor when you're a kid

[48:58]

and grow up with them. In other words, we have to find some way to make ourselves spiritually young and innocent again. Well, how are you going to do that? You've got to die. Old, foggy, Zen students have to die in order to get the teaching. But maybe you're not an old, foggy Zen student, maybe you're just a little kid. And then the sixth, the fourth, tenth, whatever ancestor will be happy to give it to you because then you can grow up with it and spread it. But if you're on the verge of kicking off spiritually anyway, why waste the time? You shouldn't get any more teaching now. You should just die so that you come back fresh. And then, anything you get will be good. You know? You don't have to get any advanced teaching. Or do you die?

[50:00]

Just be deluded. That's how you die. Be willing to be deluded. That'll kill you fast. But, you know, you've got to have strong motivation to be willing to be deluded. Who wants to do that? Even old, decrepit spiritual beings want to get the best teaching possible. But... Hmm... You've got to eat your delusion first before you can get good teaching. Eat your way back to where the delusion comes from. Hmm... Eat the cliché of your body. Eat the cliché of your breath. The delusion of what your breath is, the delusion of what your body is. Back to the source of where your body comes from. Back to the source of where your breath comes from. The breath that we see now is delusion.

[51:08]

The breath, the body we see now is delusion. The ideas, everything is delusion. But at the source of that stuff, then we'll see what that stuff is. Get a fresh body, fresh breath, fresh teeth, fresh hair, fresh everything, fresh ideas, and then, anything will be satisfactory by teaching. So that turned out to be a pretty good story anyway. Thanks. And the mother's in there. You see the mother? The very, the very thing in you which does not want this particular baby. That is the real mother of a, of a Buddha. Buddha's mother

[52:13]

does not like Buddha. So the very thing about you that doesn't like your delusions, that's the mother of your enlightenment. But what happens to the mother after he becomes a nun? What happens to the mother after he becomes a nun? And suddenly she disappears in that story. So why is she afterwards? She disappears and so does the boy. They both disappear. They, the story's over. They've done their, they both have their job. And now, you're going to another relationship. You can't have the mother without the boy. Okay? You can't have the boy without the mother. But the boy isn't being a boy anymore. Therefore, there's no mother. And the mother isn't being a mother anymore. She did her job. And when a mother's

[53:14]

not doing her job anymore, her mother's not a mother. You can't have a mother without a baby. So she's the person that she's not the ancestor, she's the womb of the ancestor. And again, what I'm proposing is a strange thing about the womb. The womb that produces a Buddha is an anti-womb. You know? It's a womb that doesn't like the baby. Because the baby is going to go away and become a Buddha. The baby is too weak to wake the world up. The baby's going in the opposite direction of the world. Therefore, the world doesn't like it. But the world that doesn't like the baby that's going in the opposite direction, that is the world that needs a Buddha. If the world liked Buddha, it wouldn't need Buddha. If the world

[54:16]

already believed Buddha, it wouldn't be necessary. But because the world doesn't like Buddha, that world that doesn't like Buddha is the world that gives rise to Buddha. Now, again, you might think, oh no, let's see now. I don't like Buddha. Or do I like Buddha? I don't like delusion. So, is delusion Buddha? Hey, I'm delusion. I want something else from this. Does that mean that this attitude is the birth of Buddha? That I don't like this? Hmm.

[55:17]

Is this the Tathagatagarbha? Is this the womb of the Buddha? No. It must be something else that's the womb of the Buddha. So, where will I get something else that's the beginning of Buddha? So,

[56:28]

where will I get something else that's the beginning of Buddha?

[57:38]

where will I get something else that's the beginning of Buddha? So, where will I get

[57:52]

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