I've heard that being a Buddha ancestor, which I might parenthetically note I've heard is not of interest to some of you. Maybe I should start before I get into this any further that I think I've been What do you call it? Not exactly channeled, but I'm not channeled. I've been taken over by the Buddha ancestors. I'm not a Buddha ancestor, and I'm also not not a Buddha ancestor, and neither are you. But I've been taken over by the Buddha ancestors. I'm now like a puppet of them. So I notice that I feel like I have to talk about Buddha ancestors pretty much all the time. So, I know you may not be interested in Buddha ancestors, but you might be interested in me.

[01:04]

How it happens that I happen to wind up talking about them. Well, I mean, anyway, watch it. Being a Buddha ancestor, I've heard, necessarily, it is necessary. In being a Buddha ancestor, it is necessary to be the ocean seal samadhi. I heard that. All Buddha ancestors are always in this samadhi. But another way to put it is, all Buddha ancestors are this samadhi. Swimming in this samadhi, or swimming in this ocean, there is a time

[02:07]

for speaking. There is a time for singing. There is a time for experiencing. There is a time for acting. The business of bodhisattvas I propose to you is not to disseminate information about birth and death, or nirvana, or perhaps I should say the main business of bodhisattvas is not to disseminate information about Buddhism. They do it, you know, you name it, they do it.

[03:08]

But that's not their main job. It's not their job mainly, their business mainly, to give awe-inspiring Dharma talks. It's not their job even to carry beings to the other shore. They vowed to do so, but that's not their main job. Their main job is to enter completely the ocean, the turbulent ocean of all beings. That's their job. Once they get in there, you know, they give all inspiring Dharma talks. They, you know, do book signings. They change diapers. They convey beings left and right, and the beings convey them right and left. A lot of stuff happens, but the main thing is they're in the ocean now with all beings in this unobstructed, uncharted harmony and turbulence.

[04:24]

That's the main job. Some of you may actually be in the ocean right now, for all I know. I mean, you may feel like you've entered. Others of you may feel like you don't know if you have or not, but you'd rather not. Some of you may feel like you're tipping your toes in. And I just wanted to mention or ask you, what's the relationship between meditation and this ocean? What's the relationship between meeting whatever comes with no mind? and being in this ocean, seal, samadhi. What? Yeah, same thing, but also it's a way of entering. It's the same thing, but it's also a way of entering. It's the way of being there. that encourages all things to come to you.

[05:33]

Yes? Because it's so easy and it's so hard, it's our intention? Yeah. So meeting whatever comes with complete relaxation, meeting whatever comes with no comment, meeting whatever comes not grasping anything, that way of being loosens the encumbrances, melts the glue, pulls out the nails, takes off the saddlebags, releases the chains that hold us back from entering the ocean. which hold us back from entering the ocean where we hold all beings and all beings hold us. If you already have entered the world, the ocean, the universe where you're holding all beings and all beings are holding you,

[06:40]

I think you probably already learned this meditation. I think you've already stopped making comments that would hold you back from deeply caring for all beings with no attachment. But if you don't feel you're fully rendered, then you can train your attention and the bond which holds you back from being a bodhisattva will melt away. I propose that to you. So anyway, you know, I had told this story a while ago and the story of some guy came to me and I said, sir, what's the most important thing to you or what's your ultimate concern? He says, to be held. And recently someone came to me and she said, I don't know if I really believe you when you tell me I'm being held by all the Buddhas. And, you know, I said to her, and I really, I think it's true for me too, I mean, for me it's true, that if I don't feel held by you, it's because I don't think I'm holding you.

[07:54]

But if I really am up for you and willing to help and be devoted and hold you, and I have no hindrance to that, then I can see that you hold me. Now, sometimes I can see you hold me even though I might have some reservations about holding you. That sometimes happens. Like, maybe kids can see that in their parents. They can see, hey, I think they're devoted to me, but I don't really feel like being devoted to them. And they keep being devoted to me. It's interesting. But If children can't see that their parents are devoted to them, then I would recommend that the children be devoted to their parents, and then they'll be able to see it. If you really are devoted to others, you'll be able to see that they're devoted to you. If you're willing to really hold them and clean up their droppings with your bare hands, you'll start to see that they're willing to do the same for you. And matter of fact, they are already. And the ability to not be squeamish about this intimacy with these droppings comes with this training of the attention to not be grasping.

[09:16]

To care for all things without gripping them. to care without coming into possession, to care about Buddhism without coming into possession, to care about your Sangha members, your friends, your families, your lovers, your body, to care for it without attachment. That's the training. Someone also asked me recently, What does Zen say about love? And I don't know why he asked me, but I said, well, really nothing. Zen doesn't really say anything about anything. That's why we love Zen. But being a Zen puppet, you have plenty to say. Then, I'm not saying anything about love as a spokesman for Zen, but I would tell you that what Zen's about is purifying love.

[10:27]

Definitely. Purifying love of grasping. Purifying love of judgment and prejudice and comment and measurement and grasping. so that the love really functions fully. I'm just singing. I don't know about you. And I wanted to mention something I kind of promised to talk about. Do you remember one of the things I promised to talk to you about that I haven't talked to you about? What? Oh yeah, that. Thank you. And what else? What?

[11:29]

No, I did talk about that. But I'll do that again. Yes? What? Creativity, that's kind of what you're talking about, right? Yes? What? The seal? I didn't promise to talk about the seal, did I? Okay. Well, the thing I thought I said I would talk about more is Mara, but I guess you don't remember that. So, again, I'll talk about Mara, which is somewhat related to all these other topics, of course. I'd like to hear about Mara. Thanks. So, you know, we have this story we tell about, you know, the day before yesterday, you know, Buddha was... Not Buddha, but this young man who was a really good yogi said, you know, I'm going to sit down now in this tree and I'm not going to move until... I think, I don't know, I heard him where he said, I'm not going to move until I attain the way.

[12:34]

And then Mara comes to visit him. And recently someone came and told me another way of looking at the story, which I thought was something I'd like to share with you. So he's sitting under that tree and he's kind of like, I mean, he's really a strong guy. got some problems, but he's really determined to not move until he realizes the way. And Mara's job is to stop him from realizing the way, or not necessarily to stop him, but anyway, to hinder him, to obstruct him. And Mara, by the way, is related to Marana, the word Marana, which Marana means death. And Mara means killing or destroying, the destroyer. Mara, like The name of Mara is to destroy or hinder or deaden, the deadening influence, the smothering.

[13:37]

So Mara comes to be a wet blanket for this raving meditator, this burning yogi. And he sends all kinds of aggressive energy, that doesn't work. And then he sends all kinds of sensuous, seductive imagery, that doesn't work. And then he comes to the big point where he says, so you think you're going to sit there and not move until you attain the way? Who do you think you are? And this person said to me that he thought that at that time, Mara expressed great compassion. And I thought, yeah, that's really true.

[14:43]

Mara really was expressing great compassion at that time. Actually, he was teaching the Buddha. You think you're going to attain the way? And maybe the Buddha actually was still coming at the practice that way, like, I'm going to sit here until, and I'm not going to move, and nothing's going to move me until I attain the way. Maybe that's kind of the attitude the Buddha had. And he was so strong, he was able to sit through all that stuff. But that final question was much more kind and clever. And Mara was actually learning a few things too, you know. He tried those old methods, but then he came up with this new one. And it really worked. It was really kind. The Buddha kind of thought, yeah, right, me attain the way. And I got this vision that what happened at that time was that, you know, usually they say, and then Buddha touched the earth to ask the earth to witness his right or something to sit there and not move.

[15:52]

And the earth said, yes, sit there, boy. You know, the earth said, yeah, we support you to do this wonderful thing. Which is a great story. I love it. But I got this new vision of it. That when he touched the ground, he disintegrated. He melted. The strong, young yogi, after six years of intense effort, that powerful energy personal effort finally melted through touching the ground and he melted into the earth. No more powerful yogi. And then the earth, rather than witnessing this powerful yogi and saying, yes, powerful yogi, you can attain the way, then the earth, excuse the expression, resurrected these ashes

[16:54]

and made a Buddha for us. So now we got a Buddha made by the earth out of the refuge of a person who thought he was going to attain the way. But a great teacher came to him and said, who do you think you are, kid, that you can attain the way? And the message got to him and there was release. And then because there was release, the materials of life were available to be refashioned into this great, wonderful being. And then there follows many stories, particularly Zen stories, of Zen teachers going up to these great yogis and say, what are you doing?

[18:02]

What do you think you're doing there? Sitting there. And the teachers helping them also melt into the earth and letting the earth use their body to help all beings. to let themselves be held and reformed into whatever helps people. So, the old picture was a beautiful picture of this wonderful yogi sitting there upright, touching the earth and having, in some sense, that tremendous, what do you call it? What's the word? Is it catonic? Is that the word that they use? Huh? Huh? Cathartic? No, it's not cathartic. Huh? It's the word for earth. Huh? Not tectonic, but that's good too.

[19:04]

Anyway, there's a word, there's a word, something like cathonic, which means the energy of the earth. And the image I used to have more was like, you sit there, he touches the earth, says, and the earth just... comes up and encompasses him and supports him, and he can accomplish the way with that support. Now I have this other vision which is a little harder to see, but I'm working on it. Now, after Buddhahood, now you have the great Mara, who's there to help us and test us, to poke at us and try to put, you know, smother us and smother us and smother us so we can sit up and say, clearly I'm getting smothered. So we can, you know, develop some skill. But now we also have the Buddha. And then, but now we got the Buddha and everybody likes the Buddha. So after some period of time, Mara comes to the Buddha and said, okay, okay, man, here, now I've helped you.

[20:09]

I put you up and, you know, I got you to be Buddha. You know, I've helped you out and everybody likes you. And they all think I'm a bum. Nobody gives me any credit for this. I'm quit. I'm not gonna do this anymore. They say I'm causing all kinds of trouble and you're all so helpful. And Buddha said, well, I can see you got a hard job, but what about me? Here I'm started being all helpful and they don't do what I ask them to do either. At least you get to cause them some trouble. But then I tell them what to do and they won't follow the instructions. But I'm not going to quit anyway. Because I can't because that's what I am. I just continue to keep being born from the earth of these suffering beings. So I'm not going to quit and you can't quit either. Too bad. So Mars is still working. Buddha is still working.

[21:11]

We're still being challenged. We're still being offered things which we say, no, this is not helping me. This is not helpful. This is not helpful, and this is not helpful. That would be helpful, but that's not what's happening. Now, if you switch over and be that way, that would be helpful. And then what sometimes Mara does is says, oh, you want me, that would be more helpful? So then you switch over to what you think is helpful. Anyway, Mara's still helpful, still there for us, and so is Buddha. Okay, so I said I would do it, so I'll do it. Just think about it. Well, it's kind of like this. In this meditation of training the attention to meet whatever happens with no grasping, which equals complete relaxation, non-attachment, letting go of judgments.

[22:21]

letting go of planning, letting go of selecting, letting whatever you see just be what you see. And that type of training of the attention, whenever a concept arises, you let that concept just be that concept. When in the present the concept of present arises, you let the concept of present just be the concept of present. When the concept of future arises, you let the concept of future just be the concept of future. When the concept of past arises, when the images of past arise, when the images of future arise, when the images of things that need to be done in the future arise, when the images of things that need to be done in the present arise, no matter what comes, no matter what concepts present themselves, you meet them. and then relax. Your job's done. It isn't that you meet them and then go to work. You meet them and relax. You meet them and don't make anything of it. You don't improve it.

[23:24]

You don't complicate it. You're like unemployed. But you're unemployed in the meeting. Actually, this is your employment. And this opens you to the realm where you realize your true relationship with all beings. In other words, you realize how you're helping them and they're helping you. In this state of realization, now you can complicate things if you want to. Now you can start using your concepts to build relationships. vast palaces, huge empires of thoughts, ideas. You can plan, you know, infinitely. But this planning is coming from feeling all beings support you do it and doing it to support all beings.

[24:27]

You're not doing it so that your company will beat the other company. You're not keeping your imagination to yourself until it's patented. You're not waiting carefully and listening to other people's ideas and stealing them and incorporating them into yours and then getting them out. You're not doing that. You're working for the welfare of all beings because all beings are working for your welfare. You understand that. Now you can start using your imagination. Like I was saying to Johan the other day, like I think maybe he thinks he wants to go back to Sweden. Right? Some day. He likes Sweden in the winter. He wants to go skiing. So he thinks he has to plan, you know, like how to get to the airport. Well, he doesn't. Unless he's attached to going to Sweden at some particular date. Then he might think, well, who's going to get me there if I don't, you know? This practice of, the practice which will open you to the open seals, to the open seal samadhi,

[25:32]

This practice means that you give up planning. You give it up. You give it up, period. You don't do it. Now, when you start doing it again, you can just say, okay, I don't want to do this practice. Okay, fine. But the practice is you actually give up planning. You give it up. And as I mentioned to you on, We do not need one more greedy, confused person making plans. We do not need one more deluded person making plans to get themselves on airplanes for the holidays. We do not need that. We got plenty already. You know, the airports are packed with them. Now, even the airlines probably don't want any more. They're going on strike, you know. They're saying, we're not going to, you know, this flight's canceled, we don't want you, you can't go. So you make plans, they cancel.

[26:36]

Until you're enlightened, you don't need to make any more plans. Because any plan you make prior to that is a diversion from your work. And probably, very likely, to be harmful. very likely because you're deluded. Now, it's somewhat helpful, you know, for you to also cause harm because then you get to see yourself cause harm and other people get to see how harmful you are. So it's somewhat helpful. But basically, we don't need any more of that help. Thank you. But if you give it, we'll say thank you for that too. So really, once you're enlightened, however, then planning to go to the airport is like a great, you know, it's Buddha land building. Everything you think will be helpful. And to think on top of think on top of think and complicate your thinking, everything is just unfoldment of this flower.

[27:44]

So creativity will be very useful. So after the Buddha like melts into the ground, and we're talking about total meltdown, it isn't like bringing certain conceptual systems with you into the ground. They're all completely released. Then the Buddha reappears in the world and then the Buddha says, you know, whatever, you know, man, I mean, here I am. And then what people say, what do you have to say? He said, well, we got the ocean seal samadhi and we got these oceans of oceans bumping into oceans of oceans of oceans inside of oceans of oceans of oceans. And people say, what are you talking about? I say, well, you don't get this? Okay, well, how about this? There's a truth of suffering. There's a truth that suffering has conditions. There's actually also, because of this, an end of suffering, and there's a path to it. It's an eightfold path. The first step is, and so on. This is conceptual work. The Buddha is just bubbling with concepts all over the place which help people, you know. Just bubbling out, and everything's helpful.

[28:51]

Because it's coming from the Ocean Seal Samadhi. So there is a time for creativity, and there's creativity prior to enlightenment and after. There's a difference in its helpfulness. So please, do us a favor, enter the Ocean Seal Samadhi, and then start making plans. Prior to that, please just work on entering the Samadhi, as much as you can do that. And if you can't, you say, okay, I give up, I can't, I've got to make a plan. Okay, okay. But like take Yuhan, for example, if I may use you as an example, if he doesn't make any plans and he just like stays in his endo here, you know, indefinitely, you know, we'll eventually come in here and get him. You know, and say, come on, Yuhan, would you please wash dishes? Come on. He'll say, okay. But he doesn't have to plan to say okay. Say, would you wash dishes? Okay. Just, you know. By the way, would you wash dishes?

[29:54]

Yeah, see, that's, he's got, it's okay. He's cool. And we say, hey, Johan, come here. Come here. Come over here. Pick up the telephone. He said, okay. Now, would you please dial United Airlines? I know you want to go home. And that guy told you not to plan, but would you please just dial United Airlines? He said, okay. What's the number? Blah, blah, blah, blah. He dialed. He said, hello. Now tell him that you want to go to Sweden, would you please? Okay, I want to go to Sweden. Okay, thank you. And then, you know, and I said, well, what did they say? They said, well, they booked me and I have a flight at such and such time. I said, okay. And then when the time comes, I said, the day it's coming, I said, Yuan, you're leaving today? He said, are you going to the airport today? I said, yeah. What time are you going? He said, the flight's at 12. What time are you leaving for the airport? I don't know.

[30:58]

What time is it now? It's eight. Maybe ten would be good. How are you going to get there? I don't know. Then we'll give them a ride. You don't have to plan. You don't have to plan. You don't have to plan. You do not have to plan. But if you want to, go ahead, if you're enlightened. And it'll be just fine. And if you're not, why don't you get enlightened? You've been planning all this time up to this point in your life. You've been planning day after day after day. You know, it's been okay. It's not that bad. Because it's part of what got you to the point of being ready to enter into the Ocean Seal Samadhi. So I'm not criticizing your past life. It's been a wonderful life. But now, are you ready to enter into and be the Ocean Seal Samadhi? And then, let the Ocean Seal Samadhi take care of your flight plans.

[32:17]

It can do it. It has been doing it all along. It's just been ignoring it. It's been sitting outside the door of the reality. So is there anything more on creativity you want to hear about? Does that pretty much take care of it? Thank you. Yes? Yes? Are they pratyekabuddhas? I suppose. I suppose. A Buddha that's enlightened by conditions rather than a Buddha It's not really a full, it's not a regular Buddha, it's like an enlightened person, but not like a Buddha Buddha. But somebody who, it's somebody who, what do you call it, has, understands emptiness and so on, just like a Buddha, but they're not a Buddha, because they don't have, you know, they didn't like invent Buddhism on their own.

[33:38]

But they understand what Buddha found out, just that they found out because they're in the same world as the Buddha. but they didn't even hear it from the Buddha. They just got it from being, they got contact enlightenment And then there's the other group, which are called disciples, and they get enlightened by directly hearing. So in some sense, the Pratyekabuddhas are considered to have better sense organs because they can hear the teaching without being like within earshot of the Buddha or eyeshot of the Buddha. So the disciples and the Pratyekabuddhas, they actually had their enlightened beings, but they got enlightened by the Buddha. Whereas the Buddha didn't get enlightened by the Buddha. The Buddha got enlightened just by the samadhi. However, the Buddha has known past Buddhas, which told Buddha, you know, that you're going to be a Buddha and all that. Well, it's getting late, and I

[34:45]

Sometimes I have nothing to say, but I have just so many songs to sing and so many things I'd like to talk to you about, but I also understand that it might not be the right time to bring these things up. The main thing I want to tell you is I have come here to play. I've come here to play judo. I've come here to play the gentle way. And I'm not saying that I'm a skilled player of the gentle way, but I am here to play it. I actually am. And I'm here to play it with you guys. So that's basically what I want to say. But I also want to say other stuff because I'm sort of, like I say, I've been taken over by the Buddha ancestors, so I just say that stuff. But really, that's not really my main thing. And actually, I intend that kind of stuff I was talking about as a way to play with you under these circumstances.

[35:51]

But when it's not like this, I don't play like that. And I mean, I don't talk about that stuff when I'm not sitting on this seat. I keep it to myself, like a lot of jokes that I'm not telling. So I'm here to play. And this is the play. Do you see it? Do you see the play? You know what Wang Bo said?

[38:31]

He said, if you travel like this, how will you have to do it? You're a bunch of dreadsopers. Open your hat. You've got to go out there and stretch your back. Yes, you need. What do they seem to be happening? What do they seem to be happening? What do they seem to be happening? What does this mean? The whole world. What about the mountain and the rainbow? What about it? How is it? How is it? It's touching your eyes.

[39:37]

Where does it go? It goes into touching the diatom. And massages it because it's touching the diatom. Well, when I was a little boy, I didn't know that was the problem, so I just figured they were paralyzed, like a drenched local. It was a real problem, yeah. Well, because of you, we could be careful. He was just really attached to his dad, it was all right. Is that simple? See?

[40:40]

Sometimes it's simple. Do you want to be scared? I'm going to do a scary play. Are you scared? Are you scared? No. I'm not going to look around. No. Do something. Do something. I'm going to do something? Yes. So, doing the spirit is fun.

[41:49]

I'm using the thing, sir. I haven't heard of anybody who thought that the inquiry was boring. Can you come up here? Are you coming to play? What? What? Maybe. Secrets are written on the shelves.

[42:50]

Mm-hmm. Well, they're also written on the gravel path. Yeah, they are. Have you seen him? I've not seen him. So what? I've seen him twice. Two times. And if you sneeze three times, I'll see him three times. And the times are out. I hope you're there. I'll bring him a handkerchief. All right. What is it for? I was going to ask you, but where did it come from?

[43:52]

Richard Baker gave it to me. What? What is it for? You take it and you reach up in the air. See the hook on your arm? And you hook it out into the Buddha's mind. And you pull it into the room. And he would shake them off and play with them. And the tassel, I told some of you about this tassel already, didn't I? Do you know about this tassel? This tassel is from the scratch. some, you know, macrame knots in it, some infinity knots, and it's got big carmelian discs, donuts, and a little board.

[44:58]

And it was given to me by a woman named Connie Lewis, who was one of the early students of Ben's Center. And she was down to do it with me. And she came to Zen Center, and talk of sitting because the ball-headed man really sucks it. So she really liked to sit in meditation with Siddiqui Rati. Thank you very much. And then when the Zen Center started to grow, for some reason or other, she drifted away from Zen Center. I don't even know why. But then, after about, I don't know, if she'd been away, I saw her when I first came to Zen Center, and then maybe like 15 or 20 years later, somebody came and told me she was sick, and she wanted a priest. She wanted a bald man to come visit her in the hospital.

[46:01]

And she was sick. She had really life-threatening asthma. And she had some problems adjusting and relaxing with what was coming. But she was very happy to see a young, bald man, relatively young, doing her. And when I got there, she asked me to count the heart rate for my ability. And I kept visiting her at the hospital. And then at a certain point, I said, would you like to move to Zen singing? And she said, I'm fine about it. And I told her about it. And so she said, yeah, I would. And I went back to Zen singing. I said, would it be all right if you play the new Zen singing? And she said, OK, if you move to Zen singing. And she also liked very much jazz music and jazz piano.

[47:05]

So we gave her a room in the cart ride at the city center. And she also got to see the building that we brought her up in. So she got up to her room and she said, I got this beautiful room by the courtyard. There's a piano downstairs, and I had ball-headed men taking care of me. I'm so happy. And then I went downstairs, and I did some stuff, and came back upstairs, checked on me, and she had died. So now I have this. Why did you say that? Father, I say, Richard Baker gave me respect. This is giving me respect. Oh, she gave you a cross? She gave me a cross. This is a necklace. So she gave this to me. And Richard Baker gave me respect. Two of the early disciples of John Simon.

[48:11]

Pardon? I think I've dug into these things. What's up? One thing about playing judo is you don't play with somebody across the room. You play up close. You touch each other. And you move together. Hey, dude! You didn't climb it, did you? I didn't. I want to know what it feels like to be hit with the stick.

[49:20]

I'm wondering if you'd do that. Matt, would you show me how to receive it? Jesse, would you go get the stick, please? Behind the altar. Is the stick behind the altar? Yeah. A vestige from a former dynasty. Now, I should ask, you know, is this going to be something that somebody can't meet? To watch him, to see this bit? Is it too much for anybody? Too much for you? Huh? I'm sorry. and the shoulder tends to go a little bit okay so as you said being hip brings out the worst in people are you ready for the worst in Michael to be brought out are you ready for the worst in yourself to be brought out huh what who's ready for it are you ready for it Michael no bring it on okay okay usually you turn around

[50:21]

Yeah, and relax. Lean forward a little bit. Put your head over that way. It's kind of hard. Let me move over a little bit. The other way. And then put your head the other way. I get it. Thank you. As I said last night, I think the spirit was funny about this, but I hope it doesn't bother you.

[51:52]

But as I said to my wife last night, I have to say, I mean, I love this religion. It's so playful and silly. It can be anything, whatever, you know. I love it. And, you know, it's possible that Buddha will come and bust us for having so much fun in this world of suffering. It's possible. But, you know, I hope he's ready for it. Overrated and mute, getting busted. With no comment. I went through the Ocean Sea of Somali. No reason to bust into it.

[52:53]

For having too much fun in this world of suffering. In this world of suffering, people can suffer. Right? They shouldn't be having a good time under these terrible circumstances. No, not that. I'm sure the people have heard it before, but will you tell us about the gun? What do you want to know about the gun? The whole story? Yes, I want to know the whole story, but maybe you don't have time to tell it all right now. Well, what part do you want to hear? Do you want to hear about when I first met the gun? I want to know what Benny really felt. You're right, because I've heard the details, but I haven't heard what was going on in the hall.

[54:09]

That's what I really want to know. What did you say, Fala? Fala? Do you want to know if I'm really a bad dude? No. What do you want to know? I want to know what was going on in your head. It's gone. I'm here now. Do I know what's going on in my head now? Yes. I don't know. You know what that is? I'm not. Are you meeting it?

[55:11]

Yeah. Are you drafting it? No. I'm not that too. And I don't have a gun yet. If somebody else did it, would you take them out of Zosia? Did what? Brandished a gun around Zosia. I did not brandish a gun. I just held a gun in my hand, pointed towards the earth, asking the earth to support me. All right. And the Earth did support me by putting me in jail. I was brought down to the ground.

[56:15]

I thought I could walk around San Francisco and enforce the law myself. But I was wrong. I'm not human, San Francisco. The police. They're like, what's up? So they put me down, on the ground, in the jail. I was humbled. Earth helped me come down from the lofty position. It's not necessarily pretty to be dropped down into the dirt, but it was just what I needed. So I'm still here to play. If I'd stayed up there much longer, I might not be here today. So if I can walk around, if I can walk around thinking that, who knows what I would've thought next I could do. But I gotta think, you know, got a little bit of an idea.

[57:26]

of my inflation with the help of the earth. So it didn't help me. But I did not raise the gun up and point it at anybody, but pointing it at the ground was pretty scary too, I guess. Especially since I had a shirt here. I've been carrying around since last night a very tiny impulsive piece of bossy behavior. And I would like to apologize to Patty for it. Thank you. Do you think you're going to go impulsive?

[58:29]

I hope so. I apologize. Could you do it, Patty? well uh this is not true or anything but I this is what I came for to play and I appreciate you playing with me and um My hope in life is that I can play with people and that I can be myself and play with people in a way that they are continuing to play with me. And I know that sometimes it gets rough and people sometimes get hurt and I sometimes get hurt and with me people sit down sometimes and get out of breath again. But my vow is that I will not ever leave anybody I can't say I don't make mistakes and hurt anybody.

[59:31]

But if I hurt anybody, or if I don't hurt anybody, I don't mean to stay there. So I'm afraid that sometimes people could get in front of me. To jump out of the ocean sea or something like that. So I thank you very much for playing with me and playing with each other. And that's enough for now. Is it? Is there anything you'd like to do? Play again. Play again. Play next time. Thank you. Could you do this? I don't know if you can hear me. Play, Maeve, come out and play with me. And bring her down the stairs or climb the apple tree. Slide down one way or the other, climb up the cellar hill.

[60:35]

And we'll be jolly friends forevermore. Hey! Maeve is in country.

[60:41]

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