Several people kindly let me know that they will not be able to be here tonight. I miss them, but I'm grateful that they told us the reasons. I appreciate it. And thank you all for coming. And I just want to say that as the thought comes to my consciousness of meeting with you, I feel joy. And I must admit, I had a little trouble being compassionate towards the pain of not being able to get the link. It was, you know, a little bit painful. It was painful, and I didn't fully embrace the pain of perhaps, you know, not being able to connect with you.

[01:00]

But here I am, and here you are. This medium is something that I am rather awkward with, and also awkward with how to relate different types of teachings with this kind of setup. And I appreciate you being patient with the awkwardness of it, if you feel it. So, we already talked a little bit about one of the verses, verse 46, but I wanted to again come back to verse 46 a little bit. And I think the translation you have says something like, In the non-existence of suffering, whatever suffering comes to the bodhisattva is due to compassion, terrifies them at first, but when deeply penetrated, it causes them delight.

[02:17]

So another translation of that first line, which is in the non-existence of suffering, it might be that when they have no personal suffering, when the bodhisattvas don't have personal suffering, whatever suffering comes to them is due to their compassion. And this suffering that comes to them, which is due to their compassion, at first terrifies them, but when it is deeply penetrated, it causes them extreme delight. So I wanted to bring up two points in this, again, I think we talked about it a little bit, I want to stress two points of this verse.

[03:28]

One is that, and many people have told me about this, and I think some of you have too. If for a moment, or whatever, you are free of personal suffering, and you're free of personal suffering because of your compassion, you're free of personal suffering when you're a fully compassionate being. And this fully compassionate being, due to the compassion, a suffering comes to them, a huge suffering, which some people, I've seen them open to this, this compassion for the world, and they often are terrified, or say they feel, you know, they're afraid they're going to be overwhelmed by it. And oftentimes I feel like, yeah, I can understand that it's terrifying, but it's a good sign.

[04:29]

It shows your opening, it shows your compassion is maturing, that you're opening and you can start to see a little bit more, or a lot more of the scale of the suffering that you're practicing compassion towards. So at first, when this huge suffering comes, it's terrifying. So, in a way, be warned that if you're practicing compassion, your reward may be a huge suffering coming to you due to your compassion, and it may terrify you. And the terror is because we have not yet deeply penetrated into the suffering. So the deep penetration into the suffering, when we keep embracing it, we come to a realization of the, what is it, the equality of self and other.

[05:49]

At the deep penetration of suffering, due to compassion, at the beginning there's still a sense of inequality between self and other, and then the suffering can seem overwhelming and terrify us. But if we keep practicing with it, there's the potential to penetrate it and realize a wisdom of equality, where you see the equality of you and all suffering beings. And then this suffering is extreme happiness. If we stay on the surface of this suffering, which comes by or through compassion, it's terrifying.

[07:05]

And then we start with the surface. As we penetrate deeply, we find the wisdom of equality, and then the suffering without the same suffering is great joy. And I would like just to pause here for a second and let all that sink in, or some of it. Last week we talked about the next verse, so I would like to pass over that one and go to verse 48.

[08:33]

And now we start this considerable discussion of the relationship between compassion and generosity. We're beginning to discuss the benefits of mercy-driven generosity, or compassion-driven generosity. The benefits of it, the amazing benefits. And I guess I also want to sort of, not exactly warn you, but kind of say that some, again, outrageous statements are coming, and you might be suspicious that the news is just too good to deal with.

[09:38]

And I'm not suggesting you right away believe what we're going to be reading, but I just want to let you know that when I first read this material, I thought this is just, are these bodhisattvas trying to sell us a bill of goods? Is this just too good to be true? So, verse 48 is, Generosity accompanied by compassion generates the joy of generosity in the bodhisattva. Generosity generates a joy. But it's the generosity accompanied by compassion that generates the joy of generosity in the bodhisattva.

[10:50]

Generosity accompanied by compassion provides the firm-hearted bodhisattvas with a happiness of generosity. And then there's the comment that the happiness that arises from the enjoyments belonging to the three realms does not equal a minute portion of this happiness. So, I would suggest a simple way to understand that would be that the happiness of the three realms is, for example, the happiness of generosity not accompanied by compassion. If we practice generosity without compassion, it still may be joyful.

[11:53]

However, it might not be. If we practice generosity without compassion, it is possible that we will not feel joy in practicing the generosity. Let me say that again. If we practice generosity without compassion, it may happen that although we're practicing generosity, because it's not accompanied by compassion, it might not be joyful. And even if it is joyful, then that joy of practicing giving, not accompanied by compassion, is the joy of the three realms. What is it?

[12:58]

It does not equal even a small portion of the joy that comes from practicing generosity accompanied by compassion. Practicing generosity not being accompanied by compassion is what we call mundane generosity. And again, it can be joyful, but also it can be miserable and annoying and frightening and even cause us to abandon beings because we practice generosity not with compassion. So, once again, this is talking about generosity accompanied by compassion. Generosity may or may not be accompanied by compassion.

[14:01]

Compassion is always, I say, compassion is always accompanied by generosity. Compassion is always accompanied by generosity, but generosity is not always accompanied by compassion. For example, yes, Charlie? May I ask a question? Yeah. So, usually when I hear us discuss generosity, it's in the context of, well, not usually, but I guess a lot of the time, it's in the context of the Paramitas. And I've heard that it's the first Paramita, and if you're going to start it somewhere, you can start with that one. But now I'm hearing a caveat. Well, you can start with that one, but if you do that one without generosity, then you might mess it all up.

[15:02]

And compassion is not one of the Paramitas. I mean, I suppose it permeates all of them. It's not one of the Paramitas, but strictly speaking, I would say the first four or five Paramitas are compassion. Generosity is compassion when you do it properly. But you may start practicing generosity without compassion. And similarly, the next Paramita of ethical discipline, you can practice that with or without compassion. Hopefully, we are practicing generosity with compassion. We are practicing ethical discipline with compassion. We are practicing patience with compassion. So, when you say the first four Paramitas are compassion, I don't know what you mean by are.

[16:14]

We play a lot with is and isn't. I would say when they're done. Let me turn it around the other way. Compassion is them. Compassion is generosity, ethics, patience, enthusiasm, etc. And concentration. However, it is possible to practice them without compassion, not accompanied by compassion. And then they're sort of not the Paramitas. It's possible to practice them not accompanied by compassion, but compassion is all four. So, if you're practicing all, it's possible to practice all four of them and compassion might still not be there? Yes, but compassion always includes those, but they don't necessarily include compassion.

[17:16]

For example, you could give a gift to someone and not be interested in listening to their suffering. They call out to you and you hand them a gift, but you don't look at them. I think we have this experience, right? People are begging on the streets. You give them money, but you don't look in their face. You don't like, or you know, you don't like really embrace their suffering, which is coming up a verse or two from now. You give them a gift, but you're not really like they're, they're not, you're not cherishing their life. Even though you're doing a good thing, and you might feel joy when you give them the gift. But also you might, you might be angry at them if they don't say thank you. Or if they ask for more. Or even if they say, you didn't give me enough. It's possible to give in that way and regret that you gave it.

[18:22]

But if you, if, if you give a gift accompanied by compassion, you will not regret it. It will be joyful. And if the person doesn't thank you, or even ask for more, or tell you as your stingy is still joyful to you. And you practice compassion towards their lack of appreciation. And you practice generosity towards their lack of appreciation. And you might give them more. Who knows? And the same with the precepts, you can practice them without compassion. And then if, if you don't follow them, you can get angry at yourself and be mean to yourself. Or if somebody else that you're practicing the precepts with, it doesn't follow them. You could like feel like I don't care about them or whatever. But anyway, now we're focusing on generosity and it is possible to give a gift. And again, if you, if I give a gift without compassion, I might feel joy.

[19:23]

But with compassion, I definitely will. And it will surpass the joy that I, I receive when I give a gift without compassion. And again, if I give a gift without compassion, sometimes it will not be joyful. I will even maybe get, have ill will towards the person I gave it to. Or another possibility is, I give a gift to someone without compassion. And, and I noticed somebody else is not giving them a gift. And I may feel ill will towards that person because I didn't give my gift out of compassion. And the same with the other, all of, all of the precepts really are. I mean, all of the perfections are really compassion, including wisdom.

[20:26]

The wisdom of the six perfections is compassion. It's a compassion wisdom. It's not just insight. It's compassionate insight. However, it's possible to have insight without compassion. It's not deep insight. But you can have insight without compassion. And you can have generosity. You can have all those perfections that, without compassion, but they're not really perfections then. So how do we make sure, how do I make sure I have compassion? I think compassion gives up trying to make sure that, that, that you have, my, me practicing compassion includes giving away being sure. One of the things you give away is being sure. I used to be sure and I donated that to Charlie. And then he gave it away. Compassionate beings are not attached to being sure that they're compassionate.

[21:27]

However, they're okay because they're full of joy of the practice. They don't need to be sure of anything. However, they'd have deep faith in the practice and they'd have deep joy in the practice. So again, this Karika 48 is, and I wrote my comment on this, I just said to you, my comment on Karika 48 is compassion is always accompanies, I mean, compassion is always accompanied by generosity. There's no compassion circulating in the universe without generosity. But there is a kind of mundane generosity that's not accompanied by compassion. It's still good. It's better than stealing. But, and it, but again, it's not always joyful.

[22:30]

But the generosity accompanied by compassion is not only joyful always, it is a totally uplifting and inspiring and joyful happiness. And again, there are other kinds of happiness. And, you know, we, I don't want to put them down, just put them in context that they're wonderful, but they do not, they're not in the same realm as the great joy of compassionate giving. Okay. Okay, so I was kind of, what my plan was tonight was to talk about a few verses and then just pause a little bit. And, and then do, and I'd like to do a couple more. Just present them and say a little bit and pause, present a little bit and pause, and then open up.

[23:39]

Okay. So the next one is about accepting suffering. And many of you are familiar with the three pure precepts. And the third, the three pure bodhisattva precepts, and the third pure bodhisattva precept is to embrace and sustain living beings. And it means, you know, working up to embracing and sustaining all living beings. So that third bodhisattva pure precept is kind of related to this verse. Which says, I think what you have is through mercy, through mercy, through mercy, for the sake of living beings, they, those bodhisattvas, do not even forsake the life cycle, which is made up of suffering.

[24:50]

And the life cycle is also called samsara. By means of mercy, for the sake of living beings, they do not forsake samsara, which is of the nature, which is by its nature, it's suffering. And the next part, what suffering will the compassionate bodhisattva not embrace in order to accompany, in order to accomplish the benefit of others? Another way, out of compassion, for the sake of living beings, they do not forsake the suffering by which transmigrational life is constituted. What suffering for the benefit of others will the compassionate ones not embrace?

[25:55]

So my comment on this is that I propose that until we fully embrace samsara, we will not be able to realize that samsara and nirvana are not different. And also, I suggest that such compassionate full embrace facilitates entering into nirvana and not clinging to it. So this kind of compassionate embrace of all suffering opens the door to a life of peace, which we don't cling to. And when we enter it and don't cling to it, we have the opportunity to realize that it is the same as the life of suffering.

[27:04]

And vice versa, if we do not open to all suffering, we still, some beings may open to some suffering and be able to enter into a certain kind of nirvana. But the Buddha's nirvana is entered by complete opening to all suffering, as is spoken of here. What suffering will they not embrace? Well, there's no suffering they won't embrace, and so they can enter nirvana, but they don't stay there. And also, they realize through this practice, the identity of the world of suffering and the world of peace and bliss. And if we can handle one more, this is about the growth of compassion and its fruits.

[28:08]

Compassion, number one. Generosity, number two. And fortune, number three. Increase for the merciful bodhisattva. And from and therefrom comes a happiness born of love, a happiness born of helpfulness, and a happiness born of the powerful ability to assist beings. Compassion, generosity, and wealth always increase for the compassionate one.

[29:14]

From this, from what? From this compassion, generosity, and wealth come the happiness of three kinds. Happiness born of love, happiness born of assistance and helping, and happiness produced by the capacity to help. So again, for people practicing compassion, the compassion grows by repeated practice of compassion. Generosity grows by the force of compassion, and wealth grows by the force of generosity. Once again, the compassion grows by repeatedly practicing compassion. Generosity grows by the power of compassion or the force of compassion, and fortune or wealth grow through or from generosity.

[30:28]

And then those three lead to three kinds of happiness. And so I want to pause now after that. One more additional thing I would like to add is that wealth or fortune can mean money. It can be like in Japan in the medieval era, the wealth that people had was rice. So wealth can be rice. Wealth also can be salt. Wealth can be health. Wealth can be energy. Wealth can be having a house. Wealth can be having a farm. Wealth and fortune are things that come to the bodhisattva who practices compassion. All this kind of wealth, health, material and spiritual wealth comes to them, which they then use to benefit beings.

[31:38]

And also, I just mentioned the previous verse, a lot of suffering comes to them too. And again, if they embrace the suffering, then wealth comes. So I think maybe that's enough for tonight. And so now I would open up for discussion of whatever you want to discuss. I'm trying to make sense of this. And right now, what I'm thinking or feeling is that self-compassion for me, I think, is something that is very important.

[32:48]

I think it's very intrical to being able to do this at all, because I find that I disown parts of myself. My limited self, my habit energy for negative judge self, or just bad moments. I think that that's the doorway to being able to stay in a state of loving helpfulness. I disown it. That's Karka 49. What suffering will the compassionate bodhisattva not embrace in order to accomplish the benefit of others? So they will embrace your suffering. They will embrace mine. I will embrace mine. I will embrace yours. You will embrace yours. The compassionate one embraces her own suffering.

[33:49]

And she doesn't do that for no reason. She does it in order to accomplish the benefit of others. She does it in order to accomplish the benefit of others. She takes care of herself, not just for herself, but for others. So yes, you do, really, as a bodhisattva. You embrace your own suffering. There's no suffering you do not embrace. And you embrace it all for the welfare of others. And you're included. So yes, yes, yes. And like I just mentioned to you, I had some suffering around this computer not working. And so, you know, it was hard to be right there and embrace that suffering. But I actually, I kind of recovered and I did embrace it. And yeah, and here I am. I did not. Because of you, I did not run away from the computer and give up.

[34:52]

I kept working with the suffering of the computer not connecting me. And I contacted Gay with the cell phone. And then I got another computer. I did all that. I embraced that earlier suffering and later suffering to benefit you. And it also benefited me not to run away. So please, embrace your suffering for us. So I have to love the part of me that isn't a bodhisattva. Yes, yes. Well, pain, in a way, you could say pain isn't a bodhisattva. Pain is something the bodhisattva has compassion towards. And also, the Karka says the ones who don't have any personal pain, because of their compassion, they have all this pain comes to them.

[35:56]

The reason why they don't have personal pain is because they practice compassion towards their personal pain. And if you take really good care of your personal pain, then you'll get a huge ocean of other people's pain. To reward you. Thank you. You're welcome. Rev? Yes? I'd like to unpack the idea when the suffering is penetrated deeply that it leads to delight. And that particularly penetrating the suffering deeply leads to the realization of the equality of self and other. So when I think of what it means to deeply penetrate the suffering, I'm guessing that you're becoming intimate with the nature of the suffering,

[37:01]

the causes and conditions of the suffering. Is that part right? So you get this special kind of suffering, okay? It's a special kind. It's a very auspicious kind of suffering. It's a suffering that comes to you because you feel compassion for beings. Right. So here comes this special suffering. It's very auspicious suffering. Auspicious is conducive to awakening this suffering. The suffering that comes to us from personal concern and selfishness, we should be compassionate to that, but it's not so auspicious as the suffering that comes to us because we cherish and want to protect others. So here comes this special suffering. The suffering that comes to compassionate beings. And at first, because it's so huge, it terrifies them.

[38:06]

But if they continue to practice with it, they go deeper into it. And as they go deeper into it, they notice, they're not going in deeper into it to try to get something. They're just more fully embracing this new suffering. And as they get into there, they start to notice, hey, you know what? I think I'm different from her. I think, actually, I don't see that Pan's equal to me. Or I'm equal to her. Oh, that's not what's causing the suffering for me, but that's what's terrifying me. So it's thinking that we're separate that's terrifying you? Yeah, it's also, it's thinking that we're separate, which is similar to not seeing that we're not. So again, this is a special situation, right?

[39:09]

This is for people who are practicing compassion. Then they get this special gift of this suffering, which is huge. And again, I see people when they meet this, they often want, they think, I'm going to get overwhelmed. They don't want to deal with this. It's terrifying. So they need a lot of encouragement because this is a good, this suffering is coming because you care about people. It's not the overwhelm that used to come to you when you were self-concerned, and then various kinds of suffering comes to you because of that. This is coming to you because you really care about beings. Okay, here it is. However, I'm terrified of it. And this text is already telling you what the problem is. It's telling you that although it's come, which is good, you haven't deeply penetrated. You haven't deeply entered it. As you deeply enter it and get more familiar with it, you notice, you will maybe notice that you do not have the wisdom of equality.

[40:13]

And that's what's frightening, that's what's terrifying you. So this gift of all this suffering is something which we're terrified of. We want to relax with it and enjoy it. We want to now really embrace it. It comes as a gift. And in order to embrace it, we need to have joy. And the joy comes when we realize that all these other beings are equal to us. And that comes to us as we try to embrace this terrifying suffering. Of all beings. Okay. In that process, repeatedly, and the next Karak is about the compassion grows if you repeatedly practice it. So you practice compassion and you get this gift of this huge suffering. Then you get the gift of terror,

[41:16]

which is actually telling you, you're not deep enough. And then you practice with the terror and the suffering again and again, and you go deeper and deeper. And then your generosity grows and so on. And you go deeper. And then when you actually realize that these beings, that this ocean of suffering that you thought was going to wipe you out, that each one of those beings, all of the different sufferings are no different from you. Then you're not terrified anymore. I just wonder why would that make you not terrified? Why would that bring you joy? You say, why would that not make you terrified? Why would that relieve the terror to see that we're not separate? Yeah, well, I think you have to go there and find out. Yeah, I guess so. I got to the terrifying part.

[42:19]

This text is telling you, telling you, if by any chance, you practice compassion and you're not so self-concerned about yourself anymore, you take good care of yourself and you're not actually suffering very much or not at all, maybe. And then because of your compassion, you get this really big gift. Like I often say to people, if you see somebody curled up in a ball in the corner, you don't bring them more problems. But if you see somebody just walking around, they seem to be relaxed and not troubled, you think, oh, maybe I'll bring my problems to that person. And if that person really is free of compassion, free of suffering and practicing compassion, a lot of people will bring it to them. But even before they bring it, the person may notice, oh my God, there's an ocean of suffering. And at first, you will be terrified. And then in the terror,

[43:21]

if you don't turn away from that and practice compassion with the terror, now you've got the terror plus all the suffering, you're practicing compassion with that, you will go deeper. And you will notice the reasons that you're afraid. There's still some little bit of separation between you and the different elements in this enormous suffering, which you are open to. And also there's a little maybe... Anyway, there's some sense that you're not equal to these beings. And as you embrace all this suffering, you wake up to that you're equal to it all. And then the suffering is a delight. And equal... The same suffering is now a delight. It doesn't change. It is a delight of that same suffering because you realize the reality that you're the same as everybody.

[44:22]

Okay. The way to realize that is this wonderful job of embracing the suffering that comes to you because you're compassionate. Of course, you should practice compassion towards the suffering that comes to you because you're selfish. If that were ever there. We should practice compassion with that too. But if you gave up all that up, for a moment even, the reward would be this huge... And I've seen it. This huge suffering comes to people and they just want to... They just are terrified. And I said, this is a good sign. Now let's work with this. And again, the more you... Again, the compassion grows. How does it grow? By repeated practice. And the generosity grows by the power of the compassion. And the generosity accompanied by compassion is joyful.

[45:23]

So the generosity and the wealth and the compassion are growing so they can deal with this enormous suffering and penetrate to its core. And in the core of it, maybe you could say, in the molten core of it, we realize there really isn't a separation between us and any suffering beings. Thank you. You're welcome. Jiayu. Hi, Rhett. Hello. I was going to ask maybe exactly the same question as Pen just did. And so your dialogue really was very helpful to me. And I wanted to still ask

[46:26]

or still share my understanding from what you just said and what it makes me think of. Because my original question was, can you unpack the word equality? I wonder what that meant. And I was wondering if that meant unity or something like oneness. And what you were just elaborating on makes me think of the process of the eagle dying in the practice of compassion and taking on that suffering or practicing compassion in the midst of suffering and realizing the core equality, like we are the same as all other beings. Is it like a process of the eagle or the separate self dying? Am I understanding this right?

[47:29]

You're not understanding me right. I'm not saying that when we do this practice, the eagle dies. I think we read it. The previous paragraph, the previous verse says they forsake, they do not forsake the world of samsara. They do not forsake egocentric beings. They don't forsake them. And also they don't forsake their own egocentric being. And because they don't forsake their own egocentric selfish being, because of that, they become free. And their compassion is not just for themselves,

[48:34]

which have just freed them from their egocentric mind. Without forsaking it, without killing it, without pushing it away, it's still there. But they're not clinging to it anymore. And then the reward is an ocean of egocentric suffering comes to them. And then they can show people how you can have an ego and still welcome an ocean of suffering. And how you can have an ego and not forsake any egocentric being or try to get rid of the egocentric beings. This compassion is not trying to get rid of egos. It's not trying to get rid of self-centeredness. It is embracing the suffering that accompanies that. And it's not so much oneness

[49:39]

as non-separation. Because the difference is maintained. The uniqueness of each being is what they are. Their own particular virtues and troubles. And that suffering being includes all other suffering beings and all Buddhas and all Bodhisattvas. Every moment of egocentric consciousness includes all other beings. And this practice is to wake up to that teaching. That's very important. I think Shakyamuni Buddha had, some people think, had a big ego. And I think Shakyamuni Buddha had a big ego all the way to the end. And he totally was not caught up in it. And he just used his ego as a gift. And he didn't get rid of anybody else's ego either. He taught beings who have egos how to practice compassion.

[50:44]

He taught beings who have egos how to be Buddhas. That's what I'm saying. I'm very glad that I asked the question. I'm glad you asked too. Thank you. You're welcome. Yes. Good evening. Good evening. So, during the last week or two, I found myself in a situation where the tendency of my mind to worry got really activated around situations that people that I know are in. And I just was worrying. And there's nothing I can do about those situations. My worry was not doing me or them really any good.

[51:45]

It's not really helpful. But it was there. And so this morning I thought, well, I'll bring this up in class. And then while I was sitting, I had this thought about, maybe you could just give your worry to the Buddhas. And they can take care of it. And so, you know, I sort of tried to make my sitting into an offering of my worry to the Buddhas. And it was helpful. And yet I think, well, that's not such a great gift. I mean, they can handle it, but it's not a great gift. Give that too. Give that opinion to the Buddhas too. Okay. I mean, please give it to them. And you said something like,

[52:47]

I think you said something like, I had the thought of giving my worry to the Buddhas and letting them take care of it. And when you said that, I thought, well, they already are. They already are taking care of your worry. But when you give it to them, then you realize reality. Hey, here, Buddha, take care of my suffering. Take care of my worry, because you already are, right? And the Buddhas say, yeah. And you say, it's not a very good gift. And they say, well, that's all I work with. I've got nothing other than people's worries and fears. It's not like it's a good gift. This is my business, is to take care of your worry. And if you're not worried, I'll take care of that too. Whatever you are, give it to Buddhas so they can take care of it, so you can realize that they're already doing that. But now you're joining them. They're already taken care of.

[53:50]

So now you're tuning in to the Buddha activity. So yeah, please, don't get rid of your worry, because that's a gift for the Buddhas. If you get rid of your worry, you're taking your worry away from the Buddhas. Give me that worry. You can't have that worry. I'm going to take it and put it someplace else. No, no. Join them. Put your gentle hands around the worry and hand it back and forth with the Buddhas. Well, that brings up for me the question of prayer and ritual, because I think part of that was, you know, saying to the Buddhas, Please help me. Please help my friends. I don't know what to do. Well, Buddhas are praying all the time. Buddhas are praying all the time, you know,

[54:52]

that you will join the unsurpassed way and attain Buddhahood soon. That's what they're praying all the time. So you can pray too, and then you're like a Buddha. You can say you're praying to Buddha, but you're praying like a Buddha. Buddhas are praying. They're wishing. They're wishing, wishing, wishing that all beings will become Buddha, and their job is to accept each of us as we are, and teach us how to do the same. If I can accept how I am, moment after moment, I'm doing the same thing Buddha does with me. And again, if I accept this overwhelming suffering, I'm doing exactly what Buddha does with the overwhelming suffering. And if I can't, then Buddha is right with me

[55:53]

not being able to yet, or being terrified. And do you think that that incidentally helps those friends who are in difficult situations at the same time? You could say incidentally, or you could say it's exactly the same as them being helped. The way it helps you to give your worries and sufferings to Buddha, the way that helps you, and helps you realize that you're working with Buddha, that's exactly the same way that you're helping them. They're helped in exactly the same way. Equal. It's equal. And as you enter this practice, you penetrate to realizing the equality of taking care of yourself, and taking care of others. Or the equality of you and others in the process of compassionate care.

[56:54]

And this is very difficult. That's very difficult to understand because you can't see it. And many people say to me, I can see how this practice is helping me, but I don't see how to help people I can't see. And that's a tough one. But somebody's telling us that it is helping people you can't see. But also, you can practice with people you can see. Like, I can see you, and I just encourage you to practice with your worry, you know. And I supported you and your thought of giving your wonderful gift of worry to the Buddhas. I can see that. But me helping you also helps all beings. That's the hard part. And it seems like you're saying that it happens simultaneously. You could say simultaneously, and you also could say simultaneously. It's happening at the same time

[57:57]

in the same place. And then if you change people, then you do it with them. Thank you. You're welcome. This is the Lotus Sutra. And the Lotus Sutra says, this is the one I want to play. I have done that. Okay. You can have it. This is the most difficult thing. I don't want it. Yeah. I see Tracy, and I'm hearing some other mumbling. Anyway, Tracy, yes? I would like to underscore a hard teaching or complex. It's like, oh, my goodness. And I'm loving it. And my mind's being blown, but I did get hooked. About half an hour ago, when you said something like, samsara and nirvana are not different. And I just like, what are you talking about? What could that possibly mean?

[59:01]

And I would love it if you could elaborate on that a little bit. It's just like, my mind can't even consider that possibility. If you can see that your mind's not considering the possibility, that's your way of considering the possibility. Okay, fine. So that's a tiny, mini, mini inch of the way. But what do you mean? What does that mean? The peaceful, compassionate Buddhas who have realized nirvana are always, at the beginning I said, what is it called? The compassion is equal and constant. So in their peace and nirvana, not even in there, their nirvana is

[60:02]

caring for beings. The content of their nirvanic awakening is caring for beings. The Buddha's peace and joy is caring for beings. So the beings, the suffering beings, and the caring for them are equal and inseparable. Well, I can't believe it. Yeah. You have a taste of not abandoning samsara. There's some elements of samsara you have not abandoned. That's a taste of not abandoning samsara. Now, if you were to not abandon any part of samsara, then you would enter nirvana. And as you enter nirvana,

[61:05]

which is peace and ease with the samsara, the next step would be you realize that they're the same. That you cannot have the compassionate regard of the Buddhas. You cannot have the compassionate Buddha without all suffering. You can't have the compassionate Buddha with just a little bit of suffering. With just a few suffering beings. Not to mention skipping over yourself. But including yourself. Buddha's compassion is embracing all suffering. That's nirvana. It's to be at peace with the world of suffering. I wouldn't have believed it possible that you could have... Without forsaking it. Okay. That's a superb explanation. Thank you. Thank you. And it's a little bit difficult

[62:05]

to embrace all suffering. But that's our huge job. So let's get with it. And again, see if we can do it equally. Equally, like a Buddha would. And then work up to constantly. And we may notice like I told you, I got a little... I forgot for a little while when I wasn't able to connect with the group earlier tonight. I missed a beat or two of being there with that pain of not being able to get the link. And if I was just one of the members of the class, it wouldn't have been so uncomfortable. But I think if I don't show up, it's kind of going to be painful for a lot of people. And that's painful for me. So there was the pain. But then I recovered and I embraced it. And, you know, did all this stuff. Picked up the cell phone, talked to...

[63:07]

Thank you very much. You're welcome. Hi, Rev. Good evening. I have a little story. I had an opportunity to practice compassion. And there were and are some bumps in the road. So I would like to share the story, if I may. May I share my story? So yesterday I was down downstairs working on my work and writing. And the doorbell rang and Jeff was not here. So I came upstairs and there was no one out the window of the door. So I opened the door and I looked out and there was a young man standing up the path. And he was very slim. And he said,

[64:12]

I'm not here to do anything bad in your neighborhood or to hurt you. And he had a rolled up thing of papers in his hand. And he said, I said, well, what are you here for? And he said, I don't think I said exactly that, but I said something along the lines of how can I help you? And he said, well, I aged out of foster care and now I'm selling these books for children. And it's a spiel I've heard before with other young people coming years ago. And I knew I wasn't going to buy his subscription to the books he was selling. And so I listened to his story and it was a really sad story and a really hard story. And he said, I usually wear a suit, but I didn't know it was going to be so hot here. And I was in Arizona. I'm from North Carolina. And he had a slight accent from North Carolina

[65:13]

and he said that if you just buy the books, then you can donate them. And I said, well, I'm not going to buy the books, but is there anything else I can do for you? Because he was articulate and I wanted to have the exchange. And then I noticed that he had holes in his socks. And I said, would you like a pair of socks? And he said, yes. And I said, is there anything else that I can get for you? And he said, do you have, I think he said, do you have any grub? And I said, excuse me. And he said, I said, oh, are you hungry? And he said, yes. And I said, do you like beans? Because I had just brought some leftovers home. And he said, yes. And I said, would you like them cold or do you want me to heat them up? So he said he wanted them warm. And I said, is there anything else? And he said, can I have some water? And I said, how about this?

[66:15]

Because I didn't want him just standing outside the door while I went in the house. I felt a little protective of myself. And so I said, how about this? You keep going around doing your job and you come back and I'll leave you a package and I'll put it in something you can carry. And what's your name? I'll put your name on it. And he said, Kwan, which I think is kind of cool because it's sort of like Kwan. But I said, great, I'll leave it free on the steps and we might not see each other. So I scurried off and went and made two big bags filled with some clothes that giveaway that we had in our giveaway things. And then I made, I put chips and cheese in and warmed up beans and a fork and a spoon. And I had in a giveaway lunch bag. And then I gave, I had like a coffee mug

[67:18]

that you can carry that I was giving away. So I filled it with ice and water and I left it on the stairs with a card. And the card that I took, I just took whatever card was in the place I keep the cup and it happened to be a thank you card. And I thought, yeah, this is giving me the opportunity to offer something to someone who really needs what I have and don't need. So I wrote him a thank you note. I just said, I hope these fit. And if they don't, you can give them, pass them along to people who may will and good luck on your journey. And I left them on the front steps and about 20 minutes after I'd left them, I looked and they were still there and I felt really bummed out. Like, oh, he didn't come back. And I thought, well, how do I deal with that? Because this whole time I was thinking

[68:19]

about my own compassion and like, what do I, am I needing something back for, is that just, am I, is this sentimental? Am I just being nice and wanting like, oh good, I did something good. And I thought, well, if that's the case, I'll deal with it, but I'll leave it till later because I don't need to take it in right now. And about an hour or more, time went by and I looked and it was gone. And so several things have come up for me since then. One, really trying to kind of grapple with that sentimental piece, like my ego, that wanting to have been helpful, wanting to know that I was helpful, which is a nice thing. It doesn't feel mean, but it's self aggrandizing or something. But then when you were talking about equal,

[69:20]

I certainly felt like he had a beautiful, interesting story. I didn't know if it was a true story or a story, a sales pitch story, but he was clearly hungry. He looked hungry, he was skinny and young and his socks had holes in them. And I knew that I had given him something useful, including food, but that feeling of equal, I still feel sad. Like I want to feed him more and I want to take away the pain. And I don't mean the suffering because his story is one of suffering so that I know enough in my experience that that doesn't go away. And I feel grateful because it was an opportunity

[70:21]

to exchange something meaningful in the middle of my day in a surprising way. But I'm not sure about the equal, not equal. And I feel like it's another step. I would like to hear your thoughts. The realization of the equality of you and that person is very profound. And Karka 50 is saying, if you keep practicing compassion, it will grow and grow and grow. And your reward for this growing is that you'll be able to help more people and be generous with more people. And that generosity will lead to more wealth

[71:23]

in terms of more ways to help people. And that all will make you ready to receive more and more suffering and go deeper and deeper into it. So I don't know if any of us in this class are going to realize actually the equality of self and others. But I think you are in the process, you're in the context of practicing compassion, of noticing, I think, these sentimentalities and disappointments, showing that you still haven't understood equality of self and other, which is also equality of picking it up or not picking it up. The equality of somebody else coming and taking it that you didn't put it out there for. All that is, if we're disturbed by that,

[72:24]

that shows us we haven't really penetrated to the deepest part of the suffering. But you're in the game. You're doing it. You're working on it. You're looking at it. You're questioning. And this is proposing that a certain level of insight is on the horizon for us. And you're in the environment where the insight is found. It felt a little bit, there was a part of me that felt like he was a monk, like from a, you know, he was asking with his bowl for food. The difference between him and a monk, though, is the monks aren't supposed to do sales pitches. No, they're not. But even if a monk did, we still should give to him or her. This was a monk with his sales pitch. He didn't need to give a sales talk. However, when he did it, you realize,

[73:25]

this is a human. He's an intelligent being. Even if he's not telling the truth, he's relating to me. And also, he looks like he needs something. And I don't want to buy the book, but I'm happy to share my food and clothes with him. So I actually feel joy about giving that to him. Compassion will make that generosity grow. And again, even though it's growing, as you practice it, you notice these little glitches. And then practice compassion with those. And in this way, the compassion grows, the generosity grows, the joy grows, and we open up more and more and go deeper and deeper. So maybe we haven't quite reached that point yet. Of full realization. We're on this path. This is telling us a little about where we're going.

[74:26]

Okay? Thank you. Hey, Rob. Good evening. I had a question. Going back to the conversation that you were having with Pam. You're talking about realizing that you don't understand equality and feeling that terror. Is that terror also the realization of all of the harm that you have done by not realizing equality and all the opportunities you've missed? And is the joy, the recognition that you have forever to atone for that? I would say it slightly differently. What you mentioned, I wouldn't call that the terror, but that's part of what's coming to you that's terrifying.

[75:27]

If we could see all the missed opportunities of our life came to us because we're compassionate, all those things coming would be a great gift. Bodhisattvas get to see all their missed opportunities come to them. Like in 12-step programs, people look at all the missed opportunities. They all come to them, and it's terrifying. So the thing you're talking about are more not those things aren't terrifying. Those things are the things we're terrified of. But now, if you take care of that terror, now you're not missing an opportunity. But if you look at all the times you missed the opportunity, that's like, oh my God, I missed out so many times. Oh my, wow, okay, all right.

[76:31]

Hey, maybe I'm practicing compassion because look what's coming. My karma is like showing itself to me, and it's like amazingly huge, and I'm scared. But I also read this text, this Bodhisattva text, which said this is part of the deal, is when you see your past flaring up in front of you, it can be terrifying. Okay, and now I'm going to practice compassion with that terror. The stuff has come, got the terror, practice compassion with the terror, and all this stuff. Practice compassion with all the missed opportunities. And practicing compassion with missed opportunities is a great artwork. You know, have you heard of Marcel Proust? From you.

[77:31]

Yeah, so his great masterpiece is Remembrance of Things of Lost Time. You could say remembrance of missed opportunities. Remembrance of all the times I wasn't compassion. That book's full of him remembering all of his pettiness, all the petty, and some people get angry at him because when he tells them how petty he was, he's remembering all the times he missed the opportunity of being kind. And this is the great masterpiece of the 20th century, is contemplating all the missed opportunities. We can do that too. We can little by little contemplate all the missed opportunities and make this great masterpiece of contemplation out of it. But we have to be compassionate to the stuff, and it's tough stuff. Thank you.

[78:34]

You're welcome. Oh, by the way, I forgot to mention, Margie hasn't asked a question yet, so I think she should be next. I wanted to invite some of the people who have not come forth. Without pressuring you, I invite you. I think the Assembly would love to hear from some of you who have not yet come forth. So please, in our remaining time together, not tonight, but next week, please consider coming out and dialoguing with me so that the Great Assembly can see your contribution too. Besides, we appreciate you're just here, I request that. And thank you, Margie, for coming forth tonight.

[79:36]

Leslie? Hi, Rob. Might be a quick question, and a variation of many people's questions, because I'm thinking about times I've been compassionate, and I think it's much more easy for me to be compassionate to somebody I might look down on. And now I'm feeling horrible about being arrogant that I'm separate and better, and I can be compassionate because I think they're suffering more than I am, and I'm somehow superior. And I don't know what to do with that. Be compassionate to it. Yeah. Be compassionate to it. Okay. Thank you. You're welcome. Margie? Are you here, Margie?

[80:37]

Oh, there you are. Can you light yourself up a little bit? Yeah, I will. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Rob. You're welcome. What's been on my mind a lot in regards to compassion? I appreciated Barbara Jones' story. I had a similar one. But I think of all the neighbors on my street. I've lived in this neighborhood for a long time, and just offering compassion to the many different situations that people are in.

[81:41]

I think it's just trying to find that equity that we're all suffering, and just sitting with that idea of the shared suffering. I don't know that I have a question. I mean, I just feel that I'm in a receiving and giving situation, and I need to be patient with it. I don't know if you have a comment, Rob. Well, patience is part of compassion. Compassion includes patience. Are you practicing generosity with these people? I think so, but I think I also need to examine that more.

[82:46]

And examining it is kind of like, so we have generosity, and we have ethics, and patience. Those are the first three bodhisattva training methods. So be generous. But then the next ethical discipline is to question what you're doing. For example, as Leslie was just saying, are you putting yourself above them at all? I don't feel like I am. I feel like I'm in the middle. Oh, you're asking myself. Yeah, ask yourself, am I putting myself above them? Ethics is to be careful. So you're giving them a gift, but you're being careful. You're being careful as you give it. For example, you check before you give it. You say, may I give you a gift? You don't just think, well, I can give you a gift without talking to you about it. I have a gift. May I give you a gift? It's now a good time.

[83:50]

So being careful and gentle with your generosity, which maybe you're doing that too. Maybe you're being gentle and tender as you give the gift. But also part of ethical training is questioning myself. So I'm giving gifts, but if I don't question myself, then I'm not being ethical. Is now a good time to give them a gift? I feel like it is. But I wonder, am I up to anything else here? Am I trying to become the most famous person in my neighborhood? As the most compassionate person in the neighborhood? You might say, no. But I don't care about whether you say no or yes, or maybe. I'm just saying, it's good for me to question. When I give a gift. If I don't question when I give a gift, the giving is not as compassionate as giving and questioning my giving. And also questioning,

[84:55]

questioning my giving means also questioning the appropriateness of the gift and the timing of it. And then also being patient with the pain of the situation. And then also checking, am I practicing generosity to reduce the pain, to get less pain? So self-criticism or self-questioning, self-accounting is part of compassion. And it would apply that to your generosity. And also apply questioning to your general practice of compassion. Is it possible that my compassion has some shortcomings? And to that, you might have an answer. But even if you say yes, doesn't mean that's the last time you ask that question.

[86:00]

And also, although I might say, does my compassion have any shortcomings? And I might say, yes, these are the shortcomings. If I asked other people, did my compassion have some shortcomings? They might have some things to say that I never thought of. So it's not just me questioning my compassion, but me being able to be called into account and questioned by others. So now I'm suggesting, as you practice compassion, question yourself, but also let others know that you would like them to question you too, about what you're up to. Or let them know that you welcome their questioning of your compassionate work in the neighborhood. If you're ready to do that, that's a big step. And you might say, well, I'm only ready to do that

[87:03]

with a couple of people in the neighborhood, not everybody. There's some people that I'm not ready to have them call me into question yet. But this person, I would like them to call me into question. I think that would be helpful. And you said at the beginning, I think, did you say you didn't really have a question exactly? A question didn't present itself to me. But now there's the question. But the importance of conversation brought that out. Yeah, yeah. The conversation brought out the need for being able to be questioned. That's part of compassion. So here's a class on compassion. And people are asking lots of questions. That's really appropriate.

[88:06]

Well, it's a little bit past our usual ending time. So I guess we should end. May our intention equally extend to every being and place. May our intention equally extend to every being and place.

[88:30]

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