I feel it's a dynamic world. I have this speaker on me here and because I have this speaker I think that I can talk more quietly. But if I talk more quietly I notice that somehow if I depend on this, somehow I don't come across. So part of me wants to whisper. but another part of me wants to yell. So I'm pretty confused. And this thing here amplifies the whole situation. This morning I'm feeling how fortunate it is to be alive and in addition to that to be a human being and to be able to therefore hear this Dharma this unsurpassed, perfect and penetrating Dharma of the Buddha, and to have a mind that can be penetrated by it, and a mind that can penetrate it.

[01:16]

In the center of the room is the great Bodhisattva Manjushri, pleasant splendor. And one of his teachings is called the teaching of the inactivity of everything. Manjushri said to the Buddha that for a living being to be awake is just not to move. just not to move from being a living being. The condition, the exact condition of being a living being, what a living being is really, is precisely what we mean by Buddha.

[02:22]

That's the teaching of Manjushri Bodhisattva which I could hear and I could say and you could hear. So that's what I'm talking about this morning and that's what our sitting practice is about. It's about being a living being. It's about being alive. And it is about being aware of the precise, the actual condition of being alive. That is what we call happiness or awakening. Okay? So what's the big deal?

[03:31]

It turns out that by virtue of developing our self-awareness and therefore a sense of self we have become overly concerned with ourselves, and this over-concern for ourself turns out that it somewhat has interfered with our awakening to our awareness of simply what we are. So we have to go through this elaborate process of Buddhist practice to awaken, to become free of the self-clinging which is obstructing the simple awareness of what we are. But the basis is very simple. What we're heading for is simply to realize what it means to be alive. That's enough. But again, because we're so complicated and interesting, we project all kinds of stuff onto what's happening, and it's hard for us to see it.

[04:43]

So I just thought we have to kind of clean up. We don't have to get rid of ourself, but we have to clean up and get rid of the extra self-protection activities. The self-protection activities are protecting ourself from ourself, which alienates ourself from ourself, and also we project this self-concern out on other people, and protect us from them and them from us, and it gets pretty painful. So I was talking, I was looking at an elderly lady, elderly, you know, I mean, she's over 75, and I don't know how much over. But anyway, I was looking at her, and this woman is very important in my life, and she has earlobes, and on one of her earlobes is a big blackhead.

[06:03]

It's been there for a long time. I've noticed it for a long time. And you know what? I want to squeeze that block in. Can you imagine that? When I was a little boy, It seemed like on Sunday afternoons, I don't know if it really was Sunday afternoon, but it seems like a Sunday afternoon activity, I used to watch my father squeeze the blackheads on my grandmother's nose.

[07:07]

Kind of pretty sickening for me to tell you that, I'm sorry, but... And I used to think, how sickening. But see, my grandmother couldn't see the blackheads on her nose, and she wanted them extracted. So my father did that for her. And even though I thought it was sickening, as I grew up, I kind of wanted to do it myself. Now, I don't know if anybody else has such a background or such desires, but... I kind of think that as a primate, are we primates or have we gone beyond that? Well, anyway, I have some affinity with primates. I like gorillas and chimpanzees particularly, but I also like baboons.

[08:13]

And remember when I took anthropology, we studied baboons and they spent a lot of time grooming each other. Like one's sitting here and then sometimes, and a bunch of other ones are sitting at the back, sort of going through their hair, pulling out various things that are in there. Now, I don't know what their motivation is, but anyway, I kind of identify with that kind of feeling of wanting to clean people up, you know, kind of like, kind of get in there and pull stuff out and I did something satisfying about doing that to people and to myself. And I was thinking, you know, again, with this lady, I really kind of just wanted to take that little black thing out of her ear. But I didn't feel like I was quite intimate enough with her to do it. Because it's kind of intimate, because she might feel like I'm criticizing her or something, or I don't like her blackhead or something. I guess I could say, do you know what blackheads are?

[09:15]

If you had a blackhead, would you want it removed? And then see what she said. If she says yes, I'd say, well, guess what? So it's partly that I want it... It's not so much that I mind her having it, but I kind of want to get it out of there. Something in me wants to get it out of there. And I feel almost close enough to her to do it, and I kind of... Anyway, and I was thinking, what is the word for that? And I couldn't remember the word grooming, because I thought of baboons, you know. I feel this kind of primal, primate thing of getting in there and cleaning people up in my fingers. But I couldn't think of the word grooming. The word I thought of was preening, to preen, you know, to preen somebody, preening. And I looked the word preening up. in the dictionary. And what preening means, the etymology of it is pre... pre... Does anybody know pre-what?

[10:28]

Pre-anoint. Pre-anointment. Preening is something you do before anointment. Now, then I thought, geez, this is kind of interesting. And I started thinking, well, maybe this is part of the baboons' religious activity, is they're cleaning each other before religious activities. But there's... And then I thought, well, in Buddhist texts they always talk about first, before you worship Buddha or before you practice meditation, first you clean yourself, wash yourself, put on clean clothing before you enter meditation. And then it says... put oil on yourself, anoint yourself. And I thought, well, geez, they do that in the Indian tradition, they anoint themselves as a symbol of sacredness or a symbol of sanctification, to anoint yourself and to be anointed.

[11:40]

So I saw these various issues of intimacy and cleaning up and anointment and the sacred sort of started swirling around for me. And I thought, in the West, do we oil ourselves before we go to worship? And I think in ancient times they did, didn't they? And I thought, that's what Christ means, isn't it? Christ means the anointed one. And christening means to anoint, anoint, to put oil on. And in Buddhism, and also in most religions, before entering into a very special ceremony, we anoint people. We sprinkle water on them to anoint them, to purify them, to to make them ready to enter another world, particularly in ceremonies which are rites of passage, like becoming a priest or becoming lay ordained, or receiving the precepts.

[12:56]

We anoint people. as part of becoming a Buddhist priest at the final stages of training too, you receive an anointment, which is said to be the spiritual parallel to being anointed as a prince or princess. That through the anointment, you're then initiated into reality. So I thought again about French ladies and perfume. What's that about? And getting dressed up for church and things like that. So this morning, is there some way for

[14:10]

for us all to be anointed now? Can you anoint yourself? You've already preened yourself, it looks like. Can you anoint yourself? Can you feel yourself anointed for entry into reality? If you take good care of yourself in that way, every day before you begin your religious practice, every day before you begin your life, you clean yourself as a religious act. You brush your teeth. You wash your face. Are these called ablutions? you make, if you wish, you make your morning ablutions ablutions.

[15:16]

You make yourself ready to live a life of sacredness and awakeness. You remind yourself that this is washing. And what kind of washing is it? In Buddhism, you're washing not the dirt, you're washing the clean. you're cleaning up the clean. And by cleaning up the clean, you prepare yourself to live a healthy life. You enter into not a fixed-up person, but a clean person who simply is letting him or herself be a living being So the cleaning is a reminder of our cleanness, which is simply the cleanness of being alive.

[16:20]

A living creature is, as such, is completely clean. But we have to clean ourselves to remind ourselves as a symbol of our perfectly clean living nature. And then enter that realm of awakening. however you want to. Now, in the Zen school, after we... We don't tell you that. You come to Zazen instruction here, we tell you how to sit. That is the... That is the initiatory... That is the initiatory movement, is the sitting. As soon as you sit... however you sit, the moment you sit, you are immediately, without any hesitation, except on your part and you shouldn't have any, you are immediately thrust into the realm of awakening.

[17:34]

Not with any reservation, you are admitted, you are welcomed, and you have entered the realm of Buddha. and you are sitting with all Buddhas as soon as you sit. Every time you sit you are initiated into the reality of your life. And we don't tell you this at Zazen instruction, but before you enter you should wash the clean. There are other texts which clearly and very energetically encourage the meditator to clean before meditation. Not because they're dirty, but to wake up to what you're about to do. You're about to enter the realm of awakening, so wake up to that. You might never get to the meditation hall. You might never get to sitting. So this is anointment.

[18:42]

This is preening. You might even pull out a few blackheads in the process. It's up to you. Brush your teeth because you're going to be talking to Buddha. You're going to be talking and breathing Buddha's breath through your body. We'll talk about that later. Sneezing is also one of the great activities of Buddhas. So these words I have spoken have now initiated all of us who are sitting into the sitting of Buddha.

[19:43]

This is what we call Zen, or sometimes called Soto-Zen, which is saying what I said before, namely, as soon as you sit, you immediately realize complete, perfect enlightenment. Now that you've realized complete, perfect enlightenment, probably you sense some problem. One of the problems of being in the realm of Buddha is you might get complacent. Now before you were in the realm of Buddha, you might have gotten discouraged or despondent. That's another danger. And if you haven't really entered the realm of Buddha now, even after I told you you could come in on good authority, then you're outside and you're probably in various forms of I don't know what.

[20:57]

Is anybody outside? All good. Anyway, stuck in the door? Well, how does that feel? Now that you're inside, the danger, if you're inside, the danger is complacency. And again, complacency means calm, pleased, calm pleased. The calm intensifies the pleased. You're not pleased, just pleased. You're intensively pleased. That's complacency. That's a danger, to be intensively pleased with your presence in the realm of Buddha. But if you think about your job as a Buddha, you know, and you let people know that that's what you're up to, then I think you have some problems with your Buddhahood. You have some problems figuring, not figuring out, but living with how this is awakening, and whether you really are realizing what it means to be alive.

[21:59]

Because although it is true that as soon as you cross your legs, you immediately are in the realm of the Buddhas. As soon as you sit, even for a short time, the great wheel of the Buddha Dharma moves forward one notch. And if you sit another moment, another moment of the great wheel of the Buddha of awakening and the saving of all beings from suffering moves forward one notch. You're joining this tremendously wonderful activity. But there must be no self-clinging in this situation. So if you're in this realm, this realm also should not have any self-clinging. You're doing the practice which is the same as enlightenment. But if you're carrying a self at the same time,

[23:06]

Not to say if there's a self appearing and disappearing. That's not a problem. But if you're holding on to and protecting this little self, or big self, in this realm of Buddha, if you're spending part of your time, even a little bit of your time, worrying about taking care of yourself, then this realm of Buddha is simply delusion. So Soto Zen is rather than get people to clean up first and then let them into Buddha realm, we let them into the Buddha realm simply by sitting. And then people notice that there's some clinging, perhaps. And then we say, if there's any clinging there, you must drop it. Otherwise you're converting this wonderful realm of true life into delusion, which you were doing before you entered the realm of Buddha too, but now it should hurt a little bit more.

[24:13]

And it usually does once you enter. So then we just have this one little problem to take care of, which is the cause of all problems, self-clinging. It's not that you have to become somebody different or somebody better. Just being alive, just being a living being is sufficient. The only thing we have to do is stop protecting the self, stop taking care of the self. So Buddha's practice is partly to get you ready to enter the realm and partly to get into the realm of your life and then to become free of any self-clinging in the realm of Buddha.

[25:30]

And there are many practices which help us first of all identify the self-clinging second of all see how it runs see what problems it causes for us and others and through repeated exposure to how it works and also through repeated investigations of what it is and not being able to find it the self-clinging drops of itself. You cannot cause it to drop willfully. But just the repeated exposure to the problems it causes, the identification of it and the problems it causes, and the fact that it's protecting something which keeps changing all the time anyway, this combination of awarenesses naturally drop the self-clinging, and then you have a Buddha which is not interfering with Buddha anymore.

[26:37]

you have a living being which is just a living being. So, for example, we practice the six perfections. We practice generosity, ethical conduct, patience, enthusiasm, concentration, and insight. Each one of these practices tends to silhouette, highlight, expose the self-clinging in various different ways. It gives us different lights. It shines different lights on it and shows its destructive, harmful effects and increases the focus on it, kind of like, eventually like a magnifying glass. and eventually burns the self-clinging away, just by the awareness from these different angles.

[27:42]

Generosity is one angle on self-clinging, gives one angle on self-clinging. Ethical practice gives another angle on self-clinging, many other angles on self-clinging. Patience gives many angles on self-clinging. Enthusiasm gives many angles on self-clinging. So gradually you really see what it is until you have so much information about it, actually, that the weight of information, the tremendous amount of knowledge you have about self-clinging, that itself sort of takes care of it. Just when you know all about self-clinging, that's enough. And these practices... give you more information about it. So you never have to really get rid of it. It naturally vaporizes by itself through awareness. And then the self, the person, is just this thing that keeps happening moment by moment, and each one is different.

[28:49]

And you keep getting one, you don't have to worry, let it go. So through these practices in the realm of Buddha, what do we say? You wake up and die right. Or die right and wake up. In other words, the right way to die is not that the person dies. Well, yeah, it's that the person dies too. The person's dying constantly. Who you are is constantly dying. If you die right... moment by moment, die completely moment by moment, you wake up. And the self-clinging too, if the self-clinging dies moment by moment, you wake up. And when you wake up, then you die right. And when you die right, you wake up. So you're constantly dying and waking up in the realm of true life. which you are initiated into as soon as you sit.

[29:57]

Now, sitting is not the only way to get into it. You can also get into it by making a pile of sand in your backyard and walking around it clockwise. That also puts you immediately into the realm of Buddha. Now, what you're walking around, call it whatever you want, Anyway, it's a thing that when you walk around it, you're immediately in the realm of Buddha. So you might as well call it Buddha. You're walking around Buddha because as soon as you walk around Buddha, Buddha says, that's enough, you're in. Buddha doesn't really want to make it hard for you to get into the house. Buddha says, come on right in. Anytime, as soon as you're ready, come in. And then when you're inside, it says, okay, now that you're in my house, please leave the self-cleaning outside. It's a nice house, isn't it?

[30:58]

Aren't you happy to be here? All I ask is you leave the self-cleaning outside. But I know you don't know how, so I'm patient. It took Buddha a long time to get in the position of being so generous to let you in. Buddha knows how long it took to be that way. No rush, except for the fact that the human situation is extremely useful to do this, and it's going by fast. So there's no rush, but actually there's a rush. There's no rush from the point of view of Buddha, but from the point of view of having this great opportunity, well, please don't wait. See, what time is it? It's 1055. So, has this been a pretty simple talk today?

[32:01]

Pretty simple? That's what I thought. There's a poem about this. It's practice. I think the name of the poem is The Wind Bell. But it's really about the practice of sitting in the middle of your life and watching the self-clinging come and go. It's really about... dying right and waking up, or waking up and dying right. The whole body, the whole body is a mouth hanging in emptiness. Not asking from where the breeze blows, whether from north, south, east, or west.

[33:26]

All equally sing perfect wisdom. Ding dong. Ding dong, ding dong, ding. Now if there's anything more than that, guess what that is? What do you call anything more than that? What would you call it? Self-cleaning, yeah. If there's anything more going on than that, then you've found self-cleaning. You got it. Now, how does it work for you? Does it make you happy or does it make you miserable? And just keep going back to being that wind bell in the middle of the world, constantly singing perfect wisdom and compassion.

[34:30]

If anything else happens and you've found self-cleaning, see how it works. See how it helps you. See how it helps other people. Just keep being aware of it. It'll keep popping up there probably, but what does it do for you? Just keep studying it. Keep your eye on it. Meantime, remember, What you really are is perfectly awake, perfectly responsive, no matter what happens to you, whether you get slapped from the right or slapped from the left or bopped on top or lifted up from the front, you sing perfect wisdom and compassion. That's really what you are. Just like that. Listen. Hear that, how perfectly awake I am? Did you hear that? There it is, perfect awakeness. Just the sound of my hand hitting my cheek. That sound. This is my song. That's it. But of course, I can think of more than that. I can worry about more than that.

[35:35]

Because I'm a lot smarter than that. I'm not just a dumb windmill. I got a brain. I can think of stuff. I can evaluate things. I can reject the north wind when it's cold. I can do that stuff just as well as you can. But that's just self-cleaning. I'm not trying to get rid of it either. I just watch it and see what it does for me. See what it does for you. And what's it like? How am I one of just a bell? I'm just singing constantly, constantly singing. Everything that happens is my song of wisdom. Perfect balance, transient, compassionate, living creature. And anytime I want to, I can start thinking and be just as creepy as anybody.

[36:41]

No problem. I never forget how. I know how. I've been practicing a long time being deluded. There was a priest who was at Zen Center in the late sixties. His name was Yoshimura Sensei. And he was a very nice guy, kind of a princely priest. He was Japanese. And he came from Japan in 1968 to Zen Center and stayed for about three years. And one time he was at Tassajara and he was giving a lecture.

[37:44]

And he said something he was saying. He said, we like or at least we accept our own thoughts, but we don't like others' thoughts. That's what I thought he said. But actually what he said, I'll try to say it with his accent, we like our own thoughts but we don't like other people's farts actually what he was saying was what he was trying to say was we like our own farts but we don't like others farts after the lecture an American man came up to him and said, in America, especially in church, we do not talk about farts.

[38:55]

And he said later, he said to me, he said, you people in America, he said, in Japan, we talk about farts, even in church. But we don't do it. In America, you don't talk about it, but you do it. In church. He says, especially some people like Paul Disko do these real sneaky ones that you can't even hear. I mention Paul's name not to criticize him, but to make him famous. This is the realm of self-cleaning. My farts, your farts. My saliva, your saliva. And we're really big on noticing the difference between the two.

[40:05]

You've heard that example of how if you have saliva in your mouth right now, you don't mind, do you? Right? Everybody got saliva in your mouth? Who doesn't have saliva? Everybody's got saliva. It's good stuff, right? But if the saliva comes out of your mouth into your hand, you don't want to take it back, right? Even though you're happy that it was in there first, now that it's outside, you don't like it. And if you drink water, drink water, mmm, yummy, you know, mixing water with saliva, no problem, right? But if you spit into the cup, you don't want to drink the water. What happens? Self-clinging happened. You notice that the water, the saliva in the mouth is inside the self. Now the saliva is outside the self. You don't like it anymore. Not to mention if somebody else spits into your water. We've got this all worked out, you know. See how self-clinging helps.

[41:07]

This is a minor example. Talk about, you know, your car, your house, or things like that. Then it really gets heavy. And we start going to war over this stuff. We think we can kill people because of the location of saliva. Or, you know, that kind of stuff. You know? She understands. Those who do not know about self-cleaning are totally under self-cleaning's control. and are driven, miserable, destructive people. Those who know about self-cleaning, who have studied it thoroughly, will be released from self-cleaning and will be wise and kind. But studying self-cleaning is not so pleasant necessarily. To see your greasy little clean, to notice how much trouble it's causing you, is not necessarily pleasant. Sometimes it's quite pleasant. If you can make it into a joke, it's a good idea.

[42:09]

But sometimes it's very, very painful to see what we're doing. We must identify this selfish clinging. We have to find it. But remember, you're in the realm of Buddha. You're in the house of Buddha. Don't worry. You're Buddha's child. You just have some work to do. Namely, find out where you're clinging. see what it does, and become free of it. Then not only will you be a child of Buddha and in Buddha's house, but you will be a Buddha. You will become completely free of self-clinging. You will have no more hindrance to your fulfillment of kindness to all beings. But until that time, the self-clinging, even the tiny bit of self-clinging, will interfere with our compassionate activity. We must find it We must know it in all of its nefarious multiplicity, and then we'll be free.

[43:19]

So, anyway, Zen is, as soon as you make a little bit of effort, you're in the house, but then you have to become free of this stuff. Rather than become free of this stuff and then you can come into the house. No. That'd be okay, too. You get in the house either way, but you've got to find this thing. I myself have, to some extent, found the self-clinging that I have, and that's pretty good for me. But I have not learned all that I can about it. It's still not totally known to me, and therefore it still interferes with my deepest intention my deepest awakening, is still somewhat or greatly sometimes interfered with by this self-cherishing activity. But I really believe that to notice this and to keep studying this is the way to freedom.

[44:29]

It's the bitter medicine for the sweet fruit. May our intention...

[45:35]

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