So if you stay upright, not to the left, not to the right, not frontwards, not backwards, but upright, and you sit, then do you think something happens? Do you think that by doing that, there's a gain of awareness? Is that something that you might think? And if that's the case, how does that work? Well, why don't you ask one question at a time? Did he say, if you're upright, if you're not leaning forward or backwards, right or left, did you say something else? If you're upright, then does something happen, you said? It seems to me, what you said yesterday, it seems to me that if you do that, and I hear that in meditation or sitting, that that's the beginning of a practice.

[01:08]

I'm not sure... Okay, got it. So, he said, then does something happen, right? Did you hear what he said? He said, then does something happen? Pardon? He asked whether you gain awareness. He asked whether you gain awareness? Interesting. But he also said, then does something happen, right? Hmm. First of all, something's happening. I don't know if that's really true. But it may be actually, first of all, there's uprightness. Maybe the first thing that happened in the world or in the universe, maybe the first thing is that there's uprightness in the universe. And then, maybe after that something happens.

[02:13]

I'm not sure, actually. I'm not sure, but maybe it's actually that the first thing that there is in the world is uprightness. And then there's a face, a person, mountains and rivers. But without getting into that too much, I would just say that when something happens, the way it happens is uprightness. It's not like there's uprightness and then you're going to get something for it. Or because there's the practice of upright sitting, something good is going to happen to you, or bad is going to happen to you.

[03:19]

It's rather that the way things are happening is what we mean by uprightness. The way each of you is right now, however you experience it, thinking, feeling, emoting, making postures, breathing, digesting, metabolizing. And not just you, by yourself, as an independent thing, but you as you really are. Namely, you as you are in this room with all these other people is really how you are. You wouldn't be the way you are if we weren't all here with you. I wouldn't be talking like this if this room was empty. I might be thinking like this, but I wouldn't be talking out loud. The way you really are, the way you actually, precisely are.

[04:31]

That's what we mean by uprightness. The way you are when you don't try to do anything more than what you are. That's practice. Now, there are other practices, and I can say whatever I want about them, you can say whatever you want about them. But there are other practices where you do something, I guess, in addition. You pretend as though you can do something in addition to what's happening. Like you can move yourself over a little bit, and back. You can cross your legs this way or that way. You can sit up straighter or slouch. You can think nice thoughts or cruel thoughts. You can apply yourself to this or that, and all that's, you know, whatever you say about it is what it is. But uprightness is not like that. Uprightness is not another one of these things that people can do.

[05:35]

Uprightness is when you live your life with no device. With no leverage on it. And also not shrinking from it in the slightest. And in fact, that is the way everyone lives their life already. Okay, that's a little bit about uprightness. It isn't that then something happens, alright? No matter what you do, and then something will happen. What happens is completely beyond anything you do. And completely consumes and uses anything you do. You go like this, what happens will use that. You don't do like that, what happens will use that. No matter what you do, what's happening will completely embrace and sustain that. And then the next thing that happens will be similar.

[06:48]

Being one with that is uprightness. Now, did you ask me something about is it awareness? It is awareness. Everything that happens, from the point of view of our life, and our happiness or our liberation, everything is awareness. So yes, it is awareness. Yes. And so, what's the next turn? Did you have another? Thank you. What do you think? It's a good clarification, because everything is happening. Yes. I probably would understand.

[07:54]

But taking from the experience of hiking this morning, in order to be upright, I was aware that I was leaning all over the place in order to stay upright. That includes you being at the right place at the right time to stop me from rolling all the way down the hill. Is that being upright and understanding it? Because I'm leaning, but I know I'm moving. Sometimes I have to lean only forward, and sometimes I lean too much backward. That's when I start to slide. Yes, when you're leaning, when you see that you're leaning, in fact, you're leaning the way you're leaning. And you may think you're leaning differently than someone else thinks you're leaning. Like you may think you're leaning at, what is it, 60 degrees. Someone else may think you're leaning at 65 degrees. And someone else may think you're leaning at 45 degrees. all that's included in your leaning but there's an uprightness in whatever way

[08:57]

you lean there's an uprightness in other words there is the fact of the way you're leaning and that's exactly where you should be now the question is do you trust that or do you trust some or do you trust sitting up you know at 90 degrees and try to get yourself into 90 degrees when you're in 60 degrees well again if you at the moment you try to get yourself into 90 degrees or perpendicular when you're at 60 degrees the thought or the intention to straighten yourself up to 90 degrees that thought itself is also the way it actually is is also uprightness yes what is it to not be upright? it is to dream of not being upright and it is to be asleep in a

[10:13]

dreamless sleep it is to it is like that however when you're asleep the sleep being as it is is uprightness uprightness is unborn and undying you can't make it happen you can't take it away however you can celebrate it now in in what I said last night I said that the all of all the ancestors now all the ancestors and all the Buddhas who uphold the Buddha Dharma have made it be I don't know what it is it made it the true the true path of enlightenment to sit

[11:19]

upright in the midst of self-fulfilling Samadhi self-fulfillment Samadhi so in addition to sitting upright we also have an awareness which helps us so we don't just practice uprightness and appreciate the uprightness in all things we also appreciate this this self-fulfilling awareness that's the next dimension to the practice of Zazen so at the lunch table today I passed out some copies of this teaching on self-fulfilling Samadhi and I came to pass one out to Liz who came here with Leon and I sort of in some ways was what

[12:25]

do you call it there's racist there's racist there's sexist and there is there a spousist or couplist or marriageist so as I treated perhaps prejudicially I treated the couples differently than the single people I gave the single people a copy all that to themselves and I gave the couples one anyway I did that to save paper and but somehow we got into talking about marriage and song at that time and Liz told me about two couples she knows who love each other who live together and who love each other one who are married and one who are not married and she was she was musing about the difference between how some people live together in love with marriage and some without and wondering what the difference is and I was not getting into politics I stupidly

[13:26]

I mean getting into politics said that this self-fulfilling Samadhi this awareness of self-fulfillment is like the difference between living with nature and being married to it I don't that's true what I said but anyway it's kind of like that it's like the difference between being married there's a difference between being married to uprightness and just living with it you we are all living with it there's no way to not live with it the question is are you married to it and the marriage to uprightness is something that that's is something that you can do you do in a ceremony you have a ceremony and this ceremony is conducted as often as possible and it is possible to conduct it every single moment it is a very quick ceremony it is initiated and

[14:32]

culminated by complete devotion by complete awareness that didn't make sense to you it did what he started the marriage the marriage the marriage ceremony with uprightness how we join ourselves to uprightness is simply by being aware of uprightness but it is not that you're aware of uprightness as an object because it's not like you're here and uprightness is over there somehow you remember you look within without any without any means without any device there's another word I want to use that device starts with a C it's

[15:32]

not that's a word it's like a device that starts with a C contraption yeah without a contraption another one Caprice huh Caprice is another one contrivance without any contrivance without any contrivance you look without any means without any means in other words in within in an immediate way with no gap you look within and appreciate uprightness that's the ceremony where you marry your life to uprightness so that there's no separation between your life and uprightness in fact there isn't any and yet unless we practice in that way we imagine we can fall into a dream where we're separated from it and when you feel separated from it even if you think it's a nice idea it's still that little deviation there that little

[16:38]

discrepancy that little discrepancy is almost like you never thought of it at all or even like you don't even believe in it or even like you think oh well actually I'm not upright and I have to get up right now to do something a big be up right it's almost like that if there's if you're just a hair's breadth deviation away from it like I said last night a little bit missing a little bit is like missing basically a lot and part of the reason why you can't miss a little bit is because what your uprightness is about is the fact that you don't miss at all it's about the fact that you do not have to improve yourself in the slightest bit and yet there's an art of eliminating that slight discrepancy which you can create in your mind between your life and your complete radiance and again when you hear about this you naturally one thinks

[17:47]

what is how can I how can I do that how can I get close to that how can I approach that that thought itself is again a thought which is fully imbued with uprightness but it doesn't mean that you should act on that thought that thought itself is already complete and also to think how can I avoid approaching this uprightness when you hear about something really wonderful to think how can I not be attracted to that that would be in some sense a more sophisticated thought like one Zen teacher when he was being stalled as an abbot part of what he's supposed to do is walk into the temple and go offer incense in the Buddha Hall he went when he went by the Buddha Hall and said don't make me look at that thing that should be shot in the in the eyes with an arrow in other words when you hear about uprightness in some sense it's

[18:53]

very sophisticated to say geez I hope I don't try to get that and when you hear that uprightness completely will expose and uncover the essence of mind which when realized will completely liberate you from all suffering and also help everybody you know in ten directions and everybody you don't know in limitless directions when you hear about that you might think I want to do that that thought is not uprightness but that thought is upright no phenomenal state is uprightness and all phenomenal things are upgraded now everybody non-stop is completely endowed with phenomenal states you've got one right now and now you got another one you've never bereft you're never at least bit lacking in

[19:57]

phenomenal material and also every phenomenal experience complete is completely imbued with radiance and the most evil thought and the loftiest thought are equally radiant you know I would like to do the dirtiest rottenest thing to this person that anybody could ever imagine I mean I I can think of some bad stuff to do to them but I wish somebody would tell me something worse that way of thinking the way that the way that thought actually is is as radiant as tell me a really nice thought you know I would like to I hope that all beings will be happy completely happy that thought and the other thought are equally radiant however those thoughts are different in their effects

[21:04]

quite different if you actually want to hurt people you know in the most cruel way that would have a different effect and if you want to help people and want people to be benefited in the best possible way those will have very different effects but the fact that they have different effects is exactly their radiance the fact that cruel thoughts work a certain way and kind thoughts work another way is the law and they're both completely equipped with how they work evil thoughts are upright kind wholesome thoughts are upright so you can be you can have when you're thinking and when you're thinking a wholesome thought or a

[22:07]

kind thought there is uprightness there which you can appreciate which you can respect which you can be one with or not in an evil cruel thought there is uprightness which you can be one with or not uprightness is a way that a person who is in the midst of a cruel thought can practice to so this is a practice which can be done any time and can save any being in other words there's no place Buddha nature doesn't reach Buddha nature does not say that place is too creepy is too evil for that for us to go or this place is actually too swell

[23:13]

too wholesome they don't need us now maybe I should stop because I think I may have said something that's new to you and you may be working hard to reject it any comments or any expressions like to like to scream or it was reassuring to know that I've taken my domination to some of the places that I've been it was reassuring that you have taken your domination well I didn't say you took your domination there

[24:07]

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