We have a practice period starting in a sense now, quite a few people have come to Green Gulch for a period of practice which is somewhat intensified over the usual, well, intensified in certain formal aspects, in a lot of ways, the practice period is less intense than ordinary work at Green Gulch. But in terms of like certain scheduled events, there's more of them in the practice period. There's some tradition in the lineage of the founder of

[01:01]

Suzuki Roshi and Dogen, his ancestor, and now here today among us, there's some tradition of basically trying to devote every action of body, speech and thought to the expression of Buddha's wisdom and compassion. So there's a basic suggestion that upon, at the occasion of any action, that we devote that action to the expression of wisdom and compassion. And I like the word

[02:08]

express because express means to say or declare, but it also means to manifest or embody, or to put out or to ground. And saying this to you, I'm thinking about saying this to you, I have the experience that it's easy to, you know, as an action of thought arises, or words are expressed, or thoughts arise, or postures arise, it's easy to forget, to actually, it's easy to

[03:10]

forget. It's easy not to be mindful that these words and these gestures and this thought are devoted to the expression of Buddha's wisdom and compassion. It's easy to forget. And when you remember, however, it's not so hard to remember, it's just easy to forget. It isn't a lot of work to think about how are these words, how is this posture expressing Buddha's compassion, or I would like these words to express Buddha's compassion. I devote these words to the expression of Buddha's compassion. It's not so much that my words are Buddha's compassion, but that my words can be devoted. I can say, I give my words for the manifestation, for the expression of Buddha's compassion. May my words be so, and I

[04:19]

wonder how my words might be so. So many old time Buddhists say, if you wish to practice the way, whatever practice you're doing, first of all, arouse the mind of good compassion. Think about that, remember that, consider that, and weave that concern together with whatever is happening. And we have this precept, among our sixteen bodhisattva precepts, we have the first three precepts of taking refuge in the Triple

[05:22]

Treasure, and the next three are called the Three Cumulative Pure Precepts. And the first one is the one that I think I'd like to mention tonight, and that is the Precept of Embracing and Sustaining Regulations and Ceremonies. In a sense then, this precept, which is a precept of bodhisattvas, which both laypeople and priests, both laypeople and monks, such as in the bodhisattva tradition, both laypeople and monks receive and practice this precept of embracing and sustaining ceremonies and regulations. And I was going to say, well, what's the point of these regulations and ceremonies? Well, since I've said it, I guess I'll just take credit for having said it.

[06:43]

What's the point of these regulations and ceremonies? And oftentimes, for years, when people ask, my first answer has been, the point of these regulations and ceremonies and our practice, these forms and ceremonies and our practice, is to surface, flush out, bring any kind of view of self, view of independent self that we have about ourselves or other people. So the purpose of these forms and ceremonies is to get any view of self out in front, where you can see it. Your own view of self, where you can see it. And it turns out that oftentimes it also flushes your view of self out where other people can see it. Although it's not primarily for them to catch you at it, sometimes it just happens to look like that. Sometimes, actually, it might be revealed to them before it is to you. But in both cases, inwardly and interpersonally, intra-psychically and interpersonally, our view of self becomes revealed.

[08:05]

Our view that we exist separately becomes exposed. And then, not only the view of self can be exposed, but our belief in it can be exposed. And then not only our belief to it, which is similar to the following thing, but our clinging to self. So self-view, self-assent to this independent self, and clinging to the independent self, it all can be revealed. And the basic principle here is that if this self-concern, this self-view, this self-cherishing can be exposed, can be brought out in front, that exposure can liberate us from that view. And actually, almost anything that can be exposed in this way, the exposure can liberate us. So, first of all, in a sense, this first precept is to show us our self through our self-cleaning, our self-concern, and then liberate us from it.

[09:25]

So, actually, the main point is that we become liberated from self-concern, that we realize selflessness, but it turns out we have to see selfishness usually before we realize selflessness. Realizing that we're selfish is not the main point of Buddhism, becoming free of it, but the former is entailed in the latter, depending on if you can remember what the former is. So another way to say it is that this first pure precept is to realize selflessness, is to realize emptiness, which is the bodhisattva's realization. Another way to say it is that this first pure precept is to realize the Dharma body, the truth body, the true body of the Buddha. The true body of the Buddha is selflessness, which has compassion in its heart.

[10:43]

Another way to say it is that the point of this first pure precept is to realize intimacy. And I propose to you that the source, the spiritual source of Soto Zen is the non-duality of the unenlightened beings and the enlightened beings. It also includes the non-duality of the unenlightened beings. I think some people may not feel intimate with the enlightened beings, but I think we can see that we're related. But sometimes people feel like they're really different from the Buddhas, which is true, but we're non-dual with them, we're intimate with them. So intimacy is already the state of affairs, and that intimacy is our spiritual source, our practice.

[11:54]

So this first pure precept in particular I emphasize tonight is to realize that intimacy between living beings and Buddhas. So we have regulations and ceremonies that are a little bit different. In the Chinese expression for this precept, we use the term for regulation or laws, and we use the term for ceremonies or rituals, the two together. But they're also kind of very closely related. So I just thought I might mention to you, since you probably already know this, but I just thought I might list a few of the forms and ceremonies that we practice, both during practice period and also not during practice period.

[13:19]

A little bit more time for paying attention to these regulations and ceremonies. The ceremony that I came to Zen Center to practice, which I didn't think of it as a ceremony when I came, but the basic, the central ceremony of Soto Zen is sitting. It's actually a ceremony that we practice in the ceremonial hall for the purpose of that ceremony. Scholars don't seem to emphasize this, I don't know the reason, but they often translate the basic text that Dogen wrote on the practice of sitting meditation as in general, or universal encouragements for the practice of sitting meditation. They forget to translate one of the words in that title, Kukan Zazen Gi, the Gi, they often don't mention the word Gi, which means ceremony.

[14:31]

They don't very often translate it as ceremony. Universal encouragement for the ceremony of sitting meditation. Anyway, we do this ceremony, and about everybody here does that ceremony quite frequently, as a certain ceremonial form. The form of the ceremony does not, however, reach the principle of the practice, but in order to reach the principle of the practice, we must have a form. In other words, the form of the practice of Buddha sitting is not reached. The principle or the truth of the practice of Buddha sitting, or sitting Buddha, is not reached by the form of Buddha, but without the form of Buddha sitting, there is no sitting Buddha.

[15:35]

So we have to work with that. The form is part of realizing the selflessness of the form of the sitting Buddha. That's the main one, in a sense, the main ceremony of Soto Zen. Then we also have bowing. Then we have prostration bows, and we have standing bows. And we do prostrations to each other, and to the Buddha and Bodhisattva. And we do standing bows to each other. And sometimes to the Buddha and Bodhisattva. We also have many kinds of offerings we do, which you may or may not notice, but there's quite a bit of it going on here.

[16:37]

Some forms of the Buddhist tradition do more offerings than us, I think, with more detail and elaborateness and so on. But we do actually quite a bit of offering here, and we have particular ways of doing it, which have been transmitted to us by previous generations. We're doing our present understanding of that transmission, plus also understanding that we change from these styles of offering, but we do lots of offerings. Incense, food, and so on. And also the bows are offerings. And the sitting is an offering. We also practice confession and repentance. When I first came to Zen Center, we did not have that practice of confession and repentance. But then after quite a few years, we started practicing the monthly, or the bi-monthly, confession and repentance ceremony, which some people say is the first Buddhist ceremony.

[17:46]

And it was maybe the first elaborate Buddhist ceremony, because I would suggest to you that when monks and nuns practiced sitting meditation in the presence of the Buddha, they were doing a ceremony back then, too. But compared to, again, the complexity of the ceremonial opportunities of the Indian subcontinent, Buddhism actually was originally a simplification. The Buddhist tradition didn't have as much ceremony as the mnemonical did. But one complex ceremony they kept was the monthly, bi-monthly, confession and repentance ceremony, which has been continued in Soto Zen and other both Theravada and Mahayana traditions. And we do this confession and repentance. Now we do it on a monthly basis. We have sometimes done it on a bi-monthly basis at Zen Center. We also do it now on a daily basis, which again, this was not done at the beginning of Zen Center.

[18:48]

It actually wasn't done for several years after we started to do the monthly one, but now we do it pretty much every day throughout Zen Center. And there's also what you might call constant confession and repentance, moment-by-moment confession and repentance. You don't, you don't, yeah, you keep that constant. Noticing that and repenting constantly. Every little moment of inattention, every moment that you miss the opportunity of expressing Buddha's wisdom and compassion through this vocal action, through this physical posture, and through this thought. Every time you miss the opportunity to express Buddha's compassion, or every time I should say that the opportunity of realizing the expression of Buddha's compassion through body, speech, and mind occurs,

[19:51]

then there's an opportunity to express Buddha's compassion by confessing that you missed expressing Buddha's compassion. So that's kind of constant confession, which is also practiced by some people, sometimes constantly. Then there is dokusan, formal dokusan. There's formal meals. And then there's, again, many kind of more elaborate ceremonies, like what we call tokudo, which means, literally means a painting liberation. It's the name for our precept initiation ceremonies. We have precept initiation ceremonies several times a year here. Then there's funerals, memorial services. There's ceremonies of actually making offerings and other things, which we're going to do in a couple of weeks, called seijiki. We have formal ceremonies for spirits who need our ceremonial assistance.

[20:57]

We have weddings, and in some sense, you know, in some sense, although I've retired from doing weddings, in some sense they're really cool, because in some sense weddings are really like... The whole point of being a Bodhisattva is to realize the wedding of all beings. The ceremonies are to realize the wedding among all living beings, and the wedding of living beings and Buddha. So weddings are... The thing about weddings, though, is they look like they're kind of concentrating on two people. But really, in some sense, our practice is one big ceremonial wedding. With everybody. Everything. Even, you know, certain political candidates. Another ceremony, which we do during practice period, which we don't do otherwise,

[22:06]

is we do what's called menju, where we ceremonially recognize each other, and in some sense, ceremonially act by saying the names of all the Buddhas, and then we circulate the names of all the Buddhas among all the beings in the process. It's a symbol of the integration of Buddhas. I mentioned earlier this menju circulation practice, this recitation and enactment ceremony. We also have tanga-ryo. Tanga-ryo. Tanga means itinerant monk, and ryo means room. Traditionally, in training centers, they'd have a room, a tanga room, for people who are traveling and are either just coming through and just visiting the monastery for a little while, or wishing to maybe check out the monastery and perhaps settle down a little bit and see if they want to matriculate

[23:13]

into the community, and they'd have this room they'd sit in, and if they sat there long enough, usually they would be allowed to enter. So we do that now. Tomorrow, we have a day for some new people to consider whether they would like to do the practice period. If you don't like tanga-ryo, you can leave. But if you leave, you don't get to do the practice period. But, if you really change your mind after you leave and want to come back, you can do another day. So that's another ceremony we do. Another ceremony we do is, we have entering ceremonies and departing ceremonies. We also have a regulation, which is also kind of a ceremony, called being on time. It usually isn't considered an ethical precept, but it's somewhere between a regulation and a ceremony.

[24:24]

A ceremony of being on time. And it's a good one for revealing of self. And also, it's a good one for realizing selflessness. That's really a good one. It's simple. I have some stories about being on time. One is, I may have... Yeah, I have some stories. I have 8 million stories about being on time. One of them is, sometimes when I come to the zendo, when I'm a doshi, leading a meditation or whatever, particularly during sesshins, and there's a lot of people in the zendo, sometimes I come to the zendo, and I come to the entryway of the zendo here, or Tatsahara. Tatsahara is a little different, because in Tatsahara, the people are late, they're in the back. In the back of the zendo. So I don't see this mass back there necessarily when I first arrive.

[25:29]

I see it later, I've trust. They're allowed to come in later. And sometimes there's such a big mass back there that it's hard to get by, as I walk around the room. But at Green Gulch, we don't do it quite that way. So the people are actually in the entryway, so the doshi actually walks through the people who are late. So during sesshins, sometimes there's this large group of people outside the meditation hall, who didn't get in there before the door was closed. And there's a person there who kind of guards the door, so they can't... So anyway, sometimes there's this big mass of people, and the doshi gets to say hi. What are you guys doing out here? How is it? Anyway, the doshi usually just walks by. One morning during a sesshin, I don't know if I said anything or not, I think I might have said something, like, you know, how wonderful it is to practice buddhimatthana, or something, I might have mentioned something like that. And the next day I came, and the entryway was like, there was nobody there.

[26:35]

It was like, just this big spacious area, you know. Nobody, and the zendo was packed with people. And you know, I kind of enjoyed the experience. It was so unusual, and really interesting. And then, I mentioned it later in the day during the lecture, I said, that was amazing, everybody got with on time this morning. I kind of enjoyed it. And then later, some really got furious that I enjoyed it. Because they felt like I was, like, you know... I guess the implication was, all those other days, when the people were like, out there, you know, knocking on time, but actually I didn't really appreciate them when they weren't out there. Anyway, it was kind of like, very oppressive, you know. So I thought that was very interesting. One of the first times, I think, early in my practice,

[27:42]

I said to Suzuki Roshi, what is right effort? And he said, to get up when the alarm clock rings with no hesitation. And, you know, that's just a very nice instruction. It's kind of a ceremony. It's also kind of a regulation. But like, when the alarm clock rings, is there a little bit of hesitation there? Or even more than a little bit? Like, dang, hello, here we go. What's happening? Satsang. Time to get up again. Wow. I'm alive. Okay, I hear it. So it continues to be, over the years, an interesting instruction. Which, sometimes it's like,

[28:45]

there have been moments when there was no hesitation. But then, even after that, there were moments when there was some hesitation. And one time I was doing a training session in Minnesota. I was Abbot of Zen Center. Maybe I wasn't, but I think I was the Abbot of Zen Center. But I still went to Minnesota to do a training with a visiting teacher named Inarizaki Ikko Roshi. And I had a tent that I was staying in, which was not too far from the Zen Do. And so I went to Zazen. And I noticed that the visiting teacher always beat me to the Zen Do. He was like, pretty old and frail. But he was always there before me. And I... I was kind of surprised that he got there before me.

[29:48]

He wasn't the Abbot of the place, he was a visiting teacher. He gave the talks, but he didn't lead the services. So he went with the other monks. And then one morning, one day, one of the periods of meditation, I was in my tent, and I was looking out of the tent, and the bell rang for the meditation. And I could see where he was staying in the house, sort of across the meadow from where I was. The bell rang, and when the bell rang, he just popped out like a little cuckoo out of a clock. He just popped out of his house. Ding, pop! Not real fast, just like ding, pop! If he was there, you know. And like maybe the Jesus said, OK, now get ready, Roshi. Get over by the door, because the bell is going to ring. And then the bell rang, OK, now go, Roshi.

[30:49]

And then he would walk kind of slowly, because he was kind of old and frail. He would walk slowly from his house, and get to Zen Do. And... If I would also, when the bell rang, if I would also pop out of my tent, I would beat him, because I was younger and faster. I wasn't that much farther either, but I could easily beat him there if I would pop out of there. But I noticed that, because then I sort of watched, and I noticed that when the bell rang, I didn't just pop out of my tent. I had some other things to do. It wasn't that important, but I kind of wanted to do it, and rather than just pop, ding, pop. So then I decided, OK, I'll practice popping out when the bell rings too, so then we both popped. And then I was in Zen Do before him. But the thing was, there was no hesitation with the bell on him. He trained himself over the years

[31:53]

to work on that. And, you know, it can be fun for a while, like ding, pop. But then after a while, that's when I had to get old. Yeah, I know about calling the bell rings, but actually I have just wanted to put a few more stamps in some of my correspondence, or just brush my teeth a little bit more, or do a couple more stretches, or finish this paragraph. I don't know. And you can do that and, you know, not notice that there's any kind of view of self around that, but sometimes you kind of notice, oh my God, there it is, like me finishing another paragraph, that's going to really help the world. Rather than, how can I express Buddha's wisdom and compassion on that bell ring? Oh, another big practice,

[33:15]

it's not exactly a regular, sometimes it's a regulation, sometimes it's not a regulation, sometimes it's just a ceremony. And I've just lately been calling it being bilateral. In particular, being bilateral in a student-teacher relationship, but also being bilateral with people you're practicing some form of ceremony with. In other words, learn to see your activity as not unilateral. Learn to think about your activity as bilateral. Learn how to talk about your activity as bilateral. Learn how to physically act like a bilateral. And again, I didn't make this up all by myself. I arrived at this bilateral thing bilaterally. And the teacher,

[34:26]

he didn't articulate this to me as a principal. He just demonstrated it every now and then. For example, when I was in the city center in 1970, also I was the director so I could assign myself my room and I assigned myself a room next to his. So when he went places, unless he used the fire escape, I had to go by my room. So he'd walk by my room when he'd go in another building, walk by my room to go to his room. I would leave my door open so I could catch him so he could catch me. In my room, the door wasn't open all the time, but I'd often leave my door open when I was doing something that I thought was good. But he could, if he wanted to, he could notice, oh, good.

[35:27]

But also I wanted to just see him and other people so I'd have my door open. And so he would go by and he would stop and say things to me sometimes. And one time I remember he went by my room and he stuck his head in the window and he said, he said, I'm thinking I'm going off to the movies tonight and people invited me and I feel like I should go with them. And I said, and I said, okay. And, but I did think, here's my teacher sort of checking in with me about going out. And he didn't just not talk to me, he didn't really exactly tell me what to say. He was a little bit almost asking me if I could get permission for him, for the master to go out when the young, when the young, you know. And,

[36:34]

yeah. And that wasn't the only time he did that. And I don't know, I don't know if it's still in our culture, you know, and still is. I mentioned to somebody, I don't know why I said, I just said to somebody recently, I remember that on December 10th, 1968, I went to his office at Sokoji Temple over in Japantown and I asked him if I could go to Katsura. And he said, OK, but you should ask them. And I said, I already did. OK. And then, one time I was at Tatsuharu when I was at Abbot,

[37:37]

and this teacher, I just told you about Narasaki Igaroshi, actually after that retreat that he did in Minnesota, where I, you know, watched him on time, then I came back with him to San Francisco Zen Center and went down to Tatsuharu with him and he attended. And, I'm not sure if I went down to Tatsuharu with him, but anyway, he came down to Tatsuharu and it was during practice period and he was visiting, he was visiting while he was in Tatsuharu and the lieutenant came to me and said, he said, Roshi's tired, but if you don't tell him not to sit Zazen, not to go to the meditation tonight, he'll go and he's kind of tired, he'd be better if he rested. And he was, a little while later he walked by his family and said, excuse me Roshi, please don't go to Zazen tonight. Please rest.

[38:39]

Thank you very much in Japanese and trotted off to bed. But again, I thought that was interesting that he, he wouldn't just decide by himself. But, and also I, I needed to be tipped off to what I needed to offer to him, otherwise I wouldn't have known that he would go even if he was tired. But he would also maybe expect that I would be sensitive to his situation and offer him rest if he needed it, and he did want it, he did rest. So, being bilateral about what we're doing is another, either a ceremony or regulation which promotes, which actually surfaces, surfaces the self-view because sometimes people think, well I don't talk to people like that. Well, I mean really,

[39:41]

it can be what you call infantilizing, right? You go, talk to the Ina or the Tonto or whatever about what you're doing and have them give you permission to go to the bathroom or whatever, right? But again, my background was that it's maybe infantilizing but the keep, the masters are infantilized too because the masters check out with the kids to some extent. So, it's bilateral infantilization. Everybody becomes kids in a way and everybody becomes adults. but there could be, there is this danger of infantilizing but anyway. So, part of the thing to just try to visualize and notice that actually this kind of practice will surface the unilateral approach to life which is again self-centered.

[40:42]

I'm going to do it by myself approach to life. I can do things by my own power approach to life. I don't need to talk to anybody else approach to life. That thing of being bilateral will surface your unilateral beliefs, your belief in being a one-sided being. It surfaces that and the more it gets exposed, every time it gets exposed there's one more, one more nail in the coffin of self-centeredness. But also, there's also opportunities to pull the nails out later. So, there's a process of pulling, releasing, letting the selfish person get back into action and disempowering the selfish person. It's a kind of struggle. You may have noticed. But there's another form which is available

[41:44]

to work on and again I would suggest developing that form bilaterally. Don't force it on somebody else. Don't force somebody else to be bilateral with you and don't let somebody else force being bilateral on you because that's not being bilateral. Don't make a unilateral establishment of being bilateral. Create it together, I would suggest. Perfect. That was truly bilateral. I was like, Oh! And one more tidbit I wanted to bring up is that in I don't exactly want to say

[42:45]

in early Buddhism and Mahayana but anyway that's not that's not necessarily put that way although sometimes it's put that way that one approach to these regulations and ceremonies particularly the regulations is to think of them as programs by which practitioners both monk and lay can develop into enlightened beings. That's one way to look at these things as ways that you can develop into enlightened beings. Another way is to think of them as guidelines for Buddhas for enlightened beings to express their their nature. That's more that's more in a sort of Zen way that these forms are ways for enlightened beings to be expressed and realized rather than by doing these forms

[43:47]

somebody is going to become some enlightened person to realize our intimacy and express it not to not to make intimacy not to make the intimacy that's already the case. Well one other thing another thing which I another form or ceremony is chanting and we chant we chant scriptures and we also chant vows we chant we chant vows and we all we chant vows you can chant vows general vows like living beings sentient beings are numberless I vow to save them delusions are inexhaustible I vow to end them dharmic gates the Buddha dharma is

[44:48]

inexhaustible I vow to enter it and the Buddha ways I vow to realize it these are general vows then there can be specific vows too right now as I get up in the morning may I together with all beings get over all resistance to getting up now as I offer incense to the Buddha or now as I bow to Buddha may I together with all beings realize that the nature of the one bowing and the nature of the one bowed to are the same and that this body and the Buddha's body are not two may I plunge into this non-duality with this body and there are already written verses for every activity that a monk would go through

[45:51]

in the 4th century A.D. but you can write new verses for everything you do you can basically feel like you want to manifest together with all beings the Buddha way but you can also stylize particular things like washing your face brushing your teeth using the toilet getting up in the morning going to bed at night perhaps create the time to make your basic spirit do things that way speaking of the actual act and doing the different things that monks do and now we're doing things that monks didn't used to do like getting up cars and now when you drive cars you can make vows and pick up telephones and use a computer all these things you can make actually save vows when you start and finish during these activities

[46:52]

so that's something you can maybe develop that habit or that practice during practice periods and so that's something I can help you do if you want to is there anything else you'd like to bring up? the window's opening now? one moment one second yes thank you do you have

[47:57]

an example for tonight? yes can you speak up a little bit? can you start? that moment when you just had the contact and thank you wake up the moment when maybe natural event psychological contact and maybe the heart some of your issues is present and that part of life is difficult to wake up does just having the intention of wanting to wake up deal with that deal with what goes on in your mind

[48:58]

causes that need to be making it difficult for you to wake up waking up is just one way to talk about it but just having that intention of wanting to wake up is that enough to deal with? then you might not actually notice can you just keep standing up a little longer? you might so you you start to get up and then these underlying or all these other complexities that come up like it's like you and the bell and getting up going to the meditation hall that's pretty simple but then all this other stuff

[50:00]

comes up if you if you go back to sleep then all this stuff just sort of like goes back and sits behind your back again but if you get up it then this stuff you get to see it for a little while it may disappear as you start getting active but I think getting up and going you get to see that stuff you get to see the resistances and the self-cleaning and the self-concern what's going to happen to me kind of approach to life gets gets put right out there for a little while and that freshness of the morning light and again it may recede as you start moving if you could actually just sit up and not fall back asleep you know and not not use activity to keep yourself from falling back asleep and just face that resistance that would be excellent it's pretty hard to face it right on like that and not go back to sleep you have to get up start moving a little bit and then it starts to recede

[51:01]

but you know it can come back again when you get this energy so anyway I think the point is to get it out there where you can see it and and the more you basically the more you become aware of this that's what does it but the intention to be free is key but you have to put it to the test you have to express it you have to manifest it and in the process of manifesting the resistances come and you get to see what they are and that's what you have to like if you naturally become free of as you sleep how does it go? the breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you it's a very important moment that first waking up time it's just wonderful the breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you

[52:02]

don't go back to sleep you have to say what you really want that's a good time to say it don't go back to sleep people are walking back and forth at the threshold where the two worlds meet the door is round and open don't go back to sleep anything else? yes as you were ending your explanation was that when resistances come up they naturally fall away without you having to do anything that's what I'm my question is

[53:03]

is it more important just to see the resistances and feel them and understand them and be with them without trying to manipulate anything yes or without trying to cut them out yes however when you said I think you said something about be with them yes being with them means if you say be with them then I would say I would stress be with them in other words be with them thoroughly and if you're with them thoroughly you will not mess with them so being with them thoroughly means being with them thoroughly means like getting totally undistracted from clearly seeing them you're not doing anything but if you clearly see them you will see that they drop away you will see that

[54:06]

they're not real you're not really we're not really resisting our life we seem to be resisting our life and we're attracted I was attracted to Zen because of stories of people who didn't resist their life but another way to say this is that those who are resisting life and those who are not resisting life are non-dual we're not really separate from the non-resistance to our life the resistance to our life is an illusion but it is there and if you can truly face this resistance and not manipulate it I should say not and when you truly face it you don't manipulate it when you don't when you face it and don't manipulate it you're thoroughly facing it but part of and part of thoroughly facing it is to confess it if you say oh yeah I saw some resistance the other day and so I faced it

[55:08]

and someone might say oh thanks for telling me well tell me about what it was like and you tell them they say gee I doesn't sound like resistance to me and then you realize that you just told them half the story and you can tell the other half and say oh my god wow that's really strong resistance but unless you unless you get it out well you can see see it and then also be able to tell somebody else this is my resistance and then you say oh really what about this oh sorry I didn't mention that so it's to thoroughly fully recognize your resistance which you need to do with somebody else only a Buddha and a Buddha can thoroughly see the resistance and when you thoroughly see it you realize it's not resistance it's really actually freedom so yes just see it truly and completely with no resistance to the resistance

[56:12]

and you will see the resistance is not really there we actually are alive we're not actually shrinking back from life it just looks like that and if you look carefully you'll see no it's not true we're actually not fighting our life and the the appearance of shrinking back from our life and the not shrinking back from our life are not true they're not separate but we have to see this shrinking and learn to look at this shrinking really clearly and uprightly and balanced and fearlessly here's another important sound bite non-violence depends on fearlessness if you're afraid of your resistances if you're afraid of your shrinking back from life if you're afraid of your shortcomings you do violence to them not always but you won't be you won't be able to be truly non-violent with your

[57:13]

experience if you're afraid of it so we have to learn to be not afraid of our appearance of shrinking back from life then you can like need it and become free and believe in that we're actually not at the wrong half-life which means confession and repentance seems unnecessary for Buddhas in order to realize Buddha so Buddhas practice confession and repentance of their shortcomings of coming up short and seeing the shortcomings and become free but not by trying to get rid of them not by being violent really respecting them giving their whole attention and we'll become free we will become free that it?

[58:14]

tonight? one thing that you said when you were answering the previous question that you kind of put in there was to say about how it requires for Buddhas to thoroughly be resistant yeah do you want to say more about why that is? um well this is just I'm just kidding when I say this okay? but it's one of my favorite jokes because the lotus sutra says so the lotus sutra says only a Buddha together with a Buddha can thoroughly can exhaustively understand and realize the Dharma one Buddha alone does not do it because there is not one Buddha alone there's not a Buddha alone a Buddha is nothing but the practice of all beings and all Buddhas

[59:20]

are the practice of all beings so it takes two to tango you can tango by yourself but it's not the thorough tango the thorough tango is with somebody that's what the lotus sutra says now you know after you read the lotus sutra you can practice it you can see that you think you can do something thoroughly by yourself and then if you think you can do it thoroughly by yourself then you wouldn't need to go talk to somebody else right? but still if you think you can do anything thoroughly by yourself it's recommended that you go find somebody to tell that truth and see if they agree and even if they're not a Buddha they might say what? you think that was complete? and then you get to see if you can get over your idea that you can do something complete by yourself no I can't

[60:21]

I'm attached to it right? now you see that but you wouldn't maybe know that until you go check it out with somebody else so that's what the lotus sutra says and Zen school Soto Zen in particular but I think other Zen schools are not about one person becoming Buddha it's about the entire mass of life becoming Buddha so it has to be two Buddhas now it can be more than two Buddhas but at least two and again the example of confession you think you're confessing your resistance well I confess my resistance to tell somebody else but again if you tell somebody else you may you may find out they don't know what you're talking about because you abbreviated it or you had code for it but the way you put it into code didn't have much impact on you actually and then you say the whole thing and they go oh my gosh and you go oh my gosh it really feels

[61:23]

different to tell the whole story now I'm much more embarrassed but that embarrassment is very important it's sobering does that make some sense we keep asking to talk about this forever though this is a big one talk about it yeah this is a big one this that teaching there's a chapter in the Shobogenzo only a Buddha and a Buddha and in some sense that chapter I think is the spirit of that chapter and the teaching of that chapter only a Buddha and a Buddha I think is very much the context of this sentient beings and Buddhas together is our non duality so on Sunday I was thinking

[62:25]

of talking about this what do you call the this context the spiritual source of our tradition of how we need how we practice together and how to invoke that that bilateral understanding of the practice not just one Buddha not a one sided Buddha but a two sided Buddha did you say something snarky yes yes well you want to slide out of here now yes ok may your intention be to extend to every

[63:26]

being and place with the true merit of the Buddha I think is very much the context non duality non duality and how I vow to enter them Buddha's way is unsurpassable I vow to become I I

[64:16]

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