Thank you so much for coming closer. All this fall we have been contemplating great compassion.

[01:15]

We have been paying homage to great compassion. We have been creating a container where we can open to it, let it in, where we can call to it and listen to it. I'm suggesting that great compassion is actuality.

[02:35]

It's the actual intimacy of all life. It's the way each being includes all beings. and the way each being is included in all beings. This mutual inclusion and support is actuality and truth and great compassion. It is a wholehearted intimacy And it could not be more intense.

[03:38]

It's fully intense. And we need to create together a container that's strong enough to support us to not run away from it, to not wander away from it. to not turn away from it. Being mindful and undistracted from this intimacy of great compassion is sometimes called the precious mirror samadhi. This morning we chanted a song celebrating the samadhi, the precious mirror samadhi, which contemplates great compassion.

[04:45]

In that song, it says, turning away and touching are both wrong, for it's like a massive fire. The intimacy of great compassion is like a massive fire. It cannot be grasped. And if we turn away from it, it's very sad, and we're lost in confusion. How to be present with it? That this Great Assembly, when sitting, that our sitting can be offered as homage to all Buddhists. It's not just something I'm doing by myself, and it's not even something I'm just doing with you or you're doing with me. It's all that.

[05:51]

And it's also us doing this practice is honoring all Buddhas. May our practice include that this practice is our attempt to pay homage to the Buddhas. And again, that one practice of paying homage to all Buddhas includes all the others. But, so that we realize that it includes the others, we do the others. And as we do them, we realize that they're included. Each one is included in each one. And I just thought I might mention to you that I'm doing the practice number four now, which is to reveal and disclose my lack of practice in this room, yesterday and today.

[07:05]

Now, there could be various examples, but I'm just going to give one. It is to reveal and disclose that yesterday during the second period in the morning, I think I dozed off. And then I, you could say, caught myself, but I noticed that I dozed off. And then I made an effort to sit upright again and be awake to pay homage to all Buddhas, to support all of you by being awake with you. But I did doze off. And I have not been doing that too much during this practice period, but for some reason I was dozing off yesterday. And then this morning again during the second period, I dozed off again, and I noticed it, and came back to upright.

[08:17]

I confess that, and I'm sorry that I dozed off. And when I dozed off, and then when I noticed it, I was happy that I noticed it. And I was partly happy because I thought, oh, now I can tell the Great Assembly about my shortcoming and how I take care of my shortcomings by practicing one of Samantabhadra's ten practices, which is to acknowledge and reform. It's to acknowledge and sit upright again. So I was actually kind of joyful about it. Take away kind of. I was joyful about it. I wasn't joyful that I just dozed off. And I wasn't really so much joyful that I noticed it. I was joyful that I acknowledged it as a practice.

[09:21]

Not the dozing off, but the practice of acknowledging, being aware and saying, okay, yeah, wow, I dozed off. And I could make an excuse like, I dozed off in the fragrance of the practice. The fragrance of the practice put me into a doze. But no, I'm not making an excuse. But I am telling you about one of the practices that supports us in being intimate with our life. I've also told stories about ... One time, Suzuki Roshi came to Tassajara in the summer, and stayed most of the summer.

[10:30]

And I was already at Tassajara, and I had been trained in the previous practice period to be a chant leader, We call it Kokyo. And, yeah, I learned this chanting. And before the practice period, which started in January, in San Francisco, in January, before I went to Tassajara, he said to me, I want you to learn chanting from the visiting teacher. I want you to learn chanting from him. And I did go, and I don't know if Suzuki Roshi sent word down to Tassajara to have me be able to receive the chanting instruction, but I did get in a position where I got this instruction from this visiting teacher, Tatsugami Roshi, who was the head of the meditation hall

[11:37]

at Eheiji for 13 years, the big monastery in Japan. And his specialty was chanting, so he taught me and other people how to do the chanting. And then after the practice period was over, Suzuki Roshi came to Tassajara and asked me to show him what I learned. He wanted to see what I learned. And we did the chants in Japanese at that time. We did the dedications. in Japanese. Now we say, you know, may all awaken ones and so on. We did it in Japanese. So I chanted for him and he listened. And basically, I wanted this intimacy with him.

[12:48]

I came to Zen Center to be intimate with this teacher. And now he gives me this chance to be intimate with him, to sing in front of him what I've been trained to sing. And he's listening to me. And he made some comments on my chanting. And then after he made the comments, he said, please chant again. So again I would chant. He would make more comments, and I would do again. And it got more and more intimate. Which is what I wanted, right?

[13:50]

But after a while, I wanted to get out of that room. I wanted to get out of that container. Which the training, I wouldn't have been able to be in that container if I hadn't done all that training for three months. I wouldn't have been able to sing if I hadn't been taught. So all that training provided a chance for me to come and sing for my teacher. And he provided now a chance for me to be witnessed. He was right there. All I had to do was listen to me and then give me feedback. And ask me to sing again and give me feedback. And I wanted to get out of there. Thank you, Roshi, I don't want to take any more of your time. Kind of dishonest.

[14:54]

Rather than, Roshi, I can't stand this, let me out of here. Your love is just too much. This is just too much. I'm afraid you're going to know me completely. No, no, it's enough. Thank you so much, Lurshin. No, that's okay. You can stay. And I kept trying to get out, but he kept holding me in the container. And now, it's 52 and a half years later, I can tell you that story. about how the teacher and the student create a container together where they can really be intimate. And it's hard to stay in the container. It's hard not to look away or to try to get control of it. But neither one is right. We just need to stay with the fire.

[15:58]

And the saint at our seat Okay, that's enough. I've sat here long enough. Thank you. I can go now. This period can end. This situation, there's enough of this. Or another way. Get me out of here! How did I get into this? Trying to get away from what? From what? From here. From here. What's here? Well, here is in the midst of the three treasures. That's what here always is. And if you open up to it, it's really intense, and we need to train in order to be able to be intense. And then, oh, another one besides, get me out of here, another one is, go to sleep. So, you know, you can say, well, can't you just be sleeping? Yeah, I suppose. I don't know. But anyway, when I was chanting, I couldn't go to sleep.

[17:08]

That was not an option. All I could do is try to end the interview. But when you're sitting, you can go to sleep. It's a way to get away from what's going on. And when I do, I'm sorry. But I did, and I'm sorry. And I'm going to try again and again to sit upright. And the kitchen's going, so I think I'll go too. Is it time for the kitchen to go? Yeah. Yeah. May our intention equally extend to every become place with which we have been born.

[18:02]

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