Yes, I don't need to remind you of me. I don't need to worry of me. in this vast, incalculable, unfathomable universe, on this precious planet Earth, teeming with infinite forms of suffering.

[01:05]

In this green valley, in this Zen meditation hall. We are studying the mind and maintaining and creating and maintaining a container for great compassion for the sake of all beings. And this morning we can celebrate being able to see everybody's face. Finally. Welcome uncovered faces. This morning in this great assembly we aspire

[02:19]

to take care of this great assembly throughout this last full day of our great rohasu sashin. And tonight provide a container to celebrate the awakening of the great sage of India under the bow tree. So long ago And this morning in this assembly I want to share with you something I brought up quite a few times before, but some of you have not heard about, which is a wonderful essay by our founder in Japan, Eihei Dogenzenji.

[03:32]

And the essay is called Kuyo Shobutsu, which means making offerings to all Buddhas, offering service and comfort and assistance to all Buddhas' great work. So in that fascicle, as I mentioned, the Buddhas are those who have served Buddhas. The Buddhas are those who have paid homage to Buddhas and become Buddhas. Through such a practice they have become what they have paid homage to. In that fascicle, Dogen Zenji brings up a number of Mahayana scriptures discussing the practice of serving Buddhas.

[04:45]

And one of the sutras is called... I think it's called... Anyway, in English it's called Buddha Treasury Scripture. And in that sutra, part of that sutra, is about making offerings. And Shakyamuni Buddha discusses how, as a bodhisattva, he made offerings to many Buddhas. And he mentions quite a few of them. He speaks of many, many more, but in particular he at least speaks of serving 16 Buddhas. And he talks about all the services he offered, all the ways he supported and assisted the great teacher.

[05:59]

And in the sutra he says all these Buddhas he was serving were named Shakyamuni Buddha. And starting with the first one, after describing the great service, the great offerings he made to the Buddha, he says, and yet this Buddha did not confirm my practice and say that I would become a Buddha. This Buddha did not predict my Buddhahood, saying that in such and such a time you will become Shakyamuni Buddha. They did not. The Shakyamuni Buddhas did not predict that he would be Shakyamuni Buddha. And all the Buddhas he met did not predict that he would become a Buddha. And at the end of each description of his services, he said, they did not confirm, they did not predict my Buddhahood.

[07:07]

And what was the reason for that? And the Buddha says, because I was trying to gain something. I was trying to get something from this service. So we have been paying homage to Buddhas and bodhisattvas in this assembly. We have been doing it. And this is the way of the bodhisattva. To pay homage, to praise, and to make offerings to all Buddhas. And to learn to do that wholeheartedly without trying to get anything, without any idea of gain. Of course, such practices are immeasurably beneficial, and to do something beneficial without trying to gain anything, that's the bodhisattva's challenge.

[08:14]

And Shakyamuni Buddha did try to do something really good for these Buddhas. And Bodhisattva did do great things for these Buddhas by still trying to get something. And Shakyamuni Buddha confessed and repented that. And in this sutra I counted 15 times he did that. 15 times he made extensive services over long periods of time but still trying to get something. And so the Buddhas did not affirm his practice. Finally he met Burning Lamp Buddha, and he made offerings to that Buddha. And in process of making those offerings, he discovered, he accepted that there's nothing to get. that in great compassion we don't get anything.

[09:19]

And in accepting that, he finally received confirmation of his practice. And that Buddha, burning a lamp, said, you will be Shakyamuni Buddha in the Saha world on planet Earth. You will. And that will be good. And it was. And we celebrate that tonight. in this assembly. The Buddha tells us, I practiced confession and regret. He did it right there in the sutra. And other places too. like some person told me recently, that they're now starting to experience some elderliness, some old age. And they remember when they were young and they saw other elderly people, they kind of wondered why they were so... I don't know what.

[10:33]

Why they didn't make a better effort in their old age. And this person was embarrassed by that. And Shakyamuni Buddha, same thing. He saw some old people when he was a bodhisattva and he found them rather disgusting. But then he felt sorry. He was ashamed that he thought they were that way because he knew he would be that way too soon. The Buddha practiced this confession and repentance. And the Buddha says that when we practice it, in the early teachings the Buddha says, when we practice acknowledging our lack of practice, the Dharma wheel turns. We turn the Dharma wheel by the practice of acknowledging our shortcomings and feeling regret. And as we said just a moment ago, this revealing and disclosing

[11:42]

of the shortcomings in our practice before the buddhas melts away the root of half-hearted bodhisattva practice. In the meantime, we may notice examples of half-hearted practice. And noticing them is good. Then we can acknowledge them then we can acknowledge them before compassionate witnessing and say we're sorry and turn the Dharma wheel. So in this assembly we are here to turn the Dharma wheel. We have been trying. We have been listening. We have been looking at the suffering of the world in our effort together to turn the Dharma wheel. And as I said yesterday, one of the ways to turn the Dharma wheel is to

[13:00]

Ask questions in the Great Assembly and alone. But if you're alone, please invite the Great Assembly to come and witness you. I don't see any Buddhas, so I want to invoke them. O Bodhisattva Mahasattvas, please concentrate your hearts on me. I, Tenjin Zenki, Buddha's disciple, have been half-hearted in my practice this morning. Please witness this. Please support me in the practice of the true mind of faith, the true body of faith. O Bodhisattva Mahasattvas, I have a question for you, which I ask for the welfare of the world, which I ask for the happiness of all beings. So the Great Assembly is invited now.

[14:05]

If anyone wishes to make an offering to the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, make an offering to the Great Assembly. Give a question which you think will be beneficial. Reveal and disclose something that you think would be beneficial. Just like the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas do. You are welcome to do so. Several people have already raised their hands, so you can come. Those who wish to come and make an offering are welcome to do so. What is the form? The form is come up, maybe bow to me, standing bow. or full prostration if you want to, and then turn and bow to the Great Assembly.

[15:08]

And then I'll give you a microphone and you can speak or dance. Patrick? There's a microphone. Thank you. Holko, can you turn the lights all the way up, if they aren't? So, is it on? I think it's on, yeah. I think I'll turn it more horizontal. So my question for you this morning, and for the welfare of all of us, is, What have you learned from the experience of pain, yours, and from observing the pain of others, like me?

[16:18]

What have I learned from observing pain in myself and others? People making an effort to learn from it. I've learned patience. I've learned generosity. I've learned tenderness. I've learned respect. And I've learned that partly by, if I wasn't that way with the pain, it just flared up. But I learned that being patient and generous with pain was the way to be with it. I'm not saying I always remember, but that's what I've learned. And I've never regretted being patient with pain. Patient doesn't mean just enduring it. It means being wholeheartedly there with it without trying to get rid of it. Sometimes

[17:21]

I always say, and that's the quietest, calmest, most peaceful way to be with pain is to be in the present moment with it. I've learned that. And to let it be. And to realize that pain does not want me to get rid of it. Pain is not saying to me, get rid of me. Pain is saying, listen to me. Listen to me. Don't fix me. That's not what I want. You can fix me, but that's not what I'm asking for. I'm asking for an audience with great compassion. That's what I've learned. And I'm learning. And from observing others in pain, is there anything that... Well, like last night, someone told me about some pain, I observed the pain, and I suggested the person might consider lying down. That person could be me. That person could be me.

[18:23]

Yeah, so I observed the suffering, I observed the person trying to be kind to it, I observed them having difficulty being patient with it. And I was patient with his pain and with his tensing up with it. And I thought, well, maybe you could just lie down for a while. And I heard that that would calm it. And then just, when it calms down, then when you're ready, sit up again. And so that's... But first of all, I listened to it. And I just observed it. I didn't try to fix the pain, but I offered a suggestion about another way to relate to it, which just came up in the conversation. Thank you. And having the the Zabhatan before me, on which I could lie if I reached the point where my patience was unable to be with the pain.

[19:29]

Just being able to observe the Zabhatan before me, I was able to continue sitting with patience, without lying down. And I'm really ready to lie down at any point. You're ready to lie down. Someone said about me one time, a great compliment, excuse me for saying so, but the person said, you're always like this, ready to be like this. So you can be sitting upright with that pain, but you're ready to go like this. And then hopefully you can relax with the pain. Because pain is coming, folks. It's coming. It's coming. Pain's coming. What would be nice if we can sit upright and relax with it? It's coming. What would be nice if we can be at peace with it? So you still have pain, but you're finding a way to be peaceful, and you're ready to recline. I'm ready. And remember, in the end, the Buddha reclined.

[20:33]

Still the Buddha, in pain, reclining. Teaching the Dharma, reclining. So, maybe you'll recline, and that will be your teaching. Thank you. You're welcome. Did you want to come? Great. Yeah. And also, thank you, Agent Hiroshi, for asking, what is the form?

[21:41]

We have a form now for your offerings, to hold your offerings. May I call you Shousanji? You may. Shousanji. But just don't call me late for dinner. It's getting cold. So, for years now, I've wondered... Can you hear him okay? Okay. A little louder, please. Four years now. How's that? Is that better? I've wondered about the Tathagata. We pronounced it differently in a former life. The other night I woke up and realized, well, let me say first,

[22:53]

I wasn't sure how to ask about it, but to talk it. I was embarrassed by the way I was thinking about it. And then I come here and I start reading, chanting the sutras. And I start seeing little clues, I guess. But like I say, the other night, I just woke up in the middle of the night and went, oh, I'm going to That's a question for Rep. Yesterday you said, come to me with a question, so here I am. It occurred to me that perhaps the hammer striking emptiness, that contact point, is that the tathagatam? The hammer striking emptiness, is that the tathagata?

[24:07]

The contact, the moment of contact. Is the moment of contact the tathagata? Right, yes. That's my question. Is this the moment of contact? Absolutely. Thank you for your answer. You're welcome. Thank you for your question. Thank you for your practice. Yes. Are you a duet? Are you a duo?

[25:14]

You spoke yesterday about how our school focuses more on compassion, but others focus more on loving-kindness. I did not hear much about the distinction between the two. What is the distinction between compassion and loving-kindness? I think compassion is sort of more emphasizing the intimacy. Of course, it's an intimacy based on wishing all beings to be at peace. But loving-kindness is not so much saying to embrace the suffering. It's more like wishing suffering beings to be at peace. The compassion is to be with them with no separation. That's intimacy. The well-wishing is very beneficial and we need it.

[26:54]

But what really saves people is intimacy. So the great compassion is this actual intimacy of all beings. That's what illuminates the mind and liberates all beings. So that's a little different, it's a slightly different practice. But they need each other. It makes me think of Bodhidharma facing the wall rather than wishing that the state of things would change and improve. It's not better than that, it's based on that. So he's got that good wishes and then he shows how to realize them. just be with the wall of suffering with no duality. That realizes the good wishes of loving-kindness. That's the practice of great compassion he's trying to show us.

[27:58]

Thank you. I see you, Martha. I mean, Margaret, I see. But Josh is next. Josh. First I want to confess in front of the Great Assembly and you and the Buddha, that ties into my question, that I came to live at this Zen temple to gain things.

[29:17]

I wouldn't have come here if I was content in finding happiness in the rest of my life. So it seems like innately, I came to this Zen temple, I got up off my seat, and I'm here before you asking a question to gain something. I requested Dokusan because I have something that I want to gain. And, you know, my heart is beating out of my chest because I'm concerned about gaining the respect of the Great Assembly, you know? And so I wonder if this seems to me like My big drive to come here and to be doing this practice in the first place is to gain. How does one make that shift? Like Shakyamuni Buddha did. Shakyamuni Buddha aspired to unsurpass complete perfect awakening. But he thought of it in terms of something to gain. And he went after it to gain something.

[30:18]

And the Buddhas did not say, that's the practice, good job. So you're telling us, like Shakyamuni Buddha did, I'm trying to gain something. But also he didn't just try to gain something. He noticed it and confessed it. You're noticing it and confessing it. You didn't come here necessarily to confess that you're trying to gain something. You came to gain something. But now because you're here, you hear about the problem of that, so you're confessing it. But confessing it, maybe you can confess it without trying to gain something. So now, even though you have this gaining motivation by confessing and saying you're sorry, you melt away the roots of the gaining. But the melting takes some time in the container. Shakyamuni Buddha had lots of confessions. Even after he saw that he was trying to gain something from his service of the Buddhas, even after he regretted it,

[31:31]

He did it again and again. And in this sutra he did it sixteen times before he actually could practice without trying to gain something. So if he did sixteen, you might have to do seventeen. But to reveal that you came here to get something and to feel some embarrassment under these circumstances, that's the practice. The practice is not to get rid of the person who's trying to gain something. The practice is to help that person admit their humanness and say that they're a little bit uncomfortable with that. And if that comes again, I hope I reveal it and disclose it again. Because I've heard that that practice of compassion will melt away the roots of my gaming mind, my normal human gaming mind. We've all got it. Most people come to Zen Center to get something.

[32:34]

Not so many go to Zen Center to help the teacher. But after they stayed for a while, they switched from trying to get something from the teacher to give something to the teacher, and then even to give something to the teacher without trying to get anything by giving. So you're in that process, and this is a process that Shakyamuni Buddha tells us he went through, just like you. Before Buddhas were Buddhas, they were just like you. They were trying to get something. When you get over trying to get something, you get predicted to Buddhahood. But there's going to be a few more repentance. Thank you for your offering. Any other offerings?

[33:40]

Yes, Margaret. And then, somebody over here? Margaret and Riley. Yes, Margaret. I'm pretty nervous. Horizontal, I think. I'm pretty nervous like that. Does that work for you? Can you hear okay? A little louder. Yesterday in the talk, I realized that I had committed a transgression and Wednesday at lunch, when my sangha assembling stretched out through legs, I was overly reactive and being overly responsible for what I thought was responsible, and I made an out

[35:16]

I said something, and so I broke the silence and the harmony of the meal. I realized that was like a tear in the fabric of what was happening. What my sangha sibling did was just what they did, but what I did was actually disruptive. So I wanted to apologize to everyone for disrupting the peace and the harmony of the meal. And I don't like being so exposed. But I'm asking for folks to accept my apology for my reactivity. We accept it. We accept it. Thank you.

[36:17]

We witness it. You're welcome. Thank you for the demonstration of practice. Can everyone hear me okay?

[37:35]

Yes. So I was wondering what is your happiest memory and why? I don't remember it, and I don't know why. Thank you. You're welcome. Yes.

[38:43]

Can everyone hear me okay? Esther, you spoke about loving-kindness and compassion, and I wanted to ask for your guidance on a particular situation that I find arises a lot. Say you have someone in your life, perhaps it's a, I like to call it an in-law, and you have to deal with this person, And they're an adder. You were talking about adding and subtracting, and they love to add all over everyone. And one way to deal with this type of person, if I can't offer loving kindness all the time, because it's quite challenging, is to avoid the person. But then I remember my bodhisattva and I made a vow to save all beings and free all beings. So then I tried to meet this person with loving-kindness again, or compassion.

[40:16]

But if you give this type of person a finger of loving-kindness and compassion, they'll take the whole arm. So then I find myself retracting again. yeah, I'd love to know how to manage this situation, honor my vow, be loving, kind, be compassionate, but also not land up being a doormat for someone else's ego. If I'm with someone who is, you say, adding, adding, adding, and I'm feeling uncomfortable with that, the first thing I do is give loving-kindness to the one who's having a hard time, me.

[41:19]

To immediately turn and give loving-kindness to this person who is suffocating me with adding, adding, adding. Is it like suffocating? Yeah, it can be. And it's also subtractive because they're looking to get something from you, from the addict. So your energy is getting drained. Sounds like you are uncomfortable with them adding, adding, adding. Is that right? Yeah. So loving-kindness starts with, if possible, you who are oppressed and troubled by this person. You're the first one. And you just keep working on loving-kindness for you until you feel more relaxed and calm. And this other person may not see that you're working on yourself. Matter of fact, you might have to leave town and go on a retreat to take care of yourself.

[42:31]

And then finally you feel like, OK, now I am calm and relaxed, having wished ease and freedom for this suffering person in the face of this onslaught. Next, apply that same practice to somebody who you feel kind of neutral about. somebody who is not, you know, the most wonderful person in your life, and also someone who's not a stressor, and practice with them. After taking care of yourself, you're ready to take care of a kind of a neutral person, an acquaintance, perhaps, you know, this kind of, you have neutral feelings about. And when you can really wholeheartedly wish them well, then move on to somebody you really like, somebody who is really easy and uplifting, And we don't start with that person because we might get attached to that person if we practice loving-kindness right away.

[43:36]

But after practicing with our own stress and another person who has not too difficult but they have problems too, we're wishing them well, then we deal with somebody we like and we wish them well and wish them well and don't get attached to them. Finally we turn to the stressor. the one who is really painful for us, the one who we might feel some resentment towards because we've given them a lot of airtime, but we didn't really give it. They took it, we thought. Now we talk about... Now we try it with them. But don't start with them. Start with yourself. And if you can't even start with yourself, start with somebody like the Buddha. Wish the Buddha well. Wish a respected person well. And then come to yourself. So basically don't start with the one that you're having the most trouble with and skip over yourself who's having trouble with the person. Take care of yourself first.

[44:39]

Get your feet on the ground of loving-kindness. And from being well-stationed there, move on to the neutral the positive, and then the big negative. And now you're well trained at loving kindness and you have a better chance of interacting with them because you're no longer, I shouldn't say longer, you're able to deal with your resentment towards them. And if you can take care of your resentment, then you can wish them well and they may do various other troublesome things, but you can keep at it. And that sets the stage for compassion towards this person. Thank you so much. The last thing is, why do I never go back to the person? Have I, like, but I can feel compassion, but I never go back to the person. Have the bodhisattva, you maybe should just not get into never. Okay.

[45:41]

You know. Not Neville. You know, as a bodhisattva, eventually you're going to work it out with this person. But maybe not in this lifetime. But your vow is to become a person who can help that person, who can, you know, for whom that person is like water off a duck's back. I aspire to be somebody who can really engage with that person and disarm that person and liberate that person. But today's not the day and probably not tomorrow. But I don't say never as a bodhisattva. I say eventually. That's my aspiration, but I'm not there yet. This person is too advanced for me. But I aspire to be a person for whom that's just right. So don't say never as a Bodhisattva. Just say, not today, thank you. Not tomorrow. Not in this county.

[46:43]

Which is, again, confessing your limits. And that will free you of the limits. I'm still not ready. Okay. I'm still not ready. Okay. I'm still not ready. I'm sorry. Okay. Okay. This is the pure practice. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm sorry. And you don't even have to say it to that person. You can say it to your teacher. And your teacher can say, there's the practice. You're doing the practice. You will eventually be ready. But I don't know when. Thank you. Is that enough for this morning?

[47:47]

Oh, yes, please. I mean, whatever you like. I often find myself wavering about various paths for this life, and I guess the meaning of the bodhisattva path, bodhisattva activity.

[48:59]

And considering the world of Buddha Dharma and the world of the mundane, the worldly, are not too intertwined with each other. Can you hear and look at? Not so loud. A little louder, please. One can do quite worldly things and see that the Buddha Dharma runs through them. And one can, for example, perform the action of sitting with satsang half-heartedly. So, in light of that, what is it to renounce worldly affairs and uphold the Buddha Dharma? You're wondering what is to renounce worldly affairs and uphold Buddha Dharma? I just want to mention, by the way, that this place in the Avatamsaka Sutra where Samantabhadra gives these ten vows, in that section, that's the end of a young bodhisattva asking many teachers, what is the bodhisattva path?

[50:09]

What is the bodhisattva path? So asking about the bodhisattva path is like the way to go in Zen. What is the bodhisattva path? What is the bodhisattva path? What is renouncing worldly affairs? So asking the question is already renouncing worldly affairs. It's the beginning. Now my response today is renouncing worldly affairs means renouncing being half-hearted. In your sitting, in your mokuryo playing, in your carefulness with speaking to people, To be half-hearted is a worldly affair. The Buddha way is wholehearted practice. And the process of renouncing half-heartedness, which is the worldly affair, involves acknowledging that was kind of half-hearted. I'm sorry.

[51:11]

Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you for your question about where we are. Yes? I appreciated what you said about embracing our humanity.

[52:32]

And I find that when I'm at my best, I tend to embrace my shortcomings with joy and compassion rather than embarrassment. And I'm wondering what the merit of being embarrassed is when I could instead find the joy and the humor in being a human. I think the embarrassment or the regret, it's a stimulus to remind us to go back to more wholehearted practice. But part of being human is being concerned with trying to get something, which is not wholehearted practice, usually. Because rather than wholeheartedly try to get something, we try to get something in a way that we'll be able to get something. If you wholeheartedly try to get something, you may not get it, you might realize.

[53:35]

But if you do it half-heartedly, you have a better chance to get it, so I'll do it half-heartedly. That's human tendency. So the embarrassment and the sorrow and the regret make me more sincere about the practice which I just noticed was half-hearted. Their embarrassment reforms me, wakes me up. How is that better than humor and kind of like some levity about it? Or can those things be stimulus as well? You know, I think that once you've confessed and been embarrassed, then you can laugh. I'm such a silly boy. I'm embarrassed a little bit to be silly, but it is really funny. But if I laugh before I am embarrassed, almost nobody shares the joke.

[54:41]

Yeah, so as I've talked to you before about, you know, we need to be able to relax. The bodhisattvas are playing in the world of suffering. They're trying to teach people how to play. But in order to play in this world of suffering, you have to be able to relax with it. In order to relax with it, you have to acknowledge it. This is suffering. and I'm responsible somewhat. I have a big part in this, and I'm sorry about that. Okay, and I'm really sincere. I really am sorry. And now I'm ready to relax and play and liberate all beings by creatively working with this suffering. But I can't creatively work with the suffering if I'm tense and I'm not playful. So I want to be playful, relaxed, and creative in order to liberate beings from suffering. But I'm not ready to relax until I've admitted my shortcomings and felt some discomfort about it.

[55:51]

So... And many people, they... I can't relax. And the reason they can't relax is they haven't yet admitted their shortcomings, which is... They shouldn't yet. They've got some work to do here. Okay. And then it's really... When we wholeheartedly admit our humanness, it is often really funny. My givenness, not yours. I acknowledge mine. And I laugh at mine. I don't laugh at yours. But if you're laughing at yours, I can join you. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you. That's a very important point. a big part of what attracted me to Zen was its sense of humor. And if you listen to Suzuki Uroji's talks, he laughs a lot.

[56:57]

Did you hear me laugh? I laugh a lot too. I find myself really to be pretty funny. in a loving way.

[57:16]

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