I just thought of this funny thing to say, but I didn't, I thought maybe I shouldn't say it because it's not that funny. I thought that that would be funny, but the other thing, I didn't know if it was funny or not. I'd like to talk to you about faith and also, I think kind of maybe shortly after the class last week, the thought popped up in my mind, which I think of every 5 or 10 years for the last 50 years. It's something that somebody said, and I don't know if it was a psychoanalyst who wrote about Zen or who said it, but somebody said,

[01:00]

Zen is psychoanalysis plus ritual. Psychoanalysis plus ritual, or together with ritual. So I like, that's another topic that I'd like to discuss with you at some point before too long. So, another thing that, yeah, so, another thing is that, it's not another thing. An example of, a possible example of ritual is that on Tuesday night, you come here and you sit, right, and you sit with some other people, right?

[02:15]

And you could say, well, I just go and sit with other people, but somebody else could say, I go and sit with other people to perform a ritual, a ritual which creates a community. That it creates an assembly, and the assembly is not just living on Tuesday night, but Tuesday night's when we do the ritual. Now you could do other versions of it, but that's one of the things you could say we're doing here is a ritual to enact, I might have said create, but anyway, to enact something. So there's a community here, and we do a ritual which enacts it, which performs it, but it's there whether we do the performance or not.

[03:25]

It lives between Tuesdays, and after a series of classes are over, it's still a living thing. Have you noticed the community? So, that's like something about ritual. Also, I said that Buddha activity is living in silence and stillness. So one aspect of silence and stillness is psychoanalysis. So I've been proposing to you for some time that stillness is always present. But if you do not perform it, you may not realize it.

[04:35]

And in order to perform it, you may have to do some psychoanalysis. Not necessarily going to a psychiatrist in some office in Berkeley, but right here in this class, and between the classes, you can do psychoanalysis. Which is basically to, in this class, in conversation, do psychoanalysis in conversation. Psychoanalysis can be done interpersonally. Is that clear? You can do it like with an analyst and an analysand. They can get together and have a conversation. Does that make sense? And in that conversation, they're doing psychoanalysis. But you can also do psychoanalysis intrapsychically, like Freud, and analyze himself, right? Is that clear?

[05:40]

That you can psychoanalyze yourself. Like you can look inwardly and you can see if you're willing to be where you are. Or if you're kind of like wiggling and trying to get away from where you are. And thinking about some other place. But while you think of the other place, you're not appreciating where you are, where you're thinking it. Because I can think of another place, like Oakland. I can think Oakland. But I don't feel drawn away from here when I think of Oakland. Does that make sense? I'm disturbed by your trying to equate what the conversations and silences we have here with something called psychoanalysis.

[06:41]

Well, what I'm doing here is I'm saying is psychoanalysis. That our conversations are conversations to help you allow yourself to be here. It's just that it's a heavy word with theories and... Yeah, I'm not talking about Freudian psychoanalysis. I'm talking about Reb Anderson psychoanalysis. I'm talking about Suzuki Roshi psychoanalysis. I'm talking about Zen psychoanalysis. The purpose of Zen psychoanalysis is to be able to be here. But most people need a lot of help to be here. Like a baby going to sleep at night. They need help to be present so they can go to sleep. Make sense? They're wiggling all over the place. And we're trying to help them by psychoanalyzing with them.

[07:44]

Trying to help them like be here so that they can relax. Because it's hard to relax when you're running around the house. Which they sometimes want to do. Or when you're screaming, you know. And that's why we sometimes, before psychoanalysis at night, we tell them we do not want to give them sugar. Because the analysis doesn't go as well if they've got a lot of sugar in them. In Zen, we're not trying to make the Zen students go to sleep, though. We're trying to help them be present and awake. But they need, oftentimes, they need to tell themselves various soothing stories. Or be told by their teacher soothing stories. And be able to ask questions about various things. And their teacher can help them notice whether the discussion is taking them away from being here. Or helping them be here.

[08:47]

This is an analysis of the mind. Is that working for you now, Linda? Better. Better. Yeah. So we're doing psychoanalysis right now. I'm inquiring about your psyche. How is it you say better? And then I tell you, this is psychoanalysis that I'm doing with you. I'm not psychoanalyzing you. I'm psychoanalyzing our conversation. By the way, Freud's not alive to defend himself. But I was about to quote him before Linda raised her little hand. I was just going to say, I think, for me, the stopper, what you started saying, the word analysis. Yeah. Because to me, it implies stepping back from and using the mind to look at the material that's here. And those thoughts you're having, you're telling us about. So you're doing psychoanalysis while you tell us about your ideas of psychoanalysis.

[09:52]

Well, I wouldn't say I'm analyzing my idea. I'm more or less recording it. I know you wouldn't say that, but I'm saying that. And that's why I'm here, is to help you do psychoanalysis when you don't think you're doing psychoanalysis. And actually, I'm not stepping back to do psychoanalysis. I'm not stepping forward. I'm listening to you. And when I listen to you, I see how your words work. And then I say things to you in response. And so you're telling me you have another idea of analysis, and by you telling me that you have another idea of analysis, you have just re-analyzed your mind and told me about it. You've told me, I have in my mind another idea from analysis from what we're doing. You have just analyzed your mind and reported it. And I don't think you stepped back when you did that. I think you were right there, looking in your mind, seeing what you had,

[10:58]

and telling me and everybody else about it. I was reporting it, but I wouldn't say I was analyzing. In my view of analysis, I wouldn't say I was analyzing. And I'm saying, in my view of analysis, you did. Okay. Yeah. Truce. Not truce. That's another analysis. Truce. You saw this as an argument, as a fight. Is that right? I thought it could get to be one if we, you know, like, okay. Psychoanalysis. Are you ready to do some more? Psychoanalysis. You showed me something about your mind by saying truce. You showed me that you were thinking that things were getting kind of, I don't know what. Yeah. And this, this is analysis. This is this and this.

[12:00]

That's analysis. Analysis means to divide, to discriminate. And also, you had discriminated. You analyzed what you thought I was talking about as analysis, and what you thought was analysis. That's an analysis. And also, to say that this is the same as that is another analysis. So, now, what do you think is analysis other than that? You don't want to tell us what you think analysis is? You don't have to. I'm talking to her. You don't have to. Again. Yeah.

[13:02]

And I would say that that awareness of what's going on in your mind and describing it as boggled is an analysis. You looked in there. You said it's boggled. It's not unboggled, you know. You looked at it. You categorized it and reported it. Among the various possible stories that you could tell about it, you chose that one. I mean, that story was chosen. And I ask people, I say sometimes, are you present? And then they look and then they say various things. Sometimes they say no. Sometimes they say kind of. Sometimes they say yes. But that's an inquiry into their mind and analyzing present and not present and coming up with I don't know, yes, no. That's an analysis. Okay, what?

[14:05]

I accept. Okay. And for the moment. Yeah. And when you noticed that when you looked inside for the moment, that was another analysis that you looked inside. You found this word for the moment. Now, you can speak now, Charlie, if you want. Yeah. Yeah. So. But first, check and see if you want. Well, I really want to hear what you're going to say about Freud. I guess I just wanted to observe that when doing analysis, when using the discriminating mind to analyze, it seems like that is sort of a step back because there's a subject-object division there. And it's taking us out of the present pivot point to be separate from it

[15:09]

so that we can be in that mode of analysis, which seems to me to be incompatible with being completely present and one with the experience. So I've always noticed to myself that it seems like two modes of being, one being analytical mode and one being fully present, experiential mode. I wonder if that's something that you experience as well, or can you do analysis without being completely present? Yes. As a matter of fact, learning how to accept being still is necessary for the most profound analysis. And most people need to do quite a bit of analysis in order to allow themselves to be still. Most people say, I can't be still.

[16:09]

I've got to think about this. I've got to plan this trip. I've got to think about that. But they do not allow themselves to be still. However, when they notice the reasons why they don't allow themselves to be still, I would say they're analyzing. They're noticing the reasons that they don't feel they can allow themselves to just be here. And when you actually allow yourself to be here, you can see very clearly, oh, there's an image of this being separate from that. And you can see that it's nonsense because you're so still. But in order to, again, to have the most revelatory and profound insights into analysis, for example, the analysis of self and other, that's an analysis. The analysis of enlightenment and delusion.

[17:10]

So pivotal part of this class is the Buddha activity, which is enlightenment and delusion living together and pivoting on each other. That's an analysis. That's two things. One thing has been analyzed into this and that. To see that clearly occurs in stillness, occurs in accepting and realizing stillness. Yes? Is that noticing prior to the analysis? Noticing what? The separation? Just noticing in general. Noticing a thing. Yeah, I think you can notice without analysis, I think. Yeah. There can be noticing blue. Yeah. That isn't necessarily analysis. We're not guilty of analysis of that. Pardon? We're not guilty of discriminating one another. Well, you said guilty, you know. Analysis is part of wisdom. Wisdom analyzes.

[18:12]

But some other Buddhist practices do not analyze. Like, for example, giving yourself. You can do that without analyzing. Being careful. You can be careful without analyzing. And by doing practicing generosity without analyzing and being careful without analyzing, your mind starts to accept stillness. And in the stillness, you can see. You can see. You can discover that your mind is analyzing. It's already doing analysis all the time. But the practices are not necessarily analysis. So you analyze blue and not blue and red and green. Your mind does that. Self and other, enlightenment, delusion, good and bad,

[19:15]

Buddhas and living beings. The mind is doing those kinds of things. And we're not trying to stop it. We're trying to be able to look at it and be aware of the analysis and see the analysis as an illusion, as a process of illusion. But we need to use analysis in order to study analysis profoundly. Because a lot of our analytic activity is disturbing us. For example, me, separate from you, is an analysis of our relationship. It's a mistake, and that makes me agitated and afraid. Whenever I separate myself from you, there's some anxiety there. Like, I'm going to hurt you. You're going to hurt me. I don't want to hurt you.

[20:18]

I don't want you to hurt me. That kind of stuff comes up. What should we do now? All that comes up from analysis. Now, that analysis is deluded analysis. But there can also be wise analysis. Yes? Just thinking of an example, this has come up in my workplace with students. I was sitting with a group of students, and we were preparing a piece of music. I began wondering. We were doing some analysis of the score. We were looking through the score. I began wondering, do we really know what we are doing? What are we doing and analyzing? We call it our core score analysis. The students were really coming up with a... They were noticing a lot of things. They were speaking about interpreting different marks in the music, etc. I began to ask, what are we really doing here? Why do we analyze?

[21:18]

Why do we analyze our piece? I was really wondering for myself. Is this valuable, sitting here with a group of students? Shouldn't we be singing, making the music, performing the music? It kind of struck me that it was a way of us becoming close with the music. Right. I said, it's a way to get to know it. It's a way to learn it, if you don't draw close to it. It's one way to do it. Another way to do it is just sing along. Sing performing it. A student right in front of me was looking at me, and I said, just like Marcus and I, for us to get close to each other, to know each other, we have to be in the same room together perhaps. We need to do stuff together. We need to engage with each other in some way. One way of engaging is to sing together.

[22:21]

One way of engaging might be to talk together. Another might be to study stuff together. I think this is coming up in the recent past. I thought I would offer that to the conversation. As a teacher, sometimes I go through things in a rebellious way. It was a revelation in a sense. It just came up with all of us there. We're doing all this. Hopefully this can then be translated into a performance that we can grow closer in our understanding together about what this piece is. Then when we open our bodies and breathe and sing together, we can enter it more fully as a group. Yeah. I just want to review what Amanda just said.

[23:28]

One way to see analysis of the music is a way to become intimate with the music but also simultaneously intimate with each other. The music is for us to be intimate and analyzing it sometimes is a way to be intimate. But also singing together is another way. But the singing doesn't necessarily require analysis or the singing doesn't necessarily get into the analysis because when we're singing we still might feel like our mind still might be analyzing ourselves and the music and ourselves and the other singers. The mind still might be doing that. But for the time being we just let the analysis go unexamined. And that's okay sometimes. But you can also turn around and look at the way your mind's analyzing the music performance. And I just want to tell the story about Freud, okay? So the quote which some of you heard before is what?

[24:33]

Do you want to say it, Charlie? Do you know the quote already? Okay. So Freud spoke German most of the time and he was a very good writer. And one of the things I heard translated into English was human beings are powerful, isolated fantasy machines. Okay. And again, Freud's not here to just talk with me about this but I would say I agree that human beings are powerful fantasizers. I agree with that part. But I do not agree that they're isolated. I don't agree with Freud that we're isolated. I think we are. And by psychoanalyzing, he didn't get there. Sorry. By psychoanalyzing our fantasies that were isolated,

[25:36]

if he had been able to thoroughly analyze in stillness his fantasy that we were separate, he would have become free of that fantasy. And for example, he would have stopped hating Americans. So what I'm talking about is analyzing our fantasies of isolation and separation and thereby become free of our fantasies. We're not isolated but we fantasize that we are. And he wasn't, but he fantasized that he was. But he was correct. He wasn't fantasizing when he noticed that he was fantasizing. I mean, there was insight there, a lot of insight about fantasy. But he didn't notice that the fantasy about separation, that the idea of separation was a fantasy. He didn't get that point.

[26:36]

But the Buddhas have taught us that we are fantasizers and one of the main fantasies that troubles us is that we're separate from music and flowers and other people and food. And we come by these fantasies honestly. But we can analyze in stillness these fantasies and become free of them. Yes. Is it possible to become free of the delusion of... Yeah, through faith. Yeah, you could believe, for example, that practicing generosity is really important to you.

[27:41]

And again, for me, I use the word faith as what I bet on. So one might bet on practicing generosity. Somehow one might feel like generosity is the most important thing and I'm going to put all my chips on the practice of generosity. So then you start practicing generosity. And you notice in the process of practicing generosity that you feel separate from other people. You may have been somewhat aware of it before, but now practicing generosity makes you more aware of it. I'm the one being generous and also I do want to be generous with these people, but I don't want to be generous with those people. You start noticing that kind of stuff. Like, I'm willing to give everything to this person and this person I...

[28:43]

This person I almost feel not separate from. And because I feel almost not separate from them, I really am, like, really okay with giving them my whole life. Full-fledged, wholehearted giving is very similar to not being caught by the sense of separation. You can still see the grandchild standing over there, but you don't feel separate, maybe. Almost no separation. You can act like you thought they were you. You can do for them what you would do for yourself. So that... Say again? Maybe so. And if it is and you do it, it might help you realize that you're not separate from them. So what I'm saying is that

[29:47]

generosity isn't set out to be analysis, but when you start practicing it, you start... Again, your analytic mind shows itself and you notice, here I feel generous and here I feel stingy. That's analysis. You're not trying to analyze, but the practice of giving, which is a practice of being together and giving yourself to others, your analytic mind shows itself and sometimes you see it's kind of getting in the way of the giving and if you continue to practice giving, which is not usually called analysis, the analytic side of your mind shows itself and you practice giving and you learn how to not be caught by your analysis. So part of wise analysis is to not be caught by analysis. Because analysis is this is duality. This is this and it's not this. Wise analysis helps you not get trapped by the analysis.

[30:50]

So the analysis is already going on. Me and you, that's a duality. And wise analysis, I don't get trapped by that anymore and I'm free of it. And giving is one of the ways to overcome that unwise analysis, which is to separate ourselves from our environment, from other beings, and then suffer because we're trapped by that separation. So the analysis is not so bad, but it's to fall into it and get trapped by it. And we are often trapped by the good guys and the bad guys. We're trapped by it. We get stuck in that duality. And practicing generosity would be one of the things to help us not be trapped by that analysis, that distinction. If we can see it, we can see the thoughts of separation. Yeah, yeah. No, you can see the thoughts of separation.

[31:50]

We can see the thoughts of separation. For example, we can see the thought that enlightenment is separate from delusion. We can see that. Many people can see that. Stupid and smart, we can see that. But the practice is not to be trapped by the distinction between enlightenment and delusion. It's not to... The practice isn't to go over to the enlightenment and forget about the delusion. It's to have them both not be trapped in either one and realize that they include each other, to realize that in enlightenment there is delusion, and to realize that in delusion there is enlightenment. This comes as a little bit of a gift, which is real awakening, is to see that enlightenment isn't something that has gotten rid of all delusion. It is the understanding of delusion.

[32:53]

And delusion is the lack of understanding of enlightenment. They are included in each other. If you're not trapped in the duality of the two, then you can see, hey, I'm not trapped by the duality. I guess they could be like real close friends. They could be like including each other. And the way enlightenment includes delusion, and the way delusion is included in enlightenment, that is Buddha activity. Buddha activity isn't just to be enlightened with no darkness. And certainly it also isn't to be dark with no light. It is, however, to be dark with light. And it is to be light with dark. So that's why you can say that Buddha activity is stillness, is in stillness.

[33:54]

Yeah. It's an activity in stillness. It's like in stillness, in being where you... And that's why, again, there needs to be psychoanalysis for us to allow ourselves to spend part of our life not going anywhere. To somehow allow ourselves to be completely here and no place else. Which, of course, we are, we know that, but we don't act like it. Even when we're sitting fairly still, we still don't really believe in stillness. We still don't believe in being completely who we are. We need to talk ourselves into it, and usually we need a teacher or friends to help us. Kind of sing us a lullaby where we settle into where we are, and then there... Wake up.

[34:56]

Tyler? Yeah, I was wondering, when you do an analysis, I think about asking why, why this instead of that, or why that instead of this, why this happened. So then when I think about it... Excuse me, can I say something? Yes. Why isn't necessarily analysis, but why... Because why doesn't... If you really know how to say why, and actually what is even better, but if you know how to do that, you're not analyzing, you're opening. Like, what's going on, or how? These questions to question in the proper way is not to try to... You're like trying to wake up to the situation. So questioning aids the analysis, helps the analysis become free of itself. But if you ask a question like why to try to get something, that's not an open question.

[35:58]

If you ask a question as a gift, that questioning will help your analysis not get stuck. So, as I hear you talking about analysis, it sounds a lot like observation. Say again? It sounds a lot like observation. Analysis is like observation? Yes. It's observation, but it's observation of duality. It's observation of things being split. Like it's observation of your consciousness, and noticing that there's a sense of self, and a sense of other. There's a sense of self and what it owns. But the analysis isn't to set up the sense of self being separate. It's to say, oh, there's that, and there's that. And then to observe that makes the analysis be deep. So as you can see,

[37:00]

how arbitrary it is to say the self owns the thing, and it helps you be able to see that you could also say that the thing owns the self. And you could also observe that that's not usually the way it goes, but you could also observe that it could be reversed. And the questioning helps lubricate the situation so that things that are usually stuck in this one-directional relationship can turn and go in the other direction. And if instead of I own these words, these words own me, is also allowed, then we get to see that neither one of them own, that these words are not mine, even though I tend to say my words, but there's me and these words, and there's also the idea that I own the words, but there could also be an idea. In this class, now we have the idea

[38:01]

the words own me. It's equally valid, but not usually allowed. Now I allow it. When I allow it, I realize, well, actually, I don't own the words, and the words don't own me. We live together. We're always living together, these words and me. But neither one of us own each other. Now we have some sense that the words and me are not separate, which they aren't. They co-arise. There's no words coming up in consciousness without self. There's no self coming up without the words. They come up together. They live together. But they're usually stuck in a pattern, like I own it, and I don't own that. These are mine. These are not mine. And that's rigid and stressful and makes dis-ease. Dis-ease. But by practicing intimacy with dis-ease,

[39:05]

which our analytic mind is creating, analytic mind is saying self, other, mine, not mine, and then creating it and being rigid about it. Dis-ease, right? Dis-ease. But by being intimate with this dis-ease, we will have ease. In order to become intimate with the dis-ease of this music, we have to be kind to it and generous towards it and give it our attention and be careful of it and tender with it and then we will be intimate with the analytic process that creates our stress and dis-ease and we will find ease in that intimacy without getting rid of all the things that are there.

[40:06]

So it seems to me that this process of analysis and of asking questions and observing our responses to it is a mechanism by which we can become more intimate with our emotions. Yes, this is analysis applied to analysis. We have analytic mind. If we're not intimate with it, it is what we sometimes call a loose cannon. It's a troublemaker if it doesn't get a lot of compassion. Without being related to, with compassion, without realizing intimacy with this analytic mind, it is a stress maker. It slips into being rigid. It analyzes and fixes the analysis. So psychoanalysis in the Freudian sense,

[41:09]

I shouldn't speak for Freudian sense, but some psychoanalysts, what they're basically trying to do is they're helping people become free of the rigidity of their analysis so they have some life flowing through their body because they put themselves in all these little boxes and they're extremely stressed. So they smoke a lot of cigars and get jaw cancer and are very grumpy because Freud did not successfully get intimate with his analytic mind. But he did learn a lot about it and have a lot of insights, but he didn't get intimate enough to find ease. But he tried to help other people do that and I think sometimes he maybe had been somewhat successful. Exactly.

[42:15]

It's about enhancing, it's about, what's the word, supporting and promoting intimacy. Questioning, if it's done as a gift rather than trying to get answers, promotes intimacy. Like, how are you today, Tyler? How do you feel about what I just said? Do you think I'm listening to you? Do you see us as separate? Do you feel present? Do you have some feedback for me? These as gifts promote intimacy between us. And all those things were speaking to your analytic mind, which, you know, I might be interested in having our conversation how both of us

[43:20]

become more intimate with ourselves and each other. Yes? So in order to respond well to those questions and respond appropriately, I think I have to have faith that you are asking those from a nice person, not like, well-done, that you would be my guest. You think that? Yes. And I would say that for you, maybe that's where you're at. For you, that's necessary. But I could imagine that I don't trust the person and I still could analyze our relationship and become intimate with our relationship. Excuse me. My granddaughter is not like Kim just said she needed the person to be. I don't trust my granddaughter the way you say you need to be trust. I can want to be intimate with somebody

[44:23]

who does not have these qualities you said you needed. I can want that and I do want it. But she doesn't have any of those qualities you said you needed. No. Definitely 21. Okay, so here we go. Here's the big news for the last few seconds. Compounded phenomena are not trustworthy. Compounded phenomena are not trustworthy. Compounded or compounded? Compounded. Compounded. And they're not trustworthy. They're unstable. They're subject to change.

[45:26]

They're not trustworthy. Now if I say that about my granddaughter, maybe you say... Do you say okay? Well, I'm not sure how you get that. She's a compounded phenomena. Well, like she's put together with arms and legs and a psyche and an environment. Human beings are compounded phenomena. Trees are compounded phenomena. Cars or buildings, rivers, oceans, all phenomena like that are compounded phenomena and they're all unstable. Bridges are not worthy of confidence. They're unstable. They're not trustworthy. Back in Minneapolis a few years ago, one of the main bridges in the city fell down and people got really upset. Bridges are unstable.

[46:29]

The Golden Gate Bridge is unstable. They have a constant maintenance crew working on it because it's fragile. We are fragile. We are unstable. But fragile things are what we love. Fragile things are the objects of our love. They're calling for compassion. So, grandchildren are not trustworthy and 21-year-olds are not trustworthy and 22-year-olds are not trustworthy. However, you're still free to trust them. Go ahead and trust them. It's fine. That's something you might do. But you can also not trust people. But instead of trusting them, you can be generous with them. You can be careful of them. But like, again, a grandchild,

[47:31]

I don't trust her. She's like, we're on the verge of disaster constantly. But I'm totally there for this, you know, imminent disaster. Which is a great joy for me, you know. When we get to the edge of the street, she still is willing to hold my hand. I don't know when that's going to stop, but, you know, she gets it, and I get it, that she cannot go in that street without holding my hand. Too much, you know, she can, like, she can, by walking, and suddenly she just has a tremendous burst of energy and goes flying into the air. And I don't want her to do that in the street. So, but if she holds my hand, she can have a burst of energy and it's maybe, but that doesn't mean nobody's ever going to get hurt even if I hold her hand. Because I'm unstable too. I might fall down and have a heart attack crossing the street.

[48:31]

We are unstable, we are fragile. I am not worthy of trust and confidence. But what I am worthy, I am worthy, I am worthy of compassion. I'm worthy of your compassion. I am worthy of your compassion, but I'm not trustworthy. I'm not reliable. I'm not stable. And again, if I say, my granddaughter is that way, you say, okay. And you see, you can love my granddaughter even though she's not reliable. She's very deluded. She's learning, you know. Yes? Can you give an example of a phenomenon that's not profound? Yeah. Emptiness. That's it, right? Well, yeah, that's it,

[49:36]

but you can also say Buddha activity is not compounded. Buddha activity is not compounded. No, it's not redundant. It's a teaching. It's a teaching about them. Would you slow down and say that more slowly? I want you to slow down now. Ready? I want you to slow down so you can hear what you're saying. And me too. Say it slowly. It is. However, it's not compounded. Another phenomenon is nirvana. It's not compounded. Another phenomenon is space. It's not compounded.

[50:38]

Buddha activity is not compounded. The way you all support me and the way I support you, the way we compounded beings relate to each other, that's not put together. That's essential. And it's always that way that we're supporting each other. That's not put together. That is trustworthy. And, for example, the ease, the ease that comes from being intimate with dis-ease, that is not compounded. It's something that co-arises, it has conditions, but it's not put together. It comes spontaneously with intimacy with what's going on. So, and which is also, you'd say, emptiness. Ease is emptiness with compounded phenomena.

[51:43]

Yeah. The Buddha activity that you refer to is the only thing. Not emptiness is the only thing. Emptiness isn't anything. This Buddha activity is form emptiness, form emptiness. Yeah, okay. So, emptiness, the relationship of emptiness and form, okay, that's Buddha activity. Okay? But also we sometimes say that that relationship is empty. Of any kind of, anything to get stuck to. So, again, that is like, that's like emptiness again. So, emptiness isn't something, but also Buddha activity is nothing in and of itself. So, Buddha is, emptiness isn't nothing, it's just nothing in and of itself. So, Buddha is not nothing,

[52:45]

it's just nothing all by itself. It's relationship. Emptiness is relationship. And emptiness is actually, it's an activity. It's the way we're all, it's incredible, not incredible, inconceivable. It's totally credible once you open to it. It's the most credible thing, the way we're doing this together. It's emptiness. It's called emptiness, suchness, Buddha. And it's available all the time. And if we're kind to the compounded things that are unstable, you know, if we become intimate with them, we open to what is reliable. Namely, the way things aren't anything by themselves is reliable, is trustworthy. But I'm not trustworthy. But I am, I am, I am. I'm worthy of something. And what am I worthy of? According to me. Compassion.

[53:46]

I am worthy of compassion. Everybody in this room is worthy of compassion. There's nobody in this room that compassion isn't a good thing to give them a lot of. But there's nobody in this room that's not fragile. There's nobody in this room that's not unstable. We're all unstable. So you can trust being kind to people, but don't trust them to be a certain way. Don't trust that they're going to be kind to you. I shouldn't say don't trust. They're just not worthy. You can go ahead and trust. You can trust me. It's fine. And I will, I will, I will probably play along with your trust because I don't want to like undermine your trust. But, you know, so at a certain phase, maybe we do this trust thing, but I'm not worthy of it. I just let you do it. Like, if it's good for you to think that I'm trustworthy, go ahead. But I'm not. And you can say,

[54:48]

I don't care whether you are or not. I'm just going to, it's good for me to think so. Would you please let me? And I say, yeah. And then you say... Huh? Then I would get nervous when you ask me a question. How are you? So that should come from trust, that should come from compassion, that I'm compassionate. I don't know about the word should, but it will come, it will come from compassion. I don't know about should. If it can come some other way, fine. But it will come from compassion. Yes, it will. Because wisdom comes from compassion. When you're wise, it's going to be, everything's going to be fine. And then you can help other people who don't see that to see it by being compassionate to them so that they would be willing to accept your wisdom. And maybe in order to accept your wisdom, they might have to trust you for a while.

[55:49]

And then after they trust you for a while, you can say, okay, now I think we're at a stage in our relationship where you can stop trusting me. Well, who's laughing? Come on, fess up. Who's laughing? Is consciousness a compounded phenomenon? Yes. It is. And all the dharmas that appear in consciousness, like the sense of self and the things that, you know, the activities, they're all compounded phenomena. And our unconscious mind is also a compounded phenomena. And our body is an uncompounded phenomena. Part of the reason that the consciousness is compounded, a big part of it, is the body. The unstable body.

[56:50]

You know what I mean? So, like, when people get a certain age, their body changes. And because their body changes, their memory changes. Because the memory is somewhat bodily, you know, bodily. It's somewhat brainy. And the brainy is changing. So, the memory changes and the consciousness changes. So, in older minds, the observation of there's a face and they're one of my best friends and I know they're one of my best friends, I love them very much, you know, and yeah, that's about it. We had this ceremony last Sunday at Green Gulf, I mean, City Center, to ... No, no, it wasn't Sunday. It was last Friday. We had a ceremony at City Center,

[57:53]

Zen Center in City, Linda Ruth's Stepping Down Ceremony. Stepping Down's ... Linda Cutts. Linda Cutts, yeah. Oh, no, right. Linda was at Linda Cutts' Stepping Down Ceremony. So, Linda and I are old friends with Linda Cutts. I've been friends with Linda Cutts, who was the abbess of San Francisco Zen Center for 54 years. 54 years I've been friends with her. Oh, yeah. You know, like, when she was just coming out of high school, she worked at the Minnesota State Fair, and I was, yeah, and I was delivering ice at the fair, and she worked in a ice cream stand and I delivered ice to her. Yeah. Yeah, amazing. And then I went to study Zen and I said, don't come until I get settled. And after four years,

[58:54]

I said, okay, you can come. And she came and became the central abbess of Zen Center. Wow. Did you say wow? Yeah, wow. Wow. But then, after a long time of devoted service to Zen Center, she stepped down last Friday. Right? And Linda and I were there, and one of the people who spoke in appreciation of her was her husband. And he was talking about their relationship and how she was the best thing that's happened in his life. And then he said, and then the day came when our daughter Sarah was born. And he talked a little bit about what an astounding thing that was. And then he stopped. And there was a pause because another kid came. But he didn't say anything about the other kid. So his wife said, and Davey? And he said,

[59:59]

I'm getting to that. Or, you know, I know there was another one, but I wasn't quite, I wasn't quite there yet. This is an unstable mind. It's a fragile, our memory is fragile. But even though it's fragile, we can love it. We can love it. And if you love it, it appreciates it. And sometimes when you can't remember somebody's name and you love your inability to remember, guess what happens? You remember. The memory says, okay, thanks for waiting. Here's what you were looking for, I think. If you love your fragile, waning memory, it'll work just fine.

[61:00]

If you don't, it's going to be a very sad day after day. Yes? Yes. But consciousness isn't always happening. But when there's consciousness, there's five aggregates. So, yeah. Is there a state of awakeness that's not unconscious, not asleep, but something else where those activities aren't happening? Is there a state of awakeness

[62:02]

where consciousness is not happening? Is that your question? If we're defining it by all those formations and fictions. Yeah, so consciousness, what I mean by consciousness, it's a mind where there's a sense of self, and there's a sense of perception, and there's feeling, and there's, I have one little caveat to tell you later, and there's physical data coming in, and there's all kinds of emotions and mental formations, and there's an overall pattern to the whole consciousness called thinking. So there's always a pattern, and again, the pattern is defined as wholesome, unwholesome, and neutral. That's always the case with consciousness. Okay? But consciousness is not always activated. The unconscious,

[63:02]

when we're deeply asleep, the unconscious sometimes turns the consciousness off to enhance the sleep. It's more restful to turn the consciousness off. And the unconscious is still functioning, but the consciousness is turned off. by the way, when the consciousness gets turned on, different consciousnesses when you're sleeping are more or less restful. So, sometimes when you're sleeping you have no consciousness, only unconscious process, sometimes when you're sleeping you have the unconscious and the conscious, and the conscious is a restful conscious. And other times you have not restful consciousness, which is called REM sleep. You're asleep, you're conscious, and you're not getting any rest. But, some other good work might be going on. Because there are times when the REM sleep's turned off, you're conscious, and you're resting. But a deeper rest

[64:04]

comes when you just turn the consciousness off. And that happens to a lot of people most nights. They have a certain period where the consciousness is turned off. And then the unconscious, and the unconsciousness turns it off. And then the unconsciousness turns it back on. When it figures out with its vast experience it's time to wake it up again. Now, what about being awake? Basically there's three. Conscious, there's body, unconscious, conscious, and then there's wisdom. And it's another mind. But there's no self there. It's just the understanding of the relationship between all these things in consciousness. So for example, I was talking about before, there's a mind which is the intimacy of what's going on in consciousness. It's a mind. Intimacy is a mind

[65:04]

that can accompany, that does accompany consciousness. And that's wisdom. And we can train the consciousness in such a way as to open to that wisdom which is already there. The intimacy is already there. So we train the consciousness to help it accept and open to wisdom which is already there. Because wisdom is just the way that the whole situation is working, including not only within consciousness, but the relationship between conscious and unconscious, and the relationship between unconscious and the body, and the relationship between the body and the way the body appears in consciousness which is not the body but a mental representation. All the way, all that works is a mind which we call wisdom. And the way it all is harmonizing and working together with all other beings is also wisdom. And that's Buddha activity.

[66:05]

Is that wisdom or is that a mind? No, wisdom is a mind. We have this expression which you probably have heard, Buddha mind. The mind of the great sage of India is intimately transmitted from India to China. The mind, Buddha is a mind. The way you all support me and the way I support you is a mind. What does it mean? It's an awareness. It's a knowing. But it's not like a conscious knowing which is very tiny and enclosed and usually quite confused. It's an unconfused... It's like light. It's like a radiant light. That's also an awareness.

[67:07]

And we call it Buddha activity, Buddha mind. And it... It encourages people to practice in a way that will help them realize peace and ease in a world where there's lots of dis-ease and strife. And that's what this class is about, that mind, which is an activity. It's not just like It's... It's a... That's working. Like one time I went into the Tathagat Zendo and I was late. I'd never seen this before. Usually I would go into the Zendo and some people would be sitting and I would go sit or I was already sitting and they would come in. But I never was like standing there looking at the people sitting. This is like the first time I actually saw

[68:10]

what the teacher would see. Because the teacher is usually looking up, facing out, looking at the students. I saw the people sitting and I looked at the people sitting and I thought, you know, I thought, this is like the generator room of Hoover Dam. You know, if you go into the generator they have these long like cylindrical generator things and they're going and of course the electricity is going someplace else but you can feel the generation of the energy. You can feel those magnets zipping around, humming. You feel the presence of like the lights of Las Vegas are right here. Laughter We all, the way we're all working together is a great activity. It's a great light

[69:13]

and it can free people from being stuck in their little consciousnesses and it sends all kinds of teachings to help us realize that everything that's going on in consciousness is worthy of compassion and none of it's worthy of trust. It's unstable, unreliable, not worthy of confidence but it is worthy of compassion and it's an opportunity to realize Buddha activity which starts by practicing compassion but eventually the compassion overflows itself into realizing this mind so that it's no longer compassion for these these unstable beings. It's like it's mutual.

[70:15]

It's not, it's going in both directions simultaneously. It's mutually inclusive. It's reciprocal. So it spills over from you to it to it to you and both in the same time. I didn't get into the ritual too much but we have some more classes so please come. No, I said I said more but we could also say we have two more plus we have two more plus two more. Yeah, we have two more plus two more plus one. And also I just want to tell you that I've been a busy boy lately besides going to a lot of ceremonies for my friends like I had a class last night about guess what Buddha activity.

[71:17]

I have this meeting and then on Thursday night I have another session and you're invited to come particularly because we're going to talk about something you want me to talk about. Yeah. And then Saturday I have another talk and then Sunday I have another talk. What did you say? Did somebody say a lot? Anyway I'm kind of like somebody somebody I won't tell you looked at my schedule and said are you getting senile to agree to this? I think I laughed just like I just did then. But I could see how one might think I was not understanding what I got or what I'm getting myself into.

[72:17]

But actually it's okay. These things are going to happen and it'll be fine. But just remember I'm not reliable. If people think I'm reliable they're going to be frustrated. No, I'm not reliable because I don't realize Buddha activity we realize Buddha activity. We the way we are practicing together that's Buddha activity not what I'm doing. I'm unreliable. The Buddha is Buddha activity. The historical Buddha was unstable. The historical Buddha was fragile. History is fragile. But history is part of what we love.

[73:18]

We have to be compassionate to history. History is history is not reliable. But that doesn't mean we don't give it our whole life and our whole heart. We should do that. That would be great. We've got a lot of history to be compassionate towards. So we can become intimate with it and find peace. We don't want to ignore history. No. We want to embrace it intimately. We're learning how to embrace history. And that process is Buddha activity. And that is trustworthy. And that's again come back to faith that's what I'm betting on. I'm betting on that. I'm not betting on me. You know I am I'm not reliable.

[74:19]

I'm committed not to be reliable. I'm committed to be compassionate. I'm committed to being generous. I'm committed to being careful. I'm committed but my commitment is not stable. It's changing every moment it changes. And then even though it changes I can still say it again. I am committed. So I'm like the Golden Gate Bridge. I'm constantly like I'm in constant maintenance. And I'm falling apart. My vows are falling apart. My commitments are falling apart. My commitments and my vows are unstable. All my practices and my body everything is unstable and I'm committed to be compassionate to this unstable situation. T.S. Eliot said how can there be an end to a drifting wreckage? So

[75:22]

I'm taking care of an unstable unreliable irrepressible undeniable inconceivable life. I do but do the other people. Why don't you ask them? Is it OK if she asks a question? How about that? How about that? How about that? There is some commitment to reliability. There is commitment and the commitment is unstable.

[76:23]

We do go over the Golden Gate Bridge every day and we don't worry it's going to collapse because we know that it's going to maybe someday it will collapse. We see you not only show up we see you demonstrate passion and humor and thoughtful ideas and so we trust you because we yes, we might understand that it's difficult for you to fall apart but we trust you. Every time I say I'm going to be here I show up. So that makes it hard for you to understand reality. Sorry! I'm sorry! I did miss once you know I missed one time

[77:27]

in the 20 some years that was when the Richmond Bridge broke and there was a space and you couldn't you know the car stopped. That was the one time I didn't make it. However and so the fact that I've come all the other times it makes it harder for you to accept the teaching that I'm unreliable. I didn't say I'm not committed I'm not committed to reliable I'm committed to being committed I'm committed to being compassionate I'm committed to come over here to be with you. I am committed to it but my commitment is like it's unstable. It's alive my commitment is alive. It's a living thing. It's not a dead commitment. It's not a piece of

[78:28]

indestructible whatever there was you know there's no such thing that's not fragile. A piece of metal is also fragile. You know you can pull it apart if you're really strong or if it's really little. Things are compounded phenomena including steel and diamonds are fragile. Everything in a different way. So I'm committed not to be reliable I'm not committed to be reliable I'm committed to be loving I'm committed to be patient I'm committed to be enthusiastic and So maybe if I sang more

[79:32]

you could understand the teaching better and then you and then and you're not reliable so you maybe gang up on me and put your hand over my mouth so I'll stop singing. Anyway see you later.

[79:47]

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