i just started this funny thing to say but i didn't buy that maybe i should say because it's not that funny
so
i thought that that would be funded by the other thing i didn't notice funny or not

i'd like to talk to you about
faith and also
ah
i think kind of maybe you shortly after the class last week the thought popped up on my mind which i think of every five or ten years for the last fifty years is something that somebody said and i don't know if it was
one a psychoanalyst ah
oh wrote about zan or who said it but somebody said zen
is psychoanalysis plus ritual
psychoanalysis plus richer or together with ritual

so i like that in our topic that i'd like to discuss with you
at some point before too long
another thing that the
yeah so

another thing is
that
i don't know think an example of a possible example of ritual
is that
on tuesday night you come here and you sit
right
and you sit with some other people
right
and you could say well i just go and sit with other people but somebody else could say
i going to sit with other people
as and to perform a ritual
and a ritual which
creates
our community
the creates a and ah
an assembly and the assembly is not just living on tuesday night
but tuesday nights when we do the the kind of the ritual and you could do other versions of it but that's one of the ritual at one of the things you can say we're doing here is a ritual
to enact
i might have said create but he went to an act something so there's a community here and we do a ritual which an accent which performs it but it's there whether we do to performance or not
it lives between it lived between tuesdays and after series of classes are over it's still a living thing have you noticed the community
so that's like it just something about rachel
i'm also ah
i said that
buddha activity is living in silence and stillness
so one aspect of silence and stillness
is
psycho analysis
so i bribed been proposing to for some time that stillness is always present
but if you do not perform it
you may not realize it
and an order to perform it you may have to do some psycho analysis
not necessarily going to him psychiatrist in in some office in berkeley but right here in this class and between the classes you can do psycho analysis which is basically to
camelot to in this class in conversation to psychoanalysis and conversation psychoanalysis can be done into personally
like clear
you can do it like with an analyst and an hour and then and now sand they can get together and have a conversation make sense and in that conversation they're they're doing psycho analysis
but you can also do psycho analysis
interests i quickly like freud and analyzed himself right
it's clear that you can cycle analyze yourself
like you can look inwardly and you can see
if you're willing
to be where you are
or if you're kind of like wiggling and trying to get away from where you are and
this and but why you think of the other place you're not appreciating where you are where you're thinking it because you can i can think of another place like
oakland i can think oakland but i don't feel drawn away from here when i think of oakland
make sense
i'm disturbed by twenty quid while the conversations and sound here
called cycle but what i'm doing here is i'm saying is psycho analysis that our conversations our conversations to help you allow yourself to be here
where was it
yeah i'm not talking your freudian psychoanalysis i'm talking about rob anderson psychoanalysis
i'm talking about suzuki roshi psycho analysis i'm talking about zen psycho analysis
the purpose of zen psycho analysis is to be able to be here but most people need a lot of help to be here like a baby going to sleep at night they need help to be present so they can go to sleep makes sense their wiggling all over the place
ace
and we're trying to help them by having by psychoanalyzing with them and trying to help them like be here so they can relax because it's hard to relax when you're running around the house which they sometimes you want to do or when you're screaming
you know and that's why we sometimes before psychoanalysis at night we tell them we do not want to give them sugar
because the analysis doesn't go as well if they got a lot of sugar in them
it is then we're not trying to make descends to and go to sleep though we're trying to help them be present and awake
but they need you oftentimes they need to tell themselves various soothing stories
or be told by their teacher soothing stories and be able to ask questions about various things and her teacher can help them notice whether the discussion is taking them away from being here are helping them be here
this is a psych and then at an analysis of the mind that working for you know linda
better yeah
so we're doing psychoanalysis right now i'm inquiring about your psyche how is it you say better and then i tell you this is psycho analysis and i'm doing with you i'm not psychoanalyzing you i'm psychoanalyzing our conversation
by the way for not alive to defend himself but i was about to quote him before linda
raised her little hand say i for me to stop her you started saying the word analysis yeah because they needed by stepping back from using the mind
yeah and that fortune and those thoughts you're having your telling us about so you're doing psychoanalysis while you tell us about your ideas of psychoanalysis
why wouldn't say i'm analyzing
yeah i know you wouldn't say that but i'm saying that and that's that's why i'm here is to help you to cycle analysis when you don't think you're doing psychoanalysis and you don't see and actually i'm not stepping back to do psychoanalysis i'm not stepping forward i'm listening to you
and when i listened to you i see how your words work and then i say things to you in response
and you so you're telling me you have another ideas of analysis and by you telling me that you have another idea of analysis you have just read analyzed your mind and and tell me about it you've told me i have in my mind another idea from analysis from what we're doing you have to
you'd have just analyze your mind and reported it
and yeah i don't think you stood step back when you did that i think you are right there looking in your mind seeing which ahead and telling me and everybody else about it
that i wouldn't say i canada a in my view
we be and i'm saying in my view of analysis you did
yeah
a truce that's another analysis truce you saw this as an argument as a fighter
is that right i thought it could get to if
you know that okay
psychoanalysis here you you want are you ready to do some more psychoanalysis
you showed me something about your mind by telling by saying truce
you showed me that you were thinking that things were getting kind of i don't know what
yeah and this this is analysis this is this and this test analysis now this mixture divide to discriminate
and also you just you and that you discriminated you analyzed what you thought i was talking about as analysis and what you thought was analysis that's an analysis
and also to say that this is the same as there is another analysis
so now what do you think as analysis other than that
hmm
stay with it
did you don't want to tell us where do you think analysis is
you don't have to
i'm talking to her
you have to
yeah i think my mind
by
again
yeah
and i will say that that awareness of what's going on in your mind and in describing it as boggled isn't an analysis you you looked in there you said it's boggles not on boggled you know you you looked at it you categorize it and reported among the various
possible stories if you could tell about and you chose that one i mean it would destroy it was chosen
and i asked people i say sometimes are you present
and then they look in an essay various things sometimes they say no sometimes they say kind of sometimes they say yes but that's a that's an urgent inquiry into their mind and analyzing present and not present and coming up with i don't know
yes no that's an analysis
oh
hey what
okay
and for the moment yeah and when you've noticed that when you looked inside for the moment that was another analysis that you looked inside he found this word for the moment
now you can speak not charlie if you want
yeah
look but first check and see if you want
ah
i guess it's is it
reading
during analysis using the discriminating mine
is it seems like days said that he has his is the subject object division and is his previous
a good way to the cetera problems to that we can he then
analysis
seems to me a reliever
skirts so my
of
fully present
no wonder this
well here also me
yes as mere fact
ah learning how to
learning how to accept being still
is necessary for the most profound analysis
and most people need to do quite a bit of analysis in order to allow themselves to be still
most people say i can't be still i gotta i gotta i gotta think about this i gotta i gotta plan this trip i got you know i gotta think about that they would not allow themselves
when they noticed the reasons why they don't allow themselves to be still i would say they're analyzing their noticing the reasons that they don't feel they can allow themselves to just be here
and when you actually allow yourself to be here you can see very clearly all
there is an image of this being separate from that and you can see that is nonsense because you're so still
but in order to again to have the most revolutionary and profound insights
into analysis for example the analysis of self and other as an analysis the analysis of enlightenment and delusion so pivotal part of this class is the buddha activity which is enlightenment and delusion living together
or and pivoting on each other that's an analysis that's two things
a one thing has been analyzed into this and that
to see that clearly
occurs in stillness and cars in accepting and realizing stillness yes he is that noticing
the analysis notice noticing what the separation
yeah i think you you can notice without without analysis i think i'm like and there can be noticing blue
that doesn't necessarily analysis
pardon
well you said guilty know analysis analysis as part of wisdom
wisdom analyzes
but some other buddhist practices do not know analyze like for example
giving yourself you can do that without analyzing
being careful you can be careful without analyzing
and by doing
by doing practicing generosity without analyzing and being careful without analyzing your mind starts to accept stillness and in the stillness
you can see you can see you can discover
that your mind is analyzing it's it already doing analysis all the time but the but the practices are not necessarily analysis
so you analyze blue and not blue and red and green your mind does that self and other enlightenment delusion good and bad buddhas and living biggs the mind is doing those kinds of things
and we're not turn to stop it were trying to be able to look at it and the and be aware of the analysis and see the analysis as an illusion
as in a loser as a process of illusion
that's why yeah and but we need to use analysis in order to study analysis profoundly
because a lot of our analytic activity is disturbing us
for example me separate from you is an analysis of our relationship
it's a mistake but it's instead to and not and that makes me agitated and afraid whenever i separate myself from you there's some anxiety there
like i'm gonna hurt you met on you're going to hurt me i don't want to hurt you i don't want you to hurt me that kind of stuff comes up what should we do now all that comes up from analysis of that analysis is deluded analysis but they're good there can also be wise analysis
this
just thinking over an example
come up in my workplace with students and they're sitting with a group of students and we were preparing he said music and and again one day doing some analysis of score looking to the square and i began wondering a to really know what we're doing what are we doing an analyst
full color
houses and you know that suits were really coming up with that there were noticing a sailor ever seeking it out on now interpreting different marks and music etc and i began to ask you know what are we so what are we really doing here why do we analyze and widely my
and i i was really wondering for myself against this valuable sitting character the student should be singing and tick making the music performing music and on a kind of been struck me that our it was the way none of us becoming closer with music as
way or right right
yeah i said it's not a way to get to narrows the way to learn a yeah it's one way it is one way to do it another way to do it is just sing along
yeah yeah
yeah i mean and esteem right in front of me was
good looking at me and i said just just like you know and marcus and i e no for as to get close to return to know each other we have to be in the same room together perhaps there and will need to do stuff together to engage with each other in some way and one way of engaging is to sing together and runway to advocating my hg talked together and the
another winner might be to steady stuff together and so i i think you know and this is coming up
listen to anything past so it's fair to the conversation in now themes i mean yeah i mean as a teacher sometimes they go through things that are about at way and maybe just for said
at revolution in a sense that just came up with all of us there were doing all this so know that when said
you know that fans can then each has played the final say again
are closer in our understanding together about what those pieces and then when we open our our bodies in memory that seem together we have we can enter it more fully
yeah
i'm so i just want to review when a manager said
that one way to see analysis of the music is away to become intimate with the music but also simultaneously intimate with each other
or where the music is for is for us to be intimate
and now analyzing it sometimes is the way his a way to be intimate but also seen together is another way
and but the singing doesn't necessarily require analysis or the singing doesn't necessarily get into the analysis because we were singing were still might feel like our minds still might be analyzing ourselves and the music and ourselves and the other singers the maestro don't want be doing that but for the time being we just let the analysis
as go unexamined and that's okay sometimes
when you can also turn around and look at the to what your minds analyzing the music performance
and i just i wanted to tell the story by freud okay so the quote which some of your heard before is what to say early you know the court already
okay so freud are in spoke german was to the time and he was a very good writer and one of the things i've heard translated into english was
human beings are powerful isolated
fantasy machines
the and again for i'm not here to to just talk with me about this but i would say i agree that human beings are powerful fantasizes
i agree with that part but i do not agree that they're isolated
i don't agree with pride that were isolated i think we are and by by cycle analyzing he didn't get there
sorry
by cycle analyzing our fantasies that were isolated if he had been able to thoroughly analyze in stillness his fantasy that we were separate
he would have become free of that fantasy and for example he would have stopped hating americans
so what i'm talking about is analyzing our fantasies of isolation and separation and thereby become free of our fantasies were not isolated but we fantasize that we are
and he wasn't but he fantasized that he was but he was correct he wasn't fantasizing when he noticed study was fantasizing
a lot of insight about fantasy but he didn't notice that the fantasy about separation that that the update the idea of fan of separation was a fantasy he didn't get that point but buddhist have taught us that we are fantasizes and one of the main fantasies that troubles us
is that were separate from music
and flowers and other people and food
and we come by these fantasies honestly but we can analyze in stillness these fantasies and become free of them
yes
hey
awesome
is it possible to become free of the delusion of
yeah i through faith
yeah you could you could believe for example that practicing generosity is really important to you
and you and nuke again for me i use the word faith as what i bet on
so one might bet on practicing generosity
somehow one might be like jenner generosity is the most important thing and i'm going to put all problem all my chips on the practice of generosity
hey so they start practicing generosity
and you notice in the process of practicing generosity that you feel separate from other people
you may have been somewhat aware but before but not practicing generosity
makes you more aware of it
i'm the one being generous and also i do want to be generous with these people but i don't want to be generous with those people you start noticing that kind of stuff like i'm willing to give everything to this person in this person i died on one
this person i almost feel not separate from
and because i feel almost not separate from them i really am like really okay with giving them
my whole life
full fledged whole hearted giving is very similar to not been caught by the sense of separation it can still see that the grandchild standing over there but you don't feel separate maybe almost no separation and you can you can act like
you thought they were you
you can do for them what you would do for yourself
so that
yeah
the article sagan it's sometimes easier to be
maybe so and if it is and you do it it might help you realize that you're not separate from them so i'm saying is that generosity isn't set out to be analysis but when you start practicing it you start again the your analytic minds shows itself and you notice how
here i feel generous in here i feel stingy that's analysis you're not trying to win now analyze but the practice of giving which is a practice of being together and giving yourself to others you your your analytic my shows itself and sometimes you see it's kind of getting in the way of the giving and if you if you continue to practice
giving which is not usually called analysis
the the analytic side your mind shows itself and you practice giving and you be you you learn how to not be caught by your analysis
so part of wise analysis is to not be caught by analysis cause analysis is this is is duality this is this and it's not this wise analysis helped you get not get trapped by the analysis so the analysis ah
to going on me and you that to duality and wise analysis i don't get trapped by that anymore
and i'm pre of him
and giving is one of the ways to overcome that unwise analysis which is to separate ourselves from our environment from other beings and then suffer because we're trapped by their separation so that the analysis is not so bad but it's to fall into it
and get trapped by it
and we are often trapped by the good guys in the bad guys were trapped by we get stuck in a in a duality
and practicing generosity would be one of the things to help us not be trapped by that that analysis that distinction
you see there
no well
no you can see the thoughts of so we can see this sorts of separation
for example we can see the thought that enlightenment is separate from delusion we can see that many people can see that stupid and smart we can see that but the practice is not to be trapped by the distinction between enlightenment and delusion it's not to the practice
isn't to go over to the enlightenment and forget about the delusion it's to have them both not be trapped in either one and realize that they include each other to realize that in enlightenment there is delusion
and to realize it in delusion there is enlightenment this comes
as a little bit of a gift which is real awakening is to see that enlightenment isn't or something that has gotten rid of all delusion it is the understanding of delusion and delusion is the lack of understanding of enlightenment
they included in each other
if you're not trapped in the duality of the to than you can see hey i'm not trapped by the duality i guess they could be like real close friends they could be like including each other and the way enlightenment includes delusion and the way delusion is included enlightenment that
is buddha activity
put activity isn't just to be enlightened with no darkness and certain that it also isn't to be in dark with no enlightenment with no light
it is however to be dark with light
and it is to be late with dark
that time you say that activity
is it still is still yeah
it's an activity and stillness who it's like in stillness in being where you and that's why again there needs to be psychoanalysis for us to allow ourselves to spend part of our life not going anywhere
to somehow allow ourselves to be completely year and no place else which of course we are we know that but we don't act like it even more sittings fairly still we still don't really believe in stillness we still believe in billy being completely who we are
we need to talk ourselves into it and usually we need we need a teacher or friends to help us
gonna sing us a lullaby where we settle into where we are and then there

wake up
tyler
asked why guy is
why that
excuse me can i say something why it isn't necessarily analysis but why why doesn't die why doesn't if if you really knew how to say why and actually what is even better but if you know how to do that you're not analyzing your opening
like what's going on or how these questions to question in the proper way is not to try to it
you're like trying to wake up to the situation so questioning aids the analysis helps the analysis become free of itself
but if you say a if you ask a question like why to try to get something that's not an open question if you ask a question as a gift
that questioning will help your analysis not get stuck
as a
say again
analysis is like observation it's observation but it's observation of duality it's observation of things being split
of your consciousness
and noticing that there's a sense of self
and a sense of other there's a sense of self and what at omens sub but the the announce isn't isn't set up the sense of self being separate is to say oh there's that and there's that and then to observe that
mix the analysis be deep so she can see how arbitrary it is to say the self owners the thing and it helps you be able to see that you could also say that the thing on the self and you can also observe that does not usually the way it goes but you could also observed that it could be
reversed
and the questioning helps it helps lubricate the situation so that things are usually stuck in in this one directional relationship can turn and go on the other direction and if instead of i own my if a
sort of i own these words these words on me is also allowed then we get to see that neither one of the on that my that these words are not mine even though i tend to say my words but there's me and these words and there's also the idea that i own the words but
it could also be an idea in this class know he had the idea of the words on me as equally valid
but not usually allowed now i allow it when i allow it i realized well actually i don't own the words and the words don't mean we live together
we're all was in together these words and me but neither one of his own each other now he had some sense that the words and me are not separate which they aren't they call arise there's no words coming up and consciousness without self there's no self coming up without the words that come up to
gather they live together but they're usually stuck in a a pattern like i own it
and i don't know that these are mine these are not mine
and that's rigid and stressful and makes this he's gay
this ease but by practicing intimacy with this this ease which are analytic mind is creating
k analytic mind is saying self other mine not mine and then creating it and be rigid about it this is right this is okay but been intimate with this disease
we will have these
in order to become intimate with the dis-ease of this music
we have to be kind to it and generous towards it and give it our intention and be careful of it and tender with it
and then we will be intimate with the analytic process that creates our stress and disease and we will find ease in that intimacy without getting rid of
all the things that are there
as process as
asking questions or responses to it is a mechanism by which
or
yes this is analysis
applied to analysis we have analytic mind if we're not intimate with it it is what we sometimes call a loose cannon
it's a troublemaker if it doesn't get a lot of compassion
without any each without being related to with compassion without realizing intimacy with this analytic mind it is a stress maker
it slips into being rigid it analyzes and fix it fixes the analysis so psychoanalysis in the friday incense on a comeback shouldn't speak for friday and sense but some psychoanalyst what they're basically trying to do it or helping people
become free of the rigidity of their analysis so they have some life flowing through their body because they're they put themselves in all these little boxes and they're extremely stressed so they smoke a lot of cigars
and get jaw cancer and are very grumpy because then for i did not successfully get intimate with his
analytic mind but he did learn a lot about it and have lot of insights but he didn't get some intimate enough to find ease
but he he tried to help other people do that and i think sometimes he may be had been somewhat successful
citizens i asked
exactly
it's it's about enhancing the it's it is it's about the word supporting and promoting intimacy questioning if has done as a gift rather than trying to get answers from most intimacy
like how are you today tyler
how do you feel about what i just said do you think i'm listening to you
do you see us a separate
do you feel present
jason feedback from me
the these as gifts promote intimacy between us
and all those things were speaking to your analytic mind
which you know i might be interested in having our conversation how both of us become more intimate with ourselves and he and each other
yes sir is fine graph of
i
a man

you you think that
and i would say that for you maybe that's where you're at
that that for you that's necessary but i i could imagine that i don't trust the person
and i still could analyze our relationship and and become intimate with our relationship
excuse me in like my granddaughter doesn't it's not like kim just said she needed the person to be
i don't trust my dog granddaughter the way you say you needed to be trust
i can i can want to be intimate with somebody who does not have these qualities you said you needed
i can want that and i do want it but she doesn't have any less paul does you said you needed
no
that
jeremy twenty one
hey
okay so here we go it's here's the big news for the last few seconds
compounded phenomena are not trustworthy
compounded phenomena are not trustworthy
compounded
and they're not trustworthy they're unstable
there are subject to change their not trustworthy now if i say that i'm my granddaughter maybe you say
you say okay

well like she's she's she's put together with you know arms and legs and a psyche and in environment we human beings are compounded phenomenon trees are compounded phenomena cars or buildings rivers oceans all phenomena like that
compound phenomenon and they're all unstable bridges are not worthy of confidence they're unstable they are they're they're not trustworthy back in minneapolis a few years ago a main bridges and city fell down
and people got really upset
yeah
bridges are unstable the golden gate bridge is unstable they have a constant maintenance crew working on it because it is it's fragile
whoa
we are unstable but fragile things are what we love
fragile things are the objects of our love
they're asked they're calling for compassion
so grandchildren are not trustworthy and twenty one year olds are not twenty so trustworthy and twenty two year old are not trustworthy however you're still free to trust them go ahead and trust him it's fine
and that that's something you might do but you can also not trust people but instead of trusting them you can be generous with them
you can be careful of them but like again a grandchild i don't trust her
she's like is it were in a were on the verge of disaster constantly
but i'm i'm totally there for this for this you know imminent disaster
you know and which is which is great joy from me you know when we get to the edge of the street she still was willing to hold my hand
i don't know when that's gonna stop but into a chic soon she gets it and we i get it that she cannot go industry without holding my hand too much you know she collection by walking and suddenly she just has a tremendous burst of energy goes flying into the air this and i don't want to do that in the street
so but it shows my hand she can have a burst of energy and is maybe but that doesn't mention nobody's ever going to get hurt even if hold her hand because i'm unstable to i might fall down and have a heart attack crossing the street
we are unstable we are fragile we are i am not worthy of trust and confidence
but what i am worthy i am worthy i am worthy of compassion
i'm worthy of your compassion
i am where their your compassion but i'm not trustworthy
i'm not reliable i'm not stay bulb and again i say my grand daughters that way you say okay and you see you can love my granddaughter even though she's not reliable
she's very deluded she's learning you know
yes
example
yeah emptiness that said
well yeah that's it but you can also say boot activity is not compounded
in like buddha and buddha activity is not compounded
to say
instead
if it's no it's not redundant it's a teaching it's a teaching about them is
we just we just slow down and say that more slowly seep so you i want you to slow down now really
i want you to slow down so you can hear what you're saying and me too
two six say it slowly
this is
it is
however is not compounded another com pot another phenomenon is nirvana it's not compounded another another phenomenon is space it's not compounded
buddha activity is not compounded
the way the way you all support me
in the way i support you the way we compounded beings relate to each other that's not put together
that's essential and it's always that way that we're supporting each other that's not put together
that is trustworthy
and for example the ease the ease that comes from being intimate with disease that is not compounded
it's something that core rises it doesn't it has conditions but it's not put together it come spontaneously with intimacy with what's going on
so in which is also gets a emptiness he is emptiness
with phnom with compounded phenomenon
yeah
the act me that you
is the
not emptiness is
emptiness isn't any is good activity is in his former
yeah okay so emptiness the relationship of emptiness and form okay that would activity okay but also we sometimes say that that relationship is empty
of any kind of anything to get stuck to so again that is like that's like emptiness again so emptiness isn't some thing but also buddha activity is nothing in and of itself so boot it is emptiness isn't nothing is just nothing in
no of itself
so board is not nothing is just nothing for by itself it's it's er it's relationship emptiness is relationship
an emptiness is actually act it's an activity is the way world
this incredible not incredible inconceivable is totally credible once you open to it it's the most credible thing the way we're doing this together as emptiness it's called emptiness such this buddha
and it's available all the time
and for kind to the compounded things that are unstable
you know if we become intimate with them we opened to what is reliable namely the way things aren't anything by themselves as reliable is trustworthy
but i'm not trustworthy but i am i am i'm i'm worthy of something and what am i worthy of according to me compassion i am worthy of compassion everybody in this room is worthy of compassion there's nobody in his room and compassion isn't a good thing to give him a lot of
but there's no me as room that's not fragile there's no media room that's not unstable
we're all unstable
so you can trust been kind of people but don't trust them to be a certain way don't trust it they're going to be kind to you i shouldn't say don't trust they're just not worth it you can go out and trust you can trust me it's fine and and i will i will i will probably play along with your trust
because i don't want to like undermine your trust that in soft a certain phase maybe we'd do this trust thing but i'm not worthy of it i just let you do it
like of it's good for you to think that i'm trustworthy go ahead
but i'm not
and you could say i don't care where they are not i'm just going to it it's good for me to think so would you please let me and i say yeah
and then you say
huh

hope
check
that hundred about the word should but it will come it will come from compassion and i'm not sure if it can come some other way fine
but it will come from compassion yes it will
because wisdom comes from gosh and compassion when you're wise
it's gonna be everything's gonna be fine
and then you can help other people who don't see that to see it
by being compassionate to them so that they would go on to accept your wisdom
and maybe in order to accept your wisdom that have to track the right to trick trust you for a while and then after the just for why say okay now i think we're at a stage in our relationship or you can stop trusting me
well who's laughing
come on fess up who's laughing

yes
it is and every all dharmas that appear and consciousness like the sense of self
and the things that you know the activities they're all compounded phenomenon and our unconscious mind is also a compounded phenomena and our bodies and uncompetitive phenomena part of the reason that the consciousness is compounded big part of it is the body the unstable by
the sir
when people get a certain age their body changes and because their body changes their memory changes
because the memory is somewhat bodily or you know bodily it's somewhat brainy and the brain is changing so the memory changes and the consciousness changes so an older minds there is the observation of there is a face and
and i there are one of my best friends and
i know they're my one of my best friends i love them very much in know and yeah that's about it
we had this ceremony at last sunday a green got a new city center to
no no was a sunday it was last friday
we had a ceremony at city center zen center and city linda was stepping down ceremony stepping does
get the cartier or not right linda was at linda cuts is stepping down ceremony so linda and i are old friends with linda cuts i've been friends with linda cuts who was the abbess of san francisco zen center for fifty four years
fifty four years i've been friends with her oh yeah
you know like when she was just coming out a high school she worked at the minnesota state fair and i was yeah and i was delivering ice and to sit the affair and she worked to no ice creams stand and i had delivered ice to her
yeah yeah amazing and then i went to studies and and i said don't come right don't come until i get settled
and after four years as a rookie income
and she came and became the central habits of zen center
do you say wow
yeah wow
wow so that but then after a long time of devoted service design center she stepped down last friday
right and linda i were there and one of the people who spoke in appreciation of her was her husband and he was talking about their relationship and how she was the best thing that's happened in his life and that he said and then the day came when our daughter sir was born
and he talked a little bit about what an astounding thing that was and then he stopped
and there was a pause because there's another kid came but he didn't say anything about the as a kid so his wife said and davey
and he said i'm get into that
or are you know i know i know there was another one
but i wasn't quite i wasn't quite there yet
this is a
unstable mind it's a fragile our memory is fragile
but even though it's fragile we can love it
we can love it and if you love it it appreciates it and sometimes when you can't remember somebody's name and you love your inability to remember
guess what happens
you remember the memory says okay
thanks for waiting
here is what you are looking for i think
if you love your fragile waning memory it'll work just fine if you don't is gonna be a very sad day after day yes

is it
are there are only
oh
yes
but consciousness isn't all it's happening
but when there's consciousness is it doesn't as a five aggregates
so help me
so
a
this
something out
is there a state of awakedness where consciousness is not happening
that is that your question
eh
yeah so consciousness what i mean by conscience is some it's a mind where there's a sense of self
where there's and there's a sense of
perception and there's a feeling and there's a
i have one will copy to tell you later and there's an there's physical data coming in and there's all kinds of emotions and mental formations and there's an overall pattern to the whole consciousness called thinking so there's always a pattern and the
and again the pattern has is defined as wholesome or unwholesome and neutral that's always the case with consciousness
okay
and but consequences is not always activated the unconscious when we're deeply asleep the unconscious sometimes turns the consciousness off to enhance the sleep it's more restaurant to turn the consciousness off
and the unconscious is still functioning but their consciousness has turned off
and
and also and by the way when the conscience gets turned on it's so different consciousnesses when you're sleeping are more or less restful so sometimes when you're sleeping you know consciousness all the unconscious process
sometimes when you're sleeping you have the unconscious and conscious and unconscious is a restful conscious and other times you have not restful consciousness which has called rem sleep you're asleep you're conscious you're not getting any rest but some of the good work might be going on because there are times when the
rem sleep turned off your conscious and you're resting but a deeper rest comes when you just turn the consciousness off and that happens
to a lot of people most nights they have a certain period where the consciousness is turned off
and then the unconscious and the unconsciousness turns it off and then the unconsciousness turns it back on when it figures out with its vast experience as time to wake it up again now what about being awake
basically there's three conscious there's body unconscious conscious and the nursery
wisdom and it's another mind but there's no self there it's just the understanding of the relationship between all these things in consciousness
suffers i was talking about before there's there's a there's a mind which is the intimacy of what's going on and consciousness it's a mind intimacy as a mind that can accompany that does a company
consciousness and that is that wisdom
and we can train the consciousness of center ways to open to that wisdom which is already there the intimacy is hard there so we train the consciousness to help it
except an open to wisdom which is already there because wisdom of just the way that whole situation's working including not only within consciousness but the relationship between conscious and unconscious and the relationship between unconscious in the body and the relationship between the body in the way the body appears
and consciousness which is not the body but a mental representation all the way all that works
is a mind
what you got wisdom
and the way at all is harmonizing and and working together with all other beings as also wisdom
and that's good activity
no wisdom is a mind we we we have this expression which you probably have heard buddha mind
a mind the great sage of india is intimately transmitted
from india to china the mind buddha is buddha is a mind the way you all support me in the way i support you is a mind

what does it mean
it's an awareness it's annoying but it's not like a conscious knowing which is very tiny and enclosed and and usually quite confused it's an uncut fused it's like light it's like it's like a radiant light
can we call booed activity buddha mind
can add it it it encourages people to practice in a way that will help them realize
peace and ease in a world where there's lots of dis-ease and strife
not this class about that mind which is an activity is not just display
it's it's a it's a song that's working like one time i went into the tatar zendo
and i was late
i'd never seen this before usually i'm gonna send on some people would be sitting and that and them and i would go said or i was already sitting and they would come in but i never like was like standing there looking at the people sitting
this is like the first time i actually saw
what like the teacher would see what the teachers usually looking at facing out looking at the students i saw the people sitting and i looked at the people sitting and i thought well in i thought this is like degeneration generator room of hoover dam
the
you know there's like if you go into the generator and they had these long like like cylindrical generation generate things that are going
and of course it did electricity is going some place on but you can feel the generation of the of the energy
they can feel those magnets zipping around humming feel the presence of legal the lights of las vegas are right here
we all the way we're all working together is a great activity it's a great light
and it it frick and free people from being stuck
in their little consciousnesses
and it sends all kinds of teachings to help us realize that everything that's going on and consciousness is worthy of compassion and none of us worthy of trust
it's unstable unreliable not worthy of confidence
but it is worthy of compassion and it's an opportunity to realize buddha activity which starts by practicing compassion but it eventually the compassion overflows itself into realizing this mind
so it is no longer compassion for these these unstable beings
it's like it's it's mutual it's not it's it's going in both directions simultaneously it's mutually inclusive it's reciprocal
so as spills over from you to it to it to you and both in the same time

i didn't get into the ritual too much but we have some more classes so please come
thank you know i said i said more but we can also say we have two more plus we have two more plus two more
oh yeah yeah we have two more plus two more plus one
and also you won't tell you that i've been a busy boy lately
besides going to lot of ceremonies for my friends like i had a class last night
i'm but guess what
buddha activity at this meeting and then on thursday and i'd have another session and you're invited to come particularly because we're gonna talk about something you want me to talk about
yeah and then saturday have another talk and then sunday have another dog
would you say did somebody say a lot
well
anyway i'm i'm kind of like the facility somebody i want to you look at my schedule and said
are you getting to see now
to agree to this
what did you say now i think i laughed just like i just them
but i can see how one might think i was not understanding what i got out of i'm getting myself into but actually
it's okay
these things are going to happen and it'll it'll be fine
but remember i'm not reliable
if people think reliable they're going to be frustrating
as
no i'm not reliable because i don't realize boot activity we realized board activity we the way we are practicing together that's good activity not what i'm doing i'm under like who
the buddha is buddha activity
the historical buddha was unstable
the berserker buddha was fragile history is fragile
but history is part of what we love we we have to be compassionate to history
history is history in history is not reliable but that doesn't mean we don't given her whole life and our whole heart
we we should do that that would be great and you know got a lot of history to be compassionate towards so we can so we can become intimate with it and find peace we don't want to ignore history know we want to embrace it intimately were learning how to embrace history
and that process is
buddha
activity
and that is trustworthy and that's again come back to faith that's what i'm betting on i'm betting on them i'm not betting on me
i'm i'm not reliable
i'm committed not to be reliable i'm committed to be compassionate i'm committed to being generous i'm committed to being careful as i'm committed but my commitment is that stable is changing every moment changes
and then even those changes i can still say it again i am committed
so i'm i'm like the golden gate bridge i'm constantly like
in unconscious i'm in constant maintenance
and i'm falling apart my my vowels are falling apart i commitments are falling apart my commitments in my vows are so unstable all my practices and my body everything's unstable and i'm committed to be compassionate to this unstable situation
ts eliot said how can there be an end to a drifting wreckage
so i'm take good care of an unstable unreliable irrepressible undeniable inconceivable
life

i do up to the other people wanted to ask him
it's an okay she asked a question
just about a mile in i hear what you're saying
but at the same time various a reliable that i see which is if you say you're be here are usually almost all here so how about how about that how about that
oh my bad
then there is commitment and the commitment is unstable
you go to go
your own risk of collapse you know that
sunday last just a recent years the show
demonstrate passionate you are
yes some interest
yesterday near yeah
our
like i said my dear friend the it's a free country
and you can trust me i'm just saying i'm not worthy of it that's all i'm not saying don't trust me i'm just saying i'm not worthy of and part of part of what makes me a troublesome person
every time i say i'm gonna be here i show up so that makes it hard for you to understand reality
sorry i'm sorry i did miss once you know i i missed one time in the twenty some years that was when they're the richmond bridge broke
and there was there was a space we can
and you couldn't you know the car stopped that was at one time i didn't make it however
and so the fact that i'm going i've come all the other times i know it makes it harder for you to accept the teacher that i'm unreliable
i didn't say i'm not committed i i'm i'm i'm not committed to reliable i'm committed to being committed i'm committed to being compassionate i'm committed to come over here to be with you i am committed to it from my commitment is like is unstable
it's it's alive my commitment is and i've it's a living thing is not a dead commitment it's not a piece of i indestructible whatever there was no there's no such thing that's that's not fragile a piece of metal is also
so fragile
you know if you can pull it apart if you're really strong or if it's really little
things are honest compound and phenomena including steel and diamonds are fragile
everything in a different way
so i'm committed not to be reliable i'm not committed to be reliable i'm committed to be loving and committed to be patient i'm committed to be enthusiastic
and
i'm getting their teaching cause sometimes you sing a song and get the word wrong
i you know
like
so maybe if i sang more you can understand the teaching better
and then you and then and you're not reliable so you may be gang up in and put your hand or of my mouth so of sickness anyway
i see later