To confess and repent is part of the lubrication which keeps this great effort of cherishing the benefit of others going, and it keeps the Azam practice, which is at the core of this work to benefit others, it keeps this Azam practice healthy. Samantabhadra says, again, O noble-minded person, how should one confess and repent one's evil deeds? To repent one's sins and transgressions one should think.

[01:05]

Again, I point out that to confess and repent is a kind of thinking. Confession and repentance is a kind of thinking which is the opposite of the way we usually think. It's one of the reverse modes of thought. It's one of the ways to throw the mind into reverse, into the mode of studying or learning the backward step. It's one of the ways to pull your practice out.

[02:22]

Out. It's a thing based on intellectual understanding, or pursuing words. Confession and repentance pulls your practice up out of intellectualism. It makes it really alive. So it is using the thinking which would be alive in some other way, but actually alive in the way of going towards death, alive in the way of going towards birth and death,

[03:27]

ascending it into a life which is not the life of birth and death, which is a life of freedom from birth and death. It is a way of thinking which is free of thinking. From the very beginning, from the very no beginning, in infinite eons, I have committed through lust, hatred and ignorance boundless sinful deeds with my body, tongue and mind. If such deeds were in corporeal form, the cosmic space, illimitable as it is, could

[04:29]

not contain them. With the deepest sincerity and pure deeds of body, speech and mind, I now confess and repent all of them for the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas throughout the universe, and I pledge myself never to commit them again. I will observe all pure and meritorious precepts. I will continue to practice this penance until the realm of space is ended, the realm of beings is ended, and the karma and passions of beings are ended. Since all these things, from the realm of space to the passion desires of beings are endless, this penance of mine will also be endless, throughout succeeding thought without

[05:38]

interruption in bodily, vocal and mental beings, without becoming jaded. Again, my recommendation is, if you do a simple practice like this and you keep it simple enough and keep it boring enough, you won't get tired. If you make it, if you jazz it up a little bit, you'll start getting tired. So this is a very simple practice. There it is. This is a way of thinking that is recommended by Samantabhadra. Inconceivably magnificent Bodhisattva, and yet recommending a very simple practice of compassion and repentance.

[06:52]

So there's two main dimensions here. One is a vowel, confession, admitting what you've done, and since we don't know all the things we've done, we just say, I admit all the things I've done, all the things I know I've done, and all the things I don't know I've done. I admit them all. Next, that's one aspect of admitting. The other aspect is actually saying you're not going to do any of these things anymore. That's the hard one. Or maybe they're both hard, but the second part seems to be harder. Actually, sincerely pledge yourself to never commit them again. In order to really pledge ourselves not to do them again, we would do well to develop sincere regret.

[08:27]

Again, regret is not exactly guilt, but simply seeing that that led to that and how unfortunate that is, and really we don't like that combination. In fact, that combination occurs when we do the first part. Doing that leads to that second part there, and we don't like that second part. So we really don't want the first part either. Part of it is to look at the thing more carefully and see more clearly how destructive it is. But there's other ways, too, to develop this sense of remorse and regret. And another difficulty is, even after you have quite strong regret and you're willing to,

[09:37]

maybe you would be willing to pledge yourself to not do this action again, and some people then hesitate because they say, well, but I might do it again. And I think that that one is, again, I don't know what to say exactly, but I think it's okay to say right now that right now I promise not to do it, and right now I don't want to do it. I may slip, but right now I dedicate myself, I promise not to do it. I promise myself and everybody else not to do it. It's making a commitment. Making a commitment. So the first part, admitting, the second part, the end part is making a commitment to goodness.

[10:44]

If we don't practice right conduct and develop goodness and work for the benefit of other beings, we'll feel pretty bad, but we'll feel a little worse if we commit ourselves to it and then don't do it. In between the evolved and the final sincere promise, developing regret, but also there is two other things, two other kinds of things you can do. One is recourse to our sponsor, recourse to the triple treasure, reliance on the triple treasure, and there are also many practices which we can do. So once you, in the process of confession and repentance, after you actually admit what you've done,

[12:00]

then in some sense you can bring in all Buddhist practice and use all of Buddhist practice to take this confession and work it up to the point where you actually then could promise and vow not to do it anymore. So you first admit what you've done and then you take refuge in the Buddha and the Dharma and the Sangha. Just taking refuge in them will nurture this confession and bring it along towards maturity. It isn't like you confess and then you have to clean yourself up.

[13:12]

You don't actually do that on your own. You confess and the Buddha, by the Buddha nature, cleans you up. The purification is sponsored by Buddha, supported by Buddha, derives from Buddha. The purification derives from Buddha's teaching. So, after you confess, reciting Buddha's teaching, thinking of Buddha's teaching, reading Buddha's teaching, cultivates and matures your confession towards a strong, unshakable determination not to do these kinds of things anymore.

[14:21]

And relying on the Sangha also matures the confession. But relying on the Buddha is the main thing that helps. Seeing Buddha is the main thing that helps to take your confession to the point where you can say, I'm just not going to do it again. Again, seeing Buddha is not to have objects of thought.

[15:42]

When there are no objects of thought, you're seeing Buddha. When you have no objects of thought, and you have confessed, then you will eventually be able to say, what I just confessed, I will not do this again. Having no objects of thought is bliss. It's sustaining bliss, a bliss that makes you feel like, I actually can say this. I can actually say, I won't do this again. In this state of objectless awareness, I can say, I will not do any evil ever again. If you're in a state of objects of thought, of having objects, it's pretty hard to say, I won't do this again.

[17:00]

Even a small thing, you probably couldn't say very well, I won't do this again. You say, I'd rather not, but to say, I will not do even this small thing again, if you have objects of thought, it would be pretty difficult, because who's saying that? Some weak little person is saying this, I won't do this thing again. For example, for me, I can say, I won't smoke cigarettes anymore. It's more easy for me to say, I don't even smoke. But, I can't even say that, if I have objects of thought, I might. Without objects of thought, I can say, I will not do one single solitary thing that would harm anybody, ever, period. I can say that in the state of having no objects of thought. So, once you have seen something which you regret, which is not helpful,

[18:11]

once you've seen it and confessed it, then the next thing you must do is you must see Buddha. You must have no objects of thought. Same thing. Then, just sit there for a little while, and you will eventually be able to say, I'm not going to do this anymore. I'm not going to do anything which will harm anybody, anymore. You can say that when there's no objects of thought. That's why we practice objectless awareness, is so we can actually, confidently, sincerely say, Hey, I'm going to be good, and there's no question about it, and I'm never going to fall down, and I'm never going to give up.

[19:14]

And good means, I'm going to work for the benefit of other beings. I'm going to cherish other beings from now on, non-stop, and I'm not going to give up. You say, I, but the point is, I is not talking. What's talking is Buddha. What's talking is no objects of thought. That can talk like that. Once you're one with your life, you can make outrageous statements like, I'm just planning to be helpful, and never think of anything but helpfulness from now on. You can say it then. Because that's where that helpfulness comes from. It comes from just simply being one with all life. But if there's the slightest discrepancy, well, you name it, there's problems. So the main thing which makes confession then work,

[20:21]

really transform you and set you on your way to help people, the main thing that makes it happen is this objectless awareness. And confession, successful, mature confession and repentance makes objectless awareness possible. So, in one sense, you can't really, you can confess, I think, before you achieve objectless awareness, but you can't really complete the confession and really, really promise never to do it again until you practice zazen. So, you confess, practice zazen, and then you finish the confession. And when you finish the confession, then you can really do zazen. And when you can do zazen, well, that's it. And you're doing it. However, you don't stop confessing just because now you're doing zazen.

[21:25]

So you confess again. And in order to bring your confession to maturity, you practice zazen. And then it comes to maturity, and then you can practice zazen. But as Samantabhadra says, I'm not going to stop doing this confession. I don't just do it once, successfully. I do it over and over again. How does self-sacrifice work? How does self-sacrifice work? Sure. Because again, human failings are just, at the basis, as we're talking about in this class, human failings are just the way the mind works. And the mind naturally makes objects. So that's the basic thing that you do.

[22:27]

The basic mistake. The basic thing you confess is that you think dualistically. That's the basic confession. The basic confession is, I have objects of thought. And if you say, I'm not going to have any more objects of thought, well, the best way to do it is just to have no objects of thought, and then say, I have no objects of thought, and this will continue. This will continue. Of course, it doesn't continue. But I'm going to do it again, in other words. Everything changes. There's nothing to get a hold of, but I'm going to continuously recreate objectless awareness. Just like I'm doing now, I'm going to continue this. Objectless awareness is the best way to protect our dedication to other people's happiness. And in objectless awareness,

[23:28]

everything we do from that place is dedication to other people's happiness. And I'm able to see how you can engage in or enter the realm of language and make promises without there being any objects. Do you mean in the language? Well, somehow in the midst of objectless awareness, you are making some promise.

[24:32]

How does that happen? I'm not involved with objects. Either the promise is an object, or the object is an object, or the object is an object, or something. The entire world is simply words. The entire cosmos is just mental talk, mental conversation. So, when we practice

[25:36]

objectless awareness, we simply are the cosmos of the verbal, the literal cosmos. That's all it is. And in that cosmos, in that universe of words, there is these words. These words come from the oneness, the non-separateness from the word. These words are words that erupt out of the world of words from the very fact of being not the slightest bit dislocated from the realm of words. These are verbal expressions which come out of words as nothing more than affirmation of all life. And these words are just like the rest of the words,

[26:44]

not the slightest bit different. And yet they arrive out of the part of the world, or out of the universe of words, that is simply the universe of words, and not the slightest bit more than that. Therefore, they sound like this, I only care for the benefit of other beings. This kind of language comes from the oneness of the world, and the interconnectedness of all speech, and so on. But it is very much, it is of the world of dualism, of language, it is of that world, and it doesn't need to be the slightest bit different from it. As a matter of fact, it's coming from that very willingness to be completely in it, to be completely in it, because of faith that in every word are innumerable buddhas.

[27:46]

It is willingness to be in the world of dualism, because of the ability, because of the confidence to see Buddha in everything. They say, Buddha's sun shines in everything, that was it. Buddha's sun shines in everything, those are words, and those are words which come from words which are just words. Words that are trying to do anything, accomplish anything, do not produce words like Buddha's sun shines in everything. Such other words are words that leak. Buddha's sun shines consciously, all these words could leak, but the actuality, the actual impulse to say this is coming from words that don't leak, is coming from a mind that does not leak, is coming from a mind that doesn't have objects.

[28:52]

But as soon as you say those things, they're just like every other word, namely they leak. Willing to use tools which themselves leak, if you see them as having any substance, they leak. If you see everything as empty, nothing leaks. So, seeing everything as empty, then people say, I only cherish the joy of all beings, all I dedicate my entire life to cherishing the joy of other beings. This kind of language itself will leak or not leak, depending on how you see it, but it's not trying to leak or not leak, it is simply this eruption from the non-dual mind. That's all. The non-dual mind constantly thinks.

[30:03]

It does non-thinking. It does reverse thinking. It does things and it makes confession. And it says, no more. The non-dual mind does not do anything wrong. The non-dual mind does not have anything to confess, and it confesses. It confesses not its non-duality, it confesses duality of some mysterious being. It confesses the duality, the dualistic thinking of somebody. The non-dual mind sponsors this kind of confession, forces this kind of confession, because the non-dual mind knows that beings, sentient beings, those who think dualistically, need confession to occur in order for them to realize non-duality.

[31:10]

So the non-dual mind says, I confess. The non-dual mind does not say, you confess. It says, I confess. Even the non-dual mind says, I confess, to show dualistic thinkers, namely suffering creatures, to show them something that they should try. And the non-dual mind uses a human body to talk, so people can see how happy those who confess are. They say, hey, how can you be so happy? Because I confess my sins. Well, maybe I should try that. Well, maybe you should. But I can't because... Well, I can confess, but I won't be able to say the next part. So then the non-dual Buddha uses the human body to also show,

[32:20]

not only how to confess, but how to practice zazen. And then, because of being able to practice zazen, again to say, that stuff I confessed, I ain't going to do it anymore. Non-duality, non-dual awareness has quite a bit of, excuse the expression, power, spiritual power. It can do fantastic things. It can do basically anything that people need to be happy, it can do. Because that's all it cares about doing. And it has no hindrance in doing that, except, of course, any past karma that needs to be confessed and repented. Once that's taken care of, this non-dual awareness can work and can help people. And since people live in a world of words,

[33:23]

it comes into the world of words and talks. So that's one of the great miracles of Buddha. That's one of the great miracles of objectless awareness, is that it can talk. The speech, the words of Buddha are the main miracle of Buddha. The main miracle of objectless meditation is that objectless meditation can still talk. If it couldn't talk, it wouldn't be able to reach us. Tom Saka Sutra says,

[34:44]

I don't know what it says, but anyway, I wrote it on top here. Rescuing beings and monarchs of virtue. Those two go together. You want to rescue beings? You've got to be a big time virtuous creature. You need a lot of virtue in order to rescue beings. Now, you can have a very deep cherishing of sentient beings. You can have that without a lot of virtue. It is possible. I've seen people like this. Have you ever seen people like this? Hmm? People that I mean really... Well, certainly many people you see who cherish some people, right? Like certain people really cherish some other people.

[35:53]

I mean, they're fabulous. These people are often called mother or father or uncle or aunt or big brother or big sister. Such people often really cherish somebody. And maybe some of you have been lucky enough to have been cherished by such cherishing people. Maybe you've even been lucky about being cherished just the right amount. Not too much, not too little. But usually our mother or father cherish us a little bit too much or a little too little. It's hard for them to hit the mark. They often overdo it or underdo it. But still, you probably have seen some people cherish other beings and really concern that other people be happy. Haven't you seen that? And some people really want a lot of people to be happy. And some people even want everybody to be happy. But even the ones who want everybody to be happy,

[36:56]

in order to actually go from wanting everybody to be happy to actually people being happy, you need a lot of virtue. In other words, you need power. Moral power to help. To not just want them to be, but actually do a few tricks to help them. For example, the main thing you can do to help them is not just want to help them, not just cherish them all the time, moment by moment, and really want the very best for them, but have no objects of thought while you're doing that. Then, not only will you want them to want the very best for them and be thinking about them all the time, but you will be showing them what to do in order to be happy. So just wanting the very best for people is the foundation,

[37:59]

but not enough. You have to then develop non-dual awareness in order to show them how to take care of themselves so they will be happy. And again, non-dual awareness depends on virtue. You've got to have a lot of virtue in order to be willing to not have objects of thought. You can't actually reach down there and pull them up out of the muck. Even Buddha doesn't do that. Buddha doesn't see the people down there, reach down and pull them up. Buddha sees the people in the muck and then says, Hey, I'll show you how to practice zazen. Buddha shows the way of practice, but Buddha also says, but before you can practice this non-dual awareness, you've got to confess and repent, and so on. You've got to do all this other stuff. Or not necessarily before, but in conjunction with it. So rescuing beings and monarchs of virtue go together.

[39:10]

Monarchs of virtue rescue people. Rescuing people implies monarchs of virtue. Kings and queens of virtue. Top of the line virtue. You feel a lot of gratitude. At the same time, the monasteries start to practice and you receive a lot of love. You receive a lot of love. You're very happy to be with your brother. You're very happy to ask him. You're experiencing a lot of love. You're experiencing a lot of gratitude. A lot of gratitude. You pass that love. You pass that love. You pass that love.

[40:38]

That's what the Patra says. You should think. All the things I've done from the beginning of this time. All the unwholesome things. Everything I've done. I want to confess now. On a smaller scale, you might just think about, Whoa, what have I done that I can remember? Just scan over your life. Think about some of the stuff you did. Because now it encouraged me that it might be good, for me anyway, to spend maybe just a few minutes or maybe just the rest of each day just thinking about what I've done. Some of the dirty deeds that I've done. Just think about them.

[42:17]

I have kind of a good feeling about kind of a warm feeling about thinking about these things. Like it would be good for me to think of these things that I've done that I'm so good. I didn't feel good about telling you that you should think about them. Because I don't want to stick your nose down in your own caca. But rather that I just want to tell you that when I thought about it just now, after reciting these teachings to you, when I thought about revealing my own non-virtuous beings, I felt good. I felt warmed by the idea. I felt I thought that would make me maybe that would be helpful. That's what I actually felt. I don't know if I'll remember to do it after this lecture is over, but sort of that's what I'm going to intend to do for the next for a little while anyway. I'm going to think about this natural, particular thing

[43:22]

and see if that helps me sit still. And if it does, I think that probably will inspire others to do the same. Yes. Yes. ... Well, we do do public confession, but we don't do it specifically. No, we don't. We don't have one person talk individually and say it. We do it as a group. when we do that, I think it's more powerful than

[44:27]

I think that's not more... Anyway, I don't know if it's more powerful, but it's differently powerful. Saying something in front of somebody else is differently powerful than to say it by yourself. So... But I think I might even dare to say that saying something in front of someone else is kind of maybe more powerful than saying it by yourself. So it says here, Samantabhadra recommends that you make your confession not all alone, unless you're in a state of objectless awareness, which in that case, you would do it all alone. But again, not all alone, and even in a state of objectless awareness, you're not all alone. You're all one. In a state of objectless awareness, all the Buddhas are there with you. When you're in a state of objectless awareness, all the Buddhas are patting you on the head. Innumerable Buddhas have their hand on your head when you're doing zazen,

[45:30]

saying, good work, keep it up. So you're not alone, even though you have no objects. So, in the state of objectless awareness, or even if you have objects, you confess in the presence of all, not just one, but all Buddhas. Including Shakyamuni. He's one of them. And Siddhartha Krishna. And your master, this minister. Anybody. You confess in the presence of all Buddhas, in front of you, all around you, underneath you, inside you, all the Buddhas. You do it in their presence, and that makes it more effective. You do it in the presence of all the Bodhisattvas. You do it publicly. You do it publicly in front of all the Buddhas. That's the way you do the confession. Maybe you start by thinking by yourself. Okay, I got it now. Okay, now I'm going to remember what I did. Now I'm going to say it again,

[46:32]

either out loud or to myself, but I have the feeling I'm saying this in front of Buddha. It'll make it more effective. Where are the Buddhas? Where is Shakyamuni Buddha? Where are these Buddhas? These Buddhas are everywhere. In everything. All of them are in everything. So if you're standing in front of a person, when you confess in front of a person, you're confessing in front of all Buddhas. If you confess in front of a wall, you're confessing in the presence of all Buddhas. I think that's the way they recommend here. So it should be in public. So do it in public. Do it in the public arena of the Buddha. Okay? If you want to say out loud a specific thing in front of some specific people, you can do that too. That's the origins of dogsong there. I think it was when monks didn't confess

[47:35]

in public anymore certain things. They just went to an individual teacher and confessed certain things. That was maybe the beginning of an individual interview. A private confession. So public, private. But anyway, in the presence of Buddha. Please confess in the presence of Buddha. That's what Samantabhadra recommended. Okay? I think it's better. Okay. Om Namo Buddhaya

[48:38]

Sevan Dham Om Namo Buddhaya Sevan Dham Buddhaghita Sevan Dham Namo Buddhaya Sevan Dham Sevan Dham Namo Buddhaya Sevan Dham Well, this parade is unsurpassable. I am proud to be part of it.

[49:37]

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